5/31/02...Left the HOCKEY drawing up for luck! The photo was taken in April 1985, Chris' first Easter. From the photo you can see, he took to the jelly beans very quickly! That's his little basket and wood board puzzle..which we still have. Last night was the first in a series of hurdles we must get over. Honor's Night....It was nice to see so many of Chris' friends being recognized and to meet some of their parents...but God, I MISSED him! It was very nice to meet Sarah Sikora and congratulate her, she seems like a lovely girl! The thing that makes me SO SAD is how EXCITING and MEMORABLE for happy reasons these days would have been! Honor's Night, Senior Prom, his 18th Birthday, and High School Graduation!!...all within a two week time period. The house would be SO full of ENERGY and excitement and we'd all be so PROUD!! As the result of another, these days have been reduced to dread, profound sadness, and days to get through..get over with...if he was still here we'd never want them to end! They will STILL be memorable, they will be remembered as even more horrible days that resulted from a few seconds with a Ford Ranger in November, 2000. But one thing that didn't change as a result of that horrible morning is how PROUD I am of Chris and I always will be....he was an EXCEPTIONAL human being!! Fran Kempa - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 15:41:59 (MDT) Today we attended “Honors Night” at Franklin High School in Livonia. Chris would have been a senior. It is hard to see his friends, older and so full of energy. Events like these are both a joy and a horror. I left with the vague feeling of an empty shell. Once useful and then cast aside, no longer needed for its original purpose. I wish to thank all who made it possible for my family to try to make something good come out something that was so bad. Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 00:01:16 (MDT) "Do they have radios in heaven? I hope they do. Cause they're playing my song on the radio, and I'm singing it to you. If they dont have radios in heaven here's what I'll do. I can bring my guitar when my time is up and i'll play it for you. Tell me can you hear me now? If not, then I can try to sing real loud."-Tom Higgenson - <-> - Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 23:53:35 (MDT) 5/30/02...Same HOCKEY drawing as yesterday...it brought the Wings good luck last night! The photo was taken in Feb. 1993, third geade. That's Chris and Scott Allen all ready for the living wax museum. Chris was Jonas Salk and Scott was Walt Disney. I had the pleasure of helping them both get ready for the event!! I was SO happy to see Cori Smith and Angie Hillman at my door yesterday afternoon!...and Angie found MORE pictures!! Tonight the second Chris Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship will be awarded to Sarah Sikora. We WILL be there...this would have been his year and I wouldn't miss it...I just wish the circumstances were SO different...he would be accepting an art scholarship rather than us giving one in his memory...and there is NO DOUBT, that was well within the realm of possibilities, but like SO MANY things now, we'll NEVER know, and that is very sad. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 23:18:15 (MDT) "when they brought me back to to where you were, I heard the angels, they couldn't stop crying. Their soft and broken tears created an ocean, when they heard that you were dying."-Chris Envy - <-> - Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 22:19:20 (MDT) Hey Chris...I have good news! I'm engaged! I'm getting married on my 18th birthday I hope you will look down on me...I wish you could be there in person though... Jessie - Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 14:59:54 (MDT) 5/29/02....the art Adam calls HOCKEY. Very timely I thought. The photo was taken in Dec. 1996 while Christmas tree shopping. Tree shopping was always a very difficult task! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 22:10:42 (MDT) Beyond the world of mortal means, Beyond what the mind prrceives, Beyond the scope of righteousness, Beyond what faith believes. Beyond the realm of carefree days, Beyond the sea of dreams, Beyond the circle of the sun, Beyond what moonlight beams. There is a place where rivers flow, And flowers all grow free, And fill the quiet valley, For as far as we can see. Where songbirds sing their sweetest songs, And rainbows fill the sky, Where dreams are never shattered, Where you never need to cry. Beyond this weary world of ours, Is a land so truly blessed, That the toil and troubles that plague us, Are finally put to rest. Where moonbeams are like diamond dust, And sparkle through the night, And bathe the path before us, With a diamond dusted light.This land beyond tomorrow, Is what we seek today, Someday we're sure to find it.... It's just a breath away! Beyond Our World <Geraldine Stephey> - Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 14:54:36 (MDT) 5/28/02...Same Caleb Deady drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken on Christmas morning, 1998. That's Charlie wearing Chris' Santa hat. Last evening we went to the Cemetary. We took the Shepherd hook from the pool yard...I thought Chris would like that. Since I don't intend to fuss this year, I didn't think we'd miss it. It's the same hook we had for about four summers before Chris was killed. The first year we had it, as we were taking it down, I wondered if I'd be able to remember where it was the next year when it came time to put it back up. It was placed in a bed of Beacon Silver. Chris had a WONDERFUL idea! He took some rocks from around the pool and made a small circle around the hook. He told me, "You'll ALWAYS know where to put it now"...Those rocks are STILL THERE!! But I put it at the Cemetary. I bought a beautiful purple Ivy Geranium for one side and a beautiful white New Guinea Impatient for the other side....the colors of resurrection and life. I put a Chris pin on one planter and the Blue Turquise Marker pin on the other planter....I remembered! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 14:28:52 (MDT) 5/27/02...This is the drawing Caleb found recently in his room while giving it a good cleaning. It's a characture of him Chris did in 1994. It's signed and dated...Chris Kempa...in cursive! and 1994. The photo was taken in Dec. 1996. The traditional boys with the Christmas tree by the front door. I had a visit from Moriah when I came home from work today!...she drove!! I don't know why that surprised me,...she is 18, but sometimes I think because Chris is frozen in time and still 16, his friends are too..but I know they're not! We talked about Prom and Graduation and how Chris would be SO excited! He'd also have his Birthday in between! We talked about College and Career Center. Last year at this time she wasn't planning on making art her career...now she is!! She hopes to go to CCS in two years...Chris would be ...and is SO happy!! She told me she'd show me her Prom pictures! In a few minutes I'm going to get two nice plants for the shepherd hook for the Cemetary. When I called just before Mother's Day to inquire whether or not they were allowed yet the woman replied, "You can put them up at your own risk but I feel I must warn you, we've had A LOT OF THEFTS so far this year, if you can believe it." I felt like saying, after what happened to the Memorial three times last year I'd believe ANYTHING. I've learned many things about many people through out this whole horrible ordeal! Happy 50th!!!! Birthday to my brother Bill!! Fran Kempa - Monday, May 27, 2002 at 14:43:13 (MDT) I dreamed last night of Heaven, As I followed you there. I felt your presence, heard your heart, I almost touched your hair. I remember crying, just because I missed you so. Though I was right behind you, I didn't want to let you go. I begged for a reminder, To help me see your face, A thing to hold and touch, But it left an empty place. I looked for you in everything, I asked for you by name I know that you were with me there, I'll never be the same. I dreamed last night of Heaven, I ache for one more glimpse, Of the love I felt while near you, And the beautiful heart I miss. I Dreamed Last Night of Heaven <Brenda Penepent> - Sunday, May 26, 2002 at 18:42:09 (MDT) 5/26/02...Same GREEN drawing as yesterday. The photo is another taken at the beach in Aug., 1993. That's Chris in the SUNKIST boat and Adam in the IVORY SOAP boat...they had such fun and made so many memories there! One year ago today Chris was gone for 6 months and we brought Speck home. When Chris was alive, I ALWAYS said, Charlie and Chris were the two sweetest ones in the house. Now I say, Charlie and Speck are the two sweetest ones in the house! He has been such a GREAT addition to our household! He has made us laugh everyday through our tears...Adam W. had a great idea!...and he and Charlie love each other..! But he's still not enough to take my mind away from Chris for a whole day....if anything, when I look at him or play with him all I can think is, "Chris would have loved him!!.....One year ago today the Memorial was trashed for the first of three times by you know who...I have told several people my HOPE is, Chris is haunting these people...not to hurt them, Chris would NEVER hurt anybody, he was too kind and loving for that... just scare the hell out of them...he'd enjoy that!...and so would I!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 23:22:27 (MDT) I can't believe after all this time, I can't get over you. I guess a love like ours is one of a kind, a love that's true. It's been 18 months since you left me to go to God and Heaven's immensity. Do you still remember me? It's like a bad dream that plays, over and over in my head. Things happened so fast that morning, then they told me you were dead. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you, even after all this time, what am I going to do? Maybe this is the way Moms are supposed to feel. Perhaps our wounds are never intended to heal. If I could ask one question, "Why?" how is it God needed you more than I? Do you remember me? Do You Remember Me? <Unknown Author> - Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 18:52:57 (MDT) Dear Chris, I hope you are having an absolutly wonderful day today! We will love you and miss you always. Love, Rachel Rachel - Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 14:36:43 (MDT) 5/25/02....Adam calls this drawing GREEN. I don't know the story behind it but it, like so many, bothers me in some way. The photo was taken in August 1993 at the cottage. That's Chris and his favorite SUNKIST boat. He had SO much fun with that at the beach and in the pool! This is the weekend we would open the pool and plant flowers. We plan to do neither one. It's not just because Chris isn't here and our hearts aren't in it.....although that's a major factor. It also has something to do with the weather, just like last year. I guess we'll get to both at some point, if not I really don't care. Our tradition of putting the picnic table and deck furniture out on Mother's day hasn't happened yet either. Fran Kempa - Saturday, May 25, 2002 at 09:36:14 (MDT) God needed an Angel in Heaven, to stand at the Savior's feet, His choice must be the rarest, a heart so gentle and sweet. He gazed among the mighty throng, then stopped, and picked the best. Our child was his chosen one, with Jesus, he's now at rest. THE CHOSEN ONE <ANONYMOUS> - Friday, May 24, 2002 at 15:23:58 (MDT) 5/24/02...same HAND? as yesterday. The photo was taken in August, 1994 at the beach. That's Scott Allen exiting the water and Chris lingering behind....WONDERFUL memories, Chris LOVED the beach. Yesterday at work we had a meeting all morning then CPR recertification in the afternoon. The training included a 45 minute video. It was sheer torment. It showed various situations and ages where CPR was required. I have been regularly recertified in CPR for YEARS. NEVER have I had to get up and leave the room to regain my composure...until yesterday. I had to leave twice. The flashbacks from the hospital were intense...I'm sure the poor men conducting the class had never seen such a reaction to their presentation and had no idea what was going on. My co workers understood and were very supportive. Fran Kempa - Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 22:15:30 (MDT) A spirit moves and passes on, never again to meet the dawn. A soul to another way, no more words left to say. all the time saved has gone, nothing is left to be done. Buried deep beyond the winter's snow, no one can answer why.. he just had to go. Everything has been said, it's all over but in heart and mind, thoughts begin to sober. There is no reason to tell you why, not even for the tears you cry... And now he'll never come back, It's a useless question to attack.... In the wink of an eye all life is through, and it can happen no matter what you do, no use in wishful thinking. Nothing can compare, for someone like he is rare,... Look up in the sky, wipe your eyes, take a deep breath, remember and smile. As you walk away remember you'll see him, after awhile...... Author Unknown - Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 16:14:39 (MDT) 5/23/02.....I love this drawing Adam calls HAND? The photo was taken in August, 1990, our first summer at the beach. That's Chris and Katrina Deady building something! Yesterday we met with two members of the Franklin Art department to choose the 2002 recipient of the Chris Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship. There were four applicants, two girls and two boys. ALL were VERY talented and very qualified. One girl tipped the scales however. CONGRATULATIONS!! to Sarah Sikora. Once again, I don't know her but I was assured Chris did. Sarah plans to attend the Art Institute of Seattle and major in Graphic Design. Sarah, I'm sure both your grandmother and Chris are looking down and are very happy with our choice and are very proud of you! Fran Kempa - Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 14:49:00 (MDT) I couldn't help noticing the page view tally today, Measuring since …1 January 2001 Total number of page views up till now...45014 Chris would have been proud....... Miss you always, DAD DAD <<<<<>>>>> - Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 11:59:57 (MDT) We know that you are hurting We know just how you feel. The pain deep inside your heart; you feel it can't be real. We know what's going through your mind, thoughts that cloud it through the day. We're on the road you're traveling now, it can be handled, there's a way. Don't fight the tears you're feeling, you must just let them flow, speak of your child daily, to many people that you know. Find others who can understand, they'll hold you as you cry. The questions we have all asked, all the how's and every why. We will always think of our child, no one will have to say a word. They will remain in our hearts, our precious child remembered. Precious Child Remembered <Cyndy Estep> - Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 15:33:35 (MDT) 5/22/02....Same close up TREEGUY as yesterday. The photo is another taken Aug. 25th, 2000. That's Grandma Kempa and Uncle Tony in front, and Adam, Chris and myself in the back. Once again, there is NO clue of the fate that awaited Grandma Kempa, and most unfortunatly Chris. We had a message from Mr. Rheault today but weren't able to connect....there were FOUR applicants for the Chris Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship this year!! We will be meeting sometime this week to chose the recipient. While Mr. Rheault said Chris knew both the girls last year who were chosen, I didn't know either one. This year I am confident I know ALL four....even though I don't know who they are at this point...the fact that they are Senior art students in the year Chris SHOULD have been, I just have a feeling I know them all and I'm looking VERY forward to seeing their presentations!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, May 21, 2002 at 22:32:42 (MDT) Late at night while I am sleeping I can hear God's quiet voice speak. I can hear the words of comfort, words of love that I do seek." "My child I will walk with you, hold your hand through painful years. I will not leave your side, I will wipe away all of your tears." "I know the pain you are feeling, know the torment you go through, for I lost my son to death, My heart was saddened just like you." "But my son rose to eternal life, your child has done the same. He was given a new body, he now has a different name." "He sees the rainbow every day, feels the sunshine on his face, he only knows a smile now, in my glorious, peaceful place." "He has a mansion built for him, he runs and has such fun, I know you will be joining him, when your work on earth is done." "He's now at peace forever more, I will keep him safe from any harms, he awaits you walking thruugh the gates, for you to hold him in your arms." Author Unknown - Tuesday, May 21, 2002 at 19:28:58 (MDT) 5/21/02....The art is a close up of one of my favorite drawings, TREEGUY. This may be the one that hangs over the fireplace in our new room. The photo was taken on Aug. 25, 2000. That's "Grandma Kempa" in front and Adam's oldest sister Mary behind her. As we stood on those steps, none of us had ANY clue... just look at our faces, one week later Grandma Kempa would be dead and less than three months later, Chris would be killed! I had a sign yesterday! I was VERY aware all day of the fact that one and a half years ago my baby was needlessly killed. I finally decided to have the roll of film developed from my Mother's 80th Birthday party. I suddenly remembered that about two months ago, Adam Wm. brought two rolls of film to me while I was on the computer and asked if I'd develop them for him. I agreed and put them on the computer desk...there they sat for two months...I figured they were band pictures. I took them with me Monday. I chose the one hour developing...the first envelope I opened was one of the rolls Adam gave me...on the very top, the first picture, was one of Chris and Adam opening their gifts on Chris' last Christmas, 1999! I was so happy and so sad! There are three other pictures with him in them!! If I had known either one of those rolls could have POSSIBLY contained a picture of Chris I would have developed them on the spot! That's why I say it's a sign....why on the 18 month anniversary did I feel compelled to develop that film when it had sat there for SO long?...truly a bitter sweet sign!! Fran Kempa - Monday, May 20, 2002 at 22:43:04 (MDT) To adapt a line from a poem I heard not too long ago,..."18 months since you went away, seems like forever, seems like a day. And that's exactly how it feels. As the time lengthens since I last saw him alive, it feels like ages ago. But the events of that horrible morning are still as fresh as a few minutes ago. I don't know if the pain gets better or worse with time. Now after a year and a half with out him it's gotten different. It's not the raw pain of stunning shock anymore, it's a constant ache of longing and emptiness inside me, inside my soul. There is nothing that can fill it. We continue to scramble and search for our new "normal", but continue to be unsuccessful. We will never be normal again. What happened to Chris and our family is not normal. We are all sadly changed forever. It's SO strange because so many things remain the same yet, as a result, EVERYTHING is different. Every day that passes, every time something happens, I wish he could share it with us. Everytime I think of all the things he'll never get to do, all the things he would have been, the void gets bigger. I'm not a whole person anymore and I never will be. Part of me is forever missing. I'm still so sad for Adam. Every time I think about all the things they'd be sharing as brothers. They had so many interests in common and at their ages now, what should have been 18, and 22, I just know they would have been collaborating even more now and well into the future...brothers there for each other..always. And when we're gone they would still have had each other. I try to think about him only in life, but it's hard not to think about what happened. I STILL hope and pray it was instant, he had NO idea and he didn't suffer. And it sounds like it was. But I'll NEVER forgive them from keeping me from the scene. Hearing is the last to go, I could have held him and told him how much I loved him one last time before he was pronounced. The scenes from the hospital still replay in my mind when ever they want to. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, sometimes they just start. I still cry every day. Most days I cry because he is gone, but I'm also starting to smile more because he was here...so I guess that's progress. I've convinced myself that death is just a passage to another life, as we've been told, a much better life so I HAVE to believe that even more now. He is having a wonderful life in death....and even with this belief, I STILL MISS him SO much. That energy, joy and talent can NEVER be replaced! And I STILL WISH this NEVER happened!! Fran Kempa - Monday, May 20, 2002 at 10:24:19 (MDT) 5/20/02...Same CROW picture as yesterday. The photo was taken in sept., 1993, first day of 4th grade. It was tradition to take the boys pictures on the first day of school. With Adam I think I stopped at Freshman year High school. Then in Aug / Sept. 1998, Chris was a Freshnam in High school, Adam a Freshman in College, I took both of their pictures again!...It was tradition!! I truly have so much more to say on this horrible anniversary but I'm very tired and must sleep on it. Fran Kempa - Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 22:22:37 (MDT) 18 whole months and I still pretend, that this didn't happen, the dream soon would end. And you'll still be here, as much as before, laughing, shouting, and slamming the door. Your Birthday is coming, but there won't be cake. No special treats, no dinner to make. So with my painted on smile that makes me feel brave, I'll carry some flowers to place on your grave. And wonder WHY it had to be you, who suffered and died when your life was so new. And because there's no answers, I'll never know why, a treasure like you was chosen to die. Oh life here goes on amd time drifts by, but at the oddest moments, I find I still cry. There is a big void where you should still stand, I long to reach out and hold your hand. Just like I used to do not long ago, when I got so much pleasure from watching you grow. I don't have that now, it was taken away, I only have memories of watching you play. And these I keep with me deep in my heart, til we all meet together no more to part. AUTHOR UNKNOWN - Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 22:07:17 (MDT) 5/19/02...The picture Adam calls CROWS. I don't know the story behind it. Like so many, I never saw it until after Chris was killed. The photo was taken in the summer of 1992, our first one on Berwick. Both boys on the front porch. Chris LOVED the porch. The rest of us rarely, if ever sat on it. Chris would rearrange the furniture and pillows and make himself very comfortalbe out there. Some nights he'd bring his guitar out, some nights his CD player. Little by little, more remnents are being chipped away...The loveseat we had out on the porch when Chris was alive, the one he often laid on, was damaged by ice this winter and we threw it out last week. We replaced it with a BEAUTIFUL white, slatted rocking bench which I love....it was my Mother's Day present....but I felt SO BAD about the love seat. If Chris was still alive, I wouldn't have given it a second thought...I would have ben HAPPY to see it go. But it's just one more thing that was here when he was that he touched and used and liked...and we threw it out...HARD to explain! Today at work, at lunch time, one of my co workers brought up the fact that tomorrow it will be one and a half years!!!...since Chris was killed. While that was foremost on my mind, I didn't necessarily expect any body else to remember. Then the conversation naturally rewound to that horrible morning. Many said they had seen the news and felt horrible that a child died....and when they found out he was mine...a mother who CHERISHED her boys so, they felt even worse. I commented that ALL Mother's cherish their children but they didn't agree. They said when ever I talked about either one, or both, "you could just see, how much you loved them!" Then the conversation switched to the wake and how, if it had to be, how beautiful it was. The art display and the video were mentioned most. I told them I had to thank Angie Hillman for the video, and Jeremy Rheault for the art display. They both just stepped in and took over big pieces of the puzzle that filled in to make a WONDERFUL tribute to Chris! Angie then repeated the gesture at the funeral. She did an amazing job of getting the music together. She even sang one of the songs and read one of Chris' poems. They remembered the BEAUTIFUL flower palate from my friend Nancy. Then Daryl said something that made me sad and happy at the same time. He said no one really knew how talented Chris was until after he was killed. He said, "You would make a comment here and there about Chris...how he liked to draw, but you NEVER told us how talentd he was! He then summed it up quite well,...."WHAT A WASTE!" he said. And I said, "Daryl, I couldn't agree with you more. At that point we were all crying. Fran Kempa - Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 15:07:31 (MDT) e-mails KIJUY <KJUH@YAHOO.COM> - Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 02:31:15 (MDT) 5/18/02...The art is the same GUN drawing as yesterday. The photo is another taken on Aug. 26th, 2000 at the 50th Anniversary party. That's Chris and Grandma Joan. Thery're looking at one of the gifts...a memory book that was made by asking each guest to submit a memory of Bill and Joan or Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grampa, etc. It turned out very nice! I spent a very draining Chris related evening Fri., intensified by a very draining phone call. Fran Kempa - Friday, May 17, 2002 at 22:15:26 (MDT) The truth will come out. <<<<<0>>>>> <Dad> - Friday, May 17, 2002 at 13:42:46 (MDT) 5/17/02...This drawing Adam calls, GUN. I wish I knew the story behind it. The photo was taken Aug. 26, 2000, at my parent's 50th Anniversary party. My sister Kathy is to the right, dancing with her grandson Bradley. Chris is to the left, dancing with my sister Molly...you just can't see her. Just as everyone commented in Sept. at Grandma Kempa's wake and funeral, EVERYONE commented at my parent's party....what "wonderful sons you have and you should be SO proud!"...And I was!...I still am! Claudia was kind enough to accompany me tonight to give me a second opinion on some furniture we were thinking about for our new room....she's much better at decorating than I am but she liked my choice! When I dropped her off we sat in her driveway for a while and talked. We both agreed we SHOULD be on the phone every day comparing prom info and graduation party ideas...but that can never be. I tried to explain to her how I feel everyday...it's hard to describe the pain...and it's a life sentence! We both agreed she should know to some degree how it must feel to come close to losing a child...even though he was older, and why I'll NEVER know, was spared over Chris...but she HAS to know just a very little bit how I must feel.... Fran Kempa - Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 22:35:29 (MDT) Mrs. Kempa--->>you will always be in my thoughts, and prayers, i love you and always will! punk <rocker> - Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 15:27:29 (MDT) The photo album of my mind, holds treasured thoughts of you. And I can almost see again, the things we used to do. I hear your voice, I see your smile, I feel you close to me. The photo album of my mind, shows how we used to be. Time may have changed us through the years, but I will always find, you're just as I remembered in, the album of my mind. And as I turn page after page, such precious scenes I see, The photo album of my mind, is very dear to me. It holds the pictures of our past, like reels of film unwind, I cherish all these photos, in the album of my mind. My Photo Album <Author Unknown> - Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 14:13:00 (MDT) Happy to hear there will be another Benefit show at "The Barn." Hope it's as successful as last year. A Franklin Parent - Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 14:02:25 (MDT) 5/16/02.....Same NO MOUTH as yesterday. The more I thought about it today, the more significant it became...an altered left eye and no mouth,....won't say anything...definitely sounds like a member of the cast of characters...another omen?? The photo was taken in July 1997 at Uncle Tony's house. Chris was worried then that he was getting "fat" and started a very regular routine of exercise. By 2000 when he was killed, he was SOLID! As I sit here and type at 12:28, all I can think about is Adam being at the Star Wars premiere at the AMC 20, and how Chris SHOULD be there with him and several friends. There are SO many things Adam is doing now that Chris would have been SO into..I almost said, "And vice / versa.." but who knows what Chris would be in to right now...I just WISH I did! One thing Adam is doing that Chris would have LOVED is restoring old arcade video games...the BIG machines from arcades. He has two at the moment. One is a large machine that you stand and play, the other is a cocktail table variety where two people sit and play...he has spent MANY hours working on them...sometimes we think it's a form of therapy...but we KNOW, Chris would have LOVED them! Adam has also spent a lot of time lately planning the next Chris Kempa benefit show. It's scheduled for Sat. July 6th at Wilson Barn. All proceeds will go to the Chris Kempa Memorial Scholarship Fund. Fran Kempa <Notfranny@aol.com> - Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 22:46:42 (MDT) The day came that most Mothers fear The precious life you hold so dear Was taken away without a trade With nothing but heartache to take his place. You hear a whisper, you hear a sound In a day sometime you've found Through your tears you stop and stare, you turn to look, but he's not there. You wander through the halls and rooms In your memory his image looms. your thoughts turn to him instead, what were the last words you said? Did you tell him how much you loved him? did you show him and tell him how much you care? you fight back the tears you cry for him You whisper his name but he's not there. So you come to terms in your own special way You want that chance once more to say, how much you loved him and how much you care, But it's too late now, he's just not there. He's Not There <By Gay Johnson> - Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 18:08:48 (MDT) 5/15/02...Adam calls this work NO MOUTH. If you look closely, the left eye is different from the right. The photo was taken on January 5, 1997, Adam's 17th birthday. That's Adam to the right, adjusting the candles, his friend Ryan Brescoe in the middle and Chris to the left. As you can see in the photo, as on all of Adam's birthdays, Chris was more excited than Adam! There was a long period of time where Ryan was over every night. We never minded, he's a great kid. He's also an only child and to some degree, he regarded Chris as a little brother. He, like so many others, was very effected by Chris' death. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 22:38:57 (MDT) Today I was clearing out the last bit of stuff from a storage area in the old College of Pharmacy and Allied Health. I found a "dead" hard drive from our first home computer. It made me think of Chris and Adam pecking away at our first PC. I was so sad that I couldn't see the files that may have been left on it. Just another part of Chris that is gone. Miss you always. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 11:17:21 (MDT) 5/14/02...Same Mom drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in October, 1997 during our LONG awaited trip to Disney World. Adam was a Senior, Chris was in Eighth grade. The boys discovered this game in the hotel arcade and it became a regular evening event....they had competitions...who could get the highest score. As you can see in the picture, Chris is paying CLOSE attention to his brother's technique and just WAITING for his turn! I had another VIVID Chris memory last night... Monday nights were guitar lesson nights. Since the lessons were only 30 minutes and the guitar store was located at Six Mile and Middlebelt, I thought it would be foolish to drive home then back so I'd wait in the parking lot. I'd listen to music, read, or both while I waited. His last lesson was one week before he was killed, Nov. 13th 2000. On this Monday, it was my turn to listen to music on the way home from the lesson...we'd switch off, but we each got to listen to our music either on the way there, or on the way home. As we pulled onto Berwick from Plymouth the Bonnie Raitt song, I Can't Make You Love Me, came on the radio and I drove by the house. Chris asked, "What are you doing?" And I replied, "I just want to hear this song." So I drove up and down of few streets of Rosedale. I was singing, LOUDLY, along with Bonnie. At one point in the song...I don't remember where exactly, I went off key....WAY off key! I'll never forget Chris' reaction. He turned and looked at me with a half smile on his face and said, "God Mom!"...and we both started LAUGHING!! I talk about holidays and special occasions, but it's the everyday things that I miss SO much....I STILL miss him SO much...and after all this time, I don't see that changing...ever. Fran Kempa - Monday, May 13, 2002 at 23:03:40 (MDT) 5/13/02....The art is a drawing Chris did in Aug. 1990, our first summer at the cottage. He was between Kindergarden and first grade, and went around drawing EVERYONE! This was his drawing of me one evening as I cooked dinner and he just HAD to draw me...so I posed! The results are the drawing. The photo was taken in March, 1994 I believe. That's Chris, in between his two coaches, Brad Allen to the right of Chris in the green shirt and Ed Sperry to the left of Chris in the white shirt. Both Brad and Ed were VERY dedicated and coached kid basketball for YEARS...Brad even more than Ed! Thank you to EVERYONE for the kind Mother's Day wishes I received in many forms! Fran Kempa - Sunday, May 12, 2002 at 22:33:01 (MDT) I just wanted to tell you that my mom finally got married! remember I told you she planned to? well she did yesterday, it was so beautiful, I hope you looked over us to see everything!!! Jessie <ditzandglitz@aol.com> - Sunday, May 12, 2002 at 15:17:55 (MDT) 5/12/02...Same Chris Mother's Day card as yesterday. The photo was taken Memorial Day weekend, 1985. As I said before, that's all I ever wanted to be......a mother. As you can see in the photo, I'd realized my goal and was SO happy! Fran Kempa - Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 22:23:06 (MDT) "I don't know how you do it, I couldn't have done the same." These sometimes are the words I hear, As I say my son's name. "I had no other choices," Is often my reply, "I must learn to live without him, Or shrivel up and die." It's way down on the inside, Where one can never see Way deep within... Is the missing part of me. It's when you do not see me, that I cry my silent tear, or feel the empty hurt inside, because he is not here. I would choose it to be SO different, I would choose to feel no pain, I would choose to only smile, as I say my son's name. So if you wonder how I do it, I will quietly raise my voice, "I would NEVER have done it this way, If I'd had another choice!" ANOTHER CHOICE <Author Unknown> - Saturday, May 11, 2002 at 15:54:51 (MDT) 5/11/02...Another Chris original Mother's Day card..once again,I neglected to put a date on it never DREAMING I'd be wishing I had, so soon in either one of our lives. The photo was taken on June 10, 1987, Chris' third birthday! You can just see how HAPPY he was! He had on his Superman suit...he LOVED that outfit! He insisted on wearing it at both the family party on the 10th and the kid party that soon followed! I was very surprised and happy to see one of the bands Adam plays in was written up in Friday's Detroit News. There's a very nice article on page E8 about the Pop Project, they're referred to as "The Band Of The Week!" I am very proud! I always was, and continue to be SO proud of both my boys. I remember vividly talking to my brother in law Tony at his house the afternoon of "Grandma Kempa's " funeral. The boys had already left to return to Detroit to make a Weezer concert. He hadn't seen the boys for about three years and was saying what great kids they were. I replied, "I know, I am VERY proud of BOTH my boys!" And he replied, "You should be!"...TWO months before Chris was killed! I had a very nice visit with my dear friend Nancy this afternoon. She showed up at the door and I was SO happy to see her. We don't see each other often but that doesn't hinder the friendship! Just as last year, she gave me a beautiful Mother's Day present....another stone for the garden. This one says, "May you find comfort in the arms of an Angel" and has a picture of an Angel on it! She also gave me one beautiful, perfect, yellow rose....and then she admitted, she was the one who left the present at my door a few weeks ago!! Fran Kempa - Friday, May 10, 2002 at 22:49:55 (MDT) Tonights the Players banquet. We'll b thinkin about ya Chris... A friend - Friday, May 10, 2002 at 13:22:03 (MDT) There is a special group of women who you might not know or recognize They are the ones on Mother's Day with big tears in their eyes. Some might have children that you see but what you don't know, is that they also have children that only they can see. They can see them in a special way, that way is as an angel, for what you don't understand is, they have all seen, felt and held an Angel. Mother's Day is their day too try to see that fact, that their hearts are full of pain because you too, didn't see their Angel. Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms who have, seen, felt and held an Angel. Author Unknown - Friday, May 10, 2002 at 10:41:27 (MDT) 5/10/02...Same Mother's Day card as yesterday. The photo was taken June 10, 1994, Chris' 10th birthday. We had a pool party! Ryan Allum is to the left of Chris, and Travis Messinger is to the right of Chris. The boy hidden by the presents I believe, is Scott Allen. We got a new microwave last night! As it turns out, it has to go back...but anyway.....as we drove home we passed GREENWOODS. Another flood of Chris memories. After a year of being interested in and ownig a few tree frogs Chris changed his interest to tropical fish. He requested and received an aquarium for his 13th birthday in 1997. The understanding was HE was responsible for keeping it clean. He put it in the basement. Chris and I spent many a Saturday afternoon in Greenwoods. They have the best display of tropical fish I've ever seen. Some days we'd just go to look, but most days we came home with a new fish or three. He kept it up pretty well until 1999 when his outside interests just took up too much time. Adam's friend Ryan Brescoe took the fish so we didn't have to flush them. The aquarium went to the garage. Adam was happy to get more space back in the basement. As we continued down Joy Rd. we passed Franklin and saw many cars in the parking lot. I commented that "something must be going on tonight" but I had no clue what...but how I wish I did! Scott called me later on. It was the Senior "mock elections" as he called them. He called to let me know, Chris was voted Most Unforgetable Senior, AND Class Picasso!! I thanked him very much and told him that made me very happy. I hung up the phone, wished SO hard he'd been alive to see it and CRIED! Then I thought that he must know, and his Heavenly friends are VERY proud of him, as I am and ALWAYS will be...and I think he knows that! Fran Kempa <Notfranny@aol.com> - Thursday, May 09, 2002 at 22:42:26 (MDT) 5/9/02...The drawing is one of Chris' original Mother's Day cards! Even though I saved it, I'm very sorry I neglected to put a date on it. I just never DREAMED some day, I'd be sitting here trying so hard to remember such things....I always thought that was WAY in my future...maybe my 70's or 80's! Sitting, trying to remember events in my life, and my children's life. The photo was taken on June 10th 1986, Chris' 2nd birthday....we all look SO serious in the photo! Who knows, maybe we were trying very hard to line the animals up just right!....That's ALL I ever wanted to be, that was my goal...to be a mother. In my mind it was all SO happy! Kids, animals, interests, FUN! NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine it could hurt SO BAD to be a mother! Our microwave died Tues. night. Part of me was SO happy! I've hated that microwave for at least four years now...we got it when Chris was a baby so it was almost 18. I hated the style, that fake wood grain...but it still functioned perfectly, I was too cheap to replace it for looks when it still functioned so well......But part of me was SO sad. This is the microwave Chris did much of his cooking on...his wonderful chip and cheese nachos.....It's just one more thing I will soon discard that makes me feel like I'm discarding Chris and it really hurts! I told Adam W. about the microwave Wed. afternoon. His reaction was normal....it was old, it doesn't owe us anything...And then I said to him, "I agree,.... it even out lived Chris!" Fran Kempa - Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 22:55:00 (MDT) I still have the note that Chris wrote me on my bulletin board..."I will paint you Obi Wan"...My thoughts and prayers are with you as they always are! Ms. Hillman - Wednesday, May 08, 2002 at 20:35:01 (MDT) 5/8/02...Same CRY drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken June 10, 1985, Chris' first birthday! Note the ever present pacifier on the high chair tray. Before I had kids I swore my kids would NEVER use a pacifier! Adam was only hours old when they introduced him to one in the hospital...and it was MAGIC! He called it "ponnie", Chris called it "passie" and I called it wonderful! By the time they were two, they were both finished with them. It was a very easy transition. Tonight as I did dishes and laundry a little after 8, I was clicking through the cable news stations....O'Reilly just didn't grab me as he does most nights. I stumbled upon Connie Chung's show on CNN and it was a Chris experience! She was live from the Sky Walker Ranch, promoting the soon to be released Star Wars Episode II, "Attack Of The Clones." If Chris was still here I would have DEFINATLY said, "oh my gosh Chris, come here, you've GOT to see this." I also realized, Chris would have lucked out, I not only would have let him skip school for Spider Man, but also for the new Star Wars. And that would have happened on Thursday, May 16th. Both Adam and Chris are/ were huge Star Wars fans. Both, have / had LARGE Star Wars toys collections....all still in the original packages! When they fist told me at very young ages that they NEVER intended to open them I was quite skeptical. I figured give them a week and they'd have them ALL opened...But they never did! I admired their restraint and told Chris so one day. He replied, "Mom, if we open them, they go way down in value!" Fittingly, Adam inherited the Star Wars toy collection as well. SURELY, between the comics, and Star Wars toys, college tuition was a done deal! Anyway.... Connie was interviewing Rob Coleman, Animation Director of Industrial Light and Magic and Frank Oz, creator of Yoda. Seems in the new film, Yoda is all digital...computer generated! Right up Chris' alley and he would have been so intrigued! One of the gifts Chris requested and received for his last Birthday, June 10, 2000, his 16th, was a book. A very large and rather expensive book titled, INDUSTRIAL LIGHT AND MAGIC....THE ART OF SPECIAL EFFECTS. It was all about the making of the Star Wars movies. We thought it was a great request and showed how serious he was about his interest. We still have the book. It's in his bedroom, on his book shelf, underneath his year books. Two of which he saw, one, he never lived to. After Chris was killed, Angie Hillman told me Chris promised her he'd draw her a BIG Obie Wan Kanobie....if I recall correctly, he was perfecting it in his mind. He wanted it perfect for her and to her specifications. Unfortunatly, he was killed before he could even start his drawing for her. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 22:56:19 (MDT) Wow, I never could get this site to work for some reason but now it does and I'm really happy! It's been a while, I never actually said something cause I couldn't find the negatives of my pics but I have a couple pics of chris that you can have, I'll bring them over the next time I'm in Livonia! Chris, I miss ya babe, it has been a while, I never stop thinkin about you! your always in my heart! I love you!-Ginny Virginia <lemon_head14@hotmail.com> - Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 18:56:00 (MDT) When I see a Mother cry, I think about you. I know you are heart broken, I see what you live through. I wish I could have stayed with you, We were such a good team You and me together for all time, But now, I'm just a dream. When I first lay in your arms, I loved you dearly I must say, Even though we couldn't change it, I DIDN'T want to go away. I'd have settled for skateboarding, Or drawing or those other things I would have liked to still mess up my room, And race to the phone when it rings. I would have loved to watch you and Dad Get all frustrated and tongue tied, When you had to let me go, The day I took a bride. I'd have loved to give you the gift, The gift of a beautiful grandchild, A child who would sit on your lap, And run through the yard so wild. I guess I could wish for this but I know it won't come true, I'm an Angel in Heaven's Angelic Choir, Singing Happy Mother's Day to you! I love you! Author Unknown - Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 15:41:46 (MDT) 5/7/02...The drawing Adam calls CRY. As most, it's much better in person. Once again, the detail is amazing! The photo is the one I received in the mail last week from Ms. Leach from Emerson Middle School. I'm not sure if it was 7th or 8th grade ('97 / '98). That's Chris in the upper right and Scott Allen to the left of Chris. The other three boys I don't recognize... can anybody help? You can just see how happy they were and how much fun they were having...ALWAYS happy! Claudia told me the other day Chris has been nominated for, "Most Unforgettable Senior" I thought that was very thoughtful and sweet. I just wish he was being nominated in life. I'd like to think had he lived, he'd have been nominated, and voted, best artist! In 1998, Adam was nominated and voted most intelligent Senior boy! I don't know how he felt about it but I was VERY proud! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 13:45:08 (MDT) Dear Mr. Hallmark, I am writing to you from Heaven, and though it must appear A rather strange idea, I see everything from here. I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card A card of love for my Mother, as this day for her is hard. There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in Heaven. She is still a Mother too, no matter where I reside I had to leave she understands, but oh the tears she's cried. I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know That though I live in Heaven, I still love my Mother so. She talks with me and dreams with me, we still share laughter too Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do? My Mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night. She plants flowers in my garden, there my loving memory dwells She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well. So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth I must find a way to remind her, of her wondrous worth. She needs to be honored, and remembered too Just as the children of earth will do. Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you'll do your best I have done all I can do, to you I'll leave the rest. Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity. Dear Mr. Hallmark <By Jody Seilheimer> - Monday, May 06, 2002 at 10:14:24 (MDT) Happy mothers day Mrs. Kempa from everyone at my house and again we thank you for sharing your sons with us. I know I wouldn't be where I am today with out the help of your son Chris and I will always love him as a brother. Cindy Swarhout <littlesiscid@yahoo.com> - Monday, May 06, 2002 at 07:16:40 (MDT) 5/6/02...Same swan art as yesterday. The photo was taken in Sept. 1989, first day of Kindergarden. That's Chris and Libby Michael's sister Rachel playing on the play ground at Grant School. Chris had a mad crush on Libby Michael. Unfortunatly for him, her Dad got transferred a lot and she was gone by the end of first grade. She lived in the West Chicago block of Auburndale and they met the summer before school started...I don't remember how. They found out they were in the same class and Chris INSISTED we go to school together for the first day so we did. Libby, her sister Rachel, her Mom ,Chris and myself all walked to and from school together...with a little time in between for fun. Fran Kempa - Sunday, May 05, 2002 at 22:26:40 (MDT) 5/5/02...The art Adam calls SWAN. I believe it's from 1993,third grade.The photo is another taken in June, 1996 at the sixth grade breakfast. That's Chris and other people...none of whom I recognize. He was looking at the certificate they all were given that morning. They spelled his name wrong. He brought it to our attention and we brought it to Babcock's attention...she was going to replace it in a matter of days...I'm glad he wasn't waiting for it as he never got it. Scott came over two nights last week and hung out with Adam and Erik. I was very happy to see him and glad he was here....but it seemed SO strange..he should be here visiting Chris...VERY HARD to explain. Fran Kempa - Saturday, May 04, 2002 at 23:57:56 (MDT) What Does It Feel Like To Lose A Child? It's a pain that never goes away It's with you every single day. Imagine a wrenching pain in your gut And a teriffic ache in your heart. They started the day you and your child Were torn apart. It's a lifetime of asking "why It's knowing that every day you'll cry. To the outside world you put up a buffer But inside you pray he didn't suffer. It's regreting there were no goodbyes It's having to listen to those horrible lies. It's hoping he'll come to you in a dream It's wishing they allowed you to go to the scene It's wondering what he'd be like today It's knowing people are guarded with what they say. It's a void that you can never fill It's wishing every day he was never killed. Every day you miss the joy That came to you From this wonderful boy It's knowing you'll miss him Every day of your life The pain cuts right through you Like a knife Author Unknown - Saturday, May 04, 2002 at 19:32:18 (MDT) 5/4/02...CORRECTION....Danny Sperry is not to Chris' left, but to the left of Chris. Fran Kempa - Friday, May 03, 2002 at 23:51:07 (MDT) 5/4/02....Same useless left eye art as yesterday. The photo was taken in June, 1996, at Grant Elementry's Sixth Grade breakfast...a pseudo graduation of sorts. Kristin Ogden, the girl who dedicated her dance to Chris last week, is the first girl from the left in the first row. Right behind her is Chris with LONG hair! To his left is Danny Sperry. Adam and a group of friends saw Spiderman this afternoon and said it was "good"...not great, good. Eric took his brother out of school early so he could go with them...When Brad and Adam told me that all I could think was, "Chris would have been there too!" I wouldn't have been able to let him skip school for Tiger's opening day as we had agreed to so many years ago because it was during Spring Break. This I thought, would have been the event I let him skip school for...the Spiderman movie. And he would have been SO excited! Someone riffled through the laundry basket today!....something that REALLY bugs me! For years I have been religious about doing the laundry. Since the laundry room is right off the kitchen it's no problem to keep up with it. What I am very negligent about is getting the clean laundry upstairs. I fold everything VERY neatly and put it in a laundry basket on the shelf. I always have enough of everthing to last until the laundry is put away but for some reason the males in the house NEVER do...someone ALWAYS riffles through the basket disturbing everything and wrinkling the clothes. When Chris was alive, and still to this day, as soon as I notice it I say, in a not very nice voice, "WHO riffled through the laundry basket?!!" Before 11/20/00 Chris was ALWAYS blamed. And he most often denied it. I can't tell you how many times since 11/20/00 the offender has struck...but I know now, it ISN'T Chris. I'm beginning to see there were a lot of things he was blamed for that he DIDN'T do...since they continue to happen today. This was such an issue with me that I purchased individual bins in Sept. 2000 and wrote everyones name on the cover in black permanent marker. Each person was responsible for their own bin...taking it upstairs, emptying it and returning it to the laundry room. The new system was working GREAT until 11/20/00...Chris' bin is now in his closet. It contains momentos from his wake and funeral....his name is STILL on it in black permanent marker, and I'm back to a one laundry basket system....this has been a DRAINING week. Fran Kempa - Friday, May 03, 2002 at 23:42:45 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Friday, May 03, 2002 at 12:30:33 (MDT) 5/3/02...The art Adam calls TRI. But ONCE AGAIN, PLEASE, note the left eye. Malformed and useless....tell me that isn't some sort of an omen! The photo is another of the BOBBING HEAD BROTHERS! It was taken in August, 1984 in Buffalo in Bill and Grandma Joan's family room. We were in town for Chris' Baptism. Today Adam reminded me, "Spiderman comes out tomorrow!!" And I asked if he was going to go and he looked at me as though I was crazy ans said, "Well, yeah!" And all I could say in reply was, "And Chris would have been going too!" And we both just sighed a BIG sigh...I never really knew the true meaning of the word, SIGH until Chris was killed.....sometimes that's all you can do..when the tears for the day are exhausted, all you can do is sigh. Both Adam and Chris were avid comic book fans and each had QUITE a collection... So much so we used to joke that they could pay for college by selling their comics!! Adam fittingly inherited Chris' when he was kiled. Both boys were BIG fans for years. They watched the TV show years ago....I can't remember the channel...I think it was PBS...Can anyone help my memory?... But I remember the theme song.."Spider Man, where are you coming from Spider Man?....Nobody knows who you are!...." Or something like that. Tuesday I took Charlie to the groomer. It's an all day affair for a Cocker Spaniel. Before Chris was killed and both boys were in school all day and we had just one dog I used to call his grooming days, "Mother's day out!" But what really got me Tues. was Speck...he looked for Charlie all day...you could tell, for him, something wasn't right..Charlie was gone. This was the first time I took Charlie to the groomer alone. I used to take Speck too but recently figured I could have his nails cut at the vet for a lot less....Anyway...it reminded me of the way both Charlie and Felix reacted when Chris was killed. You could almost sense them searching for him and when they sat in front of his closed bedroom door you knew...they missed and wanted Chris just as we did! Animals are VERY sensative. You should have seen Speck when I brought Charlie home at 5:30....mutual GLEE!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 22:44:43 (MDT) WILL YOU KNOW ME? Will you know me When I get to your home? When I walk through the gates Will you call me your own? Will you say, "My brother!?" Or ,"Hi, what's your name?" Will I look different? Will you look the same? How will we act? Will it be like before? Will we laugh again.... til our sides are sore? Will the love be like it should between brothers? Or will it be as if We just met one another. When I get there we'll never be alone Will you know me When I get to your home? Will You know Me? - Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 18:57:20 (MDT) I saw a sad thing last night at the annual Balloon Launch at our Compassionate Friends meeting. It was the second most sad thing I saw that evening. After almost all of the people had filed out of the building with their balloons, two or three people exited the building. Each person had several ballons, they were carrying balloons for parents who could not be there but did not want their kids to be left out. The saddest thing that I saw that evening was Chris's name on three balloons. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Thursday, May 02, 2002 at 15:59:49 (MDT) 5/2/02....the art is the same TAXI as yesterday. The photo was taken in March of 1985 during a visit by Aunt Molly and Grandma Joan. Chris wasn't walking yet but he's bracing himself up on Grandma Joan's suitcase.....working on it! Tonight was the annual Balloon Launch at our Compassionate Friends meeting. I CAN'T BELIEVE it was our SECOND! Typically, it was very crowded, being one of the two most popular meetings....It kind of reminds me of Christmas / Easter Catholics. Many people don't attend the monthly meetings, but the Candle Lighting in December and the Balloon Launch in May are CROWDED!! Anyway......they had a bag piper this year. I've ALWAYS LOVED bagpipes! It reminded me of growing up in Buffalo and attending the St. Patrick's Day Parade every year for years and the bag pipes being my favorites...but tonight the lone piper sounded SO SAD! So many BOONS as Chris called them when he was a baby! We had been standing in the parking lot for about 5 mins. and people were STILL coming out. Adam said to me, "Wow, they're still coming!" and I said to him, "To me that's very SAD. That means there are A LOT of dead kids out there! By the time I let my balloon go, I was crying like a baby just as I was last year. Some how, for some reason, I thought this year would be different....but it wasn't. Mentioning Imus yesterday brought back another Chris memory. On my days off, I ALWAYS drove Chris to school (Except one...FATAL one!) And at that time I was working some 9 - 5:30 shifts so I drove him on those days too. On average, I drove him three days a week. We had this running thing going....what do we listen to on the radio on the way to school? I felt, since I was driving him and was curious to learn what had happened over night, I should be able to listen to Imus. Chris on the other hand, felt he should be able to listen to a music radio station of his choosing, or BETTER yet, a tape!! One day Chris came to me with a "compromise." He said, "Mom, I've figured it out. To be fair, from now on, I can listen to the radio or a tape on the way to school, and you can listen to Imus on the way home!" And I, knowing full well what he was pulling said, "WAIT A MINUTE!...how is that fair? I have to listen to what you want on the way to school, but on the way back, I'm by myself!!" And he gave me that gorgeous smile, and beautiful laugh and said, "YEAH, exactly my point!" Needless to say, after that compromise offer, Imus was listened to on the way HOME from school...yes I gave in! I always did to both the boys with in reason....I would have done ANYTHING for them.....even given MY life for Chris if I'd been given the choice! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 22:55:12 (MDT) Even tho i did not know him my heart feels pain for him and his family and friends. Know that he is still with you everyday and can still see and hear you. I'm so very sorry. May you find peace and happiness in this mysterious world. My love to all, danielle danielle coleman <Adrena25@aol.com> - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 21:18:15 (MDT) 5/1/02....Today is May Day, HURRAY!! I haven't said that much today. I said it to the dogs and to myself but I didn't say it to just about everyone I saw like I used to...It just doesn't mean nearly as much. The art is the one Adam calls TAXI that was shown to us at the balloon launch for Chris' BD last year by Lori B. The photo was taken Memorial weekend 1985. I can honestly say it's the only picture I can think of where Chris is crying in it. If you look, Adam is holding his pacifier...that may have contributed to his mood! Chandra Levy's parents were on Larry King Live last night. While I didn't watch it all, only caught bits and pieces, my heart had to go out to them. At least we know where Chris is and he is safe. This morning, Larry King was on Imus. He spoke about the Levy's and then mentioned Dr. Phil of Oprah fame had been a guest not too long ago. Larry said Dr. Phil stated, given his profession he considers himself mentally sound. Larry said the one thing Dr. Phil said would put him over the edge would be the loss of a child....that IS the hardest thing and he couldn't deal with it. Imus and Larry, both having young children agreed. Such a loss would be impossible to deal with and would do them both in. That's what I used to think, "If anything ever happens to one of my kids, I'd just die." But I didn't. Most days I feel I have and some days I wish I had but I didn't.... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, May 01, 2002 at 16:52:11 (MDT) It sure is nice to know we have someone to pray to in heaven. Thank you Chris..for listening to my many prayers over the past couple of weeks. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 18:17:22 (MDT) ..."You can't conceal your sadness when you lose a child...." Quote From George W. Bush - Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 12:33:25 (MDT) 4/30/02.....The art for some reason didn't come out and Adam isn't available to consult. The photo was taken in April 1986 during a neighborhood Easter egg hunt. He's holding an easter egg in his left hand...he was left handed, the only one of the four of us. I went to the Cemetary this morning shortly after it opened after I dropped Charlie off at the groomer. I was happy to see them doing their spring clean up and planting more trees. A lot of twigs and branches from the weeping willow above Chris' grave had fallen and they were gone today. June is going to be a VERY, VERY hard month. The 6th is Senior prom, the 10th, Chris' 18th birthday and the 12th Graduation. Needless to say I will be on vacation during this time. I told my co workers I would be of NO use to them that week and they agreed. The sixth Sense was on TV Sun. night. Even though I thought it was one of the best movies I'd ever seen, I couldn't watch it Sun. When it came out in the summer of 1999, Adam W., Chris and I went to see it together. They liked it too. Chris and I saw it again. It's so strange looking back, given the subject of the movie and our current situation. I don't usually read the Sunday comics but I found the one Cathy refered to. To expand that theory a little more, I think there's a Chris shaped hole in the universe.!!!!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 09:21:00 (MDT) Ah, but Chris WILL be walking with the Class of 2002 on Graduation Day. Just look around you, he will be everywhere. His presence and spirit will be shining on everyone. No way would he miss that Day. Many blessings to the Class of 2002 and the Kempa Family. MCS - Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 08:13:06 (MDT) the song is called "I wish" by R Kelly Dawn Balint <RdoggO69@cs.com> - Tuesday, April 30, 2002 at 05:05:16 (MDT) wow we have like one month till graduation, its really a tragedy that you wont be able to walk with the class of 2002 you deserved it more than anybody i miss you soo much buddy oh yeah, i heard this song it made me think ...... "i wish that i could hold you now i wish that i could touch you know i wish that i could talk to you be with you somehow,but somehow i know youre in a better place even though i cant see your face i know youre smiling down on me thinkin everythings ok" we miss you buddy woody - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 19:27:46 (MDT) I'm gonna need a little help here kiddo...pull some strings up there =w= <-> - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 15:38:30 (MDT) 4/29/02....The art Adam calls SKULL. It is one of Cori's favorites. She requested and got a copy if it. The photo is the repeat for some reason of Adam and Chris in 1986 in the back yard on Auburndale. After intending to for many months now, We finally contacted Richard Kent form the neighborhood association. We wanted to check on the tree that was to be planted last Fall in Mies Park. It is planted and is a red maple after all! They were going to go with a red oak because the red maples were in such high demand. He said they would also like to do a plaque as soon as we figure out what to put on it. I was very happy to hear that. Yesterday I called home from work and got the machine. I usually hang up but yesterday I listened to the message and sure enough it still says "For Chris press star three" I had asked Adam Wm. months ago if he planned on changing it since he really is the only one who knows how. It was very clear at that time he was not ready to erase his brother any more. Not having him was enough, he like me had and has to hang on to little remnents. I haven't asked him in a long time, maybe he's ready now. That is something else I'll never forget about 11/20/00 when we came home from the hospital. In addition to seeing the laundry on top of the dryer, the answering machine was beeping and Chris' mail box was lit up. Some time between the time we left, and the time we returned, one of his young co workers had called asking him to trade a shift with her....again SO strange...how can he have a message but be gone...MAYBE it was a mistake! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 29, 2002 at 11:47:15 (MDT) Today's Detroit News comics has a Rose is Rose cartoon that is very touching. The last panel tells it all. I am sorry that so many people out there have a Chris-shaped hole in their hearts. Unfair!!! Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 13:23:39 (MDT) 4/28/02.....Same SMALL drawing as yesterday. In person you can see it says, "Small Talk."....once again, I have no idea of the why or when...just WISH I did! The photo was Chris' First Grade picture taken in Sept., 1990. He was six years old and SOOOOO cute!! His First Grade teacher, Ms. Scharbach, (also Adam's) had the kids make up a little rhyme about each one in the class. At the end of the school year, Grant Elementry published a collection of works, one thing from each grade and teacher. For Ms. Scharbach's class of '91, these rhymes were published. Even WAY back then Chris was making a name for himself as an artist....his rhyme was this..."Chris Kempa can REALLY draw, the BEST pictures you ever saw!" And it was true....even WAY back then..... We made nachos tonight for a snack....simple ones, just chips and cheese...and they filled my mind with memories of Chris! He made the BEST chip and cheese nachos...2 layers! He had perfected them to the exact amount of seconds to microwave them! He even grated the cheese! I know Adam won't mind me saying this, but Chris was FAR more domesticated! At 16, Chris was very comfortable with the microwave, regular oven, washer and dryer....he even ran the vaccum once in a while because he thought it was "FUN." He was our snow shoveler, lawn cutter and leaf helper. At 22 Adam is just now perfecting the microwave and oven. The washer and dryer are stil a mystery. He'll vaccum his space in the basement. One of the first things I noticed when we came home from the ER 11/20/00, was a load of wet laundry sitting on top of the dryer. I will often leave wet clothes in the dryer with a dryer sheet ready to run in the morning and a load of washed clothes in the washer. One of the last things Chris ever did in his life here on earth was take the wet clothes from the dryer and set them on top, then take his new jeans out of the washer and dry them. It was SO STRANGE to see those clothes still sitting there so soon after him tending to them and so soon after being told he was GONE....VERY hard to explain.....VERY hard to take! Thank you Colleen and Caleb for remembering Chris last night...you are both right...he so LOVED the cottage and the beach..he even loved the rocks! One of the last things he gave his Dad were some rocks he had gathered in Munising that August at Casey's cottage. One year at the cottage...I can't remember which one, he found a rock PERFECTLY shaped like a heart and he gave it to me! I had lost track of it before he was killed but found it after he was killed and keep it close now! Yes Colleen, Chris liked your rock! Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 22:41:09 (MDT) Do not cry I did not die. My time just came to part. But I will always be close to your heart. I am resting in a peaceful place, If you see me now, I wear a happy face. God gives me a lot of care and love, I am here in Heaven above. So do not cry because I didn't die. Keep me alive in your heart Because from there I'll never part. When I died I kept on living I'm your angel up in Heaven. you'll always have my love seeing you through, remember, I love all of you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 20:09:08 (MDT) Yesterday Caleb, Drew, and I went to the cottage on Lake Huron. One that I know Chris loved. We were freezing by the water but decided to go down to the water and look around. I found a round peach and very smooth rock that I really liked for some reason. I put in my pocket and then later on put it in my purse. After our relaxing day and after we drove Drew home I suggested stopping at the memorial to light the candles and it was a GREAT idea because no one had lit them and it was 10:30pm. I then remembered the smooth peach rock I had found 12 hours before and knew that Chris really would have liked it. I know he loved the cottage and decided to put at the memorial. I placed it on the hard cold soil at that corner...And I know Chris liked it. Colleen Marie - Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 10:48:49 (MDT) This morning on my way to work I stepped on my breaks and they felt like I had stepped in wet mud. Thanks MIDAS for the break job! I was able to stop the car by putting it in neutral, and use what was left of the breaks. I continued straight to Midas who had repaired my breaks a few days before. I left the car there and found out at the end of the day that a rear brake line had "come loose". Due to Luck, no one was hurt. However, it did push my morinig back a few hours. I had hoped to attend the Churchill CAPA (Creative and Performing Arts) Senior Gallery Friday night. I didn't finish my work until 7:15 in the evening. As a result I missed Kristin Ogden's dance in memory of Chris. Scott Allen had written the song that Kristin danced to. Thanks guys, I'm sorry I missed it. DAD Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 00:22:39 (MDT) 4/27/02...The art is one Adam W. fittingly calls SMALL. It's ink on paper. Knowing well how Chris worked, a drawing like this, without much detail, he was able to do in a matter of minutes. I'm not sure of the when or why. The photo was taken is the summer of 1987 during a trip to Buffalo at the Marina. I attended the Churchill CAPA (Creative and Performing Arts) Senior Gallery along with Brad and Claudia Allen Friday night. Kristin Ogden's dance in memory of Chris was beautiful! She danced to a song written and sung on tape by Scott Allen titled, "Recapturing His Independance." In the song Scott tried to imagine what Chris would say to us, his family to comfort us. It was very beautiful...I'd like to get the words. Kristin was featured in many performances. This was the first time I'd ever seen her dance...WOW! It's amazing to me but true. ALL the kids both my boys ever were friends with had an EXCEPTIONAL talent of one kind or another....some have multiple! One of the girls dedicated her dance tonight to Anna Bonde. I didn't notice yesterday but Renee Ogden mentioned tonight there was a write up about the show in Thursday's Observer. It mentions in detail Kristin's dedication to Chris....Thank you again Kristin for remembering Chris. You have NO IDEA how much that means to me! I would also like to give a special thank you to Jan Leach from Emerson Middle School. I must admit, when I got the mail Friday and saw the envelope with Emerson's return address, I couldn't imagine what it contained. I was so happy to find a picture of Chris and Scott from a 1997 or 98 roller skating party. There are three other boys in the picture, none of whom I recognize. She enclosed a lovely note and sent a copy of the picture to Scott too. It was such a wonderful, thoughtful gift to receive after a few BAD Chris days this week! I plan to thank her VERY much! Fran Kempa - Friday, April 26, 2002 at 22:58:16 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Friday, April 26, 2002 at 12:14:31 (MDT) 4/26/02....The art is the same Sound Of Music program from yesterday. The photo was taken in Dec. 1985, 18 months old....kind of cute, kind of pouty... I was very happy to learn the Bonde family has successfully established a scholarship fund in memory of Anna at Churchill High School. The last time I spoke to her Mom, she said they were having trouble getting it going for various reasons. We received our invitation to Franklin's Honors Night today. It will be held on May 30th. It's VERY hard to believe it will be the second time the Chris Kempa Memorial Scholarship will be awarded. This will be the HARDEST year. I honestly believe Chris would have been on that stage accepting, not necessarily a scholarship, but some recognition for his artistic talents. Looking forward to Kristin Ogden's dance and tribute to Chris tomorrow night at Churchill. Fran Kempa - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 22:21:41 (MDT) I remember Chris walking up to me during a rehearsal of "The Sound of Music" to ask if he could try to sketch something for the t-shirt design. I said, "So, you are an artist, huh? Sure Chris!" He asked what I wanted and I told him I was thinking about some hills and maybe a drawing of Maria and her guitar...to represent the whole "hills are alive" segment! He brought back the sketch a couple of days later and we used it for the T-shirt and program logo! He was really proud, as was I! Thank you for putting the program on the site today...that memory made me sad and made me smile at the same time. As a teacher, you are never sure when a small moment will become so poignant...this was one such moment. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Ms. Hillman - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 19:31:35 (MDT) He Is Gone The air that I breathe is no longer blessed With the magic of his sweet breath. His eyes that sparkled and danced and shone, Are closed in the stillness of death. The earth he once walked is not quite as rich, He took with him treasures untold, And arms that once cradled and loved him so much, Are empty without him to hold. For a child with the promise of plenty of time, There were dreams of a future so bright, But the sands fell too fast and the daytime of joy, Turned soon to the darkness of night. His dreams became ashes, born to the wind, Of the storm that stole him one day, And the spark of life he once held so dear, Was swiftly taken away. But the heart that he left me, though battered and worn, Is lighted with thoughts of him And memories are a beacon of light, When the joy in my heart becomes dim. I know he is safe, and I know he is well And he cannot be touched by pain, And there's sweetness in knowing my arms will be filled, And I'll hold him and touch him again. For I know where he is and I know that he waits With a hug and a smile and kiss And the place where he is is far gentler with him It's a world that's much better than this. But our earth is much sweeter because he was here And in the nights of sorrow and tears, I am grateful because he was my boy, And I had him for sixteen short years. Author Unknown - Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 18:26:05 (MDT) 4/25/02....The art is the cover he did for the spring musical 1999, SOUND OF MUSIC, Freshman year. Once again, in person, the detail is amazing! The photo was taken in April, 1993, third grade. The class did an evening special event for EARTH DAY..thus the tree! Today was care confrence day at work....Wednesday is always care confrence day. The MDS nurse and restorative nurses were gathering updated info on residents from the charge nurses. They rarely, if ever work the floor so they aren't always up on current developments. They were asking the questions and I was giving them the answers. At one point the MDS nurse said, "Wow!, Fran has ALL the answers this morning!" All I could say in reply to her was, "You have NO IDEA how I wish that was true!" I don't think she had a clue what I meant since she has only been with us a few months. And unless someone else has told her, she has NO idea...everyone else knew exactly what I meant. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 22:22:40 (MDT) today's picture is TOO CUTE!! XOXO - Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 21:06:56 (MDT) Hey, Chris You probably don't know me. You don't even know I exist. I am one of Virginia's best friends. I heard the tragic news of you when I came to school on that horrible day in November. Virginia was crying and she told the shocking story of what happened to you. I would not wish the event that happened to you on my worst enemy. I am very sorry about everything that happened. Virginia always talked about you, showed me pictures of you and your art work. I wish I could have known you. I have heard so many good things about you from Virginia and what people have said in your guestbook. God bless you Chris! I know you have gone on to a better place! Luv Ya!! Natalie Laski <laski44@msn.com> - Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 16:29:51 (MDT) just wanted to say I was thinkin about ya... - <-> - Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 08:37:21 (MDT) 4/24/02....the art is the same TIME as yesterday. The photo is another I LOVE and remember SO VIVIDLY! It was taken in Aug. 1984. We were leaving for Buffalo that day for Chris' Baptism. Just before taking this one, and a few other photos, I had Adam Wm. LAUGHING! I had reclined all the way back in a Lazy Boy and was holding Chris on my stomach/chest. He couldn't hold his head up yet but kept TRYING and it was a funny site!... His head bobbed! The more he tried, the more it bobbed....then Adam started copying him for fun and bobbing his head on purpose....I said, "You two could be in a show, we'd call it, THE BOBBING HEAD BROTHERS!" And Adam laughed! He STILL remembers THE BOBBING HEAD BROTHERS to this day!! When I snapped this picture, it's almost as though I said, "Now both of you make a funny face!"...but I didn't ....That's why I love this photo so much..it's real. Dominick Dunne was on Larry King Live tonight. The author and contributor to Vanity Fair Magazine. I've always been a fan and have read many of his books. I'll NEVER forget the look on his face in the court room when the OJ verdict was announced! His daughter was killed years ago. I've always respected him.....WAY before Chris was killed, for always telling her story, and to this day, continuning to do so. That is my, OUR goal. To some day, and ALWAYS tell Chris' WHOLE story....that day will be SOON I hope! We had to select the railing system for our new entry way staircase today....I am NOT good at such things....I have trouble trying to imagine how things will be when they are completed....that's why I KNOW, Chris' artistic talent DID NOT come from me! How I WISHED Chris had been with us! We had to choose Newels and half Newels, and balusters and handrails....VERY hard! A lot of things come into play...dimension and proportion and as they say in the trade, ""correspondants!" I have NO idea what our choices will look like all put together! I just HOPE Chris had a hand in guiding our choices and they will look fine! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 22:44:35 (MDT) Chris: I need you to pull some strings for me up there. I am sure you know why. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Tuesday, April 23, 2002 at 19:05:51 (MDT) 4/23/02....This art Adam calls TIME. I believe it's ink and marker on paper. The photo I LOVE! I always have...even before he was killed. It was taken in 1986. Adam was 6, Chris was 2. It's the photo I wrote about on 2/11/02....when Chris climbed out of his crib and put all the little stickers with insurance sayings on them from the promotional Rubick's cube all over Adam's glasses and mouth while he slept and he never woke up!...You can see the remnents of the cube on his blanket. I HONESTLY remember that night VIVIDLY! I remember going into Adam's room and being startled at first, trying to figure out what happened....then LAUGHING, realizing Chris had to have had a hand in this, going into Chris' room, seeing him sitting in his crib, SMILING and then INSISTING we get the camera to capture the act....TRULY, a Kodak moment! He was SO funny...not a day went by that he didn't make me laugh!... from the time he was a baby until the night before he was killed...you can't BEGIN to imagine how MUCH I MISS him!...and as time goes on, in some ways, it gets worse, not better. Fran Kempa - Monday, April 22, 2002 at 22:39:39 (MDT) ....As long as I live I will remember you, and you will not be gone!.... M. H. - Monday, April 22, 2002 at 18:03:52 (MDT) 4/22/02...The art is the ink and water color Adam calls TREE GUY. Another one of my favorites. In this one as in many, the detail is AMAZING! The photo is one Chris took of his cat Felix, in his bedroom on his bed. That's his Buffalo Bills pillow case in the back ground. I believe he took it in 1998.....BAD Chris day!! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 22, 2002 at 13:46:52 (MDT) Friends may think we have forgotten, When at times they see us smile. Little do they know the heartache, That our smiles hold all the while. Beautiful memories are wonderful things, That last til the longest day, They never wear out, They never get lost and, Can never be given away. To some you may be forgotten, To others a part of the past But to those who love And lost you.... Your memory will ALWAYS last. AUTHOR UNKNOWN - Sunday, April 21, 2002 at 11:09:22 (MDT) 4/21/02...The same Indian art as yesterday from 1995. The photo was taken in April 1986 in our back yard on Auburndale. We had a HUGE forsythia that took up a big part of the yard. Our forsythias have just about finished blooming this year. They didn't last long.... I think it was because of the heat. Chris looks JUST like me as a baby in this picture! Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 23:50:38 (MDT) As I sit here and stare into space, I know I'm hunting for your face. My heart forgets to beat, As I listen for the sound of your feet. But it never comes, it never comes. I stand in the hall and look toward your room, hoping to see you come out soon. I listen for the ring of the phone, And your voice saying, "Yes, I'm home!" But it never comes, it never comes. I go outside and look for your car coming down the street, I think maybe I'll hear the horn beep. I listen for the door to slam, and you to say, "Mom, here I am." But you never come, you never come. I go to the cemetary and sit by your grave I try very hard to pray. I beg Him to turn back time, If a life has to end, let it be mine. But the answer I want never comes, it never comes. People ask, "How are you today?" I lie and say, "I'm OK" Truthfully, "OK" I'll never be, Without you sadly, OK, it never comes, it never comes. NEVER COMES - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 20:44:18 (MDT) sometimes when i look in moriahs eyes, i see chris. marley <emoispoison@yahoo.com> - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 16:51:28 (MDT) The show last night was great! It was nice to see you Fran and to meet Scott's parents. What a talented bunch of kid's. Chris included. Sharon Smith <Ssmith@flintink.com> - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 15:02:04 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 12:28:30 (MDT) 4/20/02....The art is the Indian Chris drew for a class project in 1995, end of fifth grade. The photo was taken in Oct. 2000, Chris took it of himself. As you can see in the photo, his left arm is extended above his head as he takes his own picture. He took a whole roll of himself....another thing that I think is so weird. I don't know anyone else, alive or dead who has taken a whole role of film of himself....actually two, he did a Polaroid roll and a regular roll. One more thing that makes me wonder...in a way..did he know? The Talent Show last night was awesome as usual. Certain acts REALLY got to me. To see Cori, Scott and Caleb on stage together was hard...I enjoyed it but it was hard. And can Cori sing!...as well as Scott and Colleen...and you should hear Caleb play piano! I heard one man, a stranger, say to him after the first show, "I've never heard LET IT BE sound SO good on a piano...keep up the good work." And he shook his hand. The second last act in both shows was a Gospel song called MY CHILD IS GOING HOME....about a child going to Heaven....that one REALLY got me...more so during the second show, I don't know why. After the second show Colleen came up to me in the hall and said, "Are you OK?, you look upset." I explained to her about the song. She then said, "you look sad, but happy." And I said, "EXACTLY, you understand to some degree!" Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 20, 2002 at 00:10:59 (MDT) Yesterday afternoon while sitting at the computer in my office, a visiting "artist in residence" to our school system popped into my open door and admired my few but treasured prints of Chris Kempa art. "Whose art is this?", he asked...."They were done by my nephew.", I replied, but before I could finish the rest of the "CHRIS STORY", he began to ooooohhh and ahhhhh so much that I waited till he was finished to tell him the rest of the story. He asked for the name for the website when I told him. I could tell he was touched. Aunt Kathy - Friday, April 19, 2002 at 05:26:24 (MDT) 4/19/02....same Ben Franklin from 2000 as yesterday. The photo was taken in April, 1985, Easter morning. Notice the bunny on Adam's lap! This 9/11 tape was so much in the news today....Brought me right back to the 911 tape from 11/20/00...and listening to it for the first time...as they described on the news about the 9/11 tape...HORRIBLE...heart wrenching. Looking forward to the talent show tonight! Many of Chris' dear friends are featured! Fran Kempa - Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 23:01:37 (MDT) I hope this is what I think it is To make sure Im at the right Email Chis are you a Merch #3 If so tell me this. What dose a duckhave to do with a prank phone call Chris M@Yahoo.com < Chis M@Yahoo.comI > - Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 17:56:05 (MDT) i think about how much i miss him and start to feel so sad. but then i think about all the people who never got to know him...and NEVER will, and i start to feel sad for them. this loss will never leave me. xoxoxo - Thursday, April 18, 2002 at 16:01:34 (MDT) 4/18/02.....The art is the beautiful Ben Franklin from the Career Center, done shortly before he was killed. Like so many, the digital picture doesn't do it justice.....the DETAIL is AMAZING! The photo was taken in April 1986. I never had either Adam or Chris' hair cut before they were two. I LOVED long hair on babies and the curls were darling!....Once they had their hair cut, the curls disappeard! Yesterday was the easiest jury duty I ever had. When I arrived at the Coleman Young Municipal Bldg., we were told there were only two cases pending that day. I sat and read my books having already mentally devoted a day in my life to jury duty. At 11'00 we were told the first case had settled prior to jury selection, in the second case, the defendant failed to show up....so we were all excused and thanked for our service....I never even made it to a court room to deliver my speech! Tonight I was shopping in a local department store. I was in the fitting room trying on clothes when I heard something that REALLY got me. In the cubicle next to me was a mother and small boy. I'm basing this on their voices, not visuals. The little boy all of a sudden said, "MaMa, I have a question for you MaMa!" He said this about four times and the mother FINALLY asked, "WHAT?" He then said, "Is it Thursday, Friday or Saturday?" All I could imagine was Chris asking me the same thing but his question not so simple or easy to answer. I could hear him say," Mom, I have a question for you Mom, WHY was I taken?, WHY did I have to be Killed??" And I lost it.....Once again, you NEVER know what or why something will set you off. I then imagined telling him, "I still don't know the deeper, Heavenly "WHY?" But as the cast of characters grows, we know ALL TOO WELL the earthly why." Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 23:27:04 (MDT) Why must I grieve silently When my heart is so loud and screaming? The emptiness I feel is consuming me Oh God, how I wish I were dreaming. The silence around me is deafening For nobody knows what to say, To comfort this agony I'm feeling Since my son went away. And each day the sun continues to rise, And the earth is still turning, Though my world hs come to a sudden halt no one can ease my yearning. For a part of me has vanished, And a part of my heart has died And no one can hear my heartache Or feel the turmoil I carry inside. And I'll go on grieving silently, And exist on a different plane And I'll keep my love for him deep in my heart Until we see ech other again. Author unknown - Wednesday, April 17, 2002 at 15:06:21 (MDT) 4/17/02....Same photo as yesterday. The photo was taken in April 1988 in his big brother's room. He LOVED Adam's room and all it had in it. That was a habit he never broke....going through his brother's stuff. For the longest time on both Auburndale and Berwick, we had to put a lock on Adam's door. Even then, he managed to get in often! We went to Caleb's birthday party last night..fun!! Jury duty today. I'm quite sure I'll be excused this time since so many of my opinions about certain people and things have changed SO DRASTICLY since 11/20/00. I have NO RESPECT for certain groups of people and I now KNOW many people in different roles DO LIE under oath...BIG TIME! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 22:10:43 (MDT) I was so sick this afternoon from a disgusting form of slime. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 14:00:59 (MDT) 4/16/02....The art is the photo of Chris working on his MIRRORS drawing in Sophomore year, '99-'00. This is the picture that was in the year book. The photo was taken in April 1994. Chris and Charlie....both in better, happier times. A VERY HAPPY Birthday to both Caleb Deady and Speck Kempa!! Caleb is 18 and Speck is 1! If Chris was still here, I know they'd be celebrating such a landmark Birthday with a bunch of other beautiful kids! Some way, some how, I KNOW Chris is with Caleb today...I can't say he's with Speck....he didn't even know him....but he would have LOVED him!! I had the pleasure of a visit from Kristin Ogden last evening. Seems she's dedicating her last dance recital as a Senior at Churchill to Chris and asked me for permission and invited me to attend. I told her we, (Chris and I) would both be honored and she couldn't keep me away! I also had the pleasure of driving Caleb to Scott's last evening for talent show practice. It was good and bad at the same time.....Good to spend a few minutes with, and talk to Caleb....Bad because I was driving one best friend, over to see another best friend, to practice for an event I know Chris would have tried his BEST to be in! And while I enjoyed my few minutes with Caleb.....it made me miss my Chris SO MUCH!! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 23:13:07 (MDT) 4/15/02....Tax day. Brings my memory back to early November 2000. Chris had just deposited his 1999 refund checks into his savings account about 2 weeks before he was killed. He had hung on to them because he knew if he cashed them he would spend them...he was saving for a VERY complicated to me, but not him, video camera...he had just about reached his goal! The painting is the same CIGAR as yesterday. The photo was taken in early April 1992...moving day night...our first night in the new house..he was SO EXCITED! He and Charlie fell asleep on our bed. That's a Hills Brother's coffee can next to him. We used to save pennies in it. I bet he was counting them before he fell asleep. 10 years ago! Charlie is aging fast these days as he is 6 months away from 13. In a way, he's been living on borrowed time for two years now. The event that I USED to think would be so DEVASTATING a few years ago...Charlie's death, I'm sorry to say will not be as hard to take as I once thought. I do believe he will be joining Chris soon....and I DO believe dogs go to heaven and Chris will be so happy to see his beloved dog brother again. I wasn't able to get any answers from Gift Of Life today. By the time I got home from work, there was only a receptionest available, not a representative....I intend to keep trying as time permits. We have a marathon of meetings and I have jury duty this week but I WILL keep at it. Today as I was driving home from work another driver INFURIATED ME!! I was stopped at the red ligrt at Lilley and Plymouth waiting to make a right turn. Across Plymouth you could easily see a group of school kids waiting to cross. As soon as the light turned green for me, the light on Plymouth turned red to let the kids cross...And I did! They had stepped out into the street and I waited. The driver behind me (just happened to be a white pick up...GMC, not a Ranger) LEANED on his horn for about a minute. I didn't budge and looked at him in the rear view mirror trying very hard to determine whether or not he was demented in some way. I also had some choice words for him which he could not hear but I know Chris was proud!! Moriah honey, I am SO HYAPPY to hear you have another picture of Chris! I'm glad to STILL be getting things of Chris. I know there's a lot of pictures and video out there I still haven't seen...But when I do finally see them it will be like a gift! Call me or E mail me and we can set something up....It's always a pleasure to see you! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 19:39:31 (MDT) Mrs. Kempa~~~ I have a good picture of chris that i have had for a while, i didnt give it to you before because.... ....i dont know why but i didnt and now i want to. I will try stopping by sometime this week to give it to you, i will also call before i bring it over. Im sorry again for keeping it to myself. Love in Christ---->>moriah Punk <Rocker> - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 17:06:32 (MDT) Thanks Mom for your decision, I'm really proud of you. For you did something wonderful, You knew I'd want you to. We came to earth to show love, And to give as much as we can, You made the decision to give part of me, Knowing I'd help my fellow man. I know that there's still sadness, And you really miss seeing me, Know I'm ALWAYS with you, Just not physically. Mom, where I am is so wonderful, It's beautiful and I don't care, Remember, don't take your organs and tissue to heaven, Cause we don't need them there! THE DECISION <AUTHOR UNKNOWN> - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 15:03:46 (MDT) I am sorry I missed that episode of 60 Minutes. Very disturbing news for sure. Both daughter and I know each others feelings on Organ Donations and giving the The Gift Of Life. I hope you can get some good answers from the Gift of Life Organization and will pass it along here. I am stunned and shocked that maybe what is being said about Organ Donations is not ringing true. Are they instead using these donations for some kind of research? I don't mind a research aspect if no one is in need of what I have to give and the research had best better be for good purposes to advance in medical science for the health and well being of all. MCS - Monday, April 15, 2002 at 14:02:51 (MDT) 4/14/02...the random art is the painting Adam calls CIGAR...still no phones, of the 7,500 customers involved, we're among the last 100 to receive phone service...MAYBE Tues.! Adam has not been able to update, maybe tomorrow from WSU. I saw a VERY upsetting story on 60 Minutes tonight about skin and bone donations. Since Chris was killed instantly, we were unable to donate any vital organs because he had been without circulation for more than 20 minutes by the time he reached the hospital. That was VERY upsetting to me at the time. Since I had had no experience with organ donation in the past...thank God, I was not aware of all the factors that come into play but it makes perfect sense....I wasn't really thinking rationally at the time either. We were told we could still donate his skin, bones, and eyes and we readily agreed. I had always told the boys how important organ donation was and stressed the fact that I wanted to be an organ donor. I never really asked them how they felt about it for themselves...NEVER dreaming it would even be a consideration. But being the kind of kid Chris was, I know he's very happy we did....Anyway...This story told of how these donations aren't being used for what they're said purpose is...skin for burn victims bones for grafting purposes etc. Apparently many donations are being sold for a variety of different things..not at all what is portrayed.....I'm calling Gift Of Life tomorrow to find out more on the subject. Fran Kempa - Sunday, April 14, 2002 at 19:10:52 (MDT) 4/13/02...The photo is the same digital as yesterday. We still have no phone, therefore, no internet service. I'm just updating here and there between Kinko's and Allen's. Adam obviously was not able to access a computer today, tomorrow will be more of the same I suspect. A new random art, but no photo. We had the whole month of April planned for both art and photos...thank you Detroit Edison and Ameritech. Cathy, there isn't one story in particular regarding the library art show. He was always exhibited and we always attended..usually just the two of us. What I remember most about the last show, Sophomore year, April 2000, was how proud and excited he was for his friends. I was admiring his works and he almost dragged me away saying, "come on Mom, you HAVE to see what my friends, Lauren and John Hicks have done.....they are SO GOOD! And they were! He spent more time admiring their works than his own! I forced myself to rake today after work...a chore I could have easily skipped. But that's all it would take, one season, and the grounds would be destroyed. I know Chris would HATE that. He would be most unhappy with me...he SO LOVED our house and yards. So I forced myself. I took my own advice, the same advice I often gave the boys when they were stalling on a project or chore. I thought of the NIKE motto, JUST DO IT, and did it. I had help from Mr. Kempa...a first! Last spring as I raked, I kept uncovering remnents of Chris. A few coins, some Jones bottle caps, a skateboard wheel, some pop cans and the gravel from the fish tank he dumped behind the garage!...etc. At the time they made me feel SO sad but also happy in a way. They were proof he was here, proof he existed! This year as I raked, there were no Chris remnents. That made me SO sad, even sadder when I realized that was proof he DID not exist last year...he was already long gone....SO SAD!!... Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 19:52:12 (MDT) Just wondering with the Fine Arts Festival at the Civic library again, any Chris stories there that you could share. Also nice to see that Emerson students took first place in three out of four categories in the Reflections in middle school division. Not bad for "our" side of Livonia. Good to see Chris shining through in your stories mom. Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Saturday, April 13, 2002 at 15:40:36 (MDT) 4/12/02...The art is the digital picture Chris took of himself in 2000 with the art room camera. The photo is another taken 3/23 after the play. That's Angie Hillman and Scott Allen. Thank you Kurt for your entry. I haven't seen you since the balloon launch but I've seen you on video! It's been a week now...Does anyone know who left me the beautiful gift? Fran Kempa - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 15:24:16 (MDT) The truth will come out! Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 14:49:44 (MDT) This was a song lerics me and chris listened to and liked... i have memory and awareness, yet i have no shape or form as a disembodied spirit, i am dead and yet unborn i have passed into olympus as was told by tails of old to this city of immortals marble whith and purest gold i see the gods at battle rage on high,thunderbolts across the sky, i can not move I can not hide, I feel a silent scream begin inside. but all at once the war decesed a somber cry of silent peace the warlord heard my silent cry and state their struggle mystified apollo was astounded dionysis thought me mad but they heard my story further and they wondered and were sad looking down from olympus on the world of doubt and fear the surface splintered into sorry hemispheres they stood a while in silence but then at last they turned to me "we will call you Cygnus the god of balance you shall be" we can walk our roads together if our goals are all the same we can run alone and free if we persue a different aim let the truth of love be lighted let the love of truth shine clear sensiblity on with sense and liberty with yhe hearts and mind united in a single perfect sphere me and Chris listen to this song over and over again trying to figure out what it meant we know that apollo is the god of wisdom and dionysis is the god of love and that they battled to see which was stronger... the heart or the mind.what do you think?? Kurt Wilson - Friday, April 12, 2002 at 12:02:02 (MDT) 4/11/02....The art is the same beautiful BLACK as yesterday. The photo is another great one taken 3/23 after the play. That's Cori Smith, Angie Hillman and Scott Allen....Looking forward to the talent show. That would have been one of the last things Chris would have participated in at Franklin....but there's still The Player Banquet, Honors Night, The Prom, Graduation and his birthday to get through in the next two months. Each event would have been SO MUCH more exciting if he was still here! They're more like days I'm dreading and have to get threough rather than days I'm so looking forward to and want to savor EVERY moment of...but they are days that can't be ignored..... Fran Kempa - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 19:32:09 (MDT) Today was a sunny day and as I drove in to Detroit I was listening to IMUS. I usually enjoy his show...he often has little music clips distributed in his show. After a segment today his musical clip was part of the song "Teen Angel". Just the words repeated in three part harmony twice. From there the radio show moved on to another segment, and I moved back to the morning of Noveber 20 th, 2000. Instead of the sunny day I was caught in the memory of the emergency room at St. Mary's Hospital. Miss you always, Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Thursday, April 11, 2002 at 11:43:11 (MDT) 4/10/02....The art is the "more beautiful in preson" work Adam calls BLACK. It's another we had never seen until long after he was killed. The photo is another taken 3/23/02 after the play. That's Cori Smith and Scott Allen. We are without phones again for the second time in less than three months. Seems Detroit Edison cut through SIX Ameritech cables. Didn't they have to call Miss Dig?...We even had to when we installed the plaque at the corner. It looks like an Ameritech convention at the corner of Plymouth and Merriman. 14 trucks were there when we passed by this evening. As I was literally going out the door last month, on my way to the airport, a screw fell out of my prescription sunglasses. Just last Saturday, I took them back to the Optical company for repair which jarred another Chris memory as his last pair waas made there too. In October, 2000, Chris fell asleep with his glasses on. He slept with them on ALL night! Since they were very thin wire frames, they were rather bent to say the least. We are all on an every two year eye exam, new glasses schedule. He wasn't due for new ones until June, 2001. I told him we'd take them back to the Optical Co. and see what they could do and we did. The woman really did a wonderful job considering what she was given to work with. I will NEVER forget , on my way out the door, saying to him very convincingly, "you know Chris, I just have a feeling these glasses will never last until June." I had NO CLUE, less than two months later those glasses would tangle with a Ford Ranger and like EVERYTHING else, the outcome would be so devastating! They predict the phones will be out until at least Sunday. I'll have to up date here and there when I can. I wasn't on line at all yesterday for the first time in years..even before Chris was killed! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 19:15:04 (MDT) Kim, Were you not taught good manners and respect? MCS - Wednesday, April 10, 2002 at 07:28:01 (MDT) mrs. kempa, it's not what would have been its what SHOULD have been. had it not been for one driver that day it could have been. we'd be graduating soon! missing chris - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 13:38:32 (MDT) Listen Kim.. who the hell are you calling queer bastard? If your going to talk like that get the hell out of here, we don't need your comments here. Dawn <RdoggO69@cs.com> - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 04:33:27 (MDT) you queer bastard kim <cyber_kitten289> - Tuesday, April 09, 2002 at 01:39:13 (MDT) 4/9/02....The art is the bicycle still life from Sophomore year 2000. Pencil on paper, one of Chris' best mediums...I think that's the correct artsy term. The photo I love. It is yet another taken 3/23/02 after the play. That's Colleen, Scott and Caleb. Somehow, my minds eye can picture Chris right in between Scott and Caleb...and that's the way it "would have been"..." I spent some time yesterday visiting other Memorial web sites of children. There must be THOUSANDS out there...I had NO IDEA such sites existed until after Chris was killed. I guess you don't research a subject until you have a need. One of the sites I visited was Kelsey Johnson's 11/27/92 - 5/4/00. While I visited many, her's was the only one that compelled me to contact her Mom. Kelsey was hit by a van and killed instantly in front of her own home. What REALLY got me was the fact that according to the counter on the web page, it opened on NOV. 20TH 2000! I just had to write! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 23:07:58 (MDT) Hello Fran, Thank you so much for sharing your son with me. It is always our hope that we can share them with one more person, that one more person would have the privlidge to know them the way we loved them. Thanks so much for e-mailing me and letting me know you visited with my Kelsey. It brightens your day just a little to know someone else met them and to know others are still journeying down the same path with you! Please know your son brought a smile to my face, and that what we chose to do with what we learn from our paths can make a world of difference in someone else's life starting there journey. To God Be the Glory, Trina Kelsey's Mom(Trina) <myangelkelsey@aol.com> - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 17:28:57 (MDT) To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die. XOXO - Monday, April 08, 2002 at 15:32:34 (MDT) 4/8/02...Same deformed left eye drawing as yesterday. The photo is another taken 3/23/02 after the play. That's Colleen Baidoon as Sandy and Scott Allen as Danny. Both perfectly cast in their roles! I went to the cemetary yesterday. I was happy to see the flowers Cori and I brought Wed. were still there. Back to school today! I imagine Chris would have returned from his spring break yesterday...where ever he decided to go...How I WISH I had spent last evening hearing him tell all the tales of his trip...I KNOW there would have been MANY!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 22:13:50 (MDT) May Chris's spirit live on forever inside each and everyone of us. May he sprinkle us with rain drops, caress us with sunshine and smile at us with rainbows. May he find us in love and peace and may we find others the same way. May we all keep Chris deep inside and on the surface that he might be with the entire world. May we all walk in his footsteps and may he walk in all of ours. May we all remember that Chris is with us and in us....May we all remember.. A Friend - Sunday, April 07, 2002 at 11:49:12 (MDT) 4/7/02...The art is another interesting one. Notice the right eye is very blue and vibrant while the left eye is black and malformed...The photo is another good one of Caleb and Colleen taken 3/23/02 after the production of GREASE! I had the pleasure of seeing them both again last night, this time at Deady's. Friday was Tiger's opening day at Comerica Park. When I heard that on the news my mind went back to April 1998 right away. Adam was a Senior, Chris was in eighth grade. Adam came to me one night and asked if it would be OK if he skipped school the next day to attend Tigers opening day with a bunch of kids. They were still at Tiger Stadium then, I don't remember who all the kids were I do remember Rich Greene was one of them. It didn't take me long to think about it and make a decision. When Chris found out he was MAD!.... "I can't believe you're letting him SKIP school!! You would NEVER let me skip school!" I tried to explain my reasoning, he's a VERY good student, he's a very good kid, he has no tests or important things due that day, school is almost over, graduation is in the bag, HE'S ASKING PERMISSION, and it's one of those once in a lifetime things that he can tell his grandchildren about. Chris listened to me and was still not convinced. I decided to make a pact with him. When he was a Senior in 2002, I would let him skip school to attend Tigers opening day too. He reluctantly agreed that this was fair. I had NO IDEA at the time he would be on Spring break on opening day....I had even LESS of an idea that he would be killed by opening day and would be gone for SO LONG already!!.... Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 23:48:46 (MST) 4/6/02....Adam dashed thru the house long enough between Detroit and Ann Arbor to put a picture up! Another taken 3/23/02 after the play. That's Caleb Deady who played drums in the orchestra, his girlfriend Colleen Baidoon as Sandy Dumbrowski and Angie Hillman the wonderful director. Colleen didn't know Chris but says she feels she knows him now in spirit thanks to Caleb. They started going out after Chris was killed...sometimes I wonder if Chris had a hand in that. He knew Caleb needed someone wonderful to help him through the bad times by helping make better times. When Caleb and Colleen came over Thurs. night, he brought a picture he found while giving his room a good cleaning...another Chris original! It's signed with his full name and dated 1994! It's a characture of Caleb wearing a Henry Ford T shirt. He let us keep it to copy it and take a picture for the web page. He also brought a photo I'd never seen from Homecoming 1999...We're STILL finding things almost a year and a half later!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 15:12:43 (MST) 4/6/02....Adam forgot to change the page today. He's SO busy with school, work, the band, and social activities he forgets sometimes...and I'm SO happy he is so busy! Looks like a beautiful day today, except for the patches of snow! The Chris we knew at 16 would have been outside today, most likely skateboarding....I have NO IDEA what the Chris of almost 18 would be doing...maybe he would have out grown skateboarding by now. That's the part that hurts so much. We'll NEVER know. Imagine missing out on someone's LIFETIME!...especially your child and only sibling who had so much talent and promise. And sadly, as a result, you miss a huge part of your own lifetime as well. Forgot to wish my dear friend Claudia Allen a Happy Birthday yesterday! I spent a long time looking for just the right E card to send last night but never found the one that said what I wanted to say. I hope she had a WONDERFUL Birthday!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 10:12:51 (MST) even though i've moved to chicago, i still stop by chris' memorial every time i'm back in michigan. tonight i read all the entries that i've missed, and i can't help but want to be back in michigan right now... i hope all of you are doing okay. xox. tiffany. <thislovesick@yahoo.com> - Saturday, April 06, 2002 at 00:18:43 (MST) I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peek I could see that you were crying, Quietly in your sleep. I touched you softly As you brushed away a tear "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here." I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour your coffee, You were thinking of how much You loved me. I was with you at my grave today You tend it with such care, I want to reassure you, That I'm not really there. I walked with you to the house, As you fumbled for your key I softly put my hand on you, I smiled and said, "It's me!" You looked so very tired And sank into a chair I tried so hard to let you know, That I was standing there. It's possible for me to be So near you everyday to say to you with certainty, "I never went away." You sat there very quietly then, Smiled, I think you knew, In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you. When the time is right for you To cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you And we'll stand side by side. I have so many things to Show you, there is so much to see Be patient, live your journey out, Then come home to be with me. Author Unknown - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 20:35:38 (MST) 4/5/02.....Same left eye crystal ball as yesterday. The photo is another taken 3/23/02 after the production of GREASE. That's Zach Storey perfectly portraying Eugene! It was great to see Zach back and looking so well, we wish him the best! The picture inspired another Chris memory.... I don't remember the month, but it was eighth grade at Emerson. Chris was invited to Zach's birthday party and volunteered to bring his Nintendo 64. Chris was SO proud of that....it was the first thing he purchased after he started working. The boys didn't miss it so much at first because they also had a Sega system in the basement. I guess Adam expected Chris to bring the Nintendo home that night but he left it....and continued to leave it for MONTHS. Adam finally started to bug me to get after Chris to bring it back. I reminded Adam that Chris bought it and really, it was his to do with what he wanted. Chris left it at Zach's because, at the time, they had no game system. I don't remember exactly what Adam threatened to deprive Chris of the use of...something of his, but it finally worked...Chris brought the system home! Last night the house was like Grand Central Station and I LOVED IT!!....That's how it always was before Chris was killed....The phone or the doorbell ALWAYS ringing...now, the silence is common, I hate it! But last night, Recital was practicing in the basement as they are tonight, Colleen, Caleb, Paul Grabowski and his girlfriend showed up at the door....and right behind them, Mr. Deady! It was great to see Paul! I have only seen him for brief moments in the art room since 11/20/00...The last time we actually had a conversation was 11/21/00....It's funny because just the night before, I was asking Cori about him...why didn't he try out for the play? I was able to ask him himself last night! And that's what we did... we sat around and talked about the play, the up coming talent show, school, college, graduation, work, future goals.....all the things Chris would be involved in right now and I loved it...but at the same time I HATED it! But all the kids are ALWAYS welcome at my door, I think they know that and I think they understand to some degree why I hate it but really love it. I came home late today after a very hectic day of work and errands to find a beautiful gift at the door....but no one to thank for it..there was no note or card. Just like the clay sculpture of Chris left at the Memorial 11/20/01. Today's gift is a beautiful rock inscribed with the following,: No farewell words were spoken, no time to say good - bye, you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why. If anyone knows who left it, please let me know so I can properly thank them. Fran Kempa - Friday, April 05, 2002 at 17:08:33 (MST) Yesterday evening I went to the monthly meeting of the "Compassionate Friends", a support group for patents who have had the death of a child. Near the end of the meeting a lady made a statement about the group. She said that all of us had "lost a child". I pointed out that I did not lose my child. He was taken from us. Miss you always Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Thursday, April 04, 2002 at 12:52:38 (MST) 4/4/02....Adam has no name for this art, once again, I call it interesting ...a man holding a crystal ball, and in that crystal ball is a left eye...eerie but accurate, it certainly fortold his future. The photo is another taken 3/23/02 in the band room at Franklin, I think after the play. That's Caleb Deady, Chris' other best friend for all his life! The pictures I took that night of Caleb in the pit were of very poor quality...due to the lighting and my lack of experience with the digital camera! Thank you Katie Bishop for your entry...once again, my mistake. Cori and I spent a bittersweet late afternoon into early evening Wed. We started by going to the Cemetary and ended by having dinner at East Side Mario's. In between there were Chris computer memories followed by Chris video memories. I was happy to hear all of Chris' friends seem to have meshed. Kids who were his friends before he was killed and NEVER hung out together are now friends and hang out together regularly.....I was happy to hear that... but at the same time I wanted to stand up and SCREAM...."I wish Chris could be a part of this new group too!!!".....They were all his friends..... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 23:34:57 (MST) Mrs. Kempa, i think Katie Williams was in a play one year, she was one of the nuns in "The Sound of Music", i think freshman year! but that was the only one. Katie B. - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 21:39:25 (MST) hey buddy whats up i was listenin to this song and it made me think of you....when u died i cried like a baby i begged the lord to take me cuz noone else can give me what u gave me i pray that i can go to heaven to see you again i really miss you chris ill see you again sometime woody << <>>> - Wednesday, April 03, 2002 at 17:36:07 (MST) 4/3/02.....Adam calls this drawing WALLHEAD. Several months after Chris was killed we found it hanging on his bedroom wall above his closet. We didn't notice it at first, he had SO MANY things hanging up there it just blended in. I remember how happy I was to find it though! The photo is another taken 3/23/02 in the choir room before GREASE. That's Becky Gates as Cha Cha DiGregorio. Becky and Chris went to Homecoming together in Sophomore year, Oct. 1999. I remember the day so vividly! They doubled with Caleb Deady and Katie Williams. We met at Deady's for pictures then we drove the kids to Olive Garden and Franklin and Deadys drove them home. What I remember most was the discussion on the way to Olive Garden. Chris was trying very hard to encourage both Becky and Katie to try out for the Spring Musical....the fall play was well under way by then but he was telling them how fun it was and how much they'd enjoy it. At the same time, while he was working on them, he was snapping everyones picture including his own as we drove! Becky was convinced, she may have already tried out for one or more but Katie was devoted to Soccer. She said if it didn't interfere with Soccer she would but if it did then no way. It must have interfered because she was never in a play! For some reason, I'm having many Chris memories lately. Maybe so much time has passed I'm just open to them now when before I was still too raw to experience them.....I don't know but I'm glad the good memories are starting to come rather than the horrible ones with the flash backs! While they still happen, they're not as frequent but just the fact that they happen at all is more than enough to deal with. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 23:16:45 (MST) Hello...I've never written in here before...I never got to meet Chris in person...we we're planning on it someday when either me or him got our license...I wish I would have hurried about and got it so I could have met him...he seems like an amazing guy. Even though I never met him I'll never forget him..I wish I would have kept the letter and emails and pictures i received from him. I'll never forget the memories either...like how much trouble him got in for calling me long distance...But thats all I wanted to say.... Jessie <ditzandglitz@aol.com> - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 12:25:54 (MST) The guys are from left to right...Wes Sanborn, Scott Allen, Mike Prokic, and Rob DenHartog...The T~Birds indeed! Great picture Fran! Ms. Hillman - Tuesday, April 02, 2002 at 10:07:01 (MST) 4/2/02....The art Adam calls WIND. My sister Kathy thinks it's me but I'm not so sure...I never saw it until long after he was killed. The photo is another taken March 23rd, in the choir room before the play. That's Scott as Danny and some of the T Birds...can someone identify them for me? Fran Kempa - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 22:13:11 (MST) He was young His life had just begun All of a sudden it was taken away I didn't even get to say the things I wanted to say. Only God can see What he would have turned out to be I still cry to this day He would have been 18 this year That day will surely bring a tear. Sometimes I envision him in my mind As clear as I would in a mirror. I only hope he knows that no matter where I go in life I love him so much I only wish I could feel his touch. Only God can see How much he meant to me. Why won't the sorrow disappear? Why can't I stop shedding tears? I never told him how much I cared. Or how much I enjoyed the times we shared. A Friend <Who Still Misses Chris> - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 20:59:57 (MST) I definately loved him as much. Still do. Ms. Hillman - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 18:13:40 (MST) 4/1/02....Adam calls this drawing WINK. Once again, I call it very interesting. Notice the left eye is absent. I believe he did this one sometime in 2000, after school started. The photo was taken Sat. March 23rd, 02 after the play. It shows three people Chris loved dearly, Cori Smith, the love of his life, Angie Hillman, one of his three most favorite teachers and Scott Allen, one of two best friends for all his life. I know they all loved Chris as much. As it turned out, we were able to have Easter dinner with Adam after all. After work he stopped by the Allens. Even though we were finished, we were still at the table while he ate. Great friends and great food made for a wonderful time. We touched on the subject of changing family traditions. We all agreed, when you reach our age, and our kids ages, traditions will change. Our changes just happened in a more profound way that we had no choice in. I'm so happy people still come to the Memorial! It has not been good candle weather for a long time now. It will look so beautiful in May with the flowers! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 14:32:34 (MST) I drove by the memorial Friday night and saw 3 girls there lighting candles...it made me smile to know that they were taking the time to light them. As I was stopped at the light, a really peaceful feeling came over me and I knew that Chris was there, so I said hi to him and told him that we all still miss him so very much and we ALWAYS will until we get to see him again. Michele - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 12:15:34 (MST) Friday night, a friend and I went to Chris' memorial. It's the first time I've ever really been there. I always wanted to go, but could never bring myself to do it. We tried to light the candles, but it had been raining, so they wouldn't light. We went to CVS and bought a new one, because we wanted to leave knowing there was a candle burning. We returned and left it there, burning brand new. It made me miss him. It's so weird to think that it's been so long since the accident. He's still in our hearts, as he always will be. That night, when we went to the memorial for the first time, it was about 9:00. When I went to take my friend home at 11:30, the candle was still burning. It made me smile, but at the same time brought tears to my eyes. We luv you Chris... Megan <BBallGrl1285@aol.com> - Monday, April 01, 2002 at 11:27:09 (MST) Strangely enough, my family had Easter dinner at Greektown tonight for the first time ever at Pegasus!!!...I just read Fran's entry from yesterday...reading that story makes me smile...Opa cheese kinda does smell! But I sure do love it! My thoughts and prayers are with you today and everyday! Keep looking for the signs, he is always there. With love... Ms. Hillman - Sunday, March 31, 2002 at 18:15:15 (MST) 3/31/02....Happy Easter, Happy Spring!!... I wish I meant it how I wrote it. The art is his wonderful MIRRORS self portrait from yesterday. The photo is another from Easter morning 1994. We both look VERY tired! It is a common problem when you get up at 5:30 AM! Looks like they had found both bunnies but were stil searching for those baskets...and I had to leave for work SOON! Yesterday after work I E mailed many family and friends Easter and Spring cards. Then the doggies and I raked the pool yard. It was good to be outside....but I didn't love it as much as I used to....those dogs help SO MUCH!! I have always LOVED dogs but I didn't realize how much until after 11/20/00....neither did they! After we raked, both dogs got a bath for Easter! (A MUCH needed one!) That was a project in itself! Chris knows what I have to say to him most recently....I talk to him every day. It is my belief he IS in heaven, watching over us and at the same time, having ALL of his dreams come true...he had SO many! And even stil, with that belief.....I still feel SO CHEATED.....for Chris, Adam Wm. and myself. Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 22:34:31 (MST) He was a BEAUTIFUL baby and an even more beautiful young man. I am proud to say my son was his friend. Hope you have as happy an Easter as possible. A Franklin Mom - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 18:03:33 (MST) Truly, the face of an angel. <3 <<<>>> - Saturday, March 30, 2002 at 16:56:18 (MST) 3/30/02....The art is his proudly displayed MIRRORS self portrait from Sophomore year...the one he loved so much and wanted framed so badly. I hope he's happy now that we had it framed after his death..I think he is. The photo is another from Easter morning 1985....and another that makes me think, "BEAUTIFUL baby, BEAUTIFUL boy." I see a resemblance between the photo and the portrait in the eyes and mouth! He got a basket and a four piece wood board puzzle. When the boys were smaller, it was tradition to give a basket and stuffed animal or toy...the big chocolate bunny tradition started when they were older. I had another VERY funny Chris memory tonight! We went out to dinner to a place where they were serving flaming cheese. We were in Livonia, not Greektown. When I saw them light it though I said to Adam, "Oh my God, do you remember?"......When Chris was about four, the four of us were in downtown Detroit for some event...I can't even remember what. Adam thought it would be a treat to take the boys to Greektown for dinner. We went to Pegasus. As soon as we walked in, Chris said VERY loudly, "Something STINKS in here!" and started to hold his nose. We were taken to a table and he continued to hold his nose and complain about the odor despite encouragement to stop. We ordered our meal and Adam thought the boys would get a kick out of the flaming cheese as an appetizer. When the waiter brought it to our table and lit it Chris said, again VERY LOUDLY, "That's what STINKS!" We wound up having to leave the resturant and took our meals in styrafoam containers to eat at Adam's office which luckily wasn't far away! At the time I remember being both embarassed and AMUSED! This will be a very non traditional Easter. I don't even think I'll see Adam Wm. I work days and he works evenings. The Allen's were very kind and invited us to dinner and we accepted. I can't believe we won't even be having dinner together...another reason I don't feel as though we're a family any more.... Something (someone) tells me the driver and his family continue to spend their holidays as they always have. I was going to do away with the Easter basket tradition this year but felt so guilty about dinner I bought some candy and Easter grass in Kroger today and decided to make an Easter center piece for the dining room table...no baskets, no bunnies but I HAD to get Adam some candy! I saw my first Blue Jay this morning! He came right up to the door wall while I was eating breakfast and looked in for a LONG time! I said, "Hi Chris!" I HOPE there are as many Cardinals and Blue Jays as last year in the yard.....that was a VERY GOOD sign! I went to the cemetaty yesterday...drove through and stopped, didn't even get out of the van..but I talked to him. I was telling Adam Wm. Thursday, we HAVE to order his grave marker now...as hard as it is to face and admit...it's disrespectful to Chris to be in an unmarked grave. We know what we want...have for a LONG time ...just couldn't bring ourselves to do it...but now we HAVE to. Fran Kempa - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 22:48:45 (MST) Happy Easter Chris! Miss you always Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 15:37:39 (MST) Happy Easter Chris! We all miss you very much. I'm sure you know how much the show rocked last week! love ya. A Player - Friday, March 29, 2002 at 11:23:55 (MST) 3/29/02...Same eye art as yesterday. The photo was taken in April 1985, Chris' first Easter. Looks like Adam is showing him the joys of Easter! I received a very sweet note from Colleen Baidoon yesterday...Thank you! Then I went to Franklin to drop our ad order off for the yearbook. I got there about 1:15 and the school was still bustling with activity. I walked by Angie Hillman's class room. The door was open and there was a sea of kids around her desk as usual. I also passed by the Art room, another area of intense activity. But I didn't go in either room. The girls in the yearbook room were very kind and helpful...I also ordered a yearbook! Chris would be SO happy today!! First day of Spring break. A time to sleep in and devote more time to his passions! I suspect the day after Easter he'd be taking off somewhere for his trip....As I passed a group of girls in the hall today at Franklin that was their very topic of conversation...."where are you going for spring break?" And one girl replied, "I'm going to Chicago" And even though I didn't recognize her, I thought to myself, I bet Chris would be going with you. We had our taxes done last night. We've been going to the same accountant for about six years now. Two years ago he told us his wife had liver cancer. The first thing he said to us as we sat down was, "You had a son killed last year didn't you?" And we said yes. He then stood up and said, "Well, I'm sorry to say I can relate." And I said, "Oh no, your wife?" And he said, "No, my son!" His 25 year old son was killed in July in California, his car was hit head on by a logging truck. He talked about last year how he had expressed his sympathy and told us he'd never had a client experience such a loss before. He said now, he KNOWS how we felt and still feel. "NO ONE knows!" he said, "The pain is just shocking." He told me how he'll be going through his day and all of a sudden he'll just start crying. I told him I didn't want to be negative, but here, almost one and a half years later I STILL cry at least once every day and I don't see that ever changing...he agreed. It was a very UNUSUAL tax preparation to say the least...I had never cried with our accountant before! Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 22:54:37 (MST) Even though I have gone away, Remember me. That smile on my face your mind will always see Remember my voice and my personality Even though my soul has been set free Remember me. Remember the times we had and the laughs we shared And all the days I was there Forget the way I left and the pain on my face Forget that moment try to erase the memory Remember me. Remember me as my self not the day when I left There was no pain my body felt My soul is safe and gone away to a place I will forever stay With no more worries or pain No more tears or being afraid I am eternally happy and I wait to greet you Live your life and do all you can do Keep in your heart my memories Believe in your soul that I am free Forget about that tragedy...... Remember me. Author Unknown - Thursday, March 28, 2002 at 20:03:16 (MST) 3/28/02...Another work that centers around an eye! Adam calls this one Rainbow eye...I call it interesting! The photo was taken Easter morning 1994. If Chris looks VERY tired he was. I had to work that year so the boys had the option of getting up EARLY , before I went to work to find their baskets then going back to bed...OR waiting until I came home at 3:30. They chose to get up early...about 5:30, then go back to bed. I guess they figured they couldn't wait all afternoon for their goodies! This was a VERY hard Chris afternoon / evening. We had to finalize our plan for our Senior ad for the 2002 yearbook for submission tomorrow....only we don't have a graduating Senior, just the memory of one. It was VERY hard to know we couldn't write what you kind of think about as a parent for years...what you want to say to your child on this land mark occasion. It was even harder to know, even though his picture WILL be in the yearbook, it won't be toward the front with the graduating Seniors, it will be in the back with the memorial and tanning booth ads...not at all what I planned and dreamed as a Mother for my child! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 22:26:30 (MST) 3/27/02....Same art as yesterday. The photo is yet another from Easter 1992. Chris had just found his bunny and was very proud. From the look on Adam's face, he hadn't found his yet! I had a VERY funny Chris memory last night while I was doing laundry. I don't know why I hadn't remembered this until now. It was during Christmas vacation 1993. Chris had gotten some type of gun set for Christmas...I can't remember if they were cap guns or space type guns but they made noise....anyway..Scott was over this particular evening and they were chasing each other around the downstairs shooting at each other...they were taking it quite seriously. Adam and I were in the sunroom watching TV. All of a sudden we heard a teriffic crash coming from the kitchen/ laundry room area and yelled the standard parent question that always follows such a noise, "WHAT happened?"...to which we got no response. I got up to investigate, only to find Chris standing in the laundry tub with the bottom broken out...for some reason he decided to hide from Scott in the laundry tub and quickly discovered it was not such a good choice. You simply HAD to laugh...seeing him trying to balance on the broken plastic and exposed drain pipes! Even his Dad laughed which was quite a switch...most often he failed to see the humor in such childhood predicaments! When Chris realized he wasn't in serious trouble, he and Scott were laughing too! You never know when a memory will flash back or why it hadn't before. The good ones are great and welcomed, the bad ones of 11/20/00 and the aftermath are HORRIBLE but unfortunatly still come. A very interesting Oprah today. To me, a no brainer for years...I should have written a book! From the time Chris was two, I knew art was his heart, passion and future and this is what should be sterssed. It was hard convincing his Dad and the school system but long before he was killed, they were both convinced. He received more mail from College for Creative Studies today. Another VERY nice letter and application...so I guess that recent phone call didn't take him off their mailing list...in a way I'm glad! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 27, 2002 at 15:03:44 (MST) We finally got the internet and remembered the site. We can still remember playing with Chris on the deck. We'll always remember him. God bless. Brian McShane <rockerguy1919@yahoo.com> - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 18:40:24 (MST) Hey, Mrs. Kempa... was just thinking about you, and hope your doing well. I was hoping maybe to come by and see you again soon maybe with Jenny.. let me know if thats ok. Hope you have a nice Easter :) Dawn Balint <RdoggO69@cs.com> - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 17:54:40 (MST) 3/26/02.....The art is ink and marker on paper and as most are, much better in person! I love the ones he wrote on...they're like a double treasure! The photo is ANOTHER from Easter 1992...we took a lot of pictures that morning, I think because it was the first Easter in the new house. From the photo, it looks like the hunt was over. Both boys had found baskets and bunnies. It's so hard to believe Sunday is EASTER! One of the many, but more insignificant things I've learned since Chris was killed is Holidays still happen without decorations. I have boxes of Easter decorations but not one is displayed this year. And although we haven't discussed it, I do believe the Easter basket is now a memory like so many others...but it wouldn't be if Chris was still here! I'm working this weekend and I'm glad! I SO wonder where he would have gone for Spring break. I know it wouldn't have been any where lavish like Mexico or Florida...maybe Chicago or Toronto..I'll never know. Cori has promised me a day during spring break! We're going to go to the Cemetary then come back to the house and go through all those computer files I found a few weeks ago. A LOT of the things were made with her in mind....songs, poems, a beautiful long letter...and I wonder if she ever got them..I want her to see them. Then I think we'll watch some Chris videos! I asked her if it would bother her and she said not at all. I'm looking forward to it..I hope she is. This weekend I found a spiral notebook that I made up in Fall 1997. In it I kept track of all the colleges Adam applied to. I also recorded the amount of deposit or registration fee, essays or personal statements required and the due dates. Once again, as so many things do these days, it made me SO SAD that I'll NEVER experience that excitement with Chris! I also recently found, buried in the drawer with my linen napkins and placemats, the piece of paper I wrote down all the meals for my family's visit for Easter 2000! I am a list maker, it helps me stay organized. Whenever they come to town, I write down all the meals I plan to prepare and then I make my grocery list from that. That was SO weird. Holding this list in my hands almost two years later and reading what we had prepared for his last holiday! I will miss him EVERY day for the rest of my life. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 15:55:26 (MST) my heart goes out to your friends and family. It was such a tragic loss ringo - Tuesday, March 26, 2002 at 15:04:00 (MST) 3/25/02...Same Lego mosaic...the photo is another taken Easter morning 1992. It looks like Adam is checking out Chris' basket! EVERYTHING was always equal, down to the last jelly bean! I did some things yesterday that I've wanted to do since about 12/00. I'm realy not sure what prompted me to do them yesterday of all days....maybe with all of the play action or maybe the fact that it was 37 degrees....It was 37 degrees the day...the moment Chris was killed. For MANY months now I've wondered, "Was he cold before he died?" And when I've listened to the weather or read in the paper the high or the low was 37, I've thought I wish I would have known that. As I was driving about this afternon I heard them say, "Current temperature is 37 degrees." I had on a turtle neck and wool sweater, no coat. I thought this would be a good test of how he felt that morning. So I pulled the van over, got out, and just stood....for a long time...and I wasn't cold! It made me feel GOOD to know Chris was NOT cold before he was killed! He had on his winter coat...the one I loved..the one that was cut to ribbons...he wasn't cold!! For some reason, that got me thinking about other things I've wondered about for a LONG time now. So I clocked the distance from our front door to corner. Chris traveled 7 tenths of a mile on the way to his death that morning. The driver traveled 4 tenths of a mile from his door to the corner...IF that's the route he took that morning..and it's 1.1 mile from our front door to school grounds...Parents of dead children have all sorts of fun ways to spend our time...don't we? Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 23:41:32 (MST) i am. . . slow-waiting and watching as my feelings form the roots of my garden in mid-summer storm --the seeds of my bitter sowed deeply below fast clinging to rock beds unwilling to grow- forsaking the sunlight, the freshened day dew and clinging to hardness, the pain to subdue --the sorrow sweet-tender now lost in the green grows gently on upward through each petals sheen-- enamored by grief till the morning that flows from sweat-glistened petals true beauty expose --the vines of the anger, the passion, the test hold choking and squeezing the fruits of my rest-- to hurt and destroy as they seek not to bloom with stubborn deep-seeded fast-holding their doom --the lovesick abandon of each flowers hold, inhaling the sunlight, quick-breathing pure gold-- is freshened by heartsong of soul's desperate plea to grow and be beauty, to seek and not flee the buds of my harvest made lovely through pain hold fast in the knowledge of sweet renewed gain as i hope in the promise of sweet renewed gain no comment USA - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 16:38:17 (MST) No happy time that passes is ever realy gone if it leaves a loving memory for looking back upon. Mary Saia - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 14:38:28 (MST) I hate this new normal, I want the old one back,And there was nothing that I lacked. All our birth dates were imprinted, On my memory when we were born now, with this new normal, I have a death date too that I mourn. Our family once of four Is what I thought we'd always be Never, ever thinking That one day we'd only be three. Yes, I hate this new normal, We didn't plan for this at all, Your future is now just past memories and sometimes too painful to recall. I want to feel one hundred percent But now the most is seventy-five. The joys and hope that I now have Are minus one quarter, my child died. There are no more celebrations only "occasions" that we share. We adjust to our new normal Because you're no longer there. You don't walk through the door any more Your laughter we do not hear The only thing I can hope for now, are my dreams to bring you near. Oh yes I hate this new normal, That just came and settled in, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you I want the old normal back again. New Normal <Author Unknown> - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 11:16:02 (MST) 3/24/02....The art is the Lego mosaic Adam made last year. The boys had MANY Legos. Mostly, castle, pirate and space. Since the big Lego sets are quite expensive, they would always be a joint gift. Over the years, the displays got taken apart and ALL the individual Legos wound up in a big suitcase in the basement. They were still cherished though. I would tease them at times and ask, "Who gets custody of the Legos when you two leave home?" They assured me they would be divided equally...each one still wanted his share! So I guess it was fitting, in the end, Adam gave them all to Chris! The mosaic has become a permanent fixture in front of the fireplace in the living room. It still amazes people when they see it for the first time! The photo was taken on Easter morning 1992. Every year both boys got a basket and a LARGE chocolate rabbit. We would hide them and make them find them, it was comical at times! I think my family was quite surprised when they came to visit for Easter 2000, Chris' last, that we still did the baskets at their ages, then 15 and 20! I KNOW we'd STILL be doing them now at 17 and 22 if Chris was still here...I have NO doubt. It was a FUN tradition! Once again, congratulations to all the Players for another OUTSTANDING performance and production last night. You could just feel the FUN and the memories they were making and I SO wished Ghris was there! We were able to get many GOOD pictures with the digital camera and I hope to put them on here as soon as Adam has the time to do it...I have NO idea how to! As it turned out, we did have a cast party of sorts after the play last night. Many Franklin alumni and former Players came back to the house with Adam! They were still here LONG after I went to bed so I assume they had a good time! Many DIFFICULT Chris things coming up over the next several months. I know he'll help me find the strength to get through! Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 10:58:30 (MST) The stillness of the morning wakes me up, but I don't see. Why the world begins another day When my son's not here with me. This house feels strangely silent, And his room a lonely place. I long to touch his soft brown hair And kiss his sweet face. I'll never again hear him call out, Mom, come see what I just made!!" I'm only left with memories...PLEASE God, DON'T let them fade. Deep in my heart his spirit lives, His laughter, I still hear He'll forever be my son, Though I can't hold him near. Another Day Without <Author Unknown> - Saturday, March 23, 2002 at 09:19:48 (MST) Sure, I will share my story...After the show, I was walking out the door and realized that I needed to "freshen up" my lipstick for "after the show" pictures. So I went back to the lightboard to do just that. I had just been in my purse 5 minutes before to get a Kleenex...as I looked down, I noticed a "Chris pin" that looked as though it had been perfectly placed on my purse. So I took a moment and said "Hi Chris, how did you like the show?" and immediately went to hug Fran and share my "Chris moment!" I know he is looking down from above, so proud of everybody and we all know that he is there cheering us on! Thank you for your support Fran...we love you. Ms. Hillman - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 22:36:29 (MST) Dear Lord I want to ask a favor, It means so much to me Things happened so quickly There wasn't time you see. You didn't give me a warning, I didn't have time to question "why?" When the angels came and took him I never got to say good bye. He wa only sixteen Lord, The son you gave to me I had dreams of years together I didn't expect his death so suddenly. Could you hug him like I used to, Would you brush his hair with your hand? Would you tickle him and remind him, I'll always be his biggest fan. Would you tell him that I'll always love him, And I'll always ask the question, WHY? You took him so fast that day Lord, I never got to say good bye. I didn't get to hug him Five minutes before he walked out the door. I didn't know the angels were waiting Or what they had in store. Will you make sure when it's my turn And the angels call for me I'll be a lot older Make sure he recognizes me. The pain is so hard Lord the hardest test you gave My heart was torn to pieces That day, beside his grave. Tell him I am waiting I try to be strong and not cry But it's so hard to forget... I never got to say good bye Tell him I look at his pictures And some days I just sigh It wasn't fair to either of us Lord... WE never got to say good bye. GOODBYE <A MOM> - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 21:09:22 (MST) 3/22/02....Last night was one of those nights that the computer would not cooperate and kept me from entering any site so I had to wait until after work. There must be another glitch in the programing because neither the art or the photo are what I picked out for today! Anyway.....Last evening was another special night at Frankiln!...Opening night of Grease and what a huge success it was! CONGRATULATIONS to ALL the cast and crew for the AMAZING production...Most especially to Cori, Scott, Colleen, Caleb and Angie Hillman! I heard a woman comment on my way out of the theatre and her comment sums it up perfectly...I shared it with Angie last night. "Every year, just when you think they couldn't possibly outdo themselves, they turn around and DO it the next year!!" I was so happy to see so many of Chris' friends last night...current students and graduates.....And all that ACTION on stage, just GREAT..but it did make me miss Chris SO much. Angie Hillman experienced a VERY interesting Chris sign! Maybe she'll share it here when her world calms down! She shared it with me and it made me VERY happy...I DO believe. Best of luck to everyone tonight..I don't see how ANYTHING could possibly go wrong. Looking forward to Saturday's performance and seeing all the alumni. Since it would have been Chris' last year at Franklin and as a Player, I decided to do flowers again in his memory. I know he likes that! He knows how much I love flowers. A co worker asked me today if the play was horrible for me. And I tried to explain how I felt. No, the play was WONDERFUL!! I ENJOYED it and everything about it! I kept my emotions in check for the most part all night...then cried all the way home! Fran Kempa - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 15:38:36 (MST) Well, it diffently has been awhile since i wrote anything on this site. i've been so busy with school, and work. i know one thing, if chris was working with me, i know the hours would go by much faster. there is not a day that goes by that i don't think about you and everything that you could have done. but i know for a fact that you are up in heaven making it look beautiful, waiting for us to join you. i know that his spirit is diffently at larrys still, watching over thoses of us who still work there. ms. hillman was nice enough to let my friend and i watch the play during a rehersal on monday night. i love the play and i could just see chris out on the stage, playing one of the "t birds". but thank you so much ms. hillman. i love you and miss you very much chris. and mrs. kempa, i'm glad to see you in larrys almost everytime i'm working. love , me Jenny Gervasi <msbanana37@hotmail.com> - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 14:48:35 (MST) What a beautiful entry Moriah! It does make sense! Hang on to that lovely Dream! MCS - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 11:53:28 (MST) i'm sorry to hear about all this! my friend was killed in 2001 he was riding his bike and was hit he was 15 and a sophmore at rch! they both will be rememeber tina <preciousme2005@aol.com> - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 11:12:50 (MST) Hi Chris.........Thankyou for that lovely dream date last night, I will remember it for ever and ever. Me and Chris had a dream date last night, we were on the bus to the career center and we hugged and i could feel it completely. As if he was alive again. We used to say to each other "We can meet in our dreams if we make a spot to maeet at before we go to be," that probably doesnt make sense to you guys, but we finally had our dream date, and it was the most special thing in the world! ----->>moriah "punk <Rocker"> - Friday, March 22, 2002 at 09:43:37 (MST) ...Fly away my angel, spread your wings and fly. Take the beauty of your soul, and share it with the sky. Author unknown - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 15:33:47 (MST) Yep..it was from "Comic"...we watched a little bit of that show today in Drama class! Chris' camera work was excellent, as always! We look forward to seeing you tonight Fran! We know that Chris is watching over our opening night... Ms. Hillman - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 14:47:52 (MST) It could VERY WELL be from Comic, November, 1999....Thank you. That would explain why Chris had the camera and no costume...My Mistake! Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 13:40:17 (MST) Are you sure it's not from Is There A Comic in the House? I don't think Liz was in Lady Cries, plus she's wearing a dress that looks like her's from the debutantes in Comic and the bright shirt in the background also looks like a Comic costume....maybe I'm wrong??? ???? <????> - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 10:24:20 (MST) The girl in the photo is Elizabeth (Liz) Barrett, a 2001 grad. * <*> - Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 10:19:33 (MST) 3/21/02...Same Indian art from fifth grade. The photo was taken in November 1998, Freshman year...two years to live..but who knew?...during Lady Cries Murder. I LOVE this picture! The girl in front is Shawana Brenner, the girl behind her I'm sorry to say, I don't recognize, once again, can anyone help me out? Behind her Tim Niles and behind Tim, Chris...with his camera ready to roll even though he was actually in this play! Thank you to whom ever identified Kelli Monthi. She is the girl who hosted the first and last kid New Years eve party we ever let him attend. I obviously didn't know her well but the fact that she was a Player was good enough for me...just a group of wonderfully WONDERFUL, talented kids! I felt very comfortable letting him go to the party even though I didn't know Kelli or her parents. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 22:38:51 (MST) her name is kellie Monthi, the girl that was in the pic the other day me USA - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 19:43:46 (MST) I have lost a life ...Not my own. But it would Have been easier To have lost My own life Than to have Lost the life I loved More Than my own. A LIFE LOST - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 15:57:22 (MST) still thinkin about ya Chris. - <-> - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 12:00:01 (MST) Dear Fran: I haven't read my e-mail in a month, so I thought I would check out Chris's website, I don't do that too often,it just reminds me of your unbearable loss. Donna keeps me posted most of the time. But then there are times when she says "you should realy check out the website and get caught up", and I do , and I cry and cry and cry. I know that I don't talk to you that often but please know that you and Adam x2 and Chris are in my thoughts every day. And at the first of every month I add your names and angel Chris to the prayer list at work so that every day many, many people will be praying for all of you. This is only one small act of love that I will ALWAYS do for you because I don't quite know what else I can do to help. I miss you all very much and love you too. Have a very blessed Easter holiday, and even though you will not be at our dinner table with us that Sunday, please know that you will all be in our hearts. Love Nancy Nancy <Leistnanc@aol.com> - Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 09:33:34 (MST) 3/20/02....This Indian was drawn in fifth grade, 1995, as the cover to a project on an Indian tribe. The photo was taken in November, 1999, during the fall play, Is There a Comic In The House? That's Dave Stollings to the left, Chris in the middle and Zack Storey to the right. I know Zach has a role in Grease but I don't know about Dave. I was disappointed no one was able to identify the girl in yesterday's photo. I had the PLEASURE of talking to Jeremy Rheault today by phone. They're gearing up for the annual art show at Civic Center Library next month...the one they very kindly dedicated to Chris last year. I can't even begin to imagine where he'd be by this time had he lived...he was just taking off and I know his art would have been featured! We also touched on the fact that in May we will once again meet to determine the 2nd recipient of the Chris Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship! I CAN"T BELIEVE it's been so long! I also talked to Dana B., "Frenchy" on line tonight! Tomorrow is the Matinee for the Emerson Middle School kids! Chris would have been SO EXCITED!! Best of luck to ALL the cast and crew and the wonderful director! See you all Thursday. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 22:47:19 (MST) 3/20/02....This Indian was drawn in fifth grade, 1995, as the cover to a project on an Indian tribe. The photo was taken in November, 1999, during the fall play, Is There a Comic In The House? That's Dave Stollings to the left, Chris in the middle and Zack Storey to the right. I know Zach has a role in Grease but I don't know about Dave. I was disappointed no one was able to identify the girl in yesterday's photo. I had the PLEASURE of talking to Jeremy Rheault today by phone. They're gearing up for the annual art show at Civic Center Library next month...the one they very kindly dedicated to Chris last year. I can't even begin to imagine where he'd be by this time had he lived...he was just taking off and I know his art would have been featured! We also touched on the fact that in May we will once again meet to determine the 2nd recipient of the Chris Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship! I CAN"T BELIEVE it's been so long! I also talked to Dana B., "Frenchy" on line tonight! Tomorrow is the Matinee for the Emerson Middle School kids! Chris would have been SO EXCITED!! Best of luck to ALL the cast and crew and the wonderful director! See you all Thursday. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 22:46:59 (MST) 3/19/02...Same Ben Franklin art as yesterday. The photo is from another cast party but I'm not sure which play or what year. I'm also very sorry to say, once again, I don't recognize the girl in the photo with Chris....once again, can someone help me out?...Thank you to the person who identified Sara Nolan...I don't know why I didn't know her in the photo...I should have, Chris LOVED Sara!! I remember SO vividly, she or I would drive him to the Bean on Mondays but she always drove him home. Then, they would sit in the driveway for a LONG time and talk...some nights I teased him about how long they were there, but they were talking!! I'm home now after another uneventful, but LATE flight! I missed Adam and my doggies!! I had a nice time but the whole visit was full of emotions....I SO enjoyed spending time with just my sisters on Friday, then seeing my brother and sister-in-law....my WHOLE family on Saturday! But all I could think about was Adam...let alone Chris, and how they will NEVER experience such times as brothers... and it broke my heart! My father asked me on Sunday how many vehicles we owned...I hadn't thought about it until that moment and it hit me SO HARD...this is the exact month we would have given Chris Adam's car....a '93 Topaz and he would have been SOOOOO HAPPY to have it!! I don't know if my family realized it or not but unfortunatly, they saw first hand, just how emotional I STILL am. There's no telling what can set me off....I don't even know until it happens. Thank you Christina for your entry...THANK GOD that girl was able to get up and walk away....How I WISH Chris would have been so lucky! This is play week!! I am very excited...but not nearly as excited as I know all the Players are, and Chris would have been! I wish each and every one of you the best of luck and I KNOW it will be a WONDERFUL production!! Can't wait! Fran Kempa - Monday, March 18, 2002 at 22:42:29 (MST) Chris a friend and I were walkin around down town Plymouth today and in front of us was a girl on a bike as she crossed the side walk on a one way street a car coming up to what is suppossed to be a stop sign their HIT HER!!!!! I could not believe what I saw the girl was knocked off her bike! I started to run over to her when she jumped up looked at her self to make sure she was ok then she started to yell at the driver saying how that was a stop sign the driver didn't stop for....I know you were watching out for her...I so wanted to run up to the lady and be like don't you know pedestrians come FIRST! Christina - Monday, March 18, 2002 at 15:42:39 (MST) The girl in the middle is Sara Nolan, 2000 grad. . <.> - Monday, March 18, 2002 at 04:38:08 (MST) 3/18/02...This is the Ben Franklin drawing and photo that were up by mistake briefly 3/17....Does anybody recognize the girl in the middle?....Back to Detroit today... Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 22:17:45 (MST) Mrs.Kempa~Thank you for remembering Anna today...I know that Chris is with her up in Heaven. Michele - Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 18:31:53 (MST) 3/17/02...Thank you Adam for fixing it! The photo was taken in Oct. 1998 for Lady Cries Murder. That's Chris and Aime Rapoff. Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 17, 2002 at 07:45:11 (MST) I went to the corner this Saturday night to light candles at Chris's memorial, like so many other nights. It was a "bad candle" night and I had trouble lighting candles. Even though the wind was cold and blowing I found something that made me feel warm inside. Someone had left an "AOL" cd rom disk at Chris's memorial. Who ever did this knew Chris well. Thanks!!!! Miss you always, Dad Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Saturday, March 16, 2002 at 23:23:14 (MST) 3/17/02.....somehow Adam misdated today as 3/18. HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! The art is the drawing Adam calls BF, for Ben Franklin. It was one of only three he did in 2000 at the Career Center just weeks before he was killed. The photo was taken at the cast party following The Sound Of Music, 1999. That's Chris to the left and Lori B. to the right...I am very sorry to say I don't recognize the girl in the middle...can anybody help me out? The party tonight was WONDERFUL! I have never attended a totally catered event and discovered it's WELL worth it! We had a lot of fun but there were a few awkward moments when my family realized just how fresh the wound is...even though I try to hide it, I still cry EVERY day and I couldn't help it today. Mom, I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I think you did! Thank you 1 800 Gateway for solving the computer glitches!! Our thoughts and prayers are with the family of Anna Bonde on this, the first anniversary of her death. Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 16, 2002 at 22:56:25 (MST) Dear Chris: I know that you were with us tonight at Grandma Joan's 80th birthday celebration. The candles that Aunt Molly had burning on the dining room table burned very interestingly. One of them, next to your Mother, burned in the shape of an angel's wing...pointing at Grandma Joan. It was good to see your Mom smile and laugh. She enjoyed being with her family. Aunt Molly's computer is having some technical difficulties tonight, so I thought I would drop a line in the guestbook. Please watch over your Mom's flight Monday afternoon...get her home safely. I am sure you know she has a lot of work to do this week. Stay with her and guide her through all that she has ahead of her Chris. We love you. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Saturday, March 16, 2002 at 21:38:53 (MST) Dear Chris, I was so happy to see your mom last night; it was a real big surprise. I really miss you Chris; I really wish you were here for this 80th birthday of mine. I know you're in heaven and it's good to know that I have representation there.I look forward to seeing you one day soon. Love, Grandma Joan Grandma Joan <Using Aunt Kathy's> - Saturday, March 16, 2002 at 06:29:11 (MST) 3/16/02...The photo is of Chris working on his MIRRORS self portrait in the art room, Sophomore year, so '99 or '00. The photo was taken at a cast party Freshman year, I believe at Katie and Jenny M's house. It was either after Lady Cries, or Sound Of Music. 1998, 0r '99. That's Chris Ostafinsky in the upper left, Ryan Allen in the lower left, Heather Boyce in the upper right, Chris, Karen Ostafinsky and Adam... ALL that TALENT in one room!! I am in Buffalo now!! Molly is letting me use her computer for the updates. It was a very uneventful flight. The new terminal is quite nice but I found the people not very helpful. When I got to the E mail check in there were at least five employees standing behind the scenes. My turn came and I said to one of the women, "You know, I have NO idea what I'm doing." I honestly thought she'd show me or at least show me how to begin but she replied, "Well, just read the screen" and walked away....so I did and muddled through...I got here anyway! There is a tunnel between Concourse A and Concourse B and C. I was going to C. There is a light show that plays on both sides of the wall as you pass through and all I could think about was Chris...he would have LOVED it! It truly gets your attention, you can't ignore it. The flight was uneventful. I sat next to a man whom I decided after three futile attempts to converse with was more interested in his crossword puzzle and wanted to be left alone so I did. I read part of a grief book and part of Barbara Olson's last book on the Clinton's final days....much more fun than talking to a boring man! My Mother now knows we're here but has no idea what's in store for her tomorrow! I spent the evening with just my two sisters....haven't done that in YEARS. It was fun! My Mother said she loves the way I sign cards, "And the spirit of Chris" I said, "I have to, I'm not ready to let him die." She said, "I'm not either, I miss him too you know......" Fran Kempa - Friday, March 15, 2002 at 22:36:09 (MST) Best wishes to Mrs Kempa on your weekend trip.. Don't be affarid I know Chris will be sitting next to you on the plain... .. - Friday, March 15, 2002 at 13:24:28 (MST) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Friday, March 15, 2002 at 10:09:05 (MST) 3/15/02.....Don't know how but I left out one of Chris' most favorite people in my description of the photo. The girl to the left in the red hat is Lauren Rossi, Chris LOVED Lauren and I think she felt the same! Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 22:45:58 (MST) 3/15/02....same eyeless painting as yesterday. The photo was taken in November 1998, Freshman year. First and last time he made the play, Lady Cries Murder. After Sound Of Music, Freshman year 1999, he was crushed that he didn't make it. I think he gave up trying out...just joined crew...video taping, right away. That was his nitch. I KNOW however he would have tried out , and hopefully made a part...even a SMALL part...A tree trunk..in his MOST FAVORITE musical, Grease! Seeing as it's tech week I thought I'd put up play pictures for the next week or so. Pictures from behind the scenes and some from cast parties....That was something he SO wanted to do...."Mom when I'm a Senior, WE HAVE to have the cast party!" And I would have LOVED to have done it! We would have been planning and preparing for weeks now! Claudia would have helped me, being an old pro at the task!.....ANYWAY, the photo is of Chris and Amie Rapoff taken in November, 1998 during Lady Cries Murder. I went to Franklin theatre this afternoon to visit and see how things are going......Everything seems to be going GREAT!! Everyone was very busy...they just run the play. I didn't want to bother anybody. Cori's solo is absolutly BEAUTIFUL!! ,just as Claudia said it was. Scott and Colleen looked GREAT up there too...and Caleb in the pit playing drums...sounded GREAT! I have attended EVERY Franklin play since 1994. EACH one is an amazing work of art! I have tickets for next Thursday's performance and Saturday's...Can't wait!! I'm a little leary about flying tomorrow...always have been but never enough to keep me from boarding....one of those trust issues. I am NOT a frequent flyer. I have not flown since 1997 when my sister Molly and I went to St. Kitts. I've been giving many people my, "If my plane crashes." speech. This time around it's much easier. It goes something like this, "If my plane crashes, don't feel sorry for me, I'll be HAPPY, I'll be with Chris! And I MEAN that!! I am NOT worried...I'm ready now when and however it comes.....Chris taught me that! Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 22:39:48 (MST) This is one of my favorites of Chris's work. Be home Friday! Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 16:25:11 (MST) Franny.....we look forward to seeing you this weekend in Buffalo. The 80th celebraton for Mom will be nice..and of course, Chris will be there. Mom believes Chris has visited her before. It will be very special to have all of the siblings together with their parents again..this time for a happy occasion. See you Saturday...may the Lord protect you during your journey....and I know Chris will have a part in that too! Love you!! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 09:04:14 (MST) 3/14/02...Adam W. calls this painting CIGAR. It was done second semester Sophomore year so that would be 2000, during his independant painting class, maybe six months before he was killed. Note the eye is absent. Happy 80th Birthday to my dear Mother whom Chris and Adam called (call) Grandma Joan. That's Chris and Grandma Joan hugging good bye at the cottage in 1992. Saturday's party should be fun...I haven't been to Buffalo since Grandma Kempa's funeral in Sept. 2000! A year and a half....I can't believe it! That's the longest I have EVER stayed away....but when you're in a fog, you have NO concept of time...And most unfortunatly, that fog still lingers to a certain extent. I think it will for the rest of my life. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 22:24:37 (MST) Today I passed a upscale store in Houston selling "functional art" My first reaction was "Chris would love this". Only for an instant, but then of course I knew... I'm afraid after over 16 years of being Chris's dad I still look for things he would enjoy. Miss you always, Dad Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 16:28:41 (MST) not bad... Nada <nada@nada.com> - Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 11:04:08 (MST) 3/13/02...Same digital "art" as yesterday. The photo was taken in July, 1984. They were SO CLOSE! When they were little they so obviously loved each other....as they got older, I questioned it sometimes as they fought...but then it was obvious again how close they were....Often times, the loss Adam has suffered is minimized compared to our loss as parents. At times I believe his loss is much GREATER...he will have to live with it a lot longer than we will...and just like us....EVERY holiday, special occasion, accomplishment etc. will be a bitter sweet experience because Chris is NOT here! That will color all of our worlds forever.....For example....Thursday is my Mother's 80th BD. I E mailed her some flowers tonight. I would have much rather signed the card : Love, Adam, Fran, Adam and Chris. Rather than, Love, Adam, Fran, Adam and the Spirit of Chris...but that's what I had to do....On Friday I fly to Buffalo for a belated surprise party on Sat. I'm glad Adam and Adam couldn't go.....I won't miss Chris' presence so much as a result...I hope! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 22:42:35 (MST) I think of you in silence, My feelings seldom show, But how it hurts to lose you, No one will ever know. I hope there is eternal lie, So we can meet again, I not only lost my child, I lost a very good friend. I surely have NO CHOICE in this, I ache to touch the child I miss, And on her cheek to place a kiss, I MISS YOU so MUCH, Kris! In Loving Memory Of Krystal Lynn Sharp <Killed By An Impaired driver> - Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 15:32:48 (MST) 3/12/02...This art is a digital self portrait taken in Oct. 2000, using the art room's newly acquired, digital camera. Chris was just beginning to get a feel for it and, as I know he'd be the first to admit, teaching the teacher, Mr. Rheault how to use it! Adam had such a Christmas planned for 2000! A digital camera AND the new video camera he dreamed of for so long! As it turned out, we got the digital camera for Adam W....Mainly so he could update the Memorial page for his brother. The new video camera was never purchased...NO NEED! I was SO HAPPY to find Claudia at my door this evening!... Fran Kempa - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 23:17:34 (MST) I'm back in Texas again teaching my one week course. I remember when Chris was little he didn't like me to fly. To make him fell better he made me show him on a map where I was going. The wrost part of this trip has be the hours thinking while traveling. Miss you always, Dad Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 16:47:43 (MST) Mrs. Kempa, i never got a chance to tell your son how much he really did mean to me, and i wish i had, it seems like everything has been reminding me of him and his beautifull self lately, i just wish i would have told him, i say that now but if i ever had a face to face encounter i probably would have been too shy to tell my secrets. He was the one that meant something to me, and i will forever miss his beautifull person. I am so glad that we met that one day on the way home. I am so glad that i made an effort to talk to you and to keep our friendship. I hope that some day soon we will find time to get together or something. I just wanna sit and talk sometimes, but sometimes there is no one to talk to. Please forgive me for not calling you or sending you a little message lately. I keep telling myself that i will soon, but whenever i think about i just become so weak and lazy. Im sorry. love in Christ--->>moriah punk <rocker> - Monday, March 11, 2002 at 14:54:26 (MST) 3/11/02....Same beautiful drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in June, 1985 on Father's Day. We had gotten him an official tool box....one of those metal ones on rollers and we were all very anxious for his reaction...as usual, Chris was the most excited, he couldn't wait...he CLIMBED onto the gift and started opening it himself! Thank you to the person who made the Paul Simon entry. We all LOVE Paul Simon. He along with MANY others was the music the boys grew up with. And rather than hating it because it was "parent music", I guess we played it enough that they grew to appreciate it very much. It's funny how I now listen to that music and the words have such different meanings! Music and song was and still is such a BIG part of our lives. I ALWAYS told the boys, music and song is good for the soul and I'm happy to say I am SLOWLY rediscovering that! There are still some songs I CAN NOT listen to though. One of which is TIME OF YOUR LIFE by GREEN DAY. That song was popular in 1998, the year Adam graduated from Franklin. It's the song that plays on one of the 1998 play videos at the end during behind the scenes footage. I LOVED that song when Adam was a Senior even though it made me cry then....but for happy reasons. I hear it now....and even though it's old, I hear it A LOT...I CAN NOT listen to it...I have to change the channel...It still makes me cry....but for SAD reasons. Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 22:49:19 (MST) I did see it, and it was a most beautiful work of heaven!!! Certainly Chris had a part... See-er of Signs - Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 17:36:27 (MST) ...Losing love is like a window in your heart....everybody sees you're blown apart... From Graceland <Paul Simon> - Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 16:13:45 (MST) 3/10/02....this drawing Adam calls BLACK. It is one of two GREAT pieces Mr. Rheault found in the art room months after Chris was killed. We are SO happy to have them! The photo was taken in August 1984 after Chris' Baptism. That's God Mother Aunt Virgie holding Chris, Father Mack, God Father Uncle Bill, Adam, Adam and me. It was easier for all family involved for us just to go to Buffalo for the event which we did. Father Mack is a long time family friend. He is one of the two priests who married us in 1975 and then he went on to Baptize both boys. Yesterday was a VERY BAD Chris day! I had worked a double Friday, that and other events had left me mentally and physically exhausted...a perfect set up for a bad Chris day. I just COULDN'T get going. I finally left the house about 3:30 to do some errands. It was SO windy and just POURING rain. All I could do was cry and talk to Chris as I drove from place to place. I was driving north on Farmington between Joy and West Chicago at 5:10. The rain had changed to a drizzle but it was still quite dark. All of a sudden, to the west, the "Heavens parted" and the most beautiful sun I've ever seen came out form behind the clouds. I have NEVER seen anything like this in my 47 years! Everything had a slight yellow cast to it...everything looked like it was glowing. It truly was the most beautiful act of nature I have ever seen. I had to pull the van over and just stare at it for a while... And YES!!!! I do believe it was a sign from Chris! Even SEEEROFSIGNS would have been convinced if he had seen it! Chris knew I was having a bad day and most importantly, he knew why and came to cheer me up...it worked!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 10, 2002 at 13:28:31 (MST) Today we both share these hours of laughter. We both share these hours of fun. But one day when you are here no more... One day when you are gone... I would look back at your friendship That was like a deep purple dawn... Yesterday it was here. Today it's gone. I would remember the things you used to do, The things you used to say.... And those memories would forever stay, As I go from day to day. When You Are Gone <Jenni kalicharan> - Saturday, March 09, 2002 at 12:43:33 (MST) 3/9/02....same bicycle still life. The photo was taken when Chris was five and Charlie was a pup....eating one of his first meals in his new home. As you can see, Chris was in love!....followed him around where ever he went! Both boys loved Charlie...Both still do...Chris just from afar! Fran Kempa - Friday, March 08, 2002 at 23:47:00 (MST) 3/8/02....once again, this is the bicycle stil life that was thrown out by mistake. At the time, when Mr. Rheault broke the news to us, I was totally not upset....I just figured he'd do more.....what I would give for that drawing now!..... The photo was taken in April, 1986. It was taken in Buffalo in Grandma Joan and Bill's family room. That's Chris, playing Bill's harmonica in his Star Wars sweatshirt! I picked up the terrarium from Cardwell's Wed. evening. They did a BEAUTIFUL job....salvaged MUCH of the original material including at least one, maybe two of the cacti. When I went to pay, they said, "Oh no, this one's on the house." and REFUSED to take my payment. THANK YOU Cardwell Florist!! It means SO much to Adam W. and me! I drove through the cemetary Wed. after work. Chris' grave blanket is gone and in the distance, just as last year, was the dump truck, dumpster, and piles of grave blankets...VERY depressing. I also couldn't help noticing the purple cemetary van was out and about...selling someone a plot....I will NEVER forget riding in that van the SAME day my baby was KILLED, trying to pick out a grave and being in such a surreal shock/ fog. Adam called tonight about 10:45 and was very upset with me for not turning on my cell phone.....I NEVER turn it on...I only carry it with me...ONLY for emergencies. He and Recital played in Hamtramick tonight.....As it turns out, they were on the Fox 2 news at 10. He tried to call me to tape it...no luck, busy signal. I then asked if he had tried any of the other band members Moms to do the same when he couldn't get me, and of course it was, "well no..." It just so happens, Channel 2 news is replayed at 2 AM and he talked Adam F. through Tivoing it...looking forward to seeing it!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 22:39:11 (MST) And if I go while you are still here.... know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure behind a thin veil you cannot see through. You will not see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other. Until then, live your life to it's fullest and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart, ...I will be there... Emily Dickinson <from Forever Remembered> - Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 21:18:09 (MST) 3/7/02....Same eye/hand as yesterday. The photo was taken in August 2000 while up north at Casey's cottage. It's the only picture of him from his rolls of film. Look at those muscular legs and arms. He was 6'1', still growing and SOLID.Unfortunatly he was no match for a Ford Ranger. Adam and Chris O. spend a lot of time together because of the band. They had to go back to the studio yesterday for some remixing for their new CD. They got back to the house about 10 PM and Adam asked what was for dinner. Since we had eaten a few hours before I laughed and asked what he wanted. He replied, "What ever you're wiling to fix." I checked out the freezer and asked if nuggets and fries would be OK. I then asked Chris if he wanted some too and he replied, "Sure." When the food was ready they were down in the basement watching Tivo. I called down from the kitchen, "Adam and Chris, it's ready!" That's something I did almost every night before Chris was killed. When Adam came up I said, "Sorry, I haven't been able to do that for 15 months and I just had to do it again!" I was SO SICK again today. Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 14:42:09 (MST) I am visiting the web page again tonight Fran...we will not forget! Thinking of you always... a friend USA - Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 20:00:10 (MST) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 19:59:08 (MST) 3/6/02....once again, this art is VERY telling, almost like a sign no one, including Chris got. Someone held his fate in their hand, a perfect stranger and it all related to an eye! The photo was taken in Feb. 1993, third grade. They did a living wax museum and Chris chose Jonas Salk as his character. They had to research the person, and write a report on them. Then they had to choose props to depict this person in this museum. Chris wore one of Adam's lab coats and thick, black, plastic glass frames. He had a microscope and test tubes as props and got RAVE reviews! And typical Chris, he loved every minute of it, he loved being on display. I ran into Moriah and her Mom this afternoon. I was on my way into Kohl's and they were on their way out...we almost ran into each other...I truly BELIEVE Chris has his hand in such encounters! We chatted for a while. They were shopping for something for Senior pictures and trying on Prom dresses just for the fun of it and all I could think was, "You are SO lucky!!" I was talking to someone Monday night about this web page. I respect this person's opinion very much. She told me how beautiful she thought it was and told me she visits every day. That made me very happy and I told her so. I then told her how much it helps me. I told her I'm NOT ready to let Chris go, I'm NOT ready to let him die. The biggest fear of parents of dead children is their child will be forgotten and I can NEVER let that happen! This is the last tangible connection I have to Chris and I can't let it go yet. I have a need and an obligation to keep his memory alive. I also feel I have a need to tell his life story....and while that has ended, the story of his death has yet to be told... Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 23:04:18 (MST) That picture of Chris is sooo cute! I always knew that deep down inside he was a ladies man! Well on another note, Chris help out everyone dealing with the loss of Rob. I'm sure that he is a little scared in heaven and since you both came from the Players Family, could you help him out? Thank you. Also, keep an eye on J's mom for me...I think that she needs some angels with her right now. Thank you. Loving you and missing you always. Michele - Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 18:19:02 (MST) I have a need to speak of you, a need to say your name. Since you were killed months ago, our lives haven't been the same. I have a need to see your face, a need to touch your hair, I want to hold you in my arms, so much, but you're not there. The sadness is still deep inside, can't help the way I feel, you are and always will be mine, my love for you is real. For now I have your pictures and both sad and sweet memories I guess my needs will have to wait, so I'll be content with these. Author Unknown - Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 15:34:50 (MST) Chris i really need you again buddy. Can you please look over my grandma this week, she's really having a difficult time right now. She had lung cancer and getting worse, and she's getting a heart test done to see if it could last through such a serious surgery, and i need you to look over her. It would help me so much, i can't stand losing somebody close to me again this year...to many people that i've known and gotten close with have died in the past 2 1/2 years. i don't want to lose her. so can you do that for me chris? thanks so much. I love you kiddo. Katie B. - Tuesday, March 05, 2002 at 12:58:42 (MST) 3/5/02....Same art as yesterday. It dawned on me today....since the right eye is visible in the drawing, it must be the LEFT eye contained inside the ball the guy is holding in his hand...very weird! Could it have been a self portrait?! The photo depicts the original "gang." It was taken in 1986 at the Garlands, our then nextdoor neighbors. Left to right is : Alexis Garland, Melissa Wong, I think Brooke Kilyaik but I'm not positive, Colin Garland, Annie Heathcock, Chris, Adam and Amanda Wong. All these kids were such a BIG part of my life at the time. They were always back and forth between houses and I LOVED every moment! GOOD memories. I'm pretty sure Shannon gave me this photo at the wake. I was SO sad and sorry to learn of the death of yet ANOTHER Franklin student, 2000 graduate and Player, Rob Polesky. I really don't know the details, just the fact that another talented being is gone TOO SOON. As always, our thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends. Sunday's Marshall Fields ad contained a spread on "Prom 2002" dresses and it made me SO SAD! All I could think of was the EXCITING time Senior Prom was for Adam and feeling SO cheated of never being able to experience it with Chris...for him and me. No choice of which tux...I think the choice of date was clear..no Prom party, no Prom pictures....NO PROM....I HATE it! We had the carpet installed in our new room today! It should have been SO thrilling but all I could think was, "we should be doing this in preparation for Adam and Chris' graduation party....not so we can hang his art in his memory." Kmart and Target have their garden departments open! In years past, this used to excite me so! It meant the winter which I hate so much was almost over and Spring was just around the corner... I could be out in my garden SOON! This year I could care less....I informed Adam just last night, I only intend to plant in the front this year...I look at even gardening....which I LOVED so much with half a heart anymore. I'm SO AFRAID that's how I'll view EVERYTHING for the rest of my life...because that's all I have left...half a heart... Fran Kempa - Monday, March 04, 2002 at 23:38:05 (MST) 3/4/02.....This is yet another piece with special attention to EYES! In the actual drawing, you can clearly see, contained inside the ball the guy is holding is an EYE! The photo was taken in March 1985, 9 months old and already developing an "active child" reputation which I thought was great! My Mother and sister Molly came to visit when this photo was taken...I don't think they thought it was so great...! A week or so ago, I believe it was during the Olympics ,I heard an announcer say, "Oh, to be sixteen again!" And I very loudly said, "Yeah!" Adam was in the room at the time and looked at me kind of puzzled....then it hit me....I said, "Oh my God, he'd be almost eighteen now, wouldn't he?" It was then and there I had the full realization of all those sayings, "Frozen in time"..."forever young"...."never grow up"....it hit me SO hard then, he JUST STOPPED, one day, one moment, one heart beat, one BLINK OF AN EYE, he just stopped . While I've known this for a long time now, I think I just realized it recently....it's a VERY STRANGE realization....I would't ask anyone to even try to imagine it.... Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 03, 2002 at 22:25:50 (MST) Go ahead and mention my child, the one that was killed you know. Don't worry about hurting me further, The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry, I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing, all the tears that I try to hide. I'm hurting when you just keep silent, pretending he didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, knowing he has been missed. You asked me how I was doing, I said, "Pretty good" or "Fine" But healing is something ongoing, I know it will take a lifetime. REMEMBERING <AUTHOR UNKNOWN> - Sunday, March 03, 2002 at 15:12:24 (MST) 3/3/02....I told Adam to start changing the art every other day. Most unfortunatly, there is a limited # of his works. I seem to have an INFINATE # of photos so I asked him to continue changing them every day. Every time I go back through the photos I find at least ten we haven't put up here yet, I KNOW they'll run out some day but for now, we still have a good supply! This photo was taken in March, 1987, almost three. All he wanted for Christmas that year was a boy Cabbage Patch doll. Like everything they ever asked for...(with in reason)...for Christmas, he got it. He was SO happy to have him. He named him "Charlie Mike" and carried him where ever he went for a time. That's Chris hugging Charlie Mike and wearing his Mickey Mouse slippers, which he also loved. He wore them more than shoes! Unfortunatly, we lost track of Charlie Mike long before Chris was killed. I haven't seen him for years. I don't know if he was lost in our last move in 1992 or what happened to him. I'd LOVE to find him some day though. I'm not sure what I'd do with him. Maybe save him for the grandchildren I just KNOW I'll have some day! Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 03, 2002 at 14:30:40 (MST) Are you there Chris, can you hear me? Can you see the tears that fall, Can you feel the pain that builds up And backs me into a wall? Do you hear the thoughts inside my head The thoughts of despair and grief That cause me to cry as I go to bed And wake up with a dark cloud over my head? Do you hear me cry out your name? Hear me pray to God that I will wake up, And things will be different, not the same? Do you hear it Chris, do you? Are you there Chris....I miss you so... Please make things okay, Please make the grief be gone And make the happy thoughts stay. Are you there.....Chris?? Are You There Chris? <A Friend Not Over Him Yet> - Saturday, March 02, 2002 at 21:30:12 (MST) enjoyed your website. we lost our 25 year old son, Brian Aug. 5, 1995. george&joycevanhoorebeke <gvanhoorebeke@yahoo.com> terre haute, in - Saturday, March 02, 2002 at 16:37:39 (MST) Remember, your spirit lived within your child and your child's spirit will live on in you forever. It's up to you to grasp the spirit of your child and carry it on and share this with everyone you can. John Weir <TCF Georgia> - Saturday, March 02, 2002 at 16:21:54 (MST) 3/2/02....Chris called this his SEGMENTS self portrait. Notice even in a self portrait, the left eye is much smaller compared to the right! The photo was taken in August 1984. He was two months old. I believe we were in Buffalo for his Baptism. That's Chris and Cousin Joan. She was 16 months old at the time. It's so hard to believe it's been TWO YEARS this month since the vet recommended we have Charlie put to sleep! Chris was SO UPSET! Now here's Charlie so alive and well and living and Chris SO gone. It's also hard to believe it's been one year this month since I took on the difficult task of going through his room. When Chris was first killed, I couldn't even look in his room. The door HAD to be closed. When you go upstairs, our room is straight ahead, his room is to the left. You HAVE to walk by it to get to our room. I couldn't stand to see it so empty....just of him, all of his things were just as he had left them...heart wrenching. As time passed, I found I could actually go into his room and poke around but the door still had to be closed when I wasn't in it. As more time passed I was able to leave the door open more and more. The only reason we keep it closed now is to guard all the art work from Speck! It is still very hard to explain the feeling I still get when I'm in it. ALL of his things are still there. Many still right where he left them....and it's so strange to think these THINGS are still here but this beautiful, kind, talented boy is GONE...very weird. I am still at the place where I have to keep it his room. I don't see that changing for a long time. Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 02, 2002 at 16:17:38 (MST) 3/1/02....This is a drawing we found very recently in a notebook from 1997. He was a big fan. The photo is a repeat of the recent post of their last formal portrait, 1987. I remember the day it was taken SO vividly! It was SO crowded at the studio. We had about a three hour wait. At the last minute Chris had to go to the bathroom. I took them out into the mall, found a bathroom, and came back. While we were gone, they had called our name....about 1 minute before we got back. When I checked in they told me they had called our name and we missed it by a minute. Another woman and her child were about to go in. We were told we would be placed at the end of the list. I very calmly decided to reason with the customer rather than the establishment. I simply said, "PLEASE, you must have been waiting as long as we have, should I have chosen to let him pee on himself?, that wouldn't have made a very nice picture!" She thought for a second and said, "Let them go first" I thanked her VERY much, and that was the last portrait, unfortunatly, we ever had taken. There was a big write up on the front page of today's Observer about Rebecca's accident. Chris is mentioned briefly as a Franklin statistic. I mailed her family a card today, I have thought about them SO MUCH these last few days, actually reliving some BAD memories....the last day of the viewing....the day of the funeral.....and most horribly, the day after when reality sets in. Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 22:51:43 (MST) it's been a long time since I have written in here, Chris. But I havn't forgotten. After a while I just start to get numb. When I go past your corner I still blow a kiss...I always say to whoever is in the car "that's chris's corner" and they always say "I know you told me already"...it's habbit I guess. I still miss you so much. Sometimes I hear a song on the radio and think of you. See anything that has to do with art... I still pray for your family. I just wish there was more I could do. I love you Chris. Take care, bud tracy <tracyelaina@hotmail.com> - Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 22:26:53 (MST) so here i am, sitting in my rec room when i start to fall asleep. I slowly drift away not holding me back from the relaxation of the arms of the sand man. When i have this dream... ...more of a night mare if you ask me... ...a lot of my family and friends are floating by on rafts and such, chris there with us. At one point he falls into the water, not knowing whats going on i just observe, as he cant swim he just floats down into the water, and i watch and stare deep into the water, seeing his face dissapear beyond the weeds and waves. I want to save him so badly but nothing is letting me, something is holding me, keeping me from saving my dear friend. I wake out of fear, sweating and panting as when i was a child not being able to sleep any longer, not wanting to go back to the nightmares and clowns that await in my dreams. The next day i tell my mom about it, and her reply to me was this "It seems to me that you are feeling guilty and feel as though you couldve saved him but didnt, and couldnt." And so i lay back down thinking to myself "shes right" none of us could have saved him, but it wsnt our fault, no one was to blame for this, except maybe one damn truck. These dreams/nightmares continue on as if they mean not to stop and i still lay here not wanting to sleep with sweat on my brow and chin. I miss him, i really do. I always will, no matter how many years pass by, he will always be in my thoughts, along with his family! I love you all! punk <rocker> - Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 15:17:09 (MST) Hello, Thank you for sharing your website for you beautiful son. I lost my 18 year old son on December 14,2001. He too was an artist, had graduated from high school and was enrolled at Watkins College of Art here in Nashville. My heart aches constantly for my beautiful son, as I'm sure yours does. Marsha <nashtenn@yahoo.com> - Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 08:25:14 (MST) 2/28/02.....This is a flyer from the first in a series of benefit shows to raise money for the Chris Kempa Scholarship Fund. It was held on Jan. 20th 2001, just two months after he was killed. I know he was SO thrilled to have Hey Mercedes, formerly Braid play at a show in his memory! He was a big fan of theirs. I know he was also so proud and happy to have his brother and dear friends play in his memory too. I remember that night so vividly like so many others. After the show most of the bands came to the house for a late dinner which Claudia helped me prepare. The bands from out of town spent the night. It was one of those BAD "I wish he were here nights." He would have been SO in to it and would have had so much fun! The photo is another Claudia found recently from 1997. That's Chris' shoe and guitar at the top of the photo and Scott's shoe and guitar at the bottom of the photo! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 22:17:23 (MST) We live in a world with hatred and negative energy. We strive to find positive people and things to help us along the way. Chris was one of those super positive people in the world. He had the kindest and gentlest heart and the most positive and beautiful personality I have ever known. Nothing has had such a profound effect in my life as losing Chris, but I am not alone. The family and long circle of friends he has brought together is phenominal. He was such a special person. I will never find another person quite like Chris and I will never forget him. A Franklin Student <Class of 2002> - Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 18:21:02 (MST) I also agree with the fact that you shouldn't always blame it on the driver, until you know the exact details. Yes, most of the time the driver is indeed at fault, but you just never know. It's really sad about what just happened, my prayers go out to Rebecca's family. I did not know Rebecca myself, but my prayers are with her. I really don't understand why there's gotta be so much animosity on this website.. people grow up! This site is dedicated to a very special person that we lost. Only good things should be written in here. If u wanna argue and bicker with eachother, I suggest you do it somewhere else. I believe that to be very disrespectful, not only to Chris' family, but Chris. No one knows the true story of all that happened, unless you happened to witness it. We shouldn't argue about it. Someone died, it's very overwhelming... but why argue about how she died or who's at fault? I just hope everyone knows where I'm coming from. Franklin alumni - Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 17:17:14 (MST) Anymous.......Ok it's starting all over again back and forth on this site to remember Chris..And that is too bad...I was not putting BLAME ON ANYONE...What happened was an accident!!!!!It's obvious the guy did not meen to kill Rebecca...It doesn't matter if she was jwalking Pedesterians come FIRST when driving if one is in your way you can't just hit them and drive off..I was just saying that all of us should be more aware while we are driving...I didn't even know Chris but his death made me aware...I'm sorry that you feel soo deffencive but I wasn't trying to put blame on anyone that's not what this site is for and not what I had in mind..Sorry for all of this confussion I feel horrible that on the count of me we are forced to be objected to this again... Christina - Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 10:37:39 (MST) 2/27/02...This is one of the drawings from one of his sketch books. Don't know the date, but definatly high school. This is another photo Claudia found recently. Judging by Chris' hair, we figure it was 7th grade, so 1997. That's Chris, Scott and Louis. We don't remember Louis' last name. The name of their band at the time was, The Radioactive Easter Eggs! I had a very sad phone call today. When I answered , a young girl's voice said, "Hello, this is The College For creative Studies admissions calling, may I please speak to Chris?" I pretty much lost it right then and said, "I'm very sorry to have to say this, but Chris was killed, he doesn't live here any more." The poor girl could only say over and over, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" I just said, "It's OK, you didn't know." It took me awhile to regain my composure. Then all I could think was how EXCITING that call would have been if he were still here! Yesterday he received a piece of mail from The Art Institute of Pittsburgh. They will be in Livonia Tues. and Wed. March 12th and 13th. I know he would have been there. The interesting thing to me about this piece of mail was the way it was addressed. It was addressed to: Chris Kempa 11405 Livonia Mi. 48150.....NO STREET but it still got here! That amazed me! I've been trying to send my sister in law a check for flowers for weeks... to her CORRECT address...it's come back twice now!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 22:26:09 (MST) A little story for Anonymous. A couple months ago when coming home in the wee, DARK hours of the morning after working my midnight shift I turned east on Ann Arbor Trail from Wayne. I had only gone a short distance when out of the blue and completely unexpected in City limits, 2 deer ran out in front of my car. I calmly put on the ABS, did not hit them and did not swerve off the road either. It was a pretty scary adventure and I hope that had it been 2 human beings the results would have been the same. You have to always be aware of your surroundings, expect the unexpected, especially in the dark, and keep the speed down so you can stop in short distance time if need be. Yes, accidents do happen, always will, but many can be avoided. MCS - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 19:21:19 (MST) I wanted to let you know that the picture is really neat. To anonymous, everyone is entitled to an opinion. Don't be afraid to put your name here. I think we would all like to find the answer to this puzzle of why Livonia seems to be having so many car accidents(?) that are taking so many lives that are so needed here. This is not a time to separate but to band together to find solutions. Are you with us or against us? No one is a perfect driver or walker All the time but maybe the past can help the future. Please keep your eye on the road All pedestrians and drivers All the time! Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 17:33:24 (MST) 2/26/02.....another fun sketch he did of Cori on her Anne Of green Gables program. Underneath his signature he wrote, "more from me inside" That Sat. night, 11/18/00, was the last time Chris was at Franklin alive. The photo is one Claudia found months after he was killed. It was taken Freshman year, 1999. Scott said they were taking each other's picture in preparation for the cover of their first CD! She gave us an enlarged copy in a beautiful frame and it's on the mantle with many other Chris things. Last night we stopped at Rebecca's memorial and lit a candle...very sad. As it turns out, the Memorial at Joy and Middlebelt is for the two women who were killed last week. Rebecca's is just north of Joy, on the west side of Middlebelt at Dover. And as usual, MCS is right on with her last entry. There is no need for me to say any more. I'm glad I waited. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 13:52:20 (MST) No one can place blame either which way because no one knows the whole story except the driver and the victim and even those facts must be sifted through very carefully before any real final verdict can be reached. It can take days, weeks, months, years. All things are not always so clear cut from the beginning as you are led to believe. Just everyone be careful out there in your travels whether driving or walking. MCS - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 12:24:38 (MST) to Franklin Student: i did not intend any negativity in my message, and i apologize if it was interpreted that way. i was simply telling Christina not to place 100% of the blame on the driver. if there was any negativity intentionally expressed here, it was on her behalf. anonymous - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 11:38:55 (MST) Even crossing the street carefully or standing off the road does not always cut it these days. There needs to be a better sharing of road space. Just because you are in a car doesn't mean that the road is all yours to do with as you please and in any condition you please. MCS - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 09:33:37 (MST) Our children do no believe that anything will happen to them and we must remind them over and over that they must be careful when crossing the street. A Mom - Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 07:47:57 (MST) 2/26/02.....Too late at night to express ALL my thoughts even though there are many...How can anyone even attempt to judge if they were not there? Shades of JR revisited and it makes me SO SICK! Fran Kempa - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 23:07:16 (MST) All I know is that an accident can be reported one way, but yet not have actually happened exactly as reported. Depending on whether it was Livonia or Westland Police that arrived on the scene, I hope it was investigated thoroughly and not written off as just a girl jaywalking. Sometimes there is much more than what is seen and what is reported. I would find it quite incredibly rare that a person of that age would just walk in the path of an oncoming car. MCS - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 21:46:21 (MST) To Anonymous, do you know what happened? did you witness the accendent? if not then you shouldn't be talking. this website has already gone thourgh enough back talking and harshful things that people have commented, so don't put your negitivity in this site, we don't want anymore of that. this website is here for people to say positive things, not negitive. so if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all on this site, we don't want to hear it. i'm just giving you the facts straight up, we don't want negitivity in this site anymore. thank you. franklin student - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 21:30:05 (MST) to Christina: i truly am sorry to hear of Rebecca's death, and my thoughts and prayers go out to her family, but you apparently don't know what happened. Rebecca jaywalked illegally, and stepped into a lane with traffic coming at her, so how can you place all of the blame on the driver? this did not happen in an intersection, so slowing down in the intersection would have had nothing to do with a block later. no offense, but next time you comment, please know the full details first. anonymous - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 20:45:27 (MST) Another very difficult, very trying time. As I look at the picture of the once happy Kempa family, the realization of yet another family suffering the same makes me angry and sad. I was already angry at the drunk driver who took two lives Wednesday in the same area of that intersection and I don't know the particulars of this latest tragedy, but something surely has to change out there on the roads. PLEASE keep your eyes on the road and PLEASE don't drink and drive. It's scary out there! MCS - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 18:52:55 (MST) I also drove past the intersection last night...I found it to be heart renching...Another child kild from someone else's mistake...I couldn't help but think didn't Chris death teach that driver anything? I know for myself I totally slow down atleast 5 below maybe 10 when I go through an intersection now....It's also so much for me to grasp that another Franklin student has died it seems to me every few months another child dies...When I was in high school I was in a strange way fortunate to only have to deal with 2 friends dying...And it was so hard..I am gonna pray for Rebecca's family and friends...Now after too accidents so close to one another maybe this will make drivers more aware!! Christina - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 17:12:46 (MST) Franklin students are loving and so special in a way that I can never quite put into words for others to understand. I feel blessed everyday to work with them and watch them grow as students and people. Our Franklin community has suffered tremendously from the loss of so many of our beautiful kids...we mourn and remember together, as a family. Our hearts always lead the way. I couldn't be more proud to be working with the most wonderful kids in Livonia...Franklin teenagers! Kempas, as always, I keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Ms. Hillman - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 16:15:28 (MST) All I've gotten from the news is that Rebecca died after an accident about 6:20 pm Saturday. She was crossing the street at the intersection of Middlebelt and Dover when a motorist struck her. Visitation Monday 4-9, Tuesday 12-9, Rosary 7:30 pm Tuesday, Services Wednesday 10 am., John Santeiu & Son, 1139 Inkster. Daughter of Dawn and Ken. Sister of Ken Jr. and Katie. Praying for all. My heart breaks. MCS - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:58:19 (MST) I drove by the corner of Middlebelt and Joy this afternoon. I was so happy to see a beautiful Memorial. I was also happy to see it's on the Westland side of the road. These poor parents won't have to put up with the City of Livonia. Does anyone know what happened? Was Rebecca going to Wendy's? Was she alone or with a group? Was the driver drunk? A Franklin Mom - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:39:38 (MST) "Undesirables". Yep, I was straight to my face ridiculed for sending my child to Franklin after nine years of parochial school by some parochial school parents. Haha! I got the last laugh because it was the BEST decision we ever made. Franklin is Livonia's Best Kept Secret!! It's comfortable size makes it feel like family. I've never met a more wonderful and caring Staff. The kids are GREAT! Good times, good fun, good education, many wonderful memories. I just wish it wasn't known for so many tragedies. MCS - Monday, February 25, 2002 at 03:42:23 (MST) 2/25/02...This is a fun sketch he did of Cori I believe in Nov. 2000, shortly before he was killed. Above the arrow at the top he wrote, "Cori". Above the arrow to the left he wrote, Power Puff, "I bought her!" The photo is one of the last we had taken as a family. It was taken on August 25, 2000. We were in Buffalo for my parent's 50th Anniversary party. We were visiting Grandma Kempa's house when the photo was taken. Little did we know, we'd be back in Buffalo just one week later for her wake and funeral. And little did ANYONE know, the Buffalonians would be in Detroit less than three months later for Chris' wake and funeral. I was SO SORRY to learn of yet another tragic loss of a Franklin student. I had not heard it on the news or read it in the paper. I learned of it here. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family. I will make contact with them somehow. I said this after the last tragic loss of Franklin students just a few weeks ago. If I knew then about Franklin, what I know now, I would have moved before my kids reached high school age. About the early to mid 90's, before Adam started High school, many people were moving out of the neighborhood as their kids reached this age. The story was, they were moving into neighborhoods in the other two Livonia high school areas, or out of Livonia Schools all together. It seemed these people didn't want their kids to go to Franklin. They claimed that's where all the "undesireables" went. Claudia and I thought that was so foolish. You'll find "undesireables" where ever you go. The key is whether or not you'll be influenced by them. Any experience in life is what you make of it. So we, being confident in our parenting, and loving our houses and neighborhood, chose to send our kids to their neighborhood school, Franklin....and am I ever glad I did. I couldn't have asked for a better high school experience for either Adam or Chris. Both boys just took off there....they matured and flourished and for the most part, LOVED the school! What I meant when I said I'd have moved was the death rate! I can't believe how many Franklin kids have been killed over the years compared to Churchill and Stevenson. Franklin unfortunatly is by far in the lead, and MOST unfortunatly, one of those kids was mine! Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 22:42:20 (MST) it makes me sad when just thinking that another student from franklin was hit a killed by a car at such a young age. when i first heard about the accedent, it just made me think of what happened last year with chris, how shocked and upset i was. i didn't know rebecca, but my thoughts and prayers goes out to the people that did know her...to her friends, i know what your feeling, losing a friend like that, just think of the good things...not the bad...i learened the hard way last year trying to get over chris's death. once again, i'm sorry for the family, friends and who ever else that knew her. my prayers go out to you guys. Katie B. - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 21:03:17 (MST) Her name was Rebecca Sandoffsky, a freshman at Franklin. Let us keep her family, friends and teachers in our thoughts and prayers. Ms. Hillman <Franklin Teacher> - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 18:33:45 (MST) Prayers and thoughts for the Freshman, her family, friends and Franklin Community. Does anyone know her name? Chris will surely be there for her. There was a horrible accident there Wednesday night too. Keep your eyes on the road and please don't drink and drive. MCS - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 17:50:29 (MST) a girl got hit and killed last night, a freshman at Franklin. She was hit yesterday evening at middlebelt and joy. I know Chris will be up there taking care of her..... she's safe with him:) rich - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 14:19:19 (MST) Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, you are you, And the old life we lived so fondly together, Is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we laughed at the little jokes That we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be the household word that it always was. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you , for an interval, Somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt, nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again! From Shakespeare's <"The Tempest"> - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 13:58:01 (MST) Just a thought and the way I have to believe it happens in my heart...The next Spielberg or Disney may very well be inspired by the artwork, spirit or memory of Chris Kempa...that is the amazing power of his life and memory. Somehow, Chris' dreams may come true somewhere, somehow...only we, as the living, may not see it up close and personal...Chris continues to inspire, I see it all of the time in the kids I teach...and I believe he always will. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with the Kempa family... Ms. Hillman - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 13:21:55 (MST) hey, I haven't written here in a long time, so I thought I would jot down some stuff thats on my mind. I've been thinking about you a lot Chris, and I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and love you so much. You've always been one of my closet friends. It's been great working at Larry's with you, despite all the managers.. but other than that, seeing your smiling face everyday was a pleasure. It's been great knowing you, and I'll never forget about you as long as I live. I just wanted to send my regards to Mr. and Mrs.Kempa.. hope all is well with you guys. If u ever need anything I am here for you. Chris and his family are very special to me, and I will hold them in my heart forever. God Bless! Dawn Balint <RdoggO69@cs.com> - Sunday, February 24, 2002 at 12:02:25 (MST) 2/24/02....This art is one of the covers Chris drew for one of the CDs he made at home. Thus the title.....Chris Kempa @ Home. I'm quite sure it was made in 2000. The photo is another, and I think the last of the bunch from August 2000. Beth labeled the back of this one : "Lake Superior, Pictured Rocks National Shoreline" They were duck walking on the beach! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 23:11:33 (MST) On my drive to work the other day I heard on the news a "sound bite" of of the Gold medal winner in women's figure skating. It was her as a little girl saying that when she grew up she wanted to win a gold medal at the Olympics. The newsman then said "dreams really do come true". It made me very sad. Chris's dream to be the next Walt Disney or Spielberg can never be......He won't even get the chance to try....... Dad <<<<<0>>>>>> - Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 20:44:16 (MST) Last night while I was trying to sleep, My son's voice I did hear. I opened my eyes and looked around, But he did not appear. He said, "Mom, you've got to listen, You've got to understand, God didn't take me from you Mom, He only took my hand. When I called out in fear and pain that mourn The instant that I died, He reached down and took my hand, And pulled me to his side. He pulled me up and saved me From the misery and the pain My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same. My search is really over now, I've found hapiness within, All the answers to my dreams And all that might have been. I love you all and miss you so I'll always be nearby My body's gone forever But my spirit will NEVER die! And so, you must all go on now, Live one day at a time.... Just understand God didn't take me from you, He only took my hand!" He Only Took My Hand <Author Unknown> - Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 11:42:42 (MST) AND HOLDING UP HIS RIGHT HAND AS IF TO SAY>>>>>>> STOP kathy <mskatep> - Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 09:31:49 (MST) Can't help but notice that in today's art entry, Chris is viewing throgh THE LEFT EYE. KATHY <mskatep> - Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 09:30:15 (MST) 2/23/02....this is a fun sketch he did of himself on the back of the paper Angie Hillman found a few weeks ago in a cupboard in her class room. It was done the first day of her Radio and TV class August, 2000 as an assignment. From reading it I guess they were told to tell why they took the class and a little about themselves. Typical Chris, there is no date on the paper, just 5th hour Chris Kempa. It reads as follows: Dear Ms. Hillman, I took this class to get a better knowledge of editing. I mean I have some ideas cause I edit things at home. Hobbies....well I'm into directing "flicks", films, movies, but what I mainly like to do is to add the special effects. Not like a guy in a suit or a horrible make up job, I like to go into the computer and make the IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE for other directors and their films. Also I direct or not direct...that's your job. I film the plays or help film. My family is very boring. A brother who eats and sleeps is not too fun to have around. My parents are parents they're cool I guess when it comes to parents and that's about it. My brother is never home well barely but if he is, he makes his presence known. "He is REALLY annoying!" but I love him in a strange way. Work well I love work....ha ha no not really but I work at Larry's Foodland as a cashier and it's fun I guess. I don't work much only like 20 hours a week and that's work for you. My health is normal. I am always calm. I never jump around or slack off or sleep or whatever. I don't have any problems. I may go to the RCR but it doesn't mean I'm retarted so yeah. And no this class doesn't scare me at all. I'm also an artist who writes really crappy...sorry I was in a rush to finish this so sorry, here's a picture. On the T shirt in the picture he wrote: "Film Dork and an Art Boy." The photo was also taken in August 2000. Beth labeled the back: Chris and Casey, Moccasin Lake. Fran Kempa - Friday, February 22, 2002 at 23:00:37 (MST) I've been so busy lately with school and what not. Tonight was the first time I've read the entries in about 2 weeks. I got that feeling inside of me that I always get once I'm finished reading the entries. It's a feeling of goodness. That people are still coming to the website after so long. Still writing, giving opinions,and sharing the love of such a wonderful person. I'm glad to be back checking up on things. How's Chris' Gallery coming along Mrs. Kempa? I bet it's looking great. Still happy with all of the wonderful entries I read. Hope all is well. Colleen Marie - Friday, February 22, 2002 at 21:28:15 (MST) 2/22/02.....Oddly enough, the art is yet another LEFT EYE! We have it hanging in our living room. When Mr. Rheault brought this piece to the Funeral Home, he commented on the yellow frame. He said they were in a hury to get it ready for an art show and he happened to have that frame in the art room. He indicated he thought the yellow was a bit too yellow and perhaps we should change it. We never have. That would be like changing Chris' work. Chris always said his intention was to draw three more pieces. One, a right eye, one a nose, and one a mouth. Then hang them all together so they formed a face! Neat idea, too bad he never got the chance. But isn't it interesting, out of a four piece work, the one he started with and the only one completed was the LEFT EYE! THe photo is labeled: Au Train Beach, Lake Superior. Meghan, Chris, Ashley, Casey (the buried ones)and Ginny. That's Ginny's knee. In the photo you can see all of her, but when Adam put the pic here he cut most of her off.........I have a BAD flu!! Fran Kempa - Friday, February 22, 2002 at 12:03:47 (MST) hopefully the truth will come out sometime soon?! <> - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 19:54:47 (MST) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Thursday, February 21, 2002 at 15:44:17 (MST) I thought the hurt was ending, I thought the pain had gone, But now I've turned the corner, and discovered I was wrong. The pain's returned anew, the tears again are falling. As my arms ache to hold you ,my mind, your name keeps calling. Now I find I look for you amongst the boys I see. I wonder what you'd be doing, and think of how you'd be, At times I catch your eyes in the faces around me And no matter how I try, from this pain I can't get free. Yes, I thought that I was better, Though it hasn't been that long, But now I see things clearer and admit that I was wrong. The road ahead's just starting, With it's path not yet in view Still I know pitfalls await me, As I journey along without you! I WAS WRONG........... - Wednesday, February 20, 2002 at 16:31:30 (MST) 2/20/02....Fifteen months! As that last poem says, "seems like forever, seems like a day" That is so true. Some days I still feel like I'll see him skateboarding around the neighborhood or cutting across the grass to the front door on his way home from school. Then other days....other days I wonder silently, "did he really ever exist?" The art is the drawing Mr. Rheault found in the art room and Scott brought to the door a few months ago while I was watching the video, WHAT DREAMS MAY COME. At the time I considered it a sign as I still do. The photo is another taken in August 2000 at Casey's cottage. Beth labeled the back of this one: "Chris and Megan (she must be the image to the left) Au Train River Bridge 8/00" I remember very vividly talking to him that night. He said, "Yea Mom, today we jumped off a bridge!" And I said, "You did WHAT!!" and he said, "Don't worry Mom, they do it all the time, I'm OK!" It's things like that you DO worry about.....NOT walking to school! I took the terraurim to our neighborhood florist, Cardwell today. For eleven years, if we needed a florist it was them. They did Chris' funeral flowers as well as flowers for him for happy occassions. I took it inside and said, "This has a lot of sentimental value for my son,unfortunatly our puppy got a hold of it! Do you think you can salvage as much of the original as possible and redo the rest?" The florist said, "That won't be a problem.... name?" And I said ,"Kempa", and spelled it. She said, "Oh Mrs. Kempa, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, how are you doing?" And I said, "I'm OK, but now that you know who I am, I want you to know this was from his brother's funeral plants and it means a lot." She assured me it was not a problem and asked me to remind her of our phone #. As I gave it to her I couldn't help crying! She then said, "Don't worry Mrs. Kempa, I promise we'll do a good job." And I said, "Thank you so much" and left. We should have the finished product sometime next week. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 22:59:07 (MST) It's been 15 months since you went away; It seems like forever, seems like a day; I can still hear your laughter, still see your smile; I hope that your essence will linger awhile; To give me the courage I need to go on; To know that your spirit will NEVER be gone; You filled our hearts and brightened our day; And I'll always be grateful that you passed our way; Though the time that you had here was not very long; You managed to fill our family with song; You were an example to those that you knew; You were patient, kind and loving too; You lived your life well and finished the race; And we'll all meet again in the glow of God's grace. Author Unknown - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 15:53:17 (MST) 2/19/02...I forgot to add, Ginny is the girl who made Chris the braided necklace and bracelet that he wore constantly. From the day she made them, until the day he was killed, he never took them off. He even wore them in the shower. I remember on 8/26/00, at my parent's 50th anniversary party, and the next week at Grandma Kempa's funeral making him tuck the necklace in his shirt because I didn't think it was appropriate. He complied but made me tuck it in. On 11/20/00 Adam W. asked the ER nurse to cut them off his neck and wrist right before we left. Adam w. has the necklace, Adam F. has the bracelet. I'm sure at the time she was making them she had NO IDEA what she was really making was a wonderful keepsake for his brother and father. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 10:34:57 (MST) 2/19/02...the art is another sketch from a school paper, with special attention to the eyes. The photo is another from 8/00. Beth labeled the back, "Lake Superior Beach Chris and Ginny" Chris met Ginny earlier that summer when she came to stay at her cousins house for a long visit. She came over to our house a few times to go swimming with Chris and Casey. She's a beautiful girl. She REALLY liked Chris. When I would ask him about her he would say, "Mom, she's beautiful, but she's too young." Chris was 16 at the time, Ginny was only 13. Still, they had a lot of fun together. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 10:12:47 (MST) 2/18/02....The art is a very tiny sketch he made on one of his sixth grade Science papers so that would be 1996. The photo is another taken during his Up North adventure 8/00. That's Chris and Casey with Lake Superior as the back drop. I swear, he LIVED in that sweatshirt! I am SO happy he had given it to Cori the Sat. before he was killed and preserved it for his brother. Even though Adam hasn't worn it this year, I know it means a lot to him to have it. We gave MANY of the plants from his funeral to friends. We kept three large ones and I'm happy to say they are still flourishing under the skylight in the upstairs bathroom, they surround the tub. It may seem like a funny place to put them to some but I swear, that was one of the first things Chris insipred me to do after he was killed! I was putting them in different places ALL OVER the house and then all of a sudden, somethig just told me to put them there...they love the spot! Anyway....Adam kept one plant for his room, a terrarium.(I have no idea how to spell it) He kept it on his desk. It was very low maintainance with gravel, bark and cactus. It too was doing well until Speck got a hold of it the other night! The container and gravel weren't damaged, the bark is a little worse for the encounter but the plants were a total loss...I don't see how he could chew cactus...but he did! The idea came to me last night to take everything to a florist, as is, and ask them to salvage as much of the original as possible and replace the rest. I ran the idea by Adam W. tonight and he seemed pleased. I will do that Mon. or Tues. He rearranged his room tonight to make it more difficult for Speck to climb on his desk! Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 17, 2002 at 22:42:52 (MST) The Five Stage of Grief The night I lost you someone pointed me towards the Five Stages of Grief Go that way, they said, it's easy, like learning to climb stairs after the amputation. And so I climbed. Denial was first. I sat down at breakfast carefully setting the table for two. I passed you the toast--- you sat there. I passed you the paper---you hid behind it. Anger seemed so familiar. I burned the toast, snatched the paper and read the headlines myself. But they mentioned your departure, and so I moved on to Bargaining. What could I exchange for you? The silence after storms? My typing fingers? Before I could decide, Depression came puffing up, a poor relation its suitcase tied together with string. In the suitcase were bandages for the eyes and bottles sleep. I slid all the way down the stairs feeling nothing. And all the time Hope flashed on and off in detective neon. Hope was a signpost pointing straight in the air. Hope was my uncle's middle name, he died of it. After a year I am still climbing, though my feet slip on your stone face. The treeline has long since disappeared; green is a color I have forgotten. But now I see what I am climbing towards: Acceptance written in capital letters, a special headline: Acceptance its name is in lights. I struggle on, waving and shouting. Below, my whole life spreads its surf, all the landscapes I've ever known or dreamed of. Below a fish jumps: the pulse in your neck. Acceptance. I finally reach it. But something is wrong. Grief is a circular staircse. I have lost you. Linda Pastan -- USA - Sunday, February 17, 2002 at 22:24:27 (MST) this is national Black history month. i was visiting my cousin in Taylor. they had all these posters up with quotes from famous black people on them at the library. the one from oprah winfrey really made me think of Chris and all that could have been. "when I look at the future it's so bright it burns my eyes." That's how it was when Chris looked ahead in his life M.J. - Sunday, February 17, 2002 at 14:22:36 (MST) 2/17/02....forgot to say...hope everyone had a great time at the Coming home dance last night. Chris was there too, dancing on the ceiling....you just couldn't see him! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 16, 2002 at 23:01:49 (MST) 2/17/02...Just another whimsical sketch. Don't know the when or why. The photo is one of many Casey Mack gave me from his Mom ,Beth, at the candle light vigil 11/20/01. I was SO HAPPY to get them! They were taken in mid August 2000 just three months before he was killed. Chris had gone to Casey's cottage in Munising, WAY up North for ten days. I had warned him, if he became homesick, it was too far to go get him...but he INSISTED!...And as always...I gave in! By the second day into his stay he was calling us, or we were calling him EVERY night...he was SO homesick! That is the last time I remember him telling us how much he loved us....I think for most boys, when you reach a certain age, the kissey, huggey period has ended. I remember at the time, when he said it, being SO touched, and then after he was killed, thinking back to the moment and feeling confident about our love for each other....anyway...by about the fifth day, during our nightly conversation, he blurted out, "I MISS you guys, I LOVE you guys and when I come home I'm going to give you a BIG hug!!" As it turned out, when he came home, I was the only one home. I was SOOOO HAPPY to see him as he was to see me. And we did just that, we gave each other a BIG hug! But he SMELLED! I said, "Oh my God Chris, didn't you take a shower?" And he explained, for some reason he only took one in ten days! I pointed him toward the shower, he took one, then the next thing I knew, he was online, catching up with his many friends. He was HOME....and everything was back to normal!!! Beth labeled the back of the photo: Lake Superior 8/00...Ashley (Casey's sister), Chris (Note that sweatshirt!), Ginny (Casey's cousin) and Casey. Even though he was so homesick, he had some WONDERFUL times in a beautiful setting. I know it was a wonderful, though brief, memory for him! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 16, 2002 at 22:56:36 (MST) I appreciate very much the idea of keeping Chris alive through the collection and exhibition of photographs and his artwork, which he did so extremely well. Aldo Grimaldi - Rome, Italy <mailbox@aldogrimaldi.com> - Saturday, February 16, 2002 at 09:18:27 (MST) 2/16/02....just another random sketch...don't know the when or why. But once again, note the LEFT eye is totally out of proportion to the right! The photo is another new one from Homecoming 1999. Since tonight is the Coming Home dance, I thought it would be good to continue the theme. I think if he was still here, he would have taken Cori as his date, and doubled with Caleb and Collen. Obviously, just a guess. Who can say where 15 months would have brought him! It's hard to believe, it is one year today I received the phone call from the city demanding the removal of the Menorial. If the rest of my years continue to fly by at such a rate, I'll be seeing Chris again soon! I am very HAPPY to say, despite three trashings from driver and company, the Memorial still stands today! I honestly believe people who don't know the story, and I believe that is most, don't even notice it. And those who do notice it just think, "What a pretty corner" especially in the spring and summer when the flowers are there. I just can't imagine, as long as I live here, not recognizing that corner. And if some people STILL have a problem with it, "OH WELL" Walk a mile in my shoes and then we'll talk. Fran Kempa - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 22:40:39 (MST) Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 21:20:29 (MST) I am coming....I am leaving. There is no beginning...There is no ending. My heart is filled with remembering... A Journey Home <Elisabeth> - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 19:16:39 (MST) You've followed the rainbow, I still feel the rain; You're safely in Heaven For me there's still pain. But new days still dawn, Life does have a way, Of taking us onward, Day after day. I know our reunion Will one day be grand, But I long to reach out And take hold of your hand. For now, for the time That we must be apart, I'll just keep you tucked safely Right here in my heart. Missing Chris - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 18:30:10 (MST) 2/15/02....The art is the inside of yesterday's Valentine. If you look closely you can see the little Waldo character drawn there. The photo is another new one of Chris and Rebecca, Homecoming 1999. The exotic deli girl was back at Larry's yesterday and she had out done herself! Her hair was DEEP purple and styled in about 15 spikes and I smiled! I was finally able to talk to her without other customers around. I said, "My son used to work here and he would have LOVED your hair!" She said thank you but asked no details and I offered none. She then said one of "My managers" talked to me today about it, "I can't spike it any more!" I said, "Well tell him your customers like it, they enjoy it!" she smiled and said she would but didn't think it would change his mind! We had Chineese food from Chin's last night. Chris LOVED Chineese food, Almond Chicken was his most favorite. From the time he could talk, until the day he was killed, he called it "China food" I talked to Adam W. from work today about his BUSY weekend, trying to figure out when I'd see him again. When I hung up I told the afternoon nurse who has three young children, "That's what happens when they turn 20, you don't see them for days!" Then I said "that's just one of the things I miss about Chris, he still needed mothering. Some days I don't feel like a mother anymore." She said "well go home and mother your dogs." I told her I absolutly do do that but somehow it's just not the same.... Fran Kempa - Friday, February 15, 2002 at 16:46:32 (MST) 2/14/02....this is the other homemade Valentine I saved that Chris made for me. I know there were others over the years but I just saved the two. I'm guessing 1992, second grade, because of the Where's Waldo? theme. The picture is another of Chris and Rebecca taken in Oct. 1999 before Homecoming. I went to the dentist today. They have a new hygenist. As she worked she asked the typical, "Any kids?" question. So I told her the whole sad story. One of the last things she said summed it up pretty well..."Wow, they gambled and you lost." I had to agree that was a pretty accurate statement. I take it from Jason's latest entry, graduation will be June 12th. The day he should have graduated. He'd have been 18 for two days! I also found out this weekend is the Coming Home dance. It's hard to believe it's the second one he's missed. I know he would have worn the same suit he made me promise I'd buy him for the 2001 dance! I was scheduled for jury duty on 2/20/02...the fourth time in six years! I called today and postponed it. When the very nice lady asked me why I told her and said the 20th of the month is always a bad day for me. She agreed that it must be. Happy Valentines Day Chris! I know if you were here you'd be celebrating someway, somehow. That's exactly what I hope you're doing in Heaven! I love you and miss you forever!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 14, 2002 at 11:34:14 (MST) 2/13/02...The art is one of two homemade Valentines I saved that Chris made me. I would guess maybe first grade. The photo was taken before Homecoming 1999 at Deady's house, Sophomore year. That's Chris, Rebecca Gates (Bridgeman), Katie Williams and Caleb Deady. We found it in one of Deady's photo albums in December. I think it's a very good picture of both girls. Yesterday at work there were many TVs on around me as they announced the Academy Award nominations. I couldn't help hearing they've started a new category this year, Best Animated film. Chris would have been SO excited. It would have given him incentive to work even harder at his anomating. I always kidded him about remembering me in his speech when he accepted his award. I honestly believe he may have had a shot....but now we'll never know. One of the Restorative nurses at work gave me a CD to copy. She said she first heard the song on Alley McBeal and as soon as she heard it she thought of me and Chris. She then felt compelled to track it down and did. When I saw the CD cover I recognized the artist as the young man I saw on Charlotte Church's Christmas show on PBS, Josh Groban. The song is titled, To Where You Are. I've only listened to it once because as she predicted, it made me cry. I know I WILL listen to it again though. I found another Chris writing in the computer files last night. This one I know was meant to be a song as it's titled: Song #5. By Chris Kempa I send my ways to a simple goodbye goodluck see you next summer or the holidays I wish I could change this but it's for the best It's for the best I guess I will miss you in the end My heart crushed But you don't care, so I won't just remember, live life well this is all for the best this is all for the best to a simple goodbye if you meet another guy that's when the roll for another time to cry kicks in. this is all for the best all for the best live life well live life well remember to call me next December My line is open. Even some of the lines in this one get me. I learned there is one more despicable human being in the world today..most unfortunatly for the rest of us. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 15:25:41 (MST) Yes, the truth will certainly come out. The poem is definitely eerie as is all the drawings of "eyes". I think it is Chris' way to say, Keep Fighting for the Truth. Who would have imagined that his writings and drawings would tell such a story, unbeknownst to even himself. Incredible! MCS - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 14:14:43 (MST) Wow Kempa's the poem you found on the computer is good but very strange if you think about it.....That line about the car and driving down the road sent shivers down my spine.....My mom always tells me god has a plan for everyone but somehow it's hard for me to think that such a tallented person's plan was to be taken away like this..I totally agree with Jason time goes bye so fast the memories that we have of yesterday we will have for tomorrow the rest of our lives..I know how much Chris ment to Jason,Jason and I have talked about it a few times...Don't forget the memories Jason and Kempa's your in my heart for Valenties day.... Christina - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 11:11:03 (MST) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<<0>>>>>>> - Wednesday, February 13, 2002 at 00:30:51 (MST) wow its only four months till graduation exactly. the time has flown bye so quickly. i still remember the days of 6th grade when wed go play at st mikes or just hangout. the other day i was cleaning my room and i came across my 8th grade yearbook from emerson. i was about to throw it out because we had a leak earlier this year and it got ruined, but i thought id look through the signatures once more when i noticed your name and a message that said "maybe you can come over and come swimming in my pool again this summer." and it had your phone number. it just really made me think that life is going way to fast and it needs to slow down. i just thought id say hi goodbye chris love woody jason - Tuesday, February 12, 2002 at 20:20:53 (MST) Losing a child is like an amputation. The wound closes over but the loss is forever felt. Healing may be a goal or a desire, but it isn't a choice. Healing is moving from a preoccupation with loss to assimilating it into our life. This may coccur with some losses. I don't think that this occurs with the loss of a child or a sudden and tragic death. When this happens, the wholeness of life ends. In these cases, we may find many things on our grief journey, but never "wholeness." ?????????????????????????????? <TCF Atlanta> - Tuesday, February 12, 2002 at 16:30:06 (MST) 2/12/02...A drawing of a LEFT EYE! Not sure when but I hope I'm wrong about why! The photo is another from Homecoming 1998. That's Chris McGlue, Jenny Macleod, Kerry Nance, Scott Allen, Michele Bardeleben and Chris. Thank you Claudia for finding these photos. She found them recently and let me make copies. We must have forgotten our camera that day. We only had the formal picture taken at school of Chris and Michele. Last year, about this time ,Michele gave us copies of the photos she had. Monday was a very "can't shake the thought of him" Chris day. Most of my driving was down Merriman Road. How can you not think, "This is the street my child was killed on" I do it every time I drive on it which is A LOT! My first stop was the Post Office. As I waited in line I saw the reminders for 18 year olds to register for selective service. All I could think was, "Chris would be 18 this year, how I WISH he could register for the DRAFT!" As I headed down Merriman toward Seven Mile, I passed Bryant Center, one of the last places we were together before he was killed..that Friday. Farmer Jack had Captin Crunch on sale, a big display as I walked in the door...that was Chris' last meal, peanut butter Captain Crunch...I haven't bought it since..no need. They also had shrimp on sale and I bought a pound. No one to share it with though. EVERYTHING is a reminder! Later this evening I called my sister in North Carolina. She put her four year old grandson on and the first thing he said was, "Where's Chris?" I said, "He's in heaven honey, with Jesus." He said, "does he ever come down?" And I said, choking back the tears, "Oh yes, I think he comes down all the time, we just can't see him...he's an angel." I had no reply to his reply which was," But you can see angels." I just asked him to put Bamma on the phone. As we talked, I went through all the stored files on the computer. I don't think I've ever taken the time to do that before. I was so happy to find we have many of his short videos and computer animations! How I wish we could put them on here somehow! I then found something he wrote under "MY DOCUMENTS" I'm not sure if it's a poem or a song, I guess it could be either. Considering what happened, once again, it's rather eerie. Especially the third and last stanza. Sometimes I Wonder By Chris Kempa Sometimes I wonder Has it all been Just wasted time? Like the distant thunder Sometimes missing Sometimes rhyme You say your thoughts are with us Your good wishes and prayers too you ask if there is anything Anything you can do. Still the long hours hang in mid air time stopped to examine Lost to deep dispair. When you turn the key start the car and roll off down the road. Slow down and look Once, twice and three times ease our heavy load. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 12, 2002 at 00:01:32 (MST) Another great picture and memory...it feels like the dance was just yesterday! What a fun time that was. I am so thankful for that night and all the memories from it. Thank you Chris for sharing your life with us! Michele - Monday, February 11, 2002 at 07:22:24 (MST) Jenny's date was Chris McGlue...that looks like a fun group! I am sure that they laughed all night! Ms. Hillman - Monday, February 11, 2002 at 03:59:00 (MST) 2/11/02....This drawing brings back a VIVID, FUNNY memory! When Chris was two and Adam was six, the Rubix cube was quite popular....Adam could do it in about two minutes...anyway...as a promotion for my father's insurance business, he had all these knock off Rubix cubes. Each little square, all different colors, had an insurance type saying on it like, LIFE, HEALTH, HOMEOWNERS etc....and each little square was an easily removed sticker. On one of our many trips to Buffalo, my father had given Adam one of these cubes. He kept it on his night stand. One night, Chris got out of his CRIB, and while Adam was sleeping, peeled all the little stickers off the cube and put them all over Adam's glasses (he slept with them on!) and mouth! He then climbed back into his crib. When Adam and I went to bed that night we checked on the kids first as we did every night. We checked Adam first as his room was the first one you came to as you came down the hall. We found him in that state!...he was still sleeping. We then checked on Chris and found him sitting up, smiling, VERY proud of what he had done to his brother! As it turned out, we smiled and laughed right along with him, got the camera and took pictures! It was SO funny!...and typical Chris. The drawing is one he did from the photos....he had no memory of the event, but Adam, Adam and I did and STILL do! The photo is another from Oct. 1998. that's Chris, Scott Allen, and I'm sorry to say, I don't remember the name of Jenny's date. Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 10, 2002 at 23:26:28 (MST) That picture takes me back to Homecoming! What a blast we had that night...honestly was one of the best dances that I've ever been to. I just wish that things could be like that again and that Chris would still be here to dance and smile and laugh with. But we all know that he's doing all those things up in heaven. I miss you Chris...know that I think about you everyday. Michele - Sunday, February 10, 2002 at 18:50:37 (MST) 2/10/02.....just another random sketch on a school paper, but once again, eerie in a way. The detached head and those eyes...look at those eyes! The photo is another taken in Oct 1998, just before Homecoming. All the kids gathered at Nance's house where they had this beautiful fall arrangement on their lawn. The tie is the one he loved, it was kind of artsy. It was the one he wore to all three Homecomings, was laid out and buried in. Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 10, 2002 at 09:55:08 (MST) Some things in life, are rotten and just unfair, some people get a good run, Others just don't get their share. Life doesn't last forever, sometimes it's cut way too short, try adding up the logic, and at times it'll come to nought. You would do anything for anyone, you would have given them the shirt off your back, you were kind, generous and caring, they were qualities that you never lacked. And some people live their life and they get their three score and ten, but some don't get to leave their mark, and others die lonely old men. But you will always be remembered, I'm sory that you were cut in your prime there can be no explanation, other than simply it was your time. And everything for a reason, even though it's not that clear, but your spirit is with us, you will always be near. And so life must go on, just like it has done before just know you will always be with us, yesterday, now and forever more! Author: Allen Jesson - Saturday, February 09, 2002 at 23:07:51 (MST) 2/9/02....totally unsure of the when or why of this drawing. Once again, to me it looks unfinished....another fleeting idea...then something better came along and he ran with that! That was Chris, ALWAYS a new idea or project in the works. Often times, they were just that, ideas. And even though he expressed them, they were never acted upon....but his mind was ALWAYS going. The photo was taken in Oct. 1998, Freshman year, at Homecoming. That's Chris and John Mezza. Special thanks to Kristin Ogden for the photo. Her Mom Renee gave it to me on New Years Eve at Allen's party. I had never seen it before and was so happy to get it! Thank you for The Circle Game entry....Joni Mitchell is another one of my favorite artists. I've been a big fan since the 70's and continue to be. In the song however, the years spin by and the boy becomes 20, for him there are new dreams, maybe better dreams...that will NEVER happen for Chris! The rest is true, we can't return, we can only look behind from where we came...we have no control, there is NOTHING we can do about it.....But how I WISH there was!!! Fran Kempa - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 23:25:33 (MST) ~~~~~~And the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down. We're captive on the carosel of time. We can't return we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round and round in the circle game~~~~~~ The Circle Game <Joni Mitchell> - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 20:36:14 (MST) 2/8/02....Today would have been a good day for Chris...no school! As much as he LOVED school, he loved his free time as much. Yesterday was a bad day for me...A VERY BAD Chris day. They still happen. I was trying to explain to Adam and Claudia how thoughts and feelings just sometimes come to me from out of the blue, for no apparent reasoon and I just can't shake them...they envelope me. Yesterday while I was at work, I was suddenly consumed with this thought. I thought about it ALL DAY. It boggles my mind how one family's problem became our family's problem in a heart beat only on a much greater scale! We didn't know these people, never knew they existed and God knows I wish it had stayed that way. I could have EASILY lived the rest of my life never knowing they existed. But now they have changed our lives forever. It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't seem right. But it happened. I could have easily lived the rest of my life not having to deal with such thoughts. I don't like them, but they come to me. All too often sometimes. Fran Kempa - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 14:59:39 (MST) today on the tv show, CSI, it showed the police having to knock on a parents' door to tell them that their child had been killed. I don't think I could possibly begin to imagine the pain your family must have been going though. My thoughts are with you. <<>> <<<>>> Kalamazoo, MI USA - Friday, February 08, 2002 at 01:20:12 (MST) 2/8/02....this "art" was done in third grade, 1993. I think they were told to do a self portrait from their class picture. In person, it's very clear, his shirt in the portrait consists of sky scrapers. Off to the left is Speiderman. I guess Speidy was going to do some climbing! This is just another example of how he personalized everything! he could have drawn just a normal shirt with checks or stripes, but that wasn't Chris! The photo was taken in 1996. Some friends had loaned him some street hockey gear. The shirt was another Chris original! He had taken a plain yellow T shirt and decorated it with permanent marker in hockeyisms! Once again, I remember SO VIVIDLY this moment. He was all suited up and BEGGED me to take his picture. "PLEASE Mom, PLEASE!" For a while all I would say was, "Why?" and all he said back each time was, "Because, I want you to!" So as always with Chris, and Adam for that matter, I gave in. But it wasn't that easy! Once I agreed to take his picture, we had to find the PERFECT spot! After MANY possible sites, we FINALLY agreed on a corner of the dining room. The light wall paper was a perfect contrast he decided. Then he began to move all the furniture around to clear a corner just for him! The result is the photo! Looking back, the whole process took hours as I recall, but they were SO worth it! Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 07, 2002 at 22:51:55 (MST) Cathie~ my "kids" and I put together that opening production for 8th grade parent night... and it was Cori Smith singing indeed! Along with Jenny Tocco and Sheila Turner! I agree, they were fabulous! Cori has an amazing voice...singing is as a part of her as art was to Chris! The students at Franklin are amazing and special and I feel blessed to work with them. Whether in conversation, a memory, a glance of artwork, or in a song sung by someone who loved him, Chris is always with us...and always will be. Ms. Hillman - Thursday, February 07, 2002 at 19:31:38 (MST) Dear Franny: I have an Angels calendar for 2002. Every day there is a beautiful quote or saying. I wanted to share the quote for today with you...because it reminds me that Chris is your special angel...always guiding and protecting. "Believe, even though you feel alone. Believe, even though you hear no song. Believe, even though you feel no touch. Believe, because you can see all around you.. the work of their hands" I know you receive signs from Chris all the time. Franny, I truly believe Chris remains in your presence each and every day and will not give up being a part of that...in his own way. Love you..and think of you and Chris daily. JoAnne <jgvpri@aol.com> - Thursday, February 07, 2002 at 15:47:48 (MST) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Thursday, February 07, 2002 at 13:03:47 (MST) 2/7/02....I think this drawing was something he sketched on one of his school papers from the packet we found recently in the basement from 1996. Another drawing that drove a Grant teacher CRAZY!! The photo was taken in 1993, the last game of their first year of Basketball. That's Scott Allen and Chris posing with their trophies! Thank you Cathie for your kind entry. If the Cori who sang had an absolutly beautiful voice, it was indeed Chris' Cori! She is a very talented, wonderful girl! And you are SO right, Chris would have been there tonight in the art room, trying hard to encourage kids to become interested in discovering their artistic side. "Just try it!" he would often say to his friends! I am so glad Chris is still inspiring people through this site! Your entry ,in addition to a letter we received recently in the mail from a girl who lives in San Francisco and goes to school in Boston makes me believe that. This site is here so people who knew Chris will never forget him...I will NEVER let that happen! And to make people who didn't know him wish they had! Instead of wondering when he'd be home from Freshman orientation, we spent our evening as we do the first Wed. of every month at our Compassionate Friends meeting. Once again, most unfortunatly, there were many new people there which only means, sadly, there are many more dead children. We talked about many things as usual, but there was a lot of the usual, "I don't get, I'll never get it!" Everyone agreed the death of their child was the absolute worst thing that has EVER happened to them and they, like me will welcome death when it comes. I brought up the feeling of living somewhere between the past and the present and EVERYONE could relate! It's a very strange feeling...trying to hang on to something that is no longer tangible but needing to hang on just the same. The most profound thing I carried away tonight was from a TCF video. It said when you lose a child, you hurt SO BADLY because you loved SO MUCH! I could only tearfully agree.... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 23:12:40 (MST) I went to the orientation night for 8th graders. Was this your Cori singing? They put on a great little introduction before the principal spoke. I was impressed, so much nicer than the one for Emerson. We spoke to Mrs. Welsh(?) about the art program. She was very enthusiastic and we even stopped in the art room to look around a bit. I wish so much for you and everyone who loved him that it would also have been a night that Chris would have been showing off his talents and having a great time with his friends too. I have thought about what you said about people being afraid to talk to you because you are what could be any of us at any time, a parent without a child . You are so right. I went to the one year anniversay at the corner and dragged my daughter along. You asked her if she knew Chris and she said no but she'e seen his site. I of course had no words only a lump in my throat because I was so afraid of bursting into tears. This site has been helpful because I see encouragement for all our kids who see what the rest of us don't. The artists who see the world differently than we do, the musicians who hear what we can't, the poets and writers who write what we feel but can't express. I guess what I'm saying is that Chris is still inspiring on this site. I know it doesn't help much but I just wanted you to know. Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Wednesday, February 06, 2002 at 21:47:41 (MST) 2/6/02....This is another drawing we found in the basemaent last month. It's from 1996 and the rest is told by Chris on the drawing! The photo is another we found last month. It's from the same year as the drawing, 1996, his last Basketball picture, Sixth grade. Once again, I heard on the TV somewhere last night, "Dreams never die" As soon as I heard that I turned to Adam and said, "Well, Chris' sure did, didn't they?" And he explained to me....it's like "I know this" but I don't grasp it right away....his dreams didn't die, he was killed and his dreams were ended prematurly. His dreams still exist but maybe they are the call of his brother, his friends or maybe some stranger he he would have met somewhere down the road. The long and short of it is, his dreams didn't die, just the way they would be realized....they're still out there for anyone with Chris' vision and talent to sieze!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 05, 2002 at 23:10:52 (MST) THEY SAY They say that time will heal my heart I found that is not so. You see, with you, my heart went too So many months ago. They say I must get over this, I have a life to live. You were my life and to have you back Oh what I would not give. They say you are so happy now, In a better place than I. That my son I know is true, As tears fall from my eyes. They say you can hear me now I hope that it is true. I look and listen day and night For just a glimpse of you. They say give it all to God, Do it without delay But isn't that just what I did Just over a year ago today? Jody Seilheimer - Tuesday, February 05, 2002 at 16:30:14 (MST) 2/5/02....this is another one of the drawings we found in the basement last month. It was a Science assignment from 1996, Sixth grade. It is a PERFECT example of the way Chris personalized everything...he did the assignment, but his own way. The artist side of him ALWAYS had to come out! It's also another perfect example of the type of thing that drove his Elementry and Middle school teachers CRAZY! He was different...not bad different, artisticly different, and it bugged the hell out of them. I think if I was a teacher and one of my sixth grade students turned in such a paper I'd think ,"Wow, how creative!" But no, it just made them angry....anyway, the assignment was to draw the Solar System. As you can see in the drawing, Chris considered the sun the master and all the planets revolved around him. He could have just drawn the planets in the normal boring fashion....but that wasn't Chris! Thank God, when he got to Franklin, the teachers there....every single one, appreciated him for all he had to offer and he just took off!! Who knows where he would have wound up. Some days he wanted to be the next Walt Disney, some days he wanted to be the next Stephen Spielberg, it just depended which way his creative interests were leanig on that particular day! The photo was taken in 1993, third grade. It was his first year playing basket ball. He played third thru sixth. I heard today on some show, if you live in the past you lose out on the present. I feel like I've been living somewhere in between since 11/20/00 and I don't see that EVER changing for the rest of my life. A big part of every day is, and will always be spent thinking about Chris. I hope to God that NEVER changes. But the present is very much a part of me. As much as I'd like to some days, I can't ignore the world around me. I have to keep going as hard as it is many times. So I fear, the rest of my life will be spent somewhere in between. We now have our phones back!....hopefully hot water is soon to follow! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 05, 2002 at 10:57:53 (MST) 2/4/02...We watched half the Suprer Bowl at Buddys and the other half at Deadys. It was so nice to see Caleb as usual. I was SO happy to see he had on his Chriskempa.com shirt! He had no idea he would be seeing us. The strange part was, seeing this beautiful boy, so alive, one of Chris' best friends with a picture of my dead child looking at me...strange but I was STIIL SO glad to see he had it on! This afternoon Claudia and I went to the Franklin theatre to watch a little of the Grease rehearsals. It was so nice to see everyone! Things appear to be going GREAT! I had never gone to one the whole time Chris and Adam were Players. The whole time I watched all I could think was they must have had SO MUCH fun!! And special thanks to Angie Hillman. Just today as she cleaned a space in her class room she found another Chris thing! It was a letter he wrote to her as an assignment on the first day of school Junior year, Aug. 2000. Three months before he was killed. The letter was written explaining to her why he had decided to take her class. There are many Chris things contained in it including a self portrait! I plan to put it in the Guestbook soon. She had no idea I was coming today but she found it today...I consider that a sign! Civilization is creeping back...we now have heat and power but still no phone or hot water! Fran Kempa - Monday, February 04, 2002 at 20:08:56 (MST) Today's art was given to us at the candle lighting ceremony on November 20th, 2001. The art work was done by Kevin Scott in memory of Chris. Todays photo was taken at Scott Allen's birthday party in December of 1992. From left to right: Chris, Danny, Andrew, Scott and Pete. I am filling in for Fran today while our telephone lines are fixed. We did get power back Monday afternoon 4/02! It had been several days of no furnace or power. Miss you always, Dad Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Monday, February 04, 2002 at 14:02:29 (MST) HEY CHRIS. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE WRITTEN IN HERE AND I KNOW THAT I ONLY TALKED TO U A COUPLE TIMES BUT ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW SWEET YOU WERE EVRYTIME I GO TO THE END OF MY STREET TO WONDERLAND LANES THERE IS A STICKER OF YOU ON THE DOOR AND I ALWAYS SMILE!WHENEVER WE DRIVE PAST LARRYS FOODLAND I YELL HEY THAT IS WERE CHRIS WORKED AND THERE IS A BUILDING RIGHT NEXT DOOR CALLED CHRIS FURNITURE AINT THAT WEIRD HUH.I FEEL AKWARD SENDING THIS BUT IT ALSO MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. WELL I WILL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN LOVE RACHAEL Rachael <Gracie1285@AOL.COM> - Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 21:36:51 (MST) 2/3/02......The art is one of the things we found very recently. It's the cover of a comic book Chris drew in 1996. From what we can tell, he never wrote the contents or the story because we didn't find them...maybe he did and just had them somewhere else and we haven't found them yet. The photo is one taken in 1990 of Chris and Scott Allen. For some reason, they decided to be Mickey Mouse that day!...They were ALWAYS doing something creative! Super Bowl Sunday....while we were never crazy sports fans, the Super Bowl was always the one event we watched. The boys and Adam mostly. Chris and his Dad watched together in 2000. Over the years, we hosted a few, and attended many Super Bowl parties.....especially in the early 90's when the Buffalo Bills made their several futile attempts. Both boys had Bills sweatshirts, Adam had a Bills jacket, Chris had a Bills pillow and a Bills pillow case. The pillow case was given to him by our nextdoor neighbor at the time, Sacha Baker. They were originally from Rotchester New York and were also Bills fans. I went to the cemetary on the way home from work today. It's becoming an every other Sunday after work habit. Exactly one half of the grave blanket, the half that faces the sun, was clear of snow and ice, the other side was covered. I took the Blue Turquoise Marker pin home to put on his plant in the spring just as I told Amber I would. The storm took it's toll on many trees and bushes in the cemetary. The willow over Chris' grave had lost a lot of branches........STILL NO heat, power or phone!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 14:44:12 (MST) Chris i really need you this time buddy...i just found out that ANOTHER close friend of mine died 2 weeks ago of a heart attack. I don't know if i can stand losing somebody close to me die again...but i know i will..cause my grandma and uncle arn't doing so well. I've known this guy almost the same amount of years that i've known you. i really need you right now more then ever... Katie B. - Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 21:52:53 (MST) MISSING YOU Chrissy - Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 17:50:00 (MST) 2/2/02...No idea when this picture was drawn. It looks to me like a self portrait...early skateboarding. The photo was taken in Dec. 1992 during Scott Allen's birthday party. That's Danny Sperry, Scott, Andrew Schinsky, Chris and Pete. Chris is holding the cake. Phantom of the Opera was big with the boys that year. We listened to the tape in the car all summer, Scott was Phantom for Halloween, and then had the Phantom cake! Fun memories! We have been without heat& power since 2AM Fri. morning. This morning we woke to no phones! They say we'll have power by the 5th and phones by the 7th!! Chris like Adam would have HATED it. Like Adam, I'm sure he would have spent the night elsewhere! Thank you to Brad and Claudia for letting me use their computer until I can use ours again. Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 02, 2002 at 15:35:53 (MST) Anonymous~ Although you are not a Franklin student, my offer still stands...you know where to find me if you need an ear. My thoughts are with you in your time of need. Ms. Hillman - Friday, February 01, 2002 at 18:30:22 (MST) 2/1/02....Don't know the when or why of the drawing but I know it was High School. Notice the eye to the left as you look at it is very much DIFFERENT from the one on the right! This seems to be a running theme with Chris. The photo was taken in late 1987. It was the last formal portrait I had taken of the boys. Every year, up to and including 2000, as September arrived, I'd say,"I REALLY want to get their picture taken this year." but I never did. One of the very few regrets. Claudia stopped by tonight. She was very moved by the last poem posted here. I tried to explain to her that EVERY day without Chris is a loss. I wanted to say that we're not just deprived of his physical presence, we're deprived of all the love, joy, happiness, energy, talent and even the trouble he injected into this household EVERY day. The silence is AWFUL. It didn't matter what was going on, someway, somehow Chris made us all laugh every day. Some days we laughed with him, some days at him, but he brought joy to the house every day. And now we will be without him EVERY day for the rest of our lives. Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 23:05:42 (MST) Thank you so much Mrs Kempa and Ms Hillman for your caring words...I unfortuantly am not a Franklin student..But my the hard time I'm having is regarding someone Chris knew so I asked for his guidence...Thank you so much Ms Hilman for taking the time to offer to help...And Mrs Kempa too.. .. - Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 18:20:53 (MST) I Lost My Child Today I lost my child today. People came to weep and cry, As I just sat and stared, dry eyed. They struggled to find words to say, To try and make the pain go away. I walked the floor in disbelief, I lost my child today. I lost my child last month. Most of the people went away, Some still come and some still stay. I want to wake up from this dream, This can't be real, I want to scream. Yet everything is locked inside, God help me, I want to die! I lost my child last month. I lost my child last year. Now people who had come have gone, I sit and struggle all day long. To bear the pain so deep inside, And now my friends just question, "Why?" Why does this Mother not move on? Just sits and sings the same old song. Good heavens, it's been so long! I lost my child last year. Time has not moved on for me, The numbness it has disappeared, My eyes have now cried many tears. I see the look upon your face, "She must move on and leave this place." Yet I am trapped right here in time The songs the same as the rhyme. I lost my child....TODAY. Written By Netta - Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 11:30:49 (MST) The clay sculpture of Chris is Fabulous! I hope the creator steps forward and takes some well deserved credit for his/her work. MCS - Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 11:28:52 (MST) To the anonymous writer needing guidance,...I can only imagine Chris in your situation. Chris would have confided in Ms. Hillman....I know for a fact he confided in Ms. Hillman because he told me. It may not seem so here on this web page, but Chris did have some problems in his life. But the wonderful and freeing thing was...he delt with them! He LOVED Ms. Hillman and Cori and talked to them and I was so happy he did. Ms. Hillman is the best advocate for kids I've ever seen....she can read them...and always seems to read them right! So please, seek her advice. I know Chris would have done the same thing if he was lucky enough to be in your place right now! Mrs. Kempa - Thursday, January 31, 2002 at 00:30:21 (MST) 1/31/02.....This clay sculpture wasn't done by Chris....once again, it was in memory of Chris. It was found at the Memorial on 11/20/01. I would LOVE to know who to thank for it! If ANYONE knows, PLEASE let me know @ Notfranny@aol.com. It's Chris, on his skateboard, doing his usual Chris things! It's a wonderful likeness, glasses and all! The photo was taken in May, 1987. That's Grandma Joan, me, Adam F., Bill, Chris and Adam W., taken by Aunt Molly on Adam's First Communion. I'll never forget, Colin, the boy whose picture was up yesterday, coming over and seeing Chris in a suit that morning. That was very unusual, my kids rarely dressed up, even for church, only for holidays and special occasions. Colin came over as we were going to the car to leave for church. He looked at Chris and said, half in baby talk, half in big boy talk, "Chris, are you getting married today?!!" Once again, a perfect example of a memory as only a fleeting moment. I remember those few minutes SO VIVIDLY! I only remember bits and pieces of the rest of the day, even though it was a big event, a "Special Occasion" I also remember VIVIDLY taking my family to the Mayflower Hotel in Plymouth after the church service for brunch. Chris was ACTIVE as usual, I spent most of my time at the Hotel trying to coax him out from under the table while everyone else was trying to eat and enjoy their day....Definatly a day he was labeled a "Brat!"...But I enjoyed his activity, it was FUN, not harmful, and somehow I knew he would grow into a WONDERFUL young man, which he did! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 22:55:25 (MST) I am writing to the anonymous individual who wrote the message of needing guidance and support through some recent rough times. I know that Chris would want me to reach out to you as a teacher... in case you need some assistance here on earth, with a little help and guidance from above. It isn't easy going through hard times alone. If you need to chat, please feel free to seek me out at school, if you are a student at Franklin. Think positive and know that you are not alone. Ms. Hillman - Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 18:55:01 (MST) 1/30/02....not a clue to this drawing. Again, it looks like a rough draft. The photo was taken in 1987. That's Chris and Colin Garland, friends and next door neighbors. Colin was three months older than Chris. He moved away right before they started Kindergarten if I recall correctly, and they pretty much lost touch. They saw each other a few times over the years. Colin, his Mom and sister came to Chris' wake...It was so strange to see Colin so grown up... and Chris so gone. I bet they would have had a lot in common if they had been able to talk to each other again. Last night I heard the horrible, "THINK FORD RANGER" commercial. I started ranting in my mind as I always do when I see, or even just hear it. The mental rant that goes something like this, "I HATE Ford Rangers! One of them killed my baby."..and on and on. I've done this since 11/20/00, EVERYTIME I see one in person or see or hear a commercial. First I cringe..then I rant. It hit me like a tons of bricks for the FIRST TIME last night.....the Ford Ranger didn't kill Chris....kind of like the "guns don't kill people, people do" thing! I will still hate them though for the rest of my life. When I met my friend for dinner the other night one of the MANY things I was trying to explain to her was how I feel some mornings when I'm getting ready for work. I get up at 5:30 most mornings. Everyone else I guarentee you is still asleep! Before Chris was killed I would think about work, or what I had to do after work as I got ready. Now, often times, I think,....I wonder if I'll make it to work today?, I wonder if something will happen to me. I wonder if I'll make it home from work. I wonder if they'd take me to St. Mary's too. I wonder if it would be the same Fire and Reacue..... I NEVER thought about such things before Chris was killed but now I know too well how your life CAN change in the blink of an eye. And even now, with that knowledge, do you think I wake the Adams up to tell them good bye before I leave..COULD be the last time...NO WAY! They'd be VERY upset with me for disturbing their sleep. So even though I now think and wonder about it, I'm back to a trusting mode....I HAVE to trust that nothing bad will happen...just as I always did BEFORE Chris was killed. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 14:49:05 (MST) Chris,I really need your guidence on something......As I'm sure you can see I'm having a really hard time with some things in my life right now...If you could be my angel for this it would help me alot...You know what I'm talkin about so help me out please you always do... ...... - Wednesday, January 30, 2002 at 09:37:10 (MST) Chris life is now passing by. Everyday I think about you and how I want to live my life thinking that it could end tomarrow. And I came up with some great ideas for paintings or as I think they would be called Pop art. Hopefully I can complete them from what I'm thinking they will be hard but hey. I Think i will be able to do it. I would usually ask for you opinion but for now I'll just look for signs as I start them. Oh yes I'm going to be an aunt so I've been making things for them left and right. Most of my thoughts came from you and old things we used to talk about. well gotta go. Miss you. Keep smiling. Laura <Laura153@msn.com, Laura916@aol.com> - Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 20:25:15 (MST) 1/29/02....don't know the date on the drawing..the photo was taken in Jan. 1996, that's Chris and Bill during breakfast in Buffalo...another Christmas in January. I met my old friend Caroline for dinner last evening. We have known each other since 1987. We worked together from '87 until '99 at three different facilities. We have a lot in common, similar values. Family, especially our children were #1. We confided in each other. In June 1999, Caroline quit Nursing for a while ,(LUCKY!) and then she and her family moved from Canton, just far enough away that it was far. We kept in touch here and there, Online and on the phone. In oct. 2000, she called and said she'd be in Plymouth while her husband went bowling...would I like to meet her for dinner. We met at the Box Bar. I wore Chris' coat that night...the one he had on when he was killed..I wore his coat a lot. We caught up on things, mostly our kids and family. On 11/22/00, the first night of Chris' wake, many of my co workers asked me, "Does Caroline know?" And I said I didn't think so because I was sure she would have called. They offered to call her for me. I said no, I'd call her. On 11/23/00, Thanksgiving night, I called her. I could tell right away she had no idea. I said, "I bet you think I'm calling to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving." And she said, "Well, yes." And I had to tell her, "No Caroline, my sweet, sweet Christopher was killed Monday while walking to school." That's all I remember about the call. She came to the wake Fri. 11/24 and I hadn't seen her since. She was very good about E mailing me over the months, I wasn't very good at E mailing her back. She E mailed me about 2 weeks ago and said she'd be in town on the 28th. I worked 6:30 til 3:00 so we met at work. She got a chance to see a few old co workers...even some of the residents are still there! Then we went to the Box Bar. It was such a beautiful day, we walked. We sat in the booth and talked for five and a half hours! The first two or more were about Chris. She, just as everyone, is incredulous of the whole story! The rest of the time was spent catching up on the living! It was wonderful to see her again and I thoroughly enjoyed our visit! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 29, 2002 at 16:13:57 (MST) The second Chris Fest at the Wilson Barn is currently being planned for this summer! YAY! Cyndi! <CKBenefitShow@yahoo.com> - Monday, January 28, 2002 at 12:17:58 (MST) 1/28/02....This drawing is the actual Romeo. Unsure of the date, I think Freshman year. The Photo was taken early Jan. 1997. Chris BEGGED me to take his picture in his street hockey gear. I believe that was his big gift that year. When I asked him why he wanted his picture taken SO badly, he just said, "Because." I took it as he requested. That's Adam W.'s foot and leg in the background. I went through the photos and art in preparation for Feb. We have WAY more than enough new photos and just enough, (28) new drawings. It's amazing how they almost regenerate themselves! The Mum poem could have EASILY been written by me. You can tell it was written by a MOTHER who has lost a child, rather than a friend or other relative.....NO ONE can feel it like we do......and I fear it WILL be for the REST OF MY LIFE!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 27, 2002 at 22:16:48 (MST) The truth will come out. <<<<<0>>>>> <Dad> - Sunday, January 27, 2002 at 18:26:57 (MST) Ask My Mum How Is She My Mum, she tells a lot of lies She never did before. From now until the day she dies. She'll tell a whole lot more. She used to tell the truth, a lot But now it doesn't matter. I died and went to heaven, Her life is all a-shatter. Ask my Mum how is she. She'll say, "Yes, I'm fine!" She wants to beg "Please help me. I can't find that boy of mine!" Ask my Mum, how is she, She'll say, "I'm all right." If that's the truth then tell me, Why does she cry each night? Ask my Mum, how is she, She seems to cope so well. She didn't have a choice, you see, Nor the strength to yell. You think you know the feeling, But this cannot be. For even though you loved me, You didn't love as much as she. She will smile and tell you, "It's O.K. God has a plan." But she will turn away and cry 'Cause she just can't understand. Tell a joke and she will laugh, But she is not O.K. She wants to share the joke with me, But it will not be today. I watch from here, in Heaven. Her distress disturbs my peace. Will someone please take care of her, And thus take care of me? "Someday you will feel better." "Yes I will." she lies. She knows this will not happen, Until the day she dies. "I was so lucky! I had him all those years!" They passed in a minute, I shed so many tears. Ask my Mum how is she, She'll say, "Thank you. Good." She cannot tell you how she feels. Oh, how I wish she could. Ask my Mum how is she, "I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping." For God's sake, Mum, just tell the truth Just say your heart is broken. Ask my Mum how is she, "I'm well, I'm good. And you?" I'll shake my head in Heaven. It simply isn't true. She'll love me all her life. I loved her all of mine. But if you ask how is she, She'll lie and say she's fine. Her carnival is over. She's stepped off the carousel. But, to save you feeling badly, She'll say, "Thanks, all is well." My Mum, she's not gone mad, yet. But, oh so very nearly. Don't ask my Mum how is she, Ask how is she, really. I am here in Heaven. I cannot hug from here. If she lies to you, don't listen. Hug her, hold her near. On the day we meet again, We'll smile and I'll be bold. I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mum, With all the lies you told!" Written by Joan Burr <In Memory of Simon> - Sunday, January 27, 2002 at 13:15:51 (MST) Chris, I absolutly love when I'm driving on the road or in parking lots and I spot a picture of you on someones car. It can turn a bad day good and it never fails to comfort me. The memories of you will always always always live on Chris. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you! Rachel - Sunday, January 27, 2002 at 12:09:29 (MST) 1/27/02.....Not sure of the date of the art. It reminds me of A Gobot or Transformer so it might have been in that era. The photo was taken in Jan. 1992. We had taken the boys to the Holidome for a weekend. Both Adam and I had had a very rough work week...our facility had undergone the most intense State survey in it's history to date and unfortunatly for me, I had to deal with them very closely...we both felt like we needed a break. As it turned out, the boys had a MUCH better time! They even ran into some kids they knew in the arcade! We had the PLEASURE of a visit from Caleb and Colleen tonight...or should I say Sandy! Always enjoy seeing them! I showed them the video Chris made of him and Caleb in Larry's Foodland parking lot and on the same tape is the footage he took of himself skateboarding. They inquired, and we showed them the progress on the family room, Chris' art gallery! I told them in February, I am going to try to put up all new art and photos on the web page. I do believe we've found enough and been given enough to do that. I went to Livonia Mall today for the second time since Chris was killed. This time I remembered to check to see if the Community Gallery he discovered just weeks before he was killed still exists...it does! Who knows...by now he may have realized his goal of selling his creations to the community and spending all of his time concentrating on his love, his art. Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 22:53:45 (MST) I think if Chris could talk to us now he'd say something like this, it reminds me of Chris. "I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when the day is done.I'd like to leave an echo of whispering softly down the ways, of happy times, and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun of happy memories that I leave behind when day is done." Author Unknown - Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 14:08:20 (MST) hi i'm 13 and I am sorry for your loss. I went to the benifit concert at wison barn and I think that is a good way to get his freinds and familly together and to reminece about old times with Chris if u had another one that would be nice peace and love ben kehoe Ben Kehoe <drollinbommber@msn.com> - Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 08:38:44 (MST) 1/26/02...The art is from his Sophomore year independant study painting class....and ANOTHER self portrait that really bothers me. To me, that is a look of terror on his face and it brings back visions of the ER on 11/20/00. The photo is one I love. It's his school picture from fourth grade taken in Sept. 1993. I had this same photo in an angel Christmas ornament this year, and I have a smaller one in my wallett. I told Claudia Christmas night, when I see pictures like this one of him as a baby and young boy, all I can think of is the John Lennon song, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BOY. He was SO BEAUTIFUL! He had grown into a gangly, gooney teenager, but that's normal.....he then would have grown into a beautiful, beautiful man! How I WISH I could have seen that!!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 26, 2002 at 00:07:38 (MST) 1/25/02...a very early Ninga Turtle,... This picture hung on my office wall for several years until my department was moved to another section of the university. At first Chris beamed when I put it on my wall to the left of my desk. Each time he visited me "at the office" he would check to see if it was still there. After just a few years Chis had progressed in his art to a such a point that he was embarrssed by this drawing. However, I would not take it down. A few months after Chris was killed I returned to the building in which my office had been. We still had a storage area in the building where I had several boxes of books and papers. I recall digging through the papers and finding several drawings Chris had done, including this one. It made me very sad to think that there would be no more pictures......and no more Chris Miss you always. Dad Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Friday, January 25, 2002 at 13:58:40 (MST) The song bird's melody fills the air long after the bird is gone. And when the rose has lost it's bloom, the fragrance lingers on. And though we cannot see the ones from whom we've had to part, their memory like a melody still lives with the heart! Author unknown - Friday, January 25, 2002 at 11:08:40 (MST) 1/25/02...a very early Ninga Turtle,...I'm quite sure it was 1988. The photo is another from the Plymouth Ice Show of the same year. On the 16th, for some reason, I gave the year as 1984...obviously impossible! Chris was already very well established as an "artist" by this age. His preschool teachers and many others more knowledgeable than I had been commenting for a while how gifted he was as an artist at this age....most children are still making stick figures (I STILL am at 47!) They were most impressed with his attention to DETAIL..he was very visual. This evening I ran into a neighbor in Larry's. This is a person I've known...not well mind you,.. but known ,to speak to and chat with for about 17 years. Not someone I would consider a friend...who I would seek out to socialize with, but a neighbor. She came to Chris' wake and funeral. Afterward, she gave me two books, HELLO FROM HEAVEN and WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. I had not seen her since the funeral, just over a year ago now. I ran into her in the produce isle. I spoke readily but she was very hesitant...this was the most uncomfortable I've made anyone since Chris was killed. She finally spoke but then looked away quickly and went on with her shopping so I proceeded to the Deli counter. She lingered in the produce isle. I got the impression she wanted to be at the deli too, but not with me. When I was finished, I was going to further ignore her but I thought better of it and turned my cart around to continue our conversation...you should have seen her face! But I just started talking and before long so did she! I told her of all we've learned SO FAR about that horrible day. Not just about what happened but about the people involved. She was shocked as everyone is when given all the facts thus far. And her question was the same as everyone elses.....HOW??!! By the time we were finished, the awkwardness was gone. When I got home I told Adam W. who I'd run into and how uncomfortable she was at first. His reply was she didn't do it to be mean, she just didn't know what to say. I told him I realized that. He then said ,"You'd better get used to it, I think it's going to happen for a long time!" I told him I was very aware of that too. Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 23:29:16 (MST) CHRIS KEMPA......HE HAD EVERY GIFT......BUT LENGTH OF YEARS... MISSING CHRIS - Thursday, January 24, 2002 at 14:43:18 (MST) 1/24/02....I'm quite sure this is just a random sketch from a school paper. POOPIE is written on his shirt so Adam W. calls this one POOPIE. When he did it is unknown. The photo is another from that snowy Jan. 1987. Chris knew how much I hate winter and how much more I hate snow. I can't help but think he's had a hand in this wonderful mild winter!....He watches over us in many ways! When I got to work Sun. at 6:30, it was very apparent one of our "comfort measures only" residents wound NOT make it through the shift. She was on my half of the hall and I was dreading it. I had only pronounced one resident since Chris was killed and it was A HORRIBLE experience! When the second nurse came on duty at 9:00, I asked her if she would mind, when the time came, pronouncing her and dealing with the family. She is fairly new to the facility and I explained, since my son was killed, I have a VERY HARD time. She was very agreeable and very nice about it. She said when the time comes, just call me. At 12:30 when the aide came to get me, I went and got Pat. She handled everything for me. After the family left she said the only thing she hadn't done was call the funeral home and asked me if I'd mind. I said of course not and grabbed the chart for the phone #. I looked at the face sheet and saw the funeral home listed as R.G. and G. R. Harris, Farmingtoin Rd. Livoina, and the phone #! But I thought "I can handle this." I placed the call and told the woman, whose name I recognized the circumstances. She made me give my name and spell it. After I did that she said, "Kempa, Kempa...that name is familiar...have we ever serviced a family member?" And I wanted to say, "OH MY GOD, DON'T YOU REMEMBER!? That beautiful, talented, loving boy who was killed in Nov. 2000 at 16 by the man in the white Ranger who said he couldn't see him...don't you remember...his art and his video were displayed in your home...don't you remember?" But I was at work and thought that would be most unprofessional. I simply said, "That could very well be." And left it at that. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 23, 2002 at 22:37:04 (MST) 1/23/02.....This portrait is another not done by Chris but in memory of Chris. It was done by one of Cyndi Lareau's art instructers at Kendall College of Art and Design in Grand Rapids. Cyndi did a presentation on Chris for her class shortly after he was killed. Her instructer was so moved he felt compelled to do this portrait. In person, it honestly looks like a photograph. We keep it on the mantle along with many other Chris things...some of his works, and some of others. The photo was taken in Jan. 1994, shooting baskets at the back garage. You can see the snow along the base of the garage door but it must have been another mild winter as this one has been...I am so happy about that, I HATE winter! Chris played basketball every year from third grade until sixth or seventh....I can't remember..he played for more than a few years and enjoyed it very much. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 23:35:39 (MST) Adam was certainly courageous, stood upright, and was strong when the winds of change shifted and took his little brother much too soon. I think that proves he had a strong foundation. Mrs. Kempa, you should be very proud of the way you raised your boys. A Parent - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 13:17:02 (MST) This is the song I played for my boys. I still love it, even though it didn't come true for Chris....I guess in a way it did, but not in the way I planned. FOREVER YOUNG May God bless and keep you always May your wishes all come true May you always do for others and let others do for you. May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung And may you stay forever young. May you grow up to be righteous May you grow up to be true May you always know the truth and see the light surrounding you May you always be courageous Stand upright and be strong And may you stay forever young Forever young, forever young, may you stay forever young. May your hands always be busy May you feet always be swift May you have a strong foundation when the winds of change shift. May your heart always be joyful May your song always be sung And may you stay forever young. Forever young, forever young, may you stay forever young. Written by Bob Dylan <Sung by Joan Baez> - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 11:01:11 (MST) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Tuesday, January 22, 2002 at 01:42:11 (MST) 1/22/02....the painting wasn't done by Chris but in memory of Chris by his dear friend and fellow artist Moriah Nixon. She told me she painted it one night when she couldn't sleep and was thinking about Chris. It's displayed in a very prominent place in our house! She did a wonderful job! The photo is another taken in Jan. 1987, more backyard fun on Auburndale...notice Adam is pulling Chris on the sled! I first met Moriah about two weeks before Homecoming 2000...which would be about six weeks before Chris was killed. Usually, I only picked him up from school if he had an Orthodontist or some other appointment. It was very rare for me just to pick him up. If he didn't get a ride from a friend he WALKED! This day was one of those rare events. I can still picture him walking out of Franklin to the van with a beautiful long haired red head. He opened the passenger door, poked his head in and said, "Mom, would you mind giving Moriah a ride home too?" And I said I'd be happy to as long as she told me where to go. Chris got in the front, Moriah got in the back, and the whole way, between directions they talked and laughed! I could tell they liked each other. When we dropped her off I said, "CHRIS! why don't you ask Moriah to Homecoming!?" For some reason, and I don't know why, he hadn't asked many girls to go that year...I have no idea what was going on between him and Cori at that time. I know he had asked a co-worker who went to Ladywood but she wasn't able to go.....anyway...his reply was,"Mom, I don't know if she'd go with me if I asked." I don't know if he ever did. As it turned out, he went stag and had a wonderful time....That's how I met Moriah and I'm so happy to say, we still keep in touch!! Fran Kempa - Monday, January 21, 2002 at 22:40:43 (MST) Had you been old I Might be reconciled To see you gathered To the silent wind. Were your days darkened Weary, shattered, told. Had life with disillusion Been defiled. And grief poured on your head It's molten gold. Had you been old. But you were young Your faith a fire unshaken Your hair bright tossed with the wind Your breath swift taken With dear delight of earth With arms outflung to joy Just then, just then To be forsaken of breath? To leave the melody unsung When you were young. HAD YOU BEEN OLD <ELIZABETH HOLLISTER FROST> - Monday, January 21, 2002 at 19:31:57 (MST) Chris~It seems that you have to watch over more and more people every day up in heaven. Please please help Al out...I know that you two would get along and that your friendship might really help him out right now. I just don't want him to be alone in heaven. He may have been alone in his death, but I pray that he will not be alone in heaven. Thinking of you and all my other angels in heaven. Loving you, Michele Michele - Monday, January 21, 2002 at 17:56:46 (MST) !/21/02....Adam calls this drawing ORANGE. We have no idea of the particulars. The photo is another from 1/87 in our back yard on Auburndale...the boys and their snowdog. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Rose family. We can truly empathize. We know the horror of losing our youngest child, and Adam and Adam now know the horror of losing a younger brother and only sibling. We did not know Al, but Adam W. and Adam both graduated from Franklin in 1998. Chris and I knew Adam from his days at Entertainment Tonight. I was always so impressed with him. He was always so polite and friendly. Always spoke, inquired about Adam and made a big fuss over Chris! Chris and I were in there a lot...sometimes everyday! Once in a while, when the lines were long and he was working behind the counter, he'd open a register and tell us to come over to his register so we didn't have to wait! Before Adam W. applied to Barnes and Noble, he applied at Entertainment and Adam Rose put in a good word for him. I am sure his brother was much the same way. There is no way to lie about it....the family is truly experiencing the most horrible loss of their lives...but some how, we and they will go on. Forever changed, forever saddened, but we have NO choice but to go on. I have no doubt that Chris and Al are in Heaven and watching over their families and still loving us from afar. Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 22:32:42 (MST) I also see Chris Kempa stickers a lot. Home Depot, the mall, the movies, restaurants, everywhere. I love to see them. I always get excited to see his name getting around. People should be aware of how special he was. Colleen Marie - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 13:21:52 (MST) Hey Chris I went to the movies last night and their was an older car in the parking lot with a Chris Kempa sticker on it...Further looking over the car also gave away to the fact that the letters CmK were also on the back window.....As weird as this is gonna sound I think it's kinda cool cause now people can take a lil part of you with them wherever they go... ............... - Sunday, January 20, 2002 at 10:09:39 (MST) 1/20/02...the art is obviously his only nude. I know it's from High School but once again have NO clue as to the why or when. In fact, I've never seen the actual piece. Last year, in our frenzy to find as much of his art as we could that he had given away, someone, and I don't know who, gave Adam W. a disk with this work and another one on it. I am very grearful to whom ever it was. The photo is another taken in Jan. 1987, the same day as yesterday's. After he attacked the camera with snowballs, he decided to attack Adam with snowballs! That's Adam in the lower left corner begging for mercy! He was such a helliun when he was little. Bad, but funny bad, not evil bad...an effort, but a JOYFUL effort! And after all the joyful effort...he grew up SO WONDERFULLY well!! That angels sang entry made me CRY..it's SO TRUE! Today on my way home from work, I went to the cemetary again. I was going to clear the snow away from his grave blanket again, but it wasn't necessary....someone had already done it! There were human and animal tracks in the snow....someone with a dog? Anyway, THANK YOU! As I drove home, I heard another one of our songs...we had SO many! FOREVER YOUNG. Not the Rod Stewart version which I like, but the Joan Baez version which I like so much more. And yes, I believe it was a SIGN!! You don't hear Joan on the radio, and never such an old song, but I heard it today while driving home from the cemetary. I have this Joan Baez greatest hits tape, and one of the songs is FOREVER YOUNG. Whenever I would play it in the car and Adam and /or Chris was with me, and that song came on, I'd turn it up and say, "This is what I want for you....NOT young in age of course, but young at heart." The one line that captures it all, "May your heart always be joyful, may your song always be sung, and may you stay forever young!" I still wish it for Adam, I'm so sorry it turned out to be a reality for Chris! Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 19, 2002 at 22:52:17 (MST) hey chris, i'm almost certain you didn't know him but if you see Al, talk to him. I think he could use someone like you right now. - <---> - Saturday, January 19, 2002 at 21:28:32 (MST) Hello, I found this site looking for others with my last name and was very sad to find this,I am sorry for you all he must have been a very nice kid. Jeff Kempa <tkempa@msn.com> - Saturday, January 19, 2002 at 19:37:21 (MST) .....The angles sang when you were born, but Mommy cried and wept. I couldn't believe you were truly mine as I watched over you while you slept. The angles sang when God called you home, but Mommy cried and wept. I couldn't believe you were truly mine as I watched over you while you slept..... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX - Saturday, January 19, 2002 at 14:26:38 (MST) 1/19/02.....I don't know the when or why of this drawing. I call it hooded sweatshirt boy. I think it's from high school though. The photo is from Jan. 1987, Chris throwing snowballs at the camera! Thank you Angie for your kind words....I wish I could see him walking on earth again too.....he was a peace maker. Fran Kempa - Friday, January 18, 2002 at 23:05:43 (MST) Today I found out that a former student of mine passed away in a tragic, lonely and freakish manner. I also witnessed an act of violence due to mean words and actions being exchanged at school today. I was saddened and removed for the rest of the day thinking about these incidents. They really effected me as a teacher and as a person. I guess I am sharing this on Chris' website because I wish people would truly realize how very precious life is. It is important to make the best out of life by doing and saying things that will make a positive difference in the lives of others. Do that NOW so that there will not be a minute in your life that is wasted from regret or hate...I have seen too many lives disappear in a flash...and too many lives that are suffering here on earth due to the cruel nature of others. Chris appeared in my thoughts today...it calmed me down...his positive influence on others, even after his tragic death has been a remarkable miracle to witness. I would like nothing more than to see him walking back on earth, bringing smiles to the faces of others. But somehow I know that smiles are occuring all over the place at the mention of his name, a memory revisited, a picture being taken out, a piece of art being admired...somehow, somewhere, Chris Kempa has brought peace to my day. Ms. Hillman - Friday, January 18, 2002 at 19:20:46 (MST) I had a special friend, one close on whom I could depend. I knew if there ever was a need, this friend would help me overcome and succeed. When trials in this world and troubles get me down, my friend was always there for me each time I turned around. As gems reflect light they sparkle and shine, I knew no greater treasure than this friend of mine. The days passed and departure time drew near, Jesus gently reached down and took my friend from here. As I cried out in pain I needed to know, why dear Lord did he have to go? In the quiet stillness a gentle voice said, "He's flying with the angles child, he isn't dead!" In my hurt I couldn't see, some things are meant to be. God told me that angles can't stay on the ground, if I needed my friend he'd be around. If ever I'm troubled, I look toward the sky, cause you see, angles have to fly! HAVE TO FLY <CHARLENE DICKERSON> - Friday, January 18, 2002 at 10:59:06 (MST) 1/18/02....This is just a random sketch. No idea when or why. It almost looks like a rough draft type sketch for something really good. The photo was taken in Jan. 1987 in our backyard on Auburndale. The boys and their snow dog....I don't think they ever made just a snowman! I drove Adam's car tonight. I don't often drive it but he needed the van to pick up Adam's amp. The whole time I drove all I could think was "This was going to be Chris' car...it would have been his by now, I know he would have talked us in to it...CHRIS should be driving this car, not me..." Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 22:29:08 (MST) Hi, I am a new found Franklin Player and a new found member of the Chris Kempa fan club. Everything he did in his life was tremendous and i only wish in my life that i could accomplish as much as he did. Everytime i pass bye the memorial, i bow my head and pray. I never knew Chris, but i wish i would have. I am just realizing how much i like everyone in and surrounded around players. I stumbled across this site when i was thinking about my friend who had just passed away of lukemia tuesday morning. To the Kempa's, which i hope to meet someday, whether it be at players or just out on the streets, my thoughts and prayers are with you always, and i wish you nothing but happiness. rich smith <irmoneyi@aol.com> - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 21:24:14 (MST) It's what they will say, Already been a year. But to me just a day So how can it be so long Since you've been gone? I look in my everyday life, It's there that you belong It's been a year, Time to be moving on. Easy for them to say, Their child isn't gone One year ago your dreams ended And with them mine did too. So please don't be offended If I shed a tear for you. Now all I have left are Your memories and our song But having you as my angel, I know my heart will go on. Author Unknown - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 15:36:39 (MST) 1/17/02...not sure of the when or why of this drawing. Looks pretty early. I would guess Middle or even Grammer school. The photo was taken in January 1988. Am I EVER glad we haven't had snow like that in a long time! I hate snow. I was talking to Colleen last night. She told me another Franklin student has died. A 10th grade boy. I am so sorry for the family. Our thoughts and prayers are with them. We know exactly how they feel. Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 09:43:20 (MST) dude wheres waldo Mark <Dee@monty's.com> - Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 15:00:28 (MST) 1/16/02......this drawing is another one that REALLY bothers me...almost a self portrait in the skelatal state. As usual, not sure of the when, and in this case, the why, but I know it was High School. The photo was taken in 1984 at the Plymouth Ice Show. That was an annual tradition until about 92 or 93, then we stopped attending for some reason...If I remember correctly, it became much more marketed, and the crowd became massive, so we decided not to go. Besides, the boys were getting older and developing their own interests and from then on it was difficult to mesh four schedules completely. Speck was put in his cage today. That is a rare event. Among the three of us, there is usually one of us home..even during the week. The rare event happened today, we were all out of the house at the same time for a length of time. The cage is kept in Chris' room. Some way, somehow , he was able to scoot the cage close to Chris' bed....guess it's not that hard on a hardwood floor. I came home at 3:30 to find half of Chris' navy blue "velvety" blankt and half of his bed skirt shredded to a pulp and pulled inside the cage! When I first entered the room and saw ALL the dark scraps ALL over, my heart sank, I thought he'd gotten some priceless art work....I was HAPPY to find it was the blanket and bed skirt. We WILL be moving the cage! Adam W. and I were able to salvage two big rectangles from the blanket...I was able to tuck the bed skirt under the mattress in such a way it's hard to tell a LARGE chunk is gone! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 23:17:07 (MST) "This has been a life changing experience that you will have to manage for the rest of your lives." Heard on Oprah <1/15/02> - Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 14:44:41 (MST) 1/15/02....Adam calls this drawing KNIGHT, I think it's his idea of ROMEO but i'm not sure of the why..just guessing. The when is High School for sure, just not sure what year. The photo is a close up of the snow monster. I was talking to Claudia on line tonight. She commented on the snow monster...I told her how VIVIDLY I remember that...I said, "not the whole day, just the moment." And I realized then, memories are just fleeting moments...not big blocks of time. Fran Kempa - Monday, January 14, 2002 at 23:22:05 (MST) First he painted the snow now he paints the heavens! Mandy - Monday, January 14, 2002 at 16:55:01 (MST) My thoughts and prayers go out to the family, with love. Krys <MemphisCowgurl@yahoo.com> - Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 23:53:30 (MST) 1/14/02....his Jones Soda drawing. I'm sure the why was his love for Jones. The when I'm not sure but I know it was High School. The photo was taken in January 1993....his snow monster. Like so many things, I remember this so vividly....not the whole day, just the moment. He came inside and asked if I had anything to "paint the snow." he had just made...not a snowman, a snow monster. All I could think of was food coloring. I reached up into the cupboard above the stove and gave him the box of food coloring and asked if that would be OK. He was thrilled! And when I showed him on the back of the box, how you could make even more colors he was more thrilled! The results are captured in the photo. I saw Caleb today. He happened to mention Colleen was preparing for finals. It made me realize how out of touch with school I am....I forgot about finals. Chris would be preparing for finals too! Tonight I saw part of Dateline. I hadn't seen a Dateline Timeline since Chris was killed. That was another thing we often did together...try to guess the year. And he was GOOD at guessing, he often got it right and I would ask, mystified, "Now how did you know that?, that was way before you were even born!" He would smile and laugh and say, "I don't know Mom, I just knew!" He was always very proud of himself for guessing right! Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 22:29:54 (MST) I miss you lots.... and i just thought I'd let you know..that i've been thinkin bout cha alot lately... love you always and forever...Sf Me - Sunday, January 13, 2002 at 19:12:48 (MST) 1/13/02.....The art is his altered student ID from Emerson Middle School 7th grade. He actually drew over his picture and carried it around like that! I guess they never actually checked the cards very often. I don't think they would have allowed him to keep it if they had. But that was Chris, he personalized EVERYTHING! The photo is another Christmas in January photo from Buffalo 1988. That's Adam, cousin Billy and Chris. The exotic deli girl was back at Larry's today! Her hair was totally fuschia today and she had on a deep pink spiked dog collar...and I smiled! Chris would have loved her! He'd never dye his hair pink but he'd have admired her for doing it! I heard somewhere yesterday, your quality of life is determined by what you make of the time you're given. Chris wasn't given much time but he sure had a WONDERFUL life! He lived and enjoyed EVERY minute and accomplished SO much! Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 22:54:22 (MST) Bradley and I went to see MONSTORS INCORPORATED today, and I couldn't help but think how Chris would have LOVED the animation, effects, and plot. BAMMA - Saturday, January 12, 2002 at 18:52:40 (MST) 1/12/02....this drawing is the back view of the Garfield of yesterday. Not sure of the year but early. The back, matches PERFECTLY with the front if you put them on top of each other. Not sure how he did that...tracing paper maybe? The photo is another from 1/5/93. Notice Chris' smile is much bigger than Adam's and he's clapping again! I ran into a former co worker yesterday. I have worked with many of the same people for YEARS, some as long as 10. While I didn't bring the boys to work often...Adam, I think once, and Chris maybe twice, EVERYONE I work with felt like they knew them WELL because I talked about them ALL the time! When Chris was younger, the stories would always be about his most recent mischivious activity. As he got older, the stories were about his most recent accomplishments...just like his brother! I worked with this woman for at least five years before she left. She has two sons too, older than mine by about four years each. When she saw me she hugged me and then she started crying and she said," I'm crying, WHY do I always cry when I see you?" I don't think she was expecting a response, but I gave her one. I said, "Because I'm the mother of the dead boy. When you see me, you see yourself and your two sons. You cry because I'm what makes it REAL.... The reality that something CAN happen to your sons and it scares you." She looked at me for a while, almost processing what I said, then she said, "You know, you are absolutly right." She then asked me if I still pray. Now this woman is SUPER religious and VERY CATHOLIC, but I responded honestly, expecting a lecture. I said, "Of course I still pray, but lately I've been talking to Chris up there a lot more than God." Her response surprised me. She said, "SO HAVE I! She said I talk to Chris all the time, much more than God these days!!" Fran Kempa - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 23:03:55 (MST) once a day and sometimes more, you knock upon my day dream door.....miss you chris! chris knows who - Friday, January 11, 2002 at 19:39:02 (MST) 1/11/02....this drawing is one of his early ones. I think Garfield was drawn around 1992. It's the kind of thing he'd draw on his school papers or would draw on paper during class....when he should have been working on his school papers! It reminds me of what his first grade teacher said at parent teacher confrence, 1990. Ms. Scharbach.....she told us how he was ALWAYS drawing....often drawing during teacher instruction. She told us she always scolded him and took away the drawing....then she said she ALWAYS took the drawings home and showed them to family, friends.....anybody she could, and she'd say," Do you believe ,one of my students drew this?!! FIRST GRADE and he CAN DRAW LIKE THIS!!" I just wonder if she still has any of them.....where ever she may be. The photo was taken 1/5/93. As usual, Chris was quite involved with Adam's birthday celebration! Adam Wm. went grocery shopping with me today! I honestly can't remember the last time he went grocery shopping with me...maybe 10 years ago....The food just always appeared, all three of them forgot how it got there! My cooking has NOT been anything to brag about since 11/20/00.....cooking was never my favorite task, but I ALWAYS prepared a good dinner for my family.....RARELY, if ever, a frozen dinner. But for a long time after that day, fast food and frozen dinners became regulars....it's getting better now, but it's very hard to get into cooking a "FAMILY" dinner when you don't feel like a family! Adam wanted to come with me to make sure I bought the things he liked....and I did! It may seem like a small thing, but it's just ONE MORE thing the events of that morning robbed us of. Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 10, 2002 at 22:51:35 (MST) 1/10/02.....We call this art Falling Star......obviously! No idea of the when or why. Something to do with Players maybe? The photo is another taken 1/5/92....TEN years ago!! SO MANY changes!! To Chris and the house....and the family. Unbelieveably, Adam found MORE Chris stuff in the basement tonight!! Four GOOD drawngs from 1996, one of which was a cover for one of his many comic books! It's dated August, 1996. The folder also contained some sixth grade school papers and his sixth grade basketball photos! Just when I thimk there COULDN'T POSSIBLY be any more, luckily we find something!! CONGRATULATIONS to Cori Smith, Scott Allen, and MOST ESPECIALLY, Colleen Baidoon for their roles in GREASE!!! Colleen, I told you, KEEP TRYING.....and you did! And did it EVER pay off! You should be SO proud and I am SOOOOO happy for you!! I know Chris is very happy for you too.....and Caleb!! Congratulations to all the other Players whose roles I don't know at this time....I KNOW it will be a great show and I hope to be just a very small part of it! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 22:57:47 (MST) 1/9/02.....Adam calls this drawing FIST. I don't know the when or why.....I just know, considering what happened ,it's another one that bothers me! The photo was taken 1/5/92, Adam's 12th birthday. That's Ryan Allen, Adam and Chris. It was a Superbowl cake that year...I think it was one of the Bills' disasterous attempts that year....as usual, who's having the most fun at Adam's party....Chris! Monday night as Adam William happily carried Speck off to bed I said, "I'm so glad we got him!" Then I thought for a minute and said, "But sometimes when I think WHY we got him, all I can think is, I wish we never got you!" Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 09, 2002 at 16:16:29 (MST) Mrs. Kempa~I have no doubt that Chris is enjoying auditions from above! I only wish he could have been here in person...we feel his strong spirit always with us! We miss him! Ms. Hillman - Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 19:11:14 (MST) 1/8/02.....Adam forgot to change the page today so the art and photo of 12/8/01 are repeated! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 08, 2002 at 10:29:16 (MST) So that is what the car horn is for! I'm not a honker either, just always hoped the other driver could read my lips! MCS - Monday, January 07, 2002 at 17:55:54 (MST) mrs.kempa. i left the button for chris. it's a band me and my friends are trying to get started. it began as a joke of sorts. anyways...i had visited the cemetery just after new years...my grandpa brown is there also. (*strangly enough within site of chris' spot.) i always try to leave a lil' something or say something when i visit the site or his spot at the cemetery. it seemed to be fitting since the buttons were new, and i surely would have gave one to chris anyhow. last time i was there i left a butterfly clip. I also had a 'butterfly experience', but with my grandad "crazy" as that might sound to some, i know you will understand. anwyays. that is why and how the button was there. if you'd like to take it off, i don't mind one bit. hope you are well, your family and chris are always in my thoughts & prayers.*hugs* amber <amber218_18@yahoo.com> - Monday, January 07, 2002 at 14:11:20 (MST) 1/7/02....the "art" is an acknowledgement for a cover Chris designed for the May 29,1997 Recognition Night at Emerson Middle School. The photo was taken in Buffalo in January, 1989. For years, before they changed the school schedule, we would travel to Buffalo after Christmas and celebrate Christmas and Adam's Birthday. That's cousin Billy, Adam, and Chris. I'm not sure why there were two cakes that year, Billy's BD is in April and Chris' is in June so I don't think we were doing a joint party....maybe one was from Molly....They all look very happy anyway! When I went to the cemetary yesterday that's what I told Chris.....I just PRAY you are blissfully happy! Isn't that the goal of every parent for their children....that they be happy in what ever they do? I always believed he'd continue to be happy......I just thought it would be here on earth and I could enjoy that happiness with him. Today is the day of try outs for GREASE! Chris WOULD have been there! That was his MOST favorite musical. About four years ago, he bought the original sound track album at the Rosedale garage sale....at first he played it constantly! (he also bought a turn table to play it on in his room.) But then it got put up in the attic and we didn't hear it for a long time. We found it recently and I loaned it to a special Player to help prepare for try outs......I hope it did. GOOD LUCK to all the Players! I'll be thinking about you today...and I know Chris will be there somehow!! Fran Kempa - Monday, January 07, 2002 at 10:58:27 (MST) What a cute picture of the cousins. This is how I remember our kids..happy and carefree!! Thank you for sharing the picture of my son Bill with his cousins. Those were happy times...and are missed so much! JoAnne <jgvpri@aol.com> - Monday, January 07, 2002 at 09:27:30 (MST) 1/6/02.....the art is another example of a way Chris experimented with signing his works. Shortly before he was killed, he signed them with initials and smiley faces, or initials and Japaneese symbols. The photo was taken 1/5/89. Adam was celebrating his 9th Birthday....and there, right next to him was his biggest fan, his little brother! I took Christmas down Thursday....couldn't wait to get rid of it this year! The little table top tree packed up in less than five minutes....it was great! The wreath went out with the garbage......at this point I honestly don't see us ever spending a normal, traditional Christmas again.....hopefully years from now, grandchildren will help....but there will be MANY an empty Christmas between now and then. I guess I'm taking a long way to say, what I found interesting when going through all these old Adam Birthday pictures....in EVERY picture, no matter what age they were, Christmas was ALWAYS still present in every photo.....not just the tree, even the stockings hanging by the fireplace......back then, we never wanted Christmas to end! I decided to go to the cemetary on my way home from work today. I took Plymouth to Levan toward Five Mile. As I passed the entry to St. Mary's ER on Levan, the same entry we took 11/20/00, at that EXACT moment....I WILL REMEMBER YOU began to play on the radio....and I lost it...even WORSE than on New Year's day....put me in the right mood for the cemetary. I cleared the snow from his grave blanket....and the whole time I thought, I should be washing his clothes, giving him advice, helping him with school assignments and reveling in his achievements.....NOT clearing snow from his grave blanket! After the snow was cleared, a new pin was found attached, this one reads, (If I recall correctly) Blue Turquoise Marker.....any body know the significance? As I drove home from the cemetary Chris would have been very proud of me!...I used the horn while driving! I have ALWAYS been a very careful, almost timid driver. But since 11/20/00 I'm even worse.....not even five over now, where before I always thought that was safe. And I would NEVER homk at people. People would cut me off, and do very foolish ,unsafe things and I would yell at them, but I would NEVER honk at them. When the boys were with me they would always say....especially Chris, "Mom, they can't hear you.....that's what your horn is for....USE it!" But I would always say, "No, I think they know they're assholes, no need to draw attention. So today, when I got to Plymouth and Hubbard the light was red. I was behind an elderly lady driving a VERY large Lincoln. When the light changed to green, she continued to sit there....she wasn't even being unsafe, just not paying attention I guess.....after what seemed to be about five minutes of sitting there....I HONKED.....and she moved! I had to smile.....I KNOW Chris was proud of me!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 06, 2002 at 16:07:05 (MST) Today is my Birthday but now I fear, they will never be happy since my brother was killed, just over a year. Sitting for cake now just brings a tear, he was always right with me, how I wish he were here! But fate was not kind, the driver so hurried, said he didn't see him, now he's buried. Every day of my life I will miss my brother, even if I'm as old as my Great Grandmother. My Mom will often say, we have to believe he's still with us some way. But I don't know if I believe that somehow, I just want him with me in the here and now. But I know that can never be, I'll have to wait until he can see me. Today my presents will be in a stack, but it will lack, the one thing I want most, MY LITTLE BROTHER BACK!! Happy Birthday Adam <A Good Friend> - Saturday, January 05, 2002 at 14:32:19 (MST) 1/5/02.....The art is just one of the ways Chris tried signing his works. There were at least four versions over the years. He was trying to find the best one for when he became a famous artist! The photo was taken 1/5/88. Chris was three, Adam was celebrating his 8th Birthday! EVERY year, Adam wanted Chris by his side for cake time...this particular year it was a pizza with candles in it... but any way....even if he had a party, which he often did, it was still his brother, not his best friend or parent he wanted at his side....I guess because his brother WAS his best friend. And very often, Chris was MORE excited than Adam! It's hard to see here, but in the actual photo, you can see Chris is clapping as Adam blows out the candles! And so Adam turns 22 today....his second Birthday without his brother. I remember one year ago today, I told Adam to make sure he had some friends over for cake because I just couldn't do it if it was the three of us. I was up in the kitchen with Claudia and it got to be near 10:00. Some of his friends had come over and they were gathering in the basement. At 10:00 I yelled down, "Adam, when are we going to do the cake?" His reply stopped me in my tracks for a few seconds.....He yelled up, "I'm waiting for Chris!" At first I was stunned but I quickly realized he meant Chris O., NOT Chris K.! I'm sure he wants the same thing for his Birthday this year that he wanted last year and will want for all the years to come.....his brother back...but he and we know that can NEVER be!....As a result of two minutes 11/20/00...two minutes that changed SO MANY lives forever! Happy Birthday Adam! You know how much I love you and how proud of you I am! I CHERISHED my boys! I was TRULY blessed to have such wonderful, talented sons. Now, sadly, I can only cherish Chris' MEMORY....and I do! Fran Kempa - Friday, January 04, 2002 at 23:41:59 (MST) 37,105 people have been to this site since 1/1/01!!! XOXOXO - Friday, January 04, 2002 at 09:15:56 (MST) 1/4/02......Adam calls this drawing TUBA. It is one Jeremy Rheault found in the Art Room after Chris was killed. No clue as to the when or why but I like it! It reminds me of New Orleans! The photo is of Chris and his ever present video camera! On the back, Angie Hillman wrote, "Chris, Players 2000." So it had to be Spring of Sophomore year and taken during Bye Bye Birdie. Last night was our first Compassionate Friends meeting of 2002. New people at our table and even more at the other.......NOT a GOOD story in the bunch! All SO tragic! We were given the ornament from the tree in Kellogg Park....so I guess it didn't blow away, somehow, I just missed it that day! We have two now....WOW! Today Chris would have returned to school after Christmas break and would have been SO HAPPY! I thought about that ALL DAY! I still think about him ALL the time! Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 23:28:02 (MST) Strange face, with your eyes so pale and sincere. Underneath you know well you have nothing to fear. For the dreams that came to you when so young told of a life where spring is sprung. You would seem so frail in the cold of the night. When the armies of emotion go out to fight. But while the earth sinks to it's grave you sail to the sky on the crest of a wave. So forget this cruel world where i belong. I'll just sit and wait and sing my song. And if one day you should see me in the crowd lend a hand and life me to your place in the cloud. for some reason this song made me think of you Chris. I miss you kiddo. Katie B. <"Cello Song" by Nick Drake> - Thursday, January 03, 2002 at 15:12:12 (MST) 1/3/02.....the art we call "Unmask." Not sure when he drew it but it was during the reading of Romeo and Juliet......whichever of his brief high school years that took place in. The photo is another taken 1/1/00. So fitting......Chris with a camera!..... One year ago toight, I announced I was finished writing the funeral thank yous. Adam William's reaction surprised and scared me at the same time. He looked at me with this worried, frightened look and said, "Oh my God Mom, NOW what are you going to do? " And for the first time, I realized he was just as worried about me, as I was about him. It was as if he thought, " OH NO, NOW she's REALLY going to lose it. These things were keeping her busy, keeping her occupied, keeping her distracted, now she'll SURELY go off the deep end!" I knew I had to seem strong for his sake so I pointed to the MOUNTAIN of grief books we had been given since 11/20/00 and said, "Well Adam, maybe now I'll have time to start reading my grief books!" And he seemed comfortable with that response.........even though I wasn't!! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 23:56:08 (MST) What a fun-loving picture of Chris today, (1/2/02). Such a happy young man. I am so VERY sorry he is not here anymore. What a loss to this world!! Happy New Year Chris!! JoAnne USA - Wednesday, January 02, 2002 at 14:27:59 (MST) 12/2/02......The Yoyo was drawn on the same paper as the broken left eye...wish I knew the story. The photo is another taken 1/1/00, his last New Years day. I love this photo! It truly captures Chris.....so happy, smiling and celebrating life!....and holding a camera in his hand! I heard on the 11:00 news a 19 year old Canton boy was tragicly killed New Years morning by a drunk driver, "driving while impaired" they called it. There are many ways drivers can be impaired....they don't just have to be drunk! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 22:26:00 (MST) It's hard to believe 2001, the year that changed the world is over. A year in which Chris never existed as a tangible human being....his life was ended in 2000, the year that changed our family forever. And now we begin 2002, a year Chris was SO EXCITED about!.....SO MANY things to accomplish! By now his Senior pictures would have been sent with our Christmas cards, his portfolio would be complete and we'd have known by now which college he'd attend in the Fall. He would have gone to a party last night or gone to see Adam and the Allens play. On the 3rd he would have returned to school, the place he loved so much. On the 5th he would have helped Adam celebrate his 22nd Birthday and would have been right by his side as he was every year. And on the 7th...the 7th he would have tried out for a role....ANY role in his most FAVORITE musical, Grease! I bet he would have gotten one too! In February he would have given a Valentine, a custom made one no doubt, to whom ever his girl friend would have been....most likely Cori. In March he would have helped us celebrate Grandma Joan's 80th Birthday in Buffalo, gone to the Coming Home dance, and been in front of the camera for the last time in his final act as a Player, in what ever role he would have gotten in Grease. Adam had such a WONDERFUL Senior year, I know Chris would have too....maybe even MORE wonderful because he was so much more out going! In April he would have so enjoyed Spring break. I know he would have gone on some sort of trip....even if just to Chicago as Adam did....Chris LOVED Chicago! In May he would have accepted his art award at Honors Night.....the award he just KNEW he was going to get! Then he would have attended his Senior Prom!! In June he would have graduated from High School and on or about that same day he would have turned 18! Adam would graduate from Wayne State, and we would have had the huge joint Graduation party we planned. July and August he would have enjoyed his summer to the MAX as he always did....maybe go to a friends cottage again but not be SO home sick this time! In September I would have seen my baby start COLLEGE! He and we all would have been SO PROUD! And then he would have helped me celebrate my 48th Birthday......And while all these special things were happening, he'd still be doing all the Chris things he always did....by now he'd be driving, he'd still be drawing, painting, animating, videoing, writing poems, writing songs,singing, making music, making people happy, making people laugh, working and being a WONDERFUL son, brother and friend! But as a result of 11/20/00, NONE of this will ever happen! Adam won't even graduate this year. I can already see the second year WILL be worse as they've warned us at TCF. Having the second year SO FULL of should have beens will make it MUCH WORSE. Every month of 2002 will contain AT LEAST one should have been. I lost it badly this morning while making hot chocolate for breakfast.....the boys and I ALWAYS had hot chocolate for holiday breakfasts......and I missed my Chris SOOOOO much!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 22:02:26 (MST) Happy New Year Chris !!! I hope this year you are happy... It is still so hard for all of us left behind. Love and miss you always. DAD DAD <<<<<>>>>> - Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 19:13:18 (MST) Happy New Year What does the New Year mean to me? it's another year to be bereaved. 365 days that I cannot see my child who meant so much to me. Sometimes while riding in the car I try to see into distances afar. I shut my eyes and shake my head and then I realize he's really dead. This child whom I have loved so much is nowhere close where I can touch. That in itself is a terrible feeling; it keeps my emotions rocking and reeling. I look at his picture and it's hard to believe that this is all the older he will ever be. No daughter-in-law will ever be mine, no grandchildren from him to take up my time. HAPPY NEW YEAR I just can't say. It means different things from day to day. It should mean I'm glad my son is here to celebrate this brand new "year." But since I am one of the parents bereaved, this is a fact that will never be. Another year has come upon us, I'll get through it - SIMPLY MUST! Pam Hamilton <TCF, Salina , KS.> - Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 14:43:30 (MST) 1/1/02......a year Chris looked SO forward to...."Can't wait to graduate!" he wrote. No clue as to the reason for this drawing....another omen maybe? Anatomically it would be the right eye, but Chris knew nothing about anatomical position......he only knew right and left. To him, that was the left eye....and he drew it broken! The photo was taken 1/1/00 at 12:50 AM according to the clock in the picture. It was the first (and last) kid New Years eve party we let him go to. Despite his love for Jones, celebrations called for sparkling grape juice! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 01, 2002 at 11:32:56 (MST) Happy New Year Chris and the Kempa family!! Katie B. - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 23:45:41 (MST) happy New Year Kempas//////Know that Chris is looking over you sending his love///// Lisa S. - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 17:50:22 (MST) Mrs Kempa..... Jason and I saw the tree in Kellog Park about 2 weeks ago....I know Chris name is on their but I wonder what happened to it now...?Try to have a happy New year Kempas....<3Christina ..... - Monday, December 31, 2001 at 09:13:41 (MST) 12/31/01....The sketch was done sometime in 1998. Where or why I don't know. The photo was taken New Year's day morning 1998. That's Chris and Scott Allen having breakfast. Every year for YEARS it was tradition for Allens to do New Years Eve. Many of the couples attending the party were from the neighborhood and had kids who were friends of our kids. So all the kids would gather at our house for a sleep over and the parents would gather at the Allen's for a party! At midnight, every year, Claudia and I would go into a quiet room and call our house....not only to wish the boys a HAPPY NEW YEAR! but to check up on them! Then on New Years morning Adam and I would prepare breakfast for the kids. One more wonderful FUN tradition! Unfortunatly that was the last year we did it. We're invited to the Allen's tonight. I told Claudia we'd stop in for a little while but wouldn't be there for the whole party. EVERY couple attending are parents of one of Chris' friends. Kristin, Andrew, Danny and Scott. Each couple has a child who is alive and well and is right where Chris SHOULD be. I can't expect people not to talk about their kids and I know we make people feel uncomfortable so for everyone's sake ..we'll be there ....but in moderation. I'm beginning to see it's true what the people at Compassionate Friends have been telling us right along.......the second year is MUCH WORSE than the first. I used to think when they said that, "HOW can that be? NOTHING could be worse than this." But now the shock, fog and numbness are gone...no more defense mechanisms for the mind and body.....just the facts, he's gone! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 30, 2001 at 23:31:27 (MST) Just like Carrie said.... I found a penny today just laying on the ground But it is not just a penny this little coin I found.... Found pennies come from Heaven that's what my Grandpa once told me He said Angels toss them down Oh how I loved that story.... He said when an Angel misses you they toss a penny down Sometimes just to cheer you up and make a smile out of your frown So don't pass by that penny when you are feeling blue it may be a penny from Heaven that an Angel has tossed to you. Pennies From Heaven <Author Unknown> - Sunday, December 30, 2001 at 14:03:42 (MST) 12/30/01....This is the photo of Jen Gossett I love so much. He took it in Sophomore year ,1st semester photo so... 1999. I keep meaning to get a copy to her. The other photo was taken Christmas morning 1998. Chris is opening their joint big gift, a video camera with all the extras. Chris used it much more than Adam. That's because Adam used it for the things everyone uses them for, special occasions. Chris was rarely seen without it after that Christmas mornig.....he even videoed himself tying his shoes. MOST unfortunatly, he was in the habit of using one tape and taping over what he had shot before. Shortly before he was killed, he and Ron made an hysterical tape at Taco Bell. They acted very silly then began interviewing customers! I remember him comming home that afternoon...it was a Sunday..saying, "Mom, you've GOT to see this!" He and Ron then led me to the sunroom where we watched the whole thing and LAUGHED! We never found that one after he was killed....taped over I fear. We do have a few GOOD ones. One of my favorites he took while skateboarding through out Olde Rosedale. In the beginning, you just see all these Rosedale houses going by and you get a very real sense of MOTION. Then, at times he pans up to show his face, his hair blowing as he whizzes by....then pans down to show his feet on the skateboard.....I am SO happy to have the few we do! Since 11/20/00 the video camera has been used maybe twice. We had a painting party today for our new room! We changed the color.....Parchment proved to be much TOO DARK! We went with Pearl Essence instead...MUCH better. Special thanks to Brad and Claudia Allen who made up the whole party....but did they ever get it done! They were painting machines! We missed Chris but I STILL believe he's had a hand in bringing everything together after such a LONG time! I read something online tonight that rang true....."Most people dream of angles..we've held one in our arms." Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 29, 2001 at 23:28:22 (MST) 12/29/01....no clue as to this drawing. It might have been one from a school paper, I don't remember. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1995. That's Chris in his much loved Santa hat holding Felix the cat and Adam standing by. On my way home from work today I stopped by Kellog Park to see the Compassionate Friends Christmas tree. I couldn't find Chris' ornament on it. I KNOW it was there at one point.....at least two people I know of saw it...it might have blown away. I went around that tree three times and looked at EACH ornament. While I was walking the park, searching for this tree, I noticed at least two trees for individual angel kids....MAYBE a thought for next year. After the park I went to the Cemetary. It's REALLY been bothering me that we didn't go on Christmas. But Adam William wants nothing to do with the Cemetary.....and I don't blame him. If I didn't feel obligated to go as his Mother I wouldn't either. The last time I know of that Adam stood at his brother's grave was LAST Christmas 2000. I tricked him into going this July by saying we were in the neighborhood and I HAD to water the plant. When we got there I said, it's up to you, you can come with me or stay in the car.....He chose to stay in the car....I don't blame him... Fran Kempa - Friday, December 28, 2001 at 23:41:19 (MST) Sorry, I ment 12/28/01! A Franklin Friend Again - Friday, December 28, 2001 at 15:49:58 (MST) My gosh, Adam and Chris almost look like twins in that picture! (12/18/01) A Franklin Friend - Friday, December 28, 2001 at 15:48:52 (MST) To Sarah of Wisconsin. That is what is so wonderful about this website~No embellishments needed here! MCS - Friday, December 28, 2001 at 02:51:16 (MST) 12/28/01....I have no idea when or why Chris did this drawing. Notice, it shows just the left eye! The photo was taken in December 1996....ANOTHER traditional fireplace shot! The writer of the last entry is correct....I haven't exaggerated one thing about Chris....if anything I've been much too modest. He was a special, special boy....annoying at times but wonderful! And she's also right, there IS MUCH more to this story. Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 22:24:40 (MST) I first found this site about 3 months ago linked to another site, day19.com. When I first found it and started to read the guestbook I thought, "sure some Mom, trying to rewrite history and make her dead child out to be in death much more than he was in life." But for some reason I keep being drawn back here AT LEAST three times a week. I now see how wrong I was. You not only have his art to show, his poems and photos documenting every tradition you describe, you have the testimony of countless adults and kids who knew him and agree how special and wonderful he was....even a relative of the driver! Unfortunatly, her relative DID kill a wonderful boy and ruin a wonderful family. From what I gather, there is more to this story than has been revealed as Dad keeps saying the truth will come out. I pray for this family and hope to read it here when the truth comes out. Sarah Phollings <Madison, Wisconsin> - Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 19:29:01 (MST) I like Guitar Guy. Something angelic about it. MCS - Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 14:16:38 (MST) Dear Cjris: Please watch over Aunt Molly, Grandma and Grandpa. They are stuck in Cincinnati since the Buffalo airport is closed. We are having the worst blizzard ever!! It is actually frightening. Cousin Billy is stuck in West Seneca too...the thruway is closed!! Please do what you can up in Heaven. Everyone needs protection from this storm. Thanks Chris. We love you!! JoAnne <jgvpri@aol.com> - Thursday, December 27, 2001 at 09:44:14 (MST) 12/27/01....This is one of Chris' paintings from first semester Sophomore year's independant study paint class. We call it Guitar Guy. His paintings weren't his or my favorites. Pencil, paper and computer graphics were where his talent came through the best. The photo was taken in December 1993.....another traditional fireplace shot. I accomplished NOTHING yesterday. I sat up until 3 AM Christmas night. I didn't get up until 10:00 AM Wed. morning.....only to go right back to bed after letting Charlie out until noon....not to sleep...to lay there and think. I had NO ENERGY...it felt like EVERY ounce had been drained. Adam felt much the same way. It didn't dawn on me until we were eating dinner what the problem was....I realized Tues. was the first Christmas we spent with the realization that Chris was DEAD.....no fog, no numbness like we had as defense mechanisms last year.....jusat the stark REALITY! That was a VERY DRAINING experience to say the least!! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 22:47:06 (MST) Our losses change us and change the course of our lives. It's not that one can never be happy following an experience of loss. The reality is simply that one can never again be the same. Ann Kaiser Stearns - Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 20:18:40 (MST) Grief is the rope burns left behind when what we have held to most dearly is pulled out of reach, beyond our grasp. AUTHOR UNKNOWN - Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 20:05:26 (MST) 12/26/01....This is the same art as yesterday, Chris' Christmas present to us this year. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1993. Inside the box was a large drawing desk for his room. He had the same desk until Sept. 2000. Adam was able to get him a very intricate drawing desk from Wayne State. It has a glass top with a light inside it and can be adjusted many ways....it's STILL in his room but there's no drawing taking place on it...many of his drawings are stacked on it. Chris drew all over the old desk in marker, wrote phone #s and even a few poems. In Sept 2000 I said to Adam let's just throw it out but he convinced me to keep it for the art.....am I ever glad we did. We had a very quiet Christmas. As usual, Charlie opened the most presents. Speck wasn't sure what to make of all of it. They were a fun distraction, but the elephant was still in the room, Chris was still gone and it was VERY apparent. Christmas was a day Adam and Chris spent together. It's still very sad to see Adam alone. We did our traditional dinner, prime rib this year, and desert, Birthday cake and ice cream. For the second year now the loudest, most dramatic voice was silent. We toasted him and said we hope he is so very happy. I worked until 5:30 Christmas Eve. One of the rooms I was in after 4:00 had Oprah on their TV. While I worked, I listened with half an ear. There was a woman on who was coping with a loss, a physical loss. She described the depression, losing the zest for life, and just going through the motions. She described our family perfectly. Then she said something that sparked my interest and I hope it's true. She said you just have to keep doing it until you feel it. Some day, some how we won't be just going through the motions but will be able to fully experience and feel life again. I do hope so. There are glimmers now, but they are soon dashed by the memories and the magnitude of the loss. I read somewhere the other day, "When you lose a child, your losses are just beginning." That is SO true. You not only lose the physical being but your futures, his and ours. I believe that was in one of my grief books titled, THE WORST LOSS. Last night we met the Allens at the Memorial at 9:30. It was not a good candle night but we were able to get a few going. Thank you Christina for the beautiful angel ornament. I brought it home and put it next to our tree. There was a pretty Christmas candle and snowflake there too. Thank you. I can't help feeling that, just as last year, New Years eve will hit us much harder than Christmas. 2002 would have been a year FULL of land marks and accomplishments that will NEVER be realized now. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 26, 2001 at 12:40:46 (MST) I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas Chris. I hope your holiday is wonderful up in heaven. I miss you so much, and think of you always. You always seem to come up in everyones conversations. I hope we never stop talking about you. I have a feeling though, we never will. Happy New Year too. Janine - Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 17:44:12 (MST) 12/25/01....This is the art Mr. Rheault found in the art room this November. He said it was among his examples and believes it was done as an art final second semester Sophomore year...that would be June 2000...five months before he was killed. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 15:01:34 (MST) To Those Who Don't Know If you could imagine the loneliest moment in your entire life, remember exactly how your body felt in that moment, empty those feelings into an expanding pill and swallow it,then you could begin to imagine what it feels like to live through loss. I have one hand in happiness - the memories we made together - and one hand in isolation - the world without my brother. I constantly push and pull in an attempt to firmly remember yet triumphantly live a positive life. Scott Mastley <TCF Atlanta Siblings Chapter> - Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 13:19:30 (MST) Sorry Dad. I didn't mean to confuse anybody about the facts of Chris's death. I am just so angry about all the pedestrian deaths due to cars. It seems like at least once a week there is something in the paper, whether it involved a mistake on anybody's part, the awful fact is someone is still dead, forever! Sorry again. Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 10:51:54 (MST) Merry Christmas Kempa's,I can only imagine what it's like to spend Christmas one family member short....I bet Chris is having fun spending Christmas in the best place possiable......I can once again only imagine what that's like....He has gotten the whole sky to paint wonderful Christmas pictures on...That's the best gift he could have gotten up their.... MERRY CHRISTMAS ....................... - Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 08:46:02 (MST) 12/25/01.....the art seems to be malfunctioning. Hopefully later, we will see the still life Jeremy Rheault found in the art room in Nov. 2001....The work I consider Chris' Christmas present to us this year, 2001! The photo was taken in Dec. 1992. It was the TRADITIONAL picture in front of the fireplace...no matter how old they were we continued the tradition. Somewhere along the years, Charlie was added to the picture. Had Chris lived, the tradition would have lived as well....as long as I did....even if it was with THEIR children..I would have loved that! The traditional wreath and garland on the mantle are pictured as well. It's been two years now...I wonder if that one will ever be resumed. And THE NUTCRACKERS!! Chris LOVED the NUTCRACKERS for years they were also a tradition but that one would be too painful to resume I fear. SO MANY memories and traditions. I'm not going to write a big letter to Chris here this year. I talked to him all the way as I drove home from work yesterday. I talked out loud, I laughed, cried and SCREAMED the whole way home....and I BELIEVE he listened. I just told him how MUCH I MISS HIM and HOW MUCH I HOPE AND PRAY he IS in A BETTER PLACE where all his dreams come true......that's ALL that keeps me going...I guess they call it faith....But I MISS HIM!!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 25, 2001 at 01:08:37 (MST) 12/24/01....The photo was taken Dec. 25th 1991. You can see the boys had fun that night as evidenced by the devil horns! It was TRADITION to fill the stockings with Hershey Kisses and Reeces peanut butter cup miniatures. This year we have no stockings to fill. In a way it's sad, but in a way I'm glad....I often found myself raiding everyone else's stockings! It was also tradition to attend 5:00 Mass on Christmas Eve. That way we could devote Christmas morning to presents and FUN! As it may be in other religions, Christmas and Easter are the two holidays that people attend rather than any given Sunday. Some people refer to these folks as "Christmas Catholics"....any way..in order to get a seat at the 5:oo Mass, you had to get there EARLY.....For some reason we never did. On December 24, 1991, Chris was AWFUL in church! I don't remember exactly what he did, I just remember he was AWFUL..and he was getting too old for that. When we came home, I made him write a letter to Santa to explain his behavior. Chris and I were the only ones in the family who liked....LOVED shrimp. I would buy it for holidays and special ocassions. That SAME night, after he wrote the letter to Santa, I went to the refrigerator to get some shrimp only to find it was GONE!....Chris had eaten it ALL! Thus, another paragraph to Santa! We found the letter a few months ago when clearing the attic. At the time, I was saving it to show his kids because I thought it was SO CUTE.....even though I was mad! It reads as follows: Dear Santa From Chris I'm sorry for being so grumpy in church. Because I was really made that there was no place to sit but just stand up. Just because there was no place to sit I've should of been nice by lising to my parents and the lord. He then drew a cookie with a bite out of it and wrote, eat one please. That was the whole letter until I discovered the shrimp. The P. S. reads as follows: Dear Santa, I'm sorry for eating all the shrip. I'll never eat them all agin in my life.......And he never did! I can't help but wonder what Chris would have wanted for Christmas this year.I think he'd still have the same interests but on a deeper level. I can't help feeling that the cards we sent this year should have contained his Senior picture instead of consisting of a memory of his art. And I CAN'T help feeling (KNOWING), if given a choice on 11/20/00, heaven or earth..Chris would have chosen EARTH! I don't care what A VIEWER or anybody says....he DID NOT want to die! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 20:13:07 (MST) Well Chris. Joe asked for a little more snow, and by God we got it...but in Buffalo, New York again! I think it missed Michigan! Another blizzard! Thanks for helping make our Christmas VERY white. We think of you daily, and hope that you are very happy in the nicest place of all this Christmas. Much love and peace! JoAnne <jgvpri@aol.com> - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 20:10:46 (MST) MARRY CHRISMAS CHRIS. michael <mickolobe1@aol.com> - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 14:31:14 (MST) Chris, so this is christmas, still seems funny to think that it's been over a year now. i was at the mall a few days ago and they had this tree filled with paper angels(angela hospice)and on each one was a name of someone that had passed. i asked the lady about the tree and she said it was filled with people that were being remembered at the holidays. i had been thinkin of you a ton...so i signed an angel "chris" for you. just wanted you to know you and your family to know i'm thinking of you with love and prayers this holiday. we miss you tons. merry christmas! amber - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 14:21:18 (MST) Sorry about what downage there was. In an effort to add something to the server, I messed up one of the config files. I hope the downage wasn't too long. My apologies. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I will have the Kempa family in my prayers. And Chris... I hope we all keep seeing your art wherever it may be. Many are hoping for a little more snow for Christmas. If you get a chance, could you send a lil more snow? joe. <joe@joecwik.com> - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 12:03:44 (MST) For many years I would put up a sign at work place for my Christmas decoration. It said BAH HUMBUG!! This year I didn't even put up my sign, but this year I really mean it. BAH HUMBUG Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 11:44:44 (MST) I read an entry by Cathie Vyse. Chris was walking in a school crossing zone, not in the middle of the street. There were two - three street lights and four sets of car head lights on the intersection. (not counting the driver's head lights) These are not the only facts that differ. Things about the accident in the newspaper may not have been accurate. Drive carefully Dad <<<<<<0>>>>>> - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 08:36:39 (MST) Joe told me about your site. I didn't know your son, but his artwork and the effort that you've put into preserving his memory are beautiful. Much love to you during the holidays, and know that what your son created has reached out beyond those he knew to a greater community, and that is an amazing thing. ~Peace Erin - Monday, December 24, 2001 at 00:22:11 (MST) 12/24/01.......Christmas Eve....WOW! I am SO NOT INTO IT this year!! And Adam Wm. understands....neither is he! I'm happy I'm working today....lots of wrapping left to do but who cares.....NOT a big concern! The art for today is one that found it's way home exactly one year ago today. It seems Chris had given it to Nate Storey for a graduation present in June 2000. More tomorrow.....I am SO tired...hope I drem of Chris!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 22:44:24 (MST) At this time of year it always seems That I see families of others dreams Everywhere I look, every ad I see Shows the joyful reunions of family With the table laden, good times abound While families, reunited, gather around But Rockwell never painted an empty chair And a family mourning the one who's not there A season that was once celebrated Now makes us feel more isolated I need TCF so that I can see That there are others just like me Whose feelings about holidays are mixed at best Whose strength of will are put to the test We're loving those that we still hold near But thoughts of one out of reach bring a tear Even now, amidst the love and gladness This time of year brings a certain sadness I no longer have the "average" family So that's why Rockwell never painted me. But Norman Rockwell Never Painted Me <Kathy Hahn, TCF, Lower Banks, Pa.> - Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 14:43:06 (MST) 12/23/01....Thank you Joe for getting it back up before Christmas! The art is the start of a story he was going to write about FREDDY, the boy who was born without arms and legs and had to move like a worm. That's as far as he went with it...no doubt, something more interesting came along and he absorbed himself in that. The photo was taken in Dec. 1997 at Stanley Stempky's....only two more Christmases together as a whole family..but who knew. As I fumbled with my door key the other day I had a very funny Chris memory. Chris NEVER mastered the front door key. He had a way of breaking into the house. We all knew he did this and just grew to accept it as a Chris thing. One day I came home from work to find him with about five other boys in the basement. I called him upstairs and asked how they all got in. He replied, "Like I always do ." And I just said, "Chris, it's one thing for you to break in but I'm not wild about you showing other kids how it's done." He was SO insulted! He looked at me rather shocked and said, "Mom, these are nice kids, they'd never do anything like that!" While I assured him I thought they were nice too I told him I'd still rather he didn't do it again. But that was Chris..always saw the good in people. I remember that so vividly! I can still picture it. I saw Moriah Fri. night at Zerbos. I gave her a Christmas present I hope she likes. A copy of the video Chris made of the 1999 Art trip to Chicago. There are many moments he captured of her and a few she captured of him, and he talks a lot in it! GOOD memories! I asked her the story behind the art we used for the Christmas card. She confirmed, it WAS the lsst piece he ever worked on. The hands are drawn in but never finished. I thought he just had his chin resting on his hands. Moriah said no, if finished, the little boy was to be crouched down over some paper and be drawing! He was going to draw a pencil in his hand! That would have been so cute! Colleen and Caleb stopped by the other night.....ALWAYS nice to see them! The family room continues to progress. The fireplace was installed Fri. With each accomplishment I'm happy it's FINALLY getting finished, but it makes me SO sad Chris will never be able to enjoy it with us. He would have LOVED it. Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 10:54:30 (MST) I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below. With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting in the snow. The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear. For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear. But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here. I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring, FOr it's beyond description, to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart, But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart. So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear. Amd be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. I sent you each a memory of my undying love. After all love is a gift more precious than pure gold. It was always most important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do, For I can't count the blessings or the love He has for each of you. So have a Merry CHristmas and wipe away the tear. Remember, I'm spending CHristmas with JEsus Christ this year. AG <<~~~>> NY USA - Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 09:31:02 (MST) Friday morning I left for work and since the kids were off I just took Minton to Merriman and made a right. I had just got past Hathaway when I saw two cars waiting in the left hand driving land with a green Ranger coming up fast behind them. Guess what he did when the light changed? Pulled over! No turn signal, nothing, just pulled over. I wonder how much he looked to make sure the walkway was clear? It was like a replay of 11-20-00, only no pedestrian this time. These smart carmakers, why don't they make a computer that you can send a message to other drivers? Later my husband and I drove to my sisterinlaw's house. We passed through downtown Ypsilanti because it was quicker. At one point we saw someone walk into the road, dark clothing. We commented that they should really have something light on and to use a lot of care crossing a busy road and not by a light or anything. Not five minutes later we were talking and never saw another person until we passed her when she was about 5 or 6 feet to our right of the car and we're going 40-50 mph!!! Mike's first comment was I NEVER saw her start to come out, it's like she just appeared out of nowhere. Again, dark clothes, crossing in the middle of a busy street. I passed by the new memorial on 7 Mile. I cringe whenever I'm watching a tv show and suddenly someone's hit by a car. The Mysterious Ways one was really hard because the character looked a lot like Chris. Again the tears start to roll and I think life is so unfair. Where is my safe neighborhood again? Life is cruel! Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Sunday, December 23, 2001 at 07:33:10 (MST) rest in peace chris some pixie girl <annoying_pixie@yahoo.com> - Friday, December 21, 2001 at 13:27:43 (MST) The Holidays With the changing of the seasons the holidays come once more. Busy shoppers, joyous laughter pretty wreaths hung on the door. Though I pause in the twilight hour and hear the children play, my joy is forever silenced by the dreadful day in May. My love of the holiday season now lives in another time; Memories of past Christmases when all in my life was fine. The tree lights no longer sparkle, my heart is cold inside, My holiday joy ended The day my child died. I stand outside now looking in to a world I no longer know. My tears flow like a river and melt the falling snow. I turn now to the meaning of what Christmas really is- My pain softened by believing in spirit, he will always live. Vicki Tushingham <TCF, Los Angeles, Ca.> - Friday, December 21, 2001 at 10:48:01 (MST) 12/21/01....once again, NO idea the story about this drawing. This is another one that gives me the creeps. The photo was taken in December 1989 at the Christmas tree lot. For YEARS, we always got our tree at Stanley Stempkys on Plymouth. This year we got it at Meijer's. Wed. night Adam asked me to MAKE SURE he was up Thurs. morning by 6:00 AM for his last final. When the alarm went off and I looked at the clock, ALL I could think about was 11/20/00.....waking Chris up at 6:00 AM to send him to his death. Somehow I thought if I waited, I'd be protecting Adam. So I waited until 6:03 then went to see if he was up..he was. Later in the afternoon we went Christmas shopping. Before we left Adam asked me to lint brush him ... Seems the cat had slept on his navy blue coat. Did that bring back memories! Chris, like me, HATED lint and animal fur on his clothes. Every morning before I drove him to school he'd say, "Mom, would you lint brush me?" And he'd stand there in the kitchen, with his arms out to the sides and turn SLOWLY in a circle as I ran the lint brush up and down his shirt and jacket! I'm sure it was a comical scene but part of our morning routine! I was glad we went shopping today. I got to spend some time with Adam which I always enjoy. It was TRADITION for years for me to take just the boys Christmas shopping. It was always the last week of school before Christmas break. I'd pick them up at noon and let them miss a half day of school. We'd go to lunch and then shopping. We did this every year up to and including 1999...the three of us. We did it this year....just the two of us. So when people say ,"Oh, you're doing so well!" it's just below the surface. It doesn't take much...to spark a memory, a fear or a tear. As the song goes, I'm laughing on the outside but STILL crying on the inside. Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 23:06:10 (MST) Kempas I LOVE the "CHRIS" MAS card!......I know he does too! Thank you! A Friend - Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 14:48:47 (MST) 12/20/01....This a computer generated flyer Chris made for one of the Recital shows. As you can see, it's dated Oct. 24th, he neglected to add 2000...less than one month before he was killed! Chris made many flyers for the band's shows. That's just one very small thing among the infinate number of things Adam must miss about Chris. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1991. Who would have dreamed, ten years later, he'd be gone! One of the things on Chris' list that year was a Lego boat. Their joint big gift that year was the large set of Pirate Legos. As you can see, they were both quite pleased! Yesterday it seemed I couldn't get away from Ford Rangers. No matter where I went, when I came back to the van there was a Ford Ranger parked next to me on the driver's side. They weren't there when I went in...only when I came out.....like someone was playing a very bad joke on me. Only one was white...the one at the Post Office. The one at the bank was red and the one at Larry's was aqua. They STILL make me cringe....and I still can't believe how SMALL they are. Later, in the evening, I had the FOX news channel on. One of the announcers was talking about Sept. 11th. I only half listened as I cooked. Then he said something that caught my attention and really hit home. He said , "We will never forgive, we will never forget." And all I could think was, "Yeah....what he said...." Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 19, 2001 at 23:01:38 (MST) Fran, This site is wonderful and I look forward to your entries everyday. It tells the story of not only what your family and Chris' friends are missing, but what the world will be missing out on long into the future. MCS - Wednesday, December 19, 2001 at 04:45:53 (MST) 12/19/01....this is another one of Chris' computer animations. The head nods up and down and turns sideways. Not sure of the date but quite sure within a year of when he was killed. I'd say the last 6 to 8 months before he was killed he had TOTALLY immersed himself into computer animation. That's why I asked him to draw Einstein. I was SO afraid his other skills would suffer as a result....but I soon found out I was WRONG! That's one of the MANY sad parts....ALL of his skills were GROWING, and growing at a RAPID rate! The photo is from Christmas time 1990. The boys had many a great Christmas with Charlie! When the boys got older and less enthused with Christmas, I could ALWAYS count on Charlie to be excited enough for all of us...and he still is! I'm anxious to see what Speck thinks of the whole thing! On Monday amd Tuesday, Chris received more mail from CCS. Someone said I should call and take his name off the list. But I'm not ready to do that yet. In some ways it's sad but in other ways it's a reminder....your son was good enough to be ON the list! And some days that makes me feel good...hard to explain. Last Friday night, during our Christmas Walk, the last house we went to was owned by a very young couple. You could see very easily they were very into art and design. The owners mother was there and she made people aware of different focal points. At one point she said, "You know, he graduated from Center for Creative Studies." And I wanted to say, "No, I didn't know that, my son had the same dream and goal but someone took them away from him!" But I didn't. I just smiled and said, "Oh, how nice." Some people wonder why I spend time on this site every day. When I think of the HOURS I'd be devoting to him on a daily basis if he was still here....these minutes I spend trying to tell his life story and keep his memory alive are NOTHING in comparison. I do it because I want to and it helps me! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 22:44:32 (MST) Wow! Jenny's writing really drives home the point....the driver kills only one of his many victims! A Franklin Parent - Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 18:56:01 (MST) Dear Uncle Frank, Aunt Franny and Adam: I've been thinking alot about Chris lately. I know that the one-year anniversary of his death was November 20th, and how hard it must be for you. The holidays must be especially difficult too. I do pray that with time the pain in your hearts will lesson, but I know that it will take a long long time. He is such a big part of your hearts and he'll always be with you. I want you to know that I do think of you often and am always here for any support you may need. Love, Cathy P.S. Adam: You are doing such a wonderful job with the website. Chris would have been so proud of you. Cathy Cook <cookca@buffalostate.edu> - Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 15:41:46 (MST) This memoir was written in October 2001 by Jenny Taco. I believe it was for her English class. They could pick any subject they wanted. She recently E mailed it to me and I asked if she would mind if I put it here on the web site. She said she'd be honored. Chris The choir room never had so many people in it. They weren't there to sing. They weren't there to listen to a song. They all knew him, they all loved him, and they all wanted him back. That was what brought us all togrther in that room. That was what helped us cope. The day was November 20, 2000. A day nobody will soon forget. The day the world lost a life. The day that the world would be more empty. The day that Chris Kempa died. It all started when I came into third hour that day, Contando, the all girls choir. It was basically just like any other day, but my friends and I, excluding my friend Corinne, were talking about how weird the day felt. It just didn't feel right to us. "Where's Cori?" we all asked, using the shortened version of her name. "I don't know, I saw her this morning but Miss Hillman grabbed her to talk right before this class." said Dana. Suddenly the door opened. She wore blue jeans and a blue hooded sweatshirt that read, "Kentucky Elliot". Cori. She came down the stairs hysterical. It looked and sounded like a cry being mocked , until she stumbled down the ramp towards Dana, Kelly, Jenna, Debbie and I. While she sobbed uncontrollably, we all asked her what was wrong. Miss Hillman entered to the rear of her and broke the news to all: "Chris Kempa was hit by a car on his way to school. He was killed." We were stunned. Many people began crying instantaneously. How could a car have hit him? Who in their right mind could hit a person crossing the street? HOW do you not SEE them? It didn't matter how many questions we asked. He was still gone and there was nothing we could do about it. People came by almost dozens into the choir room, each one sobbing. We all hugged one another, regardless of our feelings for one another. Quarrels and resentment didn't matter right then. All anyone could think about was the life that was just taken away from us. We spent the entire day in the choir room, only exiting to get our lunches, which we brought back into the the choir room. It seemed that if we all gathered there, it might do some good. But we knew it wouldn't. I held my friends close as they cried. I tried not to cry because I didn't want to make the situation worse. I felt that if I could keep my composure, there was a better chance of others being able to keep theirs as well. It killed me to watch other people cry, but it was impossible to make it stop. Later we noticed the Kentucky Elliot sweatshirt Cori wore belonged in fact to Chris Kempa. The sight of the sweatshirt and the realization of the owner brought even more uncontrollable sobbing.To look around the room at all the people affected by his death was devastating. The day seemed to take forever. It never ended. About three-quarters of the people had already gone back to classes, but had trouble holding back the tears. We couldn't return to class. We stayed in there all day. Miss Goodwin stayed with us too. She tried to calm us and comfort us. It was a benevolent thing to do but I don't think any one of us could have been consoled. It seemed to hit hardest for Corinne. She could barely speak. She wouldn't let you hold her for very long , if she let you hold her at all. It was as if she was in shock. She shook terribly as the day went on and it was hard to stay away from her. I wanted to comfort her. We all knew it would hit Cori the hardest because she was absolute best friends with Chris. They were inseparable. I remember once our Freshman year, Cori, Chris and I walked all around Rosedale. It was the neighborhood surrounding our house and we just walked and walked. With no purpose, really, just to walk around. Cori and Chris were dating at that point, I believe. Chris was so in love with her, and I know his love for her remains. I have never seen two people look at each other the way they looked at each other. And now he was gone. Never to paint a picture again, never to write a poem again. Never to draw you a silly picture when you were down. Now we could only take what he left us and value it. An online website was started for him and we decorated the corner where he was hit. Not many of us have gone to visit his grave in the cemetary. It's a bit too hard for us all. It's been about 11 months now, and the tears have subsided, but our memory of him will never be gone. Cori is beginning to cope too, but it's hard for her. Although he is not with us now,he always will be. I will never forget that day in the choir room. The day that a good friend died. The day that we all mourned his death. The day that we all celebrated his life. Fran kempa - Tuesday, December 18, 2001 at 14:48:56 (MST) 12/18/01.....Once again, I wish I knew the story behind this drawing but I don't. Friday night I was telling friends how I wish I had taken the time to ask about each one but I never DREAMED I'd be sitting her trying to tell the stories.....and there were SO many, even if I'd asked, I most likely would not have remembered. The photo was taken in Dec. 1988, bringing the tree home from the hunt. That was in the Fiero days....we had to take two cars since it was a two seater! Chris rode with Adam in the Fiero and Adam and I rode in the Escort. To this day I don't know why we all didn't ride in the Escort! So many of Chris' friends are remembering us this Holiday season! It's very touching and appreciated. Tonight, Becky Gates (Bridgeman) showed up at the door! I was so happy to see her! She gave me A beautiful Poinsetta and a card. We visited for a little while but there was no place for me to invite her to sit as our living room is SO torn apart. After she left, I opened the card and discovered a BEAUTIFUL poem she wrote in memory of Chris during this holiday time. MERRY CHRISTMAS BY REBECCA GATES A life so short That touched so many Brought us together With tears of sorrow I am sad for the loss But happy for the time That was given to me To be shared by someone special Times can get tough Memories hard to remember A life so full Of joy and sorrow But may all the bad go away And all the good stay near In this merry joyous season And have a happy new year As she was leaving tonight she said , "Let me know how you like it." I wasn't sure what she meant until I saw the poem. Becky, I don't like it, I LOVE it! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 17, 2001 at 22:54:58 (MST) 12/17/01.....this is just another whimsical sketch he made somewhere along the line. Don't know the date. The photo is another from Christmas morning 1989. Every year the boys got one big joint gift, (the Nintendo), and one big individual gift, then a lot of little things. Obviously Chris' individual big gift that year was a bike. He was riding it that morning...no snow that year. It wasn't too long before those training wheels came off! We have abandoned ALL tradition this year. Due to our construction project, the WHOLE house is torn apart. The living room and dining room are uninhabital. Our Christmas tree this year consists of a 32 inch table top (artificial) tree in the sunroom.....Forget the wreath and garland on the mantle....you can't even get to the mantle! We do have a real wreath hanging in the kitchen window to provide that pine smell. The most decorated room in the whole house is the downstairs bathroom! But in a way I think this is a good thing. I was telling Adam and Adam during breakfast Sun. morning that even though it's our second Christmas it feels like our first....the fog is GONE, it's a REALITY! If we were to continue our old traditions they may be painful and make us miss Chris even more. This way, with all new things this year that we don't associate with Chris may help.Then, when and if we resume the old traditions, they may no longer be painful....hopefully only happy, wonderful memories! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 16, 2001 at 22:35:09 (MST) hey Chris... I'm sitting here..awake and I can't believe I am seeing as it is 3:30am...but I am talking on IM to some friends and I decided to come vist here. I know I havn't stopped a lot lately. I do still think of you. Everytime I walk into my bedroom I see the painting you did and I think of you. I miss you still. I guess it's something that I have learned. We lose people in our lives and no matter how much time goes by, we never stop missing them. I guess you kinda stop the bad feelings and you remember all the good times but no matter what you always miss them. Even when you wish you didn't. Memories last forever... I love you Chris... Tracy <tracyelaina@hotmail.com> - Sunday, December 16, 2001 at 01:29:07 (MST) 12/16/01....This drawing is just another random sketch from one of Chris' school papers. Somehow he incorporated drawing into everything. You should see our address book....which I'll NEVER throw out. After each entry HE made there is some kind of drawing. For example, there's a girls name crossed out and next to it a drawing of a broken heart....that kind of thing....it's personalized! The photo was taken Christmas morning 1989. You can see how EXCITED both boys were, finding a Nintendo after all, after being THOROUGHLY convinced that would NEVER happen! I worked on the Christmas cards tonight. Since I skipped them all together last year, this is the first year I've done them since Chris was killed. The only time I ever signed all four names together was for cards....mostly Christmas cards. I can't tell you how MANY times I had to stop myself from signing, Adam, Fran, Adam and Chris. And it looks so FUNNY with only three names instead of four....something is missing! Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 22:43:49 (MST) Just want to let you know that i'm still thinking about you! I miss and love you kiddo. Katie B. - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 21:33:33 (MST) The most wasted day is that on which you have not laughed.... Author Unknown - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 11:56:17 (MST) When Michele mentioned Anna the other day it made me remember something. Her Mom attended a few of The Compassionate Friends meetings. She had one of Anna's poems printed in the September news letter. It's a beautiful poem and I don't think her Mom would mind if I put it here. Another beautiful,talented being, gone too soon. I LISTEN By Anna K. Bonde You may not think so, but I listen. Even when you aren't speaking, I can hear you crying out. And I weep inside for you. But I could never tell you so. So many things I cannot say. Can't reach out for you, and I cry inside at this. If I had wings I'd pick you up carry you so far away from these prisons these pointless wars away from the edge, I'd set you free And dance. Hidden among the stars we could laugh, freely, and I could listen. Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 09:34:23 (MST) 12/15/01....This "ART" is a digital photo Chris took of himself in October 2000. He used the art room digital camera......we didn't feel the need for one until AFTER Chris was killed. I can just picture him, walking SO confidently and safe, down the halls of Franklin..... swinging the camera up and snapping himself.....I can STILL see him in so many instances! The photo was taken on December 25,1990. Since Christmas is Adam F's birthday, it is, and was TRADITION for Christmas desert.....birthday cake and ice cream! Last night was the Rosedale Gardens Christmas Walk. Once again, I resumed an annual tradition I had skipped last year..... And did we have FUN! While I DID cry a LITTLE.....I laughed A LOT! Thanks to dear friends we had a WONDERFUL time! Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 01:02:18 (MST) Hi Chris I was in Plymouth today and drove past the little park in the middle of downtown Plymouth....I remembered watching on tv that the compationate friends have a christmas tree in the park with childrens names on it.....I decided to pull over and look for this tree....I searched all the little trees on one side of the park and then on the other and I found the tree with your name on it....The tree was sooo pretty all decorated with butterflyes on it you know I love them....It's just really sad that your name has to be on a tree remembering your short life and sweet soul...Merry Christmas Chris and the Kempa family too... Christina - Saturday, December 15, 2001 at 00:32:49 (MST) Yesterday evening I attended the university graduation for my students. They were all excited. Throughout the facility were family members proud of their graduates and their accomplishments. It was a happy exciting time.... I wished my former students well, said hello to some faculty members... and then beat a path for the door. I couldn't bear to stay for the whole ceremony and got profoundly depressed on my drive home. Chris will never graduate from college or high school.... He planned to go to college but someone ended that forever. It is just not fair. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Friday, December 14, 2001 at 13:58:14 (MST) At this time two years ago, Chris and I would be arguing about who was going to give the other better christmas presents. He always did...he was much more creative. My birthday is tomorrow, and I hope that I'll get a little sign from Chris....I know I'll be looking. Corinne <Curcusenvy@aol.com> - Friday, December 14, 2001 at 13:01:43 (MST) 12/14/01.....this "art" is another one of his computer generated images which I know NOTHING about. I believe some way, some how it moves (crawls) but I'm not sure. The photo was taken on Dec. 24th 1989. It was TRADITION to leave cookies and milk for Santa and carrotts and water for the reindeer. Chris is sliding out the reindeer water! Today, after work, Claudia and I tried to visit the annual Franklin Art show but the Media Center was closed at 3:10......So we looked at the showcased work....Scott had two pieces showcased!! That's GREAT Scott.....Oh my....remember GREAT SCOTT?!! Later this evening Adam W. and I did some Christmas shopping......on the way home he very excitedly, and I very responsivly, saw, and pointed out a Chris : KEEP YOUR EYES ON THR ROAD bumper sticker.....on a STRANGER'S car!! It made me feel GOOD...Like we ARE getting the word out..... Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 23:38:41 (MST) Chris~I've been thinking a lot about you lately and I was wondering if you could do me a favor...can you help out Anna up in heaven? It's her first Christmas up there and I don't want her to spend it alone. Thanks sweetie...thinking of you always. Michele - Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 22:12:03 (MST) Dear Adam, Fran and Adam...as we all get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this holiday season, I wanted you to know that Chris is ever so present in our thoughts. He has not been forgotten...and remembered always!! Much love always... JoAnne <jgvpri@aol.com> - Thursday, December 13, 2001 at 18:55:30 (MST) 12/13/01...We call this sketch CHEF....ABSOLUTLY NO idea the story behind this one...but I KNOW there is a story, only Chris can't tell us any more. The photo was taken in December 1989. Not only was it tradition to take their picture in front of the fire place, it was also traditon to take their picture by the front door after we brought the tree home from the hunt every Christmas.....some years the hunt was quite extensive and exhausting! Notice how EXCITED chris was .....you can just see it....fists clenched and face SO smiley with anticipation!! We selected a paint color tonight for our new "family" room. It hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of the store.....I realized both the carpet color we chose, CANVAS, and the paint color we chose, PARCHMENT are ART related!....Tell me Chris DIDN'T have a hand in this!!!! I'll NEVER believe it! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 22:23:37 (MST) Thanks for looking out for me on nights like this Chris...I'm so sad and lonely again and I don't know why. I know that you are watching me and helping me out and I thank you so much. I love you. a friend <XXXX> MI USA - Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 21:11:42 (MST) This is a really wonderful site that commemorates Chris well. I'm sorry to say Chris and I hadn't been close since 6th grade, but a day doesn't go by in my life that I don't wish I would've kept in touch with him through middle and high school. I remember buying tree frogs together, skateboarding at St. Mike's, drawing Marvin Martian together. We had a lot of great memories. Thank-you Kempa family for this site, I'm glad you're keeping him alive through his art work. Robin Muir <Nibor031@aol.com> - Wednesday, December 12, 2001 at 15:04:46 (MST) 12/12/01.....Adam calls this drawing CANDLE. Who ever would have known candles would become such a big part of our lives! I keep one burnig on the mantle and the porch as continuously as possible. I call them Chris' eternal flames! And we try to get to the Memorial ALMOST every night to light several. Some times even they stay lit for DAYS! The photo was taken in December 1989 at Livonia Mall. Chris still believed...Adam hadn't for a while! We found this Christmas list a few months ago while clearing out the attic for the dry wall which was just completed I'm HAPPY to say! It's dated Dec. 12, 1991. It's written on a Schoolcraft College Blue Book. As name it's written : Adam + Chris K. For subject it states : Christmas Lists. For time of Class : Dec. 25. For Instructor : Santa Claus. For grade it states : 6 and 2. I believe this was the last year Chris believed in Santa Claus. I know Adam will be happy that the only list I'll write here is Chris'! It's headed : Christmas List - Chris K. 1) 2 G.I. Joe guys 2) 2 Waldo Action figures 3) Mega Man Nintendo game 1, 2 or 3 4)Domino Rally glow in the dark 5) A G.I. Joe vehicle 6) colored pencils 7) Waldo fun book 8) Some Addams Family fun cards 9) 2 Terminater 2 guys 10) Marvel guys 11) Bionic Commando Nintendo game 12) A Lego boat 13) A Micro Machine train 14) 2 toy guns (sound making) 15) G.I. Joe weapons set 16) Some baseball cards 17) 1 poster After the list Chris wrote a letter to Santa. Dear Santa, The things I want the most are the action figures, the Nintendos, and the Micro Machine train. Love, Chris P.S. Say Hi to Rudolph. At this time we were 3 months in to double house payments, FOOLISHLY buying Berwick before selling Auburndale BELIEVING Auburndale would sell FAST!..HA! We didn't know WHAT the boys would get for Christmas! But as I always believed until 11/20/00....things just have a way of working out and they both had a WONDERFUL Christmas! MY Christmas card idea for this year became a reality today THANKS to Adam William....they turned out GREAT! It was a wonderful idea inspired by Chris! Last year at this time I couldn't even begin to think about Christmas cards....I was still writing 100's of Funeral Thank Yous. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 22:59:49 (MST) 12/11/01....Underneath this picture Chris wrote, "This is a picture of me falling." Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 09:51:12 (MST) 12/11/01 once again, I'm not sure of the particulars of this drawing but it ALWAYS freaks me out.....it's as if he drew in advancce what happened 11/20/00....he had EVERY detail down! The photo was taken in December 1988 while tree, wreath and garland shopping. One year ago today I went back to work. I have vague memories for I was still SO MUCH in a fog. My co workers were very supportive....I've worked with many of them for almost 10 years now. They told me to play it by ear, take it one day at a time, and that's exactly what I did! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 10, 2001 at 22:36:12 (MST) I haven't written in here in a long time...cuz I was never sure of what to say. Then I realized that it wasn't so much what I had to say...but that I said it. Chris was SUCH a great person, and it's still hard to think that he's gone, when his life was only just beginning. I hadn't known him very long, but I still remember the convos we had and the poems he had written and sent to me to read. They were always so beautiful. I met Scott again at the talent show on Friday...for the 2nd time *the first being at the funeral home*. He is such a sweet person. While I was talking to him, he noticed the pin of Chris I had on my jacket, and just in that I could tell how much he missed Chris, as I think many others do. We love you and miss you Chris, and all the best to the Kempa family. ~*Megan*~ Megan <BBallGrl1285@aol.com> - Monday, December 10, 2001 at 17:13:31 (MST) 12/10/01....Adaam calls this drawing DROID. Once again, I believe it was just a sketch of some future BIG IDEA....comic book, film, animation...who knows? The good thing is CHRIS knew! The photo was taken Christmas night, 1987. Chris was three and a half and Adam, just shy of eight! I love this picture. It shows how truly CLOSE they were! They truly loved each other as brothers and friends....while it lasted. One year ago today I STILL hadn't driven since 11/20/00! It was a Sunday. I was going back to work the next day, Mon. the 11th and knew I'd better get back behind the wheel. It was VERY HARD!... To get in and propell the weapon that killed your child down the road.....very hard. I also knew that sooner or later I would HAVE to drive through that horrible intersection. I'll never forget the feeling I had as I drove...I can't describe it. I decided rather than drive the actual route of the driver, I'd reverse it a little. Rather than north, I drove Merriman south ,from Elmira, some how thinking that would make it easier. I'll never forget SCREAMING, like I'd never SCREAMED before as I passed the SCHOOL ZONE CROSSWALK sign...I'd forgotten about that. Then, I felt the need to turn around and head north on Merriman to make sure there was also a SCHOOL ZONE CROSSWALK sign posted there prior to the intersection.....and sure enough..there was. More SCREAMING. Mind you, at this time we STILL had NO IDEA who killed Chris so I had NO IDEA he didn't just pass these school zone signs on 11/20/00 randomly. I had NO IDEA at the time, he passed them EVERY DAY, coming and going FOR YEARS!! And driving through the guessed point of impact....I can't begin to explain. To this day, EVERYTIME I drive it ,I either blow a kiss, make the sign of the cross, or say "I LOVE you honey" as I pass the pole. One year ago tonight we attended the National Children's Memorial Day Candle Lighting at Kellogg park in Plymouth. Our dear friends, the Allens and the Deadys accompanied us....once again, possibly too soon to attend such an event. It was held again last night but we chose not to attend. WE put Chris' name in for the Compassionate Friends Christmas tree in the park. We had a nice long visit with Caleb tonight. Chris LOVED Caleb! They were SO much alike. Sweet, but rather troublesome at the same time when they were young! Both MUCH more outgoing than their older brothers!......and did they both ever turn out to be such AWESOME young men! We exchanged many Chris stories and LAUGHED a lot...I hope he didn't notice me holding back the tears A LOT! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 09, 2001 at 22:49:03 (MST) Chris has been in my thoughts a lot lately, our memories, our fights, our fun times. The memories hurt....deeply, but i know they are always gonna be with me, i hope i dont forget! sometimes its hard to picture him at the very times that i need to or want to, songs play on the radio and i think of what he did when they played. i think of times i heard those songs with him around. i listen to cd's and all i can think about at times are him, and his beautifull being. his awesome kind heart, his beautiful eyes and hands.....what am i talking about? EVERYTHING of him was beautifull, but those at times were the most i could think about. I see stuff in stores and sometimes think to myself, "oh my gosh! im so gonna get this for chris for christmas!" but then drop the item as i remember the fact that i cant. It hurts, i just wanna crawl up into a ball in my room, and cry my eyes out, but as you know my room does not exist in the mall, so i have to hold the tears inside. i hate not hugging him, i love him, and i think he will for always be the one i love. But there are always those good things that come to mind, that make me just laugh or smile. no tears required, just happiness. He was an awesome boy with an awesome sense of humor that could get me to laugh when no one else could. i guess i just needed to get that out, i needed to send that out into the void. to get it off my chest, so thanks for listening, Chirs-->>i love you, and i hope you knew that! you meant a lot to me, and thankyou for loving me back. love always-your punkrocker forever punk <rocker> - Sunday, December 09, 2001 at 19:14:58 (MST) 12/9/01 This work Adam calls Blueface. I believe this was also done shortly before he was killed during his short lived Junior year. I know I've said it before but I'll say it again,.....it's the picture his cousin Joan chose to have copied and framed for her High School graduation present this summer. As I understand, it now proudly hangs in her dorm at Furman University in South Carolina! I know Chris is happy about that! Notice once again, the focus on the LEFT eye!! The photo was taken in December, 1987. Chris still believed but Adam had figured it out by now! He is SO SMART! He and a friend actually sat down and discussed and reasoned it out .....then he confronted me.....I couldn't lie. I had to agree with their findings but asked him to play along for awhile for his brother and he very willingly did! I very happily received another E mail from Colleen today. She said she was happy to see I still attended school functions.....and did that bring back memories of last year. There was NO WAY I could have attended the talent show last December. It wasn't the kids.....it was me. I couldn't stand to see them so full of life and talent and energy when I knew Chris WASN'T!! All I could do last year at this time was MOURN his death. I am so happy to say I've obviously made some progress! This year I can celebrate the lives of Chris' friends while STILL mourning his death. I now know what I KNEW last year but couldn't see for the fog. Chris is in EVERY one of his friends and the endless number of people he touched along the way! And as Colleen said, he is VERY HAPPY I am now able to do this! He knows I LOVE the KIDS!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 08, 2001 at 23:10:31 (MST) The Franklin Variety Show is always an amazing event to direct due to the incredible talent that we are able to showcase on the stage each year! Friday, I was especially touched by Cori's rendition of "Yesterday"...without a word of dedication, it was quite obvious that the melody was accompanied by a deep feeling of loss and love for Chris. I felt it deep in my soul, and as the tears welled up, I thought of Chris...the wonderful young man he was, and the wonderful young man he continues to be in so many hearts, minds and souls. He was there, and I have no doubt he heard every note... Fran~thank you for the kind words and the remarkable support of our theatre...you are a beautiful person with so much to offer this world. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. Ms. Hillman - Saturday, December 08, 2001 at 22:29:47 (MST) A Brother's Prayer Dear Lord, please hug my brother as I often long to do. Kiss his cheek and tell him "Your brothers missing you." Tell him of the memories that dominate each thought Of him and I together and of the love he once brought. Tell him of the tears that pour from my heart at the painful realization that we'll always be apart. tell him that I'm trying as hard as it may be to move ahead, love again, and live successfully. And tell my precious brother just how much his short life meant. He gave me a deep understanding of life that could only be heaven sent. And lastly, loving God, make sure he can see how I'll always love him and how much he means to me. Author Unknown - Saturday, December 08, 2001 at 17:54:38 (MST) Tread gently near the tender souls who've lost a child, Whose hearts are bruised, broken and bleeding. For healing comes SLOWLY, With pain in every forward step, Tears in every backward look. So much love still flows for that special one. Arms reach out to hold and back to cling, But reach forward only numbly, Fearful of forgetting or being disloyal by going on. There is guilt in laughing, feeling pleasure,EVEN being alive. There are questions, longs, heartaches. But slowly, surely, strength and healing come in God's own time. Not as answer nor forgetting, but as acceptance that this pain, This loss is ours to live with and somehow By God's grace to us to bless. Jean Splettstoesser <TCF Pike's Peak, Co.> - Friday, December 07, 2001 at 23:55:51 (MST) 12/8/01....Adam calls this drawing BLACK. It's one of two REALLY good ones Mr. Rheault found in the art room months after Chris was killed. He was so kind to give them to us. I'm not sure, but I think this one was done during his short lived Junior year. The photo is another from Christmas evening 1985. I loved that little suit Chris wore. My Mother bought it originally for Adam's first Christmas. When you see pictures of them both in it, side by side, it's very hard to tell them apart! We went to the talent show at Franklin tonight. It was what I call a "xanex night." I wouldn't have missed it for the world but knew I'd need a little help...and they do....only for special hard Chris situations....certainly not everyday. Caleb Deady, Cori Smith and Scott Allen performed a very pretty song written by Scott...I forgot the name..another boy I did not know played drums. I was so happy to see three of Chris' best friends....the three best, playing together. Caleb is awesome on the piano, Cori ans Scott have beautiful voices and Scott is awesome on the guitar. The drummer was great too....and while I was enjoying the performance, I was thinking, if Chris was still here ,I bet this is the act he would have been in. Caleb and his girlfriend Colleen Baidoon did a song together. Caleb played piano and she sang,.....beautiful voice, strong voice. Then sweet Cori who was Chris' first love, stood alone and beautifully sang YESTERDAY. There were many more very talented acts but these were the ones that meant the most to me. The show ended with a tribute to George Harrison. Scott played guitar and opened it then many of Chris' friends sang back up. I wonder if Chris and George watched it together! It was a GREAT show as usual. After the show I made a point to see each one of the kids and tell them how great they were. I gave Cori a big hug ...told her how beautiful YESTERDAY was and said it made me think of Chris. She replied "It was for Chris!" She said her father suggested she do it for last years show but she wasn't familier with it. After she read the words last year she told her Dad there was no way she would be able to get through it. She got through it this year and did a BEAUTIFUL JOB! And it's always so nice to see Angie Hillman and her Mom. Two very dedicated ladies.....definate assets to Franklin! Something horrible ALMOST happened tonight. We were driving down Cranston in the middle of the middle block. No street lights, only head lights doing approx. 30. All of a SUDDEN with out warning, a BLACK cat darted out, right in front of the van. We had No trouble seeing it and EVEN though he was RIGHT in front of us, we had PLENTY of time to apply the breaks....and guess what?......the cat is still alive! That was a PERFECT example and SURE made me wonder even MORE about 11/20/00. Fran Kempa - Friday, December 07, 2001 at 23:16:36 (MST) Chris...I have been bugging Jason for a week for Chris button's he keeps forgetting to go to your house and get them....Tonight he had the idea to stop bye and get em...I wasn't too thrilled with the idea...I didn't wanna bug your parents or anything...I asked Jason don't they mind if you just stop in? Don't you ever feel guilty? He told me no they don't really mind and yea he sometimes feels guilty...At any rate we stopped bye at 8:50pm tonight I got to see your cat Felix...But knowone was home....Maybe another time for the buttons... .. - Friday, December 07, 2001 at 21:26:09 (MST) Even though I have never met Chris i shared his last name. i read this site and felt sad and my prayers go out to his family. Jilian Kempa <sgaljill@aol.com> - Friday, December 07, 2001 at 16:51:06 (MST) 12/7/01 This drawing I believe is from one of the MANY comic books Chris was planning to write in his SPARE time! Some he completed, most he just had thoughts and drew possible characters for. The photo is another from Christmas morning 1985. I was reading the directions aloud for one of the presents for the boys. Note the Santa hat AND pacifier! He was SO happy!! One year ago tonight, we attended the Franklin Art Show. The one Chris was so proud about...the one where Chris had so many works featured....the one that Chris was planning for well in advance by making flyers....only Chris WASN'T there!! I can't begin to explain how that felt....walking through those doors for the first time after he was killed. I can't begin to explain it. After going to the library and seeing his displayed work, as people we knew began to file in.....I had to LEAVE! I wore his sweater that night....the black ribbed turtle neck we bought together at Old Navy just two months before he was killed. I'll NEVER forget walking the halls of Franklin alone after I left the library. I'll never forget walking with my arms folded across my chest....almost hugging myself and the weird feeling .....like he SHOULD BE HERE! His art is here...where is he?? I'll never forget the talent show practice was going on that same night. I'll never forget thinking......Chris SHOULD have been here for two things tonight.....the art show AND the talent show practice. I'll never forget as I walked the halls of Franklin aimlessly alone, seeing two girls almost pass each other and then stop. I'll never forget the one girl saying to the other, "Where have you been?".....She was obvisouly late...I'll never forget the other girl saying ," Sorry I'm late.....I died!" I'll never forget stopping that girl and hugging her and saying, "Oh PLEASE honey, don't say that, my son DID die, it CAN happen!" I'll never forget both girls just looking at me ....I'm sure they thought I was strange. I never asked their names and I never offered mine....but it was weird.....something I could have easily skipped if I'd had a choice. I'll never forget walking back to the library and MISSING Chris SO much! Tonight we'll be back at Franklin for the talent show. Some of our dear friends sons are featured and I can't help thinking.....Chris WOULD have been there.....NO DOUBT! Many of Chris' dear friends are performing as well. And as ususl, Angie Hillman will be conducting the whole thing so WONDERFULLY! I wouldn't miss it for the world ...the only thing I'll miss is Chris! I KNOW he would have been there this year too...his LAST year at Franklin. But I BELIEVE he WILL be there.......just on a different level! Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 23:23:50 (MST) "I wonder if you're alone up there Since you've been gone, I've been alone down here She told me that I would be OK Now I don't believe, what she had to say When she said don't worry, and you'll be fine It's only a matter, a matter of time As she sits back and finishes her wine She prays to the lord I'll be fine Now days have passed, and weeks have too All I think about is how I miss you She told me that I would be OK But I feel the same that I felt that day when she said dont worry and you'll be fine its only a matter of time" - <-> - Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 14:26:46 (MST) 12/6/01 one year ago tonight was our first Compassionate Friends meeting. It was a Wednesday, not Thursday. It was the annual Livonia Chapter Candle Lighting, just as last nights was. Perhaps not the best, first meeting....so emotional, but last year we didn't know. I just HAD to see other people, other people who had been through the most horrible, worst loss one can, or can't, imagine. I needed them to tell me, even though I didn't believe it, "You WILL survive"....and that's exactly what I found there. After a year, I see a room full of people just like me. If you didn't know, just to look, you'd never know. But once you start talking, just like me....it's just below the surface. It doesn't take long...And the sad part is, there have been new people at EVERY meeting. Last night we saw many people we hadn't seen in a few months. The candle lighting in December and the balloon launch in May are the two most popular meetings. Last year and this year they played the same song to start the ceremony. Over the months, some people mocked us for the Memorial, some people mocked us for the benefit concerts for the scholarship fund and some people even mocked the candle light vigil. I found it so interesting, after the tragedy of Sept. 11th.... how did THOUSANDS of people respond?....with memorials, benefit concerts and candle light vigils! This song might in some way explain the candles. LIGHT A CANDLE BY PAUL ALEXANDER FROM THE CD LIGHT A CANDLE AND SONGS OF REMEMBRANCE CHORUS: And I will light a candle for you To shatter all the darkness and bless the time we knew. like a beacon in the night The flame will burn bright and guide us on our way, Oh today, I light a candle for you. The seasons come and go, And I'm weary from the change. I keep moving on, you know it's not the same. and when I'm walking all alone Do you hear me call your name? Do you hear me sing the songs we used to sing? CHORUS: You filled my life with wonder, touched me with surprise, I always saw that something special deep within your eyes. And through the good times and the bad, We carried on with pride. I hold on to the love and life we knew. CHORUS: Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 06, 2001 at 08:58:45 (MST) There was once a procession of children marching in Heaven. Each held a lighted candle , and as they marched , they sang. Their faces shown with happiness. But one boy stood alone. "Why don't you join us, little boy?" one happy child asked. " I can't," he replied. "Everytime I light my candle my mother puts it out with her tears." Author Unknown - Wednesday, December 05, 2001 at 23:43:54 (MST) 12/6/01.....the art is another example of the detail in the APPLE drawing he threw out 11/19/00. The photo is another from 1985....Christmas morning.....note the SANTA HAT! Tonight (12/5) was our Compassionate Friends Meeting....it marked our first year of being members of "the dead kids club" as Adam sometimes calls it. I'll write more tomorrow but right now I'm too tired.....the meeting DRAINED me! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 05, 2001 at 22:08:58 (MST) What an adorable drawing! Definitely future Christmas card material! Note to Dad~Yes, it will, Amen! MCS - Wednesday, December 05, 2001 at 19:04:12 (MST) 12/5/01....Adam changed the art after midnight! I thought he was going to put this up tomorrow. This ISN"T the DERILICT flyer that was up at midnight, this is THE picture Travis Messenger was kind enough to share with us. He said it's form fith or sixth grade....so 1994 - 1995. I SWEAR it's a self portrait! From his first Christmas on....Chris ALWAYS wore the Santa hat! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 05, 2001 at 15:59:18 (MST) The guestbook was getting pretty big, so I archived all the old entries and started up another one. Thanks! adam <adam@kempa.com> - Wednesday, December 05, 2001 at 16:25:34 (MDT)