11/6/02...The art is a close up of the Left eye of Einstein...once again, the detail is AMAZING in person. The photo is another taken August 26, 2000. That's Adam, Chris, Cousin Bill, and Cousin Kelly's son Bradley....Another VIVID memory! The afternoon of the night of the party, both boys came with us to help decorate the hall and learn the sound system Adam was to operate. Chris video taped the event. We gave a copy to my parents, but unfortunatly, I can't find our copy anywhere....I fear Chris may have taped over it..he did that a lot! Last night I was putting the dogs in their cage as we were going to vote. I was telling them we had to go do our civic duty...right after I said that I said, "Oh my God Adam, do you remember, that's how they identified him that morning...from his Civics book!"...you NEVER know where a memory will come from...good or bad. I had neglected my civic duty after Chris was killed...hadn't voted since 11/00. When he was alive, I rarely missed one. There was really only one election I was interested in knowing the results of...at this point, still don't. We voted at Grant Elementry school...Adam only attended Grant for a few years, then was accepted into the ACAT program. Chris attended from K-6...After we voted, I talked Adam into taking a walk through with me...again SO MANY memories. I was VERY involved with both boys schooling...but I have to admit, more so with Chris. There was only one teacher's name we recognized...good old Mr. Backiel! I guess he's become a Grant institution. After we voted, we went to the dollar store that opened last year in the Larry Foodland plaza...right next to Chris' loved Entertainment Tonight. We bought dog toys...but all I could think about was how much I bet Chris would have loved this store! Sounds silly, but it's true! Funeral Homes in the neighborhood of the Nursing Home I work at, often donate flowers. I've always thought it was such a wonderful thing! Yesterday several arrangements were delivered....They were all done up in Fall themes, cat tails, straw, and fall colored flowers..and my mind went racing back to Chris' wake...it was horrible!...You NEVER know where a memory will come from... good or bad. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 10:14:45 (MST) They say the two most important things you can give children are roots and wings. It's very easy to see after visiting this site almost from the beginning, Chris had, and has both....He truly was an earth angel called home early for a much greater plan! Thinking of the family at this difficult time of year. Mary Saia <Westland> - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 22:57:17 (MST) The other night we drove past the memorial and an old James Tayor song came on the radio, Fire and Rain. One fragment of the verse was... "the plans they made put an end to you" So true. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 14:55:29 (MST) I remember working with Chris and how he always was happy. He was always telling about some new video game or new system that was about to come out. He would even bring in a magizine to work when he got bored. I did learn one more thing from Chris, and that is to live each day, through the good and the bad, no matter what happens. I appreciate each day more and more now. Because i know that I might not be here tomorrow, despite what i might think. Thank you chris Dan <dlatarski@aol.com> - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:57:03 (MST) Fran, Adam, and Adam: Chris's memory is kept alive on a regular basis. Just last weekend, Billy lead a confirmation retreat and his talk was about Chris. I think evry student that Bill comes in touch with "knows" Chris. They all talk about him and pray for him...regularly. Please know that his spirit is kept alive and prayers are being sent his way all the time. We will NOY let him be forgotten!! Love you all!! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:53:01 (MST) All of us will go to our graves with the belief that he never should have been taken from us so young. He never should've had to go with so many thing left undone and so much that still needed to be accomplished. I know that as this time of year roles around the memories are even more abundant. With the question WHY? in mind. It shouldn't be this way but please know that everyone still thinks of him. He didn't even know me and I think of him and your family everyday praying that things are becoming easier to cope with. I do know that nothing, in fact, could ever make this easier. But he is still remembered. No one can take that away. I've seen many Chris Kempa stickers on the bumpers of cars lately. More than ever! It makes me happy. He is still with us. Colleen Baidoon - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 08:43:15 (MST) 11/5/02...The art is the Einstein I asked Chris to do for me in mid October, 2000. I was worried that he had invested way too much time in computer animation and graphics and had neglected his drawing. I put it to him as kind of a challenge...show me you still have it type thing. He got to choose the picture, but I chose the medium...pencil on paper..his best! He chose Einstein and drew him on his bedroom floor...as you can see, the results DID NOT disappoint!...He knew he still had it and was very proud to prove it to his Mom! Adam inherits Edward...I inherit Einstein...I feel like I comissioned it! The photo was taken August 26, 2000 at my parents 50th Anniversary party. EVERYONE was SO impressed with both my boys!...And I was SO proud! Election day....Chris was still alive for the 2000 Presidential election, but did not live to see who became President. In the days following the election and leading up to his death, he would often rush into the kitchen while I had MSNBC or Fox News on....he'd briefly look at the TV and say, "Is that stuff STILL going on?"...then he was gone in a flash...literally. These last few days of writing here have made me realize what a turning point 11/20/00 SHOULD have been in Chris' life... NOT the tragic turn it took....He was on his way to deliver a letter to Cori, stating exactly how he felt, he was to start computer animation at the Career Center that VERY day...his speciality, he was to do his commercial presentation in Radio and TV, he was scheduled to work at Larry's that night and had Drivers Ed on Tues....And ALL of that was just STOPPED! I continue to FIRMLY believe, this should NEVER have happened..it was ALLOWED to happen. And I continue to state, I will take that belief to MY grave. Fran Kempa - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:45:22 (MST) Hey Chris, I drove by your house tonight, I hope I didn't freak out whoever was standing outside, it's just that I wanted to remember you again. It's one of my most favorite things to do. Somehow, when I remember you and all the cool stuff you used to do, I feel younger, happier, I feel stronger when I remember you. I can't stop thinking about how I get to spend forever with you and GOD in Heaven, and I won't stop praying that everyone else will too. It was by GOD's love that you were brought into my life, and by HIS love, who you were, left their mark in my life. I'm scared about going to college next fall, but I remember you being sort-of fearless about the future. You helped me remember that it's all in JESUS's hands, and I can't really change it, so why not adjust to it?. Chris, you're way to good to forget, and I hope that everyone just keeps remembering you and smiling and laughing at the joy that you brought into their lives. I love you and I'm praying for your family and friends. I miss you, but life is a breath, and soon enough I'll see you, so I'm just going keep remembering you and growing into the person you've helped me to be. good nite. Jen Gossett <guitarchick@msn.com> - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 21:06:05 (MST) I remember that week when chris and i thought of that commercial. it was going to be little lisa in a can, but lisa really didn't like that idea to well lol. but i still have EVERYTHING that chris and i did in that class, anything that had is hand writing i kept so that i have something to look at and remember the fun times chris and i had in Radio & TV. But as much as i didn't want to do the commercial, i did it more for chris then for myself...he was a BIG piece missing in the commercial. But i'm glad i did it. miss you kiddo. Katie B. - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 12:21:28 (MST) Once again, just want to say, the Memorial looks BEAUTIFUL! Chris must be proud! A Franklin Parent - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:09:09 (MST) Miss you always! Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 09:22:21 (MST) 11/4/02...The art is the same Lady Bowler as yesterday. The photo was taken on August 25, 2000. We were in Buffalo for my parents 50th Anniversary. The night before, we went to visit Grandma Kempa...the photo was taken at her house. Between 8/25 and 11/19/00, two more pictures would be taken with me and the boys..which I consider a small miracle. I am SO happy to have them! In this picture you can see...they looked SO much alike! When Adam graduated from Franklin in 1998, Chris started that fall. All of Adam's friends that remained as Sophomores and Juniors called Chris, a "miniature Adam!" Had he lived, I imagine they'd look even more alike now. Chris would have matched his height by now...or maybe even surpassed it!..I do wonder. We did the Memorial last night. When it came to the Indian corn, Adam asked if I wanted it secured with wire. I said no, let's just let the squirrels drag it away....Chris would like that! Contained in Sunday's paper was the Toys R Us big toy book. Chris LOVED that thing! AS he got older, his focus was on the video games...but he looked at it every year for years..including 2000. Katie's entry here made me remember one of the many last things Chris and I talked about. On Monday 11/20/00 Chris and a few others...Katie was one, were scheduled to present their commercial for their Radio and TV class. They had written it themselves and Chris had drawn the panels. The imaginary product was called, "Spray Away"...a spray that eliminated obnoxious people...if I recall correctly, Lisa Gibson played the part of the sprayee! I remember Chris telling me about it so vividly, LAUGHING as he talked! But as horror would have it, Chris never did present his part of the commercial. I believe someone told me Katie very bravely went on to do her part and did an excellent job....despite the fact that an intricate piece was missing. We still have the papers that contain the original Spray Away commercial...complete with Chris' little panel drawings. Fran Kempa - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 07:29:03 (MST) It's hard to believe that it will be two long years since our dear Chris has been gone. Although his physical body is gone, his spirit has never really left us. Look around your everyday life and I am sure that there is a part of Chris there. I think that all of us need to remember that so that even when we are old and grey and may have forgotten other friends that we have lost touch with, all we need to hear is an old song on the radio or see an old picture or just "feel" that things are just right for the time...and remember Chris until we meet with him again. Chris-YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!!!!! A Friend - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 07:27:22 (MST) Thank you for your comments. This is a tough time of the year. Simple fall chores remind me of our everyday life before Chris was killed. It is a very hard time of the year. He is greatly missed... The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 18:35:35 (MST) i miss you, think about you, and pray for you every day chris.... please keep watching over me buddy.... Cousin Bill Bill USA - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 17:46:29 (MST) As each day goes by this month i find it hard to get through everyday without breaking into tears. Each year makes me look back and see how much stronger chris and i friendship has gotten in the last 2 months of his life and i would always think how much stronger it would have gotten if he was still alive. Everybody tells me that him and i were just "school friends", yes i admit that, but it doesn't change the fact that even though i only saw chris in school, that i always charish the days that i spent talking and goofing around with him in school. I regret not getting the chance to spend time with him after school, but i don't regret ever saying that he was one of my best friends since the 7th grade. but i don't think it matters how long each person has known him, we ALL share the same amount of pain and greif for the lose of this wonderful young man. but it's another year where we all have to face the fact that this was a big turning point in our lives, something that we would never expect to happen....but it did. but we have to stay strong, with our heads held high and get through another year, we can and we will.....as i speak for myself and everybody that knew you, we miss and love you always, our dear beloved chris. Katie B. - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 01:27:45 (MST) 11/3/02...the art is the drawing we've come to call LADY BOWLER. Chris drew this on the diningroom table over a long period of time. If you could see the dress detail in person, you'd not only understand why it took longer than usual, but wonder if maybe the detail was manufactured rather than hand drawn....I can honestly say, it was ALL done by hand....having seen it unfold before my EYES in various stages. The photo is another taken in mid August, 2000. Chris, and Casey's cousin Ginny on the beach. If you look closely to the left, you can see a handful of sand running through Chris' hand...frozen in time!...Just like Chris!....Chris and Ginny...Ginny was/is a VERY beautiful girl...the photo doesn't do her justice. She had been over to the house and swimming in the pool many times that summer..I kidded Chris...I said, "she looks like a Barbie doll!" But typical, loyal, faithful Chris ALWAYS said, "mom, Ginny is a beautiful girl, and I like her....but she's too young...I like Cori!"...Most tragicly and unfortunatly, what Chris had come to discover in the following months...He not only liked Cori...he LOVED her! He was carrying with him that horrible morning a homemade BIG card stating that love! He showed it to me Sun. night 11/19/00....just the cover, not the contents!... and it was still in his school bag 11/20/00 AFTER the police returned it to the house. Days later, I gave it to Cori myself...I believed she had to have it,...she had to know. And to this day, I believe she and I are happy I did!! Fran kempa - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 22:32:35 (MST) 11/02/02...Weird looking date, when I saw it written at work today, it reminded me of 11/20/00...too many 2's... too many 0's..and I was extra careful with everything I did today. Same awesome Edward as yesterday...this photo does him NO justice...He HAS to be viewed in person to be appreciated. The photo is one of many taken in mid August 2000. Chris was duck walking on the beach while at Casey's cottage. I never knew these photos existed until the candle light vigil, Nov. 20th 2001. Casey's Mom Beth sent several photos to me that night via Casey...and I was SO thankful! She not only sent me the photos, she labeled each one on the back with a yellow stickie note. On the back of this one it reads, "Lake Superior Pictured Rocks National Shoreline 8/00."....Three months and ten days to live...but NOONE knew! I am SO THANKFUL to have ALL these pictures that captured him as he was JUST before he was killed....and as a result, ALWAYS will be! It dawned on me today, while I no longer decorate the house for holidays, I do decorate the Memorial. And that is fitting because of the four of us, Chris appreciated all the decorations the most! The mums have died at the Memorial and must be removed. I intend to put gourds and Indian corn there tomorrow along with the remaining pumpkins. I joked to Adam last night, "and by doing that, not only will we honor Chris, but feed every Squirrel on West Chicago!...Which brought me to more Chris memories. I don't recall the year...Alex and his parents still lived next door so it was at least three years before he was killed....A BABY squirrel found Chris in the yard and FOLLOWED him where ever he went! We compared it to that duck thing known as imprinting...where the first thing you see, you think is your Mother....the baby squirrel thought Chris was his Mother...and Chris LOVED it!...He was a good Mother! By the time I came home from work that Saturday, not only was the baby following him, he was climbing up his pant leg...and he LOVED it! We were enjoying the show for a while....but didn't realize the problem until Chris went to go into the house....and the baby tried to follow him! At that point we decided to confine the squirrel to a bird cage we had in the garage...which he did NOT take kindly to. We ended up letting him go in the very back part of the yard....no where near Chris! We all believed he found his squirrel family that day and we never saw him in his baby state again...but believed we saw him AFTER he grew up! A few years later...and again, I don't recall the year, but it was AFTER Alex and his parents moved from nextdoor. IRONICLY, a squirrel was hit by a car in front of our house. Our new neighbor nextdoor, and again ironicly, our neighbor across the street, Kim, the one who died one month after Chris, begged Chris and Adam to beat the squirrel with a shovel to put him out of his misery. They weren't able to do that...it was still a living thing, so they scooped him up on a shovel and put him behind the little house in the back yard. Chris tried to feed him grass and give him water in hopes of reviving him...By the time I came home from work that Saturday, the squirrel had already died a natural death.....and Chris and I had a lot to talk about...and we did. Fran Kempa - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 18:20:43 (MST) WOW! THE EDWARD THING...WHERE HE SAID THIS IS FOR ADAM ABOUT TWO MONTHS BEFORE HE WAS KILLED...DID HE KNOW...DID HE DO IT ON PURPOSE? XOXO - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 18:00:11 (MST) Thanks to whoever left the Halloween candy at Memorial Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 13:47:16 (MST) 11/1/02...The art is Chris' most awesome masterpiece....Edward Scissorhands drawn in Sept. 2000 on his bedroom floor. I will NEVER forget him calling me into his bedroom to cretique his most recent creation......and I will NEVER forget being SO AWED! I said, "OH my God Chris, this almost looks REAL!" And while he was PROUD, he was very realistic. He told me...."This is for Adam." Adam has had a thing for Edward for years and Chris was just trying to acknowledge that....Adam Wm. will inherit the original Edward....LUCKY! This is the art work we gave to many graduating Franklin Seniors in 2002...the year he should have. They ALL LOVED it! The photo was taken in mid August, 2000. Chris had gone to Casey's cottage in Munising with our mixed blessing.....I KNEW he'd be homesick.....but... he wanted to go. He did and was he HOMESICK!! But look at that picture......LOOK at that gorgeous boy, ...the defination in those legs and arms...he was a very fit specimen in this photo and when he was killed...he was 6'1" according to his autopsy and SOLID!! For November, I have chosen the very last photos of Chris and his last art works. We got through Hallowen pretty well last night...Adam gave out the candy, and I controlled the dogs. Thurs. we had a business appointment in downtown Detroit. After, we went to dinner in Greektown....Pegasus...we ordered the flaming cheese as an appetizer, and to honor Chris...I know he was laughing! Primetime Thursday featured a psychic...or thought to be a psychic. I must admit I was skeptical until I met with Rev. Carrie of Angel Vision on 9/8/01...after waiting almost a year, and driving to Fenton,...The session was UNBELIEVEABLE!! She right away tuned into the fact that I had lost a child....not a mother or brother..she knew I was there for my child. She told me he was with my maternal grandparents....and told me my Grandfather's name was ED....which it is . She then went on to tell me how Chris was killed...and what he died from....I NEVER said a word...and EVERYTHING was SO right on! At one point, she said, "He's telling me you have a Birthday coming up."......Mind you this was Sept. 8th and my Birthday is Sept. 13th!.....and still..I hadn't said a word. She then said, "He says, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!"....."MAKE SURE DAD TAKES YOU OUT THIS YEAR, CAUSE I CAN"T"....Adam had forgotten my Birthday for at least three years in a row, and Chris and Adam picked up the slack! There were many more things that hit home during the session and then she asked if I had any questions....I said, "Just one, does Chris know the real reason why the driver didn't see him that day?"....Her response was unbelieveable, but confirmed the truth and there was NO WAY she could have known....she said,"Do you mean because the driver was...in his.....and most likely shouldn't have been....Then and there I BELIEVED!!!....There was NO WAY she could have known! Fran Kempa - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 23:18:13 (MST) I was a thousand piece puzzle put together. I knew who I was and why. The pieces fit together so nicely, As we walked through this life, you and I. But you've left me and now this puzzle, Has been tossed and whirled about. And I can't seem to put it together. For some of the pieces have been left out. So who am I now that you've left me? How does this puzzle of me take shape? The pieces don't quite fit together, Not even using glue and some tape. I wish I had something to go by, Like a photo of me all complete. So I could see if the pieces are started right, Or just give up to defeat. Yes who am I now that you,ve gone, I know I'm not the same as before. This puzzle of me is missing pieces... Critical ones from down in my core. I'll j8ust keep turning the pieces over, Until I find out who I'm supposed to be. It's just going to take some time Lord, To figure out this picture of me. Who Am I Now? <Ferna Lary Mills> - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 17:36:19 (MST) Praying for you today! Kathy <mskatep@aol.com> - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 07:14:14 (MST) 10/31/02...The art is the beautiful picture Chris took of Jen Gossett in Sophomore year's photo class. The picture was taken Halloween night, 1990. Adam was Captain America, Chris was Flash....before the Ewok costume, these were my masterpieces. The boys helped me make them by giving me the details and I sewed away!....and LOVED every minute of it ! Two years ago tonight, Chris and I were home alone for some reason. I don't remember where Adam and Adam were. I was answering the door and giving out candy while Chris was in the basement and that bothered me...that was so unlike Chris...It was Halloween, one of his favorite holidays! When I questioned him why he wasn't going out or at least helping answer the door, he became rather defensive so I didn't press....just went back to answering the door. At one point, the bell rang and there stood Caleb!...I was SO happy and relieved to see him. As the night progressed, I heard much laughter coming from the basement while Chris and Caleb talked and played video games. When Kathy came to pick Caleb up, Chris walked him to the door and we both said good bye to him. As he closed the door, I told Chris how happy I was that he and Caleb had gotten together. He looked at me very seriously and said, ..."Had to Mom, it's tradition!" Then he was gone in a flash to return to his video games....but it was true, from the time they were three until that night, Oct. 31st 2000, Chris and Caleb spent every Halloween night together....it was tradition... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 22:50:15 (MST) I once again find myself sitting in darkness. There is no reason to have lights on. Children will be coming to my door. But for now, they'll think I'm gone. Again, it's time for Halloween season to begin. Children dressed in costumes and attire. I want to see their smiles and hear their laughter.. Oh, but for now it still sets my heart afire. I haven't always been the way I am tonight. I once had a child that did the same. I would decorate the house and yard with goblins. Oh my child loved to share the game. Then one day my child went away to Heaven; Oh I was left in pain wondering why. I pray everyday to somehow find my way, But for now, I do nothing but sit and cry. Then I will have to face the other holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. Only a mom who has walked this pathway, Truly understands this dreadful fear. For I once cooked a full course meal, I could have fed an army here. Smells of the holiday season filled the air And family came from every where. Then there was the Christmas season, Oh the days were filled with fun. I once enjoyed the days shopping for gifts, But for now, I just want to run. I want to be happy for others at this time, But I have yet to learn the plan. I truly want to share the Holiday season, But for now, I don't think I can..... And I know you understand. But For Now <Kaye Des'Ormeaux> - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 15:31:21 (MST) 10/30/02...Same art and picture as yesterday. I think Adam is finished with mid terms today. The photo I thought would be here is a photo taken Halloween night, 1985. Both boys are in their costumes, both homemade. Adam was a robot, Chris was an angel. The best costume I ever made was for Chris in 1994, fifth grade. He was an Ewok. As we tried every time, we had every detail down. We even cut fake fur and gluded it on to a pair of canvas slip ons to make the furry feet. We still have the costume, most unfortunatly, I can't find any pictures of Chris in it. I can't believe I didn't take any but then as I now know, anything's possible. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 09:56:08 (MST) ......I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" "Gone where?" Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at that moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"..........And that is dying... Gone From My Sight <Henry Van Dyke> - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 18:34:16 (MST) 10/29/02....The art is the Hand/Man drawing I love so much...one of so many. The photo....those darn doggies keep showing up! Adam is very deep in mid terms right now so I don't dare ask him....what's going on?!! His college career was derailed once already by a driver...I just want him to concentrate on school! The photo I chose for today is a picture of Adam and Chris during one of the Rosedale Neighborhood Assn.'s Halloween parades....The year Chris was Batman and Adam was Joker!...Fun, fun times!!....We all remember making the costumes! Last night I saw a commercial for the first time for a new Disney film....an animated Treasure Island, called Treasure Planet. I KNOW Chris would have gone to see this one...."Not for the movie Mom, for the animation!"...that's what he always said! I was so happy to see the entry from Alex in the guestbook! Alex was a friend of Chris and a former nextdoor neighboor on Berwick. When we moved to Berwick in 1992, Chris was in 2nd grade and Alex in first....soon after, their friendship evolved. Chris respected Alex over the years for his intelligence and Alex respected Chris for his creativity...and in that mesh, they became friends. Shortly after we moved nextdoor, Alex went to private school and Chris remained in LPS...but they maintained their friendship. About three years before Chris was killed, Alex and his parents moved away to be closer to his school in Bloomfield Hills. Chris and Alex maintained contact over the phone and possibly online...He, his Mom and Dad came to Chris' wake and Alex's Mom told me how Alex missed a few days of school as a result of Chris' death...it hurt so many people. While we aren't planning any formal event for 11/20/02, I want the November web page to be special. I spent a lot of time yesterday planning. The photos will be from SEVERAL taken in the last few months of his lile, Aug. 2000 to Nov. 2000....We are SO lucky to have them...the art will show some of his very last works. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 16:27:08 (MST) I only just discovered this site and found out about the whole benefit shows and scholarship fund thing (must be that Wayne county local stuff isn't covered in the local section in Oakland county), and frankly, I am touched and proud that my very good friend Chris should generate such a noble legacy. I happened to find this place because I was looking for pictures for the senior page of my yearbook, which is essentially a montage of people's faces with a caption of "Thank You", and I wanted very much to include my friend Chris. I wish that the photo gallery, or at least the random one, was working. I would like to find the right picture for this little personal commemoration, so if you can help, I would be very much obliged. Alex Wisz <wisz@speedlink.net> - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 20:13:56 (MST) 10/28/02...Same memorial tribute as yesterday. For some reason, the photo is of Charlie and Speck again...I don't know why, it's not the photo I chose, but then I'm not the programmer. There must have been a problem...they're so cute! Sunday morning I woke up, turned over and looked at the clock...7:09...the EXACT time the blonde police woman KNOCKED on the door 11/20/00...Could she possibly think I'd forget?! Sunday afternoon, Moriah showed up at the door! She brought me a very nice gift from an angel store....an angel card and an angel coin. On the back of the coin it says, "Find strength in an angel's touch."...We are! As usual, we had a very nice visit and talked about many.... mostly, Chris things....but some Moriah things too. Two years ago tonight I was facing four uncarved pumpkins by myself...I thought Halloween couldn't happen without pumpkins.....I was facing them by myself and I thought,...I can't do this by myself.....I stopped Chris as he was dashing out the door to go to Ron's. He never did go out that night...he stayed with me...he drew the faces and carved, I scooped seeds and goop....and we had such fun! Some days I regert stopping him from having one last time with his friend....but most days I'm SO glad I did because by stopping him, I created a wonderful lifelong memory for myself!....little did I know at the time.. I just needed help! Since 11/20/00, I have discovered that Halloween still happens without pumpkins, it even still happens without your child... the one who loved Halloween So much! Fran Kempa - Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 22:36:03 (MST) 10/27/02...The "art" is the tribute written by Mr. Rheault on the back of the program for the 2001 Livonia Civic Center Library Fine Arts exhibit. We were very touched that they chose to dedicate the exhibit to Chris. The cover of the program featured one of his self portraits. They were also very kind to display many of Chris' works there....The photo was taken Christmas evening 1987. Chris was 3, Adam 7..almost 8. This is one of many photos that captures just how close they were. In a way, I've always believed the loss is much more devastating to Adam than to us...he'll have to live with it a lot longer. For a few years there, as they grew older, they annoyed each other at times. When Chris was killed they were in the process of becoming really close. They had begun to recognize and appreciate each other for their own individual talents. Chris had just designed the logo for Suburban Sprawl records for Eric, and had made several flyers for the Recital. He also did an awesome computer animation for Recital. Their talents were similar and complimented each other. At times, I pictured them working together in some capicity as adults. Every year, a woman I used to work with would go on and on about how much she HATED Fall. She was older and has recently retired. Before 11/20/00 I would always say, "Jan, how can you possibly hate Fall? It's cool and crisp and the colors are beautiful." She always replied the same way, "It's cold and wet and everything's dying...I HATE Fall!" I tend to agree with her now. Fran Kempa - Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 10:17:20 (MST) Praying that the truth will be known soon. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 20:50:34 (MDT) 10/26/02...Same lego mosaic as yesterday. The photo was taken on Christmas morning, 1984. Chris has on a bib that says, SANTA'S HELPER, Adam is consumed in one of his gifts. That was the first major holiday we spent together, just the four of us. The last was Christmas 1999. While Chris was still alive on Easter 2000, we had company for the holiday so we weren't alone. Two things that came in today's mail really got to me. One was a new mailimg from CCS......It's not addressed to Chris anymore, they now address mail to Mr. and Mrs. Kempa. The other was a coupon from the new Tim Horton's near our house. It featured an iced cappuccino....Chris LOVED cappuccino! I know he would have taken them up on their offer and tried it! There are SO MANY recent tragedies in the news. Many have been marked by Memorials and candle light vigils to honor the lost ones. I hope the person who mocked us for these very tributes to Chris now understands somehow. Fran Kempa - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 10:51:34 (MDT) Wondering what is happening out there? The truth is coming closer, day by day. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 00:50:45 (MDT) 10/25/02...The art is the awesome LEGO mosaic Adam made of Chris a few months after he was killed...If I recall correctly, it was finished in Feb. 2001. It continues to reside in front of the fireplace in the livingroom as pictured. Adam's latest ongoing Chris project is another portrait mosaic...made from beer bottle caps...not all his, many friends save them for him. This portrait will be much larger, but I believe, just as awesome. People will ask, "How'd he do that?" about the bottle caps just as everyone who sees the Lego mosaic does. The photo was taken in Dec. 1984 just after seeing Santa. Chris was 6 months, Adam was just shy of 5....we were gearing up for his first Christmas. Oprah's show of 10/24 was more testimony to the belief, where there's life, there's hope. Sometimes, I SO wish Chris had survived the impact...even though I know he'd have been horribly injured...you can't tangle with a heavy vehicle at those speeds and not be injured...at least there'd be some hope I think. But then I KNOW, after reading his autopsy, he NEVER would have been the same...he would have been a vegetable...just existing with NO quality of life..tube fed, contracted...I could go on..but in some way I am thankful God took him and didn't make us have to decide whether or not to continue life support......or worse yet, to have to see him every day, linger as a vegetable...I think that would have killed me more than his death did....God is merciful. Adam was cleaning his wallet this afternoon and found within it an old pay stub of Chris' from Larry's Foodland! It's dated 2/25/99. He worked 15 hours that week. He grossed $77.25 and took home $64.00. Adam said he had no idea how it turned up in his wallet. Over the years, a few things we bought the boys, we made them pay for over time....the whole amount, or just part. I figured it most likely was a check Chris had turned over as payment for something extra he bought and we financed....we thought we were teaching them a life lesson and I believe we did. Fran Kempa - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 16:13:28 (MDT) The truth is like a great body of water on the other side of a dam. The truth will leak out no matter what you do........ We are not afraid of the truth are you???????????????? Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 23:54:47 (MDT) 10/24/02...Same one eyed muscle tooth as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1989...the day Charlie entered our lives. We were all sick that Christmas...some sort of flu...we all had very high temperatures, but luckily, as usual, it was just the four of us so we were all sick together...but unfortunatly couldn't fully enjoy the puppy that day. It's hard to see in the photo but Charlie is right by my feet. In the background are gray tarps...we put them down over the carpet in case Charlie pooped or pottied...and he did! At first, Chris thought we should name him Jack, but I came up with Charlie and we all liked it and it fit him...so he was Charlie!...He is proof of love at first sight! I love the new Target commercial..."SWEET HAPPY LIFE..." It reminds me of Chris and Adam. That's all I ever wanted for my boys...Chris was living it..Adam still is. I KNOW Chris was SO PROUD of us last night!...He continues to guide us. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 23:02:16 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 10:55:16 (MDT) 10/23/02...I neglectd to comment on the photo...I honestly don't recall what year it was, but I know it was on Berwick so after 1991..It shows Charlie in action, the worlds best dog present opener...even in his senior years, as evidenced by his 13th birhday, he can open presents in record time! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 23:02:54 (MDT) 10/23/02...The art is one of MANY whimsical drawings we found on Chris' school papers after he was killed. Adam W. calls it NO NECK...after a dental appointment Tues....and even before, it reminds me of a tooth. I also find it interesting it depicts only ONE visable eye...even though it's the wrong one... Monday night I had a very vivid dream about Chris and me. In the dream, Chris was much younger than he was when he was killed...5 or 6 maybe.....He and I were in the van, driving south on Merriman. We turned right on Joy Rd. The next thing I remember, we were WALKING on the sidewalk on Joy Road. To the left, there was a VAST lake...to the right, a sandy beach....I said to Chris as we walked, "I don't remember this lake here before.....do you?!!" He never said anything in the dream but I gathered he didn't recall it either.....After we had walked down the beach for a LONG time, we noticed some stairs to the right, off the sandy beach. We decided to take the stairs and found ourselves in our living room.....We sat down on the couch and I just held him for a long time....We didn't talk, just hugged....then I woke up....I've had very few Chris dreams since he was kiled, but he never speaks in any of them....including this one. The first minutes of N.Y.P.D. Blue really hit home last night. It showed the covered body of a 16 year old boy lying in the road. Suddenly, the father rushes up to the scene and says, "That's not MY son....he just went for a bike ride....IT CAN'T BE!!".....And I thought, "My son was just going to school....YES!!!, most unfortunatly,...it CAN be!!" Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 22:56:12 (MDT) 10/22/02..Same Panel #16 from HMmmm. The photo was taken on Christmas morning, 1992. Both boys look startled in the picture! They were going for their stockings....that was tradition, stockings first, then presents! You can clearly see one of Chris' nutcrackers in this photo. I have a dentist appointment today...which made me think of new Chris memories...both teeth related....In the summer of 1992, our first year on Berwick, our first time with our much dreamed of pool, the boys were swimming with the Allen boys one evening. They were playing MARCO POLO. At one point, Chris jumped off the side of the pool and struck his chin on the metal rim...thus, breaking one of his two front teeth...I don't remember which side. I called our dentist right away but I was unable to reach her that evening. She called me the next morning in response to my messages and Chris was seen shortly after her call. They bonded his tooth...and did a VERY good job...no one could ever tell...it wasn't even mentioned in his autopsy. In the summer of 1994, once again, the boys were playing with the Allen boys. They had been swimming and then went into the other yard to play badminton. They still had on their bathing suits. At one point, Scott swung his racket and it came apart. He was still holding the handle while the racket end continued forward and struck Chris directly in the mouth. His gums were bleeding quite badly and I wasn't sure if there was any tooth involvement. Scott felt VERY BADLY. But we all knew it was an accident. I took Chris to the dentist right away and luckily, there was no damage to his teeth! I know I am NOT alone in missing Chris SO much these days. Fran Kempa - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 23:02:55 (MDT) 10/21/02...The art is panel #16 from Chris' HMmmm comic book. The photo was taken on Christmas Eve, 1989, we were still living on Auburndale. The boys were putting out the milk, cookies, carrots and water for Santa and the reindeer. Note the cookies are Chips Ahoy...that's one thing I never was, a baker..not even Christmas cookies. I made most Birthday cakes over the years but that was it when it came to baking. I always told the boys that was one thing they had to look forward to in a girlfriend and wife..... Last night I saw a story on the news about the Degas exhibit..it's opened. And even though it's Degas and the Dance, I still think Chris would have gone...maybe during lunch one school day, he could have easily walked to the DIA from CCS. I also saw a commercial for the Detroit Zoo's ZOO BOO. Kathy Deady and I took the kids one year..I don't remember the year exactly...we were still on Auburndale so it had to be before 1991. We went at night and some of the things were pretty scary! Chris and Caleb had the best time! I remember there were SO many pumpkins, we wondered what they did with them after ZOO BOO. Chris and Caleb asked someone and they were told they fed them to the animals...they thought that was VERY funny!.....REALLY MISSING Chris this time of year. Fran Kempa - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 14:15:17 (MDT) The truth is out there, and it will come out. Miss you always Chris, Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>>> - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 23:43:15 (MDT) 10/20/02....Same 1992 Time cover from yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas night 1992, our traditional desert with Birthday party. Twenty three months since he went away, seems like for ever, seems like a day....it hurts very much to admit, as more time passes, it feels more like forever. Two years ago, Chris had only one month to live, but we had no clue. He was living such a full, wonderful life. He was consumed with school, Players, work, guitar lessons, art works, animations, writing songs and poems, ortodontist appointments, upcoming Drivers ed and spending time with his numerous friends who were just as creative as he was. At this time, he was gearing up for the Autumn Bash 2000 at Churchill high School. He was experimenting with different sounds and altering his voice on the computer. He would call me into the computer room to hear his latest one and each time I was amazed! We had NO idea of the existance of certain people and would have much preferred spending the rest of our lives without that knowledge. Sara or Adam, or Sara AND Adam must have missed any hint of Halloween around this house. I noticed a pumpkin sitting on the kitchen table Sat. morning as I let the dogs out before I went to work..I thank them. Today the wife of a former resident came to visit us at the home. I had become close to her over the years, she came to Chris' wake. Everytime she visits, she makes it a point to find out how I'm doing...I wish I could tell her, "I'm doing GREAT!!"...One of my coworkers brought up the fact that in one month, it will be TWO YEARS since Chris was killed. She then told me for the first time, she still has the card from the funeral home in her mirror and has the article from the newspaper about his death...she then told me how profoundly his death hit her...how it made NO SENSE. This is a woman of 80...there are SO many aspects to ending a life. Fran Kempa - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 16:14:15 (MDT) 10/19/02...The art is a Time magazine cover Chris' third grade class had to design during The Clinton/Bush election in 1992. Chris pictured himself as President and indicated he'd won by 50 votes! The photo is another from Christmas 1992...with that big tree. The traditional Adam, Chris and Charlie in front of the fireplace picture. The mantle holds the traditional wreath, garland and Chris' favorite Nutcrackers! Those traditions were ended in 2000.....no picture in front of the fireplace...just Adam and Charlie?..much too hard and sad. For Christmas 2000 and 2001, the mantle was adorned with Chris things...even though we couldn't use the living room last year. I suspect that has become our new tradition for years to come...Chris things on the mantle at Christmas. Tonight is Homecoming. Since I get to IMAGINE the rest of his life, I imagine even though he'd be in College, Chris and Cori would be attending the dance tonight...her last year at Franklin. I can imagine the energy and excitement!...I bet I'd be ironing his shirt right now!...God how I miss him and all that he was and all he he was going to be. My memories of driving him to Homecoming 2000 are still very VIVID. Since he went stag, it was just the two of us in the van as it so often was. We drove down Melrose to West Chicago for some reason and on the way we noticed some people decorating for Halloween...while our neighborhood is always festive, these people were obviously going over board. Chris made me slow down so he could look and told me we would have to make a point to drive by again the next day to see the finished product..and we did. I will NEVER forget, as we got to Franklin, seeing all the couples and limos and asking him if he was SURE he wanted to do this...NEVER dreaming this would be his last one...NEVER dreaming he'd be dead in about a month. And I'll never forget how proud of him I was when he got out of the van and very confidently said, "Mom, I don't care what people think of me."....And very confidently walked into the dance alone. Last night we were at the Memorial and in the background could hear sounds coming from the Franklin football field... the homecoming game..very sad. Fran Kempa - Saturday, October 19, 2002 at 14:46:21 (MDT) PLEASE don't ask me if I'm over it yet... I'll NEVER be over it. PLEASE don't tell me he's in a better place He isn't here with me. PLEASE don't tell me you know how I feel, Unless you have lost a child PLEASE don't ask me if I feel better, Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up. PLEASE don't tell me at least you had him for so many years, What year would you choose for YOUR child to die? PLEASE don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear. PLEASE just say you are sorry PLEASE just say you remember my child, if you do PLEASE just let me talk about my child PLEASE mention my child's name PLEASE, just let me cry....... Please Don't ...... <TCF Newsletter, Atlanta Ga.> - Friday, October 18, 2002 at 16:29:16 (MDT) 10/18/02...Same art signature as yesterday. The photo was taken in Dec. 1992, our first Christmas on Berwick. That year I INSISTED we get a BIG tree...and we did. I soon learned the negative aspects of such a big tree and never wanted another one that big. Chris is opening one of his gifts in this picture. Claudia and I stopped by the Franklin theatre Thurs. afternoon. Turns out, it was boys only day for practice so we didn't see Cori and Dana. We visited with Angie Hillman the wonderful director for a while...we were taken backstage and shown the AWESOME costumes designed and made by Mrs. Hillman! We then sat and watched the boys go through their lines... they were GREAT... this is difficult stuff...A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM..but they seemed to have it down! There were two girls present, Sara Knopsnider and Jenny Taco. It just so happened, Sara had on her Chris Kempa.com shirt!! We received the copy of the note from the recipient of one of Chris' corneas in Thursday's mail. Just as I suspected, all correspondance must go through the Michigan Eye Bank. A few months after Chris was killed, we received a letter stating that a man and a woman had received the gift of sight as a result of Chris' corneas. One was from East Lansing and the other from Bloomfield Hills....I don't remember which was which. Judging by the fancy stationery, and the feminine hand writing, my guess is this note is from the woman. The note reads as follows: 10/9/02 Dear Donor Family Members, I am the recipient of a cornea from the doner in your family. I wanted to thank you for the WONDERFUL gift of sight....It's a priceless gift. This was my second cornea and they were both successful. I now have perfect vision and don't need glasses anymore...I feel I have been blessed! Thanks again from the bottom of my heart! Love, A grateful recipient I SO want to reply but I must call the bank first to find out how much I can reveal! Once my letter is finalized, I will put a copy here.......It IS wonderful to know, given all the facts, Chris was able to make two BLIND people see!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 22:57:40 (MDT) The change of seasons in this area of the country is something I had always enjoyed. Fall was always one of my of my favorite times of the year...now it reminds me that November is on its way. The news is full of killings of all varieties. Now I not only think of the victim but of the suffering families and friends left behind. Fall winds blow very, very, cold for me now. MIss you always. Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>> - Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 13:56:51 (MDT) 10/17/02...The art is an example of one of the many ways Chris began to experiment with signing his works within a year of his killing...his initials, followed by a happy face was one of many...toward the end of his life, he even dabbled in Japaneese signatures...LADY BOWLER for example. The photo was taken in 1991, Scott Allen's birthday party. Left to right, that's Scott, Pete and Chris! I took both doggies to the groomer yesterday. They had me sign a release for Charlie...in csae he died while grooming...considering he IS 13...I had no problem with that what so ever. When I picked them up, I knew they'd have on festive kerchiefs....which brought me back to a timely Chris memory....In the fall of 2000, I made Charlie and Felix festive MATCHING kerchiefs. The material was a plain cotton fabric, with an autumn design....falling leaves of varied colors on a gold background. Shortly before Chris was killed, he called me to the mud room....."Mom, you've GOT to see this!!"... There was Felix...obviously fighting with his kerchief, he had pulled it down to his waist forming a skirt...it was VERY comical...Chris and I laughed for a LONG time...Both animals had their matching kerchiefs on for the funeral gathering at the house on the day of Chris' funeral...11/25/00... Last weekend, as I cleaned out drawers and cupboards, I found the remnant of the fabric I had made those kerchiefs out of in the laundry room desk....I threw it out...how could I or anyone make anything out of that remaining fabric? Chuck Gadica reported on the 11 o'clock news that it was 37 degrees as he spoke Wed. night....hearing 37 degrees exactly, I went out without a coat and stood on the porch until I got tired....NOT cold....tired. 37 degrees was the reported temperature at the time Chris was killed....While I have checked this before, I believe EVERY time, for the rest of my life, when I hear it's EXACTLY 37 degrees, I WILL remind myself somehow that he WASN'T freezing when he was killed...I absolutly know that now. As a result of repeated harassment in this guestbook and E mails to various persons, I have made it a policy NOT to reply to author unknown entries.....I am breaking this policy to respond to the unknown quote by the Senator.....Her words reflect EXACTLY what I said months ago after seeing a Ford Ranger commercial.....Chris was killed by a man....NOT a Ford Ranger truck!!... Fran kempa - Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 23:46:07 (MDT) Chris....Another young person with so much life to live has passed away..A 17 year old that I know from Farmington died this weekend from a Cocaine overdose....How sad I dont understand why anyone would play games like that with their own life... Or in your matter the lives of others please welcome him as i'm sure or atleast would like to think he's where you are....And second Mrs Kempa I was driving down Merriman the other day passing 8 mile when I noticed a body shop on Merriman that had a Halloween display in it's lawn that almost made me sick....The display was an old what looked to be Chevy car with all kinds of debree on it right under a tree well here's the shocker if you look at the front end of the car you will see it has body dammage as well as a person half on the ground and half on the hood of the car....It honest to god looked like the car hit a real person....I think this was done in VERY poor taste and once again leaves me asking what ever happened to respect for human life in general? ......... - Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 17:42:13 (MDT) Quote from Senator Diane Fienstein on the Abrams Report 10/16/02. Comparing gun registration to automobile registration, "Automobiles don't kill people, people driving automobiles kill people." XOXOXOXO - Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 16:24:22 (MDT) 10/16/02...Same MIRRORS self portrait as yesterday. The photo was taken in May of 1992..we had just moved on to Berwick...no wall unit up in the sunroom yet, the videos were stacked on top of the TV. That last poem pretty much sums up where I am right now...sinking into the depths of the season and the horrible memories. I went to work Tues. and had a full blown BAD Chris day there....I hadn't acted like that at work since I first went back after he was killed. As always, there were many people to talk to. The Hospice nurse was in and we talked for a long time about the after life. The Physician Assistant from psych was in...after being acquainted with her for months, she shared with me the fact that she lost a baby 22 years ago. She told me it took her 5 years to even begin to feel normal again...but she still doesn't.. she thinks about her baby every day. Then she said something that really hit home, she said , "I lost a baby...I can't even begin to imagine the loss of a 16 year old with such a promising future..." I told her, "as you can relate, it's like hell on earth." I may stop by Franklin today or tomorrow and check up on the Player's progress! I am anxiously awaiting the copy of the note from the Michigan Eye Bank! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 22:45:59 (MDT) It's that time of year again, The time you hate to see For it was when I went away And left you behind in misery. Oh Mom I know you can see, and feel the hugs I send, I send them to you daily, Through the hugs of your friends. I can see how rough it is for you this time of year, But when it comes around again, Rest assured, I am right here. I will once again see you cry, Along with the others nearby I will reach down and take your hand, I'll wipe the tears from your eye. So let this message I send you be an everlasting thought in mind, It's that time of year again Mom, But I'll get you through it this time. And when you feel down and discouraged, Just reach your arms toward me, I am there to hold you Mom, Forever and for all eternity. Author Unknown - Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 16:06:30 (MDT) 10/15/02...The art is Chis' beloved MIRRORS self portrait. It hung on the wall between the kitchen and diningroom for months after he was killed. I'm sorry to say, it fell off the nail it was hung on one night while we were sleeping. A corner of the glass was broken and the drawing fell out of the mat...we have yet to have it repaired. It now resides in Chris' bedroom among all of his other works. The photo was taken in 1993 at the Holidome. We all had had a very bad week and just needed to get away. Chris and Adam enjoyed the weekend much more than Adam and I did. I called the Michigan Eye Bank Monday afternoon...they're mailing us a copy of the note today!! Fran Kempa - Monday, October 14, 2002 at 22:30:39 (MDT) The chill in the fall air never blew so cold. A reminder...... Tonight on the way home I passed an accident on the opposite side of I - 96. Flashing lights, police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances just like another fall day almost two years ago........ Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, October 14, 2002 at 19:30:28 (MDT) 10/14/02...Same SWAN drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in 1993, Chris' first basketball team experience...they were the CELTICS! Chris is second from the right, coach Ed Sperry is to the left. Matt Combin is to Chris' right. Brad Allen, the boy's other coach, for YEARS is not pictured. Today has been one of those wasted Chris days...I couldn't even go to work..I just had to vege and deal with it..it's SO NOT easy..but as we were warned in Compassionate Friends..the second year is MUCH harder...it's TRUE! I am very sorry to say, our house has turned into one of those houses Chris HATED...couldn't understand. His favorite holiday next to Christmas..Halloween.. is coming up...and there is NO evidence of that anywhere in or out of this house. EVERY year since the boys were born, we not only decorated the inside, but the outside of the house for EVERY holiday...even the obscure ones like St. Patrick's Day. If Chris was alive right now and entered our house, but it was someone else's he'd come home upset! I can't tell you how many times he came home from a friends house and said, "They didn't have any decorations up Mom, not ONE!" He just couldn't understand that....I think he understands why I haven't decorated now....last year, I at least went through the motions and decorated the porch..but I have NO desire to this year...MORE proof, the second year IS worse... I heard a commercial on TV last night, It's ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG week on Biography channel... Fran Kempa - Monday, October 14, 2002 at 15:29:44 (MDT) what a wonderful, important gift---the gift of sight---and what a legacy for your talented son, who continues to bring beauty to others. kate - Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 14:00:06 (MDT) 10/13/02...The art, Adam calls SWAN. It was done for a third grade project if I recall correctly. The photo was taken in August, 1990.... our first summer at the cottage. The photo shows the vastness of the lake much better than here on the computer...like Chris is the only thing in all of Lake Huron. And that's how it seemed most times, like we literally had the lake to our selves. Chris LOVED it! Saturday I began my annual Fall task of cleaning every drawer, cupboard and closet in this house. Since I never achieve my goal, I started in places I skipped last year. I started in the drawers of the desk in the laundry room. And just as last year, I found evidence of Chris' life...but this time, also evidence of his death. I found a copy of CHRIS'S DAILY CHORES sheet. Something we tried with both boys one year with mixed results. Chris' chores consisted of, Making his bed, picking up his room, putting away any clean clothes, taking dirty clothes downstairs and putting them in the hamper. He and Adam had to make their lunches, take the garbage, scoop poop and walk Charlie. I don't think it was ever followed to the letter...more of a hit and miss type thing. I found the Franklin 2000/2001 student handbook and the Franklin 2000/2001 program of studies book, two paint brushes and our calander from 2000..with all of our sprcial events marked in advance...not only special events but dentist, Dr. and ortho appointments...mostly for Chris. But then, there were the horrible, harsh reminders of his death, contained in the same drawers. The phone # for Angel Vision, the psychic I visited last Sept., a pen from Harris funeral home, and a note from the Priest at St. Mary's ER, written on an Ultram pad, given to us shortly after he was pronounced..another year of crying while cleaning out drawers. In Saturday's mail, we received a letter from The Michigan Eye Bank and Transplantation Center. It says they recently received a note from one of the grateful recipients of the gift of sight made possible by the donation of Chris' corneas....I cried again. We can contact them to receive a copy! I don't know if they do but I HOPE they allow us to communicate with them. I would LOVE for them to know, not only how lucky they are to have his eyes...but to try to explain to them what he saw with those eyes!...Things most people can't even imagine!! Considering the circumstances, all of this eye business is rather ironic. Fran Kempa - Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 11:02:59 (MDT) In my dreams, you are alive and well Precious child, precious child In my mind, I see you clear as a bell Precious child, precious child. In my soul, there is a hole That can never be filled But in my heart there is hope 'cause you are with me still. In my heart you live on Always there, never gone Precious child, you left too soon Tho it may be true we're apart you will live forever...in my heart. In my plans, I was the first to leave Precious child, precious child But in this world ,I was left here to grieve Precious child, my precious child. God knows I want to hold you See you, touch you And maybe there's a Heaven And someday I will again Please know you are not forgotten...until then. Precious Child <Karen Taylor Good> - Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 13:35:22 (MDT) 10/12/02...Same program cover from 1999's Sound Of Music. The photo was taken Christmas day, 1989....Chris riding his big present....notice the training wheels!..That was obviously a very mild winter. One of our "comfort measures only" residents died the other day. She was 90 years old and had been with us for 9 years...I admitted her. I became quite close to her daughter over the years...she was very kind to me when Chris was killed. The day before her Mom died, she went to the funeral home to make the arrangements. When she returned to the nursing home she told me her plans in detail. She said even though her Mom had a plot next to her Dad, she was going to have her cremated. She went on to say she then had to try to figure out what to do with the ashes as she now lives in Florida and couldn't see herself taking them on the plane. She decided to scatter them on her Dad's grave and have a little ceremony there for family and close friends only. When she told me that I was so happy...she gave me such a good idea! I have always wanted to be cremated. I had told both boys in their later years what I wanted if I died...I've also told a few close friends....I NEVER dreamed some of what I wanted for my funeral would be implemented into Chris'....After talking to Pat, I now know I want my ashes scattered on Chris' grave. I've been telling many people lately, the ONLY true statement I can make about the future is, "I don't know."....it doesn't matter the subject, it applies to EVERYTHING in the future. Before Chris was killed I didn't think this way....but now I KNOW...it's the only true statement. Gary Peters has my vote!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 00:09:22 (MDT) 10/11/02...The art is the cover Chris designed for the spring musical, March 1999....The Sound Of Music..Freshman year. He didn't get a part in the play but still felt included and very much a Player through his art...The front of the T shirt for the musical has this same design. The photo was taken June 10th, 1986 during Chris' second birthday celebration...I LOVED that hair but had it cut soon after his birthday. A few people have commented after seeing this picture since he was killed....it's almost as if he's pointing up to Heaven. Yesterday after work I had to go grocery shopping. I'm back into a cooking slump again...not as bad as it was right after Chris was killed but certainly not up to par...as a result, the cupboard was very bare. I went to Farmer Jack, the same store I've shopped at for years, since it opened. Yesterday was a VERY bad Chris day. Soon into my shopping, I ran into the former chapter leader of our Compassionate Friends support group....The woman who greeted me with open arms on Dec. 9th, 2000. Her son has been gone for 7 and a half years now....she was having a VERY bad Scott day..we decided since we had never run into each other before while shopping at this store...Chris and Scott made it happen...they knew we were both having bad days and made sure we ran into each other to console each other...and it worked! We stood in the middle of Farmer Jack for a good hour, hugging, laughing, crying...I'm sure some people wondered, but I could care...she said there's NO ONE who can understand the pain other than someone who has lost a child....I told her, like every rule, there is an exception...she was shocked! I told her that feeling was back in my stomach... that awful, awful, feeling. She said, "You mean the one that feels like someone poured acid in there...that one?" And I said..."YES!"...We then talked about how it NEVER goes away...it may scab over and become less intense...but then that scab gets ripped off, and it starts all over again...we also talked about how this time of year brings it all back....she lost her son in the Fall too....this change of season is SO dramatic...not like spring into summer...which is much more subtle...this is drastic, you can't ignore it...just as we can't ignore the horrible memories.... After I came home, I watched the national news on ABC. They had a story about giraffes and how they communicate with each other...another WONDERFUL Chris memory!....When Chris was 18 months old, for some reason....he LOVED!! giraffes...he called them geeaps. We felt his second Christmas would NOT be complete without a giraffe. I thought it would be a simple task to find a stuffed one at Toys R Us...considering their mascot..but it was very hard. We finally found a plastic blow up one which we purchased and found some good close up pictures of several giraffes. When Chris opened this gift on Christmas morning, he was SO excited! I asked him, "What are those?" Thinking he would very plainly say, "GEEAPS!" He looked at them and VERY plainly said, "REINDEER!" That is one of very few moments we have captured on video! I would treasure it if Chris was still alive...but I treasure it SO much more now! Fran Kempa - Friday, October 11, 2002 at 16:12:59 (MDT) 10/10/02...Same TIME drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken June 10, 1985, Chris' first birthday. It was just the four of us as it was for most special occasions and holidays but as you can see, we celebrated to the MAX! Hats, horns, balloons...and so many presents! Wednesday's LAW AND ORDER contained two lines that really got me. In the beginning, a thought to be 16 year old girl, commenting on the death of one of her teachers said, "I never knew a dead person before." And I thought how many of Chris' friends and ALL the kids he knew at Franklin and elsewhere most likely said or thought that when he was killed. They were of an age where that certainly could have applied. The second last line of the show was spoken by one of the assistant prosecuters. On her way out of court she stated, "Being 16 forever, that wouldn't be so bad..." And I thought, "No, not if you're alive to enjoy it....but it REALLY sucks if you're dead..." I was talking to my new friend at work about this web page recently....the one who recently lost a grandson who was really more like a son...We were talking about what parents/ grandparents of dead kids talk about...keeping their memory alive, remembering them personally, HONORING them... and I said, "Mary, that's exactly what I do with that web page, EVERYDAY....many days before I do anything else, I honor Chris....and I just don't see that changing in the near future." Adam was cleaning his closet Wed. night and found 9 more pictures of Chris from our trip to Disney World in Oct. 1997!!!...Things STILL keep turning up....!!! Like little presents, little signs..."I'M OK MOM!!" Fran Kempa - Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 22:44:08 (MDT) 10/9/02....The art is the drawing Adam calls TIME. Not all the skulls are pictured here. As they go down the line, there are varied frozen motions of the skull's mouth. The photo was taken in Dec. 1984. Our Christmas celebration in Buffalo in my parent's family room. Chris was 6 months old, Adam was almost 5. Adam is opening his BD presents while Chris is enjoying his passie....in the background, ready in case, is his playtex nurser. Monday afternoon, I was shopping in Target for shampoo and toothpaste. I found myself in the HEALTH and BEAUTY section and decided to start in asile one...to refresh my memory, in case there was something I was forgetting. Asile one turned out to be the baby asile and once again...profound Chris memories. I came upon the Baby Magic Baby Bath and found myself flippimg open the cap to smell it....I LOVED the smell back then, that's why I used Baby Magic and not Johnson's then and after smelling both the other day, would still prefer Baby Magic today. As my cart moved down the asile, I came upon Desitin. This brought back a host of memories! For some reason, and I think I was the influence, Chris thouht Desitin was good for zits. I had told him some where along life that my zits responded well to Desitin along the way. For some reason his zit pattern was contained to around his mouth. Every night without fail, Chris would coat the area around his mouth with Deaitin....leaving a very thick, white residue. As a result, Adam W. called his brother "CLOWN" because, that's how he appeared with the Desitin around his mouth. On 11/19/00, Chris followed his normal routine in the evening. He showered and washed his face, then applied his Desitin. When I woke him up at 6:00 11/20/00, there was still evidence of Desitin around his mouth as he went down stais for the LAST time. One of the things I found AFTER he was killed was the BLACK washcloth he used to remove the WHITE Desitin from his face that morning.....That washcloth laid in the bottom of the hamper for almost two years...almost untouched! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 22:56:29 (MDT) 10/8/02...The drawing is the same UNDONE as testerday. The photo was taken in the dining room on Auburndale. Chris in his high chair with his passie. The back of the photo is labeled, Nov.1984.....just 16 years to live but who knew...in some ways I wish I DID know so I could have done just a FEW things differently, not many though, he had a WOMDERFUL life! Today I was driving around much earlier than usual and found myself listening to an AM talk radio station. Dr. Laura was on. One of the commercials hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a commercial for St. Mary's Hospital....Now, St. Mary Mercy Hospital. You can hear the hustle and bustle in the ER, then you hear someone say, "We've got a flat liner here." Then you hear the CPR and the defibrilator...and sure enough they bring him back....Up until that point, it sounded JUST lkie Chris' experience there 11/20/00. The commercial then went on to describe the new St. Mary Mercy birthing center complete with jacuzzis. It just seemed so strange after writing about them yesterday, to hear about them and almost have them recreate Chris' ER experience, short of saving him. I wore the shoes I wore to the last day of Chris' wake and the day of his funeral to a meeting we attended today. There I saw the true face of evil. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 15:12:12 (MDT) It's been a while since I last put something on this site. Theres not a whole lot I think I can say that I allready have. I miss you alot chris. It's been a while but I miss you. Something happened to me a few days befor my birthday. I ended up at a club with some friends. I was left alone for a while and through the smoke, the roaming lights and sounds, I thought I saw you. Just standing there, smiling like you did at the last coming home I went to. Where Keri and I made you dance. I just sat there looking with my wide eyes, wondering if it was real. Later that night is when something happened. The only thing I can think of is that it was a sign. Or something. I don't know. But it was strange and I haven't told anyone. That night I failed myself. I miss you and you where they only other person that I loved, just never told you. Now I am. I miss you my friend. Keep painting those picture. Laura <Laura916@aol.com> - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 21:40:53 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 14:23:34 (MDT) 10/7/02...The drawing Adam calls UNDONE because as you can see, it's not finished. The photo was taken on June 10th 1984, shortly after birth at St. Mary's Hospital. Chris was born and pronounced dead at the same hospital...and just like the events of the morning of 11/20/00, I can replay the events of the morning of 6/10/84 VIVIDLY in my mind like a movie. We took the same route to the emergency room 6/10/84 as we did 11/20/00, Plymouth to Levan. I can still see myself during both car rides. Chris was scheduled to be born by C section days later. But I guess he was in a hurry. On 6/10/84, in the early morning hours, Adam F. and I found ourselves driving down Levan realizing we hadn't really chosen a boys name. The girls name was firm, Elizabeth Anne, but the boys was still up in the air. So that was our discussion as we drove..at one point we even pulled over briefly to firm things...it was definate, Christopher Michael would be the boy. We even joked on the way, "Chris Kempa, sounds like a quarter back!" On 11/20/00 in the early morning hours, Adam W. and I found ourselves driving down Levan. But during this trip there was no joy or joking. This trip was filled with me crying and saying over and over, "It's real bad, I know it's real bad..."and poor Adam trying to comfort me. I never once thought during the ride...that he was dead, but we soon found out most unfortunatly, not only was there no comfort for me that morning, but for many people. Fran Kempa - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 11:00:36 (MDT) Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 23:03:50 (MDT) 10/6/02....Same White House drawing from fourth grade as yesterday. The photo was taken in Sept. 1992, first day of third grade. I don't remember what Chris is holding nor can I tell what it is from the picture. Fran Kempa - Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 14:44:29 (MDT) I searched for you today Through empty rooms and photographs, Through clouds above and yards of grass. I visited your grave, the surface undisturbed. I called your name, cried bitter tears, And left...again unheard. I drove along the road You walked that fateful day; But you weren't there to greet me, So there I didn't stay. I walked around your room, So dark and empty now, I need to find you son, Although I don't know how. I donned a shirt that you once wore A treasurd football jersey, The faded fabric had no life; My spirit felt no mercy. My tears began, I screamed aloud "I need you here with me!" But only silence echoed back, There's no one here to see. You've traveled far without me, My heart feels like it's broken. There's love here yet to give, And many words unspoken. My needs are very great But now you are at peace; I want to be there too And share this pains release. I cannot find you son, And I must bear the pain Of knowing we're apart, And here I must remain. Perhaps some day I'll join you In heaven up above, And then I can unburden This overflowing love. My Search <June Muecke> - Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 20:59:30 (MDT) 10/5/02....The art is a picture of the White House Chris drew in Oct.,1993 for the cover of a fourth grade government project...good old Tim Backiel's class. The photo was taken in June 1987 during Chris' first kid party....his third...it was a beautiful day, we had it in the yard...we had lots of balloons, lots of kids and Moms, and we served hot dogs and macaroni and cheese at Chris' request. The cake was a Transformer cake. Shown in the photo from left are Colin Garland, Chris' friend and next door neighbor, Caleb Deady....that's how far back in friendship they went...and Chris. Behind Chris is Adam W....A VERY VIVID memory! Fran Kempa - Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 15:32:50 (MDT) Just wanted to say, the Memorial looks BEAUTIFUL! A Franklin Parent - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 22:19:14 (MDT) The truth will come out!!! Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>>> - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 02:41:30 (MDT) 10/4/02...Same altered Woody homework as yesterday. The photo is of a little skateboard that was left at the Memorial a few weeks ago. I kept forgetting to mention it here. It's encircled with a letter bracelet and I believe at one point the bracelet was intended to spell out a message....if anyone knows who was kind enough to leave it at the Memorial, PLEASE let me know! Yesterday afternoon I saw a commercial for the Degas exhibit coming to the Detroit Institute Of Arts later this month and all I could think about was Chris....how in my mind he'd be at CCS now and the close proximity to the DIA...they're on top of each other!!...I then went so far as to imagine, not only would he be so close to the DIA, he'd be so close to Wayne State...maybe he and Adam could have met for lunch some days...WHO KNOWS?! I had to go to Foodland Thurs afternoon for a few items. As I turned into the parking lot, I was blown away for a moment. In the distance, in front of Sheldon Hall, I could see two boys skateboarding...one of them haunted me. I took my right hand off the steering wheel, put it over my heart and said aloud, "Oh my God, that could be Chris!" He was dressed in jeans and a navy blue hooded sweatshirt, had brown hair and glasses! As I got closer, I could see they were older boys and had driven to the parking lot as they were now walking toward a car. I proceeded to Larry's. As I was entering, Kevin Hartly was exiting, carrying his skateboard. He spoke first saying, "How are you Mrs. Kempa?" I replied, "Not good...STILL, not good." And all he could say was, "I know, I know." And I believe on some level he does. We then talked about college and work and things in general...then I told him about seeing him and his friend skateboarding as I pulled in and saying how that so could be Chris...Once again he replied, "I know" I thanked him for stopping and speaking and asking how I was doing then I was on my way. It so happened Jenny was cashing in the express lane and I only had 4 items so I got in her line. Right away she was telling me how she and some friends were shopping at Great Lakes Crossing last week and saw a van with a Chris Kempa KEEP YOUR EYE(S) ON THE ROAD bumper sticker....They were successful at some point... at a red light I think, in questioning the driver as to how he got the sticker...tuened out it was Rob Byrd...The drummer gentleman of the Recital! For almost two years now without fail, I STILL have at least one Chris experience per day....NOT at all how I dreamed but I believe, (hope!) they'll continue DAILY for the rest of my life! Fran Kempa - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 22:46:11 (MDT) As the seasons change, Time fades away, The trees to brown, The sky to grey. Our feelings change, As life goes on. Only memories remain. All else is gone. Now we stare, Pray to the moonlit sky, Dream and wish for one final goodbye. The whispering wind, and each shootong star, Call your name, So near, yet far. The songbird dies; it's last song not sung. These sweet refrains: Ode to dying young. From Stars In The Deepest Night <After The Death Of A Child> - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 15:33:14 (MDT) Chris...Another child was hit and kill bye a careless driver....Apparently an 11 year old boy in Detroit was walking down the sidewalk in his neighborhood when a car going 70 some miles an hour hit him..Then the driver got outta the car and ran he didn't get very far though because neighbors that saw what happened chased him down and well wern't too easy on him.....The boys parents however had decided to donate their sons organs I great thing to come out of such a tragic event...I just want you too keep an eye out for that little boy maybe take him under your wing ya know...And also I need a watchfull eye with me today and alot of blessings you know what I'll be doing today so please let every thing go allright.....Thanks Chris and remember keep your eyes open for that 11 year old boy who's life ended so fast.... ...... USA - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 10:21:38 (MDT) 10/3/02...The art is a digitally altered photo of Woody Allen Chris made as a homework project for one of the summer classes he took at CCS for at least three years before he was killed....He LOVED summer school!...After the first year, he BEGGED to go...and as usual, we indulged...but the indulgence was ALWAYS to enhance a goal! In the original photo, Woody is holding an umbrella and there is no COKE logo or reference anywhere in the photo. The picture was taken in Oct., 1990...His first grade school picture proof....six years old. Charlie had his 13th birthday party last night! I couldn't find little cans of Pedigree at Kroger so we had Mighty Dog cake instead. Charlie and Speck each had their own little cake.....We were all there and sang...the three of us...still SHOULD be four...but this year they not only had cake!!!....They had ice cream!..I discovered Frosty Paws a few months ago...and do they LOVE it. I even told Brad and Claudia about it for Dusty, their Spaniel....and he LOVES it too! After cake and ice cream, Charlie unwrapped his presents...he is STILL the BEST present unwrapper, and Speck played with ...and destroyed the toys!....He played with all of them and destroyed two....by that time Charlie was too exhausted to participate...after all, he is 91 in human years! I KNOW Chris was watching the festivities from above...with the knowledge that this was most likely Charlie's LAST birthday on earth...I know he can't wait for him to join him in Heaven! Fran Kempa - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 00:15:39 (MDT) Happy birthday Charlie. joe.cwik - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 21:49:30 (MDT) Happy Bd Charlie! I know Chris will be watching the party tonight! Kim - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 12:56:16 (MDT) !0/2/02....The art is the same CHAZ painting as yesterday from Junior High. The photo was taken during Charlie's second birthay party....ANOTHER FUN time. The other day Sarah was over and we were discussing Charlie's Birthday.....She asked, "Did you REALLY have parties for him?" And Adam WM. and I answered YES!! We celebrated EVERY year with a can of Pedigree dog food and a candle....the boys would blow out the candle...but it was a BIG THING! I tried to explain to Sarah. I said, "For years, I called him thr boys's FURRY BROTHER and my FURRY BABY."...and he was!..........MOST HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHARLIE THE SPANIEL, AND AUNT MOLLY!!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 23:22:02 (MDT) !0/2/02....The art is the same CHAZ painting as yesterday from Junior High. The photo was taken during Charlie's second birthay party....ANOTHER FUN time. The other day Sarah was over and we were discussing Charlie's Birthday.....She asked, "Did you REALLY have parties for him?" And Adam WM. and I answered YES!! We celebrated EVERY year with a can of Pedigree dog food and a candle....the boys would blow out the candle...but it was a BIG THING! I tried to explain to Sarah. I said, "For years, I called him thr boys's FURRY BROTHER and my FURRY BABY."...and he was!..........MOST HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHARLIE THE SPANIEL, AND AUNT MOLLY!!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 23:22:02 (MDT) Days like today make me think about you even more. After almost two years. I still miss you. I always will. with Love always. Janine <copperstars7@aol.com> - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 21:59:13 (MDT) 10/1/02...The art is the painting Chris did of Charlie in Junior High..and Adam has titled it CHAZ. The photo was taken in Oct. 1984, four months old, playing with his crib gym! Monday at work one of the restorative nurses came up to me out of the blue and told me she couldn't stop thinking about Chris for some reason on Sunday. She then asked me if I carried his picture with me and I said I absolutly did and she asked if she could see it. I went and got it from my purse and handed it to her. She said, "you know, at the funeral home I saw all his art, his poems, and him in the casket and all that was very overwhelming." She went on to say, "But it hit me yesterday, I'd never seen him alive." With that she studied his picture and said, "He looks so sweet!" And I said, "Yes Cheryl, that's exactly what he was, a sweetheart." Monday evening I was SO thrilled to find Moriah at the door! I hadn't seen her since the barn show. We visited for a while, caught up on work, school and future plans...and compared some Chris notes! When she left she promised to keep in touch and I believe her!....ALWAYS a pleasure. Fran Kempa - Monday, September 30, 2002 at 23:04:55 (MDT) 9/30/02...Same art as yesterday which I anticipated Man/hand?...but same photo as yesterday, the sweetest doggies in the world, Speck and Charlie, I did not anticipate...but then I am not the programer....wouldn't have a clue how....I'm just the writer and anything Chris related here is Ok with me I guess, no matter how many times it's presented! Sunday evening I went to get some mums and pumpkins from Flower King for the Memorial. Two years ago, I have no doubt, I was at Flower King buying mums and pumpkins for the porch....NOT my dead son's Memorial. While I was looking around, making my selections, I noticed a sign they had made hanging there...it read..."we will have grave blankets Nov. 3rd."...And I thought to myself, "that's good to know!"...And that freaked me out!....Two years ago, I wouldn't have paid any attention to that sign...but Sunday, I not only paid attention to it, I was happy to know it....weird and morbid. Later in the evening, we went to the Memorial, removed the summer plants and put up the mums and pumpkins for fall...I KNOW Chris was HAPPY! As we were leaving, we drove past the pole Chris landed by and saw all the garbage bags there and I said, "oh my God, tomorrow's Monday...garbage day for some but not us....." We had a VERY late dinner Sunday...we finished shortly before 9. I turned on the TV in the kitchen to watch Law And Order but found the very last minutes of the new show, American Dreams.....I was RUSHED back in time...it was almost a flashback...but it wasn't a nun...it was a lay teacher...Mrs. Sindell..fourth grade...but it was a priest, Father Burne, breaking the news of the President's shooting to us. I remembered SO many things SO vividly.....And then, when my mind returned to the present, I thought, "I was 9 years old when Kemmedy was killed....and he was the President yet I remember EVERYTHING about that...Almost 40 years ago... " And then I thought, "if I was 9 then, and 46 when Chris was killed...he was President....He was MY SON!....I shuddered to think how many years I would remember 11/20/00....Until the day I die I have NO DOUBT!....As it turned out, I couldn't watch Law And Order Sunday....TOO many shots of morgues and funeral homes....HAD to turn the channel. Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 22:46:01 (MDT) things are going on school started play has started home coming is coming and even though i know chris wouldnt be here at franklin anymore hed be with us still...and i know hed be dropping by a lot to visit the art room and the theatre but insted of looking forward to when id see him or talk to him next like mrs kemps im dreading the day...the day i and many will NEVER forget for as long as we live...the day we all lost someone we loved so much missing you friend - Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 16:00:55 (MDT) 9/29/02....As I make this entry, Cori and I are IMing each other!....Homecoming is Oct. 19, and I wish her a WONDERFUL time....Even though I WISH she was going with Chris...She IS going this year and I am SO happy....she didn't go last year. This drawing is one of my MANY favorites! It's one we have framed and placed above our mantle in the living room amongst MANY Chris things. Adam calls it Hand/Man?....I call it AMAZING....the detail in person is UNBELIEVEABLE!! Once again, I WISH I knew the story behind it but I don't....and once again, I WISH Chris was here to ask...but he isn't. For some reason, the sweetest doggies picture turned up again...don't know why...but they kept me distracted yesterday..as they do most days, they're such a PLEASURE! Charlie had a bath and a GOOD combing for his soon to be birthday, and Speck enjoyed the show! We brought the shepherd hook home from the cemetary last evening....even though the one remaining plant...the Ivy Geranium was still in VERY good shape, I told Adam I didn't want it and put it by the curb of the cemetary road...like so many others....who wants that reminder. The movie THE GREEN MILE was on tonight. I've heard it advertised all week and each time I heard it it hurt...this was one of many movies Chris LOVED! It is one of MANY movies he watched in the basement as I busily worked away in the kitchen/laundry room and he yelled up, "Mom, you've GOT to see this movie!!" And I yelled down, "I will Chris...someday." The someday didn't even come last evening...I couldn't watch it. Fran Kempa - Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 22:55:27 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 17:31:12 (MDT) The Fall Of Fall What is it about the season that takes me back in time Everything I do, I find you are on my mind. Haunting dreams find me at night when I try to sleep And every little detail is replayed, and the sadness falls so deep. Something about the close of summer, seems to bring it back Making it so hard to move onward and stay on track. Something about the dying and the fading of the trees Brings my heart to sorrow with the falling of the leaves. How I long to stop it, to keep the fall away But time marches on, and summer just won't stay. I know with the fall, winters not far behind Another lonely season, and the memories flood my mind. I cry my tears of sorrow, and pray for spring to come A rebirth of the earth, and the warmness of the sun. It makes the memories softer, and gentler to recall But now my life is saddened with the nearing of the fall. Shelia Simmons <TCF Dallas, Ga.> - Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 13:24:29 (MDT) 9/28/02.....Same angel self portrait as yesterday. The photo was taken at St. Michaels..."St. Mike's" as Chris called it,while skateboarding. I often wonder if he'd still love it as much as he used to....after all, he'd have a car by now. I think he'd still be skateboarding for the sport and I KNOW he would have loved to have helped ALL the young boys I see in the neighborhood just starting out..Chris would have helped them learn some "tricks" as he called them. This weekend we must retrieve the shepherd hook from the cemetary. If it's not removed by Sunday, they'll remove it and dispose of it. Since it's the hook from the pool yard, the one Chris helped me with every year, I want it back....it has sentimental value. Fran Kempa - Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 09:07:41 (MDT) 9/27/02...The painting is a self portrait. There is a companion piece. One he called angel and one he called devil...this one is angel. The photo is another taken in 1987, three years old and decorating the bathroom walls with soap crayons! By that time we had already identified his artistic talent and were trying to encourage it any way possible...and it worked! Thursday I came home from work to find a message on the machine from one of Chris' friends asking if we were planning any type of remembrance on the corner on 11/20/02...and I just crumbled! Sorry Cindy, I don't mean to make you feel bad...I was touched to know some kids are already thinking about it...but it was another confirmation that the dreaded day is once again near. At this point in time we're not planning anything formal...but that could change. After I composed myself, I decided to go through the mail. Contained among the pieces was our Compassionate Friends news letter...and I crumbled again. To this day , and I fear for the rest of my life, I never know what will hit me and when. Fran Kempa - Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 22:24:43 (MDT) Who can say for certain Maybe you're still here I feel you all around me Your memories so clear Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak You're still an inspiration Can it be.... That you are mine forever love And you are watching over me from up above Fly me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile.... If only for a while to know you're there A breath aways not far To where you are. Are you gently sleeping Here inside my dream And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen As my heart holds you Just one beat away I cherish all you gave me everyday Cause you are mine Forever love Watching me from up above And I believe That angels breathe And that love will live on and never leave Fly me up To where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for a while To know you're there A breath aways not far To where you are I know you're there A breath aways not far To where you are Josh Groban Lyrics <To Where You Are> - Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 16:06:25 (MDT) 9/26/02........Same POP ART as yesterday. The photo is one of many I love. It was taken the Saturday after Chris' third Birthday in June of 1987. It was his first kid party...he INSISTED on wearing his Superman outfit!..He was SO excited! Today as we were leaving work, a co worker questioned me about a gallon laundry detergent bottle in the back of the van. She said she couldn't help noticing, it's been there for months..."why don't you take it out?", she asked. I replied, "Oh, that's empty." "Then why don't you throw it out?", she asked puzzled. I explained to her that it's my cemetary plant watering bottle...I carry it in the van all summer. I went on to explain there were water spigits through out the cemetary and I just pull up and fill up. She was embarassed and apologized stating she never would have thougt of that. I told her there was no reason to apologize and I HOPED she never needs to carry a laundry detergent bottle with her. Fran Kempa - Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 14:10:01 (MDT) 9/25/02...The painting is the one Adam calls POP ART. I believe Chris painted it shortly before he was killed since we never saw it until after he was killed. It's the painting that now sits above the fireplace in our new room...I alternate it with TREEGUY. It's also the painting Danny Sperry used on the cover of the Churchill newspaper shortly after Chris was killed to announce the horrible news of his death. The photo was taken June 10th, 1986, Chris' second birthday. He's standing next to one of his presents. That was such a cute thing...besides an umbrella, it had cup holders!...Chris loved it. I was shopping at J.C. Penny's today and the John Lennon song, Beautiful, Beautiful Boy came over the PA...that song ALWAYS makes me think of Chris. To me, Chris was the PERFECT definition of the term "sweet heart."...He had one and he was one. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 22:38:25 (MDT) 9/24/02...Same zebra/tiger sketch as yesterday. The photo was taken very recently of Charlie and Speck. Speck has proven to be a very spirited beagle. Chris would have LOVED him...which brings me to some Chris/dog memories... For some reason for a few years before he was killed, Chris wanted a Chiwawa. At the time I had no desire for another dog, and after many attempts he realized we would not be getting one. He decided that would be one of his first purchases when he moved out. I did feel badly though..so for Christmas 1999, his last, we got him a Taco Bell dog. Poor Adam drove to many Taco Bells to find him! When he opened it on Christmas morning he looked both amused and puzzled. I said, "Now you can't say we didn't get you a Chiwawa! The Taco Bell dog still resides in Chris' room. Charlie has always been a very mellow animal. There was one game the boys played with him that got him the most worked up. I'm not sure how they even discovered it but they found if they got on the bed and all the way under the covers, Charlie went wild! He would bark a very high pitched bark, growl and bite at the blanket. His little saussage tail would go crazy. They called the game "get him " because if I was around they'd say, "Have him get me Mom." I'd stand there and say, "Charlie, get him" several times, and Charlie would. It sounds silly, but it was fun and funny! That was one of the last things Chris and I did together. On Sunday night, 11/19/00, between drivers ed ans Millionare, Chris decided to play with Charlie. He was still in his blue Larry's Foodland sweatshirt and khakis. He got under the quilt and said, "Have him get me Mom.".....and I did. When I drive between the hours of 3 and 7, I always listen to 97.1 Deminsky and Doyle. Yesterday one of their topics was,... if you knew when and how you were going to die, would you want to know?... And all I could think of was Chris. I wasn't in the car long enough to hear any responses. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:31:11 (MDT) most of us are drivers and we all have the potential of this happening. Maybe we would view things differently if the tables were turned. michelle - Monday, September 23, 2002 at 17:13:07 (MDT) Interesting Dave Varga column in Livonia Observer regarding drivers and pedestrians/bike riders. http://observer-eccentric.com/columns/story3.shtml MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Monday, September 23, 2002 at 10:45:01 (MDT) The truth will come out. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, September 23, 2002 at 09:08:11 (MDT) I wasn't sure if Tracy's person who got hit by the car is the boy Jake Keeler knows. Yesterday at church our pastor told us Jake had asked us to pray for his friend who got hit on Five Mile. Seems like we're seeing a lot of people vs. car again. Did anyone ever hear anything about the teen who got hit on Merriman by Marquette a while back? Hope he is recovering. Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Monday, September 23, 2002 at 06:06:44 (MDT) 9/23/02...Another whimsical Chris sketch. Adam calls it a tiger, I STILL say it's a zebra...unfortunatly, Chris isn't around to ask! The photo was taken during Christmas time, 1996. We were in Buffalo and at Aunt Molly's condo for dinner. From the left, that's Adam W., my head, Grandpa Bill, COusin Billy and Chris. This evening I saw the commercial on TV for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show at the Fox for the first time this year. That commercial was around when Chris was very much alive..we used to sing the jingle sometimes. I seriously thought about buying tickets for the 2000 show...I thought it would be something nice to do with my family during their Thanksgiving visit...As distractions would have it, I never got the tickets..and as life played out, that was a good thing. We also saw a commercial for another movie on IMAX...Shortly before Chris was killed, we talked about going to see Fantasia at Henry Ford Museum theatre on IMAX. Chris was very excited about that but once again, for reasons not remembered, we never did. I heard about a movie tonight I know Chris would have had the scoop on a LONG time ago...no doubt from the development stage. It's called SPIRITED AWAY. It's a Japaneese animated film and is currently the highest grossing film in Japan. The announcer I listened to called it an "Animated Master Piece." Chris would have LOVED that and I know that film would definatly be included in his current conversations about endless topics. Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 22:55:29 (MDT) thank you everyone, for your prayers. I havn't heard anything in the past day or so, my mom keeps saying that no news, is good news. I think she went to the hospital tonight, but she's sleeping so I will have to wait to find out later. Thank you again, the prayers and kind words mean so much...I know Chris is watching over him for us Tracy <TracyElaina@hotmail.com> - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 21:22:24 (MDT) interesting how all the Falls lined up in mrs. kempas last entry! XOXOXO - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 15:51:52 (MDT) 9/22/02...Same computer generated space vehicle, "POD" from yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas evening 1996. One thing I never had to worry about was what to have for Christmas desert..everyone knew it would be cake and ice cream. While clicking through the channels last evening, I caught the very last minutes of a Drew Carey show. All of a sudden Drew blurted out, "Marv!" One of his friends said, "Who's Marv?" And Drew said, "That dead kid from high school."....I HOPE that never happens for Chris! Fall is very much in the air today...and I am still, very much dreading it again. But it isn't just Fall...I've dreaded all the seasons for the last two years for different reasons...but ESPECIALLY Fall. Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 13:58:14 (MDT) A little bit of Heaven Came to both of you one day. Then soon this breath of God, Was suddenly snatched away. The joy you built within your hearts Has now turned into grief You feel that nothing found in life Could ever bring relief. Now parents if you'll meditate You'll find it otherwise The grief you have is really, A blessing in disguise. The waters of Eternal Life Have freed your babe of taint Twas meant by God that you Should be the parents of a Saint. Parents Of A Saint <Author Unknown> - Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 16:23:17 (MDT) Tracy, I pray that another child is not taken from his family. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 00:58:22 (MDT) 9/21/02...The art is one of Chris' computer generated works Adam calls POD. It's some space type vehicle he designed. The photo is another taken Christmas morning, 1996. As I recall, I questioned the boys about their dress and the fact that it WASN'T Christmasy. Chris felt compelled to change his shirt. Even though it had a picture of a shark on the back and read, "Miami Beach Florida"...it was red!...I was impressed! Adam chose not to change which was fine. A flood of tough, tough Chris days recently....and more soon to come. I do feel he is still with me...but NOT how I wanted it to be. Fran Kempa - Friday, September 20, 2002 at 22:39:46 (MDT) The world is cruel. My loved one died. They came to bid him farewell, And I cried. I could not smile for them, Those that came. I could only whisper My loved one's name. "Dry your eyes, he wouldn't want you to cry." Maybe that's right But, why do I want to die? I never got the change to say, "Hey brother I love you!" But it doesn't seem to matter now Because somehow, I know he knew. I don't want to say goodbye, So "I'll see you later is fine" For I know I'll see him in Heaven, That beloved brother of mine. That Beloved Brother Of Mine <Claytia Doran> - Friday, September 20, 2002 at 12:36:48 (MDT) Sending prayers for Tracy's intention. Hope & Faith. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Friday, September 20, 2002 at 08:06:33 (MDT) 9/20/02...Same panel #9 from yesterday from the HMmmm comic book. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1996. When the boys were young, I picked out their Christmas pajamas...ALWAYS some festive pair, Red and green or red plaid...as long as it was Christmasy. When the boys got older, as evidenced by the photo, they wore what ever they wanted to wear on Christmas morning...and it was rarely feative..just clothes! I did still have control over what Charlie wore on Christmas morning, and if you look closely in the lower left corner, you can see the red and green Christmas collar I chose, and he wore! We met with Mr. Willenborg, Principal of Franklin yesterday morning. I am very pleased to say we added another $2,404 dollars to the Chris Kempa Memorial Scholarship Fund!....I really shouldn't say we...more like "THEY." We were able once again, to make the contribution in Chris' name thanks to the love, dedication, time, talent and generosity of MANY people! The majority of whom I've thanked, some I fear I've left out....if so I THANK them now! AS we discussed many things, the most unfortunate injury of Tracy's friend was told to us by Mr. Wollenborg.....Tracy, please know, ALL of our prayers are with him and his family...and just CLING to the thought I had the whole drive to the ER 11/20/00..."WHERE THERE'S LIFE, THERE'S HOPE"....My hopes were soon erased that morning but we DO pray for your friend!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 22:51:02 (MDT) Miss you Chris. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 19:38:09 (MDT) I know I haven't posted in here in a very long time. I've been thinking a lot lately about Chris. See, a few days ago, my mom's close friend's 13 year old son was hit by a car. He was riding his bike, crossing the street and someone hit him. He's been in the hospital in a coma since. He's not doing well at all, and we're all very scared for him. The doctors don't think he's going to wake up. I keep remembering all the pain and horrible memories from what happened with Chris. It still feels like it's been days since we lost him. I'm asking for prayers, for who ever can spare them. Please, Chris, watch over him for us... Tracy <TracyElaina@hotmail.com> - Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 17:19:43 (MDT) I hear children laughing And the sound brings my soul such pain. Yet I know in my heart, that life goes on, And I must learn to live again. Some days I stay so busy, I don't even realize you're gone. Then there are all of those other days when I feel like I can't go on. Sometimes I think I dreamed you... that you never existed for real, You've been gone so long and I'm just not strong, For my life has become surreal. They tell me it's time to let go And build a new life without you. But the builder is weak, and I can't even speak, And I don't know what else to do. How long will this pain last, Lord? How many tears have I already cried? It seems like forever since my world fell apart, When my loved one died. Along Grief's Journey <By Ferna Lary> - Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 15:40:01 (MDT) 9/19/02...The art is panel #9 from the comic book Chris wrote and illustrated, HMmmm...about the possibility of life on a one dollar bill. The photo was taken in June, 1994 during Chris' 10th Birthday party. For many summers we had a badminten net set up in the big yard. The boys liked to play volleyball with the big beach ball as they are in the photo...that's Chris going for the shot. We liked to play badminten...the boys did too once in a while. During our very recent trip to Buffalo, I had more one on one time with my mother than I'd had since before Chris was killed. We discussed an array of topics and as usual, I was very honest with my opinions. At one point in the conversation my mother interrupted me and said, "You know, you've become very hardened in some ways." And all I could do was agree with her. I said , "You know mom, you're right...I'm the first one to admit it." I tried to explain to her that it was impossible to experience all that I've had to deal with over an almost two year period...and not be impacted by it. I told her I will NEVER be the same person I was 11/19/00..I have changed and unfortunatly, some of those changes have not been positive. As we were leaving Sun. my father said, "So can we come for Thanksgiving Fran?" For some years my parents and sister came to our house for Thanksgiving and sometimes Easter and my sister's house in North Carolina for Christmas. I had to very honestly tell him, "I'm sorry dad, I don't do Thanksgiving anymore...You're perfectly welcome to come the first or second weekend in November...which ever one I'm off and we can have a pseudo Thanksgiving...but for now, and I suspect many years to come, Thanksgiving is much too close to the most horrible day of my life...and I want to spend it alone or at work." They seemed to understand but I thought it's a shame, at almost 50, to be disappointing your elderly parents. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 22:54:49 (MDT) This is not at all how We thought it was supposed to be We had so many plans for you. We had so many dreams. And now you've gone away And left us with the memories of your smile... And nothing we can say And nothing we can do Can take away the pain, the pain of losing you, but... We can cry with hope, We can say goodbye with hope, Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no! And we can grieve with hope Cause we believe with hope There's a place by God's grace There's a place where we'll see your face again.. We'll see your face again! And never have I known Anything so hard to understand And never have I questioned more The wisedom of God's plan But through the cloud of tears, I see the Father smile and say well done. And I imagine you Where you wanted to be most Seeing all your dreams come true, Cause now you're home And now you're free and... We have this hope as an anchor Cause we believe that everything God promised us is true, so... We wait with hope, And we ache with hope We hold on with hope,... We let go with hope.... With Hope <Steven Curtis Chapman> - Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 19:10:56 (MDT) when will the truth come out?? anon - Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 11:11:42 (MDT) The truth is out there and it will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 01:23:04 (MDT) 9/18/02...Same GUY sketch as yesterday. The photo was taken in the summer of 1994. That's Adam in the front and Chris in the back of his beloved pool..the pool we never opened this year...EVERYONE connected with weather ...including the Farmer's Almanac, predicted a "Cool, wet summer.." Once the pool cover is off, it becomes MY responsibility...Since it was already the coldest pool in the world, I saw myself maintaining this pool ALL cool, wet summer...As a result of the weather predictions, Adam W. and I out voted Adam F., and chose not to open the pool.....As the Kempa luck would have it, it proved to be the hottest summer on record for MANY years..don't think we didn't hear about our decision MANY times over the summer...If Chris was alive, the pool would have been opened Memorial weekend without fail...Chris would have seen to it...weather predictions would not have mattered!...He was a fish! When I went to pick up MY yearbook at Franklin last week, the first thing I literally ran into, was an art display set up right by the front door. I was not prepared for that and instantly I was taken back to Chris...Memories, flashbacks...you name it, they happen...sometimes for an instant....sometimes for a day..sometimes longer.. I find myself still geared to High school time...even though he should be in College...High school time is still the way I think...I had it DOWN...With no art college experience behind me, I imagine what would be...but it's very hard....I'm still in High school with Chris...I am trying to think back in my mind and I think Homecoming is coming up soon...Had he not been killed, Chris would have been in college...but I believe he would have come back to Franklin to attend Homecoming with Cori...now a Franklin Senior, and STILL the love of his life... Fran Kempa - Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 23:44:28 (MDT) Tonight I spent working on the portfolio of Chris's art work, awards and photographs. I just wish it was for application to "Art School" as Chris had planned. Miss you always, Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 00:02:00 (MDT) 9/17/02...This little whimsical drawing, found on a corner of a notebook page after he was killed, Adam calls GUY. The photo is dated on the back, Dec. 1996. One of Chris' works in progress...I don't recall this one at all...and we have never found it since he was killed, so this along with many, was either given away, or thrown out.. but it struck me as SO typical...Creating on his bedroom floor..that is where most of his works were done...including his masterpiece, Edward Scissorhands, and one of the last drawings he did at my request, Einstein. I can STILL see him sitting there on the floor, working away. Once in a while he'd call, "Mom, come here, you've GOT to see this!" And I truly would marvel at his latest creation! I can't begin to explain how MUCH I miss that...not to mention the loss both to Chris and me. To this day, you can enter his room and see an area in the center where the wood floor is clean looking...but all around the edges there are black markings...that is where he went off the canvas or paper while he was working and marked the floor! You can see in the photo a red box full of art supplies stashed under his bed...from the time he was two and still in the crib, there was ALWAYS an art box of some kind under his bed! When Caleb was over Sun. night, we looked at the yearbook together. I had seen it earlier in the week and I have to agree, the Memorial page turned out "perfect" as Cori said...simple yet meaningful....but SAD! And as I looked through the Senior pictures, at ALL the kids I've known for so many years...some since grade school, I couldn't help but imagine Chris' Senior picture contained among them...not at the end...He would have been among the K's...I KNOW he would have worn a suit for his formal picture, just as Adam did. I imagined him wearing the contacts he planned to get in June of 2000, and I even pretended in my mind his braces were off and he was giving a big toothy smile!...He would have been SO handsome, that much I KNOW....the rest, I IMAGINE! Fran Kempa - Monday, September 16, 2002 at 22:55:09 (MDT) It was only one hour ago, It was all so different then. Nothing yet has really sunk in... Looks like it always did, This flesh and bone. It's just the way that we are tied in.. But there's no one home. I grieve for you, you leave me. So hard to move on, Still loving what's gone. Say life carries on... The news that really shocks In this empty, empty page. While the final rattle rocks It's empty, empty cage. And I CAN'T handle this... I grieve for you. Let it out and move on... Missing what's gone, Say life carries on and on and on... Life carries on in the people I meet... Everyone that's out on the street. In all the dogs and cats, In all the flies and rats. In the rot and the rust, In the ashes and dust. Life carries on and on and on... Just the car that we ride in, The home we reside in, The face that we hide in, The way we are tied in... As life carries on and on and on and on... Did I dream this belief, Or did I believe this dream? ..Now I will find relief... I grieve... I Grieve <By Peter Gabriel> - Monday, September 16, 2002 at 15:51:05 (MDT) 9/16/02...Same GUN drawing as yesterday. The photo is another taken in late August, 1995. After the long goodbye at the cottage, it was tradition to go to Wimpy's Hamburgers in downtown Lexington for lunch...then home and back to reality. That's Adam W., me and Chris at Wimpy's. We have just returned from our first road trip to Buffalo since before Chris was killed. We left Thurs. and returned home Sun. Adam presented me with an awesome Birthday gift from him and Sarah when we got back. While I LITERALLY took 100's of pictures of the boys over the years, I never took the time to put most in photo albums...they are all still in the developing envelope from what ever store we had that particular roll of film developed. Adam and Sarah decided to organize the photos for my gift! They purchased an absolutly beautiful photo box...looks like an antique..and has a glass top....where they put two photos of Chris...one as a beautiful baby and one as a beautiful, beautiful boy shortly before he was killed! Adam has ALWAYS given VERY thoughtful gifts...this time he out did himself...I know Sarah helped! Sun. night Bill Deady joined us for dinner...later on we were joined by Caleb! It was SO nice to see him and visit with him...He and Chris TRULY loved each other and I know neither one would be ashamed to admit it! Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 22:56:09 (MDT) 9/15/02...The drawing Adam calls GUN. The photo was taken in late August, 1995, leaving the cottage. There was always a long goodbye, everyone was reluctant..not only to leave the cottage, but to see summer end. That's Bill Deady to the left, Caleb and his crutches, Chris, me and Adam W. I don't recall what we were doing but it looks like Adam and I were describing the same thing, we're making the same arm gestures. Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 13:43:54 (MDT) 9/14/02...Same interesting art as yesterday. The photo was taken in August, 1994 at the cottage on Lake Huron. That's one of the boat brigades with the Deady kids... and Chris out front leading the way! Fran Kempa - Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 11:06:05 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, September 13, 2002 at 09:53:48 (MDT) 9/13/02...The art is one of many I find interesting. Again, wish I knew the story behind it. The photo was taken 9/13/94...eight years ago today, my 40th Birthday. The boys thought it would be funny to put all 40 plus one to grow on candles on the cake...That's Chris to my left, he stuck around, Adam took off...the smoke was too thick! This is my second Birthday without Chris. He was always there for me on my Birthday as was Adam W....Adam F. usually forgot. I STILL have the Harmony House gift certificate Adam F. hurridly purchased at the last minute for my 46th in 2000...he came home and found us having a Birthday party! The three of them signed it. I was SO happy I had never redeemed it after he was killed...I miss him EVERY day, but if it's possible, maybe a little more on days like today....And I can only IMAGINE how we should have celebrated today. Fran Kempa - Friday, September 13, 2002 at 09:50:24 (MDT) so many of us are missing our loved ones today, you are not alone by any means. michelle - Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 16:30:16 (MDT) The art is the same DROID drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in August, 1996 at the cottage. I was happy that long haired phase passed quickly! One year ago today, Sept. 11th had no direct impact on my personal life what so ever...yet people say it's the day that changed their lives forever. I still say 11/20/00 is the day that changed my life FOREVER. It not only changed my life but SO many others. It also destroyed a family. Fran Kempa - Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 08:37:47 (MDT) For shame Yearbook Staff :-( MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 03:02:06 (MDT) YOU ARE AN ANGEL CHRIS Chrissy B - Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 21:31:04 (MDT) even though i didn't buy a yearbook last year, just to hear that they didn't post in the yearbook about Chris being class picasso and unforgetable senior just breaks my heart. i don't know who in their right mind that was apart of the yearbook staff would not post that in the yearbook. Katie B. - Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 20:53:41 (MDT) Perhaps the hardest thing for me is to watch how the death of Chris has affected my wife and Adam. Towards the end of last May there was a small ray of light. We were informed that Chris had been voted the honors of “Most Unforgettable Senior" and "Class Picasso". I would like to thank the students who remembered to nominate Chris as well as those who voted for him. It was a very special thing. However to contact my family members and ask us to provide some photos for the yearbook.......and then omit the photos and any mention of these honors in the yearbook has turned a gesture from the hearts of his classmates into something thoughtless and hurtful. The families of the other students who were honored still have future accomplishments to look forward to. These last two honors for Chris were all we ever will have. Thank you Sunshine and the yearbook staff. Adam F. Kempa Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 18:21:56 (MDT) 9/11/02...Adam calls this drawing DROID. I wish I knew the story behind it. The photo was taken in August, 1995 at the cottage. From the left that's Scott Allen, Chris, Katrina Deady, Deady's cousin James Beckett and Caleb Deady. Caleb had broken his foot or ankle that summer. He borrowed Chris' crutches.....Scott and Chris have their bags of penny candy from The General Store. I can't even begin to explain how DISAPPOINTED I was to learn the honors bestowed upon Chris at the end of last year by his fellow students...MOST UNFORGETTABLE SENIOR and CLASS PICASSO were NOT included in the yearbook as we were told they would be. I haven't seen the yearbook yet, I was told by a friend over the phone last night. I was so touched and so honored that a year and a half after he was killed, his fellow students still thought enough of him to nominate and vote him both of those honors. I couldn't be proud of him for graduating, but I was SO proud about this.... And this wasn't something I imagined as a crazed, greiving mother, I was contacted in May by two different Franklin faculty and asked to supply two different pictures for the yearbook...which I did the next day. I contacted the faculty person in charge of the yearbook first thing this morning to ask why...frankly, she really wasn't able to tell me. She commented that "the Memorial page turned out nice though." Since I haven't seen it, I really couldn't comment. I tried to explain to her how these two honors meant SO much more to me...The Memorial page was designed and paid for by our family, these honors were given to Chris by his classmates, from their hearts. I guess unless you've experienced it you just don't understand. This was a BIG thing to me...but I have learned to live with disappointment. One year ago today I was on vacation. I got up before 9 to let the dogs out. On my way to the door, I turned on the TV on the kitchen counter. The Today Show was on. Ther were Matt and Katie with a burning World Trade Center building behind them. I sat down to watch and minutes later the second building was hit...and we all knew then that this was no accident....and all I could think was, "Oh my God, now thousands of families will have to endure the horror and pain our family feels."....and it NEVER goes away. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, September 11, 2002 at 08:33:19 (MDT) I don't know what all this eye business is but I notice there's also one drawn on each of the pyramids...significant? Mary Saia <Westland> - Tuesday, September 10, 2002 at 16:16:15 (MDT) 9/10/02...Same comic book cover art as yesterday. The photo was taken June 10, 1993, Chris' 9th birthday. It was taken during our family party...just the four of us. He had a BIG kid party the following Saturday....From the time he was three, Chris always had two Birthday parties, a family one on the 10th, then a kid one the following Saturday. In the photo he is seated at his spot at the kitchen counter...the place where he ate dinner almost EVERY night...the place that remains EMPTY as a result of 11/20/00...and most every night, as I sit directly across from that now empty spot... that was filled with such life for so long....just imagine what's in my mind almost every night as we eat dinner....There's NO getting away from it! Fran Kempa - Monday, September 09, 2002 at 22:13:59 (MDT) 9/9/02....The art is the cover of the comic book Chris wrote and illustrated called HMMMm...About possible life on the one dollar bill! In the upper left corner you can see he indicates it is Vol.#1...I don't think there ever was a volume #2...interestingly enough, also drawn in the upper left corner is an eye! The photo was taken in Sept. 1985....Adam's first day of Kindergarten...the day we met Claudia, Ryan and Scott. Chris was 15 months old. You can see we are still walking out the door....but Adam is RUNNING ahead of us...Adam LOVED school from day one...Chris learned to love it... but once he did...he DID!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 22:13:31 (MDT) What a beautiful photo! Kathy - Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 19:01:23 (MDT) 9/8/02...Same APPLE 3, close up of APPLE 1 from yesterday. The photo was taken June 12th 1984 outside St. Mary's Hospital nursery. It was the first time Adam ever laid eyes on Chris. The nurses had moved Chris over to the window so Adam was sure which baby was his. He wasn't able to touch or hold him though. In the hospital he could only see him through glass.... Hospital policy at the time I guess. Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 15:40:25 (MDT) 9/7/02...The art Adam calls APPLE 3..another close up of a section of Apple 1. As you can see, Chris had more plans for this art than just a drawing...here he indicates a section to be cut out...I wonder if he was going to try to incorporate a real apple falling through his art work...and then filming it...something Chris would ABSOLUTLY do!...But I'll never know, I'm just guessing. The fact that he had thrown the art out tells me he had reconsidered whatever plan he had for it...."Don't worry Mom, I'll just do more!"...I can't tell you how many works he threw out over the years...WITH my knowledge!!..and said that to me. I'm SORRY to say, I never gave it a second thought...just chalked it up to "artistic creativity"...but BELIEVED I had NOTHING to worry about...He could ALWAYS do more. The photo is another taken during Homecoming 1999, and another we'd never seen until June, 2002 at Becky's graduation party...I hope she knows how happy we are to have these photos! I had another funny Chris memory recently. From the moment Charlie became a part of our family,....almost 13 years ago now, I spoke for him..not since Chris was killed...Charlie's voice died with Chris...I would talk to the boys as Charlie. I had this voice I used, they called it "your Charlie voice"..When ever they'd come home and say,"Hi Charlie"...if I was around, I answered in my Charlie voice, "Hi Adam ,or Hi Chris"..and then I would go on to tell them about my dog day at home while they were in school...things like that. I would always look at Charlie..try to get a sense of what he was feeling, then tell them..in "Charlie voice!"...The boys LOVED it! I remember one day when Adam came home from school and brought Rich Green with him. He TRIED to get me to "talk in Charlie voice!"...I recall, after much proddding, I did...And they loved it! Fran Kempa - Friday, September 06, 2002 at 22:57:20 (MDT) I just wanted Chris and his family to know I think and pray for them everyday.And I miss them,and hope to see them soon. Kurt Kurt Wilson <nsealt9@yahoo.com> - Friday, September 06, 2002 at 11:08:40 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, September 06, 2002 at 10:51:18 (MDT) 9/6/02...Same APPLE 2, close up of APPLE 1 drawing from yesterday. The photo is another taken during Homecoming, 1999, Sophomore year...Another we had never seen and Becky Gates was kind enough to give us at the Barn. In the photo, Chris is holding two balloons. He brought those two balloons home and gave them to Charlie....Charlie LOVES balloons! We have a picture of Charlie holding the same two balloons! Thurs. was my day off. I woke up around 7:00. Just before I woke up, I was dreaming a VERY vivid dream about Adam and Chris...I dreamed they had had a water fight on the front lawn...not a fun water balloon type fight but a very serious fight with the hose, nasty words and actions. In my dream I hadn't witnessed the fight, I had only heard about it from neighbors. At the end of the dream, I was thinking..."I've GOT to talk to those boys...this type of thing shouldn't happen...." When I woke up...for a brief second, I was stretching and still thinking..."I've GOT to talk to those boys...." Then it hit me, as it always does...Chris is dead and Adam will NEVER be able to fight with him again....It's STILL shocking at times almost two years later! I saw Chris' friend and coworker at Larry's last night. We always make a point of talking to each other. She told me she knows how I feel about tattoos but said she REALLY wanted to get one in memory of Chris. I told her if that was something she always wamted to do, get a tattoo that's fine, I just didn't want her to feel the need to tattoo her body for Chris. She told me they are something she REALLY likes...she already has two..and proceeded to show me one! I told her in that case I thought it was a WONDERFUL idea and asked her to show it to me when she got it...she assured me she would!! Cori Im'd me tonight...Yearbooks are in! I can pick MINE up anytime. How I WISH once again this year, I was just picking it up because Chris was busy. In a way I'm anxious to see it,...the Memorial page, the Most Unforgetable Senior and Class Picasso pictures....but mostly, I'm dreading it...just like just about EVERYTHING in my life since Chris was killed. CONGRATULATIONS!! to Cori and Dana for their great roles in the Fall play...I wish them both much luck and success...Mrs. Allen and I WILL be there to see their performances in November!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 23:13:13 (MDT) chris i'm really in a bind right now and i need your guidance and help buddy love always, me chris you know who this is... - Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 20:11:30 (MDT) It was ten years ago on July 18,1992 that two police officers came to our door with the news that no parent expects or wants to hear. "We are sorry to inform you that your son was killed by a suspected drunk driver tonight." SHOCK...My first reaction was disbelief. How could Marc be dead? He had his whole life ahead of him. NO, this can't be! But it was the harsh reality that I could not fathom at that moment that caused me to slip into the nice protective overcoat named "SHOCK." Thank goodness for the shock factor because that is what allowed me to make the necessary arrangements for the days that were to follow. ANGER...From the minute I was told that Marc had died I was angry with God. I talked, screamed and wrote in my journal about being so mad that God did not protect us under His umbrella that I thought was in place for our family. No,I do not believe that God planned for Marc to die at age nineteen or even that it was God's will. It has taken me years to understand that we, all of us have "free will" and one 42 year old man used his free will to drink and drive that fateful night that killed our son within one mile of our home. BARGAINING...The funeral was held here and a week later we drove to Topeka, Kansas where we held a Memorial Service for friends and family. We drove back to Georgia arriving late one night after the 14 hour drive. I unpacked a few things in the kitchen while my husband was upstairs taking a shower. When I had finished, I tried to climb the stairs, but I froze and then fell, grasping at the carpet on the stairs, sobbing loudly in the entryway. I cried out to God asking, "why didn't He take me instead?" I told Him He could make the change right here, right now and no one would ever know the difference. PAIN...As shock began to wear off, I felt the intense, excruciating pain. It was SO deep and cut like a knife. I thought the pain was going to kill me it hurt so bad. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out. I felt gutted and empty inside. I was surprised to learn that grief is not just about feeling sad. When you experience grief, there is a real physical pain and mine was in my chest that hurt for many months every waking moment. I remember I wanted to die. More importantly, I wanted to be with Marc. TEARS...I did not know there were so many different ways to cry or different sounds one could make while crying. I would be sitting in my chair and begin to cry and invariably, I would end up on the floor, face down in the carpet, crying my eyes out. At other times, I rocked back and forth sobbing so hard and speaking gibberish that even I could not understand what I was saying. Our older son told me I even cried in my sleep because he had heard me one night. DEPRESSION...I kept the drapes drawn that first year and withdrew from the world. I was like a frightened animal, huddled in a corner. My first thought upon waking each morning was that Marc was dead. I would curl up in a fetal position and cry. I had trouble concentrating, remembering things and making decisions. My mind would wander constantly. I had no energy, NONE..ZIP! I remember being so proud of myself the time that I completed mopping my kitchen floor.. that had taken me THREE DAYS to do. RECONCILIATION...I am ten years into my grief journey. For me it has been about leaning into my pain and stumbling around in the dark, searching and trying other ways to cope since the death of our son Marc. I read grief books, I journal, I attend bereavement seminars, I visit the cemetary, and most importantly, I cry. "DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT"...but stand toe to toe with the beast called grief! Do not be afraid of your thoughts, feelings and pain. They are ALL normal reactions to the death of your dear child. Instead, I ask you to wrestle grief down to the ground, screaming, kicking and crying until you have made grief your equal and more manageable. Susan Van Vleck <TCF Marietta, Ga.> - Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 11:21:24 (MDT) 9/5/02...The art Adam W. calls, APPLE 2...a close up of the face of the character in the salvaged art from 11/19/00...Most UNFORTUNATLY..like many of his works, we'll NEVER know the story behind the art...Was it a school project, was it a Career Center project...or was it just a Chris ism?..We'll never know. The photo was taken in October 1999. That's Chris and Becky Gates. She and Chris and Caleb and Katie doubled for Sophomore Homecoming. They went to Olive Garden before the dance, that's Chris clowning for the camera as usual..and Becky enjoying it! Becky was kind enough to share her extra photos of that night with us. She first told us about them at her Graduation party in June...then gave me the photos at the Barn show in early July...THANK YOU Becky! I hope College has been a wonderful experience for you so far!! Wed. night was our Compassionate Friends meeting...with the holiday happening this week, I'm all screwed up and almost forgot about it....luckily, Adam remembered. Last night, I walked away with two things that REALLY touched me, and many more things that just touched me. One woman who lost her son to pancreatic cancer at I believe, 27, four years ago, was talking about Compassionate Friends and said, "We need to talk about our kids long after the world wants to hear!"...All I could think was, "You are SO right Virginia, I will NEVER stop talking about Chris."...People will continue to hear about him for MANY years to come. Another mother was talking about one of the statements her daughter made after the death of her brother..."It makes you grow up too fast, it makes you think of everything differently." When she said that, I not only thought about Adam William and the impact of Chris' death upon his life...but all of their friends..both Adam and Chris'..and myself....All the kids were too young at the time to experience a loss that is way too difficult for adults to deal with...I was 46 years old when Chris was killed. In a way, I'm sorry to say, his death made me grow up too...I have DEFINATLY revised the way I think about EVERYTHING!...And MOST unfortunatly, at my age, I'm sorry to say, my new way of thinking on many issues is NOT positive as it was before. We also talked about how one death impacts SO MANY lives...not just the dead child or his family...do these people have ANY idea what has happened!?...We all agreed, they do not... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 23:33:03 (MDT) 9/4/02....Same salvaged APPLE 1 drawing as yesterday. The photo is yet another taken on August 3, 02 at Rob and Jamie's wedding. It's the picture Claudia took of our new fangled family. If you look closely, you can see an orange streak of light in the lower right area. It starts near Brad's shoulder, goes across my hand and over Adam's face. It shows up VERY vividly in the actual photo, it looses a little on the computer...as I said before, of all 39 photos, this is the ONLY one with such a streak of light through it...call me crazy, that's OK, I call it a sign!...Chris wanted in our family picture!...and he got in. It's funny to me that Brad is included in this picture too. Just like Ryan Brescoe, Brad for the most part, lived at our house for years. I NEVER minded, I always made the kids feel welcome. I used to tease Brad. I would often say, "You're my surrogate son"...He called me his surrogate Mom. One of the first things I said to Brad at the funeral home as he hugged me was, "Now I REALLY NEED to think of you as my son."...That was fine with him. I know people who didn't know us at the wedding and didn't know the story, even people who do know us looking at these pictures...see the smiles and think all is well. It's a good thing they can only see our faces....They can't see our HEARTS! What everyone would see would be three permanently BROKEN hearts....Maybe not as shattered completly as before..you have no choice but to pick up some pieces just to function....but DEFINATLY three hearts that have been completly affected and left with huge voids that can NEVER be filled. I imagine in my mind, Chris' first day of college ever would have run much more smoothly than Adam's first day back. Being a smaller College, I imagine they'd be more organized...but who knows. I had a funny Chris memory yesterday...Being the day he should have started college got me thinking about a lot of Chris things....Before Cori, Chris at times would voice some concern about not having a girlfriend. I ALWAYS told him not to be in such a hurry..."WAIT until you're 18", I told him, "The girls will swoon!"....I can't tell you how many times over the years I told him,"The girls will swoon!"....How I WISH I could witness the swooning now that he should be 18.....And I KNOW they would be! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 23:17:28 (MDT) 9/3/02...The art Adam calls, APPLE 1. It's one of a few drawings we found a few months after Chris was killed in a large green garbage bag he had collected from his bedroom Sun. Nov. 19th 2000. I had asked him to start to make a dent in his room in preparation for our Thanksgiving company. He was throwing this and other drawings out that night. Shortly after he was killed, we took the bag to the garage but didn't dare put it out with the trash...when we were stronger we planned to go through it. KNOWING Chris, we had a feeling there were works he wasn't satisfieed with in that bag...Four months later, we discovered we were right! Not only drawings, but poems were salvaged. The photo is another taken Aug. 3rd at the wedding. From the left, that's Brad Sandulovich, my friend Nancy's son, Adam, half out of his tux, his lovely girlfriend Sarah Fabian, and Chris ostafiniski. The tree the neighborhood Association planted in memory of Chris in Mies Park is ALREADY beginning to change! What I was told is true....the leaves are a VIBRANT red! When it's a mature tree, it will be absolutly beautiful!..Fall is just around the corner again...and I'm DREADING it like NEVER before! Fran Kempa - Monday, September 02, 2002 at 22:50:29 (MDT) 9/3/02...The art Adam calls, APPLE 1. It's one of a few drawings we found a few months after Chris was killed in a large green garbage bag he had collected from his bedroom Sun. Nov. 19th 2000. I had asked him to start to make a dent in his room in preparation for our Thanksgiving company. He was throwing this and other drawings out that night. Shortly after he was killed, we took the bag to the garage but didn't dare put it out with the trash...when we were stronger we planned to go through it. KNOWING Chris, we had a feeling there were works he wasn't satisfieed with in that bag...Four months later, we discovered we were right! Not only drawings, but poems were salvaged. The photo is another taken Aug. 3rd at the wedding. From the left, that's Brad Sandulovich, my friend Nancy's son, Adam, half out of his tux, his lovely girlfriend Sarah Fabian, and Chris ostafiniski. The tree the neighborhood Association planted in memory of Chris in Mies Park is ALREADY beginning to change! What I was told is true....the leaves are a VIBRANT red! When it's a mature tree, it will be absolutly beautiful!..Fall is just around the corner again...and I'm DREADING it like NEVER before! Fran Kempa - Monday, September 02, 2002 at 22:50:21 (MDT) This is the saddest/happiest website I ever visit. I always end up crying but it's not always completely sad crying because I remember strange random things about Chris and that makes me happy. It's weird to think how things might be if things were different. If Chris and I would still talk now.. I like to think that we would. And how he would reacte to some things. I can think of a few things that probably would have gotten a good reaction out of him. But he's missed....and this is really a good website to express that. Sarah <Megabich9@yahoo.com> - Monday, September 02, 2002 at 22:48:49 (MDT) when?? anonymous - Monday, September 02, 2002 at 10:29:44 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, September 02, 2002 at 08:54:34 (MDT) 9/2/02...Same ABE art as yesterday. The photo is another taken August 3, 02 at Rob and Jamie's wedding. That's my dear friend Claudia Allen to the left, Rob and myself. Claudia amd I grabbed Rob in the hallway and made him pose with us. Both of our families have known Rob for at least eight years. We have seen him grow from a teenager into a fine young...MARRIED man! It's so interesting to hear one of our sons friends talk about the problems of home ownership, his garage and his LAWNMOWER!! These are things we hope to hear our boys talk about in a few years...when I say our boys, I mean Adam and Ryan...Scott's a little young still...and Chris NEVER will. Friday evening, I decided to go through all of our family photos again...preparing for the Sept. web page....I found 110!! photos of Chris that I had never had Adam put here before! Adam asked me why I hadn't used them before. I said I thought at first, they weren't good enough....they're of Chris from the back or a profile etc....That's how I felt 22 months ago....Today, if I find a picture that contains even one of his fingers, I consider that a GOOD picture! Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 23:12:02 (MDT) even as one light fades, may our lights burn that much brighter to compensate the loss of a loved one. I didn't know you Chris but I'm sorry to see a beautiful life lost. jason lockerbie <jasonlockerbie@hotmail.com> - Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 09:18:36 (MDT) Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 08:48:07 (MDT) 9/1/02...The art is the drawing Adam calls ABE. Chris drew it for President's Day in Kindergarten, so that would be Feb. 1990. I remember the story behind this drawing SO WELL!...I remember Chris' Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Stromberg, calling us in to RAVE about this drawing...she was SO impressed, she made a copy for herself! She talked about the detail and how advanced it was for his age...telling us he had a "gift." What she didn't realize was, not only had we recognized this ourselves, but were told the exact same thing when he was in preschool...."The DETAIL in his drawings is AMAZING!" Mrs. Stromberg came to Chris' wake as did most of his former teachers. The FIRST thing she said to me was, "I STILL have that Abe Lincoln drawing!" And I said, "So do I!".....The photo was taken 8/3/02 at the wedding we attended recently...That's Mr. and Mrs. Rob Byrd. A wonderful couple to whom we wish much happiness! Chris liked Rob a lot and very much respected his drumming ability! He told me more than once over the years, "Mom, Rob is the BEST drummer!"...I know Chris is very happy to know, Rob is now also a Math teacher for Rotchester Hills Public Schools. Chris dabbled in many insturments...drums among them....I can't say he was accomplished in any of them...but he was working on them when he was killed, guitar, keyboard and drums....He would be SO thrilled with the transformation of what we call, "The music room"....a large space in the basement strictly for music. Since Chris was killed, Adam has added much foam stuff for "acoustics"...he's also somehow acquired a Fender Rhodes electric piano....Chris would have LOVED that!! Friday night Sarah was over. As I walked from the kitchen into the living room, I saw her sitting on the ottoman, holding and petting Felix the cat. I said, "God Sarah, you're brave!" She reacted rather surprised and I said, "Oh no, he won't hurt you, he's a sweetheart, I only said that because he sheds so much!" She said that didn't bother her. She said she had always wanted animals as a child but wasn't able to have any because a family member had asthma....that made me think back to both boys childhood and animals. BOTH boys had pets from the moment they entered our home as infants...The animals were there first! I can't imagine a home with out animals...and as a result, neither can / could my son / sons. I don't trust people who don't like animals.....to me, there's something wrong somewhere. And I've ALWAYS felt, animals help teach your kids how to love....I believe that! Fran Kempa - Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 01:00:54 (MDT) I'm sorry I heard about the bad news today A crowd of people around you Telling you it's okay And everything happens for a reason When you lose a part of your self To somebody you know It takes a lot to let go Every breath that you remember Pictures fade away but memory is forever An empty chair at all the tables And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down But it's better where you're going anyway I'm sorry I heard about the bad news today It's really hard to get through Tough times and long days But it really just depends on the season For now we'll say goodbye We know it's not the last time I've lost the best part of my day But it's better where you're going anyway This is the last thing I will remember It's better where you're going anyway Sonny from NewFoundGlory - Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 18:37:03 (MDT) 8/31/02..Last day of August,...... College classes are a moment awawy for Adam....SHOULD have been for Chris too...I can't begin to explain how EXCITED we ALL would have been....the first day of school was ALWAYS landmark....ALWAYS a picture....and I always made a GOOD breakfast for the first day...it was a BIG thing!!...Sept 3rd 2002 would have been mind blowing... yet, a dream realized....for ALL of us!!...In my mind, Chris would have started CCS with a FULL scholarship....I know that is one of many goals he worked for...and I believe he would have realized!! Once again, the art is an unbelieveable work that was done in memory of Chris..not by him. It was done by one of Cyndi Lareau's art teachers at Kendall College. Cyndi had done a presentation about Chris shortly after his death in this man's class....seems he was so moved, he asked for photos....which we supplied, and created this AWESOME likeness of Chris!!...One of the MANY KIND acts from strangers we have encountered since Chris was killed. The photo was taken in Oct., 1999....just before Homecoming, Sophomore year....Shortly after this picture was takn at our house....MANY more photos were taken at Caleb's house....They double dated...Chris and Rebecca and Caleb and Katie...what a GOOD time they had!!! Fran Kempa - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 23:16:27 (MDT) Been thinking a lot about Chris lately, so i figured I would write to everyone and let mrs and mr kempa know how much we are all still thinking of their son. He was a great person, and we will never forget him, he will always live on in our hearts. Whitney USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:52:36 (MDT) 8/30/02....Same Hmmmm comic page as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas time, 1997. That's Chris, fishing for Felix while Charlie stood watch near by...Chris LOVED our animals! I have NO doubt, given Speck's personality, he would have loved him too...maybe the most! Adam and I went shopping Thurs. as planned. We went to Kohl's, GAP and Old Navy. Adam is a lot like me when it comes to clothes...just as Chris was. Just because that's what they're showing....that's all there is to offer, you don't have to buy it if you don't like it.....You don't HAVE to be trendy. He kept walking around, looking...not finding anything, saying, "I know what I want, they just don't make it." I could relate...especially when it comes to women's shoes...YUK..but anyway, he did find a few things to expand his wardrobe at Kohl's...NOTHING at GAP or Old Navy. I experienced many Chris isms as we shopped. Chris LOVED....LIVED, in hooded sweatshirts. When he first discovered them, he didn't care if they zipped up the front, or pulled over the head. Over about a two year period, as he grew to know and love them more, he found over the head was the ONLY way to go! Sadly, as he and I shopped for the last time for back to school in 2000, most of the hooded sweatshirts ziped up the front...we didn't buy any...Even more sadly, as I shopped with Adam Thurs., I couldn't help but notice, most of the hooded sweatshirts available pulled over the head....There was one at GAP, in an array of colors, I KNOW he would have LOVED! It was made of a very soft material and I found myself rubbing it as I said to Adam, "Chris would have LOVED this! Old Navy was hard because that's where Chris and I went back to school shopping for the last time in 2000. Due to work and school conflicts for all of us that year, I was unable to take the boys together....Old Navy was where we purchased the black ribbed turtle neck I often wear now, and the jeans he was killed in.... I found the OPINION page of yesterday's Observer, VERY interesting. (8/29/02 page A8) It was headed by a picture showing school kids crossing the street. It was captioned with, "Back to school time means drivers need to be a bit more careful around schools and neighborhoods"...I find it interesting that Chris was killed feet away from a school, and in a residential neighborhood. The second letter to the Editor, on the same page, was titled, DRIVERS, TAKE TIME FOR SAFETY....Some excerpts that hit home..."Two legged creatures have invaded Livonia. Actually, it's not a NEW invasion, they've ALWAYS been there. Their numbers tend to increase the same time the yellow busses do....kids walking to school. I've even seen those same kids riding bikes. Drivers need to be more conscientious, courteous and concerned about our future, all kids, better yet, all pedestrians. The pedestrians are out there seven days a week, year round.....The crosswalk should be a safe haven for pedestrians and bicyclists.......Bicyclists and pedestrians are NO match for a moving vehicle in excess of 1,000 pounds. I remember years ago the saying, "Pedestrians have the right of way." I wonder how many drivers know and believe that?.....Who knows, you may even save a life by being patient and courteous, all it takes is 5 to 10 seconds of your time. Thank you Diane Marietti of Livonia. You don't know me, and you may not know my story, but you certainly got MY attention!...I just pray you got the attention of MANY others! Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 23:10:48 (MDT) 8/29/02...The art is a page from a very long, detailed comic book Chris wrote and illustrated about a year before he was killed. The story line was very interesting...it explored the possibility of life on the one dollar bill... Makes you go "Hmmmm"...as Arsenio used to say...thus the name of the comic...Hmmmm.....The photo is another I requested...taken in early August, 2000....just over three months to live...Chris was at Casey's cottage up north in Munising...the photo was developed AFTER Chris was killled...but once again...this is how he was when he was killed and as a result, this is how he will be for the rest of our lives..to us...but I think he is a totally different being now...maybe we wouldn't recognize him!? The media is gearing up for the 5th anniversary of Diana's death. I remember that night VIVIDLY....Claudia and I were on the phone when the news broke...first of the accident, then of the death. I remember thinking at the time, and then a few years later with the death of JFK Jr....."GOD, if she, he....THEY can die...ANYBODY can die. And even then, it NEVER dawned on me that ANYBODY could include one of MY kids! Adam and I are going back to school shopping tomorrow! In a way it's interesting as a College Senior I'm taking him shopping...but as long as he's in school and he's my kid, I will continue the tradition!...I don't care if he's 40!!...and I'm 75....The ONLY thing sadly and glaringly missing will be Chris....There will be no background banter, no teasing..with Chris being a college Freshman and Adam being a college senior.....but if Chris was still here, Adam would have been graduated by now...I get mixed up..maybe I'd be taking Adam, "your first adult job clothes shopping... WHO KNOWS!!? Last weekend, my co worker from India and I discussed our kids at length. Chris in the past tense of course, Adam in both the past and present, as well as her two girls. All this back to school stuff sparked the conversation. Her oldest daughter starts HIGH SCHOOL! this year. I tried very hard to alley her fears and I hope I was successful by telling her of the VERY positive experience both my boys had in High School.....Somewhere along the conversation, we both determined our kids were spoiled!...I am VERY happy to admit, I spoiled my kids! I did a lot for my kids over the years, and made few demands on their time...and I LOVED EVERY minute of it! In my mind, they were spoiled in a good way...they weren't stuck up spoiled brats, they were kind, loving, caring , contributing, productive human beings, from a very early age. I always felt their purpose on this earth was to explore and discover their own lives...not assist me with mine....and that's EXACTLY what they did...ANYTHING they expressed an interest in...they were induldged in...with in reason...I was HAPPY to be taken along for the ride!....And what a WONDERFUL ride it was! To some people it may be backward , but I experienced much more in my life through my kids, than they did through me.....They discovered, I ENCOURAGED, and they BLOSSOMED! Most unfortunatly, Chris isn't blossoming before my eyes anymore....But I have NO DOUBT, he is in Heaven.....Adam CONTINUES to do so here on earth!! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 23:45:25 (MDT) 8/28/02...Same Robot 2 drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken two years and two days ago...another from the anniversary party. I asked Adam to put these pictures up....this is how he was when he was killed, and as a result, this is how he will always be, this is how we will forever think of Chris when we think of him for the rest of our lives. I will ALWAYS wonder and try to imagine what he'd look like and what he would become....Unfortunatly, those little sayings, "forever young" and "forever 16" apply to Chris for real. This picture was taken of all the boy cousins...how I wish now we had taken one with kelly and Joan....the whole extended family, but we had NO CLUE we had the need to do so, we had NO CLUE, in less than three months, Chris would not be a tangible part of our family again...so we didn't. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:40:33 (MDT) 8/27/02...Adam W. calls this drawing, Robot 2. Once again, to me in some ways, it's very soft...Then you look at the back of the head and it's a mangled mess.....The photo is one I specifically asked Adam to post. It was taken two years and one day ago, at my parent's 50th wedding anniversary.....look at those boys...tell me they don't look like twins!.... And you can see from the body language exhibited in the picture, they're both saying, "I really don't want to be here, and I REALLY don't want to pose for this picture, but I'm doing this for you Mom.....because I love you!"... Sun. evening and Monday proved to be PLENTIFUL Chris days..........Sun. evening we had dinner at and with the Allen's....how do you do a gourmet saussage?...but they did!...Anyway, Brad, Claudia and I had some very intense discussions. We talked about life and death...and everything in between. Adam just kind of sat there and listened. As a result of these discussions, over an almost TWO YEAR period, I believe they realized Sun. night, more than ever, how EVERYTHING is JUST below the surface...it doesn't take much to get me going... School is in session folks, PLEASE!, take it from Chris, KEEP YOUR EYE(S) ON THE ROAD! I was SO aware as I drove to work Monday morning at 6:10 AM, not only were Livonia Public Schools and Plymouth Canton Schools busses ALL over the roads....so were the students! When I arrived at work at 6:25, the unit secretary....who has worked there longer than the 10 years I have and knows my schedule well, questioned why I was there following a weekend of work. I told her that Jasz needed Monday off because her kids were going back to school...and asked me if I would switch a day with her, and I absolutly did...she then replied, "AH! EVERYBODY is going back to school today!" I didn't say anything, but ALL I could think was, "NO Karen, NOT EVERYBODY!" ... We received two upsetting pieces of Chris mail Monday. Both were addressed to "Christopher Deceased Kempa" One was a letter from the IRS informing us, Chris' 2000 Federal refund check was never cashed....the other was another check for his refund amount...as I said to Adam when he came home, "Like we can remember back a year ago....we were still SO much in a fog..."...and as I recall, devastated by the way the check was addressed! One of the things I told Brad and Claudia about Sun. night was how I now pretend and imagine the rest of Chris' life.....Since he is gone, and NO ONE will EVER know, I pretend certain things in my mind....call me crazy,.... I call me a grieving Mom.....anyway, in my mind Chris would be starting CCS...."The only college he ever talked about..." according to Cori. So Monday after work, I called CCS...I wanted to know when Chris would have been starting college. After I dialed the number and got the voice menu, I pressed 2 for admissions. After three rings, a very confident sounding young man answered the phone and said, "Hello, CCS admissions, this is CHRIS speaking, how may I help you?"...When I was able to speak, I simply asked when fall semester classes start and I was told Sept. 3rd... Thank God, at 80 and a half, My Mother came through surgery without a problem....but chris is still dead for almost two years... I had not been to the Memorial for two days...but when I don't physically go there, I make it a point to drive by...so I am either driving by or am actually there daily. As I drove by Sun. and Mon. mornings on my way to work, I noticed a tall candle burning continuously. I asked Adam if he had taken one of our tall candles from the Church supply store....Chris' eternal flames up there and he said, "no." When we arrived at the Memorial Monday night, the tall candle had gone out from the sprinkler system, but we could see it was not one we placed there. On the ground, contained in a zip lock bag, was a note that both broke, and touched my heart. It reads as follows: "As I step forward from this place where I've spent my childhood, I think back on both the good and bad. You have been there through both, first in body then in spirit, and I know that you will continue to be, as I step into adulthood. It's scary to think, that I am leaving this place. No longer will I know you're just a street corner awwy. You are with me here, where ever I go. I am clinging to this place , though I know I must step forward....So I take my first big leap, with coming here tonight , not to say good bye, but that it's time for me to fly. It saddens me so, as I turn to go, but as I dry my tears, a smile begins to appear....cause I remember your voice and the things that you have said. So this is not good bye, just merely for a time, and when I'm back to visit, I will come to visit you."...It was signed "Much Love," and initials only. Adam and I racked our brains trying to figure out who the loving author is...Adam, after many possibilities, came up with a very strong contender....and we THANK her!! And wish her the best away at college! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 00:50:41 (MDT) 8/26/02...Same TEDDY drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken June 13, 1984....two minutes after Chris came home for the first time. Adam W. had seen him in the hospital before this photo was taken, but it was behind glass. This was the first moment he was able to see him up close and TOUCH him! It's hard to see on the computer, but in person, you can see Adam's mouth is wide open with excitement and anticipation at the prospect of a sibling...a BROTHER! In the background to the right, you can see the cradle all set up and ready for him... and to the left, my Mother's foot...she had come to help us all adjust to the new addition in our lives...And then there's me...SMILING with pride at my BOYS,... getting ready to turn Chris over to Adam William...as soon as he was out of the car seat, he was in Adam's arms...the bond was sealed then and there! In my mind, I'm starting the count down again...the memories that are the most vivid,....the last things we did together! Two years ago we were in Buffalo to celebrate my parent's 50th wedding anniversary...for evey year as long as I live, I know this date will trigger a dual memory, my parent's anniversary, and one of my last Chris memories. Today, my parents celebrate 52 years of marriage and my mother will under go surgery....I know Chris will be with her! Fran Kempa - Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 23:16:15 (MDT) 8/25/02.....the art is the very fundamental sketch Adam calls TEDDY....I believe in his mind, Adam can picture his brother whipping out this sketch in a matter of sconds.....it's the sketch Adam and Chris' dear friend Lauren felt compeled to have tattooed on her leg...it's the sketch Cori has expressed interest in having tattooed somewhere on her body.....I will gladly GIVE any one interested a copy of this sketch.....frame it....don't tattoo it! The photo was taken on Jan. 5th 1996, Adam's 16th birthday. That's Chris to the left in his basketball uniform, tired after a game...then the Birthday boy Adam, and to the right, Ryan Brescoe. Ryan is an only child. For YEARS, and I know his parents will not dispute this, Ryan was a guest in our home EVERY night....and I loved it! He LOVED Chris, truly thought of him as his younger brother. One night when Ryan was over and Chris was being extremly FUNNY I said to Ryan, "How would you like it if Chris was your brother?" Ryan simply responded, "I'd LOVE it!" A woman I've known for almost 20 years told me a story yesterday that she has kept SECRET for 44 years!....She told no one but her sister in all this time....Seems she had a baby boy in 1958.....went out of state to have him and put him up for adoption. A few weeks ago, after four years of searching, he found her. After keeping such a secret for SO LONG, she's telling people.....including her husband of 41 years, her three grown children, and grandchildren old enough to understand. After she told me, all I could do was give her a BIG hug and tell her I thought it was "WONDERFUl, and she was very lucky." Later on during the day, I told a coworker as we discussed the news, "Take it from one who's lost a child, she is SO lucky to have FOUND a child....how I WISH there was another child lurking out there somewhere for me.....but there isn't... Fran Kempa - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 22:42:57 (MDT) 8/24/02...Same Ron drawing as yesterday. The photo is another pose in front of the fireplace taken in Dec. 1997, Adam, Chris and Charlie. Shortly after Rob and Jamie's wedding earlier this month, I was talking to Cori on line. I told her how I wondered, during the wedding and reception, if she would have been there too as Chris' date if he was still with us. I then Wrote, "Do you ever do that? Do you ever think in your mind where you are today and wonder where Chris might figure in your life if he was still here?" What she typed back broke my heart..."EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!" she wrote. I want to wish a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Sarah Fabian, Adam's girlfriend! She has been a wonderful addition to his life....Like most things, I tend to think Chris had a hand in this! Chris loved his brother so much. I know he wants nothing more than for him to be happy...despite his loss. Fran Kempa - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 22:42:11 (MDT) I really miss you right now. Scott Allen - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 15:49:52 (MDT) 8/23/02....The art is the drawing Chris did of his friend Ron. Ron and Chris had been friends for about two years before he was killed even though they were neighbors for years....they discovered each other one night because of the game of Chess!...Ron was the friend Chris wanted to spend the night the Saturday....TWO DAYS before he was killed...and I said no. He could come over and watch TV or play video games, but Chris and I had to work Sunday and I wanted us to get some sleep, so he couldn't spend the night. Ron's father is the man who came up to me at the Funeral Home and told me he never worried about Ron when he was with Chris or at our house because he knew he had nothng to worry about. He said there were some kids Ron went with and he WORRIED but if he heard he was with Chris, he felt very comfortable. The photo was taken I believe in Dec. 1997...I'm going by memory right now, I don't have the photo in front of me. The tradition we started when Chris was a baby....taking the boy's picture in front of the fireplace at Christmas time continued until 1999...his last Christmas...Charlie was included along the way. Thank you Angie and Katie for your Chris memories! I remember hearing about this mural shortly brfore Chris was killed. I don't remember exactly who told me, maybe it was Scott...or it might have been Angie at parent teacher confrence in October....I just remember being told that "Even the jocks wanted him to draw them." And as he drew them, the next one would say, "Draw me next Chris, only make my muscles bigger!"....and he did. Chris' art ability captivated everyone he met. He had the talent and the personality to draw people in....and he was FUNNY! God, was he funny. He made me laugh several times a day, every day of his life!....Now, almost two years since he's been killed, I've cried every day....That mural was also mentioned in the Observer story about his death in the November 23,00 edition. Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 23:20:22 (MDT) Ms. Hillman, i remember that week as well. the first person he drew on the black board was Chris Masters, then himself, Lisa Gibson, Sarah Knopsinder, Craig ( i can't remember his last name). Chris said that he was going to end up puting everybody in the picture and have you on the top with your arms spread out smiling and looking down on us with it saying "5th hour Radio & TV". Everybody who's portrate was put on the board signed their name at the top of where Chris drew their picture. but sad enough it had to come down. But there were a lot of chris memories before he died. I still kept a lot of our assignments we did, even the TV comercial that Chris Masters had to fill in for Chris, cause me and Chris Kempa were schedual to perform our commercial the day he died. I still have it all. but it's a great way to remind me how great of a friend he was and how much he ment to everybody. but that's all i have left now, but at least it's something instead of nothing to remember him by. Katie B. - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 22:39:11 (MDT) Ms. Hillman, i remember that week as well. the first person he drew on the black board was Chris Masters, then himself, Lisa Gibson, Sarah Knopsinder, Craig ( i can't remember his last name). Chris said that he was going to end up puting everybody in the picture and have you on the top with your arms spread out smiling and looking down on us with it saying "5th hour Radio & TV". Everybody who's portrate was put on the board signed their name at the top of where Chris drew their picture. but said enough it had to come down. But there were a lot of chris memories before he died. I still kept a lot of our assignments we did, even the TV comercial that Chris Masters had to fill in for Chris, cause me and Chris were schedual to perform out commercial the day he did. I still have it all. but it's a great way to remind me how great of a friend he was and how much he ment to everybody. but that's all i have left now, but at least it's something instead of nothing to remember him by. Katie B. - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 22:37:26 (MDT) Ms. Hillman, i remember that week as well. the first person he drew on the black board was Chris Masters, then himself, Lisa Gibson, Sarah Knopsinder, Craig ( i can't remember his last name). Chris said that he was going to end up puting everybody in the picture and have you on the top with your arms spread out smiling and looking down on us with it saying "5th hour Radio & TV". Everybody who's portrate was put on the board signed their name at the top of where Chris drew their picture. but said enough it had to come down. But there were a lot of chris memories before he died. I still kept a lot of our assignments we did, even the TV comercial that Chris Masters had to fill in for Chris, cause me and Chris were schedual to perform out commercial the day he did. I still have it all. but it's a great way to remind me how great of a friend he was and how much he ment to everybody. but that's all i have left now, but at least it's something instead of nothing to remember him by. Katie B. - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 22:35:55 (MDT) Today, Sara Knopsnider was helping me set up my classroom and we had a Chris memory. During Radio and TV class, just a month or so before his passing, Chris drew an entire mural on our chalkboard of everybody in our class..the mural kept getting bigger and more detailed by the day. We were going to take a picture and everyone kept forgetting their cameras. Sara remembered that Chris kept changing her shirt in the drawing. We loved seeing what he would do day by day to alter his creation. Unfortunately, I had to do a lecture and erase it...we took one last look and I told Chris I felt terrible to let it go, it was so amazing! He said, "Don't worry, I'll do a better one on paper or something, that way you can keep it forever if you want to." That day never did come...but our memories of that incredible mural remain without having it right in front of us! We loved our "Chris moment" today, so I thought I would write and share it with you! Ms. Hillman - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 18:42:09 (MDT) I hope everything went well at the show in the summer I wish could've went but I had some family issues to take care of. I hope you ever able to use the photo I gave to on the web page. Email me and let me know whats up. I won't be able to check it untill monday. I hope your summer went well. keep in touch Cindy Swarthout <littlesiscid@yahoo.com> - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:56:56 (MDT) 8/22/02...Same BLUEFACE art as yesterday. The photo was taken in spring, 1996, Sixth Grade, Chris' D.A.R.E. graduation. That's Chris, third from the left in the middle row...we were both SO PROUD!! Adam had completed the DARE program a few years before Chris.......That was one thing I NEVER worried about...... my kids and drugs. They were both very smart and knew better...and both of them had WAY TOO MUCH GOING for them ,in every aspect of their lives, to needlessly mess it up with such a waste of time! We have just experienced a few interesing, almost comical Chris days....I know he's belly laughing up in Heaven!! ....It had been a combination of things, his injury not the least among them, that had made him stay inside the house on an extended sick leave from his firm. His boss acted differently around him now, and so did his coworkers. They trod gently outside his office and would stop a few feet from his desk as if, should they be too relaxed in his presence, what happened to him, would happen to them.........as if losing a child were contagious. No one knew how he continued to do what he did, while simultaneously they wanted him to shut all signs of his grief away, place it in a file somewhere and tuck it in a drawer that no one would be asked to open again.........Page 159 THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 00:55:09 (MDT) 8/21/02....The art is the one Adam W. calls BLUEFACE. The one cousin Joan loved and now has framed on her dorm room wall. The photo was taken in winter 1993 while visiting in Buffalo, Chris' first BIG snow...and he LOVED it! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 09:29:26 (MDT) 8/20/02....Same beautiful BLACK drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1995. To the left is Chris' beloved cat Felix and to the right, his beloved Spaniel, Charlie. Both are wearing matching Christmas kerchiefs! They were sitting at the foot of the stairs, waiting for the boys to come down to open presents...To this day, Charlie gets more excited about Christmas than any of us....and for the past two, that has held more than true. I had a funny Chris memory tonight. I was making Adam nuggets and fries for dinner since he didn't like what we were having. As I poured out the fries, I couldn't help noticing there were some extra long ones....From the time Chris was old enough to eat real food...say two, any time, any where we went and got fries, he ALWAYS got the longest fry. It became half joke, half reality, and I would always say, "Chris always gets the longest fry!" and make a fuss....it sounds stupid, but it was something we ALWAYS did. When he got old enough to delve through the fry box himself, he'd search it out, then hold up the LONGEST FRY! This continued until the day he was killed....maybe we didn't make such a BIG fuss, but he would hold it up so I could see it and not say anything. Then I would say, "Well, I've ALWAYS said, Chris always gets the longest fry!"...and he did. As Adam ate his dinner and I cooked ours, the TV was on in the kitchen...World News tonight. They spoke of retired and newly deceased UAW President Steve Yokich...said he'd only been retired for two months then died. I said to Adam, "God, that really sucks doesn't it....you work all those years, look forward to retirement, then die." I then told him I've come to the conclusion, the only decent death is that from old age...everything else seems so unfair. That may be a no brainer, but I never REALLY thought about it before Chris was killed. Fran Kempa - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 23:16:23 (MDT) Hello chris this is chrissy you talked me a couple times in the hallways at franklin but you knew my sister pretty well because she is friends with scott. Well anyways I just wanted to let you know that i miss you and i have been tending to think about you more latley and whenever i pass the intersection of West Chicago and Merriman I say a little pray for you and hopefully you hear my thoughts! You have probably been pretty busy there in heaven i am sure everyone likes talking to you, your a great guy.Dont forget your in my thoughts! chrissy - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 21:47:27 (MDT) no offense is meant here, but when will the truth come out? anonymous - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 19:26:57 (MDT) The truth will come out. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 12:36:29 (MDT) 8/19/02....The art is the drawing Adam calls BLACK. It was found in the art room by Mr. Rheault months after Chris was killed....another one we knew nothing about when he was alive...it makes me wonder how many are still out there. The photo is another taken Christmas morning 1994....getting closer to the big gift. Since this was a BIG gift, we were really shooting off the pictures. As you can see in this one, Adam has already figured out what it is....Chris isn't so sure yet! Yesterday afternoon I saw a commercial for a frozen pizza that I found very distasteful. It showed a mother yelling to her child, "What do you want on your tombstone?" If Chris hadn't been killed and was still here with us, I'm sure I wouldn't have given it a second thought...but under the circumstances.. Oddly enough, tombstone was his favorite frozen pizza. Fran Kempa - Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 22:41:39 (MDT) With each and every "new event" we miss him even more. Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 11:55:52 (MDT) 8/18/02...The art is the same bicycle still life from yesterday. The photo was taken on Christmas morning 1994. Adam and Chris are about to open their joint big gift that year, with Charlie standing close by. They had no idea we had gotten them their first "real" computer, an Acer. When Adam was in first or second grade, his big gift that Christmas was a Commodore 64....but this was a REAL computer!...long since retired and obsolete. Adam and Adam continue to bring all kinds of hi tech computer and video equipment into this house....stuff that boggles my mind. Adam brought something home for the computer Fri. night that I swear is voodo!....it's truly amazing the things he can do and learn on a computer!...but then I guess that's why his major is Computer Engeneering! I know I will NEVER learn ANY of these things, nor do I have any great desire to do so.....but I KNOW Chris would! He would have been right there in the thick of it Friday night as Adam figured out his latest computer gadget...learning too, as he went along! ....I wish a smile had come curling up onto my father's face, but he was deep under, swimming against drug and nightmare and waking dream. For a time leaden weights had been tied by anesthesia to the four corners of his consciousness. Like a firm waxen cover it had locked him away tight into the hard blessed hours where there was no dead daughter and no gone knee, and where there was no sweet daughter whispering rhymes. "When the dead are done with the living," Franny said to me, "the living can go on to other things." "What about the dead?", I asked. "Where do we go?" She wouldn't answer me....page 145 THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. This passage among others stood out to me because that's how I've felt for a long time since Chris was killed....he's not done with us or his story yet, there's still a lot more he wants us to do before he, and we can rest.... Fran Kempa - Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 11:19:25 (MDT) 8/17/02....The art is the pencil on paper bicycle still life from Sophomore year. The photo was taken in August 1993 in a very choppy Lake Huron. In all the years we went there, I can only remember two visits when the water got like this. All the kids loved it! That's Adam and Chris playing in the waves together. Yesterday we received a very nice note from Stan Anderson and Friends of thr Barn. He said they are looking very forward to hosting Chris Fest again next year! He also enclosed a check for the amount of our deposit and Barn rental with the request it be donated to the scholarship fund! .....I thought if this was Heaven, truly Heaven, it would be where my grandparents lived. Where my father's father, my favorite of them all, would lift me up and dance with me. I would feel only joy and have no memory, no cornfirld, no grave. "You can have that," Franny said to me. "Plenty of people do." "How do you make the switch?" I asked. "It's not as easy as you think," she said. "You have to stop desiring certain answers." "I don't get it." "If you stop asking why you were killed instead of someone else, stop investigating the vacuum left by your loss, stop wondering what everyone left on Earth is feeling," she said, "you can be free. Simply put, you have to give up on Earth." This seemed IMPOSSIBLE to me..........From page 120 THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa - Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 10:31:59 (MDT) Dear Chris: I am sure you were busy welcoming another soul into Heaven yesterday. Carly Collard Cattone passed on to your new home after a courageous battle with cancer. She was 11 years old and I am sure she is with her Mother and Father also. Please watch over her Aunt and Uncle who adopted her. Thank you Chris. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 06:45:06 (MDT) Is that a hint of a rainbow over Chris and his grandfather?? WOMDERING? - Friday, August 16, 2002 at 15:14:23 (MDT) 8/16/02...Same comic character art as yesterday. The photo...did not show up well on the computer! That's Chris and (Grandpa) Bill on the grassy part of the beach at the cottage in August, 1992. Two years ago at this time, Chris was at his friend Casey Mack's cottage in Munising for ten days. He was horribly homesick and I was MISSING him SO MUCH...and regretting letting him go...but he insisted. I KNOW neither one of us had any clue that we'd be seperated on earth FOREVER in a little over three months.... That's how I felt when he was first killed....I was SO WORRIED about him. I thought back to August and remembered how homesick he was and wondered what he must be going through now...."He must be SO SCARED" I thought. I had no idea where he was and at that time I suspected neither did he at first....I hurt more for him at first than I did for myself...ALL I could think about was him being SCARED and trying to get back to us.....even though, deep down part of me knew he'd NEVER be back to us in the same way....I had NO control. ...I hadn't yet let myself miss my mother and father, my sister and brother. That way of missing would mean that I had accepted that I would NEVER be with them again....It might sound silly but I didn't believe it, would not believe it.... From page 27 of THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 22:22:54 (MDT) 8/15/02...The picture is the character Chris drew for Rich Greene's comic book I believe in summer of '99 or 'oo. I was very happy, before they moved, the Greene's had it proudly displayed on their kitchen wall. I hope it has a special spot in their new home in Ohio! The photo was taken in summer of '96. That's Caleb Deady biking and Chris with LONG hair, basketballing at St. Mikes. Those boys shared a lot! Yesterday afternoon I was talking to Cori on line. I asked her if Chris talked to her about College much. Cori said he talked about College A LOT! He couldn't wait to go to CCS...."That's the only College he ever talked about," she said. I told her I was very happy he was able to experience it ...in a limited way for a few summers before he was killed. I asked her if he ever told her what he wanted to specialize in, painting, drawing, animation etc. She said animation most definatly. That was his passion right when he was killed. He had dabbled in it and was getting very GOOD at it before but for some months before he was killed it was almost an obsession. She said he wanted to work for Disney or Pixar....that was his dream. I said he very possibly could have started his own company one day with Scott or Caleb...or both....but now it's just one of the ever growing things we'll NEVER know. Because someone stopped him in his tracks. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 22:28:02 (MDT) 8/14/02....Same Jones Soda drawing as yesterday....the photo is another taken in August 1992 at the cottage in Lexington near Port Huron. That's Chris and his Sunkist kayak. We got our pictures back from Rob and Jamie's wedding on Aug. 3rd the other day. Of all 39 pictures, there is one that stood out to me. Claudia took a picture at the reception of the remnent of our family. It was the first time we had a family picture taken since Chris was killed...just the three of us... very prominently across the picture....the ONLY one of all of them is a streak of orange light! I BELIEVE this is Chris' energy. We were having a family photo taken and he wanted in! He's STILL a part of our family and I BELIEVE he was showing us! ...."they had never understood, as they did now, what the word HORROR meant..." From page 21, THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 14:37:17 (MDT) 8/13/02...The drawing is from Sophomore year, '99 - '00....his facorite Jones soda. The photo was taken in August, 1992 at the cottage on Lake Huron. That's Adam in the Ivory Soap boat and Chris in the Sunkist kayak! The Ivory Soap boat was so big they could only use it at the beach...but the kayak was small enough that Chris could use it at home in the pool too...and he did! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 10:29:15 (MDT) 8/12/02....Same MARKER drawing as yesterday. The photo is another new Chris pic found and given to me recently by Angie Hillman. That's Chris, third from the right with his left hand up, wearing the powder blue tie. It was taken in November 1998, Freshman year. He was an extra in the fall play, LADY CRIES MURDER. I am very HAPPY to report another very GENEROUS contribution has been made to the scholarship fund. Seems some proceeds from this past weekend's Detroit Summer Smash were donated!..Many thanks are in order. Fran Kempa - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 09:27:13 (MDT) The truth will come out. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 23:35:49 (MDT) 8/11/02....This drawing Adam calls MARKER ...I guess because it's drawn with markers!...Chris dabbled in a little bit...or a lot of EVERY medium available! The photo is one Angie Hillman found recently...just before school ended and was kind enough to give me this one... and a few other "new" Chris pics! That's Chris, to the far right, interacting with a few fellow Players. Angie guessed perhaps he was making shadows on the theatre wall to entertain his audience....that would be SO Chris!...And Angie could ALWAYS read him right! Just as last year, yesterday at work...two weeks before school starts....the main topic of conversation among my co workers was "BACK TO SCHOOL"....AS it should have been....It hurt me SO much....I wanted SO BADLY to say, "Chris will be starting COLLEGE this year!!...do you believe it!!...And Adam will be starting his first Engeneering job!!...I am SO PROUD!.....I wanted desperatly to say that....but I couldn't...both would have been false statements. .........Franny, my intake counselor, became our guide. Franny was old enough to be our mother...mid forties...and it took Holly and me a while to figure out that this had been something we wanted.....our mothres.... From page 18 of THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa <Notfranny@aol.com> - Saturday, August 10, 2002 at 22:24:27 (MDT) 8/10/02....The art is the same Moriah Nixon portrait of Chris, done after he was killed. The photo is another taken July 6th at our house at the after Barn show party...Chris' pseudo Graduation party. That's Adam W. on the left and Ryan Allen on the right.....Adam and Ryan..friends for SO long, longer than Chris and Scott. Adam and Ryan, Chris and Scott, and Claudia and I , all met the same day...Adam and Ryan's first day of Kindergarten! Scott and Chris were still in strollers! As every Mother is on the first day of school...first ever for our kids, we were a little nervous and anxious for our boys. We both brought their brothers and cameras to see them off. We were standing next to each other, not talking at first. We were both taking their picture by the classroom door and Claudia's camera malfunctioned. Knowing how important these pictures were, I quickly offered her the use of my camera, telling her I was BAD about having film developed quickly, but as soon as it was developed, I'd send the pictures with Adam home through Ryan. As it turned out, each had a little hesitation about entering the classroom so we had them go in together...and we've all been friends ever since! We all had interests and values in common....and all the boys had talents in common...our families literally grew up together! Considering they are both about to finish College, I'd say Adam and Ryan's friendship is secure...as was Scott and Chris' until 11/20/00. ...."Susie," my mother said, bracing up under the weight of it, a weight she naively hoped might lighten someday, not knowing that it would only go on to hurt in new and varied ways for the rest of her life...PAGE 8 from the book THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 22:26:56 (MDT) 8/9/02....The art is the beautiful portrait done of Chris by his dear friend and fellow artist Moriah Nixon. She said one night after Chris was killed she couldn't sleep and just started painting. I was very happy she gave it to me. The photo is another taken at the Barn show on July 6th. That's our DEAR friend Brad Allen...father of Ryan and Scott, husband of Claudia, who ran the sound both this year and last year and did a WONDERFUL job! Special thanks to Guitar Center of Canton for donating the sound system. Wednesday night as I was leaving the Memorial, a car with a young man driving stopped in the Church parking lot and said, "I just wanted to meet the person who does such a beautiful job of maintaining that spot." I asked him if he knew Chris, he said he knew of him...he actually knew Adam better. Turns out it was Phil Hoelter of Franklin Theatre fame. He expressed more kind words and I thanked him VERY much. Thursday afternoon the Community Education booklet arrived in the mail. My mind went racing back to all the classes the boys took over the years....most consistantly, swimming lessons at Franklin High School. Adam started when Chris was still in the stroller. He went on to receive his Red Cross card. Chris never received his card, but he could SWIM! I never once thought while sitting there all those years watching them swim, "This is where my boys will go to High School." I guess in those days I didn't think ahead that far. ......"and she explores the place called Heaven. It looks a lot like her school playground, with the good kind of swing sets. There are counselors to help newcomers adjust and friends to room with. Everything she ever wanted appears as soon as she thinks of it.....EXCEPT the thing she wants most; to be back with the people she loved on earth."....From the flap of the book.....THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. Fran Kempa - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 09:35:17 (MDT) 8/8/02....Same ROBOT 1...with altered left eye art as yesterday. The photo is another taken July 6th at the Barn show. That's Scott Allen And The Breakdance. Scott Allen.....Chris' lifetime friend! That's Scott in front in the orange shirt, directly behind him on drums is his brother, Ryan Allen. To Scott's left is Cori Smith, Chris' first...and only love, singing back ups in her beautiful voice. To Cori's left is Chris and Cori's dear friend Dana Bossio also singing back ups in her beautiful voice. Behind Cori and Dana is Zach Curd of the Pop Project on keyboard....a MOST talented musician and vocalist! Yesterday, Wed., was an abundant Chris filled day. I didn't have to work yesterday....most days off I'm still asleep at 7:45....that would have been the case even if Chris was still here....I only get up at 5:30 because I HAVE to. But for some reason, I was up and turned on Good Morning America. I BELIEVE it was Chris guiding me. They apparently have some sort of book club like Oprah and Kellie. The featured book yesterday was , THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold. What I got from the short piece, coupled with fatigue, was the fact it was a fiction book written from the eyes of a fourteen year old girl describing HEAVEN from an insiders view!! I knew right away, I HAD to have that book! Adam happened to be working at BARNES and NOBLE yesterday so I asked him to bring home that book....and he did!!....can't wait to read it! I weeded through a basket in the bedroom last night, a basket I keep magazines and other related periodicles in. I have been through this basket several times since Chris was killed. Each time, I came upon a tablet of white lined paper, and just stuck it back in there. Yesterday, for some reason, I decided to turn the tablet over....something I had never done before....I was stopped in my tracks, momentarily to discover, two lines, IN CHRIS' PRINTING,!...."SET FOOT OUT THE DOOR, FELL TO THE FLOOR"......couldn't help but think of 11/20/00!!...That was it.....BELIEVE ME.....I SEARCHED that pad for more, but ther was nothing. Last night was our Compassionate Friends meeting. Adam wasn't able to attend so I did alone. It was very hard.... I always make him be the spokesman for both of us....he wasn't there so I HAD to be. I very quickly discovered, I STILL can not talk about him...and the story without crying. Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 00:06:00 (MDT) 8/7/02.....Adam W. calls this art, ROBOT 1. I really like this drawing....to me it's so soft. But then there is the running theme of that altered left eye.....and what lies behind it..a mangled mess. Who would have thought that would come to describe our lives! The photo is another taken on July 6th at the Barn show.....the Pop Project. Left to right, that's Dave Lawson, Ace Graves, Zach Curd...and in the very back, on drums, Adam Kempa. When he first became involved in two bands, I worried, but I soon discovered.....that was part of HIS therapy!.....We all work through it in our own way! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 23:08:15 (MDT) "You're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground.You're the breath that blows these cool winds round. You're trading places with an angel now." Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I'll always remember you, but I still struggle to hold on to the bits and pieces of you that I have left. Cori brought up one of your mannerisms, and it made me miss you all the more. Not just the idea of your presence, which is apt to happen sometimes, but YOU. The way I knew you and the way I'll always remember you. Thank you for being my friend, and all the things you gave me in your absence. I will miss you always. <3Dana Dana <justducky@ameritech.net> - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 22:42:44 (MDT) Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, August 06, 2002 at 15:55:59 (MDT) 8/6/02...The art is the same Romeo CRY as yesterday. The photo is another taken July 6th at the Barn benefit show. That's Thunderbirds Are Now! Unfortunatly, I only know who two of the members are, and Adam isn't around to ask about the others. In this photo, in the forefront, is the multi talented, Ryan Allen. The other member I know is Marty Smith, not pictured in this photo. SPECIAL thanks to Jessie for providing me with TWO photos of Chris I'd never seen before!.....So close to two years now and the Chris remnents CONTINUE to come my way!! Just more confirmation of how diverse his talents were!! Fran Kempa - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 23:42:44 (MDT) hey chris. its been a while since ive wrote in here but its one of those nights. i can not believe we actually graduated and college is about to start. its gone by so quickly. i just wanted to tell you taht we all miss you and you are always in our thoughts and prayers love woody jw livonia, mi USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 21:29:35 (MDT) The Visit A Mother kneels at a grave And with her head bowed, she cries, Every time she comes, Another piece of her heart dies. Week after week, day after day, nothing in the world will keep her away. For within the deep grave, her beloved son lies She will come here until the day she dies; when at last they'll be together, apart no more, and he'll open up the gates to greet her, at Heaven's door. Deborah Odome <Covington, Georgia> - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 17:17:57 (MDT) hello Mrs Kempa, I was going through my dads computer in arizona, where I spend my summers, and I came across a pictures of chris,if you would like I can email it to you..please email me and let me know Jessie <sicschick4ever@aol.com> - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 11:31:06 (MDT) 8/5/02...The pencil drawing is another Adam calls CRY. Chris drew it while his English class was studying Romeo and Juliet. I believe that was Sophomore year. The photo was taken on July 6th at the Barn show. These are The Gentlemen of The Recital. From left to right, Adam kempa, Chris Ostafinski, Rob Byrd and Ryan Brescoe. Adam W. asked me to go see a movie with him yesterday!...It was Austin Powers 3...on my dime..but I was thrilled! The movie was funny in parts but rather mindless. I enjoyed the company! Fran Kempa - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 09:58:37 (MDT) 8/4/02...Same TUBA art as yesterday. The photo was taken on July 6th at the Barn show. That's Chris' friend and fellow artist John Hicks. The one Chris admired so and hoped to attend College For Creative Studies with. The one who designed the chriskempa.com logo. As I've said before, I like to think Chris would have gone to CCS...but it would have taken a scholarship and we'll never know about that. Yesterday's Wedding was beautiful. There were only a few things that got me. For a day or so before, I had teased Adam off and on about being an usher and the fact that he'd have to walk me down the asile. When the moment came for him to do so I was forced to remember the last time I walked down a church asile on his arm was at Chris' funeral. With that thought most unwelcome in my mind, I looked around and thought how many of these same people had been at the funeral home and funeral. There were a few other times I missed him...especially when I had my picture taken with my son...not my sons. For the most part however, I had a very good time. Congratulations and Best Wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Rob Byrd!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 09:51:18 (MDT) 8/3/02...The art is the one Adam W. calls TUBA. One of the ones Mr. Rheault found in the art room after Chris was killed...the one that reminds me of New Orleans. It's one of very few that is signed...if you look closely in the lower right corner it says, Chris Kempa. The photo was taken on July 6th during the benefit show at Wilson Barn. If you look closely, you can see in the lower right corner Sara and Sara, running the door. This afternoon, we will be guests at the Wedding of Rob Byrd...the drummer gentleman of the Recital and his lovely bride and high school sweetheart Jamie Lee Curtis. As I tried to explain to Claudia tonight....just ANOTHER in a string of endless "Chris should be there!" moments for the rest of my life. Scott received his own invitation...SCOTT ALLEN and GUEST.....I know Chris would have received the same....Adam is an usher...Chris would have thought that was kind of weird..but kind of cool....The sixteen year old Chris...I have NO idea what the eighteen year old Chris would have thought. This is only the second Wedding Adam has ever gone to....Chris never went to ONE!.........just one of many things in an endless list of not only the "Chris Should haves"....but the "Chris NEVER DIDS!" Fran Kempa - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 23:48:37 (MDT) 8/2/02....Same art and photo as yesterday. I asked Adam to keep both up for two days. I am so proud of the painting....and so thankful Scott found the picture for us! Yesterday as I talked to my Physician Assistant friend, the conversation somehow found it's way to a long discussion about Chris. She asked about the situation, I filled her in as best as I could. I found myself telling her...as a defense mechanism, I try very hard every day to keep the magnitude of the loss at bay. But some times, as has been the case for several days now, you just can't get away from it....I don't know if it's the back to school stuff or the fact that it's been almost two years or what....but when I really stop and think about it...about him...I / we had this most wonderful ,TALENTED in so many ways boy here living with us, gracing us with his presence...and then he was gone...it makes me so sick..to this day. As my next door neighbor put it shortly after Chris was killed, "We had this jewel living right next door...and we never really knew it!"....But I did! Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 22:23:09 (MDT) WOW!!....What an eye he had. What a waste! A Viewer - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 20:30:15 (MDT) 8/1/02...The art is the last piece Chris ever worked on in November 2000, and as most people already know, never lived to finish. It's the water color he was working on at Career Center...the one we never knew existed until it arrived at the funeral home...the one that became our 2001 Christmas card...the one we loved so much and many believed was a self portrait. The one you can see, if you see it in person, the rest of the painting is lightly penciled, but never painted in. SPECIAL thanks to Scott Allen for providing the photo. Just a few weeks ago he gave us this picture, telling us it was the one Chris modeled this water color from. I am SO THANKFUL, almost two years later to know the story behind the painting. I had wondered since I saw it. Scott says it was a picture in the National Geographic Chris was taken with and was compelled to paint. I'm sure he had NO IDEA at the time, so many copies would be made for others and it would be made in to a Christmas card! I was SO sorry to learn today, one of the Physician's Assistants at work is leaving. She is a wonderful woman and I have developed a very close relationship with her over the last two years. Seems her husband wants to move to Florida....with her or without her! As sorry as I am to see her go, I encouraged her to do so.....I told her "life is short...just look at Chris...you never know.." She is very familiar with the story...and all the facts. I also told her, when I go back two years in my mind, and look at what I thought my life would be today...it doesn't even come close to resembling what I thought it would be...you really can't plan anything....you can plan, but there are NO guarentees. I never DREAMED two years ago, as the result of another person's problem, Chris would be gone and my life would be changed SO DRASTICLY! Seems our visitor from India was confused with the language or the content of the site...or both! Fran Kempa - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 15:31:34 (MDT) 1.what do u mean a good frienship(girl or boy) ? what are the advantages? 2.is ur friend (girl or boy) having beauty,worthy, high level.so....ur openion write. 3.give ur own concepts .. write answer to this questios? sujith <sujithsujith333@yahoo.co.in> cochin, kerala india - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 03:56:28 (MDT) 1.what do u mean a good frienship(girl or boy) ? what are the advantages? 2.is ur friend (girl or boy) having beauty,worthy, high level.so....ur openion write. 3.give ur own concepts .. write answer this questios? sujith <sujithsujith333@yahoo.co.in> - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 03:52:58 (MDT) 1.what do u mean a good frienship(girl or boy) ? what are the advantages? 2.is ur friend (girl or boy) having beauty,worthy, high level.so....ur openion write. 3.give ur own concepts .. write answer this questios? sujith <sujithsujith333@yahoo.co.in> - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 03:52:54 (MDT) 7/31/02....The photo was taken in July, 1993. That's Chris standing by one of his most favorite summer things..the pool....the pool we didn't even open this year. Barbara Eden was on Larry King Live last night. She lost her son and only child to a drug over dose one year ago. Larry asked her if she felt any guilt and she, like all of us who have lost children, no matter what the cause, stated she has tremendous guilt. I imagine it's something we carry forever. She also predicted she will hurt forever. She stated, "There's no pill you can take for this." That is SO true. I know why I feel the way I do....it's not some strange chemical imbalance...it's the fact that my son was needlessly killed....no one can ever invent a pill to take care of that. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, July 31, 2002 at 08:07:50 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 12:30:20 (MDT) 7/30/02...Same altered left eye art as yesterday. The photo was taken in October, 1993. That's Scott Allen as a mad scientist and Chris as Robin. The photo was takken during their 4th grade Halloween party. I was so happy to hear about the miners in Pennsylvania...truly a miracle. When I first heard it, I must admit, I very selfishly wondered why there were no miracles for Chris 11/20/00. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 08:30:10 (MDT) 7/29/02....The art was done some time in high school...note the altered left eye! The photo is one of MANY Chris took of hinself shortly before he was killed. It was taken in October, 2000, the night of Homecoming. He's wearing the black Old Navy turtle neck I bought him for back to school that awful year. It's the one I often wear now. The original photo is now framed and sits on the book shelf in Adam W.'s bedroom. The recent rain has really greened up the cemetary. It sounds stupid but that in some weird way helps. It's depressing enough to drive through those gates but to drive through and see brown, dead grass just adds to it. The green grass helps promote the park like atmosphere this cemetary has. Unfortunatly, the recent storms have taken quite a toll on the willows. A few weeks ago, one was cut in half by wind or lightening. Last week one was struck down all together and removed. Today as I drove near Chris' grave, I could see a large limb had fallen. Luckily, the man whose mother is buried right in front of Chris was there visiting her and he moved the limb to the curb. Fran Kempa - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 22:37:33 (MDT) Chris did LOVE fireflys.. As he got a little older he still would catch them in jars, to watch them light up...but he learned to let them go after so he would not hurt them. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 20:33:28 (MDT) 7/28/02....Same Indian art as yesterday. The photo is ANOTHER one I LOVE!....Now days, any photo of Chris is one I love. ...This one was taken in 1987 in the family room on Auburndale. I took several pictures of him that day. For this one, I remember saying, " Chris, SMILE!'...and this was the result! We sat out on the front porch tonight. It's something we've done more times this year than we had in the last ten years. Tonight, as in recent nights past, we commented on the absence of mosquitos and the abundance of fire flies. Chris LOVED fire flies!. He was intrigued by them. When he was younger he would often catch them in jars and watch them light up....unfortunatly, they never lasted long in captivity and he always felt very bad about that. Fran Kempa - Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 22:52:23 (MDT) 7/27/02....The drawing was done in 1995 as the cover for a fifth grade Indian project. The photo was taken in the summer of 1986. That's Colin Garland to the left, Chris' next door neighbor and first friend other than his brother. Friday afternoon I was in the right turn lane turning south onto Merriman from Plymouth. Directly in front of me was a green Ford Ranger. In the upper right corner of the rear window was a Chris "KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!" bumper sticker! I did not recognize the male driver at all. I thank him very much for displaying the sticker....but I will ALWAYS have a problem with his choice of vehicle. Fran Kempa - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 23:13:56 (MDT) 7/26/02.......Same broken heart as yesterday. The photo is another I just LOVE. It was taken June 10th 1986, Chris' second Birthday. You can just see how happy and full of life he was! He remained just that way until the day he was killed. Yesterday I went to Kroger on my way home from work. I couldn't find my Kroger Plus card. I decided to do a complete search of my wallet thinking I'd just stuck it some place after using it last. The search took me to places I hadn't been in that wallet for a LONG time. I'd forgotten I still have Chris' Library card and Social Security card in there. I didn't place them there after death, it's something I did when he was alive. He never carried a wallet, we were always togrther and if he ever needd them we knew where they were...but it really got me in Kroger to see his name and signature on them! The Library card he signed Chris Kempa, the Social Security card is very formally signed, Christopher Michael Kempa. You NEVER know what will get you, when or where. After I composed myself, I went to apply for a new card and was given the application. For the first time in almost two years, the question came up, "How many people are in your family?"....I had to put down three and it broke my heart again. I called my Father for his Birthday last night. As usual I wound up talking to my Mother and Sister more. While talking to my Mother, naturally Chris came up. She can relate on some level because her Mother, my Grandmother lost a son and my Mother a Brother when he was sixteen. He died from a brain tumor. I just said how after almost two years, I often STILL can't believe it. And she said something that is very true. "There will never be normalcy again for you. My mother never got over Teddy and you will never get over Chris.".....SO TRUE! Fran Kempa - Friday, July 26, 2002 at 11:15:03 (MDT) I agree with your thoughts from, July 24th.....your thoughts are so true. Love, K Kathy - Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 16:57:32 (MDT) Miss you always Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 23:28:52 (MDT) 7/25/02....The drawing is a random broken heart Chris drew..we never knew how accurate that would become at the time. The photo was taken in Oct. 1985 in our kitchen on Auburndale. I LOVE this picture...I loved it before Chris was killed and even more after. It was the screen saver on our old computer. A representative of the Livonia Police called this evening looking for a donation...HA!. A VERY Happy Birthday to my Father who turns 78 today!! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 23:08:39 (MDT) No matter how long it's been .. I still can't forget about you. I never sill Laura <Moon_kat13@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 20:25:35 (MDT) 7/24/02....Same Tracey 2000 painting as yesterday. The photo was taken on June 10th, 1985 during Chris' first Birthday celebration. That's Chris with his "passie." I had a very long conversation with my sister in North Carolina Tues. afternoon. Her 22 year old daughter had a very bad experience. What I told her to try to console her was not very comforting. I basicly told her, even though bad, at least there are new things to report about her daughter.....there is NO NEWS to report about a dead boy. I hope she wasn't offended and I hope she understands, my point was...she's ALIVE!! You can always pick up and go from there. At the very end of the conversation, she put her Grandson Bradley on. I said, "Hi Bradley, how are you?" He said, "Who's this?" I said, "It's Aunt Franny." He said, "Is this Christopher's Mom?" I said, "Yes honey, I'm Christopher's Mom." He said, "He's dead." I said, "I know he's dead honey." He said, "He's in heaven with God." With that, my sister took back the phone and said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that's not the way I wanted it to come out.....something like that. I said, "It's OK, he's right, he's dead." A small child just speaks the truth...and he did. I had a long conversation with a friend, Tues. evening. Her son was a life long friend of Chris. We talked about his plans for the future. Several times during the conversation she said, "I'm sorry, I know this must be hard for you." And once again, I had to say, "It's OK." Most unfortunatly, I DO know, Chris is DEAD and he WILL NOT be attending college in the Fall....Most unfortunatly, that is my reality. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 23:18:47 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 14:16:50 (MDT) 7/23/02...The art is the painting Chris gave to Tracey in June, 2000 for a graduation present. He knew she liked it, so he gave it,...he was just that way. The photo was taken on June 10th, 1985, Chris' first birthday! It was just the four of us for the celebration....But as you can se by the number of balloons, it was a BIG event! People who don't know me, and just see me, have NO idea. There is a constant storm RAGING inside of me. The intensity varies.....some days it's just a shower, and then some days,....like Monday, it's a tropical hurricane, coupled with a tornado. I have NO idea when these storms intensify. Monday, I was at work. When it all happens at the same time, I have the exact reaction. When the pain in my gut is coupled by the flashbacks from the ER and the funeral home and I try to imagine how he felt upon impact....this is the most intense storm....and it hits a few times a week at least..my co workers are used to it, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing at the time, I react the same way. I sigh a BIG sigh and say, "Oh my God!" Monday, my co worker from India heard me and said, "You're doing it again." And I said "What?" And she said, "You're thinking about Chris." And I said, "YES I am, and that will NEVER stop!".....But it was interesting to know, people who know me well know when it's an INTENSE storm....they have seen them enough, they know! Fran Kempa - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 22:34:06 (MDT) I may never see tomorrow, There's no written gaurentee, And things that happened yesterday, Belong to histoty. I cannot predict the future. I cannot change the past, I have just the present moment, I must treat it as my last. I must use this moment wisely, For it soon will pass away, And be lost to me forever, As part of yesterday. I must exercise compassion, Help the fallen to their feet, Be a friend unto the friendless, Make an empty life complete. The unkind things I do today, May never be undone, And friendships that I fail to win, May never be won. I may not have another chance, On bended knee to pray, And thank God with humble heart, For giving me this day. Author Unknown - Monday, July 22, 2002 at 19:41:34 (MDT) 7/22/02....Same random sketch as yesterday. The photo was taken in July 1985 in London, Ontario. Every summer for years, my parents took the boys for a week to stay with them in Buffalo. We always met at a McDonalds on Wellington Rd. in London and switched kids. When Chris was very young, he was a bad traveler. Adam is trying to comfort him in the deck of our then station wagon. Brad and Claudia came for dinner tonight. I find lately I'm very ready to have people over, much more so than when Chris was alive. Not that I didn't want to then, I was more consumed with my boys. I am enjoying it very much, it's a good diversionary measure. Fran Kempa - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 22:47:22 (MDT) 7/21/02....The drawing is one of many little sketches Chris would do all the time. If there was a surface to draw on he drew. It took him about two minutes or less to do one like this. The photo was taken Oct. 31st 1885. the first time he joined his brother for trick or treating. Adam was a robot that year.....and as you can see, Chris was an Angel! Fran Kempa - Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 09:03:22 (MDT) 7/20/02....Same Braid drawing from yesterday. The photo was taken during Chris' 2nd Birthday party, June 10th 1986. Adam is showing him his gifts, then went on to help him open them. It was very hard to see Adam leave on a long trip yesterday. When Chris was first kiled, it was hard for me to see him leave the house. I never stopped him from doing anything but I was very anxious the whole time he was gone. Thank God for both of us, I'm not like that anymore. I'm back to trusting he'll be OK...What else can you do? It just hit me yesterday..this was a long trip, not an every day event...something could happen. But in a way that's a foolish thought. Chris was killed walking to school less than a mile from the house, how much more of an every day event is that?.....More proof of the fact that you can never tell. Your life CAN change in the blink of an eye! Fran Kempa - Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 11:23:15 (MDT) 7/19/02....The drawing was done sometime in High school of a girl in his art class. The photo was taken June 10th 1986 during Chris' 2nd Birthday party. Adam and a group of friends leave for NYC for a music festival on Coney Island today......Chris should be going with them....I know he would have. Fran Kempa - Friday, July 19, 2002 at 05:16:55 (MDT) 7/18/02....Same broken left eye as yeaterday. The photo was taken in Oct. 1987. Adam and I had traveled to Boston for a convention and my parents watched the boys in Buffalo. That's Chris playing in Bill and Grandma Joan's driveway. The back to school campaign is starting up again. Target's Garden Shop has been reduced to one asile....The remaining space is devoted to BACK TO SCHOOL. I think this year will be even harder than last year. While last year was a landmark event...SENIOR year, this year he SHOULD have started College! I like to think he would be going to CCS just as he dreamed. After some years of summer classes there, he felt very comfortable and knew his way around the campus. In May of 2000 one of his John Lennon drawings was submitted and selected for exhibit during their annual show. Because he had taken summer classes there he was included in the process. He and we were SO PROUD! I remember vividly going to see it displayed among all the other great works....and this wasn't The Civic Center Library...This was CCS! I also remember him guiding us all around campus...a most wonderful day! I so wish he could guide us around campus for Freshman orientation! Fran Kempa - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 14:56:29 (MDT) Many very talented artistic individuals create paintings and drawings with "eyes" as their primary focus. Just look at some of the great ones. Michelle - Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 07:34:04 (MDT) Fly away to the angels Fly away and be free let your soul be at peace now Will you look down on me? Are you numb or alone? Can you hear when I speak? Are you happy or sad? Do you feel, do you see? I can't understand how it was for you were you scared, did you cry? Now I'm crying too. It was just yesterday You entered my mind I wondered how you were I remembered our times.... I can't believe that you're gone I read all your old letters You were sweet, loving and kind That's all that I'll remember. So fly away to the angels Fly with them and be free Let your soul be at peace now, But don't forget about me! Fly Away To The Angels <Author Unknown> - Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 22:03:54 (MDT) 7/17/02...The art is the broben left eye Chris did some time in High School. Given his fascination with altered eyes...especially left ones, I have to believe on some level he knew his fate...not consciously. The photo was taken during our second summer in our new house, 1993. That's Adam and Chris on the porch. Monday I was talking to my new co worker...the one who recently lost her Grandson who was more like a son. She was telling me her daughter, the boy's mother, had just left with her family on their first vacation since her son died. She was telling me how AWFUL her daughter felt! I said most unfortunatly, for the rest of our lives, EVERY special event will start out on a sour note because our children aren't there. Yes, we can have fun, yes, we can be happy, yes we can enjoy ourselves. But we can't have as much fun, be as happy or enjoy ourselves as much as we would have had our children not been killed! And that will NEVER change for the rest of our lives! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, July 16, 2002 at 22:36:39 (MDT) 7/16/02...Same LEFT Einstein EYE as yesterday. The photo was taken in June, 1994 at Tiger Stadium.. His first..and last Tigers game. Sunday I caught a glimpse of a movie on TNT while I was at work. It stoped me in my tracks. My co worker asked what was wrong. I told her it was one of the last movies Chris and I saw together. It was THE OTHER SISTER. About five years before Chris was killed we started a tradition. When Adam went out of town the boys and I went to see a movie. After a few years, Adam W. stopped coming for the most part so it was just Chris and me. He picked the movies, I paid for them and we had fun! He picked that one and as I recall, we both enjoyed it very much. I've been going to the Cemetary every other day in this heat to water the plants. Some of the other plants at some of the other graves were looking rather poorly so I've started tending to them as well! Adam said someone might get mad but I can't imagine that..judging by the dates on some of the markers, I imagine the caretakers are elderly and aren't able to visit the cemetary often. I'm already there with water so why not. Sunday night at Allen's Scott showed me a picture of the Senior class. It's a kind of panoramic picture taken up in the bleachers. At first I was sad but then Scott or Claudia brought to my attention the fact that Matt Comben is wearing his Chriskempa.com shirt in the picture! He's almost in the very center and you can see Chris! Coincidence?....Maybe, maybe not! Scott also gave me the picture from the National Geographic that Chris was patterning his little boy drawing after...the one we used for our Christmas card. I was SO happy to see that...I have been wondering about that for a LONG time now! Fran Kempa - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 22:27:24 (MDT) 7/15/02....The art is the LEFT EYE from the Einstein drawing Chris did shortly before he was killed. The photo was taken in Aug., 1991 at the cottage in Lexington, on Lake Huron. That's (left to right), Katrina Deady, Adam w., Michael Deady, Deady's cousin David Beckett, Chris and standing next to Chris is someone I don't know. Caleb Deady is sitting in front of Chris. That's how the beach was....lots of kids, lots of activity, and ALWAYS, lots of fun! No doubt, that's why Chris, most of all, LOVED it so much! Yesterday's photo was taken during our first summer at the beach, Aug. 1990. Yesterday we were able to visit all the homes on the garden walk except one....it was VERY easy picking the one we'd skip!...Time was a factor as it ended at 4 and we started at 3:10....only one pond this year, Chris would have been disappointed! ALL the gardens were very well cared for when I compare them to my NEGLECTED gardens this year...I was saying to Claudia, how did I do it in years past?....Miracle Growing EVERY two weeks religiously...not ONE application this year!... It's so funny though. Last weekend when my brother and sister in law visited, she was looking around the grounds and said, "Everything is so beautiful!!" And I said, "Joanne, if you think this is beautiful, you should have seen it when Chris was alive!!....THAT was beautiful!!"...and this was to be the year of the joint High School / College Graduation party....I KNOW I would have been out there in March, getting ready! This year, I can only handle the basics....My hope is, over time, I will be able to bring the gardens back to their full glory to honor Chris...but it's kind of hard to do with a Beagle who LOVES to dig!.... During the garden walk I ran into a neighbor whom I hadn't seen since Chris' wake. She was an Auburndale neighbor and her daughter and Adam were close when they were very young. After comparing notes on Brooke and Adam, the natural progression of the conversation was Chris. I told her some of the things we've learned since the horrible day and she....as EVERYONE who knows all the facts was SHOCKED!! But she instantly said, "Oh my God, NOW it makes sense!" After the walk we were treated to another WONDERFUL dinner prepared by the Allens...They cook...I just prepare food!..After dinner, we skimmed on the "Move on" subject. I told Brad, as far as I'm concerned, I AM moving on...life doesn't give you a choice...the fact that I've gotten out of bed every morning...sometimes pretty late...is testimony to the fact that I'm moving on....But I'm taking Chris with me! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't honor him in some way...and that will NEVER change! Fran Kempa - Monday, July 15, 2002 at 16:17:49 (MDT) 7/13/02....The art is the drawing he did of his beloved spaniel Charlie in 1996. The photo was taken Christmas Eve, 1989. The boys were getting the cookies and milk ready for Santa! Tomorrow we will be going on our neighborhood garden walk with the Allens. Claudia and I both have to work so time will be a factor. Chris went on the walk with us in both 1995 and 1996. Ponds were much the rage then and still are. Chris was VERY interested in ponds and wanted very badly to help his Dad put one in our yard. He came with us to view the ponds....one year almost every yard had one. Chris went so far as to choose the location in the yard.... He even drew rough plans that depicted pond, plants and yard furniture! We never put in the pond, we don't have the pleasure of Chris anymore.....but we still have those cherished plans! Fran Kempa - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 16:38:38 (MDT) Just wanted to say I read in here a long time ago Mrs Kempa said something about Chris asking her to start buying Altoid's so he could make a project outta the tins...Well I always keep a tin of Altoid's in my car and the other week I was driving around and noticed the tin was empty well rather then throw it away I decided to give it to Chris:) I figure it's a start on your project make it a good one! ~Christina~ <anflilswimmer336@aol.com> - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 19:05:44 (MDT) I agree with michell that this women's name should be posted along with her poems. I am sorry to say there are many web pages dedicated to dead children. Not all of them list credit for the poems that appear. I would ask that anyone posting poems on our web site to please list the author when possible. Miss you always Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:35:26 (MDT) 7/12/02....Same Beck drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in December, 1993 while Christmas tree shopping. I E mailed Geraldine Stephey and told her she was so right, all the poems entered here are so comforting! I received a beautiful reply along with two of her original poems which I hope to put up here later today. Fran Kempa - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:06:59 (MDT) this womens name should be posted along with her poems. No one has the right to use them without her permission or at least her name! michelle - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 08:30:15 (MDT) I just found this. Interesting to see several of the poems that I wrote about the loss of my daughter appearing here as "author unknown". I can only assume that they were cut and pasted from the site where they were without getting the author's name with them. But they were meant to give comfort, first to me, and then to whoever else could relate to them. If they have done that, then I am happy. Geraldine M Stephey <Always49@aol.com> - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 19:30:46 (MDT) When God calls children To dwell with Him above, We mortals sometimes question, The wisedom of His love. For no heartache compares with, The death of one child Who does so much to make our world, Seem so wonderful and mild. Perhaps God tires of calling, The aged to his fold So He picks a rosebud, Before it can grow old. God knows how much we need them, And so he takes but few, To make the land of Heaven, More beautiful to view. Believing this is difficult, Still somehow we must try, The saddest word mankind Knows, will always be goodbye. So when a child departs, We who are left behind Must realize God loves children, ......Angels are hard to find! Author Unknown - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 16:10:11 (MDT) 7/11/02....The drawing is of Beck which he did I believe sometime in 2000. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1996. That's Adam, Chris...with his Santa hat, and Felix. Last week a new nurse started at work. I'm sorry to say we share tragedies in common. She lost her five year old grandson in February. He was her grandson....but more like her son. She recently moved to Michigan and attended her first Compassionate Friends meeting July 3rd. I think we'll prove to be great therapy for each other. It was great to have my brother and sister in law visit last weekend. We really didn't have much time to sit and chat but I was able to take them to the Memorial, the Cemetary and by the house the driver lived in when he killed Chris. They, like everyone else, were Shocked by the SHORT distance from driveway to killing! Fran Kempa - Thursday, July 11, 2002 at 15:34:58 (MDT) i remember hearing of chris just after he passed...the info that he was an artist is what grabbed my attention....for once it wasn't just some random tragedy in the news, it was the death of somebody very much like me......being a huge fan of many local bands (i.e. red shirt brigade, the recital, etc.) i became much more aware of the presence chris has and i have since attended all of the chris fests. i am an art student at the college for creative studies and i am utterly impressed by the humanity and class that has ensued after chris' passing. i think the memorial art scholarship is a terrific humanitarian memory of a boy i wish i could have known. michael goss <istari75@hotmail.com> - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 17:53:07 (MDT) how much just - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 17:20:53 (MDT) 7/10/02....The art is the same BANG as yesterday. The photo was taken on Christmas day, 1991, our last Christmas on Auburndale. Chris is opening a Star Wars character, I'm not sure what Adam's opening. The last poem entered hit home where it says, "Don't just stare at the wall"....I've been doing A LOT of wall staring since Chris Fest. I think it's a combination of physical.....but mostly mental fatigue. I have accomplished all the necessary tasks...like going to work...but nothing else....sitting and staring. I am SO HAPPY Adam has such a wonderful girl in his life now!! Other than his brother, that was the only thing lacking....and while NO ONE will EVER fill the void, she will help...I am SO HAPPY!! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 16:24:30 (MDT) A limb has fallen From the family tree. I keep hearing a voice that says, "Grieve not for me." Remember the best times The laughter, the songs, The good of my life I lived, though not very long. Continue my memory, I'm counting on you Keep on smiling and surely, The sun will shine through. My mind is at ease, My soul is at rest. Remembering all.... I was truly blessed! Continue traditions No matter how small Go on with your life, Don't just stare at the wall. I miss you all dearly, So keep up your chin Until the day comes That we're together again. Author Unknown - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 13:15:34 (MDT) No, it is not the same. Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 10:25:45 (MDT) Most of all, I do not understand why some people die so young. Some people live so long and then they take the lives of those who had so long to live. What I understand the most is why we miss them. We know them so long and we cannot believe that someone we loved so much is really gone. But we know they are. So we promise to keep them alive forever in our hearts....but it's NOT the same.... Christy - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 17:40:06 (MDT) 7/9/02....This sketch Adam calls, BANG! Done some time during Chris' shortened high school career. The photo is another taken at Allen's...again guessing, maybe '91? That's Pete to the left and Chris to the right....That may be part of Scott to the far left. Still very pleased with the Barn Show success!...but always very sadened by the reason for it. Thank you Cori for your touching entry. You are right about Chris and Adam....EVERYONE said they could pass for twins as they got older...I guess I just have to look at Adam to imagine what Chris would....SHOULD have looked like at any given age. Adam was Chris' idol! Anything and everything Adam did, Chris had to do...and he tried to do it better! That's how he first got interested in drawing at a very young age. Adam is also very artistic, but his varied interests took him different ways. In his attempt to keep up with Adam, art became Chris' heart and passion. He also had various interests, but art....in many different forms, was most important! I said to someone yesterday, I will go to my grave with the FIRM BELIEF...had one person not been on the road 11/20/00...Chris would be looking forward to starting college in a few months just as many of his friends are....and there isn't ONE person, given all the facts, who doesn't firmly believe that as well...this did not have to happen. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 16:41:08 (MDT) Chris, i love you and wanted to let you know how talented you were! It's such a shame that you're gone. You were a great drawer and musician! Love and miss you, Brooke ;) Brooke Hale <hailhale@peoplepc.com> - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:57:45 (MDT) A special thanks to Cindy L. for her hard work on "Chris Fest 2001" Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 00:30:41 (MDT) I am so happy that the show went well, and that I got to see so many people come, and show their love for Chris, and the Kempas. But my heart breaks more when I am reminded of the fact that we are all there for the wrong reasons, having the show for the wrong reasons. As far as I'm concerned, Mrs. Kempa, you should have no fear of Chris being forgotten. Because I can see him living on through so many people. Everywhere I look, I see people who have taken on traits and mannerisms of Chris. And when we practiced with Adam and the rest of "the breakdace", I could see where Chris got his personality from. His Brother. Thank you for including me in the show. I'm sure that I'll never forget it. All that I am, Cori Corinne <pleasegrowforme@yahoo.com> - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 23:03:19 (MDT) The dream I had last night was all too real. Colleen Marie - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:55:59 (MDT) Kristin and I went to Chris's fundraiser Saturday. I thought it was really nice to have the bands there so kids who ordinarily couldn't get to see live music because of their age could see what the musicians out there are playing. Again, I agree that this would have been even greater if Chris could have been there playing and the fundraiser would have been for another cause. Wanted to let everyone know that I was coming home from work when the Spree was going on, hitting all the five o'clock traffic. At the intersection of Farmington and Lyndon(?) saw two boys crossing very late when the light changed and they were only halfway through. I don't know why but NOT ONE CAR MOVED until those two boys were safely on the curb. We're talking bumper to bumper traffic on all four sides with no one honking their horns or inching forward, just all the drivers aware that two boys needed to make it to the curb. Wish one driver could have been that considerate. Thanks Chris. Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk @ aol.com> - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 09:12:03 (MDT) 7/7/02.....a rather late entry, recovering from Chris Fest 2002 and all the preparation!! The art must be changing randomly, as this is not the one I chose for this day...anyway, the art is his Deniro drawing from Raging Bull. The photo was taken at the Allen Arden residence during one of Scott's Birthday parties...not sure of the year...guessing maybe '91. That's Chris to the left, Scott in the middle and Pete to the right.....Chris and Scott were friends for all of Chris' life! I agree with Joanne...WOW!! Another GREAT fund raiser for Chris' Memorial Scholarship Fund!! Once again, we raised enough to fund next year's scholarship and then some! I want to thank EVERYONE for their hard work in helping keep Chris' memory alive....I hope everyone had fun in the process! I'm not sure where to start with my thanks....SO MANY people helped! I'll start with the bands...they ALL DONATED their time and TALENT!! and I thank them VERY MUCH: Scott Allen & The Breakdance, The Pop Project, Thunderbirds Are Now, The Recital, and El Boxeo. Every single member of every band played their heart out for Chris!! Next, I have to agree with Joanne again, Brad and Claudia Allen were instermental in bringing the whole Fest together....from the Barn show to the after party, it wouldn't have happened without them...I thank them and love them very much....they truly are DEAR friends. AGAIN, I agree with Joanne...Sarah and Sarah for manning the door..both of you girls were there for HOURS and did an excellent job...one of the most important jobs! Bill Deady, another dear friend, thank you for all the running around you did and the clean up afterward! And most important of all, ALL the people who came to honor Chris, and hear some GREAT music! It truly was like a pseudo Graduation party! SO MANY of his friends were there and I thank them for coming! As I said to Joanne Sunday morning, we could easily fund the scholarship out of pocket every year...but to me, the main reason for Chris Fest is to keep his memory alive for as long as possible...so far, it's working! Last, I want to thank my beloved son Adam for working so hard to honor his beloved brother...from arranging the bands, to the shirts, to the buttons , to the stickers, to playing his best in three of the five bands for Chris...I thank him and hope he knows how much I love him and how proud I am of him!! As Adam said in his entry, as long as we didn't dwell on why we were there, it was a great time! The only part that really got me was when Scott's band played....There was Scott, Cori, Dana, Adam and Ryan...but where was Chris?? ANOTHER Chris SHOULD have been there moment....They're happening more and more lately! Fran Kempa - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 22:19:59 (MDT) WOW...is all I can say. The show of support for Chris was overwhelming. What a terrific turnout. Chrisfest 2002 was a great fundraiser for the next scholarship. It was nice to meet Joe Cwik, Cory, and all of the other kids I have heard so much about on this website. Adam William was outstanding in his band performances..and all of the musicians were awesome. Sarah and Sarah, you were awesome at the entrance and selling wristbands. Brad and Claudia..you truly are dear friends of the Kempas. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this great event. Much love and peace to all! Jo and Bill <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 19:47:35 (MDT) Many thanks to all who made this years "Chris Fest" possible. Guitar Center loaned us a beautiful PA system again this year. The bands were great, I saw many of Chris's friends playing and more in the crowd. I could enjoy it only if I didn't think about why we were having the show................................right, it didn't work very well. Still I am thankful for such a show of support. The art scholarship is a good thing and Chris would have been proud. Thanks guys Miss you always Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 18:41:46 (MDT) Went to Chris Fest today "chris kempa benefit concert", AWESOME!!! i loved the bands that i saw tonight, but the only reason i was there was for the cause, to raise money for the Art Scholarship at franklin, Hope there is another benefit concert!!!! The only thing that was missing was Chris, but i knew he was there with all of us in spirit watching and enjoying the show!!! miss ya kiddo! Katie B. - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 20:23:42 (MDT) Chris, its hard to believe that the second memorial show for your art fund is tonight!! Saturday July 6 at Wilson Barn.(5:30-10:30) Miss you always Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 11:18:04 (MDT) 7/5/02....The photo was taken in May, 1992 at Chris' First Communion. He was very grown up that day...and he loved his clothes, he called them "parent clothes!" It was very strange sitting out on the porch last night...all I could think was TWO years ago we were ALL sitting here enjoying the fireworks! On one hand two years seemed like a moment ago, then the next minute I thought, "My God, has it been two years!?"....and it seemed like forever ago. It's also very strange getting ready for this party tomorrow night. It's odd because I'm going through all the motions I know I'd be going through for the joint Graduation party we were planning two years ago...but it's not a Graduation party for either one of the boys. It's a party to honor Adam's dead brother and our dead son. Many of their friends will be here...but Chris WON'T....And yes that makes me VERY ANGRY...I find myself becoming MORE angry not less when I sit and think about everything.... Fran Kempa - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 18:50:35 (MDT) Some people claim to have "gotten over" Chris' death. That just shows that they never really never really gave a rip about him. I haven't gotten over it. I am still haunted by the fact that I never had the chance to tell him how great he sounded with the Derelict. I go to his memorial every once and a while to tell him. Brad Hale <noneavailabley2k@yahoo.com> - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 15:36:50 (MDT) "Only the good die young."-The only thing to comfort. Colleen Marie - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 11:25:31 (MDT) 7/4/02....The photo was taken on August 25, 2000, less than THREE months before he was killed. It's still SO hard to see photos like this....the way he was when he was killed. Look at him! He was a healthy, BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, FUNNY kid!!... But at the same time, it's nice to see photos like this ...for all the same reasons! Which brings me back to ONE of my running rants..."WHAT A WASTE!!" Needless to say, Chris has been, and is on my mind almost constantly today. No big Fourth party as in years before. But as I said to Adam earlier this evening, if Chris was alive, he wouldn't have been home. He'd have plans with friends just like Adam does, which is great....if that had been the case, his absence would have been MUCH easier to take today! I felt different things from him at different times today. At times I felt like he was trying to comfort me with his, Mom, Mom, don't worry about me.....I'm OK's from Heaven. Then at certain times today, I felt he was strongly reminding me to get the story out...why this tragedy happened that horrible day. He knows he has nothing to worry about there....it's just a matter of time... Fran Kempa - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 16:23:58 (MDT) 7/3/02....I guess Adam hasn't preprogramed the page for the month as it changed randomly again. I know he will SOON! VERY busy today with Barn Show and party afterward preparation! Busy but happy to do it because it's honoring Chris. Tomorrow is another day Chris LOVED. We won't be having a party this year, the pool remains covered in this heat, and I'm working and I'm GLAD!.....Won't have to spend ALL day missing Chris, just the evening hours. I'd like to take a sparkler to the Memorial again this year....I know he liked that last year!!........Missing Chris SOOOOOOOO much! I fear the second year IS harder, just as we were warned!! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 18:06:26 (MDT) It's an entity all it's own, With it's pain that's never really gone. It has many thoughts and faces But very few reality traces. It makes you ask many a question All of which you try to shun. What, when, where, if, why? Could I have done something so my child didn't have to die? These are what EVERY parent asks This part of grief is a heart wrenching task. Hours turn to days, days into months, months to years This is the war you fight without gear. You feel bare naked and all alone At times you feel like you can't go on. You say this happens to someone else, not me This I think every parent would agree. But this time, it really is you, You SCREAM, "NO, NO, NO..."but it's oh so true. This nightmare that never ends With these feelings you just can't pretend. People say well, "You sure look good!" Don't they know we'd rather die if we could! Yes grief has it's own way, While we endure it and live day to day. Author Unknown <GRIEF > - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 20:30:07 (MDT) I am really looking forward to this weekend in Livonia with our family. Bill and I are driving to Michigan from Buffalo New York to share the special event in Chris's honor Saturday evening. This is the first one we could attend. It will be nice to see Fran, Adam and Adam and to visit the cemetary and memorial site. I wish the visit was for a happier occasion!! Anyway, let's pray this event is a smashing success!!! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 20:10:44 (MDT) a soul without music is like an angel without its wings lawrence <generalmeasures@yahoo.com> - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 01:17:31 (MDT) 7/2/02.....The art is the flyer Adam made for the Chris Kempa Benefit Show at Wilson Barn on Sat. July 6th. Please click to enlarge and read! The photo is one Chris took of himself in Oct. 2000....ONE MONTH before he was killed!!... with some of his favorite things. This is one of the pictures that made me wonder even more if.....on some level he knew......why would he have taken two Polorid rolls of himself and one 35mm roll ONE MONTH before he was killed. People just don't take their own pictures.....and not three rolls!! I swear, he was leaving us some gifts because on some level...he knew!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 00:53:17 (MDT) ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? submit USA - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 19:56:19 (MDT) 7/1/02....Adam hasn't preprogramed the page for the month of July yet. The random switch shows the 2002 Art Scholarship certificate awarded to Sarah Sikora. The photo was taken after the ceremony of Betty Jo Welsh, Franklin Are Dept. Chair and recipient Sarah Sikora...We still wish her all the best in art! We survived the last of our graduation parties last night and it was a tough one...Caleb's. Caleb became quite emotional when he opened his gift just as Scott did. There were more people around Caleb at the time and as a result, many people were crying. I gave all of Chris' friends and some of his favorite teachers a copy of his Edward Scissorhands drawing. I thought it would make a wonderful Graduation/ Thank you gift. I know they ALL LOVED it! I only had Scott's and Caleb's framed. I have only one more to deliver and that's to Moriah. Of ALL the wonderful creations he left as gifts to us, I consider Edward his Masterpiece....Lucky Adam....he get's the original because way back ,when Chris drew Edward he said, "This one's for Adam!" Adam is a BIG Edward fan. I brought his portfolio to work yesterday. Many had expressed interest as I STILL talk about him all the time....and like everyone else....they were blown away! Most had the same question,"If this is what he was doing at 16, WHAT would he have been doing by 18? When we took the two Edwards to Frame Works to be framed a few weeks ago, we put them on the counter on top of each other so there appeared to be only one. When the woman came up to us and saw it she said," Oh wow, you must have paid a LOT for this." We explained in a way we had done just that. She went on to say she had owned this branch for years and has seen "A LOT of art come through.....and most of it's BAD!!' She said, "Take it from me, this is GOOD." And then she, like my work people said, "What a WASTE!!" He ALWAYS told me, depending on his current interest he was going to be the next Walt Disney or Stephen Spielberg....and I BELIEVED him! He had the talent, drive and personality to succeed in a big way. I HONESTLY believe he and some of his friends would have been famous....I believe some still will! At one point last night, Caleb and Scott were sitting on the piano bench, playing the piano together. I said to Claudia, "I SO wish Chris was sitting between them right now!" Then I said, But maybe he's hovering above!" Fran Kempa - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 17:03:14 (MDT) Here is a poem that applies to your "situation" "Jerk of All Jerks" Paul McCartney I'm a motorist that quite Likes a drink when he drives Who causes the loss Of innocent lives I'm the guy with the pistol Who kills your best friend You can't really blame me 'Cos I'm round the bend Hello—how are you? I'm jerk of all jerks I'm here to undo All your charitable works I do it quite simply by Making mistakes And one little boo-boo Is all that it takes And you're at the mercy of Jerk of all jerks. I'm the man that disposes Of nuclear waste. There's no need to worry It's perfectly safe In fact there is now Every reason to hope That if anything happens I'll easily cope Hello—how are you? I'm jerk of all jerks... I'm the leader who says As he wages his war That the children are not Ones that he's aiming for Hello, How are you? I'm jerk of all jerks... Dave <MCX2@hotmail.com > - Monday, July 01, 2002 at 13:43:53 (MDT) 6/30/02....Same BEAN drawing as yesterday. The photo is one Chris took that I love. He took it about a month before he was killed in the mum part of the front garden. We never saw it until AFTER he was killed. He had at least 30 rolls of undeveloped film on his desk when he was killed. In our attempts to scramble and grasp for ANY connection to Chris right after, we took all those rolls in for developing at the same time. Most were what I call "Chris pictures." Pictures of things most people would never dream of taking.....for example, the inside of Larry's dumpster, a construction site etc. But he obviously saw something there with his creative mind. This was one of the few of those 30 rolls that caught my eye...the color and perspective...I love it. Fran Kempa - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 22:51:23 (MDT) This poem is dedicated to all those whose lives have been robbed by an impaired driver and those who remain to bear the pain. Never a day passes that I don't remember. Yet I must admit that it becomes more difficult with time passing To retrieve from my memory The precise candance of your laugh The intricate design of your features The spring in your step. But never a day passes that I do not remember I remember in the absence of things. The cheerfulness Thebeauty The energy The passion you brought to life! The empty seat at the dinner table I remember because I hurt for things that are no more. Amd never a day passes that I don't remember I remember in the presence of things The photographs The funny expression The quick step on the stairs Your favorite sandwich The colours of life you enjoyed The love stamped indelibly on my heart. Sounds grow faint Visions fade Sometimes I am frustrated by that Then I remember that your memory palpates in every beat of my heart Love keeps it alive Never a day passes that I do not Remember And quite often when I remember I cry. Rev. Allen G. Downey <Never A Dat Passes That I Do Not Remember> - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 20:26:16 (MDT) Today I went to our seven eleven near our home to ask it I could put a poster in their window for the Chris Kempa Memorial Benefit Show. The clerk said "sure, all it will cost you is one human soul". How strange. I then informed him that the price had been paid in full... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 15:50:01 (MDT) 6/29/02....This drawing Adam calls BEAN. And if you look carefully, the eyes are not the same! The photo was taken in Oct. 1993 while pumpkin shopping...a task we did together for years and enjoyed. As the boys grew older, they were still interested in carving, but not shopping for them. In Oct. 2000 the task was mine alone. I biught four pumpkins and feared I'd have to carve them alone too. At the very last moment, Chris came through for me! I cleaned them, he carved them.....less than one month later he was killed. Last year we had no pumpkins...I fear it will be the same this year. Yesterday afternoon I stopped by the cemetary to water the plants. As I watered I could hear a lot of noise in the background.....loud voices, music and an occasional scream. I thought the cemetary workers were getting a little rowdy...after all it was Friday, near quitting time. As I continued to listen it dawned on me....I was hearing the sounds from the Livonia Spree! The cemetary and the grounds are so close, you couldn't help but hear it......And I lost it badly! All I could think was here I am, at Chris' grave, listening to the sounds coming from an event he loved...and once again, all I could think was, Chris SHOULD be there! In my mind there are no would haves or could haves......Only SHOULD haves! This NEVER should have been ALLOWED to happen! Fran Kempa - Saturday, June 29, 2002 at 15:14:44 (MDT) That last poem really got me. It's exactly what one of Chris' friends told me. She went to a psychic after Chris was killed. She was told Chris' spirit TRIED and TRIED to get back into his body shortly after impact but couldn't. It just confirmed what I've always believed and continue to believe. Chris did NOT want to die...he had WAY too much going on earth to live for. Fran Kempa - Friday, June 28, 2002 at 07:21:54 (MDT) 6/28/02....Same dirty finger nail drawing as yesterday. The photo is another taken in December 1991. The three boys had finished decorating the tree! If you look closely, you can see Charlie's left paw is shaved. That Thanksgiving, the boys had dressed Charlie like a Pilgrum. Part of his costume consisted of a white T shirt. They had used rubber bands to secure the sleeves to his front legs. When they took the costume off, they missed a rubber band because Charlie was so furry. During the following weeks, Charlie was aware of something foreign on his leg and apparently licked it....all that did was tighten the rubber band....so much so it ate into his skin! By the time we realized what was going on it was a serious problem....as a result, he has always had arthritis in his left ankle, and to this day, licks his left paw CONSTANTLY! I heard something on TV again tonight that really hit home. I believe it was on Larry King Live. They were discussing the Elizabeth Smart situation. Someone said, "Can you imagine, watching your child go to bed, believing all is well, only to wake up in the morning and find your WHOLE WORLD has changed??" And I said, "YES!, not only can I imagine it, most unfortunatly, I lived it." Fran Kempa - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 23:59:44 (MDT) The face of an angel is all that is here. His beautiful eyes equal one terrified tear. Not ready to leave, but has to go. Wants to go back, but God says no. Leaving your life is a scary thought. I guess it's something that can't be fought. A mother, a father, a brother and friends. A meaningful life that suddenly ends. An angel is what he was meant to be, Now just think of all he can see. Looking over his family night and day, Saying I love you in his own special way. In the night we try to sleep, in the day we cry, He watches us all from his star in the sky. Author Unknown - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 14:04:29 (MDT) 6/27/02....I'm not sure of the details of this drawing. Adam calls it LIGHT. For some reason, it makes me think of dirty finger nails! When I saw a certain man for the second time at a very important meeting a few months ago, the first thing I thought of was this drawing...his finger nails were FILTHY! And all I could think at the time was what kind of person would attend such an important meeting with filthy finger nails? Sounds stupid I know but it's the truth. People have ways of revealing themselves...I guess they don't even realize it. The photo was taken in December, 1991. We were decorating the tree for our last Christmas on Auburndale. Fran Kempa - Thursday, June 27, 2002 at 11:54:16 (MDT) He is a friend to remember, A friend we love so much. The memory runs through my mind, Of the last time we touched.< He lived a life of happiness, A life filled with love. And because of one mistake he Now looks down on us from above. He was always there to make you, Laugh when you're day was going wrong. I still hate the day that we, Had to say, " so long." Why did it hafta end, This way in so much pain? Since he left this world, things have, Never been the same. I can no longer look forward to Tomorrows anymore. Because I know that they will never, Be the way they were before. Not seeing his face, Not hearing his voice, I only wish there could Have been some choice. Life can end and go so fast, The memory of him will always last. I wish there was some way, we could have said good bye, The thought of him runs through My head, as I look up in the sky. Knowing he is looking down on us, With a smile on his face, Remembering the life he lived before, He left this place. If his life didn't end so quick, He would have gotten far. A fomous artist like he dreamed.... He would have been a star! So as I end this poem I want you, To remember this.... Live your life to the fullest, Because it could end real fast! Base your life upon the future, But NEVER forget the past! In Loving Memory <Kristen> - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 18:36:20 (MDT) Chris, I just read Ms. Hillman's note. I know she would smile to know the comercial that she made for the Chris Kempa Memorial concert is being played several times a day on cable channel 12. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 16:56:35 (MDT) Well, I am sitting in the Internet cafe' in Capetown, South Africa and thought I would write on the site to say that now Chris'website has now been to Africa, and what a place it is! I hope you are all well! I send loving thoughts and prayers your way! Be well! Love, Ms. Hillman Ms. Hillman - Wednesday, June 26, 2002 at 11:13:36 (MDT) 6/26/02....The art is one of three John Lennon drawings Chris did. After he was killed we discovered preparation for his next work.....another drawing of Johm Lennon! Chris LOVED John Lennon. He hadn't begun to draw it, he was just finishing the research. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1993. The Sega was their joint big gift that year. Christmas for us was a VERY laid back day. Most often it was just the four of us. We had no relatives in town to rush to for dinner so we just took it very slowly. Most years we were still in our pajamas at 4:00 in the afternoon! Not that we hadn't gotten up early...we just got busy playing with our gifts! For two years now, it's been VERY awkward being just the three of us on Christmas morning. Yesterday was the third time we were without power or phones this year! Yesterday's photo was taken in August, 1993 at the cottage in Lexington. It showed some Deady kids, some Allen kids and some Kempa kids ENJOYING the water! Saturday, about two hours before Scott's Graduation party I went to the cemetary to water the plants. As I watered and pruned I talked to Chris out loud as I always do....not just at the cemetary. I just said, "You know Chris, we're going to Scott's party soon. I know you'll be there with us some how....but please, just give me a sign." As soon as I got back in the van, RIGHT as I turned the key, the first thing I heard was Billy Joel singing, ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG....that VERY line! And I said....out loud.. "WOW....I thought you'd wait until the party, but THANK YOU!".....In my mind, that was definatly a sign! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, June 25, 2002 at 22:32:48 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>>> - Monday, June 24, 2002 at 00:15:30 (MDT) 6/24/02....Same photo of John Hicks as yesterday....HOPE he comes to the Barn again this year, always great to see him and check up on his artistic progress! The photo was taken in August, 1990...our first summer at the cottage. That's Adam towing Chris in the yellow boat, and Caleb Deady's cousin David Beckett in the tube. I don't know if it's possible to convey the wonderful times we had all those summers. EVERYONE looked so forward to it every year. It was such a beautiful setting to share with friends and family. Chris especially LOVED the beach. Every year he'd ask, "Mom, is it cottage time yet?" I remember so vividly telling Adam's sister Mary one of the years they joined us why we chose this vacation every year. I said "you know, Adam and I could easily take a vacation by ourselves as many couples do...the Bahamas would be nice, but I know we're building childhood memories for the boys and that's much more important to me."...and it was. I'm so happy, even after we stopped going, Chris continued to go to a cottage every year with a friend until the year he was killed...he LOVED the water! Fran Kempa - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 22:25:20 (MDT) When I heard the news I said it's not true, Because something like this cannot happen to you. In the movies it's fake, so it's fake here, too, Because you can't go because I love you. The slightest movement, you would be here today. I just wish you didn't hit your neck that way. As you went for roses for the girl you love, I don't think you thought That you were an angel summoned above. You didn't realize it until the car came your way. To our friends and your family, I wish I knew what to say. I try to be strong to keep my head held high. Though deep down inside I wish I too would die. I live without a good friend, Without you being there. Like you were before is not a life I would share. The feeling of emptiness overwhelms me Every 16th because it's the day, The horrible day, Somebody wonderful passed away. You were too good for this world, Too good for our being. I think I understand the reason of your being. You were sent to make our lives a little better, But now that you're gone my eyes are always wetter. The day you became an angel Is the day I lost that feeling That I am invincible And with that thought I am now dealing. I watch around and am careful who I am with, Because being too young to die is a myth. You proved it to me and many others that day, That even the nicest people die some day. A - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 14:39:08 (MDT) 6/23/02....Another picture Chris took in Sophomore year photo class. A picture of friend and fellow artist John Hicks. John is two years older but Chris dreamed of them being class mates again at CCS. John will begin his third year there this fall....we'll never know if Chris would have joined him....but it was one of his MANY dreams and he was determined. John did the painting of Chris that became the chriskempa.com logo. He brought it to the Funeral Home on the first night of visitation. I leaned it up againt the casket among some flowers. It now hangs in the living room above the mantle, with many other Chris things...things he created and things others created in his memory. The photo was taken in June, 1993...it turned out very badly on the computer. It's Adam, Chris, Scott and Ryan Allen in the pool. We still haven't opened the pool this year and it's doubtful that we will. It was only used about twice last year...Chris was the fish and he's not swimming any more...at least not here on earth. We survived Scott's party last night....GREAT party for a fine young man! And as I suspected, we saw MANY more of Chris' friends there, even though we decided to come late in order to avoid any awkwardness. I remembered years ago, Chris painted YODA on Scott's bedroom wall and I asked him if it was still there. He said it was and asked me if I wanted to see it.... It's signed and everything! Scott said if they ever sell the house he's cutting out that section of the wall and taking it with him! Fran Kempa - Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 14:14:39 (MDT) I gaze outside my window, And wish upon a star. I open up my heart, And let my thoughts drift afar. A tear rolls down my cheek, As I reminisce the past. You hardly got to live, Your life went by so fast. And all because someone else, Made a dumb mistake, I don't understand why it is, Your life he had to take. But there's no way I can bring you back, No matter how hard I try. Because now you're up in heaven, As my angel standing by. Karen Murray <In Loving Memory Of Chris> - Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 14:05:00 (MDT) 6/22/02....Same beautiful Jen Gossett photo as yesterday. The picture was taken in June, 1987 after Chris' first "kid" BD party. Even though it looks staged, it wasn't. A dozen helium balloons had gotten loose and caught in a tree in the back yard....they both obviously had the same reaction! We survived another Graduation party! It was a very nice party for a very nice girl and we enjoyed it...but once again, the whole time, gnawing at the back of your mind was, "Chris SHOULD be here with us!"...and he would have been! Then after the party, some friends of ours and some friends of Adam's gathered at our house...once again, a very good time but the absence of Chris was very apparent!......He would have LOVED the "Bun Party!!" The two HARDEST parties are still to come, Scott's tomorrow and Caleb's next Sunday. As I said to Adam tonight, not only will they be the hardest because of who they're for....his two best friends, but because we'll see more of Chris' friends at these parties than the other ones we've attended so far....And Chris SHOULD have been with us! Fran Kempa - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 23:50:59 (MDT) 6/21/02.....Forgot to thank Angie Hillman and Cyndi Lareau for making the beautiful commercial video....And to convey the fact that the next round of Graduation parties gears up again this weekend starting tonight. In my mind, I'm thinking of the Barn show as Chris' graduation party! Many people who love him will be there! Fran Kempa - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 15:10:55 (MDT) 6/21/02...This is the photo Chris took of the beautiful Jen Gossett in Sophomore year photo class, '99 to '00. Adam calls it EYE HAND...I LOVE it! The photo was taken on Halloween night 1992. That's Chris, Adam and Aunt Molly checking out the loot. I can't believe I missed a day writing in this guestbook!...not because I wanted to, I couldn't get upstairs to the computer due to varnish drying on the stairs. I'm so HAPPY people are beginning to see the commercial and flyer on TV for the Barn show July 6th. The commercial is playing randomly on Ch 12...Community Access for Livonians. The flyer is being shown on Ch.3 Unfortunatly the commercial refers people to this web page for more info. Until Adam is able to put it on the opening page, I'll just relay the details here. The show is being held Sat. July 6th at Wilson Barn, Middlebelt at West Chicago in Livonia. Doors are at 5:30, bands start at 6:00. While the bands are geared to the young...ALL ages are welcome! And as we saw last year, all ages came! There are five bands playing this year. Scott Allen & The Breakdance, The Pop Project, Thunderbirds Are Go!, The Recital and El Boxeo. Just as last year, all the bands consist of Chris' and /or Adam's friends and once again they are all lovingly donating their time and talent to help keep Chris' memory alive! Donation is $5.00....ALL proceeds go to The Christopher Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship Fund at Franklin High School. If the turn out is as good as last year, I'll be thrilled...many are predicting an even BIGGER crowd! Fran Kempa - Friday, June 21, 2002 at 15:02:07 (MDT) y want from you star adresses grad marius <grad m@yahoo.com> - Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 04:43:11 (MDT) You notice that I stare at you; As you walk to where you go; I know you wonder why it is, But how are you to know?....... I stare young man because you see, On a day not too long ago, My son who looked a lot like you, Was taken from his family, And God we MISS him SO! I stare because you led my thoughts, To a memory of him, His smile, his skateboard, the way he moved, Recall will never dim. I cry, "how could he cease to be?" Thoughts of him are ALWAYS there. So when I see my son in you, What can I do but stare?? Young Man On A Street <Author Unknown> - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 22:42:08 (MDT) We saw the commercial on T.V. about your son. We saw his artwork. We heard about the tragedy the day it happened, and we can feel your pain. We're very sorry that you lost your son; he seemed talented and sweet. We're thinking about going to the concert for him, and we're hoping you get over your loss. He was an angel on earth; now he just has wings. Vera <EternalUranus69@hotmail.com> - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 20:21:36 (MDT) Hang in there Dad! Slow is frustrating, but good, so that not even the tiniest stone has been left unturned. All the pieces are coming together to form the Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the undisputed Truth! Amen! The Kempa Family shall prevail! No doubt about it. MCS - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 11:27:35 (MDT) Today's photo, June 19th - the two brothers in the sandbox of our last home in Rosedale Gardens - both boys loved their sandbox and "tree house". It was amazing that sand could be found even up to the second story of our home. Chris asked if we could bring the sand box and tree house with us to our "new" house when we moved. Miss you always...... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 10:16:28 (MDT) However slow, the truth will come out. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 22:48:17 (MDT) I long for yesterday In the stillness of a long dark night With you falling asleep in the next room To the low hum of your TV or stereo I long for yesterday When a hot summers day generated thoughts of the beach Not thoughts of the day you turned 18 in Heaven I long for yesterday When shattered lives belonged to others unknown When dreams and promises Were waiting in an unblemished future I long for yesterday When sounds of laughter and life Filled a now too quiet house Jaded with only the silent cries of my heart I long for yesterday When I could hear the sound of your voice See your creations And feel your hugs. Now I fear it's getting harder to remember I long for yesterday When you were here with me And I was a whole person And my broken heart wasn't! Author Unknown - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 22:23:14 (MDT) 6/19/02....The drawing is a whimsical sketch done on a school paper...when I don't know. The picture was taken in June, 1987. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 22:11:07 (MDT) Sleep now my gentle Angel, You have earned eternal rest. Though your light shined much too briefly, By your love we all were blessed. You brightened the lives of many, With your gentle, caring ways, You touched the lives of all you knew, Your essence is here today. My world will now be darker, My heart is filled with pain. But there's one more star in Heaven, Illuminating God's domain. Sleep now my gentle Angel, Soothed by lullibies and prayers, Your love will live on forever, Although death has closed your eyes. You're woven into my soul You wil ALWAYS live on with pride I know I feel your gentle kisses When you're walking by my side. As a mother I feel cheated I lost your earthly being As a mother I feel blessed For having sixteen years of bliss. You're always in my mind , my heart and soul You're a part of what I am One day I will see you again I live to greet that wondrous moment And hold you once again. Author Unknown - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 23:31:08 (MDT) 6/18/02.....Same Einstein as yesterday, one of the LAST drawings Chris ever did....exactly about two weeks before he was killed. The photo was taken in Oct., 1986. As you can see, Chris was picking his favorite pumpkin! I have talked to a few people very close to me since Sunday. I've told each one how much I REGRET not asking Chris about these altered eyes in his drawings....especially the LEFT eyes. Many of the drawings I never saw until AFTER he was killed. For the ones I did see....and even some I requested...like Einstein....I never thought to question. I NEVER wanted Chris to think I was being critical. I looked at those altered eyes and attributed it to artistic expression....and then RAVED about his most recent work! HOW I WISH I had questioned him about those eyes. I can just hear me in my mind, "So Chris, what's with this eye??" I would have given anything to have heard his response. I know he didn't know...but I wonder to this day if the word "FATE" would have been in his explanation. Fran Kempa - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 22:56:05 (MDT) On a hill in the distance, a young boy quietly waits. Patiently he watches, for his family at the gate. His blue eyes shine so brightly, as hope swells within, for soon he'll see his loved ones, and never part again. How joyous will be the meeting, as Mother holds her child. And Father kisses softly the Angel-----his long lost child. Once more they'll hold each other, and tears will be no more. Forever they'll be together, as they pass through Heaven's door. Angel Waiting <Author Unknown> - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 18:02:04 (MDT) Father's day was yesterday. Last year was the first father's day without Chris. But last year was the first year of "Chrisfest" for the Chris Kempa art scholarship. We all were busy with last minute details. The crowd at Wilson barn made me feel better and the event reminded us how many nice people knew Chris. This year was different, Adam gave me a nice present but had to work most of the day and evening. Fran also gave me a nice day but the "hole" in the day and our lives was present. I missed Chris very much on father's day this year, as I do every day. If it is possible it is getting worse not better. Miss you always..........DAD DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, June 17, 2002 at 00:52:27 (MDT) 6/17/02....the drawing is the Einstein Chris drew for me RIGHT before he was killed to prove to me his drawing ability hadn't suffered because of more concentration on computer animation.....and it hadn't! Once again, you have to see the drawing in person to appreciate all the detail....and once again, even though he never finished it, and even though it's the wrong one....that ever present altered eye is there!! It is very interesting to me! The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1991, in the dining room on Auburndale....starting to assemble their joint Pirate Lego present. Fran Kempa - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 22:09:24 (MDT) IF ONLY, IF ONLY, IF ONLY..........you may hear yourself using those words. Most parents whose child has died have periods when they feel guilty. A part of the guilt is wanting to undo what has been done...to stop time....to re-do a day or a minute that might make a difference. Our culture teaches people to be hard on themselves and blame themselves when anything goes wrong. We tend then, to feel responsible when our children die too. "If only I had kept him in longer....If only I'd been there...If only I'd known....If only...If only." We are people who want answers. It goes against all hopes, beliefs and dreams when our children die. You will search and look for answers to questions which have no answers. Feeling guilty is one way of getting some kind of meaning into a situation which makes no sense....of trying to answer the unanswerable "WHY?" questions. When you feel guilty, recognize it for what it is....a sense of guilt and a searching for an answer. IF YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED YOUR CHILD'S DEATH, YOU WOULD HAVE. You and your family are not to blame. From The Booklet <CHILDREN DIE> - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 21:56:37 (MDT) I hear you stumble for words...relax There are no words. I hear you remembering a funny story About my loved one and looking embarrassed Because you are laughing. Share it with me - let me laugh too. It gives me something to hold onto In the middle of the night, When I feel only pain... Be your happy self and let me be me. On days when I can speak of my loved one, I need you to share my memories.... You don't have to give me answers, For I will learn to live without them. You don't have to pretend my loved One never existed, thinking I will Forget if you do. Let me speak his name And you speak it too He is always here, that one I loved so deeply, always part of who I am. If you take that from me I will be, Less of who I am. Author Unknown - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 11:45:45 (MDT) 6/16/02....Same anti smoking second half as yesterday. The photo was taken in June, 1994. Chris and Dad. Happy Father's Day to all Fathers...Those with earthly children and those with Heavenly children. We happen to have one of each. We were able to get through yesterday's Graduation parties pretty well yesterday. It only hit me HARD twice. When I sat down to write out the three cards...what do you say to your dead son's friends? But I managed to find the words. At Beckey's party there was a large bullitin board hanging up with many of her accomplishments depicted. In the upper right corner was the large formal picture of her and Chris taken at Homecoming 1999. I love that picture. It's very good of both of them. You can just see how tall he was and at the same time how gentle he was....it really got to me. But I was very happy she had displayed it. Fran Kempa - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 11:24:16 (MDT) Happy Fathers day Mr.Kempa Wile I'm sure it can never be as happy as if Chris was here I'm sure he's around in sprit. ................ <...........> USA - Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 10:01:44 (MDT) A father is supposed to shield and protect his children from harm. Because of this I've tortured myself facing up to the fact That my child is dead and I'm still alive. Was it punishment for some long past sin? Why didn't I warn him? I should have known. I might have preventeed it if I'd been there. At least he wouldn't have died alone. At rare times when I laugh, I'm full of shame for having fun. I can easily see that logically I am not to blame But I can't convince my psyche and me. In times of reflection I wonder why... If God can forgive me, then why can't I? Happy Father's Day.......... <NOT!!> - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 22:43:31 (MDT) Happened across this site whilst looking for Ben Folds stuff. I'm organising the music for a memorial for my nephew, David, who died on 3rd March this year. My heartfelt wishes go out to you. Nigel <n.tickell@btinternet> - Saturday, June 15, 2002 at 08:34:51 (MDT) To the family: know you're just two hearts living in two seperate worlds. Janice Simmons <TCF, OKC, OKLA.> - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 22:29:08 (MDT) 6/15/02....The art is the other half of the anti smoking drawing from the last two days. The photo is another that just recently came into our lives. It was taken Christmas morning 1999...what proved to be his last Christmas. I can't tell what Chris is opening in this picture. Three Graduation parties to attend tomorrow...it should be interesting...both from my perspective and everybody elses....who will feel the most awkward!?...them or me. Fran Kempa - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 22:23:30 (MDT) He was too good to be true. That's why God needed him back. Mary Saia - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 19:11:22 (MDT) 6/14/02...Same anti smoking drawing as yesterday. The photo is one of the ones I had developed May 20th 02...one and a half years after Chris was killed. It was taken on 12/25/99 Christmas morning while the boys opened their gifts....what turned out to be his LAST Christmas...how I WISH I knew! If you look closely in the lower left corner you can see the joint gift they're looking at....I was SO proud of myself for finding STAR WARS Trivial Pursuit! We still have the game although I think it was only played once. We keep it in the mud room closet with all the other games....we were very big on games , mostly at the cottage and during holidays...Wheel Of Fortune, Uno Stacko, Racko, Rummi Cub, Scattergories and MANY Trivial Pursuit editions, just to name some!...MANY fun memories! Last night, when I pulled up to the Memorial there were already two people there. A young man and a girl. As I was walking toward it, they were walking away. As we passed I said, "Hi, I'm Chris' Mom, did you know him?" The young man said he had gone to elementry school with Chris, the girl, who I think was his girlfriend said she didn't know him but will never forget him because he was killed on her best friends Birthday. The young man said the last time he saw Chris was at Autumn Bash 2000. He said he tried very hard to talk to Chris that night but couldn't get to him because of the crowd! He said how much he regretted that. I told him he can still talk to him...I do ALL the time! He said he did and left a note at the Memorial...and he did! They left and when I got there I was overwhelmed! Someone has left their cap...as in cap and gown there! There was a program from the ceremony, MANY roses and MANY new candles! (I liked the duckies!) Thank you ALL for remembering Chris on such a special night and in such a special way! As everyone knows by now, the Wings won the Cup last night. While I'm NOT a sports fan, you get drawn into this stuff...mostly because there's nothing else on TV. During the individual players interviews, I found it interesting that each one repeated the fact that it "Was a dream ...many said CHILDHOOD, dream come true." And once again, it hit home SO hard...Chris will NEVER realize ANY of his chilhood dreams....and he had SO many. And yes I believe we're ALL cheated as a result! Fran Kempa - Friday, June 14, 2002 at 00:30:03 (MDT) Dear Franny: My thoughts are with you today...as always. Just wanted to tell you that we love you! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 15:33:07 (MDT) I agree Fran, this NEVER should have happened!! A Friend <Who knows ALL the facts> - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 13:54:41 (MDT) 6/13/02....The picture was done some time in High School I think as part of an anti smoking campaign..I'm not positive. Whenever I would talk to Chris about smoking he would always reply the same way, "I'm not stupid Mom." The photo was taken in June, 1987 at the Livonia Spree...I don't think Chris ever missed one. Yesterday was a most horrible Chris day..worse than his Birthday. He should have...would have had more Birthdays but you only graduate from High School once. I was SO happy he was remembered last night. I honestly wondered if he would be...and absolutly wanted him to be, but I didn't want to ask any school people...I didn't want them to feel obligated...and I THANK them! Chris SHOULD have been with his class last night! This NEVER should have happened or been ALLOWED to happen. NO ONE will EVER make me believe differently. I will go to MY grave with that belief. Fran kempa - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 11:50:31 (MDT) THANKS FRANKLIN ! You helped make a very hard day a little better. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 02:07:37 (MDT) After reading the guestbook recently it's clear. Not only did the driver devastate a family of three, but an extended family, a school community and a LARGE group of teenage friends. I was so happy that Chris was remembered tonight with a moment of silence. It proved how loved and missed he is. Parent Of A Franklin Senior - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 21:59:05 (MDT) Missed ya tonite man...but it was great wish you were there but know you were remembered. A friend - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 21:53:04 (MDT) From one Folds Fan To Another, hope things aint too bad up there, Good luck all - Jamie JR <-> - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 15:29:57 (MDT) It's graduation time again. Your child should be among those wearing the cap and gown, walking down the asile to the ever stirring "Pomp and Circumstance." Now there will be a vacant spot in the line. Should you attend? Can you stand the pain? Will people think you're strange? As always, you must follow your heart. So, go if you'd like to, and don't hide your tears. It's quite alright to miss your own child while celebrating the achievements of others. Just remember that your own instincts are the most important ones. No one else can make this decision for you....it doesn't matter what other people think of you. It was your child who was killed. This is your pain, and you have the right to feel it and deal with it in your own way. And may a bit more healing take place in the doing. Peggy Gibson <TCF Nashville> - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 14:57:43 (MDT) Hey Chris! Can you believe it? we're graduating today!! I know you and luthar have your own little private graduation cerimony with some other students that passed on before they had a chance to experience their senior year. But i know i'll be thinking of you as i'm walking with my class, and i know in spirit you'll be walking with us also. I love you and miss you so much. Katie B. - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 10:07:07 (MDT) Missing Graduate Parents' happy faces all around me, With a glow from within, Pomp and Circumstance is playing, Now the program will begin. The graduates are lined up, They are coming down the asile, Some have serious faces, yet Some have a little smile. I look down the asile hoping For your face to come into sight, This is your class, it was to be Your graduation night. All the graduates pas by, But none of them are you A tug of my heart tells me, You are not here...your death is true. God called you home.... I wanted you here in such a bad way Looking into your classmates faces Do they recall you, missing this day? Memories sweet memories, Now fill my head and heart. There will be no golden tassel, This day for my sweet heart. This class is oh so happy, This isn't the time to be blue, Now I must go shake a hand And get a hug or two. Emma Valenteen <TCF, Valley Forge> - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 09:51:48 (MDT) Not an altered left eye...an altered left eyebrow!! On some level....did Chris know??????????? ???????????? - Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 00:10:51 (MDT) I want to add CONGRATULATIONS!! to all the members of the class of 2002. We wish you all the best of luck in the future! May you all live LONG and wonderful lives!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 22:35:54 (MDT) 6/12/02....Same CRY as yesterday..still VERY appropriate, I know I'll be doing a lot today. The photo was taken June 10, 1998. Chris' 14th Birthday and Adam's High School Graduation. I remember that day so vividly for many reasons. Two MAJOR events! I remember I had two banners made on red paper at Kinko's. One read, "Happy Birthday Chris!" the other read, "Congratulations Adam!!" I also purchased several red and blue helium balloons, (Franklin colors), and while the boys were in school that morning I decorated the porch...when they came home they acted rather annoyed...but I think they liked it!...NO reason to decorate it today. I went to Franklin yesterday to see some teachers. I am SO out of touch I expected to see school going on as usual. I got there about 1:00 and NO ONE was around. I was only able to see one of the four teachers I hoped to see. I did see a lot of preparation for the Senior All Night Party I know Chris would have attended! Today would have been the MAJOR day...one he was SO looking forward to and we all would have been SO proud!! I'd cry happy tears during the ceremony just as I did at Adam's...not such SAD tears as I will today! We have had MANY Graduation party invitations. One year ago I told my closest friends whose sons were Chris' closest friends, there was NO WAY I could attend their parties. Over the year, and just recently I've changed my mind. I intend to attend all we've been invited to...maybe not stay too long...but it will be like Chris attending by proxy. I really don't know what I'll do today...but I WILL honor him some how....but it SO WON'T be the same.....and YES I still feel cheated and will for the rest of my life. As Chris' teacher and I agreed today....she knows ALL the FACTS,.."What a waste!!" Fran Kempa - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 22:26:06 (MDT) When the jitters come on graduation day When the sun burns bright in the month of May, when the tassels hang and the gowns gently sway, PLEASE REMEMBER CHRIS. When you walk across the stage and the crowd is all a-rage When joyous tears begin to fall And you think you've conquered all when the caps begin to fly and you tell your friends goodbye, PLEASE REMEMBER CHRIS!! Adapted from a poem <by Andy Horn's sister> - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 21:41:24 (MDT) The truth will come out. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 20:52:44 (MDT) Last evening Adam went to the Cemetary with us for the first time since Christmas 2000. I ordered 54 balloons in three bunches of 18 and one that said Happy Birthday to tie on the shepherd hook. It was so emotional I fear Adam may not come with us again. The cemetary is STILL VERY hard. Then later we went to the Memorial with out him....but it could have been SO different. I was telling one of my friends I could just picture him SO excited, definatly going out to celebrate. Turning 18 was something he was looking very forward to! I imagined he'd go out with Cori, Caleb, Colleen and Scott...who knows who else...and he'd be DRIVING!! I said I would have given him my usual "BE CAREFUL" lecture and he would have given me his usual response, "Mom, Mom, don't worry about me Mom, I'm OK!" I can't tell you how many times over the years he said that to me in just that way....ALWAYS two Moms!...I guess he felt that would reassure me. Now I can't tell you how often I still hear him say that in my head This too was left at the Memorial last night. It's from a WEEZER song and I think it sums it up pretty well...."the world has turned and left me here, just where I was before you appeared. And in your place an empty space".....Thank you Dana. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 13:06:32 (MDT) Tonight when we went to the memorial we started lighting additional candles,(some were already lit)THANKS. Fran had planned to have 18 going. I started lighting candles. When we counted them we had 19. Without thinking I said "and one to grow on". Fran gave me a look and said "one to grow on"? When we left there were 18 candles burning. No one knows how much we wish they had been on his cake for him to blow out. DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 23:44:33 (MDT) This is one of the things that we found at the memorial tonight. There were already candles going when we arrived. "Happy 18th Birthday Chris. We all miss you so much. Keep on smiling forever." Love, Everyone who knew you. xxxxxxxxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxx> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 23:34:59 (MDT) 6/11/02...The drawing is one Adam calls CRY...I thought it was appropriate. The photo was taken April 16th, 2002. That's Adam and Speck on his first Birthday!...had to carry on the tradition..a dog party...but along with everything else, one person was SADLY missing! Yesterday was a VERY BAD Chris day to say the least. I thank everyone for their many ways of remembering Chris! You have no idea how much it means! Another hurdle down...but MANY more to go. I have a lot more to say but I'm very tired. Fran Kempa - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 23:07:30 (MDT) Hi there - Even though I’ve said it already, I’m going to tell you again……happy birthday, Chris !!! I don’t doubt for a second that John Lennon and George Harrison played at the party that I’m certain was thrown for you today !! I admit, I was curious about Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix too. Well, I hope they played up a storm for you, and you had a blast, By the way, did you really sit Gramma Ruth next to Elvis ? What a time she must have had :) ! Besides “Happy Birthday,” I also want to say thank you for being such a wonderful nephew, and how much I appreciate all the help you give me from heaven ( especially when you ride in the car with me and keep me safe ) !! We all wish more than is humanly possible to express that you were still living here with us. However, at the same time, I believe with all my heart that you are safe and incomprehensibly happy being with God who takes care of you every day until all your family and friends can join you. Gramma Joan and Bill miss you terribly, but they know you’re really well & that Gramma Ruth and Eddie watch over you all the time. They also know you are with us when I get together for dinner with them every Sunday. You’re being there gives us such a good feeling and makes for a fun time because all our memories of you make us laugh and smile and better people for having you as part of our family. So, keep joining us, Chris. You know that extra dessert is always for you :}! By the way, in addition to Jiggs, Zena, and Topsey, I heard you have one more dog to walk up there. Bradley was quite sad that Jesus called his puppy to heaven, but he tells people that you are now taking care of the little fella for him. Gosh, you must have to walk all those pooches in shifts. Well, I’ll say good night now. And by the way, thank you for helping me get through that job interview last week……things look pretty good. Now, can you help me out with my grad school application ? :} Love you more than I can say & am sending you a zillion birthday hugs !!! Molly Molly Vaughan <MEVaughan@AOL.com> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 21:49:17 (MDT) Happy 18th birthday Chris!! I am sure you are in Heaven, with all of the other angels, celebrating this day....your special day!! Thinking of you today...as always!! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 21:25:34 (MDT) ive been thinking about you alot today chris. i stopped by your house on the way to workout and i got a picture from your mom. then this whole day i cant stop thinkin about it all. we really miss you happy 18th birthday chris we love you love woody w <w> livonia, mi USA - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 21:22:28 (MDT) Today...I am thinking of Chris...the boy he was and the man he would have been today, his 18th birthday... It makes "birthday presents" seem somewhat strange today...the "present" is the love we share on earth and after...I have to believe that Chris is receiving "birthday gifts" in heaven...those gifts being the love, messages and prayers we are sending up his way! Happy Birthday Chris and continued prayers and love to the Kempas! Ms. Hillman - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 19:54:38 (MDT) Happy 18th Birthday Chris! It is still hard for those of us left behind. We know you are in a better place, yet the emotional scars still linger. We look forward to the day when we will all be reunited in heaven. kathy - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 19:37:26 (MDT) Happy 18th Birthday sweetie! I wish you were here to celebrate this day with your friends and family. We all miss you very much and love you. I hope your happy where you at, cause thats the most important. To know that your safe and not in any pain, makes me very happy :) I love you Chris, and I will see you again someday. Dawn Balint <Rdoggo69@cs.com> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 18:53:03 (MDT) Happy 18th birthday Chris! I hope your celebrating it up in heaven just as you would of with us here on earth. I miss you and love you still and forever. Janine <Copperstars7@aol.com> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 18:43:35 (MDT) Happy Birthday friend. Missing you ALWAYS! C. - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 18:32:36 (MDT) simple and sweet::happy birthday chris Shawna B <coffeeshopgal@yahoo.com> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 18:19:41 (MDT) I've been thinking about you a lot today, and thinking about what I would have done for you...I'm not sure, but it would have been the best one yet...we always had a habit of trying to outdo eachother....and now, I can just imagine what would have happened...that breaks my heart. All my love to you. Happy 18th Birthday, I know you have been waiting for it. love always, Corinne corinne <curcusenvy2@yourmom.com> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 17:04:07 (MDT) Happy 18th Birthday Chris! What an eventful day this would and should have been for you! Two days of school left, prom has coem and gone, and graduation and summer are soon on their way. I think of you more and more as I walk by the art room and Mr. Rheault clears out his room for the summer and takes down the art. I only hope that somehow, he's found more of your artwork. What a wonderful gift to your family that would be. I pray that your family knows that you are alright in heaven celebrating this wonderufl day and looking down upon them. Happy Birthday! Colleen Marie - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 14:24:13 (MDT) Happy 18th Birthday Chris!!! I still love and miss you Chris. If I get a chance tonight, I'm going to stop by the memorial right after work. As always my thoughts and prayers go out to the Kempa family. Katie B. - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 13:55:33 (MDT) Birthday Greetings to you Chris!! Peace and Love to the Kempa Family. You remain a constant in my thoughts and prayers. Let those 18 candles light up the night tonight and Chris' Spirit fill the air. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 12:22:19 (MDT) Happy Birthday Chris!! I hope you are happpy and free DAD <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 10:55:57 (MDT) My son became an Angel, On a cool morning in two thousand. It was a pickup truck that took his life, Now we mourn him. I shall never forget that sad morning. I received a horiffic knock. From the moment I answered the door, I've lived my life in shock. It took me forever to accept what I knew I could not believe, I became a Mother going through motions, but I'll never learn how to greive. No one could teli me how to live my life, when my precious son was gone. I'd never see his smiling face again, oh the days are so hard and the nights so long. I'd never hear his beautiful laughter, or tell him how much he was loved. Now I live without my dear precious son, who lives in Heaven above. Everytime the door opens, or the phone rings I pray it's an end to this nightmare I just wish my son could come home... Spreading his love and charm everywhere! Yes, he was loved by everyone he knew no one was a stranger that he ever met, he would do anything to help others, a face of friendship he'd never forget. He had a personality to warm anyone's heart I've heard so many people say, He touched the lives of those he met in life... as he made friends all along the way. He was a special and precious son, who touched my heart in his special way, For he knows I will never be whole again.. a part of me left with him that day. And as I think of him this moment, as I do every waking day I long for that part of me To hear his voice... And hug him in a Mom's own way. But I know I will see him again when I cross over into the Promised Land And we'll have a wonderful reunion, walking together hand in hand. Author Unknown - Monday, June 10, 2002 at 10:28:27 (MDT) 6/10/02...Same BULB as yesterday. The photo was taken 6/10/87..Chris' third Birthday and first kid party. That's Colin Garland to the left, Caleb Deady in the middle and Chris....they all helped blow out the candles! Chris would have been 18 today!! I can only imagine how much taller and handsome he'd be...but I know he would! The three of us will go to the cemetary and let some balloons go...tonight I plan to light 18 candles at the Memorial...I just WISH I was running around frenzied, trying to figure out how to prepare for a Birthday, Graduation, and a joint Graduation party all at the same time!...but I know I would! Happy Birthday to my sweet 18 year old Angel son Chris whom I love and MISS SO MUCH! My vow remains the same....I will NEVER let you be forgotten and your story WILL be told!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 23:02:20 (MDT) 6/9/02..The drawing is a LARGE one, Adam W. calls BULB. The photo was taken March 16, 02...my Mother's 80th Birthday celebration. It was the first MAJOR family gathering without Chris. I was SO relieved that none of the other kids, (grandchildren) Kelly, Billy, or Joan attended,...to me, it made the absence of Chris less apparent. That's my, (front row, left to right), brother Bill, sister Kathy...both of whom have had recent Birthdays...my Mom ...the Birthday girl, and my sister, Molly. In the back row is me and my Dad. Fran Kempa - Sunday, June 09, 2002 at 00:31:52 (MDT) ........Being a survivor is about a battle..a battle to recreate your life without him...It's a battle that rages EVERY day, for the rest of your life....... Anon. - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 15:32:33 (MDT) Cousin Bradley's puppy ran into the road and was run over yesterday.....4 year old Bradley's only comfort is that his Momma and Bamma told him that the puppy is in heaven with his cousin Chris. He told his pre-K friends that his cousin is in heaven and will now be taking care of the puppy. Kathy - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 08:33:32 (MDT) 6/8/02...Same DENIRO as yesterday. The photo is another taken on 1/5/93, Adam's 13th Birthday. That's Rich Greene in the purple shirt, Brad Sandulovich in the navy cap, and Ryan Allen in the purple / aqua cap....all of whom I'm happy to say, Adam is still very close to. That's Adam, Chris, and my arm and hand...we were all very consumed with Adam opening his presents!! I am VERY happy for Dorthy Moxley. Her verdict proves justice delayed is not justice denied.....and after all this nonsense...I still have a glimmer of faith in the system....a VERY fractured and flawed glimmer. Fran Kempa <Notfranny@aol.com> - Saturday, June 08, 2002 at 00:07:43 (MDT) 6/7/02....The drawing is called DENIRO by Adam. Once again, the detail is much better in person. The photo was taken on Jan. 5th 1993, Adam's 13th Birthday. Day after Prom...I'm sure he'd still be asleep right now and I'd have to wait to hear all the details! Happy Birthday to my sister Kathy! Fran Kempa - Friday, June 07, 2002 at 09:40:46 (MDT) 6/6/02...Same drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken by Chris at Homecoming 2000, about 6 weeks before he was killed. The girl to the left is the girl he met there. I believe her name is Tania. Since he won't be going to Prom tonight, I thought I'd put up some photos from his last formal Franklin dance. Last night was our Compassionate Friends meeting. We sat at a table with many people we'd never met before...from every City in the area. Plymouth, Northville, Redford, Canton, Garden City and Dearborn Heights. The causes of death varied, two car accidents, two pedestrian deaths, two drug overdoses, one suicide, one a brain tumor and one from Lorenzo's Oil disease as his Dad called it. What was very apparent, no matter what the cause, illness or accident, EVERY parent carries their own guilt. In my case it will FOREVER be, WHY didn't I drive him that morning?? The Mother of the boy with the brain tumor feels guilty for not recognizing the symptoms at first, then wonders if the chosen treatment was right. The Mother of one of the boys who died from a drug overdose feels guilty because she didn't look in on him before she went to work...and on and on...I also feel guilty for not seeing it coming...even though I know no one did or could....RIGHT before Chris was killed....about a week, we both decided we liked the new Marc Anthony song, YOU SANG TO ME... a lot! I was sworn to secrecy..thouht his friends would make fun! The first time I heard it after he was killed, and everytime I've heard it since, the chorus...."All the while you were in front of me I never realized, I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes...I didn't see it, I Can't believe it, oh .....BUT I FEEL IT! HAUNTS ME....WHY didn't I see it coming?? I know it sounds crazy, but it's true...that's how I feel....we were SO CLOSE!!...I should have sensed it! Tonight would have been....is Senior Prom!! I don't have to imagine how excited he'd be...I KNOW how excited he would have been...that was the way he was, enjoyed everything to the fullest, and savored every moment!! Chris loved to dance. When break dancing first came out he was about five. He LOVED to make up his own moves! When he was in Third grade I think, he took a modern dance class through Livonia Schools Community Ed. Andrew Shinsky and Caleb were also in the class....but I bet they'd never admit it now! So I know he'd have had THE BEST time tonight. I just wish we could all be experiencing it....and YES, I DO feel cheated...I will for the rest of my life. Fran Kempa - Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 13:59:51 (MDT) I was having a really bad day about a week ago. Too much to do and not enough time to do it. I was in a store and couldn't find what I was looking for and all of a sudden, the Ben Folds song that was in the video that was at the funeral home came on and I was able to find what I needed. I stood there for a minute and my eyes filled with tears. And then I started to smile...I know that it was Chris, helping me out and reminding me that he was still here. Thank you Chris. Missing you, Michele Michele - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 20:23:08 (MDT) that is a cute pic of chris in the randon photo. I hope the memory stays alive for as long as it can. And thank you for the scholorship. Although I wasn't the one who got it, it means so much to those who really do need it. Again thank you Kempa's Cindy Swarthout <littlesiscid@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 16:49:41 (MDT) 6/5/02....The art is a drawing Chris did of a girl in one of his art classes...unfortunatly, I don't remember who that was. The photo was taken the day after Homecoming, Oct. 1999. Chris had brouht some balloons home and given them to Charlie...Charlie loves balloons! Chris took the photo himself. As most of you know, Mon. June 10th, would have been...IS Chris' 18th Birthday. Many of his friends have asked me if I'm planning anything this year. While I'm not planning anything formal this year for this landmark Birthday, I ask all of those who knew and loved Chris to remember him in any way you feel comfortable Monday. Whether that would be leaving a message here in the guesrbook, visiting the Memorial or the cemetary, or just taking a few minutes that day to think of him...anything would be appreciated by both Chris and me! What I'd REALLY like is for all who are able to, attend the Benefit show at Wilson Barn, Sat. July 6th....doors, 5:30, bands start at 6:00. Once again, all proceeds go to The Chris Kempa Memorial Scholarship Fund. Some GREAT bands will be performing...it should be a great show again this year!....That would be wonderful way to honor Chris!! I was happy and sad at the same time to find Moriah at the Cemetary yesterday. Happy to know she loved him enough to go there, but it made such a sad sight as I pulled away and left her there...this YOUNG girl at the grave of her FOREVER young friend...SO sad. Before I went to the Cemetary yesterday, I dropped off some pictures of Chris for the yearbook. Sunshine Weber had requested two pictures, one of him drawing..for CLASS PICASSO and just a good picture of him for MOST UNFORGETTABLE SENIOR. I chose the one Jenny Gervasi took in Chicago on Nov. 9th 2000, just 11 days before he was killed. As it turns out, with the Memorial page, Chris may have more pictures in his Senior yearbook in death, than he would have in life. ....The day before Prom!! I can just IMAGINE the energy and excitement spewing from Chris right now if his was alive.... HAVE to get EVERYTHING finalized...Talking to Scott, Caleb and Cori...trying on that tux ONE MORE time, reminding me to pick up the flowers tomorrow, making sure we had film....and knowing Scott and Chris, a limo would be in order!...But instead, we'll attend our Compassionate Friends meeting...another meeting of the dead kids club... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 14:47:27 (MDT) Dear mrs.Kempa Hello I do have some Chris's art work. Its a picture he took freashman year at Larry's Foodland when we worked together. I will try to call you and see how you want to get it so you can put it on this site. or if you want to call me my Number is (734) 367-0331 cindy Swarthout <littlesiscid@yahoo.com> - Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:48:05 (MDT) 6/4/02...Same APE as yesterday. The photo was taken on March 16, 2002 during my Mother's 80th Birthday party at my sister Molly's house. The conversation had somehow managed to switch to Chris and someone said, "Chris, if you're with us, give us a sign!" I can't remember who said it...I know it wasn't me. After awhile, we noticed that one of the four candles had burned in the PERFECT SHAPE of an Angel wing! It was the candle closest to my Mother! I believe!...I HAVE to! Fran Kempa - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 22:09:15 (MDT) I haven't written in a while, to tell the truth, for a while, it was too hard for me to come and read the page. But tonight, I managed to read all the entries that I've missed, and I remembered a lot of fun times that we had. I realized that I have been thinking of you so much lately, and wondering what things would have been like. I think that my life is a little less full now that youre not here, and there will always be a hole where you could been, alive. And now, there is this huge spot, where I try to preserve everything that I can remember, not wanted to forget anything. I always think about you when I'm having a bad day, we used to talk then. And you made sure that you'd stay with me until I felt better. I realized what a fantastic best friends that I have, again tonight. And I think that you taught me what a real friend is, never judging, always there (even when they don't want to be), and always forgiving...and so many more things. you taught me that. thank you. Corinne <curcusenvy2@yourmom.com> - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 20:55:37 (MDT) 6/3/02....The painting is called APE by Adam. His paintings weren't my favorites but this is one of my favorite paintings. The photo was taken in Dec., 1986 at our parish Christmas party. For some reason Chris DID NOT like this Santa...he was fine with the one at the mall! We got a new computer today! Adam and Adam are VERY happy....I am very sad. To me it's just one more Chris remnant that is gone...the computer that he made all those wonderful graphics, animations, and sound effects gone from the place where he made them. They say we'll still use the old computer in a different location...but it's NOT the same! Had to get a new one because we were running out of memory they tell me...One thing that makes me feel a little better is the knowledge that if Chris was still here we would have had to get a new one long ago....At the rate he was turning out creations it would have been a necessity. Fran Kempa - Monday, June 03, 2002 at 18:55:31 (MDT) The truth will come out. Dad <<<<<>>>>> - Sunday, June 02, 2002 at 11:10:22 (MDT) 6/2/02....Adam hasn't preprogramed the page for the month of June yet so it changed randomly..I know he'll have something new up tomorrow. Work on our new room...Chris' gallery continues to progress. The installation of the entry way railing system began yesterday...As with every project undertaken so far, it will take much longer than anticipated...I thought it would be FINISHED Saturday. Yesterday was also a day Chris LOVED...the Olde Rosedale Gardens neighborhood garage sale! I can't believe this is the SECOND one he's missed. Claudia and I scanned some preview sales on Fri. night but didn't buy anything. She reminded me that it was also the anniversary of finding their WONDERFUL dog, Dusty. Maybe four years ago or more...we couldn't remember exactly...this most beautiful, sweet, loving, WELL TRAINED Cocker Spaniel found his way into their yard. I remember Chris DASHING home telling me, "The Allen's found a dog and I HAVE to bring him a toy!!" as he rummaged through Charlie's toys and chose a ball to bring back to their house. I was skeptical as usual and said, "What do you mean, they FOUND a dog?" And he replied, "Honest Mom, they found a dog and he knows a lot of tricks!" Before I knew it, I was sucked in, going with Chris back to their house. I remember VIVIDLY, sitting on their front lawn playing with the dog...Scott, Brad, Claudia, Chris and I. As hard as they tried to find the owner, they were unsuccessful...and are they ever HAPPY!! Dusty has been a WONDERFUL addition to their family....just like Charlie, a sweet heart dog!...Claudia told me they still have the ball Chris brought over that afternoon...he gave Dusty his first toy as an Allen! Fran Kempa - Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 23:00:53 (MDT) 6/1/02...The "ART" is a picture of the certificate presented to Sarah Sikora during Honors Night, Thursday, May 30th. The photo was taken the same night after the ceremony. That's Mrs. Betty Jo Welch, Art Department Chair, and Sarah Sikora. Once again, congratulations to Sarah. We wish her the BEST of luck in her future art endeavors, and may the sky be her limit!! I know Chris and her Grandma are looking down and are VERY proud!! Fran Kempa - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 22:16:22 (MDT) With each passing year, my grief is absorbed deeper inside of me. It's not something strangers can readily see anymore. it's not an excuse for friends to avoid the topic. It doesn't bring sympathy...it's in me, but it's part of me, unrecognizable. If I didn't tell you, you'd never know. My body has adjusted to the extra weight, and my mind has learned to acknowledge it but not give in to it. Seven years.... ten years.... thirty years...We know we're functioning and smiling and making new memories. We may feel guilty when we catch ourselves lingering a little less in front of our lost loved one's photograph. We make commitments to renew our attention to the memory. We remember our siblings while we talk to people over lunch, but we pretend to be listening. The feelings go through us like a rush, but it doesn't happen as often as it used to. And no one knows. Has anyone made sense of it yet?? I never knew my mind could be dominated by a single thought every day for years and still not get in the way of the progress of my life. The hands on the clock continue to turn, and the sun rises every morning. I'm thinking, "I wish Chris was here," and I'm thinking it CONSTANTLY. Even though the grief is not on the surface, the missing is as strong as it ever was. We can't explain it, but we want to share it. We might not break down, but the strength of the grief never fades. We just keep on living with it and do the best we are able to do.....I MISS my brother!! Scott Mastley <TCF Atlanta> - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 22:01:43 (MDT) now, he's an EXCEPTIONAL ANGEL!!!!! XOXOXO - Friday, May 31, 2002 at 18:28:23 (MDT) The guestbook was getting pretty big, so I archived all the old entries and started up another one. Thanks! adam <adam@kempa.com> - Friday, May 35, 2002 at 00:00:00 (MDT)