4/30/03...Same RAINEYE art and 1995 beach pic as yesterday. On Easter Sunday, a former coworker came to the facility to visit and conduct a church activity on a voluntary basis. Before Chris was killed, I had had a decent working relationship with her and her department....activities... On Easter, she told me that sometimes, when she closes her eyes, she still sees the expression on my face as I walked out of the church on 11/25/00 after Chris' funeral.. with an Adam on each side holding me up...she said it wasn't a pretty picture and one that haunts her to this day. I told her I think my situation still haunts her because she has two boys just like me and it scares her to think what COULD happen....She agreed...... Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 22:48:12 (MDT) The "Raineye" art is currently owned by Paula Smykla. joe.cwik - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 08:26:29 (MDT) 4/29/03...The art we call RAINEYE. It's another we never knew existed until after Chris was killed. He had given it to one of his friends and they were kind enough to let us take a picture of it for the site...unfortunatly, I don't remember which friend. The photo is the last of the newly discovered beach pics from 1995...Chris and his beloved Sunkist kayak! I love this time of year...you don't need heat, you don't need air, you can just open the windows and feel that wonderful breeze and smell the spring air chasing out all the staleness of winter. When I came home from work Monday, I went up into our new family room...the room Chris never knew but had SO many plans for!...I opened the door wall and windows and sat on the couch, enjoying the breeze...soon, there was a beagle next to me. I put my arm around him and without thinking said, "Isn't this heavenly?" And then I thought ...heaven has got to be much more than this,...Chris is up there! Another exerpt from my current grief book, page 75... ....I don't remember much of that first year after his death. I didn't feel part of the human race. It was like I was on the outside looking in on it. My heart physically hurt. I felt like I had a hole in my soul. For the first six months I would open my eyes in the morning, so disappointed I was still alive. The pain was so deep I did not want to live, even though my daughter, two years younger, needed me. Most nights I could not sleep. I kept replaying everything that had happened, the pain, the agony, the vision of what they looked like afterwards.... Fran Kempa - Monday, April 28, 2003 at 22:41:18 (MDT) 4/28/03...The art and the photo are the same as yesterday. Another excerpt from my current grief book, page 72.. ...In The Compassionate Friends she has found understanding, friendship and support from other bereaved parents. There she has learned that feeling such acute pain, helplessness and "what ifs" are not unusual for most families. They are the norm... Fran Kempa - Monday, April 28, 2003 at 15:39:29 (MDT) 4/27/03...The art is one we found long after Chris was killed. It's one of the ones he threw out the night of 11/19/00. We found it along with others in the garbage bag we saved and had the strength to go through in March, 2001. The photo was taken on April 13th 2001 in Grand Rapids during one of the benefit shows for the Chris Art Scholarship. This one was totally organized by Cyndi Lareau pictured on the right. Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE. Page 71... ...Grief can be so disabling, it can take years to get the courage to even face the possibility that you will survive. You have lost part of yourself; you have lost your future. When your child is torn from you, you change. You find a way to live your life without your child as Maxine did, yet you want to feel the child in everything you do. So you reassemble a world in which you can live... Fran Kempa - Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 13:49:38 (MDT) please would you send me some pictures of Eve martina bwalya <marhtinez04@yahoo.com> - Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 10:04:40 (MDT) 4/26/03...Same POOPIE art and Franklin art department photo as yesterday. WE raked the pool yard today. That was very depressing. A yard that was once so beautiful and full of almost every type of flower imaginable and so full of FUN, reeling from two years of neglect. Some day maybe, we'll bring it back, but I wonder. Forrest Gump was on TV tonight, I couldn't watch it. Chris LOVED that movie. It was one of many we saw together as a family. For a long time afterward, Chris would talk like Forrest. He did a good job! I was so happy to see Chris' memorial tree in Mies Park has many buds on it! We were worried last year about it getting enough water but it obviously did. Tomorrow I want to take pansies to the Memorial and visit the Cemetary. Soon it will be time to chose the THIRD recipient of the Chris Kempa Memorial Art Scholarship and the third annual Chris Fest will be rolling around! It's so hard to believe! While Chris is on our mind and his memory part of our discussions several times a day, HE'S NOT here! When I said the other day it seemed like a minute ago, I was referring to his death.....his life seems forever ago....SO many things are getting harder, and harder to remember and that's very sad. Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 19:52:08 (MDT) 4/25/03...The art is one of the many whimsical drawings Chris did on his school papers. We call this one POOPIE because of the T shirt...No clue as to when or why he drew POOPIE. The photo was taken in Sophomore year, August,1999, to June of 2000. It shows Chris in the back right, hard at work on a drawing or some "project" in the Franklin art department. That's Paul Grabowski in the front...I have no idea who the girl in white is. Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE by Sandy Fox. While there is SO much more to this book than the excerpts I put here, I am only putting the ones that ring true...that hit home so hard I could have written them myself..this one from page 69, the chapter titiled MATTHEW.... "I don't recall in detail how I got through those initial years of grief. I do know that it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Many people comment that at least we all had each other. But we didn't. Each of us was grieving separately, not as a family unit. This is to be expected, since each of us is different and each of us had our own unique relationship with Matt. I was paralyzed by my own grief, oblivious to my family's needs... " Fran Kempa - Friday, April 25, 2003 at 16:41:35 (MDT) Office Depot, Delray Beach, United States 24 April <18;10> - Thursday, April 24, 2003 at 18:00:57 (MDT) WOW!!!!!!!I'mcool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THEEND Desiree <-----------------------------------------------------------------------> -----------------------, ----------------------- Canada - Thursday, April 24, 2003 at 16:09:56 (MDT) 4/24/03...Same computer animation art..PIKA, and recently discovered beach pic from 1995. This afternoon while at work, one of our former nurses contacted me. We had worked together on and off for a few years, then in about 1998, she decided to retire, to concentrate on her three children. The last time I saw and spoke to her was one of the days of Chris' wake. She and her husband remembered and came...like SO many. She may be interested in returning to work, which would be such a plus for us! During our conversation, she asked how I was doing in a couple different ways. She then said something like, "I think about you often and wonder how you're doing it ....because I NEVER could." I told her that's how I used to feel prior to 11/20/00...."If one of my kids died...so would I." But I found I did go on..I "function"..Nothing even close to how I felt and lived before Chris was killed. I told her that to most people, it's been almost two and a half YEARS, but to me it seems like a minute ago..like yesterday. Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING Good-BYE by Sandy Fox, page 68, under OTHER PARENTS' STORIES, MATTHEW... ... In the years before Matthew died, whenever I heard about a child that had died, my heart ached for his or her parents. I could never imagine how any individual could go on living after such a tragedy. I just knew from deep within my being, that nothing could be worse than this. Yet, until I had to endure it myself, I never realized the depth of this pain. When Matthew first died, I just didn't know how I would be able to go on living. But I did. And I've continued to live. It's not the same living as before his death, but I am alive and I do function in what I describe as an altered state... Fran Kempa - Thursday, April 24, 2003 at 16:05:59 (MDT) Today's picture shows one of our water activities at the cottage. I believe the game being played was called "Sink the Deady" The "Deady" was always our neighbor Bill Deady. The game was simple, tip over the boat that Mr. Deady occupied. It was great fun and became a tradition. In the picture you can see Adam William stalking Mr. Deady with Chris close behind in the orange "Sunkist" boat. Good days in the past. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 15:19:27 (MDT) 4/23/03...The art is one of Chris' first computer animations. He called him PIKA. He made him on 11/12/98. The photo is another recent find from 1995. It depicts a ritual that took place every year we were at the beach. That's Bill Deady, Adam and Chris. Every year we went, the Deady's were at their Grandma's cottage just two doors down the same week. I don't even remember how it started. The first year we were there, Mr. Deady challanged the boys to a boat race...to even the field, he he didn't use any oars, just his arms...and he won every time! There were many crys for a "rematch!"... and many were held during the week but he always won! After the first year it became a tradition...had to have that race with Mr. Deady! Caleb and Michael Deady participated as well. Fun, fun times! The ducks were swimming in the pool cover this morning when I let the dogs out. Chris loved that! Speck quickly chased them away. Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE that really hit home. On page 41.. ...Since Marcy's death I have a harder time focusing on tasks. I can't concentrate for a long period of time. Something happened to me in the process of her death.... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 15:02:26 (MDT) Mrs. Kempa, It's VERY possible that robin was Chris! You seem so unsure now. I have been a viewer since the wonderful start. During the first year after Chris' death, you seemed open and very much available to the signs. I think the robin WAS one. I'm sad you didn't get it. Mary Saia <Westland> - Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 22:24:29 (MDT) 4/22/03...Same front of a note to Jen Gossett from 1998, same beautiful beach pic from 1995. This afternoon as I folded laundy, a robin landed on a fence post a few feet away from the laundry room window and just stared at me. He then flew into the pine tree in front of the window so all that seperated us was the glass and he continued staring. At first I thought that was odd behavior for a bird. Then, for a brief moment, I found myself wondering if that was Chris coming to say hello! ...And a moment later thinking, "You're hoping this is your child....coming to you in the form of a ROBIN to say hello!...how pathetic!" But it did make me feel good for a brief second! Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE. From page 40, chapter 6 titled, Personal Thoughts From Marcy's Father, Jess. I couldn't cry. It wasn't real. For two days I was just numb. I functioned, made all the funeral arrangements, was doing what I needed to do next, but all while in a stupor. It was not until I went to Marcy's old apartment where all her friends had gathered two days later and put my arms around Lynn, her best friend, did the release come. Then I cried and cried. Still today, when alone in my car driving or talking to anyone who knew her, my eyes fill with tears.... Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 16:33:34 (MDT) 4/21/03..The "art" is the last remaining Jen Gossett recently discovered remnant of Chris. In her Email, she described it like this,..... "The "Chris" with the smiley face was on the front of the note. It was kinda funny, he wrote the note to me but put his name on the front, where usually the sender would have put the name of the recipient, I thought it was cool! :)." The photo is another of our recently developed beach pics from we believe, 1995....Chris and Caleb Deady, searching the beach for rocks and shells. I wish the pictures on the computer could capture the VASTNESS of Lake Huron as the photos in person do....we had the WHOLE lake to ourselves!....it wasn't like a metropark beach....where you were all strangers jammed together..it was a GREAT LAKE...and we had it, and all the awesomeness of it to ourselves!...Chris LOVED it! We had a "nice" Easter this year without Chris....I won't go so far as to say good or happy...."Nice.".... I worked from 6:30 til 3. Besides my many routine work chores, I helped a lot of elderly people enjoy their Easter as well, and that felt good. When I came home I called my parents and sister....Things are looking up for Molly I'm happy to say and she credits Chris with much of that! My mother brought Chris up in conversation before I did. She stated at one point, "Not only was he a person, but he was a PERSONALITY....one that I MISS so much!".... Which made me go back in time and remember what one of our next door neighbors said about Chris shortly after he was killed...."We had this JEWEL living right next door, and we never even knew it!" Which made me think, but not express at the time, "You didn't have a jewel....you had a TREASURE!!" In spite of my parent's ages and definate, acknowledged, bouts with memory problems, both recalled how Easter of 2000 was one of the last times they "experienced" Chris, and how IMPRESSED they were as a result!! We enjoyed a wonderful dinner with our dear friends, Brad and Claudia. I tried to express to them... and I hope they knew, ideally, I would have much preferred to be home, having Easter dinner with my CHILDREN....but since that was IMPOSSIBLE,....I was SO happy for the invitation, the company, and all the warm feelings we experienced as a result....Good food, good friends, good music and conversation!....a MUCH better result had we sat home alone...Adam and Sarah joined us later in the evening....Chris would have LOVED Sarah, and I have NO doubt, Sarah would have LOVED Chris! Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE by Sandy Fox.....this one from page 39 under the heading, MY PRAYER.... "I now know what real tragedy is. I understand the unbearable pain and that it will always be with me. I understand how people react to you and your pain. I am comforted from those who remember Marcy each day, each month, each year....friends of mine, friends of Marcy's. They are not afraid to mention her name. I have made them feel comfortable knowing I want them to always be a part of my life. Notes, letters and thoughts are always appreciated from those far away, and I answer all of them......I know now it's okay to laugh when I feel it's appropriate, amd cry whenever appropriate. I no longer feel as though I'm betraying Marcy's memory when I have a good day full of laughter, shared with friends and family. In the shadow of my loss, I know I am not alone in my pain. This gives me the strength and courage to forge ahead..... Fran Kempa - Monday, April 21, 2003 at 17:38:48 (MDT) Happy Easter Chris. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, April 19, 2003 at 21:25:55 (MDT) 4/19/03...We call this drawing ORANGE. I believe it was another one done on a school paper. The photo was taken in September, 1993 fourth grade. As I walked into work this morning I noticed what I thought to be a clump of mud in my path. As I walked around it, it hopped! It was a frog. I couldn't imagine how it got there but it made me think of Chris and how much he loved frogs. In 1995 and 1996 he was VERY interested in putting a pond in the pool yard so he could attract frogs.. but we never did. A pond wasn't high on our priority list then. And when the next summer rolled around, it wasn't high on his either. The following is an excerpt from page 32 of the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE under the heading, HOLIDAYS... Holidays are a very difficult time, especially Thanksgiving. It was the last holiday that we were all together as a family and when that time of year comes around, invitations come our way. We go, because not to go is to acknowledge our grief, and I want my grief to be private now. Stories about marriages, laughter at someone who recently divorced or won an honor, all abound at the dinner table from from relatives and the children. But my mind is not there. My mind focuses on how Marcy can't enjoy this, how she would love to be here chatting with her cousins and their children, telling her own stories about successes or failures she has had.....I want to talk about her, and I want them to talk about her. She will always be alive to me, and I want to keep her memory alive for others. They are all afraid though. I explain, to the relief of most friends and relatives, how important it is for me to have them talk about her. She will always be a part of my life, and if I can only enjoy the memories, I will at least have that. They breathe a sigh of relief and the once tense atmosphere is now clear... Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 19, 2003 at 15:09:00 (MDT) Thinking of you all this Easter season.....as we do every day. Much love, Jo, Bill and Billy JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> USA - Saturday, April 19, 2003 at 12:50:35 (MDT) Miss you always.... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, April 19, 2003 at 09:13:28 (MDT) happy easter chris i still mis you and will never forget you Chris knows who - Friday, April 18, 2003 at 22:22:36 (MDT) How many times have I woke on an Easter morning and smiled, knowing that the baskets were all set, the eggs dyed and new clothes were waiting? How many times have I watched with joy as the little hands reached for chocolate bunnies and jellybeans? The joy of those mornings will forever be etched in memory, sitting, waiting for a time to be brought to remembrance. The children are grown now, except one, who is forever frozen in time. The egg dye has been put away, the baskets hid in the attic with all the other keepable things from holidays and special events. The children now have children and they go on their way in life, except one, who is forever frozen in time. The new clothes to be worn are now packed away in storage boxes filled with moth balls, hoping to be kept forever, never to be worn by one gone from my sight. The waking hours of that Easter morn are didderent now. No longer do I lie in my bed and wait for those sounds of joy and laughter coming down the hall. The children are all grown now, except one, and she is gone from me. She was too old for childish things, stuffed bunnies and jellybeans, yet too young to give it all up. "Just one more year Mama, let me hold on to my youth and enjoy the wonders of that day", she said. Just one more year. Now she is gone, forever frozen in time, and her memory is engraved in my mind. "Just one more time".... In Memory of Ashley 1/31/78 10/22/96 <Barbara Stockwell TCF Snellville, Ga.> - Friday, April 18, 2003 at 15:30:05 (MDT) 4/17/03...The Einstein drawing was done in October 2000. It's the one he did at my request because he was so deep into computer animation at the time.... Another altered eye. The photo is another recent discovery from 1995. Adam, Scott and Chris on the beach. It's hard to believe this will be our third Easter with out Chris. While all of the holidays are hard for their own reasons, Easter will always be in my mind the last major holiday we spent as a family. I'm working again this year for the fourth year in a row...I only regret working in 2000..if only I'd known it was his last. I did the baskets and bunnies and they had to hunt for them..I have those memories of these two big boys both over 6 feet tall, competing for their baskets! It was very comical! I know I would repeat the tradition Sunday if Chris was still here, but the tradition ended when Chris did. Having Adam and Chris do it together was what it was all about. I did buy some Rescee peanut butter eggs though but there will be no baskets or bunnies. Another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOBYE page 29..... "I have always held the philosophy that everything has a reason for happening and in many circumstances it has kept me going after a sickness, a death, an accident. But this...this child's death, could not possibly have a reason. Is God that cruel that he takes from us the thing we love the most at the worst time, in the worst way? This can't be happening. This happens to other people, not me. I know my broken heart will never heal, but that I am a survivor and to my surprise at times, can endure most anything. The worst has already happened. Nothing can ever be as bad." Fran Kempa - Thursday, April 17, 2003 at 17:46:05 (MDT) 4/16/03...Same Jen Gossett drawing and cottage pic as yesterday. I worked with Connie today. I hadn't seen her for a few weeks. We talked for a long time. She's dealing with the roller coaster of emotions right now, exactly two months after her son's death. I told her that the length of time in between will become longer, but after almost two and a half years, I still have some HORRIBLE Chris days and I don't see that ever changing. She told me she was starting to forget her son's voice and I said sadly, that was the first thing I forgot and I was so surprised at how quickly that happened. She said one day soon she was going to take all of her videos of her son, lock the door, and just watch them for hours...as hard as that would be, she has a need at this point to see him alive again. I told her I have that need too, but most unfortunatly, we have very few videos of Chris...she is VERY lucky! She told me she is writing in a journal every day and I told her that was very helpful....I don't know if she knows about this web page, but I didn't ask her today. Yesterday's mail contained our invitation to the College for Creative Studies student exhibition opening Fri. May 16th.... That drew a very HEAVY Chris sigh...It made me wonder not only if his dream and goal would have been realized...he'd be a student there this year, but if his works would have been exhibited. Once again, since I get to finish his life for him, I have no doubt in my heart he would have been there and if he was good enough to be exhibited as a summer student in 2000, he WOULD have been exhibited this year....another of many things that comes under the heading of LONGING for the should have beens... The following is another excerpt from the book I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox. Page 29, still under the heading, A DIFFERENT LIFE ..."It is a feeling no one who has not gone through this could possibly ever understand. Others can empathize with you, but they do not, nor ever could, understand the feelings you have suffered and will always suffer for the rest of your life. The pain subsides with time. It gets a little better as the years go on, but it never goes away completely. You are always left with an emptiness in your heart and mind of what could have been, what should have been...... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 16, 2003 at 15:59:03 (MDT) Miss you always... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 23:03:04 (MDT) Happy Birthday Speck! WOOF - Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 22:07:14 (MDT) A YEAR OF GRIEF It has been a year since you went away. Time goes by so slowly. I never knew so much pain, along with fear and emptiness, could be felt by anyone. Your death has sent me into a darkness and void that words can't describe. I never knew I could cry 'til there were no more tears, but these came unannounced. The price of loving a brother as special as you will take me a lifetime to pay. My pain hasn't been for me only, for friends don't want to see the cost of loving and losing. They say, get on with your life, but they don't understand how a big part of my life you were. So I will take my pain, along with my special memories, and live day by day. These memories from happier days are all I have of you now. So I will place them first in my heart. If I was given a choice, knowing the pain and devastation that I feel today, I would still want you to be my brother to love...for memories can't be taken away... Greta Sharpe <TCF, Andafusia, Al.> - Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 16:44:38 (MDT) 4/15/03...The art is one of the recently discovered Jen Gossett finds! In her E mail, she summed it up this way,.."The drawing of the hand and wrist with a wrist watch holding up a person on the sidewalk under a big umbrella is one he did for me when I went to visit him on one of his breaks at Foodland. I was having a bad day so he took my notebook and drew this for me. He admitted that it was his wrist and hand holding me up. I think John Bailey was with us at the time. Chris helped me through a lot of hard times and is a big part of who I am today. Thank you for sharing him with me. God bless and I hope these help Chris to be remembered as the awesome guy he was." :)'s jEn GossEtt! The photo is another newly developed from 1995 beach pic. Both boys are readying their boats for some SERIOUS sailing! I can tell because they both have on their jackets. If they stayed within a few feet of the shore and my rescue, they didn't need them...an inch further and they couldn't move until they were on! Fran Kempa - Monday, April 14, 2003 at 22:36:32 (MDT) I rad your message in the compassionate friends, and was curious about the web site. It's a lovely memorial. My son was killed in a car accident on Nov7th 01. He was 21 and an American living in Australia. His nick name was CAL ( he was from California). I look in the TCF just to see what people are writing. He was my one and only and myn heart is totally broken. I know and feel your pain. judy gillon <judygillon@yahoo.com.> - Monday, April 14, 2003 at 22:26:35 (MDT) 4/14/03...Same John Lennon and beach pic as yesterday. This weekend we started our outdoor spring clean up, washed some windows and raked part of the yards. I couldn't help remember all the years we did it together, usually the three of us, me and the boys. They always grumbled about the spring raking more than the fall. I think in the fall they could see the abundance of leaves and realized it had to be done but in the spring the question always was, "Why do we have to do this again...we just did it in the fall!" I always replied, "it's good for the lawn." As a result, Adam decided he wasn't going to have ANY grass and Chris decided he'd have grass...but have someone else take care of it...and so it went, grumbling while reluctantly raking, but they ALWAYS helped me. I couldn't help wonder if Chris would have helped me this year...I kind of doubt it! I took the poinsetta off the porch Sat...that NEVER would have stayed out there this long before 11/20/00... But I just don't care about that anymore. It was pink, it added color to the porch so it stayed. Sat evening I put my Easter greeting card in the frame in the downstairs bathroom and told Adam, "there, now you can't say we're not decorated!" Speck will be two on Wed.! The time is speeding by. We will have a party for him! The following is an excerpt from page 28 of the book I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox. The first paragraph under the heading, A DIFFERENT LIFE When your child dies, you change. The person you were before is gone. The life you had before is no longer possible. You rebuild, with different expectations, with different responses. You learn to have fun again, albeit, in a different way. You learn it is Okay to grieve whenever and whereever you want and not feel ashamed of your feelings. You know your heart will ALWAYS be broken, but you are a survivor....for now anyway. Fran Kempa - Monday, April 14, 2003 at 15:40:54 (MDT) 4/13/03...The painting is one we call LENNON. It is one of three works Chris did of John Lennon using three diferent mediums...He LOVED John Lennon! The photo is another recently discovered beach pic. By the time we sat down for dinner Sat. night, just the two of us...at about 7:45, I realized and commented to Adam that we hadn't received one phone call all day! He replied something like, "do you really mind?" And I said no...it just made me think back to before Adam had a cell phone and when Chris was still alive....the phone seemed to ring every minute! For some reason, it struck me as strange....which made me focus on the phone. We purchased the kitchen phone a few months before Chris was killed. Even it's technology is way above my head so we had Adam W. program it for us. Mail box 1 is Adam F. and me, mail box 2 is Adam W. and mail box 3 was Chris. When I looked up at the phone tonight, red lights were/are lit up for #1 and 2 to indicate saved messages...but not for mail box 3...and when I pressed it, the little computer voice said, "Mail box 3, you have no messages"...which is true. The following is another excerpt I can relate to from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox..."God," I would say to myself, "Am I lucky. What did I ever do to deserve such a great kid?" I anguished with other mothers as their kids ran away from home, stayed out all night or shoplifted from the local Walgreens. But it was hard for me to relate to their problems. Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 22:55:48 (MDT) When someone you love becomes a memory, their memory becomes your treasure. XOXO - Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 15:12:01 (MDT) 4/12/03...The art is the same FACE and the photo is the same beach picture from yesterday. Last night a group of kids gathered at our house before going out together...Scott was among them. I couldn't help wishing Chris was still here...I wonder if he did too. It must be a very strange feeling for him to be in the house of one of his best friends, a house he's been in hundreds of times...but his friend isn't here any more, and hasn't been since 11/20/00.. Fran Kempa - Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 09:29:30 (MDT) My tears feel warm on my cheeks now.....not burning hot. Is this a sign I'm "Getting Better?"When I cry now I am most often alone...in the car, or in the shower, or sometimes taking a walk. I do not cry in public or feel as much panic... Is this a sign I'm "Getting Better?" I sleep the night through sometimes ...and awaken without tears...for a while... They come now while I'm brushing my teeth...or making Coffee... And always gone before I say, "GOOD MORNING!" Is this a sign I'm "Getting Better?" I am able to hug again... And laugh and read and eat... Is this a sign I'm "Getting Better?" Yes, I think so...but when does the pain end? Perhaps when I no longer ask.. Is this a sign I'm "Getting Better?" Getting Better? <Shirley Blakely Carrie TCF, Little Rock, Ar.> - Friday, April 11, 2003 at 17:03:01 (MDT) I enjoyed the picture today... A photo of much better times... Miss you always..... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, April 11, 2003 at 14:21:22 (MDT) 4/11/03..The art is a very interesting one we call FACE...No clue to the story behind it. The photo is another recently developed beach pic from we beliive, 1995. Adam in his boat and Chris in his SUNKIST kayak that he loved SO much! Every summer for years, when he wasn't using it at the beach, he was using it in the pool! The following is another passage from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox, this is from the Prologue...."And then from the depth of my soul a scream so guttural, more like an animal that had been caught for the kill, worked it's way to the top and exploded from my mouth over and over again." I can SO relae to this statement. Almost from the moment I was told Chris was dead....for a long time after, I began experiencing an uncontrolled sigh, followed by a noise I had never made before or have made since....I often referred to it as my "animal noises" I think Sandy describes it best, "Guttural" In some ways, shortly after Chris was killed, his death became an exercise in SCREAMING! I screamed often while driving the car and often while standing in front of the fireplace. I honestly don't think I had ever screamed like that before ...but it helped....To this day, once in a while while driving.....I SCREAM! Fran Kempa - Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 22:30:16 (MDT) I need some practice questions for nursing Janice Westmorland <Pru366@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, April 09, 2003 at 15:52:05 (MDT) We Remember Them In the rising of the sun and in it's going down, We remember them; In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, We remember them; In the opening of buds and in the warmth of summer, We remember them; In the rustling of leaves and the beauty of autumn, We remember them; In the beginning of the year and when it ends, We remember them; When we are weary and in need of strength, We remember them; When we are lost and sick at heart, We remember them; When we have joys we yearn to share, We remember them; So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them. From Gates of Prayer <Reform Judaism Prayerbook> - Wednesday, April 09, 2003 at 10:21:31 (MDT) 4/9/03...The "art" is the recently discovered note to Jen Gossett from Chris in what she remembers to be, 1998. In her E mail she described it as follows, "The note is one he gave me to get me to come to his hockey game/practice that he was really EXCITED about...it was on a Sunday." This note is so typical Chris....EVERYTHING he did, he personalized. Notice in the upper left corner is the tip of a hockey stick and a puck...the guy below, I don't know! The photo is another recently developed beach pic from we believe 1995. It's a picture of Chris in his fish pants to the left and Scott Allen to the right, working very hard together to build a most awesome castle....and they did! They both worked together over the years in various aspects....mainly art and music. As I sit here today, I HONESTLY believe with all of their combined talents, Chris, Adam, Scott and Ryan...I see Caleb in there too...would have done some GREAT things together...but we'll never know. I said months ago, since Chris didn't get to finish his life, I get to finish it for him and that is what I know in my heart would have, could have, SHOULD have been! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 08, 2003 at 22:30:04 (MDT) 4/8/03...The art is the same CRY and the photo is the same 1995 beach picture as yesterday. The following is another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox...."Although all the parents interviewed are different, some commonalities exist: (1) all want to leave memorials of some type to honor their child, (2) all chose to find a cause, a reason to move on with their lives and spoke of how they would live those lives, (3) all believe everyone grieves differently and at different rates, and that as painful as it is, it is important to go through this process to come to terms with the reality of the loss, (4) all of them know they will have setbacks, and/or a rush of emotions that can be overwhelming when they might least expect it; it does not mean they will not heal, and (5) all believe they are different people now than they were when their child was alive; they have different goals; different friends; different priorities; and a life with a new richness to it that focuses on what our children left us...the gift of having them." I think I see now why Sandy wanted to interview parents only after five years and up. After almost two and a half years, I agree with most of what she writes in this excerpt but not all...maybe I just haven't gotten there yet. In a way, #1 made me laugh! After all the mocking and nastiness we had to take as a result of the memorial.... but I know very few people were responsible for that... and most were related. #2 is so very true, I identified my cause(s) early on...about 7 months after Chris was killed. I am very ANXIOUS to begin my campaign. #3 I find very true as well. #4 kind of scares me! I know I continue to have flashbacks and overwhelming, incapacitating emotions at ANY given moment...but these people were interviewed at no less than FIVE YEARS and more! Just as I suspected but didn't really want to admit...it's a life long process. These horrible moments won't end until I do! I can relate to parts of #5...but parts I can't. I am a TOTALLY different person from the one I was 11/19/00..and once again this experience ...and ALL that's followed and continues did NOT change me for the better...I even dislike parts of me now...and I HATE it!! Yes I have different gaols...how could they POSSIBLY be the same when half of the reason for doing all that I do...for living, is gone? I am so happy to say my friends haven't changed! If anything, not only do I still enjoy the same friendships...but as a result of this tragedy, I have developed new ones and strengthened some old ones! Different priorities YES! NOTHING matters except Adam William...his future and happiness. I guess the last line is the part I haven't reached yet. While I am SO aware of ALL the things Chris left SO many...his works...his life lessons, I am not to the point where I can simply say, "My life is so rich because I had him."...Which I FIRMLY believe, I am still at the point where I say, "My life is SO rich because I had him...and I wish to God I still did."....And at this point, I don't see that EVER changing. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 08, 2003 at 17:28:06 (MDT) What a beautiful picture of a beautiful, beautiful boy! Mary Saia <Westland> - Monday, April 07, 2003 at 19:59:52 (MDT) I was watching a story yesterday about a young basketball star we died under much different circumstances. One thing they said about him made me think of Chris and 11/20/00. "A young man with his potential, a life lost, it was devastating!" A Former Franklin Parent - Monday, April 07, 2003 at 13:17:19 (MDT) 4/7/03...We call this drawing CRY. I wish I knew the story behind it. If it wasn't so sad, it would be one of my favorites. It reminds me of a grief song I found on line months ago titled, I CAN'T CRY HARD ENOUGH. The title certainly applies for the first several months...and some days, it STILL applies. I don't search on line for grief related things any more, is that progress?? The photo is one of the recently developed beach photos from 1995 we think. ...I LOVE this picture! In person, the 5" print is even better. It shows Chris with so many things he LOVED. He's looking out into Lake Huron, he is wearing his loved "fish pants", and he has a dog with him. This golden lived about three cottages down but often came and played with the kids. We never brought Charlie with us until the last two years. I think the golden helped Chris deal with missing Charlie....Chris called him, "the beach dog!" Fran Kempa - Sunday, April 06, 2003 at 22:49:12 (MDT) 4/6/03...Same crystal ball/ eye drawing and first day of school photo from 1990 as yesterday. Yesterday, I was telling a coworker from India about our recently developed pictures of Chris. Over the years she had heard me rave about the beach, the beauty and the FUN, and how much the kids and everyone we invited to join us LOVED it! She asked me to bring all the pictures into work so she could see them. I brought the beach pictures and the Homecoming pictures...the roll of film chris shot I left home, but I told her about it. When we got to work at 6:30 she saw the photo envelope sticking out of my purse and wanted to see them right away! We sat down and looked at the beach pictures first, then the Homecoming pictures. As we were looking at the Homecoming pictures, the midnight nurse came back to the desk to do her charting. As Jaz and I talked, she joined the conversation, "You said these were developed last week but were taken in 1998?!" And I said, "yes" As she looked at a picture of Scott and Chris in their suits in front of the Allen house she sais, "How old IS your son there?" I replied, "14" She replied, "And how old IS he now?" I replied, "16." I noted the puzzled look on her face as she did the mental math, but I didn't say a word. She then asked, "If these pictures were taken in 1998 and your son was 14...that was 5 years ago...HOW can he be 16 now??'...So I told her. Fran Kempa - Sunday, April 06, 2003 at 14:24:02 (MDT) There are times When I see a firey sunset On the silver glow of the moon And I see my brother And I feel the peace that he still exsists. But these times are few And most of what I see is... What he is missing. Cry now my silent tears, Quietly so no one hears. They don't know the pain I go through Day after day And through the years. There Are Times <Alissa Roeder TCF Pikes Peak, Co> - Saturday, April 05, 2003 at 13:37:05 (MST) 4/5/03...We call this drawing BALL....with an eye inside! The photo was taken in Sept. 1990, Chris' first day of first grade, Adam's first day of fifth. Claudia and I attended possibly our last Franklin talent show last night. We went to support the kids who were Freshman and Sophomores when Chris was killed, and Scott remained a Junior...they are now Juniors..and most Seniors!..more proof of the fact that life goes on!... Once again Cori..WOW! Happy Birthday to my dear friend Claudia!! The following is another excerpt from the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox..."the pain may lessen, but it never goes away completely. Those who are able to accept this are able to move on. Others find it more difficult." Fran Kempa - Friday, April 04, 2003 at 23:04:51 (MST) 4/4/03...Same ALIEN drawing and Wally photo as yesterday. The following is another excerpt from the introduction of the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox.... "To all of us who have lost children, our child is always there with us, in the morning when we rise, as we dress, as we prepare for the day and go about our daily routines, and particularly at night, when the dreams and nightmares visit us. The days roll into weeks, months, years and most psychologists pronounce us well again...but are we?"... Fran Kempa - Friday, April 04, 2003 at 14:44:06 (MST) I still don't know about all this eye business but I found it interesting in this alien drawing, the eyes are blacked out. Mary Saia <Westland> - Thursday, April 03, 2003 at 15:31:25 (MST) I'm afraid of spring. I'm afraid, you might say, Of other children's voices As they come out to play. I'm afraid of the feelings Deep down in my heart, With all the pain and hurt, I may fall apart. Shall I shut all the windows, So I don't hear a thing? Shall I shut my eyes, So I can't see it's spring? Shall I let winter live, The whole year through? And feel safer inside And a lot colder too? SPRING <Penny Lenehan, TCF, Brookside, NJ> - Thursday, April 03, 2003 at 15:13:45 (MST) 4/3/03...The drawing is another we found on one of Chris' school papers. We call him ALIEN. I wish I knew, but I don't know the reason why Chris drew him. The photo was taken during spring break 1997. Adam's friend from Foodland, Wally had come to visit after leaving Foodland and going away to college. I remember that day VIVIDLY ...like so many. I was stripping the woodwork in the upstairs hallway and all three boys, Adam, Chris and Wally gathered upstairs. I had to caution them many times not to touch the woodwork. This is one of the photos we just got back the other day...Chris had hidden behind something and jumped up in an effort to scare Wally and Adam captured it on film! After this visit, we didn't see Wally for a few years. The next and last time we saw him was 11/22/00...the first day of Chris' wake...he remembered and he came... as so many did. I watched a wonderful American Masters on PBS last night, the life story of Joni Mitchell. I have been a fan of her ever changing music for over 30 years. As a resullt of frequent exposure over the years, I am happy to say that both Adam and Chris came to appreciate her too. Since 11/20/00 one of her lines has come to pretty much sum up the way I feel, and most likely will for the rest of my life....."I REALLY DON'T KNOW LIFE....AT ALL." Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 02, 2003 at 22:49:52 (MST) 4/2/03...I told Adam to leave the same photos up for two days for the month of April because there are so many new ones. I spent part of the last two days waiting for dentists, doctors and a few other people who think they're important. As I waited, I started to read the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOODBYE by Sandy Fox. The following is an excerpt from the Introduction. "To lose a child is the most unbearable loss of all. To keep my child in my heart forever is a goal I'll accomplish. I have no intention of saying goodbye to my daughter. She was always the most important thing in my life. Why should that ever change? I will talk about her, tell her I love her, relive all the good memories and not concentrate on her death. It doesn't hurt as much now, years later. It is a softer grief, hidden in the recesses of my heart. My grief has taken a back seat, but my daughter never will. I will never, never forget she lived and who she was. Talking about her to others for the rest of my life helps. I'll never get over it, but I have gotten through it." .....And that is EXACTLY how I feel about Chris and that is EXACTLY what I intend to do..keep talking about him. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, April 02, 2003 at 15:05:53 (MST) 4/1/03...The cartoon drawing was done by Chris in 1994. He gave it to Adam and he kept it at his office for years. The photo is the one Jen Gossett sent us recently. She said Chris and Caleb were riding the bus home from Emerson Middle school in 1998, eighth grade. Chris and I shared many fun April Fool jokes over the years! Last night we got the third roll of film back and sure enough, of the 22 pictures, 15 are pictures with Chris in them! They were taken before Homecoming 1998! The two rolls of film we got back Sunday made me so happy! In the beach photos he's still rather childish and has much more life left. I found the pictures we got back last night depressing...he's older with little life left and he looks almost like he did when he was killed....happy times that have turned SO sad. It's also very weird to see Chris' smiling face looking up from a picture then to turn it over and see the date, March 30, 2003 stamped on the back, knowing he's been gone almost 2 and a half years!...very strange. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, April 01, 2003 at 10:27:25 (MST) Miss you always.... <<<<<>>>>> <Dad> - Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 23:37:59 (MST) 3/31/03....The art is one of the flyers Chris designed for the art exhibit that he never lived to see. All of his works were exhibited and his flyers were used as planned, only he wasn't there. The photo was taken in May of 1993 at the Newburgh School at Greenmeade, a historical preservation area in Livonia. MONTHS ago, Adam Wm. found three rolls of undeveloped film and asked me to have them developed. He thought they were band pictures taken after Chris. Needless to say, I wasn't in a hurry to develop them. They sat on the dresser all this time. Last week, I made one of my lists. This one was a list of things I'd been putting off...the film was on it. I didn't take the one hour option, I wasn't anxious to see them...I took the over night.. which turned out to be three days. When Adam first gave them to me I asked if there was ANY possibility Chris could be on any of them and he assured me there was no way. We picked up two of the rolls Sunday. One roll turned out to be all pictures from the cottage from we believe 1995! MANY Chris pictures! Pictures with Adam, Scott and Caleb! The other roll contained one picture of Chris and the rest we believe were all shot by Chris!...They have his look about them. I can't wait to get the third roll back, hopefully today! We are STILL finding Chris things! I think it's one of his ways of letting us know he's still here. Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 22:36:51 (MST) 3/30/03...Same yoyo drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in 1999, early Sophomore year in the Franklin art department. Yesterday we helped some friends move. They were sad to leave the house for all the memories it held for them. I couldn't help thinking of all the Chris memories it held. Chris spent a lot of time there over the years both with us as a family and alone with his friend. I couldn't help recalling Chris shooting baskets in the driveway, jumping on the trampoline in the yard and hanging out in the basement. And I know if he was still here he would have been right there with us helping them move. I was very touched when I saw the first two pictures they hung on their new walls were Chris pictures, Edward Scissor Hands and John Lennon!.... I STILL miss my Chris SO much! Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 10:50:19 (MST) 3/29/03...This drawing of a yoyo was found on one of Chris' school papers. The photo was taken in August 1997 at the cottage in Lexington. That's Chris, Brad S. and Adam. I was talking to a coworker Thursday. She and her husband have only been in the U.S. since June. The country they come from in Europe has been war torn for years. She knows about me and Chris. She was telling me how they lost EVERYTHING...their home, their jobs, their status in the community, friends and family and their homeland but she still considers my loss worse...she still has her son very much alive. We talked about how despite our losses we still go on, we are survivors living a life that can never be the same. Then she brought up the fact that in each of our cases, complete strangers stepped in and ruined our worlds and changed our lives FOREVER...we had no say in the matter, it happened, and we're left to deal with the results. Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 29, 2003 at 17:44:08 (MST) SARS!!! what goes around <comes around> - Friday, March 28, 2003 at 21:21:36 (MST) WHOOPS! DARN IT! NEEXT TIME MAYBE!! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!! - Friday, March 28, 2003 at 17:43:41 (MST) 3/28/03...The art is the same Government project drawing from 4th grade. The photo was taken by one of Chris' friends...I suspect Scott or Caleb..Chris performing a "trick" on his skateboard....Skateboarding, a rite of spring. I often wonder if Chris would be as interested in it today as he was when he was killed since he'd have been driving for 2 or more years by now....But knowing Chris as I did, I believe he would still enjoy it for the sport and exercise...he LOVED skateboarding! Wednesday morning, I was doing my usual daily "pickup". I was taking dirty clothes and dishes feom the upstairs, downstairs. In my right arm I had a bundle of dirty laundry, in my left hand I had two glass drinking glasses, one inside the other. Charlie was walking down the stairs first, in front of me...All of a sudden, he stopped, I kept going and for a fraction of a second, became airborn. In that most brief moment, all I could think was, "Oh my God, I wonder how this will turn out...will I break a leg, my pelvis,...???" A fraction of a second later I ascessed the damage..two BROKEN glasses, a bleeding paw and a bleeding foot...not bad considering!...And I thanked God.... then it hit me SO hard. I wondered if Chris had those same thoughts on 11/20/00 as he traveled MUCH farther through the air than I just had. I wondered if he thought, "I'm REALLY gonna be hurt after this."...If he was capeable of thinking at that time, I have NO doubt he NEVER considered death an option...broken bones, pain...NOT death. But what I pray for every night is exactly what I hope happened...at that point in the tragedy, he was already unconscious and on his way to Heaven and could have cared less about a broken leg or two.... Fran Kempa - Friday, March 28, 2003 at 16:29:18 (MST) It was so wonderful to see you at the show! Chris definately loved and continues to be "loved by others!" A true measure of his beautiful heart. Thoughts and prayers are always with you... Ms. Hillman - Thursday, March 27, 2003 at 08:30:04 (MST) 3/27/03...The art is a drawing of the White House Chris did for a Government project in 4th grade...good old Mr. Backiel's class. The photo was taken in June 1994...Activities before Chris' first and last Tiger's game. I saw my first robin, ant and skateboarder yesterday...I guess that makes spring official! All of the grave blankets have been removed from the cemetary....except for the one area where Chris is buried!...I'm sure the task will be completed by the weekend. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 22:30:37 (MST) hey chris. man sometimes i miss you so much that it hurts. i've been thinking about you so much more lately. i love it, but at the same time i feel so empty. i miss you. i keep thinking back to the last time we talked. i know there was no way i could have known, but i just keep thinking about everything i would have said and done--and not said and done. but every time i think of you i remember all the good times that we had . . . they just seem so far back in time. they make me laugh, cry . . . close my eyes. i hope that it won't be long until we see each other again. i feel somewhat lonely because you know no one could ever fill your shoes. though i wish that i were with you now, i know there's a reason for seperation. and i can dream of memories you're recording and i look foreward to that day when i'll see that smile on your face one more time. -- USA - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 19:06:45 (MST) 3/26/03...Same UNMASKED drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in Sophomore year, '99/'00 during one of the plays. It was taken by one of Chris' friends and left at the Memorial early on. Film was another one of his elements. Not only did he love doing it but I understand he was very good at it. Monday at work a coworker who knows nothing of my story was telling me about a problem within her husbands family....one member isn't treating another member right. She feels for the person being mistreated but feels she can't do anything about it. She then said she believed some day it would all work out because she FIRMLY believes that "What goes around comes around." She said you never know how or when, but it would be worked out. I listened and when she finished I said, "You have NO idea how I hope you're right!" She thanked me for taking an interest in her story....what she didn't know was, I was thinking about mine! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 10:26:24 (MST) 3/25/03...We call this drawing UNMASKED. Chris drew it for a repot on Romeo and Juliet. The photo was taken in September 1984, playing with his crib gym. Over the weekend Adam W. cleaned his closet. As a result, I found many things in the laundry I hadn't seen for a long time. One item in particular I hadn't seen since 11/20/00 and it sparked a vivid Chris memory. In October 2000 I took Chris shopping..a belated back to school shopping event but the first day he was available. What I had forgotten until the other night was I had taken Adam shopping about four weeks before. One of the stores we went to was Old Navy. He chose two ribbed knit sweaters, a navy blue one and an olive green one...V neck and crew neck. Weeks later, when Chris and I finally got together, I asked him where he wanted to go. His instant reply was, "Old Navy Mom, I want to get some sweaters like the ones Adam got." So we did. Since so much time had passed they had redone their displays and the sweaters weren't where they were when Adam got them. We looked all over and couldn't find them so I asked a clerk, trying to describe them. She didn't seem familiar with what I was describing but told us to check in a remote corner of the store...there we found the ribbed knit black turtle neck. Chris was very happy to find it and wore it often for the few short weeks he lived after that. It's so strange to me...I remembered going to Old Navy with him and buying that sweater and some jeans...but all that led up to the purchase I had TOTALLY forgotten until the other night when I was doing laundry and picked up that navy blue crew neck sweater of Adam's...and the memory just flooded in. It is such a weird experience...almost dizzying, you almost have to hold on...because the memories do FLOOD...good or bad and you have no control. This was a very good one I'm happy to say. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 25, 2003 at 10:49:46 (MST) 3/24/03...The art is the same panel #9 from yesterday. The photo was taken in May, 1986. Adam was 6, Chris was almost 2. It so reminds me of spring. It was taken in our backyard on Auburndale in front of the BIG forsythia bush...I still remember taking it. I found it so interesting during the Academy Awards last night, three of the first five were categories I believe Chris some day could have competed in....I teased him for many years..."When you're up there giving your acceptance speech...don't forget to thank me!" I was serious!..He thought I was kidding. But he was SO driven and had so many GOALS, I believe he should have realized them. The first award was for Best Animated Feature Film...Chris would have been SO excited that it was first...A Japaneese film I have mentioned before, Spirited Away received the award. The next award was for Visual Effects. Lord Of The Rings received the award but I know Chris would have hoped it would go to Star Wars which was described as a "digital universe." The fourth award was for Art Director and Chicago was the recipient.....Three of Chris' passions! It would have been fun to watch with him last night! Another one of the simple things in life I miss SO much! Fran Kempa - Monday, March 24, 2003 at 15:55:13 (MST) I wanted to post a quick note here today to tell you I continue to visit this wonderful site daily...and admire your continued courage Fran. Much Love JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 17:40:49 (MST) Wow Mrs. Kempa, you did it again! You write so real. i can see in your last entry as hard as it is you still try to find the positive in this most horrible tragedy. i miss Chris! A Franklin 2000 Grad <Who Loved Chris> - Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 17:01:57 (MST) 3/23/03....The art is panel #9 from the comicbook HMmmm Chris wrote and illustrated some time during high school. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1985. Chris was 18 months old. He's seated in front of the piano he received that morning, eating one of the carrots left over from the reindeer. That is the same piano years later, Charlie LOVED to play! Once again, congratulations to Angie Hillman, Mrs. Hillman, the entire cast and crew for another WONDERFUL experience in theatre..The Wizzard Of OZ! The costumes, makeup, acting, directing, singing, dancing, FLYING, special effects..."and Toto too" were amazing! We were lucky enough to have front row center seats for the performance! We began the evening with dinner. Not long after we were seated a very pretty young lady..an employee of the restaurante came by to say hello to one of the friends I went with. When we were asked if we remembered her...and she said her name, all I knew was she was the girl Chris had a CRUSH on for years in grammer school. I didn't tell her that but acknowledged remembering her....I ordered macaroni and cheese, one of Chris' favorites. As we pulled out of the parking lot, one friend commented there were TWO cars with Chris bumper stickers on them! ...and as we drove to Franklin, we drove through the intersection of West Chicago and Merriman. I was very touched and very happy to see mine was not the only Chris pin worn last night! I saw and spoke to many kids and adults Chris knew during intermission and after the performance....Another bitter sweet experience. Toward the end of the play, as the "wizzard" was giving Tin Man his heart, one of the lines jumped out at me and REALLY reminded me of Chris..."A heart isn't judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others."....And as we drove home and turned onto to West Chicago from Merriman, we noticed the soft glow of a candle burning at the memorial....as if to say, "Mom, I'm OK.".....All I can do is trust. Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 15:41:58 (MST) 3/22/03....Same Punk drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in October, 1999. I LOVE this picture of Chris. To me it shows how tall and gentle he was. This morning at work there was a radio playing. The song What If God Was One Of Us Came on and triggered a Chris memory. On the Tues. before the Monday Chris was killed we were driving home from the Orthdontist and that song came on. I thought it was a new song by Courtney Love. Chris informed me it wasn't Courtney Love but Joan Osborne and had been out for awhile....I hadn't heard it before but he had. Those are the things I will continue to miss every day of my life...just talking about simple things. Looking forward to the play tonight! Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 22, 2003 at 14:25:35 (MST) 3/21/03...We call this drawing PUNK. We found it in Chris' sketch book shortly after he was killed. We may have found it that horrible day. When the poliece first brought his school bag home, I couldn't even go near it. As the minutes turned into hours, I found myself tearing through his bag...looking at everything almost as though I was trying to find some clue, some sign that this was a mistake..this wasn't true...The photo was taken in Sept. 1985, Adam's first day of Kindergarten. It was a very exciting day for all of us! Chris was 15 months old. As you can see in the photo, Adam was in a hurry to get going! Less than an hour after this photo was taken we met the Allens for the first time, Claudia, Scott and Ryan. They lived only a few blocks away but we had never met them. I know that meeting changed all of our lives for the better! The other day at work, a long time resident had her TV on as the news about the impending war blasted. She became very emotional and asked me, "What about your boys...will they have to go?" For a brief moment I thought about what to tell her... then simply replied, "Trust me Anna, I don't believe either one of my boys will have to be involved." She was relieved. Fran Kempa - Friday, March 21, 2003 at 11:35:45 (MST) 3/20/03...Same Chris Apple Eye drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in August, 1995 after our annual weeks stay at the cottage in Lexington, Mi. The photo was taken at Wimpy's Hamburgers...the place we visited traditionally after leaving the cottage... befoe the drive home to reality...We all LOVED the cottage. It was such a laid back, wonderful time, intensified by very loved, wonderful people. When we were there, we had no schedule...one night we'd have dinner at 6:00...the next night we might not have dinner until 9:00 or later!...We called it "beach time"...We just took it as it came and LOVED every minute of it! I was SO happy to see another front page article in the Livonia Observer today paying tribute to the WONDERFUL Franklin Players and their wonderful director Angie Hillman. I am so happy to see this year they have finally receivid some long OVERDUE recognition. I am proud to say both Adam and Chris were a part of Players when they were at Franklin..Angie and her Mom should be very proud for yet another, (from what I hear) FANTASTIC presentation...this one being THE WIZARD OF OZ! As usual, all shows are sold out. Claudia and I are lucky to have tickets to the Saturday night performance...we are both looking very forward to it! I know if Chris was still with us he would be attending at least one show. Cori is the Student Director and many of the performing Seniors were / are... his friends. Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 20, 2003 at 16:29:53 (MST) 3/19/03...The art is another one of many I don't know the story behind....I just find it so interesting the apple to the left of the ginger bread man has an eye in it! The photo was taken in summer 1994, Adam and Chris in their pool...Chris loved it more than all of us combined. I have no idea if we'll open it this year..I imagine we'll have to since we didn't last year...but I have NO desire to. If I had my way, I'd rip it out and plant grass....but one member of the family won't allow that. At three different times yesterday, I had three different Chris memories....all of which were funny. I didn't write them down...as I sit here to record them, I find I've FORGOTTEN them...I didn't write them down. It's as though my mind plays tricks on me. Having to write down memories of my child...that is SO sad to me. I have been thinking of the family and friends of Rebecca Sandoffsky and Anna Bonde lately...not wondering, but knowing how they feel and what they are going through. This February it was a year since the world lost Rebecca, and March 17th marked two years since the world lost Anna. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 at 15:38:15 (MST) 3/18/03...Same TEDDI as yesterday. The photo was taken in 1990. Proof from his first grade picture. He must have written his name across it later because I know he couldn't write in cursive at 6....but that is definatly his signature. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 at 13:10:13 (MST) Miss you always... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, March 17, 2003 at 22:24:23 (MST) BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BOY!! XOXOXOXO - Monday, March 17, 2003 at 22:04:29 (MST) 3/17/03...The art we call TEDDI. It's the cute drawing that Lauren, Scott and Cori all now have tattoos of! The picture is one of many Chris took of himself. He took it in October, 2000 just about one month before he was killed. Three years ago today the vet advised us to have Charlie put to sleep! He is still very much a part of the family although he is failing..some days more than others. Just when we think we HAVE to decide when to do it...he ralies! Speck would miss him VERY much. Two years ago today we went to dinner and a movie with the Deadys...I have NO memory of what we did or what happened last year..What a difference a year makes...let alone a split second! We received a wonderful gift from Jen Gossett last night! She found MORE Chris things! She scanned and E mailed Adam a picture she found of Chris and Caleb riding the bus home from Emerson in the 8th grade. She also scanned and sent a few drawings Chris did for her!! She gave us some back ground on each one. I am still AMAZED that the photos and art still keep coming after almost two and a half years!...I know for a fact there are still some things out there I haven't seen! Fran Kempa - Monday, March 17, 2003 at 15:28:48 (MST) 3/16/03....Same TIGER as yesterday. The photo was taken in January, 1996 while visiting in Buffalo. Bill and Chris having breakfast together. We went to dinner and a movie with friends last night. We walked into the restaurant and IN MY LIFE was playing...the song Cori sang at Chris' funeral..our waiters name was Chris! During the movie it showed the main character making funeral arrangements and picking out a casket for his wife who died suddenly. While it was his wife and not his child, it still brought me back to the same place at the funeral director's desk...and walking past the ROWS of caskets on 11/20/00. Even when you try to get away from it..you can't. There's ALWAYS something there to remind you. Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 16, 2003 at 11:03:01 (MST) 3/15/03...The art is the beautiful TIGER Chris drew shortly before he was killed for an assignment in his Visual Communications class. The photo was taken in winter of 1993 while visiting Buffalo. Pictured to the right of Chris is "Chris' car." The '93 Topaz that should have been his..the one we recently had to replace. I guess I can say I have a picture of Chris and his first..and only car! Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 15, 2003 at 15:34:50 (MST) 3/14/03...Same art work signature as yesterday. The photo was taken in August 1992 I believe. Chris and Grandma Joan as she was leaving the cottage after their annual visit. Today is my mother's 81st birthday! Last year at this time I was in Buffalo for the first time since Chris was killed. I know when I call her later tonight, she will bring Chris up during our conversation..she always does. Fran Kempa - Friday, March 14, 2003 at 15:56:44 (MST) I know what you mean when you say he stopped. He didn't finish, he WAS STOPPED! My son suffered the same fate. We are all members of a club none of us wish to belong to. Danielle Strom <TCF Miami> - Thursday, March 13, 2003 at 18:29:12 (MST) 3/13/03...The "art" is an example of how I wish Chris had signed all of his works...the addition of a date would have made it perfect! I point that out not to criticize, when he was alive and producing them the way he signed them was his own personal expression. I say that because it would have been most helpful to us, after his death to not only know the title and date...but to see that signature! The photo was taken in June 1996 at the 6th grade breakfast...a pseudo graduation from elementry school. Pictured with Chris in this photo are some of his long term friends, Matt Combin, Danny Sperry and Christin Ogden. Connie was at work today..we had a lot to talk about. Her biggest need right now is for someone to tell her that everything will be fine soon. She's beginning to realize...it's a slow process...that she'll never be the same again. The other night I was home alone so I decided to rent the movie IN THE BEDROOM. I knew it dealt with the loss of a child..but that was all I knew. I had been waiting to watch it alone...I wanted to see if "Hollywood" could capture the magnitude. I'm not sure who wrote, directed or produced this movie but one of them most unfortunatly KNOWS. There were two scenes that hit home... SO true. The first showed the father, on the day of his son's funeral, ascend the stairs to his son's bedroom. The camera shows the inside of the room from the outside at first...it shows dirty clothes on the floor, his desk chair pulled out as if he had just gotten up...it shows how this young man just STOPPED! Then it shows the father enter the room looking around at his drawings, clutching his pillow...knowing but not accepting at the same time. That is EXACTLY how I felt when entering Chris' room for the first time. Even though it was weeks later, that's exactly how I felt...HE JUST STOPPED...How can that be?? There were many scenes that "faded to black" as Chris often said. The other scene that REALLY struck me showed the mother at the cemetary. She's sitting on a bench talking to someone and says something like, "It comes in waves, there is no sound so loud...I feel SO angry!" There were other real moments in the movie...it showed the parents "going through the motions." When people asked them how they were, they answered, "OK." It showed how they aged about 20 years in a few days, it showed a person addressing them and saying, "I understand"..It showed them both reply at EXACTLY the same time, "NO you don't!", it showed the mother getting the mail and seeing mail addressed to her son, it showed the mother going back to work, it showed the father driving behind a car marked, "STUDENT DRIVER", it showed each of them catching glimpses of boys that resembled their son, and doing a double take, it showed each of them doing something they used to do with their son...now they were doing it alone,...it showed them trying to figure out the impossible together and alone. I am SO happy to see that miracles really do exist!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, March 13, 2003 at 16:54:59 (MST) thinking of you always buddy....love and miss you always Chris Katie B. - Thursday, March 13, 2003 at 10:34:24 (MST) Dear Mrs Kempa, I just wanted to say I think of you and Chris often. I hope you are doing well. Much Love! Rebecca Gates <drama_princess_99@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 at 23:37:57 (MST) 3/12/03...The art is the same WALLHEAD from yesterday. The photo was sent to me almost one year ago today by the Assistant Principal of Emerson Middle School, Ms. Leach. In her note she said she was cleanig a drawer and found this photo...she very thoughtfully sent it to me....I am VERY ashamed to admit...despite SEVERAL futile attempts to reach her by phone, I have made no written contact with her to thank her....having this photo on again I believe will renew my efforts to do so. Yesterday I attended an IV seminar sponsored by the pharmacy that services our facility...and has for many years. At one point during the presentation they dealt with the IV solutions most commonly used in the ER...within this part of the presentation, they mentioned the solutions NOT TO BE USED IN THE EVENT OF HEAD TRAUMA... at that point, I felt the need to take an unscheduled break..and did so. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 12, 2003 at 00:15:02 (MST) 3/11/03...The art we call WALLHEAD. I found it several months after Chris was killed. It was hanging on his bedroom wall above his closet door. For about four months after Chris was killed, I couldn't enter his room at all...couldn't even have the door open...then gradually, I started going in and poking around, sometimes just sitting on his bed. That's how I found this drawing. I was sitting on his bed, looking around and after all those months, for some reason it just jumped out at me. And I said, "Oh my God..." A statement I've made hundreds of times since Chris was killed for various reasons! There was, and still are SO many things hanging on his walls, this just blended in. The photo was taken in September 1993, first day of 4th grade. I find the last entry in the guestbook to be SO true. It gives me great comfort to say and to know, Chris was almost ALWAYS happy!!....I had a similar experience to Adam's on Monday...only mine was positive. I was in the checkout at Farmer Jack. There was an obvious mother and son behind me. The boy appeared to be about the age Chris would be now, almost 19, and the mom appeared to be at least my age, 48. What I couldn't help but notice...and ENVY was their interaction and dynamics...they so reminded me of me and Chris. They were talking about things... funny and serious...they were talking about life. Humor was injected where ever possible...just like me and Chris. The mom pointed out the fact that he was between jobs and should REALLY try to find one. The boy half joking...with a big smile...as he helped her empty the cart said, "Mom, if I don't have a job next week, you'll still love me, right?" And the mom replied, "ABSOLUTLY!..but that won't stop me from reminding you ...you need to find a job!!"...Both of them with big smiles on their faces. A little later, the boy said, "I hope all the fruit is good." The mom replied, "It better be...you picked it all out"...and on and on....It made my heart ACHE! After I left the grocery store...knowing I had NO intention of cooking that night, I called Adam W. up to see if he wanted Mcdonalds. He was open to the idea so I decided to stop there on my way home. I went to the one on Joy Rd. across from Franklin...the one we ALWAYS went to...the one I'm sure the driver and his wife frequented before they moved away. I went to the drive thru...the total came to almost $2.00 more than I had bills...but I had a LOT of change. As I pulled up to the window to pay, I didn't pay attention after I stopped...I was going through my purse looking for change...all of a sudden I heard, "Well, hello Mrs. Kempa!" I looked up and there at the register was Chris' friend Casey Mack! The friend Chris had spent 10 days with at his cottage less than four months before he was killed! We chatted for a while but I didn't want to hold up the line. We established the fact that he has worked there for over a year, is now a senior, is going to the local community college next year...then wants to go to ART SCHOOL!...another one Chris inspired!!..My drive home was quite emotional! I am VERY happy to say I received a return E mail from Sandy Fox, author of the book, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE, giving me permission to use passages from her book, here on the web page! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 at 15:56:58 (MST) Be happy in the moment...for this could be your life.. Something To Think About - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 at 05:54:07 (MST) Today in my travels, I was next to a woman who was complaining about the cost of a pair of replacement eye glasses for her daughter... I wish I had a similar problem. When he was younger, Chris even lost a pair of glasses at a 4th of July fireworks display (Livonia Spree) SAD to think how happy I would be to buy him a new pair now. The lady asked if I had ever had to buy a replacement pair for a kid. She is lucky I did not answer........ Miss you always, Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, March 10, 2003 at 17:51:14 (MST) 3/10/03...Same Valentine as yesterday. The photo was one of the last taken of us as a complete family, August 25, 2000. As life played out, we just happened to have some family functions in Buffalo, both happy and sad, shortly before Chris was killed resulting in a number of family photos which freeze Chris JUST as he was then. Had it not been for these family events I know we wouldn't have been running around taking pictures just to take them. I am SO happy to have them...they are treasures! The other night I was talking to a woman the mother of three children, who had recently lost a son. She asked me how many children I have and I said, "Two, Chris and his older brother Adam who is now 23." She said , "Well, I guess I have two children now too." I truly hope she reaches the point in her journey where she comes to believe she still has three children as I do. Her son is still her son and still exists as Chris does, just on a different level. I hope she'll come to find it is this belief that helps her keep her sanity and keeps her going just as I do. Fran Kempa - Monday, March 10, 2003 at 10:47:45 (MST) 3/9/03...The art is another Valentine Chris made for me, not sure of the year. The photo was taken on November 9,2000 in Chicago....We had no clue, EVERYTHING in his life was going SO well!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 09, 2003 at 16:09:32 (MST) 3/8.03..Same altered left eye drawing as yesterday. The photo is one of many we never saw before Chris was killed. Cori gave it to us. It's the photo we used for Chris' member of the class of 2002 memorial page we put in last year's year book. To me it really shows some of what Chris was...gentle and funny. When Adam graduated in 1998, we put a half page congratulations in his year book. From then on from time to time, I thought about what I'd like to say for Chris'...I had NO idea it would read..."In Loving Memory"... Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 08, 2003 at 16:18:57 (MST) 3/7/03...The art is another I'm so sorry to say I don't know the story to...but once again, I find the altered left eye very interesting. The photo was taken in May, 1993, the end of third grade. It was taken by his teacher Ms. Copeland in a field of buttercups......To me, it's just more proof of the fact that he was a beautiful, beautiful boy!....and a joy! We attended our Compassionate Friends meeting last night. They had a speaker for the first time in a LONG time. As a result, more people attended last nights meeting than the regular monthly meetings....there were more people I didn't recognize than I did. I said to Adam, this would have made an interesting "sharing session" night, I wish I knew their stories....Maybe next month. The speaker was a woman from Phoenix Arizona by the name of Sandy Fox who wrote a book titled, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF SAYING GOOD-BYE. As it turned out, she buried her daughter and only child nine years to the day..3/6/94. We bought a book and she signed the front page, "In memory of Chris" I haven't started reading it yet but I am planning to E mail her tonight for permission to put passages that strike me here on the web page. More people need to know how bereaved parents feel...from a distance, not up close and personal...I would never wish this upon anyone. Fran Kempa - Friday, March 07, 2003 at 15:24:15 (MST) 3/6/03...Same absent left eye drawing as yesterday. Same new photo as yesterday thanks to Cyndi. I didn't have to work yeaterday so I really didn't care if it snowed three feet. I woke up rather late to determine a snow day...about 8:00. When I saw Livonia Public Schools were closed, all I could think was, "Chris would have been SO happy today!".....a few minutes later all I could think was, "wait a minute...Chris wouldn't have been in LPS anymore...he would have been in college...and just like Adam, would have had to go to school in spite of the snow!".....That "frozen in time" phrase is SO true...to me, he's still 16 and a Junior in high school....this isn't the first time this has happened and I now know, sadly, it won't be the last. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, March 05, 2003 at 22:16:44 (MST) 3/5/03...The art is one of many I don't know the story to...I just find the absent left eye interesting!...given the outcome...My baby is dead! The photo is the new...never seen before photo sent to us recently bt Cyndi Lareau. In her enclosed letter, she summed it up this way,..."It's not the best picture, but I thought you'd like to have it anyway. I took it during LADY CRIES MURDER. Chris was wearing a hat & Lauren took it from him. (She's wearing it!) I hope this picture, (though it's not a good one) brightenes your day! It's signed, Lots of love, Cyndi. The back is labeled...Jessica Decker, Chris and Lauren Rossi....Lady Cries was fall of 1998...Freshman year if I'm not mistaken...he had two more fall plays to go ...and he did them!!...VERY well! THANK YOU Cyndi!...I hope you received my note! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 04, 2003 at 22:22:30 (MST) "Let thy chlld rest in hope, and raise in GLORY!!!" Glory Be To God!!! - Tuesday, March 04, 2003 at 21:58:05 (MST) 3/4/03...Same Valentine inside from yesterday. The photo was taken in October 1999 before Homecoming. That's Chris, Beckey Gates, Katie Williams and Caleb Deady. We all had fun that night! I talked to Connie yesterday. I didn't even know if she knew about me and Chris. She told me that shortly after she started working with me she told another co worker..."I don't know what to make of Fran...She talks and laughs, but I see a lot of sorrow in her eyes."...then she told her about me and Chris. So yes she knew...but most unfortunatly now she understands. We talked for a while. When she's ready she'd like to try Compassionate Friends. I told her I'd go with her. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, March 04, 2003 at 08:44:10 (MST) 3/3/03....Chris would have been very interested in this date.... The art is the inside of the homemade Where's Waldo? Valentine Chris made me in 1992. Notice his :'s are in the wrong place! The photo was taken on easter morning 1993. I had to work that Sunday so the boys were given the choice of getting up EARLY to find their bunnies and baskets...then going back to bed, or waiting until I came home around 3:30. At that young age, they chose to get up early then go back to bed...I know if Chris was still alive I'd STILL be doing bunnies and baskets...I haven't figured it out yet but if I have to work this Easter and the boys were given the choice...at their ages, almost 19 and 23, they would most certainly choose to wait until I came home at 3:30...there is no way they'd get up at 5:30 for Easter baskets and bunnies! Fran Kempa - Monday, March 03, 2003 at 15:25:37 (MST) Hope if you get more shirts there might be one small enough for Bradley to wear. He begs to wear the big Chris shirts to school but is only allowed to wear them in the house....often uses them as PJ's Kathy - Sunday, March 02, 2003 at 15:38:44 (MST) 3/2/03...Same homemade Valentine from 1992. The photo was taken at the Buffalo waterfront marina in 1987. Chris LOVED the water! For whatever reason, there seems to be a renewed interest in Chris things. In February, 4 people wanted shirts, three people wanted buttons and several people wanted Chris stickers. It's only the second day of March and I've already received one request for a shirt and one for stickers! Thank you! Fran Kempa - Sunday, March 02, 2003 at 12:21:36 (MST) 3/1/03...The art is a homemade Valentine Chris made for me in 1992. I forgot about it or I would have had Adam put it up last month. He was very big on Where's Waldo? that year. The photo was taken on June 14, 1984. Chris had been home for the first time for a matter of seconds...Adam couldn't wait to hold him for the first time! Fran Kempa - Saturday, March 01, 2003 at 11:30:01 (MST) 2/28/03...Same MASK GUY as yesterday. The photo was taken sometime in 1986 at our next door neighbor's house on Auburndale. This was the original gang of kids my kids played with on a daily basis...all the kids were back and forth between houses..it was great! Each of these small children...even at their age, exhibited their own style, personality and talents. From left to right...Alexis Garland, Melissa Wong, Annie Heathcock, Colin Garland, Brooke Kilyanik, Chris, Adam and Amanda Wong....the girls out numbered the boys by far...but at those ages, it hardly mattered....they all had so much FUN!! So sorry to hear of the death of Mr. Rogers. I selected this photo for this date weeks ago but it's very fitting....exactly the time my boys were watching and enjoying Mr. Rogers. As they got older, they grew to make fun of his show....but for many years, they like so many children ,were very taken with him and his show. Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 22:17:52 (MST) To my lost sibling: My Silent Companion I see you in my dreams..... Laughing happily, free from sprrow, And safe from life's misfortune. The joy that fills your eyes, Fills me with comfort. And I know that every step I make, You also take. Guiding me down life's path, Through obstacles in my way.... You are my silent companion. When God took you back...it changed our lives, And our perspective, We now see the vibrant glow, That lives in every one of His creations, And it reminds us of you. I hear you laugh in the crashing surf, and feel warmed by your hugs in the soaking sun. You are EVERYWHERE... You are my silent companion, Though I want to reach out to you, And hold you tightly in my sorrow, I know you can feel my tears on your shoulder, As you surround me in your soul. You sprinkle my life with tokens and treasures, Remindres and reassurances of how much you love me. I know you'll live inside my heart, And walk with me until I can join you... Forever as my silent companion. Jennifer Forrest <TCF Orange Coast, CA.> - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 19:42:38 (MST) 2/27/03...We call this cute little guy MASK GUY. He was one of Chris' many drawings on a school paper. The photo was taken in August, 1984 in Buffalo. The whole family was there for Chris' Baptism. That's Chris and Cousin Joan in the crib Grandma Joan kept for the grandchildren. Chris was 2 months, Joan was 16 months. One of the afternoon nurses brought in her most recent discovery in candy today...Citrus Altoids! She let us each try one..they were lemon and quite good, shaped like little berries...all I could say and all I could think was, "Chris would have loved these!!" I went to the cemetary after work. The grave blankets are still in place. I never thought I'd say this but most of them NEED to go...including Chris'. They're to the point where much browning has naturally taken place after so much time. It's depressing enough to be in a cemetary but when all of these dead decorations adorn your dead loved ones grave, it's even worse. Hopefully they'll be removed soon. Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 14:16:12 (MST) The pain still continues. At times different but ever present. As someone once said "Still?" To watch my family suffer day by day is inhuman. To find my son bloody, dead and with a look of terror on his face........there are no words. STILL Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>>> - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 01:20:03 (MST) "Human pain does not let go its grip at one point in time. Rather, it works its way out of our consciousness over time. There is a season of sadness. A season of anger. A season of tranquility. A season of hope. But the seasons do not follow one another in a lockstep manner. At least not for those in crisis. The winters and springs of one's life have lifted, but the next day they have returned. One moment we can smile but a few hours after the tears emerge....It is true that as we take two steps forward in our journey, we may take one or more steps backward. But when one affirms that the spring thaw will arrive, the winter winds seem to lose some of their punch. A Gift Of Hope <Robert Venigna> - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 18:56:44 (MST) 2/26/03...Same unfinished computer animated guy from yesterday....How I MISS being called into his room or the computer room to see his latest creations!...He was amazing everyone in 2000, how I WISH we could be further amazed today! The photo was taken in November 1987, their last formal portrait together. Today was a lost day for me...Last night for what ever reason...I've stopped trying to figure it out, I had many Chris memories....and I believe that's why I felt the way I did today....Yesterday as I was pulling out of Larry's parking lot, I had a vivid memory. In '98 or '99, when the City started it's Plymouth Road Development, construction was started on the main street corners. They built very nice brick walls and sidewalks. When thay started construction around Sheldon Plaza...which contains Larry's, they had to dig a large trench all around it...I guess they had to go below the frost line. When Chris came home from work the first night after the digging was completed he burst through the door and said excitedly but confused..."Mom, they're building a MOAT around Larry's!" During the 1992 Presidential election, Chris did... and loved to do, an imitation of Ross Perot. He would put his shoes on the floor, then kneel on them so he looked like a little short guy, and wave his ears back and forth and talk with a southern accent...it was FUNNY...and he was only 8! For what ever reason, Adam W. had a green shortsleeved sweatshirt in the wash...he hadn't worn it recently that I can remember but I washed it and it brought back memories...The last time we all painted the house together was I believe in 1999. This shirt has gray brush strokes all over it...put there by Chris. At one point during the painting they started a sort of paint war and started seeing who could paint each other the most! I don't remember who won. Last night Adam, Sarah and I had a conversation thet brought back another memory. I told Sarah that Adam had gone to Kindercare for preschool on the days I worked. In February of 1984 I received a call at work from Kindercare...Adam had tripped and cut his lip quite badly. When I got there I could see he needed stitches and took him to St. Mary's...I was 5 months pregnant with Chris so I guess you could say not only was that our first experience with St. Mary's...but his too. He went on to be born there, be misdiagnosed with a broken foot there and pronounced DOA there, 11/20/00. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 16:20:36 (MST) "...Sometimes excuses are like skin...VERY thin!!!"..... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 at 14:31:23 (MST) 2/25/03...The art is another one of Chris' unfinished computer animations. I believe he was working on this guy shortly before he was killed. The photo was taken in January 1988 in the backyard on Auburndale. Chris, Adam and their Snow dog. I received a speedy reply from the FBI in response to my E mail requesting info about computer aging a photo. They gave me a good suggestion which I'm so happy to have and wished me luck! I saw a man on the news last night being interviewed after the recent loss of a loved one. The reporter asked the stupid question, "How do you feel?" He summed it up perfectly. He replied, "How do you think you would feel if you had a hole where your heart used to be?" I had another funny Chris memory last night as the cat dashed by me. My Mother HATES cats. When my parents come to visit, we give them the master bedroom. On the first night of one of their visits about four years ago they had gone upstairs to get ready to go to bed. Chris and I were upstairs too and went in to talk to them for a little while. My Father opened the closet door to put something in and there was Felix sleeping on the floor. My Mother reacted in a frightened manner and Chris just started LAUGHING! He said something like "what if you hadn't opened the closet and the cat jumped on the bed in the middle of the night!" My Mother replied something like "I would have had a stroke" and Chris kept LAUGHING..not to be disrespectful, he just thought it would have been funny! Very soon we were all laughing as Chris took his cat out of the room and my Mother made sure the bedroom door was TIGHTLY closed! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 25, 2003 at 11:01:54 (MST) Hi everyone. It occured to me that I never write much on here. From time to time I'll speak up and say a few words but it hasnt been enough, so I wanted to say something today. I wanted to say that I do still think of Chri and I do come on here and look at recent additions, as do plenty of people do. But I dont think people step up and say much sometimes. I dont know if its fear or judgement because their posting it for so many people to read, or absence of words, or they cant express exactly what their feeling and what they want to say because for some people their really arent many words that can justifibly explain what an impact Chris has been on their lifes. And that just occured to me the other day. I mean a while ago this song kept coming back to slap me in the face that reminded me of Chris. It isnt a very popular song now, it was, but still its not regularly played. And the day that my two closest friends left for school (becasue they left a month after most schools) I was having a tough time... And I swear the first time I heard it, it just made me more upset. After all our goodbyes I heard it again in some store, and then again in my car on the way home on the same radio station that played it the first time. To me this was astonishing because unless I played it, I hadnt heard the song in like 2 years! And I kinda took it as a sign, that he was watching. Like he was saying its okay. And I dont know who out there are sceptics, but believe me I am. This is very wierd for me to believe in something like this to happen for that reason. But it happened again, I was driving home from dance and for some reason something triggered me and I was upset about my preformance and while I was re-evaluating my carrer choices, the song came on. And I felt okay. To me that just says more than coinscidence. So basically what I'm saying to the the family members and friends that express their words: there are more people out there that havent found the words. And to those who were in my position: one day you'll turn around and they'll come. So right... I just wanted to say that because its all okay, and I love you Kempas! ~Chris Christin Ogden <TiniBallerini@aol.com> - Monday, February 24, 2003 at 22:00:50 (MST) 2/24/03...The drawing is the same MARKER as yesterday. The photo was taken in January 1988. It's a picture that captured Chris... always smiling, always having FUN! Connie's son's Obituary was in Sunday's paper. I didn't know it, I just happened upon it while reading the Metro section. A few of the lines realy hit me.."He was on top of the world,...an upbeat young man who encouraged others with his smile,...in his spare time he enjoyed listening to music and sketching in a blank book he always carried,...he wanted to march to a different drum and break the traditions."... And the same can be said of all the kids from Compassionate Friends...ALL good, kind, loving, talented, wonderful kids...ALL gone too soon. God must have the most WONDERFUL band of young Heavenly Angels!! In the same section, on the very next page was an article about Plymouth's Mayflower Centre. That brought back a Chris memory from less than a week before he was killed. The finally opened Centre is just one block away from our Dentist/Orthodontist. Chris and I drove past it MANY times during the construction, he often commented on it because the architecture looked "cool." On Tues. 11/14/00 I drove Chris to his last Ortho appointment. As we passed by the construction he asked, "Mom, do you think that place will EVER be done?" I told him there had been some problems with funding and work was stopped for now. That was the last time he saw it. I have NO doubt had he lived, he would still be going to The Bean and most likely hanging out at the Mayflower Centre. There's a Starbucks there! Sunday night I watched most of the Grammys with the dogs. I don't know how, but I missed Simon and Garfunkle's performance and award....the main reason I watched...I kept waiting for it! Had Chris lived until February of his 16th year, I KNOW he would have watched the 2001 show with me...I have no idea if he would have watched with me last night. At 19 I suspect he would have been out with friends as his brother was. LOTS of good music... much Chris would have loved. Norah Jones cleaned up....Beautiful voice, I LOVE beautiful voices. Fran Kempa - Monday, February 24, 2003 at 11:18:33 (MST) 2/23/03...The drawing we call MARKER and was done sometime in High school. The photo was taken in August, 1992 in Port Huron. Adam, Chris and Aunt Molly. Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 23, 2003 at 14:21:32 (MST) 2/22/03...Same Chris Kempa @ Home CD cover as yesterday. The photo was taken in 1984. For the first few months of their lives we took both Adam's and Chris' photo in this plant stand....to show how they'd grown. I was always a little nervous, you can see my hand in the photo standing by just in case. Chris is wearing his very first Super Man T shirt...He lked the one he got in 1987 for his third BD much better. I had an interesting Chris experience at work today. I over heard one of our resident's daughter's talking to her Mom about Connie. Since Connie only works one day a week the daughter asked me, "When will Connie be back?" I told her not for a few weeks at least. The daughter replied, "Oh, a nice long vacation?"...she obviously didn't know so I told her. She was very shocked and very sorry and then started to say, "If that ever happened to me, I couldn't go on...it has to be the most horrible thing." I told her, "I KNOW it is. In November of 2000, my 16 year old son was killed."....and what she said next REALLY surprised me. She said, "Oh my God, are you the Mother of that sweet boy in Livonia?" and I said, "Yes I am" and she said, "Oh my God, I've known you for almost two years and you never said anything." I explained to her that it's something you carry constantly in your mind and heart but only talk about when it's appropriate. You just can't go around interjecting the fact that your son was killed into conversations. She went on to tell me how she remembers 11/20/00 so vividly...she lives just down the street from the corner. Her daughter is a very good friend of Cyndi Lareau's and her daughter has been to the Memorial more than once with Cyndi...Both of her kids went to Franklin! She asked if we'd found out any more details about how it happened. I told her we had .....she was shocked. Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 22, 2003 at 14:19:07 (MST) Mrs. Kempa, "WOW!" A Viewer - Friday, February 21, 2003 at 22:21:38 (MST) 2/21/03....The art is the cover Chris made for one of his homemade CDs shortly before he was killed. His love of Legos is evidenced here. Just recently I've come to appreciate the care he took in drawing this CD cover..the very straight line under his name and the little marks around the Lego guy to imply movement! The photo was taken in 1986 in our back yard on Auburndale. Chris and his Teddy bear. Last night, I found the news coverage of Baby Jessica 10 years later very interesting and encouraging. I remember that situation SO well. At the time I was VERY much opposed to that little girl being ripped from her "custodial" parents as they called them last night. I felt it was sheer agony for her and her adoptive parents and imagined their pain at the time. Adam W. and I watched the 6:00 version together and I asked him if he recalled the story. He replied that he indeed did remember. What gave me some hope and made me feel better...on the 11:00 news when they asked Jessica what she would want her "custodial" parents and the people in Michigan to know.... she very confidently replied, "I'm FINE!"... It may sound silly but I thought of Chris...he was ripped away from his family....but I guess the reality is, we were his "custodial" family and he was returned to his real Father. I hope and pray more than anything, if we could ask Chris what he'd want us to know, he would VERY confidently reply, "I'M FINE!" Fran Kempa - Friday, February 21, 2003 at 15:24:37 (MST) I saw a commercial on TV tonight that made me think of Chris and Mrs. Kempa. It states in the begining something like,"It's very hard to lose your best friend, it's even worse when it's your son." All I could do was think of them. Luckily in the commercial, the son isn't dead, he's just rebelling. Often in our thoughts! A Franklin Parent - Thursday, February 20, 2003 at 21:53:23 (MST) We received another wonderful gift in today's mail....This one from Cyndi Lareau. It'a picture Cyndi took during rehersals for Lady Cries Murder, the Franklin fall play of 1998. It's a picture of Jessica Decker on the left, Chris in the middle and Lauren Rossi on the right. In the picture, Lauren is wearing a hat. Cyndi said right before she took the picture, Chris was wearing it and Lauren took it away from him. I DO consider this yet another sign! Chris knows what a BAD Chris week I've had and sent me ANOTHER," Hello from Heaven!" Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 20, 2003 at 16:32:33 (MST) A thin veneer of normalcy over a sea of sadness. Miss you aways.......... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Thursday, February 20, 2003 at 13:17:58 (MST) 2/20/03...Same KNIGHT drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken in 1987 in the McDonald's parking lot in London, Ontario. We were picking up the boys after a visit in Buffalo with Grandma Joan and Bill. ...27 months since he went away, seems like forever, seems like a day...I sent out a few E mails this morning to begin my search of a person or agency who can computer age Chris' last school picture for me. If possible, I'd like to have it done by his Birthday..... Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 20, 2003 at 09:24:26 (MST) 2/19/03...The drawing we call KNIGHT. Chris did it in I believe Sophomore year (99, 00) while studying Romeo and Juliet. As with many, the detail is much more pronounced in person. The photo was taken in August, 1992 at the cottage. There was a half wall divider between the living room and a sun room which looked right out on Lake Huron. Chris is sitting on the divider. Connie's son's funeral was today. I didn't attend either the wake or funeral as planned but thought about her the WHOLE time. As a resutlt, all my thoughts of EXACTLY what she's going through jogged some memories of that time in my life which I had forgotten until yesterday. Tues. afternoon I went grocery shopping right after work. I was in the middle of the Kroger floral department when I had a sudden flood of memories...all relating back to purchasing Chris' funeral flowers. I stood there gripping my shopping cart as my mind took me back to our kitchen on 11/21/00....a flashback... Two of my friends were over. They are both very creative, one of them used to work at the florist we were about to go to. Through tears, I asked them if they thought we should get a blue arrangement for the "casket spray" to match the coffin, or a beautiful arrangement of Fall colors. They both said the Fall flowers and I was happy because that was the way I was leaning. That decided, my one friend suggested carnations because they last longer than most flowers...and because of the Thanksgiving "Holiday"...Chris'funeral was not until Saturday. I have never liked carnations...I don't know why. As soon as the suggestion was made I strongly said, "NO carnations!"...This was Chris, he deserved beautiful, exotic flowers..just like he was. Then my mind took me to Cardwell Florist. I could now see myself standing at the counter, wearing the same jacket I had worn to the ER just over 24 hrs. before and I was CRYING! That was the first thing I cried to the woman who helped us..."NO carnations!" She tried to explain to me, just as my friend had, why they'd be a good choice but I refused...even if we had to buy more half way through the process, I wanted more exotic, beautiful flowers. The woman then made me a promise. She told me that because the funeral home was so close to the florist, she would go by there every day, including Saturday morning...if any of the flowers were looking the least bit wilted, she would replace them. While I never saw her there, I know she kept her promise. The arrangement was beautiful and exotic just as I wanted and it never once looked like it wasn't holding up.... In a way I hope my thoughts of Connie trigger more memories...while the main experiences remain, most of the detail is a fog...but then in a way I hope they don't. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 at 12:15:08 (MST) I just wanted to add another family to the prayer list. The Kavalhuna family lost their son Michael this past Thursday after a fire in New York. He was an opera singer and a very nice guy. This is the second child they've lost, something I remember Fran mentioning would be utterly horrible to have happen. Their other son was killed 9 1/2 years ago I think in a car accident. They have one son left. They are such a nice family. Again, why God? Cathie Vyse <Wysetalk@aol.com> - Tuesday, February 18, 2003 at 17:04:01 (MST) Another damn trajic loss...I was so sorry to hear of yet another young person who died. You know Chris was right there welcoming him to Heaven....Fran, I am so sorry this is replaying the devastating hurt of that day for you..prayers out to you and the family of the young man who died. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Tuesday, February 18, 2003 at 16:40:40 (MST) 2/18/03...Same John Lennon drawing from yesterday. The photo was taken in July, 1992...our first summer on Berwick. Both boys LOVED our new home. The windows barely showing above the front door are Chris' bedroom windows. He loved those windows. Inside his room the window sill is wide enough to sit on and Chris often did...it was his "window seat"....More than two years after he was killed, his room is STILL his room. I still can't bring myself to change that. I held it together pretty well at work but after I got home yesterday, the death of my co worker's son REALLY got to me...I cried A LOT! I cried for Connie, I cried for myself and our families...but mostly I cried for our boys....Another GOOD kid gone too soon. I found myself once again asking the unanswerable question, "WHY?" and trying to make sense of something that will never make sense. I considered going to the wake or funeral but quickly reconsidered...Adam agreed. Judging by the way I was reacting to the news alone, we were both VERY unsure how I'd react there and the last thing I'd want to do would be to cause a problem for her during this horrible time in her life...I really don't know her well and didn't know her son at all...just what I've been told about him. Another co worker, a good friend and neighbor of Connie saw me yesterday and the first thing she said when she found out I had heard the news was, "You're the perfect one to ask...what can I do for her??" I said most unfortunatly there is NOTHING you can do...nobody can. But the most important thing to do is just be there for her...be around. If she needs something she will ask. What I'd like Connie to know most of all ....even though she'd NEVER believe it at this point...is that she and her family WILL survive. FOREVER saddened, FOREVER changed...but they will survive.....And at this point in time, I'm not sure if you EVER stop surviving and start living again. Fran Kempa - Monday, February 17, 2003 at 22:47:13 (MST) Not good at all Fran. :( Prayers and thoughts to your co-worker, family and friends. I did hear about an accident this past weekend but was not familiar with the family name or the young man. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Monday, February 17, 2003 at 16:30:12 (MST) 2/17/03...The art is the John Lennon Chris did the summer before he was killed. The photo was taken in Oct. 1998 at the I HOP before the Homecoming dance. I found out this morning one of my co worker's son's was killed Sat. night in a car accident..He was 21 and the sweetest most gentle boy...not good! Fran Kempa - Monday, February 17, 2003 at 13:50:04 (MST) 2/16/03...The art is the same whimsical self portrait Chris drew in August 2000 as part of an assignment for Ms. Hillman's Radio and TV class....which he loved! The photo was taken in June 1986. Chris and Colin. Last night we had our first Trivial Pursuit party. I hope we'll have many more. It was fun. We played men against the women...and the women won! Toward the end, Adam and Sarah joined in and played..I know if Chris was still with us he would have been involved too. He always enjoyed games like that. I KNOW he would have enjoyed the dinner...he loved my lasagna. Last night was only the second time I made it since he was killed. It may sound silly but cooking certain meals is still hard. Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 16, 2003 at 12:27:03 (MST) KEEP OFF OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO G.MEN MUGU - Saturday, February 15, 2003 at 09:43:49 (MST) And the point being??????? hereisthenews - Sunday, February 16, 2003 at 09:41:24 (MST) He drew that self portrait in August 2000! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 15, 2003 at 10:40:15 (MST) 2/15/03...The art is the whimsical self portrait Chris drew in I believe August, 1999. He drew it on the back of the school paper he'd written... why he wanted to take Ms. Hillman's Radio and TV class. The photo was taken in August 1994. Adam and Chris at the cottage. Chris made his presence known in a BIG way last night! I told Adam I HOPE he's letting a few other people know he's still around in much the same manner! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 15, 2003 at 10:36:52 (MST) KEEP OFF OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO G.MEN MUGU <nature@mugu.com> - Saturday, February 15, 2003 at 09:43:49 (MST) I wish I could have been his Valentine today. I sill miss you Chris! V. M. - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 13:41:05 (MST) 2/14/03...The art is the same small, red heart Chris drew sometime ago...perfect for Valentines Day! The photo was taken in June, 1995... The end of fifth grade at Grant school. Chris was just a few days shy of 11 yrs old. I took the picture, I loved that outfit. As you can see, after the picture was developed, Chris altered his appearance. I'm not sure why. I don't know if he did it just for fun or if he really didn't like the way the picture came out.....I can't help but wonder what Chris would be doing today, Valentines day at 18! Fran Kempa - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 11:38:43 (MST) 2/13/03...The art is a simple red heart Chris drew once upon his lifetime. I have no memory of where we even photographed it from. I have a feeling because it's so small, it was drawn on one of his school papers. The photo was taken on July 25, 1994. That's cousin Joan, my sister Kathy's youngest on the left, Aunt Molly, my youngest sibling in the middle, and Chris...my youngest, on the right. It was taken during my father's 70th Birthday party in Buffalo. When our kids were little, it seemed all the cousins saw each other rather regularly despite the miles, at least once a year. As all of our kids grew and developed their own interests and lives, the coordinated visits to Buffalo became less and less. Joan and Kelly were busy with sports and horses in North Carolina, Chris and Adam were busy with art and music in Michigan and Billy was very busy with sports in New York. I will never forget the attraction Chris had for Joan. As I recall, it was sometime during the summer of 1987, Chris was 3 and Joan was 4. We all spent about a week in Buffalo and by the time we left....Chris was in love! He thought Joan was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen...he was CONVINCED he was going to marry her and he often told me. "I'm going to marry Joan Mom." As they grew and sadly, grew apart, Chris had been out and about in the world and had changed his views on marrying his cousin. When this picture was taken they hadn't seen each other for a few years. What is even more sad, I don't think they ever saw each other between 1994 and 2000. They were "reunited" so to speak during the weekend of my parent's 50th anniversary party in August, 2000. Chris and Joan had definatly rebonded that weekend and were E mailing each other regularly until he was killed...SO many lives were impacted in those few seconds on that horrible morning...11/20/00. Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 13, 2003 at 16:44:45 (MST) When I opened today's page, and quickly glanced at the photo of Chris, my mind said...that sure looks like Bradley, my 5 year old grandson...and Christopher's second cousin.....wow a strong resemblance...Bradley also reminds of in personality of Chris.He's another.."Out of the box" kind of kid! Bradley loves to hear about Chris and loves to wear the "too big" Chris t-shirt. Kathy - Thursday, February 13, 2003 at 07:27:19 (MST) Mr. K ~ When the truth comes out, Everyone will be listening! MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Thursday, February 13, 2003 at 03:14:38 (MST) Mrs. Kempa, If this web page is any example of your story telling ability, your Grandchildren will be captivated! Mary Saia <Westland> - Wednesday, February 12, 2003 at 22:13:33 (MST) 2/12/03....The "art" is the same Compassionate Friends Christmas tree ornament as yesterday. The photo was taken in 1989...Chris was five, in his big brother's bedroom. I was telling Adam last night how strange I felt yesterday when I thought about Teddy and Chris...They were both 16, both very popular and talented, we have pictures of Chris at school, with the family dog...also a cocker spaniel, pictures of Chris standing on the rocks at the beach....and what hit me like a ton of bricks and was quite eerie...at the end, Chris' head was wrapped like a mummy.... While we have no actual pictures of this, we all have that picture forever etched in our minds....There is one more thing Teddy and this tragic event have in common... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, February 12, 2003 at 15:30:58 (MST) missed scott a - Tuesday, February 11, 2003 at 22:59:03 (MST) 2/11/03...The "art" is our THIRD ornament from the Compassionate Friends Christmas tree in Kellog Park in Plymouth. The small print under the name reads,..."that their light may always shine" Some people wondered what the ornaments looked like. I hope this is the only place you ever have to see one. The photo was taken in Nov. 1984. They loved each other so much! In my never ending quest to make myself feel "better" some thoughts came into my mind recently that never had before. I don't know why. I remembered my friend, neighbor and classmate Linda who lost her brother in a car accident when he was 18 and we were 16...32 years ago. He would be turning 50 this year! I didn't know her brother at all and barely knew her parents. Her Mom was an artist, her Dad smoked a pipe....that's all I remember. I just remember going to her brother's funeral Mass and CRYING. Until Chris', that was the saddest funeral I'd ever been to. I thought maybe I'd call Linda's Mom and ask her...after 32 years...does it ever get better?? I even went so far as to call long distance information. Not only do Linda's parents still live in the same house after all these years, they still have the same phone #! It was so strange, as the # was told to me I remembered calling it so often so many years ago! I haven't called Jane yet..part of me doesn't want to upset her, she is elderly now....and truth be known, I think I'm afraid of her answer! I've also been thinking recently about my Grandmother who lost a son at 16 as the result of a brain tumor. I remembered that of course but until recently had forgotten about the stories...My sister Kathy commented in a recent phone call, "Don't you remember how Grandma ALWAYS talked about Teddy?"...And the memories came flooding back...and she had pictures! Pictures of Teddy in school, pictures of Teddy with the family dog Topsy, of Teddy at the beach house in Canada...standing on the rocks in his knickers! And as his disease progressed, pictures of Teddy with his head wrapped like a mummy. What I remember most now is how she never cried when she told us about him...her face always lit up! Just about every time we saw her, which was often, we always asked, "Tell us about Teddy Grandma!"...She never got tired of telling the stories and we never grew tired of listening! I hope someday in the future I'll hear, "Tell us about Chris Grandma!" I'll have many pictures and works of art to show....I'll never get tired of telling the stories...without a tear in my eye but a smile on my face... and I hope they never get tired of listening! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 11, 2003 at 15:52:58 (MST) "I want to make sure his Mom knows why he's in the morgue and not in art school....and exactly who put him there." Crossing Jordan <2/10/03> - Monday, February 10, 2003 at 22:08:38 (MST) 2/10/03...The "art" is the same "red M for Mom" as yesterday. The photo was taken in Oct. 1984. On the back I labeled it "the night the Tigers took the Series!" I remember that night so vividly aa I do so many. After we took this picture, Adam and Adam went out driving around, honking the horn with all the other happy fans...Chris and I stayed home and I put him to bed. The next morning on the front page of the paper was that famous picture of Kirk Gibson. So sorry I wasn't out driving this afternoon. If I had been I would have definatly been listening to Deminsky and Doyle and for the first time most likely would have called in. I could have told them a lot about roadside Memorials. Fran Kempa - Monday, February 10, 2003 at 16:19:14 (MST) Chris' memorial was mentioned today on the Deminski and Doyle show on 97.1 FM today. They were talking about roadside memorials, so I emailed them and told them about this site. Hopefully they will mention it on the air. Joe.Cwik - Monday, February 10, 2003 at 14:43:45 (MST) Miss you Chris, as always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, February 09, 2003 at 23:38:55 (MST) 2/9/03...The art is a gift Chris made for me in 7th grade shop class. It was my 1997 Mother's day present from him. When he gave it to me...unwrapped, just handed it to me he said, "It's a red M...for Mom." I was very touched and displayed it in a very prominent place. It remained there for the few more years he was alive, and is still there today. The photo is the last of my finds from the Grandma Kempa box. It was taken in Dec. 1984...like so many, I have pictures taken at the same time but different poses...This one is my favorite but I hadn't seen it for about 18 years. In the photo Chris was 6 mos. old and Adam was about to turn 5. On my way home from work today I stopped by the Cemetary. All the grave blankets are still in place. As I drove out I tried to recall how we chose that Cemetary....Some people have even asked me why Chris isn't buried in a "CATHOLIC" Cemetary...as far as I'm concerned once you're buried it hardly matters...and I doubt anybody's entry into Heaven depends upon where their body is buried. As I recall through my fog, when we went to the Funeral Home in the late afternoon 11/20/00 to make arrangements, I seem to recall the funeral director telling us we had our choice of two Cemetaries, Parkview and another. At the time, religion didn't even enter my mind,....I simply asked, "Which one is closer?" and that's what I based my decision on. It is a beautiful Cemetary. Mr. Sussala the teacher from Franklin killed last week will also be burid there. Fran Kempa - Sunday, February 09, 2003 at 14:49:18 (MST) I have not turned my back on you, So there's no need to cry. I am watching you from heaven, Just beyond the morning sky. I've seen you almost fall apart, When you can barely stand, I asked the Lord to comfort you, And watched Him take your hand. He told me you are in more pain, Than I could ever be, He wiped His eyes and swallowed hard, Then gave your hand to me. Although you may not feel my touch, Or see me by your side, I've whispered that I love you, While I've wiped each tear you cried. So please don't ever ache for me, We'll meet again one day, Beyond the dark and stormy sky, As rainbows light the way. To My Mom <Author Unknown> - Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 18:14:16 (MST) 2/8/03...Had the art shown up it would have been the same last recently discovered pastel from 5/99. The photo was taken in 1986 in London Ontario at the McDonalds on Wellington Rd., just off the 401. That was our half way meeting point between Buffalo and Detroit. If I recall correctly, my parents had had the boys for a week and we were picking them up this trip. This was Chris' first time on one of these characters and I was a bit nervous...you can see my hand in the lower left corner waiting to catch him if he fell. So sorry to hear about another Franklin tragedy. Neither Adam W. or I knew him. EVERY year another Franklin student or teacher is taken! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 14:34:51 (MST) i cant beleive hes gone!!!!!!!! kevin mcshane <skinny1616@yahoo.com> - Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 12:39:37 (MST) its hard for me to say what i got to say because it herts...i knew chris in 11th grade i was in raido and tv with him, i didnt get the chance to know him like his clostest friends but the time i did get to know him, he made me laugh, he was a very warm hearted person, no matter what he did he would make you laugh he was the kind of person that you wanted as a friend...i rember a play we where gonna do called "who killed chris kempa" (chris masters was in are group) i chicked out on the day we where gonna do the are play i stayed at home i think that was the day i herd the sad news....and when i herd it and realised who is was i felt empty like something was riped out of me i didnt want to believe it....i still have a picture he drew in my notebook to me its like a priceless painting it means a lot to me...i dont know how it feels like to loose a child but i know its something that is every parents worst nightmare and i cant ever equal up to how you guys felt that day but i will tell you this enenthough i didnt know him that well i felt like another person close to me was gone i had another friend die one me that year it was jenny she died the first day fo her 10th grade year...it just goes to show ya that you dont have to be really close to somone to love them and miss them!!!! S.H <In_shad0ws_Growing_Wings@hotmail.com> - Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 12:27:19 (MST) Yet another sad day. Another Franklin loss. Prayers and thoughts to the family, friends and students of Mr. Susalla. I know you are there for him Chris. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 05:26:27 (MST) Miss you always Chris ... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, February 07, 2003 at 23:18:54 (MST) 2/7/03...The art is the last newly found pastel example. As you can see in the lower right corner, this one is signed and dated too..."Chris Kempa 5/99." The photo was taken in Sept. 1991, Chris' second grade class picture. This one was found in the Grandma Kempa box...I used to enclose the boy's school pictures in the Christmas cards. On the back I wrote, "Chris 7yrs." Not a bad day all in all. Fran Kempa - Friday, February 07, 2003 at 16:50:44 (MST) "It's Joseph's robe, isn't it?" 33Their father recognized it at once. "Yes," he said, "it is my son's robe. A wild animal has attacked and eaten him. Surely Joseph has been torn in pieces!" 34Then Jacob tore his clothes and put on sackcloth. He mourned deeply for his son for many days. 35His family all tried to comfort him, but it was no use. "I will die in mourning for my son," he would say, and then begin to weep. Genesis 37: 32-35 Sad friend - Friday, February 07, 2003 at 16:50:06 (MST) 2/6/03...The art is the same dotted lined mushroom girl as yesterday. The photo was taken July 12, 1992....Grandma Kempa with her grand children and great grand children. Chris was one month into being eight years old....half his life was OVER but who knew.....he is in the front row right. Adam W. is next to Grandma Kempa on the left. The two little girls to his left are her first two great grand children....it still freaks me out for many reasons that Chris and Grandma Kempa were taken so close together....but she was taken first. Tuesday night I saw a commercial on TV that made me LAUGH but made me SO sad at the same time. I don't even remember what the commercial was for...but it SO reminded me of Adam and Chris and their activity as brothers! It showed two brothers sitting at the kitchen table and a jelly donut on a plate...the one brother is manuvering the hole of the donut to correspond to his brother's open mouth...all of a sudden, the one brother makes a fist and POUNDS the donut and the other brother has jelly ALL over his face...but he's smiling! I can SO see Adam and Chris doing this and I can see either boy in either role!....What is SO sad is the fact that Adam will NEVER be able to engage his brother in ANY activity again...funny or serious...his brother no longer exists on his level...But I SO pray he is still there for him on another level and I believe he is with him every day....but it's SO not the same! Fran Kempa - Thursday, February 06, 2003 at 15:48:36 (MST) 2/5/03..The art is the third of four recently discovered pastel examples. I wish Chris was here to respond to me when I asked him to explain this ...it appears to be a girl, sitting on a mushroom reading a book...she is outlined in dotted lines...and there is a pair of scissors busily cutting her out!? I am very sad to say since Chris was killed, every roll of duct tape, scotch tape, masking tape, electrical tape...every pair of nail scissors, sewing scissors, scissors scissors,...every pencil, pen, paper clip, rubber band, marker, screw driver, flash light, roll of aluminum foil and battery are easily found...there is no one "DOING A PROJECT" out of them any more. When Chris was alive, one or all of the above were ALWAYS missing!...And that was always his reply...I think a carry over from school, "I'm doing a project out of it."...or, "I'm doing a project."....That was one of the last things he said to me and Adam W. 11/19/00 when he asked us if we would start buying Altoids. His reply when I asked him, "Why?" was..."I want to do an art project out of the containers!" The photo was taken in May 1984...this is the masterpiece find of the Grandma Kempa box....unlike the others, I have no copy of this photo or others taken like it...I hadn't seen this photo in 18 years! I don't recall if it was posed...if I asked Adam to get into the crib with Chris or if I just found them together and I knew I had to have the photo...when they were little I always had a camera readily available to capture both....Anyway,...that's Adam in his underware and Chris in his diaper in the crib!...The crib that was originally Adam's with the same yellow gingham Winnie The Pooh bumper pads. What is shown in the photo but doesn't show up here... to the left of Chris is the busy box attached to the back side of the crib. Chris was VERY in to the busy box...he operated it with both his hands,,,and very often, his feet! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 04, 2003 at 22:51:27 (MST) 2/4/03...Same phone cord pastel girl as yesterday. the photo was taken June 10, 1985, Chris' first birthday....He was such a beautiful baby who grew into such a beautiful boy!. Behind him on the floor are the not to be without baby wipes and behind them is the oak chest that was moved into the kitchen some time later to become the telephone table...the oak chest Chris a few years later would cover with Transformer transfers! I never used a snugli for either of the boys when they were babies...I carried them.. and I loved it! As I carried them, I would kiss their heads numerous times...it was like an automatic response. I remember during both boys babyhoods...6 mos., 9 mos. 1 year....saying, "this is the perfect stage...I wish I could freeze them right here!" I never in a billion years dreamed at one point one of my boys WOULD be frozen...maybe it wasn't the perfect stage in life..16...but what a perfect life on SO many levels he had going! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, February 04, 2003 at 16:17:07 (MST) ...And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up!... Charles Dickens - Monday, February 03, 2003 at 21:52:33 (MST) 2/3/03....The art is the second of four pastel examples recently found in the art room. Although this one is neither signed or dated I believe it was done around the same time as the others, May 1999....knowing Chris, maybe all were done on the same day! The squiggly line surrounding the girl is the phone cord. Before we had a cordless phone in the kitchen, we had an extra long cord on the phone ..long enough so the boys could take it into the basement if they felt the need for privacy. When Chris did accept a call in the kitchen, he would do that very thing, wrap himself in the phone cord while talking...only our cord was biege. The photo is another we have other copies of..taken the same time, in the same spot but this is a pose I hadn't seen in years..another from the Grandma Kempa box. It was taken on Father's Day 1985. I don't recall the date Father's Day fell that year, Chris was about to, or had just turned 1. One of the gifts we got Adam that year was one of those red, rolling tool boxes...still very much in use today. Judging from Chris' posture in this picture, I took it just before he climbed on top of the tool box and started opening it! Fran Kempa - Monday, February 03, 2003 at 18:41:59 (MST) Thanks again to Mr Rheault and Kim Parrent for the "new Chris art" Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, February 03, 2003 at 00:08:54 (MST) I have not written in here in a while..just wanted you to know that even though that is the case, I still visit the site daily and think of you all each and every day. I know Chris welcomed each and every astronaut up to Heaven yesterday!! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Sunday, February 02, 2003 at 19:15:42 (MST) ...No time on earth is long enough to share with those we love or to prepare our hearts for that last good-bye.... Author Unknown - Sunday, February 02, 2003 at 11:03:55 (MST) 2/2/03...The art is the same recently found pastel example from 5/99 as yesterday. The photo is another that we have many taken of at the same time, in the same spot...June 10, 1985, Chris' first birthday party. I hadn't seen this pose in a long time....Chris is not only trying to eat the cupcake, but the candle as well!.... The second of 9 new pictures found in the Grandma Kempa's box. While listening to the coverage of the Columbia tragedy yesterday, there were a few things that hit home. Early in the evening, a friend of one of the astronauts was asked how he reacted to the news of the death of his friend. He described learning of his friends death in a way I could really relate to....."For a long time, it didn't seem real.....and then I guess that turned into mourning." Later in the evening, Tom brokow interviewed the Aunt and Uncle of another astronaut....one of the women. At the very end of the interview, Tom said, "taken from us at such an early age...but what a life she had!" And the Aunt replied, "doing what she wanted to do!".....And all I could think of was Chris!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 23:25:20 (MST) 2/1/03...This drawing is the first of four new pastel examples Mr. Rheault and Kim discovered in the art room just a few short weeks ago. This is the one that's signed in cursive and dated, 5/7/99 in the lower right corner. Unfortunatly, it doesn't show up in this picture. Last night I helped Adam W. lay the four out to be photographed for the web site. You can't handle them without some of the colors rubbing off on your hands. When we were finished my hands were covered in all different colors of pastels. The first thing I did was go wash my hands. As I watched the various colors go down the drain, all I could think about was the skill and care Chris put in placing these colors on this paper to make these images...and I'm washing some of them down the drain. Notice just the left eye is pictured in this one. The photo was taken Christmas evening 1986. While we have others that were taken at the same time, in the same spot, I hadn't seen this pose in years. It's one of the 9 In found in the box from Grandma Kempa's. I was very good about sending her photos for years. Then for some reason, I just stopped. Almost 17 years to the day, another horrible tragedy for our country. Fran Kempa - Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 12:05:33 (MST) you know,it was so weird...mr rheault and i were cleaning out his classroom for the new semester, and we were sorting through old pieces, and we found I believe it was four of chris's pieces;some of them had no name on them, you could just tell by the style that they were chris's...that brightened my day:) kim parrent <skitzofrenickprincess@yahoo.com> - Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 11:21:45 (MST) 1/31/03...The art is the wonderful Lego mosaic Adam made of his brother in the early months following his death. It remains a permanent fixture in front of the fire place in the living room. It is so strange to see this beautiful memorial in the very spot Chris stood SO many times in the past,...in front of the fire place, that was a favorite picture taking place, for first day of school pics, Halloween pics, Homecoming and Christmas pics...Chris had MANY a picture taken there in life, where the Lego mosaic now stands in death....very strange...one of those many, "how can that be?" moments. The photo was taken in August, 1993 at Lake Huron. The water was mostly very calm during our weeks there..I can only recall two summers when the water became this wavey...Both times the boys LOVED it...and I was very nervous. Fran Kempa - Friday, January 31, 2003 at 15:25:51 (MST) Once I saw a grown man cry, "Now there goes a man with feeling ," said I. He was strong, able, quite well built, With muscles, gray hair and charm to the hilt. I moved toward him slowly and said, "what's wrong?" The look he gave me was tear-filled and long. "I cry for a child, my grandchild has died." So I sat beside him and two grown men cried. Author Unknown - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 15:26:03 (MST) 1/30/03...The art is the computer picture Chris did of Lauren Rossi sometime in 2000. Lauren never saw it until after Chris was killed. Adam found it on one of the computers in the Franklin art department. The photo was taken in August, 1992...Chris and Bill saying goodbye at the beach. As someone once pointed out, there appears to be a rainbow above them. Chris was the youngest grandchild on both my side and Adam's side of the family..and I don't think anyone would argue....outwardly, the most spirited! Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 13:58:50 (MST) Last week another passing occured for our family.... or what is left of it. The old Topaz was acting up it had trouble shifting... I took it in to "the transmission place...folks we trusted.... They looked at it and said it would take $$$$$$$$$ to fix. This was the car we had since 1993... it was the car that, ..we took on vacations to the cottage ..we took on trips "back home" where Chris and Adam would have fights in the back seat... That I took Chris to guitar lessons in ... That I took Chris to work at Larry's food land in... That I drove Chris to school in... ..that we watched our family grow up with............. the old family buss. In about 1998 - 99 we started having repairs done so that the Topaz would be ready to carry Chris to his first year of College. After Chris was killed, I ran the "old buss for 2 and a half years in and out of Detroit. It would have meet Chris's needs, FOR SURE I had told Chris that this would be his car. The joke was that he would tell be almost daily that I should take good care of this car, the Topaz. I did Chris but it broke on me................................................................ When it came to the day to drive it to the dealers for the trade in. I could not find the keys for the Topaz.... I still haven't and I have looked everywhere...... I wonder............ Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 01:06:32 (MST) 1/29/03...The art is a whimsical sketch from a school paper..."Lars the Sweedish Fish." Once again I wish I knew the story behind Lars....future comic book character?, future video character?, of just plain boredom in school. The photo was taken on June 10, 1986, Chris' second birthday party! Yesterday was the 17th anniversary of the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion. I remember that day vividly. It was during my switching childcare days. I was serving lunch to Adam, Alexis, Colin and Chris when I heard the news...I even remember what I was serving..another horrible tragedy. It's strange to think that Chris was never in either Adam's current cars. The van is the only one of our three vehicles he ever rode in. We had it for eight months before Chris was killed. I remember the night we brought it home. Chris was very impressed with the sliding doors on both sides...the Windstar only had one! He asked if we could drive him and Ron to the movies later that night and we did. Chris asked if they could stop at 7 Eleven on the way for slurpies...promising not to spill them. We stopped, they didn't spill. Chris and I spent so much time in that van alone together. On 11/17/00, the Friday before Chris was killed, I felt like we drove all over town for his various activities and we did. When we were driving form Larry's to McDonalds to Franklin, Chris had his right foot up pressing against the glove box. When he went to get out of the van at his final destination and removed his foot, it had made a big muddy foot print. I told him HE could clean it off when he had the time....He never found the time to clean it, and I never found the time to make him...and Monday he was dead. I drove around for WEEKS with that foot print there. I never cleaned it off, it just wore off. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 29, 2003 at 12:15:32 (MST) 1/28/03...The art is the last 3D wireframe rendered model done by Chris in the Fall of 2000 that Adam was able to find. It's the beginning of his Spy vs Spy copy. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1996. That's the boys and Felix. It's so strange, for more than 16 years, I referred to Adam and Chris as "the boys", or "my boys." Many people did the same. I know every time I talked to my Mother one of the first things she'd ask was, "How are the boys?" What do I say now?..."the boy" or "my boy?" That sounds too strange so I just say "Adam." The other night I decided to give the bookshelf in the bedroom a good cleaning. One of the first things I picked up was the gift Adam and Chris..."my boys", gave me for Mother's Day 2000..my last Mother's Day gift from Chris. It's a book called Mother's Are Special...A Tribute To Those Who Love, Encourage & Inspire. The inside cover is signed, Chris Kempa in his cursive writing, underneath that Adam and underneath that 5/2000. After reading that, I remembered them giving it to me and me opening it up. I remember, I teased Chris for signing his last name. I said something like, "Why'd you sign your last name, did you think I wouldn't know it was from you!?" I think I embarassed him but that wasn't my intention. Once in a while I find myself wondering if Chris knew how much I loved him, if he knew how proud I was of him, if he thought I was a good Mother and if he was happy. Deep down, I know if Chris could talk to me today, he would answer a definate YES! to all those questions...but at times I still wonder. I think it's because he left so suddenly and we never got to make our feelings known one last time....everything was and still is, suspended in time. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 16:47:54 (MST) Mrs. Kempa, ` I just want you to know, your car story had me crying like a baby too. Through this site you make us realize just a tiny fraction what it's like to lose a child and you make us realize why no one wants to. I can see very clearly how it never goes away, how it's omni present every day. Trust me, no one who knew Chris will ever forget him. I understand he's still talked about at Franklin over two years after his tragic death. God bless. Mother of a Franklin Senior - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 10:20:03 (MST) 1/27/03...The art is another 3D wireframe rendered model Chris created in Truespace. He most likely went on to fill in the detail and animate the character. Most unfortunatly, Adam was only able to discover and salvage parts and pieces of Chris' animations last summer. The photo was taken in October, 2000 by Chris himself. He took it in the mum portion of the front yard garden...the now badly neglected garden! I just love the color and perspective in this photo. We had a few friends over for Super Bowl....the third Super Bowl since Chris was killed. Not that he would have watched it, Adam W. didn't ...but he should still be here and have had that option...with each passing day, I am MORE and more convinced, had one driver not been on the road 11/20/00, Chris would still be here with all of us. The facts continue to be discovered. The Topaz is sadly now history. If Chris was still here it wouldn't have been a sad event. I know he would have been very pleased with his Dad's new car choice....and most likely by now would have driven it at least once! Adam said before he turned it in he almost ripped the insides apart looking for some Chris remnants...and he found some! A chewed purple guitar pick, a #2 pencil with the Jammerz Pentech logo on it, and the most definate of all Chris remnants,....a candy wrapper from some Japaneese candy he always bought at the Japaneese store at 6 Mile and Newburgh...the one he had me take him to so often. The wrappres of this candy have sayings on them. This one pictures some Japaneese writing on top and below, I guess the English translation, "...Sometimes excuses are like skin...VERY thin!!!"..... Fran Kempa - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:49:24 (MST) 1/26/03...The art is the very first, basic step of one of Chris' computer animations. Adam W. was so lucky and happy to find them when transfering things from our old computer to our new one this summer. He keeps them in a file titled "Truespace Grabs." If I am correct in my thinking....which may very well be WRONG, I believe the program Chris used to create his animations was called TrueSpace4 and what is shown is a 3D wireframe rendering....he would then fill in all the detail and then....make it move in some way! I was always amazed. I know there were many times I'd come upstairs to the computer room and find Chris at the computer and any one of many of his friends sitting on the fouton watching him. I'd say, "Chris, I'm sure your friends don't want to sit and watch while you work!"....and EVERY time, no matter which friend was over, they ALWAYS said, "NO, it's ok Mrs. Kempa, I am VERY interested in what Chris is doing!"....Something like that....So they sat and watched, while he animated. I even think certain friends hoped to learn somrthing from watching him. The photo was taken in December, 1986 during our parish Christmas party....shortly after Sister Gloria fired me from babysitting! Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 23:20:02 (MST) 1/25/03...The art was another drawing done in June of 1994 for Chris' California Here We Come project. He drew this picture as an intro to the landforms section. The photo was taken in December 1996 while Christmas tree shopping. For many years tree shopping wasn't such a happy event...more like a chore. Adam F. made us "shop around" for the tree. We'd go to about five different tree lots, finding a decent one at each, but having to check out some more. By the time we reached the last lot, we couldn't remember what we saw at which lot, because we were exhausted and NOT in the Christmas spirit by then! We wound up buying whatever tree at the last lot. It finally dawned on me and the boys one year to flatly refuse to "shop around"...he got one lot...his choice, and that's where we got the tree. We started going to Stanley Stempky's on Plymouth Rd and did so for years...including this past Christmas...the photo was taken at Stanley's. I have never felt any attachment or affection for a car. As long as it had air, automatic and ran well it didn't matter. We learned Friday the amount of the repair required for Adam's '93 Topaz wasn't worth investing in a 10 year old car with over 100,000 miles. When I heard the news..."new car time!" all I said was, "But that's Chris' car!" That is the car he SHOULD have been driving now. It's the car that was to become his, most likely in the spring of 2001. It's the car I took him to the Grant School parking lot in and let him drive around and around. It's the car he knew would be his some day so he always would say, "That's going to be mine so take care of it Dad!" It's the car that was mine before it was Adam's. It's the car that we spent one summer listening and singing to the Phantom of the Opera tape whenever we drove and one summer listening and singing to Paul Simon's Graceland tape whenever we drove. It's the car we took many trips to the beach and to Buffalo in...it's the car that has the most Chris memories in it... And once again, it feels like it's discarding another piece of him. As I drove behind Adam and the Topaz last evening...with that Chris, KEEP YOUR EYE(S) ON THE ROAD bumper sticker staring at me, I cried like a baby...as I am while I type this. Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 15:32:15 (MST) 1/24/03...The art is a picture of Chris' friend and fellow artist John Hicks. Chris took it for a first semester Sophomore year photo class, 1999. The picture was taken Christmas morning 1998, Charlie wearing Chris' Santa hat! I had another Chris memory for what ever reason this morning. In 1996, we thought we were doing a good thing and enrolled Chris in a weekly Saturday art class at a local art store...Art Store And More. He seemed open to the idea and attended the classes. A few months into the classes, we learned from someone at Chris' elementry school that Chris hated the lessons. This person happened to ask Chris how his lessons were going and he said Chris told him, "I don't like other people telling me how to do MY art!" After we learned about this we talked to Chris and he soon stopped attending...he just wanted to do his own art his own way and after that he did for the most part. VERY interesting Larry King Live Thursday night. Fran Kempa - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:22:10 (MST) 1/23/03...The art is Chris' altered school ID from 1997, seventh grade. He personalized everything! The photo was taken in August 1993, our fourth summer at Lake Huron. Chris LOVED that Sunkist boat. When we weren't at the beach it was small enough for him to use in the pool. I think Adam bought it one year at the annual Rosedale garage sale. I would like to thank Larry's Foodland for still having their Chriskempa.com sticker hanging in the office window! That really means a lot. Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 16:22:56 (MST) 1/22/03...The drawing we call HISTORY. Chris drew it in June, 1994 for a Fourth grade Geography project he called, "California Here We Come." The report was all about his assigned state..California. Chris drew this to depict the Gold Rush as an intro to the history section of the project. The photo was taken two months later, in August of 1994. That's Scott Allen leaving the water looking rather victorious!.. and Chris remaining behind. A few days ago a friend called me up. She was upset and I was concerned. I asked her what was wrong. She told me she continues to discover what the driver took from her. Our boys were the same age, friends, experienced the same life situations at the same time, shared similar talents. They should both be College Freshmen this year..but only one is. She can't pick up the phone and ask me if Chris is experiencing the same things..good or maybe bad..that part of our friendship was stolen from us. All I could do was sadly agree and remind her, the driver took one life.... but impacted SO MANY! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:36:30 (MST) 1/21/03...The drawing we call HALFGUY. Chris did this one sometime in 2000 shortly before he was killed. We found it in his art class sketch book after the fact. It's a drawing of a chubby guy exposing only his left eye...This one is signed with his smiley face signature but not dated. The photo was taken in August, 1990 our first summer at the beach. That's Chris and Katrina Deady building a castle....Chris SO loved the beach! Sunday night, one of our friends announced his next vehicle would be a Ford Ranger! I was shocked...I told him he couldn't drive a Ford Ranger...that was disrespectful to Chris. It suddenly seemed to dawn on him ..the reason why I was so shocked and truly upset. He promised us, it wouldn't be a white one and then very rightly pointed out the fact..the Ford Ranger didn't kill Chris...and we had to agree. Today on my way home from work I stopped at Larry's Foodland for just a few things. I was waiting at the deli, about the fifth person in line with only one deli girl. Needless to say I had a long time to think as I waited and it prompted another early Chris memory...When we moved into the neighborhood in 1983, Larry's wasn't Larry's. First it was a Kroger then it became Jone's Foodland, then Larry's...I'm not sure which year. In 1987...can't remember if it was Kroger or Jone's...I know it wasn't Larry's, Chris and I were at that very deli counter. Chris didn't like to ride in the little seat on top of the shopping cart, he LOVED to ride on the bottom. He was almost three and was in preschool at Jackson Center. Directly ahead of us there was an older woman of about 60 waiting her turn. As I waited, I felt a tug at my pant leg. I squatted down to see what Chris wanted. Chris very quietly said, "that's my teacher." He cupped his hands around his mouth so she couldn't hear... I had seen all of his teachers, they were all younger than I was so I knew that couldn't be. So I tried to say, "No honey, I think you have her mixed up with someone else"...something like that....but Chris INSISTED! The longer we waited, the more restless Chris became on the bottom of that cart and suddenly, he couldn't take it any longer...he ejected himself from the cart and started to run off...until the lady ahead of us said, "well, hello Chris!" ..which stopped him in his tracks. I asked her how she knew Chris and she told me she was the Director of the Jackson Center and knew Chris VERY well...which made me shudder!... but it turned out she knew him for MOSTLY positive reasons. Now that I've remembered it, I can remember it VIVIDLY...I even remember what Chris was wearing! Today as it became my turn at the deli, I tried to keep my chat with Jenny very brief as there were people behind me. After she finished my order and had placed it on the counter, she kind of put her hands around it so I couldn't take it right away. She said, "I have a question."... And I saw the tired looks I was getting from those people behind me. She said that she, her Mom and Dad had all gotten new cars and wanted to leave the Chris stickers on the old cars in case the new owners would keep them....they all wanted new stickers...I told her that was NO problem...that I would drop them off soon at the store....I will continue to have those stickers available and give them out as long as I live....In the future, there may be JETSON'S type vehicles flying around with Chris Kempa KEEP YOUR EYE(S) ON THE ROAD stickers on them!... Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 16:05:48 (MST) 1/20/03...The drawing we call GREEN. It continues to bother me for a couple of reasons. The photo was taken on August 25, 2000 at Grandma Kempa's. That's Grandma Kempa in front, Adam's oldest sister Mary, Adam, Adam, me and Chris. I found it interesting that I have my hand on Chris' shoulder...almost like I'm trying to hold on. One week later, Grandma Kempa would be dead at 83 and less than three months later, Chris would be killed at 16...but no one knew, we were in town for some happy family events and life was good! Just a few days ago, I went through a box Adam brought home from Grandma Kempa's in September. Inside I found 9 new pictures with Chris in them form 1984 to 1992....9 new pictures and 4 new Chris creations within one week of each other...after more than two years! Fran Kempa - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 15:27:14 (MST) 1/19/03...we call this drawing FREDDY. We don't know the story behind it but we wish we did...it might have been an idea for a comic book or a movie....we'll never know. The photo was taken 8/26/00, less than three months before Chris was killed. It was taken during my parent's 50th wedding anniversary party. That's Chris and Grandma Joan checking out one of the gifts! It's very hard for me to look at this picture. It not only shows EXACTLY what Chris looked like when he was killed....look at those arms!...it also shows the shirt and tie he was buried in....but he's alive!....very weird, very hard.... And even if you begin to try to imagine how that must feel...I pray you never truly do, let alone experience such a profound loss. Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 00:09:03 (MST) 1/18/03...We call this sketch FLAME. Just another little sketch Chris did on one of his school papers in 1999. The photo was taken in 1985. Me and my boys on the front step on Auburndale....what a life we had going back then...white picket fence and all! Also pictured in this photo is one of our original cats, Rusty....not pictured in the photo is our other cat at the time, Dusty. They were our first pets. Shortly after we got married in 1975, I decided we needed a pet. Since I was working at the time and Adam was in school, we decided on a cat ....even though I MUCH prefer dogs.....cats are less maintainence. A few weeks after we brought Rusty home from the SPCA, Dusty soon followed...I thought Rusty was lonely. They were both very good, nice cats. They moved with us from Buffalo to Oklahoma...they were there to greet Adam W. when he came home for the first time!....and they were very tame with him through his babyhood. They moved with us to Michigan and were there to greet Chris when he came home for the first time!...they were very tame with him through his babyhood...Chris loved the cats, he called them TETE...I think that was his baby talk for kitty. In 1992...at the age of 17, we lost both cats. Ironicly, Rusty was hit by a car!...a hit and run.... a neighbor was kind enough to let me know where he was and where I could retrive his body. Adam was out of town at the time... I really wasn't sure what to do...I brought a small box and a soft towel and scooped him out of the street. His injuries had to have been internal...there was no outward evidence of trauma thank God! I brought him home and put him in the garage!...I didn't know what to do with him...I had the Allen boys that day... After I broke the news to the boys, Scott and Chris asked to see Rusty and I took them to the garage and let them ...I remember pulling the towel aside so they could see him...I don't know if that was good or bad but it seemed right at the time. When Adam came home from his trip a few days later, he had Rusty cremated at the Wayne State animal lab. Shortly after Rusty was killed, we had to have Dusty put to sleep. He was VERY arthritic, blind and I believe broken hearted. We all moved to Berwick a few months later with one pet...Charlie the dog.. who missed his cats too! Yesterday at work the Hospice Chaplin appeared in the afternon. A few minutes later, the Hospice nurse came in. The two greeted each other and he...the Chaplin said, "I REALLY like your jacket!" And she the nurse replied, "Thank you!, I'll have to tell my son you liked his jacket...it's his..I LOVE to wear my son's jacket!".....And did that take me back in time....! Fran Kempa - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 22:58:38 (MST) 1/17/03..We call this drawing FIST ,it was done by Chris sometime in 1999 and is another that haunts me considering the events of 11/20/00. The photo was taken June 10th 1985, Chris' first birthday! This photo kind of captures the way he lived all of his short life....happy, enthusiastic...just anxious and waiting for life...and that's the way he left his life, HAPPY, ENTHUSIASTIC and just waiting to continue with his wonderful life! When we took this photo in 1985 we had NO idea what talents Chris would prove to be capeable of...and we had NO idea how limited the time he had to express those talents. Wednesday night as I was clicking around the TV channels, I stumbled upon a show I'd never seen before on HGTV.....CURB APPEAL. I don't remember much from the short time I watched....but it triggered a Chris memory! The home owners were putting their house numbers on the front door window....they were using decals....My mind raced back to 1989. We still lived on Auburndale......Years before...before we had kids, we purchased a beautiful oak chest at a garage sale. On Auburndale we kept it in the kitchen as a telephone table, on Berwick we have it in the computer room ....as an oak chest. In the summer of 1989, Chris had just turned 5, I recall walking in the back door from the back yard on Auburndale and seeing MANY Transformer transfers rubbed ALL over this oak chest.....Seems I had gone into the back yard for a few minutes to "garden" and Chris had decided to express himself for the day....he took this sheet of transfers...you kind of rubbed them off on to a flat surface....and they were all over this oak chest! I instantly freaked out anticipating what his dad would do ...but LUCKILY, Chris hadn't put much muscle behind the transfers...I was able to pull EVERYONE off! To this day, I don't know if Adam knows what Chris did....this one evening in the summer of 1989. Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 22:45:55 (MST) I for one have had major problems driving after a couple of family accidents to the point of panic attacks! MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 02:49:29 (MST) 1/16/03...This drawing is pencil on paper. Chris drew it some time in 2000 before he was killed. Given all the facts of 11/20/00 it still haunts me....the rearranged head...and those eyes! The photo was taken in Sept. 1990, Chris' first grade picture....he was SO cute! Tues. afternoon as I drove to the grocery store around 4:30, I listened to Dominsky and Doyle as I drove as I often do. They were broadcasting from the Auto show. The topic they were discussing during the brief time I drove was people who had survived serious car accidents. Two of their questions of callers hit home...do you remember the accident and did you have any trouble driving after? I was SO relieved to hear ALL of the callers I heard in the short time I drove say they had NO memory of the impact. That just confirms what a very kind young woman E mailed me shortly after Chris was killed. She was a former Franklin student who had been hit by a car...NO memory of the impact. I also talked to a very kind woman this Christmas who had survived a very serious car accident..once again, no memory of impact. And Rev. Carrie in Sept. 2001 who told me on impact, Chris was taken out of his body by angels and never felt a thing....all of these people give me hope....but I will ALWAYS wonder! The responses to the other question really surprised me. During the time I listend, not ONE person said they had trouble driving afterward...I can't imagine that. After Chris was killed, I wasn't able to drive for weeks...I can't imagine almost losing your life one moment then getting behind the wheel of the same insturment the next and driving....and I can't imagine taking a child's life with a vehicle one moment then being able to drive a similar vehicle the next...it will never make sense to me! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 22:57:30 (MST) 1/15/03...Chris did this ink on canvas left eye drawing sometime in 1999. After June of 2001 it took on a whole new meaning. Since 11/20/00 it has hung and continues to hang in our livingroom as a constant reminder...yellow frame and all. Mr. Rheault said they were in a hurry to get it ready for an art show and it just happened to fit that frame. The photo was taken in August, 1984. We went to Buffalo for Chris' Baptism. That's Adam's sister Virgie holding Chris, his God Mother, long time family friend Father Bob Mack, My brother Bill, Chris' God Father, Adam, Adam and me. After the Baptism we had a party at my parent's house. Sunday night I watched a lame movie on TBS abot JFK Jr. I must admit, I'm a sucker for such things. A few of the things two of the people on the street said during the movie were exactly what I said at the time...they were happy his mother wasn't alive to have to endure his death. This way, he was joining her...the way it should be but still too young and tragic. I also tried to imagine at the time how one mother could possibly endure the loss of two children at the same time..I tried to but I couldn't. 16 months later I did come to learn how it feels to lose one child...I can't imagine losing two. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:00:51 (MST) 1/14/03...Chris drew this cover for the Emerson Recognition Night in April 1997. He was 12 and in Seventh Grade. If you look above the eagle's head you can make out his signature. Most of the teachers in Middle School did not appreciate or encourage Chris' gift for art. There was only one teacher who did during his two years at Emerson..an English teacher, Mrs. Costa. She was the one who was insturmental in having this Chris design be used for the cover. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1989. We all had a rocky start to the Holiday that year. We all had some flu, never did get dressed, even for dinner. Charlie is eating his first meal in his new home and by this time Chris was following him around, amazed. We'd hear, "LOOK, he's eating..now he's drinking!" ..."oh, Oh...now he's pooping on the rug!" This went on for a few days. We had a running commentary from Chris. Sunday morning as I drove to work I heard the news about the death of Maurice Gibb. Soon after I arrived at work I heard the news repeated on the TV. Both the radio commentator and the TV news anchor said exactly the same thing..."Gibb was only 53, MUCH too young to die!" And all I could think was how I wish Chris could have lived to be 53...pretty old from a 16 year old's point of view. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 12:25:12 (MST) Creative Handsome Righteous Intelligent Soulful Theatrical Ongoing Prodigy Honest Ecclectic Reasonable Knowledgeable Extant Marvellous Perpetual Angel From a distance - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:51:08 (MST) Chris and Charlie in the kitchen of our home on Auburndale. I remember giving the boys the box with their new puppy on Christmas morning. They both just stared and said "its a dog". Charlie and both boys soon became fast friends. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 07:20:18 (MST) "Have you ever lost someone you couldn't live without?" Crossing Jordan <1/13/03> - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 21:00:28 (MST) 1/13/03...The drawing we call DUCKS and as you can see was done in 1993. The combimation of a signature and some kind of date on Chris' works is VERY rare. Some are only signed or initialed, a few have only a date but even fewer are both dated and signed. One of the works Mr. Rheault found last week is one of the very few that contain both...A very big CHRIS KEMPA in cursive AND the date, 5/7/99! The photo was taken in Buffalo in 1986 while visiting Grandma Joan and Bill. Chris is playing Bill's harmonica and is wearing his blue STAR WARS sweatshirt...a hand me down from Adam! When I looked at this photo today, I was drawn to his hands...they were so small. Chris hadn't exhibited any outstanding art ability at this point but very shortly after we began to see what those tiny hands could produce! Every one of my coworkers had something to say or ask about Chris today. It was coincidental but strange. Some asked me about his art, some asked what I thought he'd be doing today had he lived and some asked how I was getting through the whole ordeal. We have had many new people join our team since Chris was killed..it never dawned on me to bring any of his works in....I just kept thinking everyone saw many of them at the funeral home. So many new people were asking about his art today I asked if they'd be interested in seeing some.....they all very enthusiastically said, "yes!" The next time I work I intend to bring some examples. I will be very proud to show them to everyone. I would have been even more proud if the art continued today and I could show everyone how much better he'd gotten....which I have NO doubt he would have....such a loss. Fran Kempa - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 14:22:07 (MST) 1/12/03...We call this drawing DROID. It's pencil on paper and I believe was done sometime in 2000. The photo was taken in March 1984, 9 months old. He was a beautiful baby! My Chris pen ran out of ink today.I have been using a pen at work for the last several weeks that belonged to Chris. It's an Emusic.com pen. I have a bad reputation when it comes to pens...ALWAYS lose one and sometimes two per shift. People at work commented on the pen because it was so unusual. When I told them it belonged to Chris they were amazed I'd take the chance of losing it. But I would say no, I'm VERY careful with this pen and I was..never lost it but never took into account the fact that pens do run out of ink...so it did. I might try to find a refill. I also liked the way it wrote and the fact that it was blue ink not black...I am definatly a blue ink person...Chris preferred black. But then he did more drawing than writing and black is much better for that. Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 12, 2003 at 15:15:33 (MST) Dear Anonymous, In due time the FACTS shall be revealed, and everyone will know THE TRUTH. We trust that in God's perfect plan for this revelation. Ima Tellinudafacts - Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 19:05:10 (MST) i don't mean to be rude, but what is this "truth" that you keep mentioning mr. kempa? could you please reveal it to us?? anonymous - Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 12:12:49 (MST) 1/11/03...The art is a flyer Chris made for the band Derelict. It was a hastily put together band with Scott Allen, Danny Sperry, Andrew Schinsky and Chris as members, they played at the Autumn Bash 2000 that October. I believe the other boys knew it was just a temporary union, but Chris had BIG plans and high hopes for the band. He made the flyers....and what is SO strange, just the other day, I found a piece of denim fabric with "The Derelict" stenciled on it....it was sitting on the desk in the entry way. I intended to ask Adam W. where he found it but I kept forgetting. Friday afternoon I suddenly remembered and asked, "Adam, where did you find this Derelict patch?" And he replied that he hadn't!....He had seen it but thought I had found it...None of us knows where it came from!!...but we have it! The photo was taken in 1987. Chris in the Lazy Boy with two of his Christmas presents, his Mickey Mouse slippers which became shoes, hugging his Cabbage Patch doll that he insisted on naming "Charlie Mike"...I still hope to find him some day! What a WONDERFUL gift we were given Friday! Special THANKS to Jeremy Rheault for finding them and to Cori for delivering the four rediscovered Chris drawings! You HAVE to believe that was a Chris HELLO from HEAVEN! I think maybe he was having his first moment of boredom since he got there and decided to have some fun with his favorite art teacher Mr. Rheault! I can just picture him SMILING down on him as he discovered each drawing! I am SO happy that they were found now...more than TWO YEARS after he was killed...the gifts keep coming! I have said it many times before, and I say it again...We are SO LUCKY to have SO MANY treasures! That thought was driven home Wednesday night during our Compassionate Friends meeting. I sat next to a husband and wife who had just lost their seven month old son 86 days before....That was one of the points they made, at seven months, their son hadn't even said a word let alone drawn a picture, written a poem or a song....all they had to remember him were his clothes and toys...they badly wanted the outfit he died in, but for what ever reason, the funeral home THREW IT OUT! After listening to their tragic story...I felt VERY LUCKY! Fran Kempa - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 23:09:49 (MST) Mr. Rheault, please do not feel guilty that you didn't find these sooner. They are a wonderful surprise to us. A gift from you, Cori and Chris. We are excited to have them. Thank you very much, Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 14:45:22 (MST) It was quite a draining day. Standing in front of drawing one classes and showing examples of color and pastel works when Kempa drawings kept popping up! They knocked me out each time I found them. To explain, my student assistant and I were starting to organize works that I've collected and try to catagorize them so I could use them for demonstration purposes. We had piles of art on the big wooden table. 1st hr we found what was to be what I thought was an outstanding piece. A large pastel seated figure. 2nd hr another, 4th hr another, and in drawing 1 6th hr, I held up another one. It was crushing, hard in front of 32 students, the excitement passed from earlier, now I felt guilty that I didn't find these sooner. We had already worked out getting the 1st drawing to Cori or Jenna by 2nd hr with Kim's help. by lunch it was taken care of, the drawings would get to the Kempa's. I sent for Cori immediately during 6th hr to add the 4th to the drawings. The class assignments were when chris was a freshman or sophomore I think. That's when I first brought in the couch. I have can't believe this pile of work was not checked, but this fall I did do alot of rearranging in the classroom and cleared a lot of space from drawers, that's where I believe they were hidden with old 98-99 stuff. Hope these works give you some more input into Chris' early progress. The lessons were on color and figure drawing. Hope they reach you ok. Mr.Rheault, F.A.D. Mr. Rheault - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 12:30:38 (MST) Creative Handsome Righteous Intelligent Soulful Theatrical Ongoing Prodigy Honest Ecclectic Reasonable Knowledgeable Extant Marvellous Perpetual Angel From a distance USA - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 06:43:05 (MST) We just found another drawing of Chris's in with Mr. Rheault's examples. it is a man traced with a line being cut by scissors, done in pastels 1-10-03 J.W - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 06:40:34 (MST) 1/10/03..The art is one of many I like so much...we call it CROWS. It's marker on paper and was done some time in 2000. The photo was taken in Allen's basement...I'm not positive of the year but I'm sure it was 1997 or 1998..from left, that's Chris, Scott and Louis...judging by the long hair, I would have to say 1997. Wednesday night at our Compassionate Friends meeting we were given our THIRD Christopher Michael Kempa memorial ornament from the tree in Kellog park. I had forgotten about it...just shoved it into my pocket that night..... Thursday while grocery shopping, I suddenly felt the need to check for my car keys and as I checked my coat pockets, I found the ornament and was stopped in my tracks for a moment... Wednesday Adam W. and I shared LINNER at Mcdonalds. We talked about a surprising number of things,...some very serious, some very comical.... As we were leaving, and had just stepped into the parking lot ,Adam said, "look at that car!".....Had he not brought it to my attention, I don't know if I would have noticed it but right in front of me/us was a blue car with THREE Chris bumper stickers on it!...To the right and left of the trunk were CHRISKEMPA.COM stickers, and centered in the middle of the trunk was a Chris, "KEEP YOUR EYYS ON THE ROAD " sticker! I told Adam it had to be a Franklin student's car.....since try outs for WIZZARD OF OZ were going on...I'm just not sure who the car belongs to....but I was VERY happy to see it!! Fran Kempa - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 00:49:17 (MST) Last night we went to the corner to light a candle at Chris's memorial. Just as I stood up a car appeared behind me... as the passanger rolled down her window Fran walked towards the car... The young lady in the car said "god bless" That was all she said but it was enough. Thanks to her and thanks to all the people who are still leaving flowers and mementos at the memorial. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 14:00:10 (MST) "They say a mother's worst nightmare is the loss of a child. Even worse is the knowledge that a mother's child is responsible for the loss of another mother's child." Law And Order <Wed. 1/8/03> - Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 09:43:14 (MST) 1/9/03..The drawing we call CLAWS..another whimsical sketch on a school paper...for what ever reason! When ever the mood struck him, Chris drew!...And I am now SO thankful he did! We are SO lucky to have SO many TREASURES! The photo was given to us as a gift in a beautiful frame by Brad and Claudia... Memorial day weekend 2001..The first trashing of the Memorial. I don't recall the year exactly but we were told..and I can just see them!....that Scott and Chris were taking each others pictures one day for possible cover shots for their "new" CD!...I can see them in my mind doing just that! Tuesday afternoon we found ourselves in downtown Detroit for some business. Afterward we decided to go to Greektown once again, but this time decided on Pizza Papalis....it was late afternoon, early evening when we arrived...for a word the boys and I coined years ago..."linner." We figured if a combination of breakfast and lunch could be called BRUNCH....A combination of lunch and dinner could be called LINNER...much more accurate for our schedule! We arrived around 4:30ish and the Chris memories flooded in... In the summer of 1999, Chris had one of his works exhibited at the summer show at the then Center for Creative Studies. The three of us had attended the show for the previous few years but that was the first year Chris had entered a piece and had it accepted into the show! We decided to go to Pizza Papalis afterward to celebrate! We were seated Tues., just one table away from where we sat that evening...The service that night was VERY slow....Adam and I were very troubled by this...but Chris just sat there and drew...I have no memory of who, or what or why....but he DREW! And when the pizza finally came, he enjoyed it very much! Wed. night was our first Compassionate Friends meeting of the new year. For some reason, I found this meeting MUCH more emotional than many meetings past. Shortly after it started, the chapter leader Pat announced that the March meeting would feature the author of a new grief book...I don't recall the exact title but it was something like...I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL YOU GOODBYE....and did that hit home!... and the tears just came and only stopped at times during the more than two hour meeting. When we got home, I found myself questioning Adam, "It's never going to get better...is it?" And before he could say a word, I found myself answering my own queation....I believe it gets "different"...but it NEVER gets BETTER! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 23:24:28 (MST) 1/8/03....Yesterday's art is called CANDLE. It's pencil on paper...school paper, and was drawn in 2000. The photo shown yesterday was taken in March 1995, that years formal Basketball picture. Today's art we call CIGS...another one in Chris' anti smoking campaign.....Ironicly enough, I smoked for 17 years! From age 17 thru 34.. 1971 until 1988. I don't know if Chris remembered it but I told him. I started in Jr. year of high school..to be "cool"..going to an all girls Catholic high school, you have to do something! I started with Larks and ended with Salem Light 100's. Once I had kids though I made it a point first, to never smoke when I was pregnant then once they were born to NEVER smoke in front of them.... and I never did. I think that's what finally helped me quit..I was a very controlled smoker...5 a day at the most. When they were little and I had a day off, I wouldn't touch one until after they went to bed at night....then it was one right after the other! On the days I worked, I got all my smoking in there. In 1988 I got very sick and hadn't had a chest X ray in years. They took A LONG time to come back with the results and in that time, I convinced myself I had lung cancer. While I was waiting, sitting on that table in that hospital gown, I made a pact with God..."PLEASE dear God, if my X ray is negative, I PROMISE, I will NEVER smoke again." The words had hardly left my mind when the door burst open and the tech told me, "your X ray is FINE!" I thought "DAMN! if I'd just waited a few seconds, I'd still be smoking!" But I felt obligated to honor my pact and I'm happy to say I did! In the first few years, when I still had a rare craving, I'd tell Adam I would take smoking up again when I turned 70...but I don't feel that way any more. It's a thought LONG gone from my life. Today's photo was taken in March, 1993. Chris and Scott Allen with their trophies...their first year of Basketball completed! Yesterday, I had a funny Chris memory. A commercial I saw on TV reminded me of it. A few years befor Chris was killed, Ponds came out with a product to reduce under eye puffiness. It was a round jar full of synthetic material that resembeled cucumbers. The fake cucumbers sat in a liquid that helped puffiness around the eyes. I bought a jar and one week day afternoon, decided to try them. You had to keep them on your eyes for 15 minutes. I figured the best way to do this was to apply them and then lay down....which was something I NEVER did in the daytime! I turned on the bedroom TV, put on the fake cucumbers and tried to relax....about halfway through the process, the door burst open and Chris' familiar, "I'M HOME!" rang through the house. I called down, "I'm up here" and he raced up the stairs...He took one look at me and said, "Oh my God Mom, are you OK?" I reassured him that I was fine...just "resting." I then asked "Why?" He said he thought there was something wrong with me because first of all I was lying in bed in the daytime and he was also worried because there were "vegetables" on my face! When I told him what it was I was doing and why, he seemed rather disgusted..."you don't have to put vegetables on your face Mom!"... I repeated the process maybe once more after that...A long time after he was killed, while cleaning out the refrigerator, I threw the jar of fake cucumbers away...I didn't know how long they were good for and they had been there a LONG time! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 23:20:58 (MST) Miss you always... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, January 06, 2003 at 23:48:58 (MST) A hole in our room, or a hole in our lifes..... Thanks to all who showed up and tried to fill it...... <<<<<>>>>> <Dad> - Monday, January 06, 2003 at 01:30:04 (MST) 1/6/03...The painting is the one Chris gave to Nate Storey and he very kindly gave back to us on 12/24/00. In the lower right corner you can see his initials in yellow. The photo was taken in March, 1993, his first of many basketball teams, The Celtics! Our last hurdle is behind us and all traces of Christmas are gone! We settle back into every day life without Chris once again. I think Adam had a nice Birthday..I hope he would agree. He chose the same thing for dinner and the same cake that he has every year since 1987...baked ham, augratin potatoes, peas, corn, and the essential for special dinners..Pillsbury crescent rolls. The cake was the usual Duncan Hines fudge marble with chocolate frosting! I was telling my sister last night when she called how Chris was just the opposite. Every year it was a different cake. One year a Transformer cake, one year Fred Flinstone...one year I even made a beach scene using a bundt cake, Teddi Grams, paper umberllas and blue Reynolds food wrap. I saw it in a magazine..Chris loved it! We put different clothes on the Teddi grams with different color frosting! And every year his dinner choice was different, hot dogs, pizza, chineese...and most unfortunatly for his last birthday, he had no special dinner or cake...but who knew? That is just one example of how different they were....but at the same time they were so much alike..Similar interests, similar talents and goals...just different ways of going about them. Sarah joined us for dinner then three of Adam's friends joined us for cake...no one mentioned it but the elephant was in the room. Fran Kempa - Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 23:06:58 (MST) Hi Adam...happy 23rd birthday...you and cousin Kelly turned the same age about 4 days apart. I remember getting the call that you were born. May you continue to be the wonderful young man that you are and that your Mom has so lovingly talked about. I am sure your brother Chris is sharing this day with you Adam!! God Bless! JoAnne, Bill and Billy <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 07:37:48 (MST) 1/5/03...The art is the front of a card Chris made for me one birthday but I thought it was fitting to use today, Adam W.'s 23rd!! Birthday! The photo was taken 1/5/94, Adam's 14th BD. That's Chris...at his "spot" at the kitchen counter, Adam at his, and my hand placing the candles on the cake..14 and one to grow on!...Chris LOVED Adam's birthdays! He was SO excited about his 21st coming up on 1/5/01...shortly before he was killed we talked about it...Chris brought it up...he was JUST starting drivers ed and said to me how soon , not only could I teach him how to drive, but Adam could too....Dad was NOT an option! When he said that for some reason we talked about the vehicle he would learn with...and I'll NEVER forget this, like so many things...he said, "NOT the van Mom, it's too big!" His voice sounded almost scared so I tried to reassure him and said, "I agree, the van wouldn't be good to learn with. You can drive Dad's car..or even Adam's!" He liked that idea very much!...Neither one of us had ANY idea he wouldn't be alive for Adam's BD..let alone Thanksgiving! Happy 23rd Birthday to my most wonderful son...my earth child Adam whom I love SO much! So far I think we have helped each other through this life long, horrible ordeal. Some way, some how, I know Chris will be with him today as I pray he is EVERY day...Chris enjoyed Adam's Birthdays too much to miss one! Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 23:59:08 (MST) ...Memory is a form of immortality, those you remember never die, they continue to walk and talk through you...Their influence is always with you. Mrs. Kempa, you are TRULY keeping Chris alive! Another Viewer - Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 17:50:47 (MST) 1/4/03!....I noticed yesterday I was still in 1/02...How I wish I was still in 1/00! The art is the first BATMAN Chris drew after seeing BATMAN THE MOVIE in 6/89. The photo is his creative "snow monster." That was the day he came into the kitchen and asked if I had "anything to paint the snow"...and I gave him the food coloring and showed him how to mix colors..he LOVED it! That is another VIVID memory...I can still see us in the kitchen! Then he took the coloring outside and "painted" the monster by himself. I had a very strange dream the other night...I was taking one of Mr. Rheault's art classes at Franklin. We were writing a paper... I wasn't a high school student, I was still 48yr old Mrs. Kempa...everyone knew of Chris but he was dead in the dream..I know this because I had requested and received extra time to complete the paper having just gone through the difficult holidays without Chris. But for some reason, I just couldn't get going...I left everything for the last minute, including reading the book. When the day came to hand in the paper..AFTER the extension, I called in sick...because I hadn't done it! I don't know what it means, it was all so unlike me but I remember waking up and thinking and feeling how happy I was it was a dream...,happy I wasn't taking an art class. All I could attribute it to was the fact that JUST before Chris was killed he did a paper for Mr. Rheault's art class on Lichtenstein. We worked on it together at times...it was the last school project I helped him with. The very strange thing was WE received his graded paper back AFTER he was killed. That was just one more of those, "how can this be?" moments for me...Here I had this paper we worked on together, now it had a grade, but Chris was gone..I can't explain how that feels. More new things at the Memorial! We went up last night to dig it out and found a white teddy bear, a little brown teddy bear with angel wings, two red roses sticking up from the ground and buried in the snow, 4 yellow roses edged in peach. I left the red roses but took home the yellow...Once again, even though they had been buried in snow and looked limp and lifeless, I put them in water..just like the pink roses, one of the yellow ones rallied...it continues to bloom this morning! I told Adam that HAS to be a sign! Fran Kempa - Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 12:44:34 (MST) After the worst has happened, with nothing left to fear, The sun continues shining with undiminished cheer, and winds continue blowing and skies continue fair, as heartscontinue bearing the thing they could not bear. Anonymous - Friday, January 03, 2003 at 21:31:38 (MST) Mrs. Kempa ~ I love your theory...I am a true believer. You are in my thoughts and prayers, as always! Ms. Hillman - Friday, January 03, 2003 at 08:40:01 (MST) 1/3/02..The drawing we call BALL. I have no memory of when or why Chris did it. I don't remember if I'd ever seen it before Chris was killed. What is so interesting to me now is how it would have had little or no meaning to me if Chris hadn't been killed...but is SO telling after the fact! The photo was taken in Jan. 1989, Chris, Adam and their "snowdog!" For over two years now ,I have often reviewed and revised my coping mechanisms. My current theory is that Adam is my earth child, Chris is my heaven child...I was given Adam as a wonderful gift and he was destined to be a human on earth from birth... I was given Chris as a most wonderful gift, but he was only loaned to me for a short time. I was only nurturing and babysitting him...he was destined to be an angel from birth. I am very proud of the job I did, God gave me a challenge and I believe I've more than met it. Someone at Chris' wake said that she always envied the relationship I had with my kids because we were like friends. I believe that while I did try to keep a very relaxed relationship with them, it didn't take much given the right circumstances for me to revert to parent mode..I tried to keep a healthy balance and I believe my boys are proof of the fact that it worked! Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 22:24:12 (MST) His eyes in that picture are gorgeous! I see what you mean when you say he had the most beautiful eyes! The are just sparkling! I have no doubt the recipients of his eyes are seeing like they never saw before! Mary Saia <Westland> - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:55:48 (MST) mrs. kempa, I think you should call americas most wanted or the fbi to find out about aging the class picture of chris. good idea! with love - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:21:56 (MST) 1/2/03...We call this pencil drawing BALD. I'm not sure when or why he drew it. It looks to me like it could have been the start of some new character he created for a comic book or an animation but I'll never be sure. The photo was Chris' school pic from 1993. This is the picture I have in the gold angel ornament that I hung from the Biege Kmart angel at the top of the tree this year. Chris truly was a beautiful child in many ways! My memory was jogged the other day when I heard Wolfgang Puck is getting a divorce. They mentioned Food Network...which brought me to a Chris memory which took place not too long before he was killed...you never know what might spark a memory! In early Sept.00, after Grandma Kempa's funeral they had a luncheon. The four of us were seated at a table with Adam's brother Tony and his wife and his brother's son Michael and his wife. Chris was to my left, Adam W. was next to him and their grown cousin Michael was next to him. I'm not sure how the conversation started but soon Adam W., Chris, Michael and his wife were talking about the Food Network. They were focusing on Emeral and his BAM!! Having never watched the channel before I really wasn't sure what or who they were talking about. They then started talking about some cooking challenges on the same channel. What surprised me was how both Adam and Chris knew exactly what they were talking about and kept right up with the conversation. After a few times of trying to ask who and what they were talking about, Chris turned to me and said, "MOM!..I can't believe you don't know who Emeral is!" And I returned with the statement, "Chris!...I can't believe that you DO!!" Shortly after that conversation the boys left Buffalo alone together in Adam's car to attend a Weezer concert in Detroit. ...It was their last trip together and their last concert together...I'm SO happy I allowed them to go! Fran Kempa - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 14:34:36 (MST) 1/1/03...6:26 PM. Adam updated the web page for the new year! The art was done some time in high school but I'm not sure when. In this drawing, I can see the love and respect he had for art. Just the way he drew the hands holding the words, very carefully, very delicatly...it shows me he knew how beautiful and fragile art can be. The photo was taken shortly after midnight, 1/1/00...his last new years eve and last new years day. I'm SO GLAD we allowed him to spend it with friends! You can just see he had a good time with his sparkling grape juice....I think I've said before, Jones Soda was his favorite drink...but when it came to celebrating, sparkling grape juice was always his choice! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 16:35:20 (MST) Happy New Year Chris!!! Hope you had a good time bringing in the new year up in heaven!! i wish i was having a good time down here, but it's kind of hard when i have the flu lol happy new year to the kempa family also!! you guys are always in my thoughts and prayers!!! Katie B. - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 16:22:52 (MST) 1/1/03...Adam hasn't had a chance to update the page for Jan. yet....I thank God he is SO busy! The art is the computer generated character from 2000. The photo was taken at Disney World, 10/97. 2003!!...Chris was so looking forward to 2001 I can only imagine how he'd feel about 2003! I can only imagine more of what ended. More creations, only better...more humor, only better...more of that winning way with people, only better! I always said Chris was the funniest one in the house, then me, then Adam W., then Adam F. Chris and I found humor in just about anything and often played off each other. EVERY day he made me laugh a lot...often at myself!..I miss that! 2003 will be another year of "should have beens" that turned into another year of "that's the way it has to be" as a result of 11/20/00. Happy New Year! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 12:54:53 (MST) Happy New Year Chris !!! I will miss you, each month, each week, each day, each hour, each minute, each second, of 2003. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 01:28:58 (MST) We are sitting here about one hour before the new year is upon us...thinking of all of you and hoping that 2003 brings some form of peace in your lives. Much love...thoughts are with you...as always!! JoAnne, Bill and Billy <xxx> - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 20:59:23 (MST) My love to all of you as we end this year and are on the brink of a new year. Always thinking, always praying, always in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Nancy Nancy <Leistnanc @aol.com> - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 18:31:59 (MST) So many thoughts, so many feelings as we end this year and are on the brink of a new year. My thoughts are with Chris and with you, Kempas, as we begin a new year without the magical, extrodinary memory of the wonderboy,Chris. Happy New Year, and the best to all of you. My heart and prayers are with you everyday, forever as time goes on. Much love...... Nancy Nancy Leist <Leistnanc@aol.com> - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 18:27:21 (MST) Miss you always... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 11:00:38 (MST) its kinda hard with you not around ; know youre in heaven smiling down, watching us while we pray for you, everyday we pray for you till the day we meet again in my heart is where i keep you friend memories give me the strength i need to proceed strength i need to believe still cant believe youre gone id give anything to hear half your breath i know youre still livin life after death we miss you chris - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 00:36:09 (MST) 12/31/02...This whimsical sketch Chris did on a school paper one day, one year STILL haunts me! It's almost a self portrait from 11/20/00. The photo was taken New Years day 1998...Chris and Scott Allen. I think that was the last year we did our adult party at Allen's and kid party at our house...we all had SO much fun! Claudia and I always called the boys at midnight and they were always fine. We supplied them with noise makers, plastic champagne glasses and Happy New Year paper plates! I honestly think they loved it!...We STILL have some of those paper products! In the morning we cooked them all a breakfast...Scott and Chris are just finishing theirs in the photo. 2003!!...ANOTHER year of wondering...what would he look like?...what would he be? I fully intend to have his last school picture computer enhanced for aging...maybe 21, 25, 30 and on. I have no idea how or where to do this yet but I have time to do some research. I do know one thing for positively certain, 2003 will be another year of MISSING my Chris SO MUCH!!..The void is STILL SO glaring! Happy New Year to my sweet angel son Chris! I know he has accomplished many things since we've been apart, all of which I'd be SO proud of, just as I was SO proud of him on earth! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 23:17:31 (MST) MCS....I am sitting here chuckling because I think we all knew a Sr. Gloria....sends shivers down my spine. Franny, I can picture Chris in his most persistent ways of doing things back then....brings a smile to my face...good for him!! :)) JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 19:05:45 (MST) I think I know that Sr. Gloria or maybe her clones!! MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 14:23:03 (MST) 12/30/02...Same Batman The Movie drawing from 1989 as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1995...Adam, Chris in his Santa hat and Felix. The tree that year contained some ornaments made by the boys over the years. Christmas time 1998... which fell during my "simplify my life" campaign, I ALMOST threw some of those ornaments out! Thank God Adam talked me out of it! I had a funny Chris memory yesterday. Unrelated to Christmas, it just popped in my mind....In 1986, Adam had just started religious instructions at our then church. They were held once a week for an hour and I believe they were on Mondays. When I enrolled him, I was told they had all the instructors they needed but they needed another baby sitter...would I be willing to volunteer to watch the younger siblings of other students and /or children of the instructors? I figured it was only one hour a week, I'd be dropping Adam off anyway...and I could bring Chris...why not?.. so I told them I would. We arrived early the first week so Adam could find his classroom and I could be shown certain things. What I didn't figure into the deal was Sister Gloria..Sister Gloria was one of those nuns who makes you want to quit the religion. VERY stern, very opinionated..and not timid about expressing those opinions...and deep down HATES kids but it's understood, not expressed directly.....Needless to say, Sister Gloria and Chris...even though he was only two...DID NOT hit it off!! He was much too spirited a child for her..imagine, he wanted to PLAY and interact with the other kids during this hour, not sit at a table and read or do a puzzle. As a result, he was declared a "bad" child and I was a bad mother..the two go hand in hand...I decided to give it one more try the next week. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe Chris would be tired and not want to play... We didn't even last the whole hour! I was told I was fired and never to bring "That Child" back again! I told her she didn't have to fire me,..I quit. I also told her she didn't have to worry, I'd NEVER allow my child to be around her again! That ended my baby sitting career but Adam continueed in Religious instructions....we just ignored Sister Gloria! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 11:11:19 (MST) 12/29/02...Thr art was drawn in the summer of 1989 after Chris saw, BATMAN THE MOVIE. He drew Batman, Robin, Riddler and Joker. He had just turned five when the movie came out in June of that year. When I look at this primative drawing now and think where he ended up...as a driven artist 11 years later, I can't help but WONDER what he'd be doing today, two years after his creations were stopped. I KNOW he'd STILL be amazing me and many others...sometimes even himself! The photo was taken Christmas morning 1993. His big gift that year was a drawing desk for his bedroom....We still have the desk although it had been replaced by another more intricate one in his bedroom just a few months before he was killed. The desk from this photo is in the basement...I fully intended to throw it out when we moved it down there in 2000...I'm SO happy I didn't. It's white formica....and EVERY inch is drawn or written on...pictures, poems, songs, phone #'s...all done by Chris in black marker!...What I once considered garbage is now such a treasure! Adam W. still uses it in the basement for some music related things and I have a feeling, when he leaves for his own home, Chris' desk leaves with him...I should say Chris' desks leave with him, I think he'd like the one currently in Chris' room too. I think that would be great. It was so nice to hear from John Hicks again this Christmas...also known as, KING OF ROCK! Contained in his message was one line that really got me,..."I've told some of my friends about the amazing artist who should have been starting at school with us this year"... You're right John, Chris SHOULD be at CCS with you this year...it would have been SO AMAZING! He and we would have been SO proud and SO thrilled!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 16:08:33 (MST) 12/28/02...Same altered eye drawing as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas evening, 1992. Chris, Adam and Adam with our traditional Birthday cake and ice cream desert. This year we broke two Christmas traditions. It was the first time in our lives we ever had Christmas dinner some where other than our home, or the home of a family member.....Thank God for good friends!....Christmas dinners 2000 and 2001 were pretty bleak with just the three of us. As a result, it was the first time in many years we didn't have our usual desert. We did the cake on the 26th...poor Ryan B....he came over just as we were getting ready to sing so he got roped into it! Our third annual Fall/Winter marathon that begins on 11/20, the day Chris was killed and ends on 1/5, Adam W.'s BD is just about completed...with ALL the hurdles in between. We are getting better at getting through the holidays and special occasions, with the end goal being getting them over with. Since we are forced to participate in this marathon every year for the rest of our lives, I imagine some day we'll have it mastered! Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 14:17:03 (MST) 12/27/02...The drawing was done some time in High School, I'm not sure when or why...but once again, find it very interesting that an eye is very altered. The photo was taken during Christmas, 1989...One of the first pics of Adam, Chris and Charlie! Adam W. resumed a tradition this Christmas that we had sadly abandoned for some years..even a few before Chris was killed. As one of our gifts, he gave us a 500 piece Beatles "Hard Days Night" double sided puzzle.....For YEARS it was TRADITION to have a Christmas puzzle. We always got one the boys could relate to...HE MAN MASTER'S OF THE UNIVERSE one year....even MR. T one year....gold and all! We started with 500 pieces and worked our way up to 1,000 before we stopped the tradition...I don't know why. It was so much fun...it was something we could all do together...Adam W. was the best puzzler..his strategy was, "do the boarder first"...and it always worked..we would start it Christmas night on the dining room table...and it would stay there for days until we finished....we all enjoyed it so much! We talked about preserving a few...I know there are ways..but we never did. When we were at Allen's Christmas night, Sarah said her Mom wondered why I didn't accompany them to the ER Christmas Eve night. I explained to everyone around that my read on the subject at the time was that it was NOT a life threatening issue and they were both adults....I very STRONGLY sensed they did NOT want one of us to go with them...they could handle it themselves...Sarah confirmed my read. What I didn't tell everyone at the time was "the rest of the story"....as Paul Harvey would say...deep down inside, I couldn't bring myself to be in an emergengy room one day before Christmas with my last surviving child as I had been three days before Thanksgiving two years prior with my baby....had it been life or death...I WOULD have been there..we were in telephone contact, and I didn't sleep worrying the whole night..but I couldn't be there. I have prayed every night since it happened that Chris is helping Carlo, Sabrina and Melissa...not only did they share a church in common but I understand Sabrina was very creative and artistic, just like Chris. Melissa was very out going and bubly...just like Chris...I pray and know he is helping them. Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 23:50:39 (MST) 12/26/02...Yesterday and today's art is the cute sketch Chris did in 5th or 6th grade. Travis Messinger was kind enough to loan it to us last year! I believe it's a self portrait of Chris wearing his Santa hat. Yesterday's photo was taken on Christmas morning 1995, Chris in his Santa hat. Today's photo was taken on Christmas morning, 1997. Chris playing with Felix and Charlie and their gifts...Chris is trying to lure Felix with a fishing rod and a cat nip mouse as bait. In the background, you can see Chris' stool, the one he sat on at his "spot" at the kitchen counter. On the rare occasion the three of us eat dinner together these days, we all still sit in our "spots."...Chris' remains glaringly empty. Christmas 2002 proved to be different in many ways. Some good, some pretty awful. Christmas Eve day proved to be full of running last minute errands, shopping, wrapping....and a visit to the cemetary. I stood alone and wept at his grave. Christmas Eve Adam and I were enjoying a wonderful ham dinner together when a friend very unexpectedly but very welcome, showed up at the door. He joined us for dinner, there was plenty. Adam and Sarah were to join us later in the evening to open gifts. As it turned out, Adam and Sarah spent Christmas Eve night in the Emergency Room for thank God, a non life threatening issue, but an issue none the less. I made SURE he did NOT go to St. Mary's. They were returning Christmas morning as I was leaving for work after a rather sleepless night...but all was well! We found time in between my arriving from work and leaving for dinner to open the gifts we intended to open the night before. We decided to open them in our new room in front of the fireplace rather than in the living room in front of the tree..more comfortable and spacious. That was Chris' only problem with our new house....he missed carpeting in the living room on Christmas morning! We have wood and an area rug..that was the only time he missed it but EVERY year as he sat on the floor opening gifts he'd say, "I wish we had carpet like we had on Auburndale!"...So he very much would have approved of our new opening arrangement. The gifts were plentiful and thoughtful...Sarah some how managed to find the Trivial Pursuit 20th Anniversary edition that I wanted so much! The dogs were distracted and busy opening their own gifts. Speck is getting better, Charlie is STILL the expert! Shortly after gifts, we joined the Allens and many of their family members for another very excellent dinner. During dinner, Scott revealed he and Cori had gotten Chris tattoos on their joint birthday, Dec. 15th! It's the same art Lauren chose, the teddy bear...I was very surprised but thought it was very SWEET! After their extended family left, we sat and talked with Brad and Claudia...very enjoyable as usual. Sarah came over and joined the boys in the basement. As we were leaving, Scott had a friend named Casey over...not Casey Mack, a Casey I had never met...but he said he knew Chris, met him at Rosedale Park. The last two days have been very busy and very full, with an understood but unspoken longing in the background for Chris....I miss my Chris SO MUCH!! Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:56:24 (MST) Thinking of you today as always.... JV <xxx> - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 06:41:17 (MST) Merry Christmas Chris, miss you always.. Dad Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 14:59:21 (MST) i just want to wish a merry christmas to the kempa family!! my thoughts and prayers are with you and always will be!! MERRY CHRISTMAS CHRIS!!!!!!! Katie B. - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 12:15:26 (MST) My thoughts and prayers are with you this Christmas...may your memories and the love of family and friends comfort you and bring you peace. The beige angel is surely smiling on top of your tree! Ms. Hillman - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 08:23:26 (MST) Merry Christmas to Chris and the Kempas. I still miss my friend so much! XOXOXO - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 22:45:44 (MST) To my dearest family that I left behind, I need to touch your heart tonight. For it's Christmas and you're missing me, And the season doesn't seem bright. While others are celebrating the Holiday, You find it hard to do the same. You watch other families gather in splendor, While you tearfully mention my name. I know it was painful for you this year, To decorate your Christmas tree. For you cried as you hung each ornament, Your thoughts were focused on me. You shopped for presents for others, Although you felt out of place. When each day was over I could see, Lonliness written on your face. You can't seem to get into the spirit, To enjoy any festivities this year. But think of the Christmases past, And you'll feel my presence near. Yes and I come tonight to let you know, I'm happier than I could ever be. I'm spending my Christmas in Heaven... With the one who died for me. So go out and feel that Christmas cheer, Listen to the choirs as they sing, And know that I'm happier than I've ever been... Spending Christmas with the King. Christmas With The King <Kaye Des'Ormeaux> - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 19:45:33 (MST) 12/24/02...The art is the same bicycle still life as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas eve, 1991...our last Christmas on Auburndale. Chris is sliding the reindeer water over to the milk, cookies, and carrots. I had an old and new holiday memory of Chris tonight. YEARS ago...before we had Charlie, I bought some very nice ceramic Christmas refrigerator magnets at Big Lots. They came in sets of two. One of the sets was two lists on white scrolls, edged in gold. One was Santa's good list, one was Santa's bad list. Both lists contained names that did not apply to our household. I used them for a few years....and then we got Charlie..Charlie was one of the names on the bad list. Not the Christmas we got him, but the next, Chris INSISTED I take a black marker and cross Charlie's name off the bad list..."Like Santa made a mistake."...and I did. They hung on the refrigerator every Christmas after that with Charlie crossed off the bad list until 1999.....I know we still have them, I just didn't look very hard for them this year. In the summer of 2000, Adam W. received notice from Wayne State's College of Engineering that he had made the Dean's Honor List. It was a very official looking document and needless to say, I was VERY proud. I decided to frame it. I went and purchased a nice gold frame that turned out to be too small. I fully intended to return or exchange it. It sat for months on the dresser with the receipt. For some reason, around the end of September, I had what I thought was a WONDERFUL idea! Since I decorated just about every room for every holiday, I decided to take the frame, and put the pictures from greeting cards in it and hang it in the downstairs bathroom!...Using greeting cards, I could easily change the picture for the holiday. The first person I shared my idea with was Chris...being so creative, I thought he'd be impressed....I vividly remember holding the frame with a Halloween picture in it and explaining my plan to him. He didn't laugh but he smiled and said, "Mom, you are so weird!"...but I could tell he kind of liked it....he smiled. On November 1, 2000, I removed the Halloween card from the frame and put in a card with a harvest type picture....that picture hung in that bathroom for MONTHS...it didn't matter anymore what the holiday or the season was...Chris was gone. Today, the same frame hangs in the bathroom with a picture of Santa Claus...I hope Chris is smiling! Sunday I was telling someone that I TRULY believe Chris IS in a better place...for him...NOT for me. I STILL would much rather have him here on earth with me. I can't imagine any parent...any Mother with living children saying, "I would much rather have them in Heaven than here on earth." I don't care how Christian you are, I can't imagine ANY parent making that statement...and if they did, I would definatly think there was something wrong with them.....Merry Christmas. Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 00:09:10 (MST) I guess if I could make just one Christmas wish, I would wish I could see you To hold, to snuggle, to just kiss, This is something I'd really like to do. My arms ache for my baby boy, Who will always remain just that. To never grow up and experience joy, I wish I knew where you were at. Why is it God thought He needed you more than I, And why is it wishes can't come true? I am just an aching heart who can only ask why, And a mother who can't let go of you. Please God grant me this one Christmas wish, If just for a minute, an hour or a day. He is someone I really need and miss, What more must I say? A Mother's Christmas Wish <Written by Beckie / Heaven's Angel> - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 21:29:30 (MST) The art is a copy of the original amazingly detailed bicycle still life Chris did in I believe Sophomore year. It's the one that was accidently thrown out in the art room but none of us were concerned. We, Mr. Rheault, and Chris all had the attitude, "I'll/he'll just do more."...and he did! The photo was taken in December, 1989. Adam had figured out the Santa myth LONG before this photo was taken but played along for his brother. It's beginning to LOOK like Christmas around this house...I wonder if it will ever FEEL like Christmas again. Even though this is our third Christmas without Chris, it truly is the first. Christmas 2000 we were like stunned robots going through the motions, last year, the house was torn up...we didn't have to decorate...this year we have to face it without fog or shock to protect us, and carry on the traditions...at least some of them. We finished the tree yesterday....I had some memories that made me laugh, and many that made me cry. I found the "Naughty Stocking!" I have no memory of when or where I got it, but I've had it for YEARS. It's a small mesh stocking full of coal! On the top is a picture of Santa and it reads, "He checked his list, he checked it twice, you showed up naughty instead of nice!" Every year after the boys stopped believing in Santa, I would put this stocking inside one of their stockings as a joke...Adam F. was also included...I never got the naughty stocking since I had control of it!...Adam W. rarely got the stocking, he was never naughty!...I honestly believe it went back and forth between Chris and Adam F.!...Unfortunatly, I can't remember who got it in 1999...I think it was Chris!...We haven't used it since and won't again this year. We found the ornaments made by Katie and Jenny Macleod and their Mom Sue...I had totally forgotten about them until yesterday.....Before there were Chris pins, shirts and bumper stickers, there were ribbons, lovingly made by Katie, Jenny and their Mom. The last day of Chris' wake, they passed out blue ribbons at the funeral home. Just about everyone at the funeral , including me, wore their blue ribbon. On Dec. 7th 2000, Katie and Jenny attended the Franklin art show where so many of Chris' works were featured. There they passed out Christmas ornaments in memory of Chris. They are clear balls that contain the blue ribbon and silver glitter. At the top is a silver bow...I HOPE I thanked them then...but I so thank them again...when we discovered the ornament yeaterday, I cried! Last year the only ornament I hung on our table top tree was a small golden angel with a picture of chris in it....This year, I took the same ornament and hung it off of the beige K Mart angel at the top of the tree....I KNOW neither one of us had ANY clue that night he found the "Perfect" tree topper, I'd be hanging an ornament in his memory from it!..I cried, I had to walk away and Adam finished decorating the tree. There are MANY new things at the Memorial! I hadn't been there for a while and when we went up Sat. night, I was VERY happy to see all the Christmas Chris momentos. The last time I was up there I took home the beautiful pink roses someone had left. I don't know how long they were there, but of the four, one SURVIVED the cold and bloomed...it's STILL blooming in the vase we put it in! I have NO doubt, once again this Christmas, Chris gave us a gift....in the form of a visit from a stranger with a VERY comforting message... and I THANK her! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:37:13 (MST) 12/22/02....The art is the same anti smoking painting Chris did sometime during his shortened High School career. The photo was taken in December 1987. I made the mistake of going to a Toys "R" Us yesterday..the first time I'd been to one since Chris was killed. I was trying to find the new Trivial Pursuit edition. Who ever is responsible for the new store layout should be PUNISHED! I felt like I was in a maze...and didn't find my game. Chris and I went there together at least a couple times a year to check out the new video games. Chris kept up on the newest ones by reading this magazine, I think it was called Video Game Monthly..something like that, I know monthly was the last word. He would often have me take him to Media Play, they sometimes had the actual game set up in the store to try out and Chris did. Yesterday, just like last year, it was as if the bad joke was repeated...EVERY time I got back in the van, there was a Ford Ranger next to me! Once again, none were white but they STILL make me cringe...they are SO small! We're getting Christmas together in a modified fashion, but with a very heavy heart. My heart is heavy EVERY day, but lately much more so. I still so resent the fact that certain decisions made by certain people ended Chris' life and caused us to redefine ours...and we will have to continue to do so every day of our lives for the rest of our lives. On the very top of the very first bin of Christmas decorations I opened last night sat the biege K Mart angel! It is on the top of the tree. This morning Adam F. pulled out the Christmas throw and said, "Aren't you going to use this?" and I said, "No that's the one Chris used to wrap himself all up in and you used to yell at him, don't you remember?" It's a throw I used to put on the chair in the sunroom. It has toy soldiers on it and Twas The Night Before Christmas is written on it. My Mother gave it to me one year...Chris LOVED it! And he would wrap it all around him. His Dad would tell him not to...he saw it more as a decorative item, Chris and I would tell him.."It'a a throw, that's what they're for!" But I honestly think Chris would sometimes heavily intwine himself in it on purpose..just to get a reaction from his Dad...and it ALWAYS worked!...I'm not ready to use the throw yet this year. Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 11:05:17 (MST) In the hustle bustle of the holiday season...I stop and think of your grief and hope that you are finding some happiness this Christmas season. Thinking of you always.... JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 13:49:22 (MST) The poem written by "the friend" from FHS is terrific! I was very impressed with it. I am glad that you got a tree and I bet Chris is glad that you got one also. Bill Vaughan <wtvjr1@adelphia.net> - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 06:11:55 (MST) 12/21/02...The painting is one Chris did to express his views on smoking...a skeleton smoking. The photo is one of my favorites and was taken Christmas night, 1985. We got a tree Fri. night. No excitement, no enthusiasm..but we got a tree. I have told many people recently how I look back and can't believe how we pulled off Christmas 2000. We did everything except the mantle,...we even had stockings...and I don't know how we did it. We all agreed, it had to have been the shock that got us through that year....I wonder what will get us through this year?...Maybe Speck! We had no tree last year so this will be his first...He's already been running through the house with a Christmas tree branch in his mouth! Fran Kempa - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 22:17:43 (MST) 12/20/02...The art is the same early animation as yesterday. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1985. As you can see, the tradition of Chris and his Santa hat started early. Thurs. evening, Adam W. and I went on what has now become our annual shopping event..until three years ago, it was both boys and my annual event. The first store we went to was Best Buy for some things for Adam. The line was VERY long and wrapped around the store. I waited in line with the items while Adam hunted for possibly more. Directly ahead of me was a couple who were about 30 I would say. They were bikers...fit the complete sterotypical picture....down to the black leather and tattoos. It was a long wait and we found ourselves talking about a number of things...as the line progressed, we found our selvers in different areas of the store, and each area formed the topic of conversation...we talked about books, music, movies....appliances! Then the man pointed to the Chris button on my purse strap and asked, "Who's that?" I replied, "That's my son." He asked, "Why do you have him on a button?"....So I told him....then he told me in no uncertain terms what he would have done if Chris had been his child.. Fran Kempa - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 09:26:52 (MST) I searh a parchment of christmas for a friend who help me. Jeannine Dufour <chatonne@globetrotter.net> - Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 11:01:59 (MST) 12/19/02...The art is another one of Chris' first animations done in flip book style....as you can see, on note book paper. He drew each frame, labeled them...then somehow animated them....A guy smoking...I can't believe how many of Chris' friends are smoking these days...kids he and I NEVER would have imagined. Chris always thought smoking was "stupid." I have no idea...maybe he'd be smoking now too...but I doubt it...his thoughts on the subject were very strong! I think he'd be disappointed and be trying to convince his friends to stop...but I could be wrong. I have NO idea how he would have changed...for the good or bad. All I can go with is what I was left with and I am so happy to say, it was all GOOD!...At that age, I can't imagine it would have changed all that much. The photo was taken Christmas morning, 1985. Adam and Chris checking out the reindeer remnants! Wed. after work, I decided I should play some Christmas music...maybe that would help get me in the mood...get a tree in this house, START my Christmas shopping... I wanted to find the Manheim Steamroller tape we loved and played for YEARS. I started going through the tapes on the shelf in the sunroom...About the third tape I picked up made me cringe and I dropped it....It read, "FATAL #......11/20/00.. COPY" It was one of our copies of the 911 tape. I had forgotten we had just put one up there with the other tapes...weird! I didn't listen to it though..I didn't have to....I will NEVER forget that FLAT affect. I found the tapes I was looking for and some CDs which brought me back to Christmas 1999... Adam w. had given me three CDs as gifts...actually four, one contained two CDs..Peter, Paul and Mary In Concert. When I opened that one it brought back memories at the time...a friend had given me the same recording, but in double album form, 28 years earlier! The other two were Peter Paul and Mary 10 Years Together, and Joan Baez Greatest Hits and Others...I was thrilled! After we all finished opening our gifts Adam W. was in the basement with the new Playstation game, Adam F. was in the sunroom doing whatever and Chris and I were in the Livingroom...still in our pajamas. He was lying in the couch playing the new game for his Neo Geo...I was sitting om the floor while I listened and SANG to my new CDs. I asked Chris several times..."Isn't this good?..Don't you like this music?" For the most part, he didn't answer me, just looked up from his game rather disgusted....he finally said, "I can't believe you're playing regular music on Christmas!"...and with that I suddenly knew he truly appreciated and enjoyed all the Christmas music I had exposed him to every Christmas...starting with Thanksgiving, since he was born...I quickly switched back to Christmas music, the Celine Dione Christmas CD I had purchased about a month before.....not his favorite but he tolerated it...it was Christmas music! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 23:06:47 (MST) I wrote a poem dedicated to Chris shortly after his accident, but always kept it to myself. I think that now I am ready to share it. If didn't, there would be no chance of it doing anything, whereas, if I add it to the guesbook, maybe it'll help a few people feel better. Guiding Light We all used to come to you, when our lives were blue. We've all missed you dearly, since up to heaven you flew. you meant so much to all of us, you were our eveything. The day you passed away, we heard the angels sing. You were there when skies were gray, and when skies were bright. You meant so much to all of us, you were our guiding light. You were the light that helped us through life, no matter what it threw. You were the light that always knew, just what I had to do. You were always there for me, no matter what was wrong. So it is for you, that I sing this song. I remember that day, that infamous day, that day you went away. The day you got the call, that god didn't want you to stay. He must have had a reason for taking you that night. He must have had a reason for taking my guiding light. A friend from FHS - Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 16:56:06 (MST) Miss you always... Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>>> - Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 15:10:08 (MST) 12/18/02..The art is the same piece we discovered in Chris' sketch pad AFTER he was killed. The photo was taken Christmas evening, 1984. This picture began what should have been a lifetime tradution, and WAS up until Christmas 1999...the LAST Christmas the boys and Charlie had their picture taken in front of the fireplace. Sunday, I visited the cemetary and adjusted Chris' grave blanket. There were MANY willow leaves caught with in it and I freed them. As I drove out of the cemetary, a Christmas carol came on the radio....one I was not at all familiar with....the theme and chorus was, "I miss you most at Christmas time!"......And as I drove, and passed NUMEROUS graves and grave recognitions, I couldn't help but wonder HOW MANY people besides me, are are MISSING their child at this time of year!....I KNOW the number is infinate!! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 23:00:26 (MST) We're wondering what Christmas in Heaven is like, As we grieve alone and pray, Longing for the one who has gone before, To spend Christmas in Heaven today. And so in our dreams we wander far, From the scenes and the sounds of earth, 'Til we catch the sounds of the Heavenly choir, As they sing of the Christ Child's birth. The angels we envision there, As they join in the restal play, And there among the throng is our loved one, Spending Christmas in Heaven today. There's joy in the faith that teaches, When our life's work is done, Of a place in Heaven awaiting, And the crown we worked for is won. In our grief may we learn well the lesson, So to work and suffer and pray As to merit the joys of our loved one, And to spend Christmas together some day. Christmas In Heaven <Author Unknown> - Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 17:10:42 (MST) 12/17/02...The art was found in Chris' sketch book after he was killed...another one we'd never seen before. The photo was taken Christmas morning 1984. Christmas 1992 was our first Christmas on Berwick. Adam had a thing on Christmas morning, a fire had to be going in the fireplace before the boys could come down to open their presents. We had moved in April and had had maybe one or two fires before Christmas morning. Our fireplace on Auburndale had two chains hanging from the flue....one had an "O" hanging from the end, and one had a "C"...for open and closed....the one on Berwick doesn't have any indicators. Adam started the fire and the boys came down and started with their stockings...as time went on, the living room was becoming quite smokey..."Are you SURE the flue is open?" I asked more than once....and he reassured me it was..."Bad wood" he thought. Soon after that it became quite clear there was a problem...the smoke was thickening and soot was begining to form....The boys and I went upstairs while Adam was left to deal with the problem...they naturally were upset with the interruption in their Christmas. After he had aired the house and considered it safe, we came back down. When I told Adam I KNEW the flue wasn't open he replied that it "was open, just not all the way!" The boys opened the remainder of their presents in a very cold living room as I washed the soot off the wall above the fireplace! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 16, 2002 at 22:42:30 (MST) Chris, I know that I haven't written you, even though we've been best friends for 4 years, but I think that the pain is gone. no one knew that we were best friends, and no one knew of the pain that i have suffered since the day you died. I still remember the day I met you. Me and my friends were coming up with an idea for starting a band. We were all good at an instrument and we had the skills to write songs, but we weren't sure if we were good enough. But then you heard us and you said, play that song again. so we played it and you said, that's song kicks so much ass that it'll make people stand for weeks!! Because of what you told us, 2 years later, the band, Lilaliendude, was born. Although no one really knows who we are yet, we are trying to make somethin' of ourselves. I never really got a chance to say thanx for the inspiration, so thanx!!! well, i got to go. Peace in the afterlife!! Terrif "Q-Tip" Terrif Baydoun <Eighteenvisions15@yahoo.com> - Monday, December 16, 2002 at 08:54:38 (MST) 12/16/02...Same early animation as yesterday. The photo was taken in December, 1984. Adam's 5th Christmas, Chris' FIRST! Some where along life we purchased some jingle bells...REAL ones! They're on a leather strap and are very large..definatly jingle bells. We had them when we just had Adam..before we had Chris...we STILL have THEM! For MANY years on Christmas Eve, our tradition became, going to 5 o'clock Mass, coming home, opening ONE gift, having dinner, putting out the cookies and milk for Santa, Carrots and water for the reindeer... just the four of us...then going up stairs for a bath. For many years the boys bathed together...that was easier for all of us..Adam and I prearranged the ringing of the jingle bells....when they were in the tub, I'd blink the lights once and he'd be outside RINGING those bells!...I'd be inside bathing those boys and saying, "Oh my gosh!, did you hear that!...Santa MUST be near!!...we'd better get to bed!!" It worked EVERY year. When both boys believed, they were both excited!...When Adam had figured it out but Chris hadn't, he happily tolerated it!!...It was FUN!! A VERY HAPPY belated birthday to Cori Smith who turned 18!! on the 15th...the LOVE of Chris' life at what became the end of his life..AND Scott Allen who turned 19 on the 15th!!!...One of Chris' two LIFE LONG best friends!! I KNOW Chris would have celebrated with them...together or seperatly,...Birthdays were VERY important to Chris!...I know Cori and Scott would both confirm that...He ALWAYS remembered!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 23:02:42 (MST) 12/15/02...The art is one of Chris' first primative animations. This one was drawn by hand in flip book fashion, not computer generated. While he soon considered it primative ....to this day, it's WAY over my head! I wouldn't have the first clue how to draw, let alone animate. The photo was taken at Christmas time, 1986 in downtown Buffalo. For YEARS one of the department stores in Buffalo...AM&A'S had an amazing mechanical store front window each year for Christmas...Every year there was a different theme. It had been tradition since I was a child, to go downtown to see AM&A'S window each year. For a few years, it became a tradition for my kids too. Sadly, as in many cities including Detroit, many stores are closing..I can't remember the exact year they went out of business, but it's been a LONG time. I'm having some Christmas Chris related memories lately. As they come to me, if I don't jot at least a key word down, they're gone almost as soon as they've come. When the boys were young, the parish we belonged to didn't have a Christmas tree, but what they called a "Giving Tree." It was in fact a Christmas tree decorated at first with only numerous gift tags on it. A few weeks before Christmas..and I don't recall the exact time frame...before Mass you could go up to the tree and take a tag...they were pretty generic and read for example, "Boy 14, game." Both boys took a big interest in doing this each year...but we ALWAYS had to get a boy tag! Then the three of us shopped for the gift and after we wrapped it, the tag was put on the gift. On a certain Sunday, ...and again, I don't recall exactly how soon before Christmas, we brought the gifts back to church and the boys placed them under the then decorated Christmas tree...the boys loved it! There was one year, all the tags were taken before we could get ours and they were VERY disappointed. One evening in December, 1999, I took off alone for the malls to finish up my shopping. I had been to Westland Mall, and on the way home, decided to stop at Wards in Wonderland Mall...now since closed! I didn't spend much time there and when I came out, I couldn't find the car! I was becoming frantic as I walked up and down the rows of cars in the darkness. I wasn't worried about the car so much, but about all the gifts from Westland Mall contained in it! I finally gave up, went into the doorway of Wards and called home..luckily, I had my phone. As it turned out, the only one home was Chris. He was very sympathetic and tried to be reassuring but told me there was nothing he could really do for me, which I agreed. He then asked me what I was going to do..."call the police?" I replied I'd contact the Mall security first then call home again to see if Dad was home. For some reason, shortly after I ended my call to Chris, and thank God, BEFORE I called Mall security, I decided to walk WAY down to the other door of Wards....knowing full well it wasn't, but just to see if the car was there. Sure enough...there it was!...I had gone in one door and come out the other...totally oblivious! I quickly called Chris back to tell him the good news and asked if Dad or Adam were home yet...they weren't! I then asked if we could keep the incident our little secret...but he said it was TOO GOOD to keep to himself!...We all had a BIG laugh but a big relief at my expense!! Fran Kempa - Saturday, December 14, 2002 at 22:54:17 (MST) hey chris. i havent written in a long time, but ive been keepin busy. i just got done with my first semester of college and it sucked. but there are alot of decent girls at school so thats good. college is alot harder then i thought its too bad youre not there to experiance it. it really doesnt seem like 2 years ago it still seems like yesterday. i really dont know what to say i was just sittin up late and i saw a picture i had of you and i dont know it was weird im gonna try and go to sleep now forever in my prayers we miss you jason - Friday, December 13, 2002 at 23:42:02 (MST) 12/14/02...Same animated Chris statement as yesterday...The photo is another taken during Chris' last Christmas morning, 1999. The last time the boys would open their presents together...and every year at Christmas, that's what the focus was on, "the boys." I SO wish Chris could have lived to see the finished addition! It was such a LONG term project, we all just learned to live with the endless, ongoing construction. As you can see in the photo, the "wall" to the right of the Christmas tree is really a sheet of muslin!...We lived with muslin walls for YEARS! Chris wouls have LOVED the new area.. the space, the fireplace, the entertainment areas..he would have LOVED it!... and the space would be MUCH more inhabited than it is today!! Fran Kempa - Friday, December 13, 2002 at 22:55:54 (MST) 12/13/02...The art is the last of the new found computer animations Adam recently found...a Chris statement for sure! The photo was taken on Christmas morning 1999..his last. Both boys look SO tired! It's very hard to see in the picture, but at the very top of the tree is a biege crotched angel. 1999 was the second year we used it for our tree topper...haven't used it since. Christmas 1998, we decided to try something new..it was part of my "simplify my life" theory. We decided to go all gold and white for our decorations. A few weeks before Christmas, Chris and I went to the Plymouth Rd. KMart one evening...the store is now closed. As our luck would have it, they had ONE line open and I knew it would be a LONG wait...but I had found some things I knew I wouldn't find again at that late stage so I waited in line. Chris ran around the store as I waited and he returned several times to check on my progress. At one point he ran up to me and was very excited. He said, "Mom!, I found the PERFECT thing to put on the top of the tree...and from behind his back, he pulled this angel! He was SO right, it was PERFECT! Gold, white and Biege. I was very excited too and told him it WAS perfect and asked him where he had found it. We had been through the Christmas decorations area and I hadn't noticed it. He replied, "There"..and pointed to a group of shopping carts that were obviously full of returned or rejected merchandise. Although we haven't gotten a tree yet, I do think we'll get one this year...and the biege Kmart angel WILL be on top! Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 22:36:40 (MST) 12/12/02....The art is the same new found computer animation as yesterday. The photo was taken at Christmas time 1984...Chris and Cousin Billy. He was all set with his passie and Santa's Helper bib! We had no idea at the time what a wonderful, multi talented boy he'd become... We all loved him so much!...you can just see that.. the way Billy is petting his head!...He was the youngest grandchild. We also had no idea at the time how quickly and tragicly his life would end....At that time, he was just a darling baby! While clicking around on the kitchen TV yesterday evening, I caught a brief look at Profiler on Court TV that really hit home. Sam was talking to an older woman and she said, "HOW were you able to go on!?" The woman's response was, "you go on to go on...to survive...and in your survival you realize you're here to bear witness to the ones who no longer have voices."...then I turned to the news...but I thought that's SO true...you just go through the motions EVERY day.....BUT, I am telling the story of Chris' life, and some day soon, the story of his tragic death...he no longer has a voice, but has a big impact..and is STILL loved so much! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 22:46:46 (MST) Today someone mentioned "the Holidays". I said "I used to kid around and say Bah Humbug! Nowdays I really mean it". They have no idea how black and empty a heart can be. Miss you always... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 01:00:58 (MST) 12/11/02...The art is another animation creation I was never lucky enough to see. I know he was created during the last few months of Chris' life. The photos were taken of Chris by Chris in the summer of 1999....they depict EXACTLY what he looked like...especially the profile shot! Two years ago today, I returned to work after a three week absence. I have one VIVID memory of that day. One of the residents saw me and her face lit up...she was a 97 year old woman who spoke and understood very little English. She smiled, grabbed my hand and said, "Vacation Mrs.?"....For a brief moment I thought....but how can you explain something to someone who only understands Italian...when you can't even understand it in English. So I replied, "Yea Anna..vacation." She smiled, kissed my hand and I gathered that she was happy I was back. Anna turned 99 this August...I must admit, working in the enviornment I do, at times I question things! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 23:09:46 (MST) There is no doubt in my mind that cousin Billy doesn't care deeply about cousins Adam AND Chris...but for some reason..having like personalities,and Chris being as dynamic of a young man as he was, Billy and Chris always seemed to be connected at the hips. I remember Billy always crying on the way home from the lake in Michigan after spending the annual summer weekend visit with his cousins. "Why do we have to live so far away??" he would always ask. The picture today was of cousin Bill on his way to Steubenville, Ohio to Franciscan University where he took his youth group. Bill is a youth minister at our church and wanted everyone to know about Chris...so, he wore his shirt and they all prayed for him at the conference. Adam, Fran, and Adam...I hope you find comfort in knowing that even to this day..Chris is prominent on many minds...even the one's he didn't know...his spirit is being kept alive everywhere!! May the holidays bring you peace of heart and beautiful memories of Chris. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 03:31:18 (MST) 12/10/02...Same Spy vs Spy animation as yesterday. Shortly before Chris was killed, he began combining his film work with his computer work. I remember telling one of his teachers at parent teacher confrence in October 2000 about one such work he had just completed and I was AMAZED! Chris had video taped himself standing with his hand out stretched, then had one of his computer generated images...a butterfly, fly around him then land in his hand. The video portion was black and white...for some reason, most of his film was in black and white...but the butterfly was VERY colorful! I was AMAZED! The photo was taken in July 2002...cousin Billy wearing his Chris shirt. Even though they were farther apart in age, Chris and Billy were closer as cousins than Adam and Billy. I think it was because they saw each other so little and then when they did, Adam was his quiet, reserved self and Chris was his OUT GOING self...Billy couldn't help but get to know Chris better! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 22:21:59 (MST) wow that picture prety erie! XOXOXO - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 16:14:56 (MST) 12/9/02...The art is one of the computer animations Chris did shortly before he was killed. It's his version of one of the Spy vs Spy stories in MAD magazine. I think he captured the characters very well and I'm very happy to say, this is another one he showed me!...The bomb gets thrown...The photo is the last of the newly discovered photos from Disney World 1997. After the fact, many people who have seen this one comment on the presence of an angel statue in the foreground, and the ray of light that falls on both me and Chris...but mostly Chris...Was it an omen??...Who knows..I remember that day vividly because Chris and I were SO excited to be touring the Academy of Visual Arts and Sciences on Disney grounds...right up his alley...his future dream...As we entered the building and walked toward the room where the animator was to give his talk, we passed many cubicles where many animators were at work. They were working on the future Disney movie Mulan..which we didn't know the title of at the time...only saw Oriental type pictures being drawn...then the animator confirmed our assumptions....what Chris and I both noticed during this walk, was how laid back everyone seemed to be while they worked...in one cubicle, a young man sat barefoot, feet on the desk as he worked at the computer. Another, played with a toy train as he worked...Chris and I both smiled and I said, "Chris, this looks like a perfect place for you!"...he agreed. Once the animator started his talk, Chris was very absorbed. At the end, he asked if there were any questions. I poked Chris and told him to ask him what it takes to become an animator for Disney. He whispered back that he couldn't but asked me to..so I did. The animator's answer was a little surprising but I do believe made an impression on Chris because his work changed after that...He said the most important thing was to be able to draw....NOT cartoons, he said anybody can draw cartoons...the main thing was to be able to draw real things, then if needed, they could be stretched into cartoons...but the most important thing was drawing reality!...And Chris COULD and DID!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 23:06:40 (MST) I'm sorry about your son and friend. His artwork is great! His story touched me very deeply. God Bless. Elaina <ellenas_1@hotmail.com> - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 13:31:15 (MST) 12/8/02...Same computer animation as yesterday. The photo is another taken in Oct. 1997. Chris and me on a ride at Disney World. I don't remember which ride...not the best picture of either one of us....but it's a picture of US!! The holiday season is very much here..but I'm not there. If Chris was still alive, Christmas would have started going up the day after Thanksgiving, as the Thanksgiving decorations came down. I keep going back in my mind to where Chris and I were when he was killed...spending so much time together, being so close..I keep going back there because that's where it still is...that's where it ended. Then sometimes the reality will hit me. If Chris was still alive, he'd be driving for a long time now. He'd be in college and consumed with activities at 18 and a half that I can't even imagine...considering what he was doing at 16. The fact of the matter is, we wouldn't be spending much time together at all...but he'd still be here and that would have been the most important thing. Claudia and I attended the Franklin Talent show Fri. night. Dana, Jenny and Colleen...Great perfofmances!...Cori, WOW! Sat. afternoon we continued a long tradition of Livonia's Greenmead Christmas walk..some very interesting places! Friday night is our neighborhood Christmas walk...another long tradition I intend to participate in. This year I've decided to do Christmas how I feel comfortable doing it under the circumstances...not very lavishly. And for those who say ..do it all, do everything the way you used to, "Chris would have wanted you to."... Chris wants me to do it just how I'm doing it, what I can, when I can. Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 12:47:48 (MST) 12/7/02....the art is another one of Chris' MANY computer animations, created shortly before he was killed....I have no idea what this one does... sadly, Chris never showed it to me...but I have no question,..he does do something! The photo is yet anothe taken in Oct. 1997.... Adam and Chris....what doesn't show here on the computer but shows in the photo is the place they were at when this pic was taken...It was a place where all the Star Wars characters had left their signatures in cement...be it R2D2, Chewbaka, the Ewoks...etc...all had left their hand, foot or....paw imprint there!....The boys were very awed! Fran Kempa - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 23:06:41 (MST) I am so sorry your pain is still so fresh..I pray that someday you feel some relief from these awful awful memories....and that the beautiful Chris memories prevail!! May the grace and peace of God be with you always. Jo <xxxooo> - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 18:03:10 (MST) Fran's message about the "look" on Chris' face........ Each time I closed my eyes to sleep I would see that "look of terror" on my dead son's face....every night for over a year...on some nights it still comes back..... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:40:36 (MST) 12/6/02..Same man/toilet animation art as yesterday...how I WISH we could show the full rendering here! The photo is another from 10/97 at Disney World...ANOTHER picture of me and my boys, ANOTHER treasure! I had a Chris memory today when dealing with the dogs.... for some reason I was taken back to our second Christmas with Charlie. When he was a pup, we always brought him to Buffalo with us. As he grew older, it became easier for all involved...even Charlie ,to have him boarded. This memory placed us in Grandma Kempa's living room...not always the most comfortable place to be! It was Christmas time, not Christmas day... after we moved to Michigan, we stayed home for Christmas and traveled to Buffalo during Christmas week....I thought it was important to establish our own family traditions...what ever they may be,...and we did! Any way...Charlie fell asleep in the living room and Chris being six, kept putting his face in Charlie's face and talking to him. With each violation, I warned Chris not only to keep his face out of Charlie's ...but to leave sleeping dogs lie. At one point, Charlie had enough and in retaliation, nipped Chris in the face. It was scary at first, he and I flew off to the upsatais bathroom. After inspecting the damage...which was minimal, we went back downstairs to face Charlie and Adam's family. In front of everyone I explained to Chris that HE was the one who had done something wrong...had he not tormented Charlie, he never would have been nipped. I wanted to impress upon him the fact that there were consequences for ALL of his actions...good or bad....I always tried to do that with my boys and I believe it worked...That incident never altered the love Chris and Charlie felt for each other!....Chris just came away smarter! I can't even state how many times a day, EVERY day,I cringe at the thought of what must have run through Chris' head in those few seconds....before and during impact.I STILL pray every night, he never knew what happened and just found himself shaking his head at Heaven's gate and NEVER suffered for a minute..even a second! This was my baby, my flesh and blood, my pride and joy, the love of my life...my LIFE at that time!...to say I hurt to think about it doesn't even come close. I PRAY what Rev. Carie told me on 9/8/01 is TRUE....before I even said a word..."On IMPACT, he was taken out of his body by angels. He and they observed the after math, hovering above the scene!"...That helps sometimes, but most times I see his face....dead in the ER, with that look of terror on his mouth and those eyes, big as saucers in death before they cleaned him up...and my intellectual mind, rather than my emotional mind....tells me he KNEW!... and was terrorized and I can't get beyond that...He was my sweet, gentle baby. Fran Kempa - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 23:05:41 (MST) tough to watch CSI tonight a lot of things made me think of chris and mrs. kempa can't even imagine - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 19:26:36 (MST) It is to those who perceive.....the poets, the artists, and seekers for meaning, that the angel makes himself known..... Theodora Ward - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 18:56:32 (MST) To "a visitor" Your message was full of kindness and meant to comfort, but as I too have unfortunately felt........ I would rather have my kid home with me and my family than in Jesus' mansion. To wait for the rest of my life is too long a wait to see him again. I am sure the Kempa's would agree. A parent who has lost a child - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 13:53:55 (MST) 12/5/02..the art is another one of Chris' computer generated animations....this one he actually showed me!!...It was one of the MANY times he called me into the computer room to show me his latest work...this one was about two months before he was killed. He told me he KNEW I'd like this one.....he started it up and there on the moniter, I saw a spinning toilet! A second later, the water in the toilet started kind of bubbling and a second later, this man popped out! We both LAUGHED and I said I DID like it very much! We shared the same type of humor!...even though it was a toilet, I was awed by the fact that he came up with the idea and more impressed by the fact he carried it out! The photo is another newly found from Oct. 1997. It was taken in the hotel room which was actually more a suite. When you first walked in, there was a living room type area , a bathroom and a bedroom. The living room had a sleeper sofa where the boys slept....they even had their own TV..it was perfect! That's Chris on their bed in the sofa position! I went to Michaels Wed. to buy the battery operated Christmas lights...which I did.....As soon as I pulled in the parking lot, I suddenly remembered the last time I was there...I am NOT a crafty person, but I so admire those who are. It's just one of many talents some people are blessed to be born with...anyway..as a result of my lack of craft ability, I have little or no use for Michaels. The last time I was there was April 2000. Chris was taking an independant study painting class in his Sophomore year. Not being well versed in this area, I had been buying the canvas at an art store and they weren't exactly cheap...but that was no concern. I'll NEVER forget Chris coming home from school one day SO excited! He was almost breathless from his walk and the first thing he said was, "MOM!! I found out where we can buy canvas cheap!!" I asked where and he told me how one of his art classmates had told him about Michaels...we were there the next day and purchased several..some of which remain untouched, in his room today! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 22:49:17 (MST) Mr. and Mrs. Kempa, I am sorry at the loss of your son. I have visited this site for over a year now, and I am constantly amazed at the artwork contained within it's pages. Chris was truly gifted, and I'm saddened that the world lost such a gifted artist. Mr. Kempa, you often write that the truth will come out. But I think, day by day, the truth does come out. Through the entries here, people like myself, who never knew Chris, are introduced to him and his artwork. His friends seem to often discover more and more beauty in life, beauty that Chris showed them in the way he lived, his outlook on life, and the way he depicted life with it's complexities in his artwork. You, his family, are left without a son, and that seems like a high price to pay, for this *truth* to come out. And it is. I don't want to lessen that at all. But let me share this. Mrs. Kempa, you mentioned going to church, and I'm glad that you did, because in trials many people give up faith. However, even when God seems farthest away, and you wonder what in the world He's doing that He seemed to have turned His back on you, know that He too, knows what it's like to lose a son. Know that He knows exactly what it feels like. Know that when He seems farthest way, He is actually the closest, for the Bible says that God is NEAR to the brokenhearted. But what He also knows, and what you will one day know too, is the joy of reunion. And how awesome the day will be when you both are reunited with Chris! I believe that the mansion that's awaiting you up in heaven, Chris has already decorated with artwork that he never got the chance to create on earth. So maybe the truth is slowly coming out. With each Chris story. With each motorist who sees a bumper sticker. With all the support you've received from friends, who have shown their true colors during these last couple of years. And maybe, you've found strength that you didn't know existed, when you didn't think you could go on, somehow you did, you have, and you will continue. Thank you for your honesty and openess in this guestbook. My hope and prayer is that millions of people will be touched by this young man's life. He continues to live on in the hearts of those who he loved, and who love him. a visitor - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 01:07:53 (MST) December 3, 2002 Total number of page views up till now 55014!!!! I wish CHRIS could have seen this. New art from Chris! This one is very good! Sometimes the art work that we put up would have made Chris very mad. Very Mad He would have thrown much of this stuff away as "rough sketchs" not to be seen by anyone but him. Works in progress is the phrase artists use. He could do better and these sketchs were often just "rough notes" to himself on various subject areas In the digital world Chris could take a rough sketch and push and pull it, or "shape" into something much more refined. Then he could make the images dance around the screen. He could change lighting, camera angles and such as he would put together an animation of a particlar subject. His problem was that the data files were so large that he could not save the whole project without eating up large amounts of hard disk space. He was gifted and skilled, and now is dead. When you kill an artist the whole world suffers... I miss my kid........... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 00:27:03 (MST) 12/4/02...The art is the same computer generated image as yesterday..The photo is another from 10/97...once the boys discovered this game in the hotel arcade, they were there every night, competing!..And once again I know, two years ago this would have been another bad Chris pic in my eyes. But today, I look at it and focus on his hands.. which are prominent in the photo..the left hand is in the forfront, Chris was left handed and I think of ALL the things he created with those hands and I am STILL amazed!..He was an AMAZING talent!! Tuesday was a BEAUTIFUL day despite the snow. I ventured out in the afternoon and toyed with the idea of Christmas shopping but reconsidered. I went to the cemetary to clear the snow off of Chris' grave blanket. Shortly after I started to do so, I saw how beautiful the snow made it look so I only cleared the top coating. I am SO happy to have found battery operated Christmas lights! After calling MANY places, I found them at Michaels. I want to get a strand for the corner and maybe two for the tree in the park planted by the neighborhood assn...I'm going to get them tomorrow after work. I had another Chris memory last night as I was preparing dinner.....For at least two years before Chris was killed, it became the normal thing for us to do as a family....watch Jeopardy during dinner. I'm not sure how this started but I think it may have come from the fact that dinners weren't always a positive thing before that....Adam Wm. and Chris would be taunting each other or Adam F. would be commenting on the boys every move...dinners weren't always a pleasant experience as I wanted them to be.....And then Jeopardy came into our dinner time and it was great!...Not only was it a learning experience, it sucked us all in and we ate and learned and ENJOYED our dinners! Adam Wm. always blew us all out of the water....he knew just about EVERY answer including MOST Final Jeopardys! When Chris heard a question he knew the answer to, he'd prepare us and say, "I KNOW this one, let me answer...!" And we did and he did! I'm sure for some people, that would be a complete turn off, watching TV during dinner...I know my own father wouldn't have approved... we couldn't even accept phone calls during dinner...but it worked for OUR family and that's all that matters! I am sad and sorry to say, we haven't watched a Jeopardy as a family during dinner since 11/20/00... Fran Kempa - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 23:12:22 (MST) Illinois Century Network 3 December <12:53> - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 11:02:35 (MST) 12/3/02...The art is another one of Chris' recently found computer generated images which would or did become an animation. To me, this one reflects his love for Japan! The photo is another newly found photo from Disney World, Oct. 1997. Chris, Adam and me taking a break. Once again, two years ago, I wouldn't have appreciated this photo...but today, not only is it a picture with Chris in it...it's another picture of me and my boys!...another treasure! I had two funny Chris memories today. After working the weekend, the pop cans accumulated...seems I'm the only one who knows what to do with empty pop cans...anyway, as I was rinsing them out Monday, I remembered back to when Adam and Chris FOUGHT over the empties! I have bought A LOT of pop for years. I can't state how many times as I was checking out in the grocery store, the cashier made the comment while ringing the pop..."Having a party huh?" And I almost always replied, "No, I have two teenage boys and I try everything I can to keep them home with their friends...and believe it or not this helps!" The fridge in the garage was and still is always full of pop...and there were no restrictions, everyone could help themselves...as a result, we have generated MANY empty cans. I kept and still keep a bag in the laundry room and as I rinse them out, I put them in this bag. When it's full, it goes to the garage..from there, Adam and Chris would FIGHT over them.I always told them to take turns, but the turns always got mixed up and became a first one gets them type thing...On 11/17/00 as I dropped Chris off at Larry's to get his check, he reached into the back of the van and grabbed two bags of empties he apparently had put in there. As he carried them into the store, I called out the window, "Hey, isn't it Adam's turn?" And as he walked into the store he called back, "No Mom, I got them first!"...and he did! Adam still enjoys the rewards of empties...he just doesn't have anyone to fight with over them! When I saw the snow Monday morning, I was ill. I have ALWAYS hated winter and snow...I hate it even more since 11/20/00...I looked out the window, let the dogs out then went right back to bed with a beagle, a spaniel and a TV remote. As I was half way watching channel 4, I saw a Chuck Gadica commercial for school closing info....Chris' bedroom was/ is next to ours. As much as he LOVED school, he loved his free time as well. When it would snow a considerable amount the night before a school day, he was always hopeful..."Do you think we'll have school Mom?" And I always told him I'd pay attention to the news and let him know. We have a TV in our room and often after Chris went to bed, I'd be upstairs watching it....On snowy nights he could hear me watching and he'd call out, "Anything yet Mom?" and I just kept telling him to go to sleep, I'd let him know. On nights like these, I'd set my alarm early for the 5 o'clock news...so I could go into his room at 6 o'clock, wake him up and say, "You can go back to sleep...there's NO school!"....And he ALWAYS smiled!...God how I miss him! Fran Kempa - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 23:24:08 (MST) We are born for a higher destiny than that of earth; there is a realm where the rainbow never fades, where the stars will be spread before us like islands that slumber on the ocean, and where the beings that pass before us like shadows will stay in our presence forever. Edward Bulwer-Lytton - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 14:23:09 (MST) 12/2/02...Same computer generated image as yesterday...but what I failed to mention yesterday was that this is just ONE frame in a series of images....MANY frames of the same image...that's what I understood at least..this all was OVER my head at the time and continues to be.. After Chris was finished creating all the images, some how, he would animate them...make them move and perform a task. I can't tell you how MANY times I walked into the computer room and found a hand written stickie note pasted to the moniter...they read, "RENDERING! DO NOT touch the computer!"....How we all miss those notes now...! The photo is another recently found from Disney World, 1997...Chris just checking things out. Two years ago, I would have considered this a bad Chris pic..you can't see his face. Today I look at it as a wonderful gift..any photo that contains any hint of him is a wonderful gift! Over the holiday and break fom school, Adam has had many friends in and out of the house...THANK God for his wonderful friends! I couldn't help make a mental note of comments in passing from many of them in normal conversation. "My brother will be there.", "My brother is helping me.", "My brother got a job!", "I have to take my brother..", "My brother and I are..." etc.,.I can't even begin to explain how once again, after hearing these innocent comments..how my heart breaks for Adam. And once again, all I could think was...Adam can only speak of his beloved brother in the past, "my brother WAS..." the only comment he can make in the present tense is, "My brother IS dead." Fran Kempa - Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 23:07:44 (MST) 12/1/02...The art is one of Chris' MANY computer generated works...this one recently discovered by Adam Wm.... when we got a new computer and he was transfering files. He found this one, and many others. For several months before he was killed, Chris' focus had turned to computer generation and animation. MOST unfortunatly, on 11/19/00, Chris deleted SEVERAL of his works that he wasn't satisifed with...he was worried we'd run out of room on the computer. I remember vividly, his Dad was VERY upset with him for having done so...and I remember VIVIDLY saying, they were his works, and if he wasn't happy with them, he had the right to delete them....he could ALWAYS make more!...I had NO clue...only HOURS left at that point! The photo was recently discovered along with a few others, in a shoe box, when Adam cleaned his closet. It was taken in Oct. 1997 at Disney World. Chris was in 8th grade, Adam was a senior in high school. I AM getting on with life..I have NO choice, but I will NEVER get over this horrific event that NEVER SHOULD have happened!.....Missing Chris SO MUCH, this time of year and EVERY day! Fran Kempa - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 22:40:46 (MST) Thanksgiving... Someone in the guest book left a message which in part said "another holiday without Chris". In part, they were very correct. However, Thanksgiving has taken on a "new light" to me since Chris was killed. I forever will remember going to the funeral home with relatives then then coming home to turkey on paper plates. Like the homeless. I guess this fit, as our homelife as we knew it had been destroyed. Just a short drive down the road.......... Thanksgiving is not another holiday without my son or without Adam's brother. It is the holiday.. the holiday before which and during which he was waked, and the holiday after which he was buried. I really do appreciate the supportive comments of the individual who had left the posting.... How were they to know what this holiday now meant to us? Thanksgiving to me, to us, is a reminder in countless small details of our loss... We miss our son and brother in countless ways....... Miss you always Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>>> - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 02:21:34 (MST) 11/30/02...Same Moriah painting as yesterday. The photo depicts the Memorial as it was in 11/00 and then in 2/01, after the city of Livonia's removal order. I apologize to Andrew Schinsky for the omission of his name yesterday. Thank you Mary for noticing! While at work on Thanksgiving, a coworker made me feel VERY good about this web site. He had asked me for the address about a week before because he had forgotten it and had not visited for a LONG time...Then I went on "vacation." I honestly believe, I will ALWAYS need a vacation this time of year as I have for the past two....I saw him for the first time since I returned to work on Thanksgiving and what he said made it all worth while...He said, "WOW, you're REALLY keeping him alive!" I thanked him and made a mental note, that was a sign to continue! It's hard for me to believe, but we have discovered 13 pictures of Chris that have never been used here and 7 works of art! TWO years later and we're STILL discovering some of which was Chris! We plan to show them here in December. Fran Kempa - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 22:46:35 (MST) And is that Andrew Schinsky next to Scott Allen in the picture? MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 19:49:46 (MST) I would like to point out the fact that Chris was not killed in the crosswalk pictured here. He was killed in the cross walk to the north, which is to the left of this photo but not shown. He was also not on the same side of the street as shown in the photo. He was just about on the other side. As Mrs. Kempa pointed out earlier, these kids weren't sure where to put the memorial that day. A Franklin Parent - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 10:24:50 (MST) 11/29/02...The painting is another not done by Chris but in memory of Chris by his dear friend and fellow artist, Moriah Nixon. She gave this to me one year ago at the candle light vigil at the corner, 11/20/01. She told me she couldn't sleep, one of many nights for thinking about Chris, but this night felt the need to capture him through her art...I think she did a BEAUTIFUL job! This painting is still displayed in a very prominent place in our home! I am HAPPY to say, Moriah and I have kept in touch since Chris' death...one of several friends I still have contact with. She began the contact shortly after Chris was killed via U.S. mail, then progressed to E mails. Her current method of contact is just showing up at the front door...and I LOVE IT!! Her most recent visit was 11/19/02...I had NO idea she was coming, but was SO HAPPY to see her!! We visited for a long time, and as usual talked about many people and many things. She still struggles as I do..We both LOVED Chris!! The photo was taken in Feb. 2001 and is a copy of the same photo that appeared in the Detroit News after the city of Livonia ordered the Memorial "removed" from the corner....either we could remove it, or they WOULD! Since the order was issued just a few days from threatened removal, I decided we should remove it and save all the items that were so lovingly placed there. I believed if we had defied the order, the city would have heartlessly come by on that Monday and removed everything to the garbage. That weekend, the memorial came down..I was responding to the city's order. The photo resulted from a strong revolt to the decision by Chris' many friends....A representation was published in the paper...from (L) to (R)...Caleb Deady, Jason Woodward, Scott Allen, Jenny Taco, and the love of his life, Cori Smith....they as well as MANY had a difficult time with the city's decision. A compromise was worked out in short order...but I will ALWAYS feel the order should have been to scale it down....which I FULLY intended to do, rather than remove it completely. It's so ironic, what I feared the city would do...scoop everything up and throw it out, actually happened about three months later by some very SICK individuals! Another holiday gotten through and survived!!...Hurtful none the less. Fran Kempa - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 23:02:18 (MST) I'm sure a bitter sweet close to another holiday is coming to an end for the Kempa family. You were in my thoughts today. Sorry for the recent nastiness in the guestbook. Having been a viewer since about day one however, I'm not surprised. One never knows when they'll come back! Hopefully, Happy Thanksgiving. Mary Saia <Westland> - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 20:51:34 (MST) On special days and holidays, when some of your friends come by I'm really glad to se them, even though it makes me cry. As I stand alone on the porch, I wave and wonder why? And through the tears I remember when we said our last good bye. You're not coming home- the thought hurts me so, Perhaps the pain will lessen, right now I just don't know. "Where are you son?" I've often said, "it can't be true, you can't be dead!" I love you son and I miss you so. I can't stop the pain, I can't stop the flow, of emotions so strong, tears hard to control. From the memories that live on, forever etched in my soul. Russ <TCF Tacoma, Wa.> - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 13:53:05 (MST) Happy Thanksgiving to you all..much love Jo and Bill and Billy JoAnne <xxx> - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 11:57:18 (MST) 11/28/02...Same awesome painting of Chris by John Hicks. The photo is another taken on Thanksgiving day, 1989. We don't have many photos from Thanksgivings past...they were all very laid back days. It was most often just the four of us and for years, after Thanksgiving dinner, which was accompanied by Manheim Steamroller Christmas music, we would play a game....Uno Stacko...Rummicub, Scatergogies.. a game, and it was FUN!! I am very sorry to say, I have NO memory of last Thanksgiving, 2001 AT ALL. I have VIVID memories of Thanksgiving 2000, and some memories of 1999, Chris' last...He and I both worked that day...he got off at 2, I got off at 3. it was no big deal to him to work because he had seen me do it so many times over the years....work a holiday yet still be able to CELEBRATE! Thanksgining 2002 is our THIRD without Chris!!...unbelieveable!! And it will be a totally new experience...The shrimp is ready, the chocolate pie is made. I am working, which is not unusual....but what I come home to is!!..Adam is spending the day with Sarah's family...AS IT SHOULD BE, our friends are spending the day with their families...AS IT SHOULD BE....Chris SHOULD be here which would make all of this much easier...he SHOULD BE!! Tomorrow after work, I'll come home to cook a turkey breast...not a turkey for Adam F and two dogs...NOT as it SHOULD be! Two years ago on Thanksgiving, I remember eating my first meal in many days...not since hamburgers on Sunday night, ...then being so sorry and so sick for having done so..... Fran Kempa - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 23:31:07 (MST) Happy Thanksgiving Adam, Fran and Adam Wm. Even though I'm sure you all feel there's really nothing to be thankful for..just remember Chris! Remember what a wonderful, kind, caring, funny, loving, compassionate and TALENTED boy he was. Be thankful for what he was and the amazing Angel in God's force he has become! Adam and Fran, be thankful you were the parents of such an amazing child, he wouldn't have been what he was without your influence. And thank God every day for your other most wonderful surviving son Adam..TWO wonderful boys, you were BLESSED! Adam Wm., be thankful for your parents who love you so much and as a result of 11/20/00 WORRY about you so much. Be thankful for all the fun, happy times you shared with your brother...he IS STILL with you, you know. And be thankful for your wonderful girl friend Sarah, she came along just when you needed her most...I look at my own kids and can't even begin to imagine the loss! With love.. A Friend - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 21:02:19 (MST) Dear Adam, Fran and Adam, We are sitting here with candles lit and listening to Ben Folds Five in honor of Christopher...just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you tonight..as we ALWAYS do!! Our energies are coming your way in hopes that the love we have for you and Chris will be felt!! Love you all...Chris, you are awesome honey!! Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Bill, JoAnne and cousin Bill <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:13:51 (MST) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Illinois Century Network <United states> - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 11:41:47 (MST) Mr. and Mrs. Kempa, Adam, and all of Chris' friends and family, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you were all in my heart the other night. I tried to stop by to leave a message, but left in tears, unable to type after reading a few of the passages. I was at college on Nov. 20th with no way of getting back home, but I will be back soon for Thanksgiving weekend, and I plan on visiting the memorial. It's so hard to be away from everyone that knows who Chris is. It was difficult when everyone asked me why I was so sad...everyone wants to know why..and it's so hard to reflect on it so many times in one day, repeating the story over and over again. On Thanksgiving, there is no doubt in my mind that the thing I will be most thankful for is all that I have learned from Chris. I changed so much about myself because of him, and I am so greatful to him for that. I still have a lot of trouble expressing my feelings, but I'm sure many of you understand what I mean. He was a very special person to so many people. Mrs. Kempa, what you said in the guestbook that night really hit a soft spot in my heart and made me open up and express my feelings for the first time. I've always been the kind of person that found it easier to hold things in. I've never cried in front of anyone about this before..I didn't even tell many people that I knew Chris because I didn't want them feeling sorry for ME. When I read what you said, tears began streaming down my face, and I ran upstairs in my dorm to talk to a friend of mine (not from Livonia). We talked for hours about Chris and I let out so many tears that I had been holding inside. I really want to thank you, and to send you a big ::hug::. Thank you for opening up to us. I'm sure that while many of us don't express it, your thoughts and comments help us in our grieving and our memories of Chris. ------->-------@ - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 02:38:00 (MST) Another picture of another time and another family..... Only a broken remnant of the original family remains. It is not the same, forever different. Broken hearts and a devastated future.... Just a short drive down the road. Dad Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 00:54:07 (MST) 11/27/02...The painting wasn't done by Chris but in loving memory of Chris by his good friend and fellow artist John Hicks. I can still see John bringing this painting into the funeral home 11/22/00. We placed it by the casket among the flowers on the floor. This painting has become Chris' icon for buttons, T shirts, and stickers..not to mention this web site....the original still hangs above our mantle. Chris and John truly appreciated each other as artists. I'll never forget attending the Livonia Civic Center Fine Arts Festival in April 2000 with Chris, just the two of us....He was a Sophomore, John was a Senior. My focus was on Chris' works there. At one point Chris came up to me and said, "Mom, you've got to see what my friends have done, they're SOOO good." And he took me around the library and showed me not only John's multiple works, but Lauren's too!...And they were SOOO good! I'm happy to say, and I know Chris is proud to know, John is living Chris' dream of attending CCS and LOVING every minute of it...just as Chris would have! The photo was taken Thanksgiving day, 1989. We were still on Auburndale and Charlie hadn't quite come into our lives...we were pilgrams! Two years ago today we felt compelled to the corner at the time Chris was killed. We were very surprised to find a girl and her mom already there as we drew nearer. Months later, we were all so SHOCKED to find that this mother and daughter were a very small piece of this horrible puzzle...they had NOTHING to do with the puzzle, they were just drawn in against their will as many were. I have seen the daughter many times since, I saw the mom and met her dad very briefly in June of this year. All I could say was, "You have a very lovely daughter!" and walked away...but I wanted to say SO much more! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 22:41:03 (MST) The Whisper Of Angel Wings Today I stumbled and once again Was lifted up by an unseen hand. What comfort and joy that knowledge brings For I hear the whisper of angel wings. The guardian angels God sends to all To bear us up when we stumble and fall Trust Him my friend and often you'll hear The whisper of angel wings hovering near. Anonymous - Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 19:22:28 (MST) 11/26/02..Same sadly discovered drawing as yesterday. the photo is yet another of the Memorial taken prior to Feb. 2001. You can see another skateboard and the tip of the Angel X-ing sign. Those roses really impressed me...at the time all I could think was how they were frozen in time..just like Chris. Someone even left some Christmas decorations in the form of a bead garland..at it's height, the Memorial was BEAUTIFUL, and a wonderful tribute to Chris...it still is! Two years ago today the three of us were left alone to face the aftermath... we had yet to discover just how devastating the toll could be! Thankful to have escaped all the raw sewage running through the guestbook yesterday! Fran Kempa - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 22:19:17 (MST) Can we please just use this website to honor Chris? Let's take our battles elsewhere!! JoAnne <XXX> - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 18:21:11 (MST) I see the TURDS are tring to come back like a stopped up john..well SORRY BUT THE TRUTH IS OUT there BABY and you lose! The Plunger <imatruthteller@yahoo.com> - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 17:32:58 (MST) so nice to have a terd in the guestbook at lest he knows what he is you to - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 13:42:34 (MST) I found your article on pedestrians and cars very interesting. I mean the whole idea of people (pedestrians) being torn apart on the interstate, it's just not right. That is all. ~Turd Turd Fergusson <screwyou2003@hotmail.com> - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 12:35:13 (MST) Miss you always, Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 23:03:58 (MST) 11/25/02...We never saw this drawing until long after Chris was killed. It was one he threw out 11/19/00.We discovered it in March, 2001 I believe. We were very happy to find it at the time but so sad because it was there. The photo is another view of the Memorial prior to Feb. 2001. Kids left keyboards, skateboards and MANY Jones Soda bottles...among other things! 11/25 will ALWAYS be the day we had to say a final goodbye to our baby and little brother...As in most families, had Chris lived to be 100, he'd always be the baby and little brother...I can't even begin to describe how that felt, but in some way, just as at the ER..I just shut down and let the fog take over...and I remember STILL thinking, "this isn't real, this can't be happening." So he's been gone TWO years now. I can HONESTLY say I am not angry at God or the world. I can HONESTLY say I am VERY angry with a few people all of whom are related...and I don't EVER see that changing. Fran Kempa - Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 22:18:51 (MST) 11/24/02...the same WIND drawing as yesterday, one of Chris' last works. The photo is another taken at the Memorial..I'm not sure of the exact date but I know it was before Feb. 2001 because the animals are still there. After the city demanded it down, I took everything home. I washed and fabric softened all the animals and turned them over to Mr. K. at Franklin. I believe from there they went to Children's Hospital in Detroit....there were bags of them!! After our "compromise" was worked out with the city, I began to retuen certain things to the Memorial. The only things I had personally contributed to the site were an angel planter and the Angel X-ing sign shown in the picture. In some weird way, when I found that sign at Michael's Angel Attic, I knew, it was meant for that corner. The photo doesn't show it because it's covered with animals...but at the bottom of the sign, it shows an angel hovering above a crosswalk as children cross....in some weird way, I felt having that sign there was protection. They started subtly...only taking one thing at a time...the first glaring omission was the angel planter. It rather sickened me but after all we'd been through, NOTHING surprised me! They saved the best for Memorial day 2001...how meaningful!...They took EVERYTHING, the Angel X-ing sign,...even the rocks the kids had signed... I just wonder what they did with everything...did they throw it out at a house close to the memorial...or one about an hour away?...SICK people!...they went on to repeat their desecration two more times!! Two years ago today I have very foggy memories of. I know it was the last day of the viewing and I remember WISHING the evening would NEVER end... because I was dreading and couldn't bear that FINAL goodbye! My heart will NEVER be whole again...there will ALWAYS be a void...that which was Chris! Fran Kempa - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 23:32:43 (MST) A Name For My Pain I have given a name to my pain, It's called "Longing." I long for what was, And what might have been. I long for his touch and smell of sweat: I long to hold him one more time. I long to look on his beautiful face and impress it upon my memories and heart. I long to return to the day before and protect him from his death. I long to take his place, so he may live and have sons too. I long for time to pass much faster, so my longing and pain will lessen. Will they? June Williams-Muecke <TCF Houston Tx> - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 14:30:51 (MST) Well, its saturday, I'm 3 days late. I couldn't write on wednsday. My head was spinning all day,I kept re-living the memories in my head, the pain, the faces, the tears. I re-thought all of my worries, my dreams,my doubts, my inspirations. I read all your entries and they were extremely moving, it's great to see that we're all still here. We love Chris, we love the Kempa's, and we never lost support. Mr.& Mrs. Kempa and Adam, I will always hold a place for you in my heart, I've been blown away by your courage to pledge on, how when we all turned around to be there for you, you ended up supporting us. I know this has been nothing but life shattering and I know nothing could ever refill the whole in your heart, but Chris is watching you, hes watching all of us. He was too compassionate of a person to not take care of everyone. A little side note about Chris. In the begining of September my good good friend Kyle was moving to Liverpool for school. I was really torn up & driving home from his going away party. I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of Chris. I couldnt hold back my tears. Later on that night I heard it again, than I couldnt help but smile. To hear this song twice is one night is a rareity, it was popular back when we were at Grant together! When I went to bed with the tune in my head, I had a dream about Chris, a simple conversation we had about music on the way to school one day. It was sweet, I knew then that Chris was there, and he hadn't ever left. I hope everything is going okay for all of you, and your all taking care of youself. Love always, Chris Christen O. <TiniBallerini@aol.com> - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 12:37:27 (MST) I pray for that change to come and that change will be "The Truth". "The Truth" is logical and makes sense. There is not and cannot be any other "Truth". "The Truth" is out there everyday on the road in many shapes and forms. Why can't the powers see it as clearly as the rest of us do. Calculations and guesstimations mean nothing when true facts are hidden and not sought out to get a clear, true picture. The powers are not infallible. Amen. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 10:06:01 (MST) Thanks to you all again for yor visits to this site. One of the hard things to take about this site is that many things do not change. Chris was killed... and as a result his life was stopped. Like a movie or a song placed on pause, forever.......... The truth will come out and I will see to it. Dad <afk49@aol.com> - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 00:39:20 (MST) 11/23/02...The drawing is another we never knew existed until after Chris was killed, we call this one WIND. This one and BLACK were found in the art room in I think Jan. 2001 by Mr. Rheault. The photo is of the street sign pole where the Memorial was started by Chris' friends 11/20/00... and still exists today despite three attempts by certain people to destroy and desecrate it...it just kept coming back!...and it always will. The Memorial was erected diagonally across the street from where Chris was actually killed, there was so much confusion and misinformation in the media that day, the kids told us they weren't sure where to put it....as it turned out, they picked the perfect place!... Two years ago today was Thanksgiving day. Many of our relatives were in town, but not for the holiday. The funeral home was open but there was no formal visitation. We were told we could come though and we did...just the three of us and Charlie. We all felt it was truly important for Charlie to say goodbye too. We led him into the room and just let him sniff. Soon after we arrived, with no coaching, he just laid down in front of the coffin...I don't know if he knew Chris was dead..but I believe he knew he was there....and that's what we all did for about an hour that Thanksgiving, sat around Chris' coffin...just the three of us and Charlie. I'll never forget the feeling that NOTHING mattered...and I'll never forget selfishly feeling that not only Chris'...but MY life was over and MY future was gone...and it was... The way I'd known it and planned for it ended when chris was killed. Fran Kempa - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 23:51:20 (MST) I didn't leave a memory in the guestbook Wed because I hate that all we have are memories. Chris should still be here making new memories with us. Miss u forever! A Franklin Senior - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 15:57:43 (MST) This is one of my favorite pictures of Chris. He looks so grown-up in this picture. miss you always kiddo. Katie B. - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 02:04:15 (MST) asassinated Fran Kempa - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 23:52:03 (MST) 11/22/02...Same beautiful BLACK drawing as yesterday. The photo I had never seen before Chris was killed. I was telling my sister on Wed. that this was the photo that was in all the papers and on TV. I told her that when I saw it on TV that horrible day my denial and fog were playing tricks on me...when I first saw it...for a few seconds, I thought, "Oh my God, he's NOT dead!....they took this picture today!..how else could they have it...this is all a terrible mistake"....But I KNEW. As it turned out, the papers and TV stations were calling Franklin High to obtain a picture. Franklin called our house for permission to release a picture and we said OK. We had never seen it because Chris hadn't brought it home yet. When pictures were taken in Sept. and Chris saw the results, I was told he didn't like the way his hair looked! He decided to have his picture taken again on picture retake day in October....This picture IS Chris! This is EXACTLY how he looked when he was killed...down to the necklace Ginny made for him that summer...the one he NEVER took off and held together with a paper clip! It's the picture we gave copies of to all the relatives as they left for Buffalo after the funeral...it's the picture we have in our bedroom and Adam has in his...it's the picture Adam has hanging on one of the basement walls...that was their space....this is/was Chris! Before Chris was killed, 11/22 in my mind was always the day Kennedy was assinated. For two years now it has been and always will be the first day of Chris' wake...the first day I had to see my baby in a coffin...I can't even begin to describe how that feels! Fran Kempa - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 23:26:44 (MST) Hi Chris - I didn’t forget to call on you today …… instead of my usual chatting in the car or while I’m doing my dishes, I’m sending you my thoughts here, so, as always, I appreciate you listening !!! The whole in our hearts that opened the day you went to heaven is still there and always will be, but I know you’re in a wonderful place with God, Gramma, Eddie, Jiggs, Zena, and all the rest of our family and friends that are living up there with you. You know I think about you every day, and I appreciate all the guidance you give me with all the things I talk to you about. Sometimes I get really sad …. even though I know you’re still with us and we will be with you again some day. I think about what you’re doing in heaven, what painting you’re working on, if you’ve mastered a new instrument, if you take Jiggs and Zena for walks together or one at a time, etc. If I get sad when I think about all that, I remember what Bill told me the day you went to heaven when I couldn’t stop crying, and he made me feel better. He told me that being with God in heaven is SO wonderful that the human mind cannot even comprehend it. Knowing that, and knowing Gramma and Edie were there looking after you, has given reassurance that you’re really happy. Do you remember the day when I went to see Bernice, and she also told me Gramma and Eddie were looking out for you and that you & Gramma were right there with me ? I think about that a lot too because it helps me to remember that you’re happy. Speaking of Bernice reminds me of Arlington, and yes, since I think you think I should, I will answer that e-mail. I still need you to help me out though … too many convoluted messages for me to figure out on my own !!! I’ll talk with you in the morning …… I have a new Kelly Hunt CD I’ll play for you when I drive to work !! Much love & many hugs from your kooky aunt, Molly Molly <MEVaughan@AOL.com> - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 19:32:27 (MST) Earlier this month, I discovered a web page in memory of a very beautiful girl named Jennifer Lynn Kerwin. She was killed in a car accident on 9/20/98. Her sister was seriously injured in the same accident. While looking at her beautiful site created by her mother Linda, the poem her mom wrote for the second year really hit home..it said everything I feel but it said it better. I asked permission to use it in Chris' guestbook... an "adapted" version..I only changed one word, in the last line, Linda's poem reads "my girls." Please visit Jenni's site at www.geocities.com/jlkangel. As I approach upon year two, More and more I'm missing you. They say it gets better, I guess they don't know Did they have a child that had to go? The emptiness I feel is beyond compare A constant pain I wish not to bare. you're in my heart with every breath I take Your memories I carry with every step I make. Your face, your hair, your scent, your smile I carry them with me every single mile What would you be doing?, what would you be? Why couldn't I keep you here with me? This guilt I feel and need to say Why couldn't I save you that awful day? Did I also fail God by losing you? The gift he gave and I never knew? Years will come and years will go But this I need for everyone to know. I am not the same and never will be Until my boys and I are again three. Fran Kempa - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 12:44:28 (MST) 11/21/02...The art is the beautiful drawing we call BLACK. It's another we never knew existed until long after Chris was killed...it wasn't even at the funeral home. Mr. Rheault found this and another drawing in the art room a few months after Chris was killed. The photo is another one taken by Jenny 11/9/00 in Chicago. Yesterday was a BAD Chris day to say the least. It was one of those days that you have little energy and just sit...think a lot and cry a lot. I thank EVERYONE who came to the Memorial, everyone who sent a card, everyone who stopped by the house, everyone who left a message in the guestbook..they're beautiful! I even heard from a few sources that Chris was ALL OVER Franklin High school yesterday!...In the form of Chris pins, T shirts and conversation! One student told me, "It didn't matter where you went in school today, people were talking about Chris!" After we left the Memorial we went home and had dinner provied by Claudia and Brad...our MAIN Angels throughout this whole ordeal! Another friend stopped by later on and we had a little party!...Talked and LAUGHED!....Thank you! Thanks Joe! Fran Kempa - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 10:19:03 (MST) I took the liberty of removing the resume that appeared here. joe.cwik - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 09:32:11 (MST) I am absolutely amazed that some knucklehead would use this precious website to post a damn resume'. What is up with that??!! JoAnne <xxx> - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 08:42:10 (MST) i don't know what to say except tears are flowing. i'll look up at you tonight. sa - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 23:15:03 (MST) Thank you!!! I would like to thank all of you who left messages on our web site. Thanks to all who came to the corner to light candles and talk. It means so much to us. Thanks "Claud A." we knew you could do it. as tiny tim said in the christmas carol Thank you one and all. Thanks for remembering Chris Kempa DAD Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 23:04:15 (MST) The day is coming to an end and i have yet to write a message here. I have thought of you and your Mom, Dad and Adam, the whole day through. Actually, there has not been a day since you died that i have not thought of you. Most of the time i shake my head and say this really cant be true. I have popped on the computer several times in the last two days to send my love but I sit here unable to put into words the feelings i have for you and your family. Our familys are close, almost scary close and I can't believe how similiar we all are together as familys and uniquely on our own. I remember the last day i talked to you. I have never shared it with anyone since you died. I saw you 4 days before you died at Foodland...Our eyes met but we both turned away, I knew that I would be able to say hello after i did my shopping so not totally acknowledging you was really no big deal. When i got to your line i asked you how you were. Your face lit up like a snowflake does when it glistens in the snow and i knew then and there you were happy with yourself. I said, I see you are working the register now chris, I am very proud of you. You stopped for a moment looked at me and i knew you got what i was trying to say. Your energy and zest for life will always live inside of me. I believe we are all put here for a reason. We are here to complete a mission and when our mission has been completed we leave. You have taught me not to be afraid to die because your energy lives on and i know you are really just a little ways away. Just the other day when your Mom and i went to the play i know you were there because my watch stopped when the play began and your moms watch stopped at the time the play ended. I miss you but you have brought your mom and i even closer to one anohter than we were before. Your mission was to bring people closer and to make all of us realize just how precious a friend can be. you did your job well Chris and i will cherish the times I was able to nurture you growing up. I love you guys...Love, Claudia Claudia <CLU455> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 22:38:32 (MST) One more thing I wanted to tell you tonight. We are giving Grandma J a piece of jewelry with 10 birthstones on it (her 4 kids..her 5 grand kids and her 1 great grand kid) We were looking at it on Monday, and it goes like this JUNE-(ME) MAY- (UNCLE BILL) SEPTEMBER (YOUR MOM) OCTOBER (AUNT MOLLY) JANUARY (KELLY) JANUARY (ADAM W) APRIL (COUSIN BILL) MARCH (JOAN) JUNE (YOU) AND DECEMBER (BRADLEY) Bradley was so excited because his stone was next to yours and you were between his and Joan's BUT...all of a sudden, he started to cry and said he was sad because BAMMA (ME) got to have the same stone as Chris and he and Joan both got the blue ones and it wasn't fair. He didn't quite get the hang of birthstones but that's what happened. Also a lot of times Bradley asks to sleep in the Chris T-Shirt.....it's more like a night shirt. He always covers your picture up with his Spiderman covers and often asks me if I could please tell God to let you reach your hand down through the clouds so he can hold your hand while he goes to sleep. He reminds my family of you...very curious...loves to draw...loves music...skateboards better than some 12 year olds....but it's his personality that reminds us the most of you.... he's not afraid to speak up for himself.....some people may think he's a little mouthy but he's really quite a thoughtful child just like you. We have been saying this since he was 2. kathy <mskatep> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 20:34:43 (MST) I just got in today from selecting my varsity basketball team. I'm having such a hard time with having to select so few and explain why others were not "good" enough. Maybe I'm just tired of it. Tired of trying to motivate. I remember all the yelling matches with chris. Getting him to try to do what we as a class were doing! explaining how if he did one thing, it would lead to success in another. Earlier today in class I saw jenna looking at the webpage. i made a comment on how there is a new design for the website here that I hadn't seen, and left her to finish whatever she was writing. Thoughts entered about chris, and I wondered if all the motivation was good enough. I couldn't have been harder! I miss him, and hope the best for the Kempa's. Mr.Rheault <looseball@earthlink.net> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 20:14:06 (MST) I wish I would have known Chris. Even though I never got to know him as a friend, I knew Chris by his artwork. Walking down the art hall to the lunch room, I always peaked in to see the work the students had done. Chris's pieces always stood out to me. I especially remember the two portraits he had done of himself; I think they were him as a devil and an angel. They were amazing. When the library set up the Franklin Art Show, I skipped one of my hours just to go look at everything. When I saw everything Chris had created, it took my breathe away. He was no doubt an incredible artist. It brought tears to my eyes to look at it. He really inspired me through my own art. And if he were still here with us, I would like to thank him for that. Without knowing it, he has pushed me in something I love. I was at the Tri-High Rukus and I saw Chris standing there. I could have said hi, but I never did and now I will never have the chance too. I regret that. Its sad that death makes some of us realize how important everyone is. I just wanted to express that even without knowing Chris, he still managed to touch my heart. And as sure and we all know, he touched a million peoples hearts as well. I'm sorry if this doesnt really make any sense, Its hard to put into words how I feel. My prays are with the Kempas today and everyday for that matter. He will never be forgotten. no comment USA - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 20:04:44 (MST) Hello all. I am just writing to say hello and that my prayers are with you all. Chris is definately in my thoughts and as is the family. i dont know really what to say except hang in there. I know its hard. Jamie Jamie harb <Jlynn3217@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 19:19:28 (MST) I wish I had some magical words to help you heal through this dreadful journey down the path of grief...time will help eventually...never totally-never completely-we get used to our children being "gone". Knowing that one day we will have a grand reunion-is my strength and salvation-remember-you all will see this wonderful young man, Christopher, again. Until then-he enjoys his new life of eternal happiness with multitudes of beautiful angels. God bless you all. In loving memory of Jenni...http://www.geocities.com/jlkangel Linda - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 18:55:02 (MST) i cant believe its already been two years since it happened. i feel like i was just at chicago with chris, walking around the art museum, while him and scott allen were checking out the statues butts. there are too many memories i had with chris. maybe not as many as some other people, but i still can remeber him walking down the hallway for lunch while i was sitting outside for photo class. he would always ask me when i worked next or what i was doing on a certain day. i wish that everything that happened would just disappear. i remeber this one time at foodland, when i was in the breakroom on my break, he came in there with some kid and sat up on the pop machines that we use to have in there. they would sit up there and throw stuff at me. they thought they would get in deep trouble but nobody ever caught them. there are too many memories to type them all. but i know that foodland has never been the same without him. Jenny Gervasi <msbanana37@hotmail.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 18:12:28 (MST) being up here at school, two hours away from livonia, your mind can get a little clouded... i must admit, i didn't remember that today was "the" day... my mom called me up, and told me, and almost routinely, my brain raced back to that moment of me arriving home from class, super tired from all the mundane class work i had, and hearing the phone ring... what i heard on the other end were the most shocking, painful, and almost foreign sounds... my brother and my mom were both crying, trying to get out the details of what happened through their sobs... my body went cold, and my jaw dropped... after the conversation, my roomate Trevor and i just sort of stared at eachother... frozen... broken... hurt... confused... questioning... angry... i imagined Mr. and Mrs. Kempa (my second parents!) feeling that way, and Adam, my oldest friend (my 3rd brother!) feeling that way, tenfold, if not more... and then, slow motion... everything, the rest of the day, the rest of the week... things happened, and we had laughs, and i saw people i had not seen in a long time, but the sadness prevailed like thick, ugly, black cloud... it still does... especially today, but for the Kempas, every day... every hour... every moment... i simply can't imagine how that feels... they are courageous, for sure... Adam: this is something we never talk about, but knowthat my respect for you and love for you as a friend will always be there... the ubiquitous "i'm here if you need me" doesn't seem like much, but it's true... but, yeah, i don't know what else to really say... but i'll get candid for a second... this whole thing has been seriously the most fucked up thing in the world... the emotional spectrum it runs is like nothing i've ever felt before... but it's people like everyone who sign this page, everybody who comes to the barn shows, anybody who lights a candle at the memorial, anybody who stops by the Kempas for a visit, anyone who drives past that goddamn intersection and holds their breath... people like that, are what makes Chris live on, no matter what... this is all very hard to articulate, and words just don't seem to do justice to what i really feel... kempas, you're in my thoughts. ryan a. <ryanrawk@hotmail.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 17:04:37 (MST) Hey Chris I miss you and you were the first thing that I thought of when I woke up this morning. I went to the cemetary yesterday to see you and mom I hope that you heard me talking to you. Me and Moriah have become really good friends and we help each other with everything (even skipping school lol). We both miss you alot sometimes but we always just make each other laugh with the memories of you. Its really nice that I have her. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I sure hope your with your family today and helping them through this horrible anniversary. I hope mom is helping you out too. Love you and miss you always and forever Katy <Katybug5384@hotmail.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 16:26:34 (MST) Thinking of you... Angie S <pinkieapple@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 16:21:44 (MST) so..... i've never been able to bring myself to write here..because the feelings i have are so hard to express...but i guess here goes....it hurts me so bad, but i know i can't even begin to imagine the hurt that the kempas feel.....i didn't want to get out of bed today, just as i wish i haden't two years ago...two years, sometimes it still feels like it was yesterday. i remember it so vividly...pain like i have never felt before..pain that i would never wish upon anybody. i will never forget every detail of that day despite the tremendous fog of shock i was in..i will never forget driving through that intersection that morning at about 10am, when police were still directing traffic, and wondering what happend. i got to merriman and plymouth and realized i forgot my homework at home, so i turned back..i was already going to be late to class, and i had a terrible cold, so i made the decision to stay home. i called my dad (who works about a half of a mile away) and mentioned the aftermath of the accident, wondering if he knew what had happend...he told me a franklin student was killed crossing the street, the first thought that ran through my head was of chris... words can't describe how quickly i dismissed it...and not twenty minutes later my phone rang, tha caller i.d. said livonia public schools, i wondered why i was getting a call, i graduated last year...maybe it was some random recording...i answered.. the shaken voice at the other end said "lauren, it's cori"...my heart sank.."who was it?" i practically yelled...it was chris.....i will never forget listening to the radiohead song "how to dissappear completly" over and over until i walked into the funeral home and heard it playing...i will never forget watching the video there that was made in his memory, and seeing the digital picture that he made of me, for the first time, i never knew it existed before that moment. i will never forget seeing adam the day after the accident, and holding him, and crying..all i could say is "i'm so sorry adam"..and he said "next time you see your brother, be sure you give him a big hug, because you never know when he'll be gone."- those words are forever imprinted in my mind, and my heart..and they are words i learned to live by in all of my relationships. this tregedy has taught all of us so much, but most importantly, it has taught us to truly value our loved ones. i think about my friend chris all of the time, and how truly lucky i am to have had the chance to know him, because so many never will...as much as it hurts, i love to think about him, i love remembering him.... "it is not what he could have been, but what he was."- my dad's comforting words. i will never forget chris kempa. mr and mrs kempa, and adam... my loving thoughts are with you today, and always. xoxo lauren r. <yellowgnome@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 15:41:03 (MST) Hey Adam and Mr. & Mrs. Kempa. My thoughts are with you on this day and always. Jenny G. - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 14:06:03 (MST) I'm stuck in late classes out here in GR otherwise I'd be in Livonia tonight. I can't believe its been 2 years. I remember that day so clearly, its so unreal. I dont think I'll be able to pay attention in class...My thoughts are with the Kempas. Cyndi <Popunq314@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 13:30:46 (MST) I never told this story to anyone, but i figure there's no time like the present. The last time i saw chris alive was at the Autumn Bash, the one chris was playing in, and i was in the class that was producing the show. Before the show had started i saw chris, and he said "hey dan what's up?" i didn't know chris was playing that night so i was surprised to see him. I told him i would be watching him, but that was it, only because he was talking to a girl that i really didn't care much for. Everyday i regret not talking to him more and just being alittle nicer. That is the most important thing i will ever learn about life, and i learned it from chris. I can't take tomorrow for granted. I still miss seeing chris and just talking to him. I haven't been able to stop thinking about that day since it happened. But i know i will see chris again one day. Dan Latarski <Dlatarski@aol.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 13:24:21 (MST) It’s hard for me to think of Chris with out thinking of the whole family. They were always the “The Kempas” to us. Claudia was so excited when she met Fran “they have 2 boys the same age as our kids”!!! And in time we learned that… all the kids love to draw … the parents and kids all love music” etc. … we had a lot in common … So, we started as neighbors but soon became good friends – all of us. And those 4 boys spent a lot of time together over the years – especially when they were young … Sometimes they fought like brothers … but they loved each other like brothers as well. And today – on this anniversary - I can only think about it in terms of the whole family. We’ve grown closer through this – You know we love Adam W. like a son and would do anything to help him – and I think he knows that to be true. And Fran and Adam, we don’t always know what to say but you know we’ll listen and try to understand. And we all miss Chris very much – but it’s been especially hard on Scott. The last time I was with Chris way the day before the battle of the bands show at Churchill – when they all wore the silver masks. The band was practicing in our basement – Chris was playing one of Scott’s keyboards and I showed him how a couple of the knobs worked. He kept fussing about until he got the sound he wanted – which he found in his own unique way. Nothing special – just a normal situation on a normal day … but never dreamt it would be the last time I would see him alive. How about a funny memory – One day I walked up the stairs to Scott’s room only to find two 6-year-old boys looking at the brassiere page in the Sears catalog … the look on their faces … priceless … total shock being caught by a DAD! How about a sweet memory – A couple of summers ago Scott and Chris were hanging out and as sometimes happened (with two strong personalities and two strong opinions – in retrospect a pretty normal thing to occur), they got into and argument. Chris left mad and Scott went down in the basement. So after about a half hour I went down stairs to see what happened – not much of an explanation followed. Back upstairs - I looked out the front door, and to my surprise there was Chris skating up and down the driveway – waiting for Scott to cool down – which he did … and for Scott to come outside – which he did … and work things out – which they did … Friendship isn’t always easy but it’s worth waiting for …. Love you guys - The Allens - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 12:58:40 (MST) I have been awake since 5AM thinking about how Fran would be today, and knowing the answer already. I drive through the school district every morning between 6:00 and 7:00 AM. Darkness is not a prevailing problem after 6:40 AM at this time of year. Darkness during this time of morning is not present. Merriman and W. Chicago is a well lit intersection during the night and wee hours of the morning anyhow. The darkness factor was not due to the time of day and that is the truth. I pray that through this horrible event that some good will come out. Stricter laws that are enforced would be a good starting point. More accurate investigations and truthful reports to the media would be encouraging as well. It's sad to say that Chris will not be here on earth with us, but hopefully through the information that's out there by just walking outside in that time of morning, Michigan will change some of its archaic laws and investigations will be more accountable to the victim and those left befind to mourn about all the things that Fran so poignantly exposed to those of us that have no clue of the monumental impact that continues to haunt her each and every day. The TRUTH <protect me from the harasser> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 12:21:33 (MST) Two years is too long...I wish I could just say, ok, we have all been in pain long enough, now come back. It hurts so much realizing he will never be coming back. I just want to hear his voice behind me, and see his smile, hear whatever was in those headphones of his, and laugh...never could you not feel good around Chris..I never got to say good-bye, and I tell myself there is no way to have known. Still, I wish I had gotten to say good-bye. I love you and miss you so very much. Not a day goes by without you crossing my mind. I don't ever want a day to go by without you in my head...at least I have the memories. JB - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 11:33:20 (MST) i never knew chris, but im sure he was great. my friend tracey showed me the site and i got interested in helping, so here i am. :)~ katie <teedl@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 10:34:49 (MST) Mr & Mrs Kempa and Adam, you will be in my thoughts today. joe cwik - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 08:09:30 (MST) a Chris memory: everyday how he would escort Cori and I from our first hour to our second hour. We woud leave Mrs. Webster's class to find him leaning against the lockers across the hall waiting. As we walked he would turn to fall in step with us and we would continue on together. He would always be smiling with Cori and I just knew he was one of the nicest guys I had ever met. I remember also how he was in my painting class my freshman year and I was so jealous of his talents which enabed him to do whatever he wanted while we had to listen to Mr. Rheault. He sat across from me always leaning over his work in the same way, concentrating so intently, or else he was joking around with Mr. Rheault. I will forever see Chris by those lockers and in the art room as I do now. JW - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:57:30 (MST) It may be sunny outside...but today I cannot be sunny inside. I will miss you and love you always. The world lost one of the most special people it had two years ago. I will forever miss our conversations and emails. Tink <poetgurl84@aol.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:39:06 (MST) It truely doesn't seem like it has been two years. 11/20/00 was most numbingly sad days of my life, as im sure was the case for anyone who knew Chris. Growing up together, we had so much fun. I am thankful for the time we had together, whether it was hanging out on the playground and in class at Grant, playing on the same Basketball team, building forts and ponds in his backyard, skateboarding, playing video games, listening to music, playing music, and just plain talking. I miss those days, and truely wish (along with everyone else) that we had more time together. While I still grieve over his death, lately whenever I think about Chris I can't help but to smile over all the fun moments we spent together as kids and as teenagers. Danny Sperry <sumirp7@hotmail.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:20:47 (MST) Chris will forever be in our memories and our hearts JW - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:19:42 (MST) I woke up this morning with a very heavy heart...aware that by the time I was up and ready to leave for my 8am class, Chris was already gone. People say that these anniversaries get easier as time goes on, but I think it is the opposite. I found myself thinking about all the things Chris COULD have done in the past two years. All the things he SHOULD have done, all the things that he SHOULD BE DOING NOW...and it makes me so upset with life. It isn't fair that he was taken so soon and so suddenly. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Kempa family...please know that so many of us are thinking about you today, and praying that the memories will always stay with you. To all of Chris's friends, honor him today...whether it is by wearing a Chris pin all day and wearing it proudly, or doing a good dead because you know that it was something that Chris would have done, or just lighting a candle and saying a prayer...do it for Chris. Michele - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 07:18:26 (MST) I'll be thinking about you today, Adam, Mr. and Mrs. Kempa. Chris O - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 06:37:02 (MST) Hello Chris and to his family. I haven't wrote in this thing for a long time.. but I thought I would. I've been thinking a lot about you Chris lately, and you and your family are in my prayers. I will be stopping by the cemetery today after I get out of class to visit. I just wanna send my regards to Chris, his beautiful family, and to all of his friends. Chris you will be in our hearts forever. We will miss you until we will meet again. But for now take care buddy. Dawn Balint <rdoggo69@cs.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 06:12:31 (MST) TWO YEARS! I miss you Chris! I miss the way you made your parents and your brother proud! I miss the way you made them laugh! I miss the way you made your grand parents smile! I miss the way you impressed your aunts uncles and cousins with your art and your music talent! I miss seeing your graduation pictures! I miss hearing about your college life! I miss being proud of what you have become! But most of all I miss you! I will be praying for your parents and your brother today on this agonizing day! Please say hi for me to all of those up there with you! As I said at your funeral mass...The world is a little less beautiful now! Uncle Bill Bill Vaughan <wtvjr1@adelphia.net> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 05:41:06 (MST) Dear Fran and Family, You just described a scenario that I can only wish was a made for TV scenario. But it wasn't and it isn't thanks to the selfish people we must deal with on our roads every single day. My heart just breaks for all of you. I didn't even know Chris or your family before this most horrific day two years ago. But I felt an immediate connection when I learned of it. We feel the same way on many issues and we know what must be done to bring about change. Change is not going to be an easy task. It will be met with resistance. I stand behind you 100%. No one should ever, ever have to be treated as your family was. No one should ever, ever have to experience your pain. A pain that will never, ever go away. Not in a million lifetimes. I pray that the truth be known soon to ease just a pinch of your pain so that you may rise up and do what has to be done. I keep you all in fervent prayer today for the strength and courage to battle on. You deserve some much needed relief. Chris is shining down on you with his love and support to keep you going and to help you bring about change. Keep the faith! The day is coming! May your family feel the embrace of all us out here near and far. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 05:35:42 (MST) 11/20/02..I have been awake since 4:30 am and thinking about how my sister-in-law and her family is feeling...I CAN'T!! The only feeling I have is tremendous sadness and such sorrow for her and her family! I DO beleive Chris is in a better place than this earth, but I know that his presence is so tremendously missed by his family and friends. I wish there was a way for this awful sorrow to be lifted, but it never will. This is their new life and what we all have to do is keep them in prayer and hope someday they are reunited with their son. Remebering you on this very sad 2 yr. anniversary of your death Christopher...We will be praying for you later this afternoon at Canisius College. You will be in our thoughts all day..as you are every day. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 04:14:58 (MST) 11/20/02.......Same broken heart as yesterday. The photo is another taken by Jenny Gervasi in Chicago, 11/9/00, at Geno's East as Chris carved his name in a table...with only ten days to live...... Two years ago today, Christopher's life was ended and as a reault, our future with him in our lives ended too. In that moment, the lifelong task of redefining our lives without him was forced upon us. Our lives were derailed, we were given a ticket on a roller coaster by a complete stranger and his family. We never wanted it, we never asked for it, we never dreamed it could happen...but it did! The act took seconds, the ride will last forever. Our hearts were broken in a way that can't be described or explained....you have to experience it and I pray to God, you never have to. Chris was a precious gift at birth. We were so blessed to be his family and to be allowed to nurture such an incredible human being. As he grew, he exhibited many precious gifts of his own.....Which makes the loss SO much more difficult to take!........... Where do I begin to describe the loss?....Do I start with the loss of him?...His presence, the essence of him, his goodness, his kindness, his calm, his caring, his humor, his sweet heart, his wonderful talents? Do I start with the loss to me and his Dad?....His love, his affection, his companionship, his energy, his accomplishments, his future love interests, our future grandchildren? Do I start with the loss to Adam william?...His brotherly love and companionship, his admiration, their future ventures together as multi talented brothers, the meshing of their own families in the future, the fact that they'd have each other even after we were gone? Do I start with the loss to his friends and extended family? Do I start with the loss to the community and the world in general?....I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN THE MAGNITUDE OF THE LOSS!! Two years ago today,my life as I knew it ended too. For YEARS, my boys were my life. As Adam grew and became more independant, my focus was on Chris.....At that point in time, Chris WAS my life!....We were SO close! The driver broke my heart and shattered my life in a way I can't describe, but he and his family can NEVER break the person or the spirit!...CHRIS won't allow that! I'll never forget that knock, I'll never forget the encounter by the front door with the blonde lady police officer, I'll never forget being told, "well, he's been struck", I'll never forget SCREAMING as I ran upstairs, "OH MY GOD!!!, Chris has been hit by a car!!", I'll never forget the blonde lady telling me and Adam she'd "Escort us to the scene", I'll never forget following the police car down Berwik in Adam's car, I'll never forget her STOPPING as she reached West Chicago, I'll never forget her talking into her shoulder radio, I'll never forget jumping out of the car and SCREAMING at her...."WHAT"S GOING ON??!!!" I'll never forget her telling us that he'd already left for the hospital. I'll never forget her telling us to go to the hospital, I'll never forget telling Adam to forget that and to go to the scene, I'll never forget her realizing what we were doing and BLOCKING West Chicago with her police car....did she REALLY think I'd ever forget?? I'll never forget her waving us down Auburndale, I'll never forget the ride to the hospital, I'll never forget crying, "It's bad, I know it's bad!" I'll never forget death never entering my mind, I'll never forget imagining serious injuries and a life flight to U of M, I'll never forget poor Adam trying to drive and comfort me at the same time, I'll never forget him putting his arm around me as he drove and saying, "now Mom, you don't know that", I'll never forget thinking, "Oh yes I do" I'll never forget entering the ER and begging them not to keep us waiting, I'll never forget being told he wasn't there yet....that made NO SENSE!! I'll never forget waiting for what seemed like forever, I'll never forget being taken to the back of the ER, I'll never forget the blonde lady Dr. standing outside the room, I'll never forget CRYING, I'll never forget taking both of her hands in mine and crying, "It's REAL bad isn't it?!" I'll never forget her telling me, "He's had no brain or heart activity since the scene", I'll never forget seeing CPR being performed out of the corner of my eye, I'll never forget thinking then why the hell are you performing CPR on a dead boy?, I'll never forget telling them to stop, I'll never forget her asking if we wanted to see Chris after they stopped, I'll never forget seeing him and Adam's reaction to seeing him....here was my baby DEAD on a gurney, intubated, covered with blood, eyes big as saucers, a look of terror etched on his face....and here was my oldest son, throwing himself on the floor next to his dead brother, screaming and sobbing...I stood in the doorway and just shut down....I'll never forget thinking, "this isn't real, this can't be happening..." Fran Kempa - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 00:06:11 (MST) i will light a candle for you tonight chris. i wish this day never would of happened...i miss you and love you always Chris. my thoughts and prayers go out to the Kempa family and everybody that knew chris. Katie B. - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 22:50:52 (MST) I really think this site is wonderful. Even though Chris and I hadn't been close since 6th grade it reminded me of all the great times we had together. Mr. and Mrs. Kempa, I'm not even sure if you remember me, but you have my deepest sympathy. Chris was a great kid. -Robin L. Muir Robin L. Muir <rmuir@umich.edu> - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 21:47:36 (MST) Tomorrow is a lesson that I would have rather gone unlearned ...at least the way it did I'm sorry I couldn't see you one last time Or touch your hand knowing that in time it would only be torn away from me I wish that I had the words to make this all go away I wish your angelic wings weren't spread over merriman and west chicago for the rest of our eternity But there's a difference between what you wish for and what you get I wish I could hear your guitar I wish could admire your art I wish I didn't have to write this Or that people didn't have to read this I wish you would write me back And that's a wish I've gotten Your words are scrawled across the midnight sky with the dynamo Crayola colors that you used to paint our memories thank you for being there, though it was only for a short time. Someone told me that God takes the best people, because he needs them, and just can't wait for them. In your case, i believe that to be beyond the truth. Heroes are strongest in their time of death And death is life's last great adventure so goodnight sweet prince And may you help us all to be brave in ways that we do not know how Anonymous - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 21:44:27 (MST) May God help to lighten your heavy hearts at this time. My prayers will include Chris and your family. Mary Lou Laurila <mllaurila@aol.com> - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 21:07:51 (MST) I hope this does not sound incensetive but I was going to visit the cemetery tomorrow, and I was wondering if anyone had any information as to how I could find Chris. I have never been there before. My condolences to the Kempa family, I know how hard this is on me, and I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you. You, your family, and Chris will forever in my prayers. anonymous - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 20:11:38 (MST) "Ferris Bueller Buff" Your cd, "Chris Kempa @ Home" The way you put quotes in "the" wrong places. The time you listened to me so intently when I tried to give you advice behind the Anne of Green Gables set. When you told me you'd make a band called "Dana's Theory". When you gave me Bubbles the powerpuff girl. The song you made me listen to the last time I saw you, "you've got to admit it's getting better, getting better all the time". When you let me wear your Kentucky Elliot hoodie when it was cold out like a perfect gentleman...that was from that moment on was so sought after with it's perfect scent of dryer sheets. Sitting in the cubby in the morning while you told me and Cori bands and paintings we wouldn't like. The portrait you drew of me on newspaper at the bean that the waitress threw out! All your sweaters that I loved, and your "tight" Promise Ring shirt. The countless Jones you bought me. That you changed me musically for the better. That you liked me for who I was when I didn't think that I could be a very likeable person, and treated me like a true friend when I wasn't sure I had many of those. That you wished I was in your grade so we could've known each other longer. I wish that too. I'm thankful everyday of my life for the time I had with you. I will always miss you and never forget you. Thank you for everything. <3 Dana Dana <justducky@ameritech.net> - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 18:26:36 (MST) Chris Memories 1984:THE 1st timeI saw you was August for your Baptism. You were a very beautiful little baby boy. I still remember you and Joan (1 at the time) laying side by side in a crib and looking at each other with pacifiers in both mouths! I remember Joan's diaper leaked on the marble steps of the church sanctuary during the ceremony (I know it's not very reverent) anyhow we were all watching you get baptised and didn't notice the leaky diaper puddle, which had formed on the marble steps...next thing I knew I heard someone's foot stomping in what sounded like a puddle...YUP it was Joan in her red mary jane sneakers. I was so embarrassed! Later we had a picnic at Grandma and Grandpa's. A lot of people came to see you. 1984 Christmas was the next time I saw you..again in Buffalo..you were a precious little thing in your red blanket sleeper. I remember your mom needed a break, so I got to hold you a lot one day. 1985 (July or August) You were 1 and you came to visit us in PA. You and Joan both took a good nap one day when your mom went out sight seeing in the Amish country.Adam and Kelly went swimming in the splash pool on the deck.Joan got potty trained that month, so we sent your mom home with a roof carrier full of left over diapers that Uncle Mike's company made and we had stockpiled. Christmas 1985: I think we saw you again in Buffalo....more red blanket sleepers! Like the Christmas Card from last year! 1986: not sure when we saw you guys..probably summer and/or Christmas. 1987 Summer I remember taking you and Adam, Kelly and Joan to see GHOSTBUSTERS at the movie theater at the Galleria Mall in Cheektowaga. In hindsight, it was a dumb movie to take a 3 year old to because you got scared and cried and sat in my lap most of the movie...you kept your face buried on my shoulder and occasionally peeked out to see what was going on. 1988: We saw you guys in Buffalo in August. I think Uncle mike took you kids to Niagara Falls (maybe it's the wrong year) 1989: We came to see your family.....you were in the other house......you made your mom show us the "mansion", which was to become your house! 1990 or 1991 Summer you came to NC...we went to the pool. Uncle Mke took you golfing. You loved the golf cart! You and your brother and cousins Joan and Kelly went to a day camp on a farm one day. I remember you liked that a lot! (all of you) 1992-2000 I don't think we saw you guys at all, but I always heard lots about you from your mom and the rest of the family. You were the "favorite" because you were the youngest and always did the cute things and asked the cute questions. June 10, 2000 Your parents were in Buffalo and so was I ! It was the first time we had seen each other in years (your mom and me)I was so glad to see her, but she was apprehensive because it was your 16th birthday. I remember that we were saying he was probably having a good time with his friends, yet it bothered your mom a lot. Who would have known she was in buffalo for your last birthday on this earth. To this day it tears me up that she sacrificed that day to see me. How Iwish there had been some way for us to have known so she could spend that day with you. November 20, 2000. Kelly, Bradley, Joan and I are sitting in our family room in NC. bradley was 2 and a really curious little guy. Joan and kelly kept saying he reminded them soooooo much of you! We started planning Thanksgiving dinner to be spent with our neighbors. I told my friend we'd finalize the plans at 6:30. However, we got a phone call from Grandma and Grandpa with the HORRIFIC news about your terrible death. later I noticed that on the caller ID we had received a lot of phone calls all day long from various family members, yet nobody left a message. i guess it's not the kind of thing you leave on someone's answering machine. I vividly remember the visitation and the funeral and how overwhelmed I was at the support and friendships present. I have never seen such a beautiful tribute to someone's life as i saw at your funeral. They say you can tell what kind of person it was that passed away by the attendance at their funeral. WOW yours was the biggest one I've ever seen. i also want to say something about your art. From the time you were a toddler, it was evident that you had a huge GIFT in the fine arts. I was amazed by all the Ninja Turtles when you were a little guy.I had no clue you would ever continue to become such a rare talented young artist. A lot of kids just go through a drawing phase and then quit, but you continued to stretch your abilities beyond our wildest imaginations. Oh I remember how shocked i was to see you in August 2000 for the 5oth anniversary. You were a grown-up boy and it bothered me that we had seen you so seldom all your life. (Your whole family) I remember hugging you and saying the last time I saw you that you were still a baby (exaggeration but close) I remember that you drew something for Joan on a paper napkin at the party and how she was holding it as a prized possession. But somehow it got mistaken for a used napkin and was discarded that night. Joan was so upset about it and Iremember blowing it off as Oh he can make you another one anytime.(I AM SORRY) I still don't know if i am the one that discarded it or not..I am a neat freak so I am the likely suspect. I just pray that your mom and the rest of your family will be able to get through the next few weeks and especially tomorrow. Your mom keeps remembering what she was doing just before your untimely death. Many of us also do the same, but the heart of your mom will never be intact. When i saw today's art with the broken heart it made me think of her. I pray that God will comfort your family and that through a sad event, He will allow something good to come of this nightmare. GOD BLESS LOVE K Kathy <mskatep@aol.com> - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 18:10:18 (MST) Just want to let you know I am thinking about Chris and those who loved him most, Fran, Adam and Adam w. My thoughts and prayers and my heartfelt feelings of sadness and love go out to all of you at this time. If I don't get to see any of you tomorrow, please know that you are in my heart and my thoughts and prayers today, tomorrow and always. Your names and Chris's name is put on the prayer list at work every month as a new month begins. What else can I say... I think of all of you, Chris and Fran the most. My love to you all. We will all relive 11/20/00 in our own way with our own thoughts and recolections of that fateful day. I love you all. Hope to connect with you tomorrow. Nancy L. - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 17:37:24 (MST) 11/19...I just want Cori to know I'm thinking about her today. And as I stated the other day, I believe Chris will be with her....he'd never pass up a trip to Chicago! Fran Kempa - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 09:23:34 (MST) Dear Lord...please watch over the Kempa family as they get through these next couple of days....the worst time of the year for them. Give them strength and the courage to continue on...and Lord, please bless all of the angels in heaven that are no longer with their loved ones on this earth..for someday, we will all be together again..We have GOT to believe that!! JV USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 05:54:37 (MST) I remember 11/19/00 picking Chris up from work. We had dinner at home, and I remember that I knew he had home work to do. One of the chores Chris did each year was to coil up the hoses we use to water the garden. To get the water out of the hose we would pull the hose through the crook of a large tree in the back yard. Since Chris had home work I did the task and put the hoses away. I remember looking back on the house through that dark November night and thinking that we were all set for winter. I am so happy that I did those chores for Chris that night. He had time with his mother, brother and pets. The next morning he was killed. What right did they have to make such a decision? A decision that we had no say in. A decision that we would live with for the rest of our lives. The truth will come out. Miss you always Chis, always...... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 01:13:09 (MST) 11/19/02...The cover page is the front page of the Livonia Observer 11/23/00....Thanksgiving day!!...But I was so NOT giving thanks!..The art is a broken heart Chris drew somewhere along the line... I don't remember when or why... but I thought it was fitting...The photo is another taken 11/9/00 by Jenny in Chicago at Geno's East...thank you katie!...as he carved his name into a table with only ten days to live! Two years ago I have MANY memories of! On Sun., 11/17/02 I was talking to a few co workers about the 20th...these same co workers were with me and conversing with me on Sun., 11/19/00. I told them Sunday how from the minute I walked into work that Sunday 11/19/00, until the minute I walked out of St. Mary's Hospital on 11/20/00...I remember EVERYTHING SO VIVIDLY!...I told them how that portion of time seems like a second ago,....while sadly, remembering Chris as a tangible human being in some ways feels like FOREVER ago!...I remember being at work that day, I remember what we talked about at change of shift, I remember walking out the door to go home, I remember CLEANING when I came home from work, I remember Chris coming home from work shortly after 5, I remember changing into a nightgown before dinner because I was so tired and wanted to be more comfortable, I REMEMBER Chris sitting at his spot at the kitchen counter as we ate dinner....I can STILL SEE HIM!!, I remember we had hamburgers, I remember what we talked about during dinner, I remember him telling me he picked up a shift for a coworker for tomorrow....11/20/00, I remember him telling me he could use the money...and Annette asked!, I remember talking about drivers ed, I remember him asking me for help with it, I remember agreeing to help him around 7, I remember 7 coming and me asking him if he would mind doing the work in the bedroom, I remember the questions being so hard and seeing why he needed help, I remember having two drivers manuals and a notebook between us, I remember him having on his Larry's Foodland sweatshirt, khaki Dockers and biege socks, I remember him lying on the bed on his left side with his chin propped on his right hand as we worked,I remember nodding out, I remember asking him if he noticed, I remember him saying not really, but he did notice my voice got soft, I remember him changing positions and kneeling on the floor and using the bed as a desk, I remember us needing a break, I remember watching Millionare, I remember asking him about his Christmas list, I remember him going to check his E mail, I remember Adam w. coming home and joining us in the bedroom, I remember the three of us watching Millionare, I remember Regis talking Norm out of going for the million, I remember Chris fliting in and out of the room, I remember him asking us if we'd start buying Altoids, I remember Adam and I looking at each other and smiling, I remember telling him, "Maybe, why?", I remember him telling us, "because I want to do an art project out of the containers." I remember being alone in the bedroom watching Practice, I remember Chris coming in to show me Cori's card, I remember him holding it up at the foot of the bed, I remember asking him if I could read it, I remember him telling me, "No way!" I remember him coming back into the bedroom for some clothing advice, I remember him having on a biege sweater with a white T shirt underneath, I remember him twisting and turning in the mirror, I remember him asking me if I thought he'd lost too much weight recently, I remember telling him no honey...you look just right, I remember him saying then maybe he'd stop buying his shirts so big....and most regretably, as he turned to leave the bedroom....I remember asking him if he would mind WALKING to school in the morning...And I remember his sweet answer, "Mom, if you'll help me for an hour with my drivers ed tomorrow, it will more than make up for me walking!"........ I so thank everyone for their Chris memories...they mean so much to me! Fran Kempa - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 23:58:41 (MST) thinking of you today as always. i can't believe wednesday is 2 years. in some ways, it feels like yesterday. i can remember hearing the news and how horribly shocked i was. we all were. i think i will stop by to see you. sometimes i wish i would have stopped by the bank the night i saw you skating in the lot. i don't like being regretful. i'll leave it to a ment-to-be moment...but it's still a thought when i pass by there. in class today we had to pick topics of persuasive speeches. i think i am going to do one on safer driving. i will wear my chirskempa.com shirt. i think what happened opens the eyes of many people,and i'd like to open a few more. we all miss you soo much. amber - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 21:28:47 (MST) seeing Zach's posting here gave me some courage. I read this guestbook every day, mostly because it's an easy way for me to learn more about Chris, because I never got the chance to personally, and he's such an important part of Adam's life. yet, since I never knew Chris, I never know what I'd say if I were to post on here. what I can say, though, is that although I never met him, I've been lucky enough to hear a countless number of stories and learn tiny bits about him from this website, and being around his family so often. though I've experienced the pain of losing loved ones, I can't bear the thought of my own brother being gone in an instant, as was Adam's. and though I could never begin to understand the pain of losing a child, I saw how affected my own parents were when they had to witness the pain of my friends and myself, in dealing with the loss of one of our dear friends. obviously, they related more to the parents of our friend, rather than us, shuddering to think of what it would feel like to be in their shoes. what amazes me is how warm, welcoming, and friendly the Kempas have *always* been to me (and I have only known them in the aftermath of this loss). my heart hopes that they know that they are always in my thoughts. sarah fabian <nevendmath@aol.com> - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 18:46:43 (MST) I don't remember exactly when I met Chris, but I've known him since elementary school. We've always been great friends and I'm fortunate enough to have some great memories with him. Whether we were working on our mural at grant or other art projects,or working on math with together in sixth grade, we always seemed to have a great time together. We stayed good friends all through middle school and high school and I looked forward to talking to Chris every day. The last day I spoke with Chris was today, two years ago. I was going hunting and had stopped by Larry's to pick up some pop. Chris was working, so I stopped to talk with him. We talked for a little while about how our lives were going, and at the end he wished me luck hunting. Chris always seemed thrilled to talk with me, with anyone for that matter. He was always a pleasant, kind hearted person, and thats always the way Chris was. He was such a great person and I try to emulate his attitude and personality every single day that goes by. If everyone faced everyday the way Chris did, the world would be a better place to live in. My thoughts and prayers are with the Kempas during this time of year. Matt Comben <fatmat772001@yahoo.com> - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 16:34:36 (MST) Thank you for the beautiful comments regarding my Mom and I...we love what we do. Teaching is a true honor and joy. I will continue to honor the memory of Chris and to pray for the hearts of those who love him. Ms. Hillman - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 15:54:02 (MST) I was never friends with Chris. I think I only met him once. I was 14, or 15 working at foodland and hanging out in rosedale fairly often. I remember meeting some kids at the grant elementary park. I vaguely remember being introduced to a kid named "cheese." That's it. Years later, I remember reading about chris' death at u of m dearborn inbetween classes, and making the connection. Although I've never fully made the effort to find out the meaning behind "the truth will come out," I can relate to that notion. When my cousin liz committed suicide, our family knew there were more facts that had yet to reveal themselves. Through adam being our drummer, I've been placed in fairly close proximity to this horrible event and its aftermath. As someone who never knew chris, this website has been a great way to learn about him and how much he is appreciated. All of his art is very cool and I check out the site regularly. This summer I had a dream where I had a conversation with chris about adam being our drummer and how he liked our band. Crazy as that sounds, it seemed undeniably real. My thoughts are with the Kempas during this tough time. Zach Curd <curdzach@msu.edu> - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 11:09:46 (MST) Ms. Hillman may not realize the role that star wars played in our home. When the boys were little and had the "stomach flu", all we could give them was seven up and crackers. Then we would get a sleeping bag and a quilt for the "patient". Often one of us would stay home, I would grade exams or prepare classes. We would play one of the star wars tapes on the VCR. The "patient" would camp out and watch the video. Sometimes it was "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back" back to back. After a while this became the standard "treatment" when the kids were sick. I don't know how many times they watched these videos but I know it was many. Miss you always, Dad <afk49@aol.com> - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 02:23:04 (MST) i remember the week Chris was in class ( radio & tv, the last week i saw chris ), we had already figured out, written out and drawn out the script for our commercial. we decided to take a break for the rest of the hour, it so happens that i had this little bottle of white out in my backpack, chris being so talented, tried to write is name on the back of this one girls notebook WITH his Kentucky Elliot hoody on backwards WITH the hood over his face. well he ended up writting his name purfect on the note book and without me knowing trying to get put the whiteout on me WITH the hood still over his face. with me trying to hold back his arms and him still trying to put the white out on me, ms. hillman told us to be nice and stop goofing around. chris pulled the hood off of his face and started laughing, i couldn't help but laugh also. 5 mins before the bell rang for passing time, chris and i were standing by the door and he had the erg to sit down, well for some reason he decided to sit on the edge of a plastic trash can and ended up falling over and denting the whole side of it in....once again chris started laughing at the fact that he was being a goofball....that's what he was a goofball at heart lol...be he was also a caring person at heart....i miss all of that, but all i can do now is remember instead of making more wonderful and funny memories with him.... i miss you kiddo.... Katie B. - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 01:14:31 (MST) It's getting colder out. I can see my breath in the air. colors leafs have fallin now. This time we'd always seem to come closer again. every years. Caleb and I record a chrismas song together the other day chris...I really wish you were apart of it. we did a peanut song: "Christmas time is here" it's for Erik SSM Christmas Comp. Like I said, I wish you were there. sometimes I wish the world would stop. Do you know what I mean? Maybe you do. You've always seemed to get my weird comesnts like that. "olden times and ancient rhymes of love and dreams too." With love, -Scott A. SA <organparade@hotmail.com> - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 00:06:14 (MST) It's getting colder out. I can see my breath in the air. colors leafs have fallin now. This time we'd always seem to come closer again. every years. Caleb and I record a chrismas song together the other day chris...I really wish you were apart of it. we did a peanut song: sa <organparade@hotmail.com> livonia, mi USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 00:05:29 (MST) 11/18/02...Same Apple 1 art as yesterday. The photo is another taken by Jenny in Chicago, 11/9/00, during the Franklin art department field trip....10 days to live!!....This photo IS Chris..EXACTLY how he was the day he was killed...zits and all...THANK you Jenny for taking it,....but she knows how greatful I am!! Joanne was SO right on with her message to Angie Hillman...Chris LOVED Angie! She was a big influence in both my boys lives. I can STILL remember...about one month before Chris was killed, both of us attending parent/teacher confrences for Chris at Franklin....as we ALWAYS did...NEVER missed one for either of our precious boys through out the years....2000's confrence was WONDERFUL in all subjects....EVERYTHING was going right for Chris!!..The last teacher we visited that evening was Angie Hillman for Radio and TV...not to mention Players!...As in SO many instances leading up to his death, I have VIVID memories of this encounter. Angie was SO positive about Chris and his abilities, not only in her class...but in the theatre! She made it a point to tell us she had put Chris in charge of videoing the fall play!! During the drive home, I told Adam how I was SO impressed with all of Chris' teachers....but most impressed by Angie Hillman....I told him how I couldn't believe how RIGHT ON she was in her opinions of Chris....and I said, "It's almost like she can read these kids, and know where they're coming from!!"...And I continue to believe that....both Angie and her Mom have made such a difference in SO many kids lives, it's unbelieveable!....And then she went on to make such a difference in MY life as a result of 11/20/00....She truly was one of my MANY angels during that horrible time...but what got me most at the time and still gets me to this day....she really didn't know me....but she KNEW my boys and she just stepped in and took over and buoyed me in SO many ways....Chris' wake and funeral would not have been SO meaningful had it not been for Angie Hillman and I STILL thank her from the bottom of my heart...she TRULY HONORED Chris in life and death! Two years ago today I am sad to say, I have very few Chris memories of...he and I both worked...I got off at three, he got off at five....and then for him, there was the last performance of the play.... The only VIVID Chris memory I have of that evening was right before he was leaving for the play....Maybe 6 to 6:30....Adam W. had agreed to take Chris to Franklin so Adam and I could eat dinner...I can STILL see him rushing around the downstairs, gathering his video equipment as we ate...but I didn't think anything of it...this was Chris and this was our life....At some point, he said his swift goodbyes and was out the door. Adam and I continued wuth our dinner...not two minutes later, the front door BURST open, Chris rushed in and said, "Forgot the Jones!"....he picked up a Larry's Foodland bag from the green chair in the living room, then was gone as quickly as he reappeared! I can STILL hear those Jones soda bottles clanking together as he RUSHED out the door again!....I STILL REMEMBER!!! Fran Kempa - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 23:46:42 (MST) Ms. Hillman...people like you are the angels on earth..I believe you were a very important part of Christopher's life as he was yours. I never met you, but am so impressed by everything I have read over the last two years. You have been the support and friendship the Kempas have needed, and your honesty and integrity with the students is to be admired. Thank you for being the person you are. You ARE making a difference in people's lives. Best Regards!! JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 20:16:47 (MST) It was so good to see Mrs. Kempa and Mrs. Allen at the show! The kids love seeing you both! One of my many Chris memories was in the classroom. My brother in law insisted that I watch all of the STAR WARS movies in one sitting, since I had never seem them before. I loved them and told my class that very thing the next morning. Chris was sitting in the front row and was smiling SO HUGE at my story! As the class period went on, Chris and I talked about STAR WARS and he asked who my favorite character was...besides Yoda, I said "Obi Wan." He wrote me a note that said "I will paint you OBI WAN" and signed it, Chris Kempa. He also brought me a small figure of Obi Wan the next day as a "prize!" I kept him on my desk. About a month later, that same Obi Wan traveled with me to the menorial site, where I placed him on the ground along with a prayer. I will never forget Chris, and the impact he and his family have had in my professional and personal life. He will always be a part of my history and will always hold a special place in my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with the Kempa family and all those affected by the loss of Chris as November comes and goes once again. Ms. Hillman - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 17:17:12 (MST) One time Jenny Tocco, Chris and I were at this park. And Chris found a bigwheel all by its lonesome with no one around it. He thought that it was abandoned so he started riding it around. Not long after that a little boy came up and said "hey that's my big wheel!" Chris was so embarrassed..... Corinne - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 12:41:30 (MST) I don't know where to start with my message exactly - Maybe with the fact that I am the father of two boys myself , Austin is 9 and Keenan is 5 . I have run by the memorial site many times and finally visited the web site tonight . I am sorry I never knew your son , and yet in a way I feel connected to your family maybe because I have two boys of my own . I checked out all the parts of your site and am convinced you were truly blessed with the life of your son Chris - much , much too brief as it was . I wish you continued strength and good will . Tobin Jones - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 23:35:33 (MST) 11/17/02...We call this drawing Apple 1....how I WISH I knew the story behind this one. Once again, it's a drawing we never saw until AFTER Chris was killed....in this case, LONG after. It was one of the drawings and poems Chris threw out Sunday night, 11/19/00, as he "cleaned" his bedroom in preparation for our Thanksgiving Company. The garbage bags he prepared that night were taken to the garage shortly after he was killed...but THANK God we had sense enough despite our fog to know Chris well enough.... to know there most likely were what he thought to be garbage a few hours ago,.... treasures contained in those bags...there were two bags.....we mustered the energy to go through them in March or April of 2001....and treasures we did find! The photo was taken in October, 2000...again I think the 17th.....Homecoming...almost exactly one month before he was killed! When I dropped him off at Franklin that evening, he was wearing his suit and the white shirt and tie he was buried in...He HATED his suit so he had taken his black turtleneck with him and somewhere during the night, changed into it....It's the same black sweater I still so often wear... Two years ago it was a Friday, not a Sunday...ANOTHER VIVID memory....Adam was stil in DC and I worked that day. I remember shortly before change of shift...shortly before three, talking to my co worker from India...teling her of my BUSY afternon and evening after I left work....but I was telling her and smiling about it, certainly not complaining!....I can STILL see myself at the gas pump on my way home to pick Chris up for his last drivers ed class...but who knew....We had great conversation as I drove him to Bryant Center. When I dropped him off, he seemed very anxious about me picking him up on time...he had many things to do that day as well!....He was worried about being on time for the play. As MANY things came back to haunt me after he was killed...and still do..I REMEMBER trying to calm him down by being calm and reassuring myself...I told him something like, "Chris!, I'll pick you up where I'm dropping you off....I PROMISE, I'll be here for you!!" Rather than going all the way home, I went to a grocery store a block away from his lesson and made a POINT to be back in the parking lot early....EXACTLY where I said I'd be. But he seemed so worried, I decided to go into the building and wait outside his classroom door to reassure him. As it turned out, right before I reached his door, Chris rounded the corner on his way out as he talked and laughed with three girls!....He didn't seem too upset to see me though. We drove to Larry's, he picked up his check, and the Jones, we drove to McDonalds, and ordered a large chocolate shake.....Chris LOVED McDonalds chocolate shakes!!...As we left the drive thru, Chris took a taste of his shake....it was the wrong flavor...I think it was some obscure promotion at the time and it was banana....NOT acceptable!....I mumbled as I headed back to McDonalds and Chris questioned whether I was upset with him...I reassured him he had nothing to do with the error...I was upset because in all the years that this McDonalds existed...Joy and Merriman,... we'd never placed an order that wasn't screwed up...and this time it was only one item and I was amazed!...I dropped him at Franklin, he easily talked me out of going to the play and I went home to an empty house and cleaned my heart out...for what I thought to be Thanksgiving....for what turned out to be my baby's funeral gathering. He got a ride home from the play, rode with me to the airport late that night to pick Adam up fron DC, we came home, and I went to bed....had to work in the morning....NO CLUE my baby was only with me for two more short days....And three days later, the day he was killed, how those words came back to haunt me and still do.....That's all I thought about at first..."I promise, I'll be there for you..." But a blonde lady police officer wouldn't let me be there for him as he lay in the road dying....she blocked the road with her police car and wouldn't let me pass....How my thoughts and opimions of many things, people and institutions have CHANGED since 11/20/00!....and remain changed forever. Vivian C.,....I talked to Diana yesterday, she said you E mailed me but I never got it...PLEASE try again...I would love to talk to you again!! Fran Kempa <Notfranny@aol.com> - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 23:24:14 (MST) My thoughts and prayers remain a constant for the Kempa Family as another painful year is coming to past. Your strength continues to amaze me. I stand behind you and wait for the almighty truth to be known, and it WILL be known. Keep the Faith. Good will triumph over evil. MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 20:31:32 (MST) Hi, just wanted to let the Kempas know, I've never missed one message posted here. Reading them helps me learn so much more about Chris, and makes me wish so hard that I could have known him longer. As long as this site exists, I will contine to read and learn about what an awesome person Chris was. :) - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 19:38:46 (MST) REMBERING CHRIS On November 20th (a reposting) We do not plan to have anything formal at the corner. We will probably go up to the corner in the evening around 7 o'clock to light candles. If anyone wants to join us they are welcome. If you could please leave a Chris memory in the guest book between now and November 20th. It would be greatly appreciated. It could be how you first met him, or something funny that you may remember or what you remember most about Chris.... Or Just to say "Hi" You have the option of not leaving your email address to avoid unwanted harassment. THANK YOU for all your recent visits to this site. Dad <afk49@aol.com> - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 16:00:28 (MST) 11/16/02....Same wonderful, cherished art as yesterday. The photo is yet another self photo Chris took of himself in Oct. 2000! The play last night was amazing as usual. But for this one the set, the costumes, the makeup, the mannerisms and the talent were incredible!...how did those kids memorize those lines?! I know the Hillmans and all of Franklin are VERY proud of the cast and crew!! Cori was elegant and elequoent as Titania. Dana was...someone who came up to her while we were talking after the play summed it up best.."You have got to be the cutest little thing I've ever seen!"... as Puck! I know tonights performance will go just as well! Cori gave me two of her Senior pictures!..they are BEAUTIFUL! In one, she's wearing her Chris pin. I put that one in the frame of one of the Chris portraits on the mantle...I think he likes that! I was happy to see Katie B. and was glad she sat with us. During the intermission we stayed in our seats and chatted. She revealed another irony from that most horrible day. Some where along the way, I was told that Chris' death was announced to the school during third period. I never wondered what his third period class was....I don't know why. Katie said when she got to her third period class, CIVICS she realized Chris wasn't there....shortly after, the Principal made the announcement...I find it so interesting that he was identified at the scene by his CIVICS book, and his death was announced during HIS third period class, CIVICS! Two years ago today Adam was in DC, Adam W. was working and Chris was consumed with the fall play...I had some time to myself and started CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!...NO clue! I went to Kohl's and purchased the tablecloth for our Thanksgiving feast..the one I was FINALLY able to use two years later..and two pair of Khaki Dockers...one for Adam, one for Chris...Adam's are well worn, Chris' have recently made it out of the Kohl's bag in my closet where they remained for almost two years. They are now in his room ...tags still on. I remember this shopping experience vividly because I was so proud of myself...in my mind, I was starting my shopping early, tending to be a last minute shopper in the past....I had NO CLUE! Fran Kempa - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 15:18:24 (MST) Hey, I was just talking with some friends and thinking about chris today, so i figured i'd come on to tell everyone how much I still miss him!! Loved you lots, and still do....We all do A Friend - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 14:26:48 (MST) I was writing to inqiure as to whether or not there will be a memorial service for chris on the 20th. Thanks Anonymous <none> USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 09:17:25 (MST) Thank you for the Chris memory posting... Its okay if you only want to say "Hi" Many times I have left the message "The truth will come out" Guess what...it will Dad <afk49@aol.com> - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 23:58:51 (MST) Hey kiddo. Saw a Jones Soda bottle on a table at a restaurant tonight, thought of you as always. Miss you so much... Friend - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 18:30:41 (MST) What a handsome boy he was! His family and everyone who knew him must wonder what he'd look like today as a fine young man. I can't even begin to imagine the loss. A Franklin Mom - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:25:56 (MST) 11/15/02....The art is the beautiful watercolor he worked on but never finished at Career Center in Nov. 2000. Once again, we never knew it existed until Mr. Rheault brought it to the Funeral Home...and yes, it did become our Christmas card for 2001...I think even if Chris had lived, I still would have made it into a Christmas card...but it would have been finished! The photo is another of the self photos taken of Chris by Chris in Oct. 2ooo...about one month before he was killed! Claudia and I are going to the Franklin play tonight. Many of Chris and Scott's friends are Seniors this year...Cori has one of the lead roles!...Looking forward to it, but at the same time, it's very hard..two years ago today, Chris was very involved with the fall play, Anne of Green Gables... with only four days to live!...and even though he would have graduated in June, I KNOW he would have gone to the play this year to support all of his friends! Fran Kempa - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 13:57:06 (MST) I love the picture for today...it's the Christmas card that the Kempa's sent out and it is still up today to remind me of Chris. Miss you buddy. A Friend USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 07:15:46 (MST) When Chris was about two or three he was the a very busy kid. When it came time for him to go to sleep he would protest and continue to play in his crib. Often I would have him lay down and put his head on the pillow. I would stand there for a minute and place my hand on his head to "hold his head on the pillow". He would be fast asleep in a few moments, it never took very long. Nite Nite Chris, Dad <afk49@aol.com> - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 00:09:23 (MST) One Chris memory that I have was from my last fall show as a Franklin Player, "Is There A Comic In The House?". Chris was going around during tech week and taking video of anything and everything so we would have something to use at the end of the year for the memory video that Hillman does. The one thing about Chris was that he always caught you just doing something that was you...sure we had fun and "acted" and did funny stuff in front of the camera, but Chris always found us just hanging out and being ourselves. There are so many smiles and laughs on that video...and I remember he had sooo much fun taping and being behind the scenes. Now he is still "behind the scenes" except we can't walk behind the red curtain or the set and see him. He is somehow "directing" us from heaven and is still watching us in our everyday things that we do. I would give up all these simple memories just to have Chris back here again... Michele - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 19:25:41 (MST) Dear Adam. Franny, and Adam: I have many fond memories of Christopher...but one that stands out in my mind is when we were with you at the lake in Michigan for a weekend one of the summers we joined you, probably 12 or 13 years ago...Chris made Uncle Bill sit still for a very long time at the kitchen table..to draw his face. He was so intent on doing that and would not take no for an answer...and the funny thing is that while drawing, he continued to chat away with Bill and draw a beautiful picture. He never missed anything going on around him. He was a very sweet and talented boy who touched all of us in one way or another..and I am glad we have some very nice family memories. I only wish we had the opportunity for more of those memories.We were all blessed to have known Christopher. JoAnne <jgvpri@adelphia.net> - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:43:01 (MST) Remembering Chris On November 20th we do not plan to have anything formal at the corner. I also think that Chris would prefer to be remembered by the barn show. We will be around on and off during the day. We will probably go up to the corner in the evening around 7 o'clock to light candles. If anyone wants to join us they are welcome. If you could please leave a Chris memory in the guest book between now and November 20th. It would be greatly appreciated. It could be how you first met him, or something funny that you may remember or what you remember most about Chris.... You have the option of not leaving your email address to avoid unwanted harassment. THANK YOU for all your recent visits to this site. Miss you always, Dad <afk49@aol.com> - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:53:15 (MST) 11/13/02...Same Ben Franklin as yesterday...once again, the detail is AWESOME! The photo was taken of Chris, by Chris in October, 2000. One of his MANY self photos that month! In this one he shows evidence of one of his keyboards and one of his guitars! If you look closely in the lower right corner, you can see Chris' left hand as he shot the photo! Two years ago today, Chris had an Orthodontist appointment....but it was a Tues., not a Thurs. He had JUST gotten his lower braces and that was his first check up....Both upper and lower braces were still intact after impact...according to his autopsy. I had another Chris memory Saturday night during desert but forgot about it until I went grocery shopping Wed....Chocolate pie was always our Thanksgiving desert of choice...the four of us. For years I made the pie and REAL whipped cream. About two years before Chris was killed, I decided to simplify my life where ever possible....and I discovered Cool Whip!....Chris LOVED Cool Whip! A day or two after the holiday if you opened the refrigerator, you would find the Cool Whip missing. Not long after, you'd find the empty container and a spoon in tell tale places, like his room or the basement! When confronted, he always admitted he'd finished the Cool Whip by itself, off of a spoon! In November 1999, Chris' last Thanksgiving, I discovered chocolate Reddi Whip and brought it home for our holiday desert...you could now have your choice of chocolate or cool whip topping for the chocolate pie!....Chris loved the new Reddi Whip...I think in part to gross me out on purpose, after Thanksgiving, he just put the can up to his mouth and squirted....and LAUGHED out loud!! Many people have been asking me about the 20th.....are we having anything at the corner. We won't be having anything formal there this year although I'll be there many times during the day. As I said in June when people were asking about his birthday....I don't want people to get sick of Chris.....even though I've been assured by many, that will NEVER happen...the event I want people to attend, the event I want people to remember Chris by is the annual Barn show.....That's how I want Chris to be remembered.....not by the boy who never grew up...not by this horrible event that took his life.....But by people and music and friends and talent and fun and laughter and generosity and love....that's how I want Chris to be remembered and I believe the Barn show reflects ALL of that! And I believe he has been present at the show these last two years!!!....and I believe he agrees, that's how he wants to be remembered! Fran Kempa - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 23:12:21 (MST) The pizza place in chicago was called Geno's East. It was in one of the rooms where you were allowed to carv your name or sayings on the wall or tables. A vary cool place that i plan on stopping by again whenever i visit Chicago. Katie B. - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 23:01:39 (MST) Chris took guitar for a year or two, but at first he didn't progress very much, Art seemed to be more his thing. A few months before he was killed his guitar teacher said Chris was starting to "really come along". His playing was was much improved. His guitars are now silent. His 6 string accoustic is in a case in his room. His 6 string electric on his bed. A 12 string accoustic converted to left hand is in the corner of our computer room. Silent reminders of a life now passed. Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:18:03 (MST) 11/13/02...The drawing is another we never knew existed until after Chris was killed. It was drawn for a Career Center project. Mr. Rheault brought it and another one to the funeral home the first day of visitation. I don't know if Mr. Rheault picked them up at Career Center or if the Career Center folks dropped them off at Franklin, either way, they found their way home that day. The photo was taken 11/9/00 during the Chicago field trip. Jenny Gervasi took the picture after Chris carved his name into a table at the pizza place they went to...I can't ever remember the name. Once again, we never saw this or many other pictures from the 9th until after he was killed...and we were SO happy to have them! At first I thought I had no specific memory of 11/13/00. Sometimes I feel like I fight with my brain to release these cherished memories..but often my brain wins, holding on to them for what ever reason. Two years ago it was a Monday, not a Wed...less than a week to live...how I WISH I knew. Chris had his first Driver Ed. class at Bryant Center. I dropped him off and picked him up. On the way home he told me how he had DRIVEN during his first class and how nervous he was..but at the same time he and I were both proud and happy he was doing this. In the evening he had the last guitar lesson of his life and may have gone to the Bean after but that I'm not sure of...We were just going about our lives and planning for the future. Fran Kempa - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:04:42 (MST) i herd a ad for a movie today. i dont remember the name of it but in the ad the guy says its not living thats important but living rigtly at the end of the ad he says how will history remember you? it made me think of chris all of us who knew him know how right he lived and we all know how he will be remembered....as a artist a musian a poet a video guy a sweet funny person and a special special friend one we can NEVER replace as the time gets close to the day i take time to think about him but i do every day MISSING my friend chris chris knows who - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:39:31 (MST) Sorry in a big rush to leave for class I ment Thanksgiving and CHRISTMAS*** me again USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 13:27:47 (MST) Chris about two Saturday's ago I went to Canada with a few people one of which was Chris Ekland well I was the one driving over the bridge and it was my first time I was very nervous I have one of your pins on my visor that Jason gave me so I looked up at it as I was driving...We all made it across the bride ok and when we got outta the car one of the people I was with noticed your pin and said oh Chris (Ekland) was in a band with Chris Kempa...I said really? Tell Mrs Kempa that even though I have never met Chris I am extremelly carefull when driving through intersections...As dumb as my story may sound it does have a lil bit of a point...I just thought it was funny how you and I have never physically met but I keep meeting all theese people that knew you it's very strange..I'm sure we would have met sometime!Best Wishes to Mr and Mrs Kempa and Adam too during this Thanksgiving and Christina espically and the rest of the year also! Christina - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 13:26:44 (MST) 11/12/02...Same self portrait from 11/00 as yesterday. The photo was taken at the 2000 Homecoming dance. Once again, I believe it was Oct. 17th..but I could be wrong...anyway, it was about one month before he was killed. Even though he went stag, he met up with many friends...some of whom introduced him to this nice girl named Tania. Sat. before dinner several guests commented on the "beautiful" table. With the two leaves, it comfortably sits 10...uncomfortably 12. Both leaves were in Sat. I told some people the dining room set was my Great Gradnmother's. It's a beautiful mahogony set that we refinished...except for the buffet....which remains in the garage after all these years.... I have always been cautious with it because it's so old and really can't be replaced. Adam always tried to encourage me to keep a table cloth on it but I refused, saying the wood was too beautiful to cover up....Which brought me to another Chris memory...I don't recall the exact date but approx. two years before Chris was killed, Ron slept over...one of many nights. They always played video games in the basement, then came up to the sunroom to watch a video and sleep...after a certain hour, we stopped monitering them. This one particular night, Chris apparently indulged too much...not in bad things,...just too much. He became ill in the sunroom..as he was making a run for the downstairs bathroom he had to pass through the dining room, didn't quit make it... and threw up all over my antique table! Ron and Chris cleaned it up after a fashion but not as thoroughly as I would have done...it sat until morning. Mr. Kempa was MUCH more upset than I was the next day...the grain was raised some but to me it was no big deal...and that's the way it's remained to this day!.....It's still beautiful!....just a little raised in places!...To me, another FUNNY Chris memory!! Fran Kempa - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 22:28:11 (MST) Mrs. Kempa~I look forward to seeing you and Mrs. Allen at the show. You will be so proud of the girls and of everyone involved! Front page and color...pretty cool! My prayers and thoughts are always with you! Ms. Hillman - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 20:12:02 (MST) I really did't know that it could hurt this bad after all this time.... Miss you always.... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 01:18:13 (MST) 11/11/02....The art is a whimsical self portrait Chris did on 11/16/00 on an Anne Of Green Gables program for Cori. As you can see, at the top he wrote CHRIS with arrows pointing to himself. To the right he wrote, "For Cori"....and drew himself in a Death Cab For Cutie T shirt....how I WISH we had all the others...Cori said he drew on program after program that day but she only saved a few, but WHO knew? The photo is another taken in late October, 2000....at Autumn Bash 2000. The band wore silver masks that night as you can see Chris is wearing....after he was killed the other members of the band wrote thoughts and wishes on their masks and left them at the Memorial! I thought that was so touching! I STILL have those masks...even the one Chris wore......I have just about everything that was left at the Memorial....except that which was stolen and desecrated by a certain person. If you look closely at Chris' right hand, just below the red wrist band, you can see evidence of that beautiful, intricate design....It truly was beautiful! They prayed for people like us during Mass this morning...."For all those who have ever lost a child, we pray to the Lord." And I tearfully replied, "Lord, hear our prayer"...As my mother poked me with her elbow......I didn't miss it Mom, I got it.. Fran Kempa - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 23:56:32 (MST) What a wonderful surprise to see Cori and Dana on the FRONT page of the Livonia Observer this morning for the Franklin fall play, A Mid Summer Nights Dream. The set and costumes look awesome as usual..Best of luck girls, Mrs. Allen and I WILL be there! Fran Kempa - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 13:11:23 (MST) 11/10/02...The art is the same BORED as yesterday, drawn just four short days before Chris was killed. The photo was taken 9/2/00 after the funeral luncheon following Grandma Kempa's funeral....it is the LAST photo EVER taken of the four of us as a complete family. The boys returned to Detroit from Buffalo by themselves a day early to attend a WEEZER concert. After chris was killed I was SO hapy they had a chance as brothers alone for that length of time...I think Adam was happy about it too. Our pseudo Thanksgiving was a success...good food, good friends, family...and we all toasted Chris! I used the hunter green table cloth I purchased 11/16/00 in preparation for my thanksgiving feast...I had used it once before, at the end of the summer when we had company for dinner.....I even used the chair bows! I was telling my mother and sister the story of the tablecloth as we were putting it on, then I mentioned the chair bows. I went and got them from the drawer in the laundry room desk...still in their original packaging almost two years after purchase...I asked my sister if she thought we should use them..she said, "yes, I think Chris would want you to."...so i did! EVERYONE commented on the beautiful table! After everyone had gone home or gone to bed, Adam and I sat in the kitchen looking into the dining room...I said, "That's so weird...that's how our Thanksgiving table SHOULD have looked in 2000"...All he could very sadly say was, "I know." Fran Kempa - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 01:03:43 (MST) Miss you always. Dad <<<<<<<>>>>>> - Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 17:04:35 (MST) 11/9/02...The art is the whimsical self portrait Chris did on an Anne Of Green Gables program Thurs. 11/16/00...three days to live, four days before he was killed...nobody knew. The photo is another of the boy cousins taken 8/26/00. TWO years ago today is another memory etched in my mind forever....even if Chris was still alive, I'd remember this day VIVIDLY....because I was SO HAPPY! Chris was in Chicago for the art department firld trip and after work, I was elected to register him for drivers Ed. I can STILL see myself as I walked from the van toward the entrance to the Bryant Center. It was a very warm day...I didn't even need a coat. I even remember which uniform top I had on. I can still see myself SMILING as I walked...the type of smile I call "smiling out loud" It was big and there was no reason to disguise it....EVERYTHING was right with our little world! I was smiling because I was thinking about Chris in Chicago, I was smiling because it was such a beautiful day, I was smiling because I was so happy to be doing this for Chris....I was smiling because EVERYTHING was right with our little world...and it felt good and I was so HAPPY!...NO CLUE. Our company has arrived for our pseudo Thanksgiving. I am SO happy we'll also be joined by our dear friends Brad and Claudia, Adam's girlfriend Sarah...and our dear friend Bill will join us for desert!..."The more the merrier!" That was always our motto for the cottage and it always proved to be true!....But at the core of all this is STILL that gnawing feeling....I MISS MY CHRIS!!! Fran K empa - Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 00:02:42 (MST) Some simple things made me think of you... I was trying "to keep busy" so that I would not dwell on this awful time of the year. I was tying a bundle with twine last night. The same twine that we often used to bundle branches and twigs that fall from the many trees on our lot. When you were little you would hold the string so I could make a knot. It was a help. I was blowing fall leaves around the yard into big plies. In the fall you would often play in the leaf piles. You would build "forts" out of the fallen leafs. You were always very busy, and the forts were very detailed. A few days before you were killed, you helped Mom. You carryied tarp load after tarp load of leaves to the curb for leaf pickup. You seemed to enjoy being helpful that day and joked with Mom as you worked. Some simple things made me think of you..... Dad <<<<<<>>>>>> - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 13:38:43 (MST) The eyes of the tiger and the eyes of Chris almost line up on this page but the left eye of the tiger and the left eye of Chis look weird Miss My Buddy - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 00:59:43 (MST) 11/8/02...Same AWESOME tiger as yesterday. The photo was one Chris took of himself after Homecoming 2000...for some reason I think it was Oct. 17th, 2000...but I could be very wrong. Chris did that a lot..took pictures of himself. But the majority of these self portraits were taken in Oct. 2000! Two years ago tonight we were preparing for the Frankiln Art Departmrnt field trip to Chicago! It was Chris' third trip there and he LOVED it! I vividly remember making sure everything was in order...blanket, pillow, CD player, Gameboy...CHERISHED batteries, CDs, snacks, contained among them his favorite Altoids! He had to be at Franklin at 6am which worked out perfectly because I had to work that day at 6:30..just dropped him off on my way....He was SOOOO excited!! And I was SOOO excited for him! Wednesday I continued my closet, drawer, cupboard cleaning. I started with the upstairs linen closet...another I had skipped last year...once again, it was pretty rough. I found the sheets that were on the bed 11/19/00 as we did Drivers Ed. together. They have not been on the bed since and most likely never will. I found all the twin bedding for his bed...even found the Buffalo Bills pillow case Sacha Baker gave him so long ago...he loved it!..cleaning out a linen closet can make you cry. I then started on my dresser drawers...found the night gown I wore 11/19/00 and answered the door in 11/20/00 in response to the blonde police woman's KNOCK...haven't worn it since...most likely never will..But I'll keep them, just as we've kept his clothes..the ones he was wearing 11/20/00...cut to ribbons and covered with blood. Today, my parents and sister arrive from Buffalo for our second annual pseudo Thanksgiving. I can only guess it will be many more years, if ever, I will be able to celebrate an actual Thanksgiving or any other holiday. I'm working this Thanksgiving and I am glad I am. I know they'll want to see the Memorial and go to the cemetary..and maybe see some other things. Solaris looks like an interesting movie....I am NOT a George Clooney fan, but I might see this one. Fran Kempa - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 22:53:59 (MST) You're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground You're the breath that blows these cool winds 'round Trading places with an angel now 11/20/00 -- Never Forget I think about you, miss you, and pray for you every day Chris....Please keep watching over me buddy.... Cousin Bill <jiggavaughan@hotmail.com> - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 04:18:49 (MST) Very awesome artwork! MCS <mopcopsop@yahoo.com> - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 03:14:11 (MST) 11/7/02....The art is the awesome drawing Chris did in mid October 2000 for a project in the Visual Communications program at the Career Center. Adam and I both agree...it's called TIGER! In person, you can see all the amazing detail....not only his whiskers, but the little hairs at the top of his head! The photo was taken in late October at the Autumn Bash 2000 at Churchill High. Chris played keyboards for Derilict during that show....The other members of that hastily put together band were LONG time friends of Chris...Scott Allen, Danny Sperry and Andrew Schinsky....ANOTHER VIVID memory! I will NEVER forget him coming home that night and telling me all about the show at the kitchen counter...that's when I discovered the beautiful, intricate drawing on his right hand...I'll never forget him telling me it might not wash off... but it would wear off...and it did...There was NO evidence of that beautiful drawing on his right hand when I saw him on the gurney at St. Mary's 11/20/00...... Michigan has a new Governor...a woman, Jennifer Granholm. She was interviewed last evening during the 5 o'clock news. The reporter asked her how it felt to be the first female Governor of Michigan...she replied by saying it was a "pinch youself moment"...she then went on to say, it's like something you never dreamed possible happening..but it did...do you know what I mean?....And I thought, "Yeah Jennifer, according to your defination, I experienced a pinch myself moment 11/20/00....that was certainly nothing I ever dreamed possible....but then I NEVER DREAMED there were such drivers on the road coming in contact with my sweet child....NEVER DREAMED!! Last night was our Compassionate Friends meeting. Once again..as at every, there were MANY new people at the new people table which always makes me cringe. It only means there have been many more children gone too soon..... Last night our table consisted of a mother who lost her son at 23 from cancer, a father who lost his son at 18 from suicide, a mother who lost her son at 23 from a shooting, parents who lost their son at 45 from a heart attact...and us. The main topic of conversation was the upcoming "holidays"....we all agreed they have now become something we want to get over...rather than something we want to get on with! Fran kempa - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 23:12:55 (MST) Archived the last few months. Thanks! Adam Kempa <adam@kempa.com> - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 22:24:35 (MST)